Don't kill me. It's been 84 years.
"Wait, Dani, I found her, can I call you back?"
"Of course" I hang up and pull the car to the curb, putting the window down.
"Get in the car" I say sternly.
She looks so lost and frightened, I can see remnants of tears on her cheeks. Eventually she gets up and makes her way to the car. The drive back to the apartment is completely in silence.
When we get home, I sit her in the kitchen while I put Bailey back to bed.
I come back to see her staring at the table with a blank expression on her face.
I prepare some hot chocolate and then sit down opposite her.
"Do you wanna tell me what that was about?"
"I don't know" She says. I can tell she's trying to sound angry but she just sounds so sad.
"Try again please."
"Everything just got too much." She says as tears fall down her face.
"What got too much? I can't fix it if you don't tell me"
I don't even know. I've been doing better but sometimes things just get to me"
"Like what baby girl?"
"I had a bad dream last night and then today some kids at school were making jokes and I guess it was just all too much"
"Okay, so where were you going?"
"I don't know. I just wanted to make the feelings stop." She is sobbing now and I get up to wrap her up in my arms.
"A girl at school told me she could get some stuff to help with feelings. To make them stop. I was going to meet her. I guess I thought if I stopped feeling for a while, I wouldn't keep making mistakes and making you angry."
"Babe, you know you can talk to us"
"I know. I got half way there and stopped because I knew what I was doing was wrong and I don't want to be like that I just can't make all the thoughts and feelings stop."
"Tell me about these thoughts and feelings. Why don't you start with your dream?"
She looks absolutely terrified when I say that.
"I.. I don't know"
"Kayla" I prompt her further
"It was about him.."
"Your dad?"
"Yeah."
"And what happened?" I'm still holding on to her while she recounts the story
"I don't even really know what the dream was about, it just all blurs together. Him being so angry all the time. At my mom, and at me. She would always try and make him angry. It's like it was a game to her. Why would she do that?" Kayla sobs and I pull her closer to me
"People do messed up things sometimes and there isn't always a clear reason why. I know that I can't take away all the hurt you've had to deal with and there are going to be bumps in the road, but I promise you that you are safe here. Dani and I won't let anything like that happen to you ever again. You are safe and you are loved." I say the last few words straight into her ear. I need her to know.
"I love you. I'm sorry for sneaking out." She's clinging to me at this point.
"Don't make a habit of it." I joke
"I promise, I won't." She sniffles.
"Good. Now what do you say we go to bed? Hmm? We can talk more tomorrow" I pull back to look at her, waiting for an answer.
She hesitantly starts to nod and I don't think it has anything to do with us talking tomorrow. Before she can say anything, I grab her hand pulling her towards mine and Dani's room.
"Come sleep in here, it's weird with Dani gone having the whole bed to myself"
"Okay, let me just go get my pajamas back on?" She responds, seeming a little more upbeat.
I nod at her and then pull out my phone sending a quick text to Dani
She's safe. Sleeping in our bed tonight. I'll fill you in first thing. I love you.