It was now known around the tower that Darcy had freaked out after the attack. Only people that were still around during the aftermath actually knew that it wasn't just a post head injury freak out and that she actually had a problem. She should be grateful for that at least.
Clint apologised to her several times, she did the same to him. He didn't ask her any details on her problem but said he was stupid, he saw the signs that day and shouldn't have touched her at all. She thought it was a stupid thing to apologise for, he was trying to help her, even if her fight or flight reaction prevented her from realising it at the time.
Jane asked. Not the why of it but she asked for more specific information on what was acceptable and not so that she could be more careful. She did ask if in time Darcy was likely to become more relaxed around her and after seeing her boss try very hard to respect her boundaries, she was actually able to say yes.
Bruce didn't ask, she wanted to tell him. She trusted him the most and she wanted to explain herself...but she felt ridiculous.
She knew what people were thinking. There were two main theories people thought of. The first was child abuse. She wasn't an abused child, her father hadn't been around, in fact her mother had outright admitted to not even being sure which of two men it was. Her mother had given up everything to be a good mum. She had been an amazing parent, single or not right up until her death just months before she went to New Mexico.
It had been cancer, long and slow and eating away at any money her mum might have left her. All that was left was an insurance pay out which covered the funeral. Darcy was still paying some of the medical bills in installments right alongside the loan she took out to finish her degree. Fortunately she only needed the loan to cover the last year of it.
The cancer was why she had never told her mother that there were problems following the attack.
The second thing people thought of was attack, usually rape. They would only be half right.
She felt stupid. She felt like a baby.
Help had arrived before too much damage could happen to her. She was luckier than so many people out there but still her entire life she lived with the thought of that moment, when she was being held down by several pairs of hands, grabbing at her, pulling off her clothes. She had ended up with a broken collarbone and a broken wrist and it wasn't until long after they had healed that she realised her fear wasn't going away, it had grown worse.
Even though she hadn't worked up the courage to tell Bruce exactly why she was a bit of a basket case, things between them were just as relaxed as normal. She had even started making a note to touch him sometimes, it was easier to be the one reaching out to do the touching. Just the occasional touch on the hand, arm or shoulder. He made a note to only ever touch her in places she had touched him and it was nice. It was nice to have someone that could hold her hand without her steeling herself, someone who could touch her in a silent show of support that she didn't tense at. She was able to accept the small touches just like any other person would. It was a strange sort of friendship that they had but it worked for them.
Tony was a whole different ball game. He didn't ask questions exactly but suddenly he was around more and hovering. He hovered a lot. He was always checking she was alright, trying to do things for her and several times getting a bit too close for comfort to touching her. He was acting like a mother hen and it drove her nuts.
Obviously, despite any good intentions he had, it was a recipe for disaster.
Darcy snatched herself backwards, as if she had been burned and suddenly there was a wall between Tony and her. First she flinched away from further contact, then she recognised the body in front of her. Bruce...
He stood imposingly in front of her like a human shield. It didn't matter to her that his shirt occasionally brushed against her in places, she could smell his familiar deodorant and shampoo. She could see him protecting her. Instead of fearing him, she was able to feel protected by him.
"What the hell Tony?! It not enough to push my buttons but you have to do it to her too?!" He snapped.
"I'm OK." She said quickly, noticing Bruce's fists clenching and unclenching by his sides repeatedly.
"Hey, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone!" Tony protested, holding his hands up in surrender. "I was just seeing if she could be less freaked out by me yet."
"You're constantly in her space, how is she going to trust you that way?!" He snarled sounding less like Bruce this time.
"Hey, it's alright, I'll back away. We don't have to get all ragey, you know I'm not a danger." Tony said, quieter this time. Darcy couldn't see anything except Tony's arms held up from where she stood but she didn't think it was working. "You know I'm not going to hurt her. I was trying to help. Trying to help her get her to…Whoa Big Guy, I'm backing up. Watch, I'm stepping away."
Darcy held her breath as Bruce swelled up before her eyes, his shirt falling away into pieces as the Hulk roared to his full height in front of her. Suddenly she found herself actually worrying about Tony. The Hulk had brushed aside Clint for accidentally touching her, Tony was Tony, he was bound to say the wrong thing and end up smashed.
"Hey Big Guy..." She said softly from behind him. He only turned his face to her.
"Scared." He nodded towards her.
"A little but you're here now. Tony won't do anything while you're here." She assured him. "Tony, you might want to start backing slowly out of the room and not letting anyone else in here."
"Yeah, on that." She heard him reply. "Are you good? He won't hurt you but...are you alright with him?"
"We'll be fine." She replied.
The Hulk kept snarling until Darcy heard the door slide open and closed, then he seemed to look around the room for other threats.
"Hey, Hulk...I'm alright, we're safe." She spoke, reaching very slowly out to touch his arm. He turned to face her properly and she found herself craning her neck to look up at him.
"Hulk protect." He sniffed. She felt a warmth creep through her at his awkward words and smiled warmly at him.
"Yeah big guy, yeah you did." She said, stroking at his arm. "Tony didn't mean to scared me or upset you. He's just...Tony Stark, he doesn't really think things all the way through."
"Stark stupid." He grunted, she watched in surprise as he lowered himself and sat on the ground in front of her. He looked for all the world like a giant green, pouting child.
"Yeah, Tony can be pretty stupid." She agreed. "I think...I think he wants me not to be afraid of him but he's too impatient."
"Not scared of Hulk?" He asked looking confused.
"No," she replied, stepping closer to him. She felt less scared than she ever felt. She felt the same relaxed kinship she had with Bruce, if possible she felt it even stronger. "I'm not scared of you, you protect me. You're part of Bruce, you're the angry part sure but you...you protect Bruce and you protect me. He's my friend, that makes you my friend too."
She stood still as he reached out and touched her head gently, not because she was scared but because he was so big, it must be pretty hard for him not to just crush everything by accident. Suddenly she realised that this was her chance to explain to someone, talk to someone. Someone who only wanted her safe and wouldn't have a million opinions on the matter.
"It's not all Tony's fault though." She sighed, finding herself sitting on the ground next to him. "I didn't explain my problem to anyone properly and I've never tried to get help for it. I should have done, it's my own fault I'm still like this."
"Hulk protect Darcy, no need to be scared." He said, shifting his hand to wrap around her carefully. A small squeak of surprise escaped her before her released her and she found herself sat on his legs. "Hulk strong, Hulk protect."
"Thanks big guy." She whispered, her voice cracking as a sob broke through. Before she even had time to second guess herself she flung her arms around his middle and clung to him, sobbing against solid green skin. The Hulk said nothing, he just placed one arm around her to hold her back and sat there letting her cry.
Over the next hour she told him everything. She explained how she felt partially responsible for what had happened to her. She had learned early on that having boobs often got her alcohol and had had a few drinks before walking home. She wasn't drunk but she was definitely not sober either and she still walked home in the dark alone. There had been three men, they had pinned her down and were obviously going to rape her. Fortunately they hadn't bothered keeping her quiet and it attracted attention. A group of people leaving the bar ran to her aid. A woman had helped her get redressed while another woman held up her coat in front of them like a curtain, the men had fought off the other men and called the police. The two men that had come to help had only been able to keep one of the attackers restrained, the bar's bouncer had given chase to one of the others but lost him. The one with his trousers down had been the one caught. He had been arrested and charged with attempted rape and aggravated assault. Darcy had been seventeen.
She told him how she didn't even realise that the nightmares and freaking out wasn't going away until a few months later because obviously people are scared after something like that. By that time her mum was already diagnosed with ovarian cancer and Darcy didn't want to put another worry on her mother's shoulders while she fought the disease. It was over two years later that she died. The original cancer had been removed and everything looked good, until the doctors found traces of it in her bowel. Aggressive. When they went in to see if they could remove it, they found that it was more widespread. It spread fast and it was only two months from the day they found the bowel cancer until the day she passed away.
She told him everything and he just sat and listened. He said nothing and just held her. He was so still and quiet that she wondered if he had fallen asleep but when she finally looked up, he was staring down at her.
"Hulk not let hurt again. Fear can go now." He told her when he was sure she had finished talking.
"I'm not sure it's that simple but thank you." She smiled tearfully. "Will Bruce remember this?"
"Some." He grunted. "Want Banner?"
"I want you both." She said, hugging him around his waist as best she could. "Bruce understands me and comforts me, you protect me. I need you both."
He seemed to think for a moment before nodding to himself. "No threat."
Darcy looked up to ask what he meant only to topple as he began to shrink. She tensed when she suddenly found herself practically led across a half naked Bruce Banner. She forced her eyes open, once she was able to make her brain register that it was Bruce and no one else, she was able to stop herself from panicking.
"Darcy?" He groaned, leaning up on his elbows, taking in their situation. "Oh god, I'm sorry!" She got up and moved to sit next to him on the floor, as he ensured his pants still covered the important bits.
"Why? All you did was sit here with me." She told him. "The only thing that you ruined was your shirt and those pants that are hanging on for dear life."
"Tony left you? With the other guy?!" He asked in horror.
"He did." She nodded. "His name is Hulk, not other guy and he wouldn't hurt a hair on my head. I think you know that too, so don't even try it."
"He does...seem quite protective of you." He conceded. Suddenly his face crumpled and she knew that he did remember at least part of what she had said.
"Please don't look at me like that." She whispered. "I don't want people looking at me like that."
"Did anyone tell you my story?" He asked.
"You mean there's more after the part where you accidentally turned big and green from gamma radiation?" She said nudging him.
"Actually, before it." He said quietly. "I'll tell you, once we're somewhere more comfortable and once I have a few more clothes on."
"You don't have to tell me."
"It's not a big secret Darcy, several people know the story and if you're going to be spending so much time around me and the other...Hulk, then you should know the story." He said, carefully getting to his feet while, holding his pants up.
"OK," she nodded getting up also. "Meet you in your office in a bit?"