New Chapter!
In or Out
Overnight Spock spent hours rethinking the logic behind each decision.
Should he stay with Starfleet? Or should he devote the rest of his life to the remaining Vulcans?
There was logic for both sides and the study of the logic before had made him lean towards the latter, but after the discussion with his counterpart that decision had been brought back into question and he had to consider the whole matter again.
The next morning, at an appropriate hour, Spock changed into a freshly pressed Starfleet uniform and set out for Captain Pike's office to share his decision.
The route to Pike's office was familiar, as Spock had made the journey many times, he had walked it many times in his service as Pike's First Officer. It took him into the office wing of the main campus building. The interior was spacious and sleek, fitting with the common style of current Terran architecture.
The large glass windows that lined the halls let in the bright yellow sunlight this part planet was known for. The Golden Gate bridge could been seen from this vantage point. From across the Bay Starfleet's headquarters could be seen as well on days like this where visibility were optimal. The mornings often were full of fog and could give the impression that the Golden Gate Bridge was cut in half. The water underneath the bridge was a deep blue color and reflected the sunlight.
It was what was considered a beautiful Terran day.
Spock's mind wandered briefly to the sands and harsh sunlight of Vulcan and he found
Just Spock reached the halfway point down the hall to his destination someone exited through Pike's office door at the far. The person in question started moving in Spock's direction, looking down at a pad in his hand as he walked.
When Spock realized who it was he paused. Spock had anticipated it was only a matter of time until they would cross paths again, but he did not expect that crossing of paths to be so soon.
"James Kirk."
Kirk stopped walking and looked up from his pad, looking confused and a bit alarmed. As soon as he saw Spock though those emotions quickly fled his face.
"Spock!" Kirk called back in recognition. He was smiling brightly at Spock, looking pleased to see him. He started walking again to get closer to Spock. "I was wondering how long it would be until I saw you again." He stopped right next to Spock and held his hand out before quickly retracted it. "Sorry, I forgot. Vulcans don't shake hands. Is this better? And you can call me Jim, by the way." He presented the Vulcan salute.
Spock could not help but feel impressed as he returned the gesture.
"Not many know the Vulcan salute beyond Vulcans." Spock noted.
"I know a few Vulcan customs and gestures, that being one of them." Jim explained. "I find Vulcan customs far more pleasant than those of the Ferengi. They are also more elegant than Andorian customs, but not nearly as enjoyable as Orion."
"Do you study customs and cultures?"
"No. Well, yes, but that is not how I learned the salute. I learned it from a Vulcan merchant a few years back. I used to be a merchant myself."
"You are a merchant no longer?"
"Yes. I no longer have a ship and I don't see myself buying a new one anytime soon, so I am afraid I have had a forced change of career." To what career he has chosen instead of his old, Spock felt he already knew.
"Let us hope this change is for the better." Spock said. Kirk smiled brightly at his words.
"I think it will be. This isn't the first time I have had to rethink things." Kirk's smile dimmed before disappearing entirely. His expression was now more similar to the determined one he had held when he and Spock had first met face to face. "I am glad I ran into you. I wanted to thank you for listening to me. For believing. It's just… Thank you… for that."
"You are welcome." Spock returned. "I should thank you as well. Events would not have played out as they did without you. I may have been mourning two planets instead of one."
Kirk smiled sadly. "You're welcome. I just wish… I wish I could have done more."
"You performed sufficiently. It was thanks to your warning signal that so many managed to escape. My mother was among those who managed, and for that I am grateful."
"I didn't know." Kirk said.
"It is yet another reason I find myself in your debt."
A kind smile returned to his face. Suddenly, Kirk's watch pinged loudly. He looked down and tapped his watch and looked back up at Spock. "I have to leave. I have somewhere to be and I am running late. I hope I will see you soon."
"Goodbye, Mr. Kirk." Spock bid farewell, giving a curt nod.
"Goodbye, Spock!" Jim started to walk away. After a few paces he turned around and added "And call me Jim!" with a wave.
Spock watch Kirk go until he disappeared around the corner.
A breeze rustled the grass outside, and cadets in red uniforms were walking outside the window, enjoying the good weather between classes.
Spock resumed walking and pinged the bell at Pike's door.
The door let him in and he marched through, stopping a few paces in to salute.
"Sir."
Pike returned the salute with a smile. "That's enough," he said, "Come on in a little closer."
Spock followed orders and approach Pike's desk, stopping a meter away. From this vantage point he could see Pike's wheelchair. He could also see that Pike had lost some weight and gained more silver hairs.
"Spock, I was wondering when I would see you again." Pike said.
"Captain Pike…" Spock began.
Pike interrupted "Its admiral now. I got promoted."
"Congratulations, Admiral Pike."
"Thank you, Spock. Would you like to sit down?" He gestured at one of the chairs in the room. Spock declined.
They fell into a silence. Pike was watching Spock from behind the desk. He was allowing Spock to initiate the conversation. After all, it was Spock who owed Pike an explanation. Spock hesitated for a few moments before finally speaking again. "Admiral Pike, may I inquire about your health?"
"You may. I am fine. Lost the majority of mobility in my legs but the doctors predict I will regain most of it over time."
Hearing this a great deal of stress and worry Spock did not acknowledge he was harboring dissipated, but the guilt of not knowing until now remained. "I am relieved to hear that. I regret as to not checking in on your healing progress sooner…"
"You have nothing to regret. I may have gone through an ordeal myself, Spock, but it is nowhere near the magnitude of what you went through." Pike wheeled himself around the desk and approached Spock. "How have you been?"
"To be truthful… not optimal." Spock admitted, not meeting Pike's eye. "The loss of Vulcan had been difficult on all Vulcans. I am not exception."
"If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here." Pike offered. He put a hand on Spock's arm, just above his elbow, and clutched it tight in a gesture meant to be comforting and reassuring. Spock relaxed his stance and looked at Pike.
"Thank you but that will be unnecessary." Pike nodded and rolled back his wheelchair to give them some space. Spock had never been one to share much of anything of a personal nature with Pike but the gesture contained genuine sentiment. He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms.
"So why don't you tell me why you really came here."
Spock stiffened his stance again and spoke. "It concerns my position in Starfleet, Sir. Since the event I have been unfocused and negligent of my duty to Starfleet. My conduct aboard the Enterprise as acting captain was unacceptable and I allowed myself to be emotionally compromised…"
"Stop." Pike's expression hardened. "What I really need to know, Spock, is if you wish to remain in Starfleet, or if you want to be discharged. If it is a discharge you want, I can file it right here and now for you, and you can walk through my office door and be free of all responsibility to me and Starfleet and devote your time to the cause of your choosing. But, if you choose to stay, there will be no punishment for any negligence on your part since we arrived back at Earth. In fact, as far as Starfleet Command was concerned, you were on leave. The events of the Narada incident have already been reviewed and not a negative word was raised about your actions that day. In fact, your actions as acting captain were commended. I believe they plan to award you medal. I just need an answer. Are you staying or are you leaving?"
Spock digested everything Pike said, but his decision had already been made since before he walked through the door. "I wish to remain in Starfleet. While I have a duty to all remaining Vulcans to help rebuild our culture and species, I made a commitment to Starfleet that not only would I look out for the welfare of my own species, but that I would look out for and help protect the species of all those of the Federation as an officer and scientist of Starfleet."
When he chose Starfleet years ago in front of the Vulcan Science Academy it had been an act of defiance. But when Spock joined Starfleet, he had joined it for himself. After thinking it over all night, reconsidering his decision, this was what he felt was the right choice. As his older counterpart had indicated, this universe does have an additional Spock to spare, who in addition to the Vulcan elders would be invaluable in rebuilding Vulcan society.
Pike smiled again. "I was hoping that would be your answer. You can have the rest of today off, but show up at my office tomorrow at eight. There is a lot of work to be done and we still have a senior cadet class to graduate."
Spock agreed, feeling satisfied and only mildly distressed at not having to report for duty until tomorrow. There was also a lingering question on his mind.
"Before I depart may I pose an inquiry?"
"Ask away, Spock."
"What was James Kirk doing in your office?"
Pike let out a small laugh. "I see you ran into him in the hall. I thought so. Jim is planning on joining Starfleet. I am sponsoring him. We were just going over the finer points of the Academy entrance examine."
"I see." His older counterpart's gamble was being realized. "Do you know why he chose to join?"
"I recruited him. But to be honest, I think he would have ended up here anyway. He was born for it. His actions on the Enterprise and the Narada were impressive and heroic. He has a quality to him that is brave and bold. I believe he will be a good asset for Starfleet and that adding him into the mix might help shake things up."
Or set them as they should have been, Spock mused to himself. The Narada may have going back to its own past but now this reality and that from which it came from were diverged. Comparing the reality he lived in to any other existing alternate realities was complicated matter, but it could be reasoned that this reality and the Narada's were more comparable due to their relationship to each other being closer than most. James Kirk could have all the same base qualities that his alternate self possessed; the one Spock's own alternate self seemed to… hold in high regard. That was the clearest way to phrase it.
But there was no certainty, and Spock preferred not making such comparisons: Not between his two selves and not between anyone else.
"I believe Kirk will do well in Starfleet." He responded.
"Will that be all, Spock?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Good. See you tomorrow. You are dismissed."
"Life is messy. Clean it up, organize it, and put it into a bento box." – Brené Brown from the TEDtalk 'The power of vulnerability'