Chapter Sixteen

Slipping Through My Fingers

Change is inevitable, as they say.

Everything seemed to be ramping up. The end of the semester for the Academy loomed closer and closer every day. All his cadet friends started disappearing into their projects and studying. The last time he managed to get everyone together it was more of an independent study gathering than a group of friends.

It was like things had reverted back to him studying for the entrance exams, but instead of everyone collaborating they barely talked at all. Each person was pursuing different majors, so this late into the game in their final semester there was very little overlap. Jim made his rounds offering what he could to help, short of writing their essays.

Repairs on the Enterprise were also nearly completed. Now that the major projects were finished, Scotty was working his team like mad to carry out all the finishing touches he had in mind. If he did not end up as the chief engineer, he wanted to set an example to the future chief engineer of what could be done with determination and some fine Scottish workmanship.

Spock was often buried in work of his own. As a consequence of limited staff, he was doing everything from preparing study guidelines to grading papers and projects to writing and overseeing exams. Jim knew he was also doubling down and working with the Vulcans on finding a new planet and dealing with all the aftermath of an entire species being displaced.

Yes, for the most part, the gathering had become sparsely populated. Most nights it was just Jim and Bones.

Bones never stayed up too late. He worked long hours at Starfleet Medical while also finishing up his own courses. Since he was already a fully-fledged doctor before joining Starfleet he had his own special course load, similar to Jim. He could have graduated a while ago if he hadn't been working so much at Medical.

"Healing is my life," Bones had said, "I can't be stuck in a classroom all day if I know I can be useful elsewhere."

Even with his volunteer job, Jim found himself not as busy as he would like to be and with all his friends often otherwise occupied, he was once again alone.

A terrifying realization popped into his mind. This is just like it is going to be next semester. Once everyone was graduated, they would be sent off to all parts of the galaxy. Or they could get lucky and all end up on the same ship. Either way, where ever they went, Jim would still be here.

Sure, there was the possibility that he could make new friends, but Spock, Bones, Uhura and the others were like no friends he had before. And sure, he would only be here for a year at the least, but there was no guarantee he would be placed on a ship with any one of them when he graduated.

There was no guarantee of anything. The calming refuge of having a path in life once again through Starfleet was once again a chaotic cloud of random chance.

Jim needed a drink.

Tonight, after Bones went to bed, Jim once again found that sleep escaped him. Instead on laying on a couch agonizing, Jim decided to take action and go out. He was going to go explore, find some bar he had never been to before, and drink something he has never had before.

Perhaps this mini-adventure and small taste of the unknown will help him embrace what he knew was coming, and quiet the voice he had deep within him that told him to move into the shadows, find a shuttle off world, and once again disappear.

"There are as many worlds as there are kinds of days, and as an opal changes its colors and its fire to match the nature of a day, so do I."
―John Steinbeck