Author's Note: I won nothing.
Again SPOILER ALERT! This chapter contains A LOT content from cannon that has not been put in the anime yet. You have now been warned. I kept a lot of stuff the same at the beginning and then veered things off a bit to match my own universe and imaginings. I hope you all enjoy.
Also, I have started writing out that Halloween Special that I mentioned previously. It's turning out really good and I think I will post it after the next couple chapters. ^^
Hinata growled in frustration. He was pissed and he couldn't help it. How the hell had he lost? He was so damn sure that he would beat Kageyama this time. He had definitely grown more than Kageyama had but Kageyama had jumped higher than he had. Damnit damnit damnit. What had changed? They had been jumping almost the same height before the interhigh. Hinata had been able to jump 323 centimeters then and Kageyama had been at 329. Now he was at 333 and Kageyama was at 337. What was Kageyama doing to stay ahead of him? Hinata hadn't changed anything in his routine and practiced a lot more than Kageyama did so where was the difference coming from?
Kageyama smirked at his mate. "Better luck next time dumbass."
"Oh shut up." Hinata grumbled back. He was already formulating a new plan to gain some height on his jumps. He was determined to beat Kageyama next year when they did this again. While Hinata and Kageyama were griping back and forth at each other Takeda-sensei came running into the gym a piece of paper clutched tight in his fist.
"Hey everyone, I've got an important announcement so gather round." He called as he took off his shoes and stepped inside. Coach Ukai came over with the rest of the team wondering what had the sensei so excited. "Alright I'll just cut to the chase. Kageyama… this December you've been invited at an All-Japan Youth intensive training camp."
"All JAPAN?!" came the echo from almost every one of his teammates. They all stared at Kageyama in complete surprise. Even Hinata was staring. Hinata's mouth went slack with the surprise as he stared at his mate. He was torn in half. Was he supposed to be happy or pissed, proud or jealous? Dammit!
"That's the same as Ushiwaka from Shiritorizawa!" Yamaguchi exclaimed staring at Kageyama.
"Wow, that's amazing!" Yachi declared. "That means you're one of the top players in the country."
It's not just that." Kyoko said in response.
"That's right. It means in 2 or 3 years Kageyama has a shot at representing Japan in the Youth tournament. After all the under 19 team is picked from those who are invited to this training camp." Daichi explained.
"It only means he has a shot, not that he's actually got what it takes to get that far." Tsukishima remarked coolly. Yamaguchi snickered at the comment.
"What about me?" Hinata ran up to Takeda-sensei and asked when he recovered from the shock. The team looked at Hinata in surprise and then a bit of sympathy.
"This is All-Japan Youth we're talking about here." Tsukishima in a voice as if he was talking to an idiot. Well, he was talking to an idiot. "A-L-L J-A-P-A-N. Do you even understand what that means?"
"Of course I do!" Hinata yelled back. How could he not. It was every serious volleyball player's goal.
Takeda-sensei rubbed the back of his head. "Well the only invitation was for Kageyama."
Tsukishima smirked. "Looks like Kageyama will be going on ahead."
Hinata frowned as disappointment, anger, and frustration raged inside him. Just one more thing to prove how right Kageyama's mother had been the other day. He bit his lip in frustration. Nishinoya and Tanaka came over messing up Hinata's hair as they teased him and tried to lighten his mood. It didn't help much.
"Alright, listen up." Takeda-sensei said. "I have one more announcement to make. Overlapping the training camp for Youth Japan will be an exclusive training camp held for all promising first years of Miyagi prefecture. The camp is only open to first years but it can be seen as an imitation Youth camp. One member from Karasuno has received an invite." Hinata stared on edge, it had to be him right? It had to be. "Tsukishima-kun, congratulations!"
"That's amazing Tsukki… that makes you one of the top first years in our prefecture." Yamaguchi shouted happily.
"Training camp…" Tsukishima groaned. That meant more work.
With those two announcements the whole team was making a ruckus. There were congratulations all around as the team crowded the two. No one really noticed when Hinata slipped out the door. He walked around the back side of the gym and plopped down on the ground in a heap of emotion. What was it that made Kageyama and Tsukishima so much better than the rest of them? He just didn't understand it. He tried much harder than Tsukishima ever did to train and get stronger and he tried just as hard as Kageyama. So what was it he was missing? Hinata exhaled. Kageyama really was leaps and bounds ahead of him. There was no getting around that. He had known that from the very moment they had met. But it didn't mean he wanted to accept it.
"Arghhh." He shouted in frustration as he flopped onto his back and stared at the sky. It would be so much easier to accept if they hadn't mated. He would be free to feel like this and hate Kageyama for being better than him. But he couldn't hate Kageyama. He had seen and felt everything that Kageyama was and just how passionate he was about volleyball. If anyone deserved to go to All Japan Youth it was his mate Kageyama. When he thought about it that way it deflated everything in him and that was where the problem was. Before they had mated and before his crush on Kageyama he had used his anger and frustration at the genius setter as motivation and the larger the gap the more it motivated him. He wanted to be better than Kageyama someday and those feeling drove him forward when things got tough. After they mated those feeling turned into something else. Instead of wanting to be better than Kageyama he wanted to be equal and prove to his mate that he deserved to be right by his side.
Kageyama hadn't understood that until after the huge fight they had but the point was he understood it now, and that was what mattered. Now Hinata wasn't sure what to do with his feelings. He wasn't sure which way he was supposed to go or how he was going to respond to this new development. He felt like his motivation had been ripped right out from under him and he wasn't sure how to start it back up again. Hinata sighed when he felt his watch vibrate against his ankle.
Oi, where the hell did you go dumbass. Kageyama's voice rang in his head, annoyance clear in the tone. Hinata really needed a few more minutes apart but that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't in the mood to get triggered.
I'm out behind the gym. Hinata answered. There was no effort to move or get up so Hinata simply beckoned Kageyama to him through their bond by giving it a slight tug. He didn't know if Kageyama would understand but Hinata hoped he did. Sure enough within minutes Kageyama walked up next to him popping his head into Hinata's field of view. He could feel the cautiousness coming from Kageyama over there bond. Seemed his mate finally caught on to the storm happening inside of him.
"Care to share?" Kageyama asked as he gazed down at his mate sprawled on the ground.
"No." Hinata shot back in a clipped tone. He wasn't ready to share yet. He hadn't even finished sorting it out himself so it wouldn't do Kageyama any good to get mixed up in his wishy washy feelings. Kageyama watched his mate for another moment or two and then moved lay next to him and gaze at the sky. For a long while neither of them said anything but the silence couldn't go on forever.
"You should go anyways." Kageyama muttered softly.
"What do you mean?" Hinata breathed out, a lack of caring very evident in his tone.
"To the Miyagi training camp. You should go. You may not have gotten an invitation but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to go. So go… don't take no for an answer." Hinata turned his head towards Kageyama in astonishment.
"Are you really telling me to crash the training camp?" Kageyama simply nodded. "You know that won't go over well." Hinata remarked.
"I really don't care if it goes over well or not. You should go." Kageyama glanced at Hinata and then back at the sky. "If anything it will light a fire under Tsukishima's ass and maybe he'll actually try. Besides, what if they say yes? You'd get in a lot of useful training. Hell even if you're just the ball boy you could learn a lot just by watching them."
Hinata smirked. "Ball boy, huh?" That would be interesting. He didn't see it much as helpful training but if they let him stick around then that had to mean something right?
"You're not useless so go over there and show them. Show them everything you've learned in the last six months and show them just how wrong they were not to invite you." Kageyama slid his hand into Hinata's and laced their fingers together. He knew his advice probably wasn't the best advice for this situation. As a teammate a friend and a setter he would never suggest such a thing, but as a mate he knew that this was the right thing to say. Right now, and since the fight with his mother, Hinata needed a mate who was behind him every step of the way.
Before they had mated Hinata had been strong and determined to get to the top. Even though he sucked and he knew he sucked he didn't let it drag him down. And he still saw that from Hinata when the others were around. But now that he could see inside Hinata's head and feel what was inside Hinata's heart he could tell that that had never been the case. Hinata was still determined and motivated to aim for his goals and what he wanted but he was constantly filled with self-doubt and plagued by his inadequacies. He put on a brave face for others. Kageyama had thought nothing ever phased him so he had carelessly thrown out insults. At first he had thought it helped Hinata, he always seemed more determined to get better when Kageyama told him just how much he sucked. And to some extent it did. It drove Hinata to prove that he could do it all better. But some of that berating had remained with Hinata deep down inside him, only adding to the bouts of self-doubt that would come up every so often. More so than not lately thanks to Kageyama's mother.
Perhaps this training camp would be the key to get Hinata back to his old self, riled up with determination and motivation when people challenged his skills on the court and his usefulness as a teammate. If Hinata went and got a chance to play there is no way the others wouldn't see the potential Kageyama did. Hinata was rough around the edges and he sucked at the basics but he didn't have any bad habits and he wasn't doing anything wrong per say. He just lacked experience and practice. If they refined his basics he'd be one of the strongest player on the team and he wished he could get Hinata to see that. But Kageyama couldn't just tell him that. Hinata needed to discover it for himself to get rid of any doubt or misconception he had inside himself. Then it wouldn't matter what Kageyama's mother said or thought, it wouldn't matter what anyone said or thought.
Hinata sighed. "Won't I get into a lot of trouble doing that?" He asked finally looking over at Kageyama.
"What's the worst they can do?" Kageyama returned.
"I don't know, call the police?" Hinata questioned as if he were unsure.
"I doubt they'll take it that far. Maybe, suspend you from school for the week?"
"What if they suspend me from club activities?" Hinata said in a rather horrified tone. That would make things even worse than not going at all.
"Then go bug old Coach Ukai. Beg him for more lessons. And if that fails ask your mom to bring you to Tokyo. You can stay with me and watch our practices."
"Yeah somehow I don't see that happening." Hinata chuckled.
Kageyama shrugged and then sat up. After a moment or two he stood and offered Hinata his hand to pull him up. Hinata took it and stood, letting Kageyama drag him back into the gym for practice. He wasn't completely recovered but he felt much better. It was nice to know Kageyama was behind him and would support him even if he did something crazy stupid like crashing the training camp for Miyagi prefecture.
The rest of practice went fairly well until they got to the end and Takeda-sensei handed Kageyama a permission slip for his parents to sign.
Kageyama frowned as he looked up at Takeda-sensei. "Is it okay if Hinata's parents sign it?" He asked in hope. He hadn't been back to his house since the fight earlier that week and he wasn't ready to go back, even if it was just to get a permission slip signed for volleyball. He wasn't ready to see his mother again, he was still angry at her and he hadn't figured out how to deal with that yet.
"I'm sorry but it has to be your parents. We don't need it tomorrow but we will need it by next week so I can fax it in with all the rest of the paperwork for the trip." Takeda-sensei answered. Kageyama cursed in his head. He tucked the paper in his bag when they got back to the changing room not wanting to think about it. He had enough going on and Takeda-sensei did say that he wouldn't need it until next week. Perhaps he would have Hinata go home by himself, he'd get the paper signed by his dad and then ride the bus back to Hinata's. He didn't want Hinata at his house or around his mother. He was already struggling to keep Hinata's spirits up and he didn't want to deal with the whole issue until Hinata was more stable and had his confidence back. He sighed. Damnit why did things always happen at the most inopportune time?
When they finished changing they headed out for the evening, saying goodbye to the rest of the team. They held hands most of the way home only letting go to get on and off the bus. When they got back to Hinata's house that evening no one was home but they were in for another surprise. When they walked into Hinata's room Hinata's mouth dropped open in surprise. Hinata's room was completely different. Not only was his room completely clean, his mother had rearranged everything. But most important was a second almost identical dresser sat next to Hinata's, Kageyama's new knee pads sitting on top designating that it was his. But what caught his attention the most was that Hinata's bed was moved to the opposite wall. Only it wasn't his bed. Instead of the small single bed he had before it was now a double bed, big enough to fit the both of them on it comfortably.
Hinata blushed. So this was why his mom had stopped by the furniture store. So she really had meant it when she said that they could… Hinata put his face in his hands. This was so embarrassing.
Well, Kageyama sure hadn't expected this, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't grateful. Hinata's parents weren't just saying they accepted that he and Hinata were mated, they were showing it as well. It was gestures like these that had Kageyama realizing how much their acceptance meant to the both of them. But he did agree with Hinata about this one. It was way embarrassing. Besides, a teenagers parents giving their child full permission to have as much sex as he wanted, mated or not, and then provide that teenager with a bed big enough for said activities was not something that you'd expect. It was going to be embarrassing just to sleep on that bed together let alone do anything else in it for a while. But if he thought about it maybe that had been the point of it all. They were allowed to do such things but that didn't mean Hinata's parents would do nothing to dissuade them from such activities. Kageyama smirked. Well played, he thought as he put his stuff down and turned to Hinata.
"Let's test it out." Kageyama said grabbing Hinata's hand and pulling him towards the bed.
"What?!" Hinata exclaimed as he pulled back against Kageyama. Was Kageyama really suggesting that they have sex right now? There was no way he wanted that. He wasn't in the mood to begin with, thanks to today's earlier announcements, and he wasn't sure he could get over his embarrassment that fast either. What was his mate thinking?
Kageyama could feel Hinata's aversion through their bond and he understood. He didn't want to have sex either but he did want to touch and be connected with Hinata for a bit. He also knew that if they didn't get over their embarrassment quickly then it might never go away. It would be a shame to waste such a perfectly good bed.
"Cuddle with me." Kageyama said as he pulled Hinata with more force towards the bed. "It's been a long day for both of us and I think we could both use time to just touch." Kageyama tried to explain but knew he wasn't doing a very good job of it. He was surprised when Hinata stopped pulling against him and followed him to the bed. Had he really made himself understood?
"Just cuddling?" Hinata asked to make sure. When Kageyama nodded Hinata relaxed. That actually sounded good to him. It sounded right. He crawled into bed curling up in Kageyama's arms. He sighed and smiled in contentment. Yeah, this is exactly what he needed.
He thought through everything that had happened recently. So much had changed for both of them. So much had changed between them as well. But things were finally starting to settle in for them. It had taken quite a few months for them to figure it all out and now he understood what the doc had been talking about when he said that he wished all fate mates had time to figure things out before the media hounded them.
Hinata knew he had been more emotional since they had mated. He wondered if that was a side effect of mating. Every once in a great while he would struggle with feelings of doubt and low self-esteem but it had been happening a lot more recently. The problem was, it wasn't just about volleyball. He was struggling with who he was as a person and that was probably what made it harder to deal with. He had always been sure of who he was and where he was headed until he mated with Kageyama. When that had happened his whole world felt like it had been turned upside down. There were a lot of bad things about it, right now the bad was mostly dealing with Kageyama's mother, but there were also a lot of good things about it as well. He just needed to get back on track and perhaps he could use the training camp to do that. Kageyama would be gone, dealing with what was in front of him in Tokyo. That meant Hinata could focus on himself for a bit and not worry about Kageyama wading through it with him. That would help tremendously. He didn't like dragging Kageyama down with him and that made him avoid dealing with things the way he used to, immediately and without thought.
By the time he'd worked through a good deal of thoughts and feelings Kageyama was asleep underneath him. Hinata brought a hand up to brush it through Kageyama's hair tenderly. Kageyama had been nothing but wonderful to him. It was about time that he started pulling his own weight in all of this. No more of this wimpy wishy washy kid who cried at the things people said to him. He was going to make the most of the training camp coming up in a couple months and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He needed this, if not as a volleyball player then as a person.
Hinata smiled when Kageyama nuzzled against his hand in his sleep. He was so lucky to have Kageyama.