A/N: (bows) Hello there, everyone. Thank you for all of your patience with this story so far, as well as your reviews and following/favoriting this story. At least it only took me about a month this time, right? Okay, okay, I know the real prize here isn't the amount of time it took me to update. The chapter itself however is over 4,000 words! Now before we get this chapter underway, there are a few things that I think I need to state plainly for future reference. I apologize for not mentioning these things earlier but since I know what's going on in my own head I honestly forgot to consider that no one else would. The first one being that this story is set in the original anime's universe, I've only seen the first rebuild movie, part of the second, and only read about the third. This means that any and all concepts in the movies will not be intentionally included here because I don't know them that well. I hope to write a fanfiction about the movies sometime in the future when I know them as well as I do the original series. If you don't know the anime series I recommend it. :) Something else that you can do (and I know that this sounds like self=promotion, I'm really sorry) is to read 'A 'What if' of Mine' because it actually is the prequel to this story. You don't have to, it's only if you want a little more fluff and some clarification. The next point will hopefully be mentioned in the story, but I am going to state it here plainly as a full explanation in case it comes out disjointed or hard to follow. In this fiction, Rei didn't die when she self-destructed Unit-00. She was found badly injured and they had to replace some of her organs and/or limbs with ones from the other clones. So Shinji still sees the tank full of Reis and watches them get blown to pieces, but Rei hasn't lost all of her memories and progress as a person. That's everything I can think of right now, if any other points come up I will be sure to mention them in these notes. I'm really sorry for spamming you with all of that, but it does hold importance. (bows)

Disclaimer: If GAINAX calls me up tomorrow and asks for the rights to turn this fanfiction into an anime for the series then that will be the closest to ownership that I get.

The Space Left Behind

Sunday was spent mostly in bed.

Shinji laid in Kaworu's arms and listened as the Fifth Child talked to him about different topics. It was mostly light hearted silly things like children's stories, but Shinji loved it dearly.

Sundays at Whistling Winds bakery were usually slow. So this particular Sunday the boys had been given off. And considering the events of last night the silver-haired angel felt the downtime was necessary.

For the moment they were quiet. Pale fingers affectionately combed through brown hair as Shinji thought about what to say next. Everything was calm and relaxed. It made Shinji feel more confident when he spoke. "Do you remember when you said you were born to meet me?" He asked.

Kaworu answered with a nod of his head. "I mean it." Not 'meant' because the words still held true. He'd say it again if the Third Child wanted, as often as he liked.

The brunet was happy to hear that. That had probably been the single most important night of his life so far. "I think – I mean, I'm pretty sure," He stumbled with his words a little as nervousness began to find its' way back into his chest. "th-that I was born to meet you, too." He fidgeted with the bed sheet awkwardly, hesitant to look directly at the red eyes in front of him.

A smile touched the Fifth Child's lips. He wound his arms a little tighter around the lilim boy, bringing him closer. "Thank you." Kaworu whispered into the shell of the other's ear. "It makes me happy to hear you say that."

Despite the faint blush warming his face, Shinji felt nothing but happiness spreading throughout his chest and all the way to his fingertips. It was a wonderful feeling. Yesterday's panic attack was a memory that kept getting fainter by the second; it was almost like it had never happened.

Shinji lifted a hand and traced his fingers over Kaworu's upper arm to his shoulder and across his collar bone. The Third Child lingered there a moment before letting the slim digits travel up the pale column of the other's neck and seek out his pulse.

The angel accepted the soft touch happily. He could feel his own blood pumping underneath the pads of Shinji's fingers, said brunet had a look of wonder and fascination on his face.

Kaworu smiled as some stray strands of silver hair fell into his eyes. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Shinji blinked owlishly, confusion evident.

"Life." The Fifth Child explained with a chuckle. "When God created people he made them soft and warm with a heartbeat. It's a wonderful gift to know that if we ever feel lost or begin to question if we're really alive, we can reach out," He moved one of his hands from its resting place at the ex-pilot's back and pressed it gently to the left side of Shinji's chest. "and feel the proof for ourselves."

The sense of awe came back over the blue-eyed boy's features. "That's amazing!" He exclaimed. "I can feel you living right now…" He could feel his own heartbeat against the palm of the angel's hand, as well as its' warmth.

"It's one of the reasons living creatures seek out physical contact, especially lilim." Kaworu moved to straddle the ex-pilot's waist, not disturbing their hands as he did so. "Feeling connected to someone else counteracts other feelings of isolation and loneliness." The silveret leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "Perhaps loneliness is part of how lilim connect so deeply to one another. Does that make me selfish for not wanting you to feel alone?" He murmured.

Shinji flushed pink at the words. "No. I don't want you to feel lonely, either." He closed his eyes and tried to match his breathing with that of the angel on top of him. Maybe if he was still enough he would be able to feel everyone in the world living around him.

Warm lips pressed against his and he disregarded the thought. This closeness was special; he only wanted Kaworu to be this close to him.

Kensuke stared at the ceiling of his tent, his hands behind his head as he laid on the ground. There were still a few cicadas chirping outside.

'The ecosystem is returning to its' former state. – That's what Miss Misato said.'

Shinji was MIA. He had tried asking Misato about it but she had avoided him and said that Shinji and the other pilots were busy at NERV. Kensuke's father's records said nothing to the contrary so he and Touji had been willing believe that for a while.

But Saturday Rei and Asuka had come back to school for the half day.

Shinji hadn't.

He and Toji had asked the First Child about him but she said she wasn't allowed to tell them anything.

He could only imagine how worried Toji was after hearing that. Kensuke, himself, was only too aware of what Rei's answer meant. The whole issue must have been classified. So Shinji was probably dead, badly injured, or discovered something that he wasn't supposed to know. Possibilities numbers one and three were the worst. If Shinji had uncovered something they had probably killed him already and if he died or been injured in some other way it might be related to an experiment of some kind.

Kensuke honestly hoped that Shinji was injured, or else AWOL and that nobody knew where he was. That left good odds of the brunet still being alive.

"Shinji, don't die on us. Toji'd never get over it. I don't think I would, either." Kensuke had spent from the time he could toddle playing war. The fear of being shot in the head by an imaginary sniper was easier to deal with than the fear of the earth dying all around you. He'd take imminent danger over waiting for a slow and only potential end any day.

And because life was cruel, he was stuck in a situation that was both a reality of war and something he hated. "No use killing myself by stressing over something I can't control." Kensuke rolled over and shut his eyes firmly. Tomorrow he would go with Toji to see if they could find Shinji listed in any of the hospitals in Tokyo-3. Right now, he needed sleep.

Rei absently listened to the television that was in the other room as she finished making supper. Misato was going to be late again and Asuka was in the living room with Pen-Pen watching her soap opera.

The First Child didn't really understand what the red-head saw in shows like that. It might have been because this particular program tended to have characters speaking in German. After everything that had happened, Asuka probably found it comforting.

Rei wondered if she should start learning how to speak German herself as she turned off her instant ramen and dished up curry onto two plates. One plate she set off to the side for Asuka, the other she covered in plastic wrap and put in the fridge. The silvery-blue haired girl wrote down that the food was in the refrigerator, how long to heat it for, and not to forget to take the plastic wrap off, before using a smiley face magnet to put the note on the refrigerator door for Misato.

'I think you'll make a good mother, Ayanami.'

Red eyes blinked as she remembered those words. This definitely wasn't what Shinji had meant when he'd said that. But it was a very motherly thing to be doing, wasn't it? Yui Ikari would have done something like this, wouldn't she? Rei wondered if Shinji would say something like that to her again when he came back.

Yes, 'when'. There was no room for 'if'.

She put the leftover curry into Pen-Pen's bowl before taking Asuka's and her own food out to the living room.

The red-head was sitting on the living room floor, eyes glued to the TV, and Pen-Pen sitting on her lap. She raised her head at the sound of the other girl's footsteps. She locked eyes with Rei but didn't say anything.

The First Child handed Asuka her plate. "Here." She said. Crimson eyes then shifted to look at the hot springs penguin. "I left yours in the kitchen."

Pen-Pen gave a squawk of acknowledgement and got off the German girl's lap to go get his own supper.

Rei watched the penguin go before sitting down next to Asuka, who had already gone back to watching her show. The silver-haired girl wasn't really interested in the program but she kept her eyes on the screen as she ate.

Another line was said in German and the red-head scoffed. "Dumpkoff." She muttered.

"What is it?" Rei asked perplexed. If the man in the show had done something stupid she had no idea what it was.

The Second Child rolled her eyes and fixed a stare on the First. She repeated the line the man had just said. "It's wrong. It should be –" Then she said it again, but this time it sounded different. "Really, what business do they have writing the show if they can't get the language right? – It's an insult!" She put a spoonful of curry in her mouth in an irritated fashion.

Rei repeated the phrase that the other girl had said was correct slowly. The words felt funny on her tongue, strange and foreign. As far as pronunciation went she was sure she must have had a thick accent, but it was enough to get Asuka's attention.

Light blue eyes came to rest on the pale girl's frame again. "No, Wonder Girl. Like this –" She repeated the line, this time saying it a bit slower.

Rei mimicked the red-head, paying special attention to the way her lips should move as that and the sound were all she had to go on.

They repeated this process several times before the Second Child made a satisfied sound in her throat and turned back to the TV. "It still sounds terrible but it's good enough for now." An increase in the volume on the television signaled the end of the conversation.

The other girl blinked and felt the beginnings of a smile on her lips. It looked as if she would be learning German, after all. "It's time for bed." She said after a while when the credits were rolling on the TV.

Asuka turned the power off and stood up. She went straight to her bedroom, resolutely not looking at stupid missing Shinji's door as she passed it.

Rei gathered up the dishes that she had been left to deal with. It would be for the best if she washed them tonight. There was never enough time for things like that in the morning before school. Besides, it would give the German girl time to change into her sleep clothes seeing as she didn't like having anyone in her room when she did.

Once the dishes were set to dry the First Child made her way to the shared room. "Asuka. I'm coming in." When no sound of protest followed, Rei opened the door.

The lights were already off and Asuka was laying on half the futon, facing the wall.

The silvery-haired girl changed into the PJs she was borrowing from the other and climbed under the covers.

"You need to develop a sense of modesty, Wonder Girl." Asuka's voice floated back to the other occupant of the room. "Not everyone has my high morals and won't peep."

Rei dismissed the sharp words as a sign that the red-head was starting to come back to her old self. For a few days right after her release from the hospital she had made Rei seem talkative. Maybe seeing Hikari at school had uplifted her mood? One could only hope.

"Goodnight Asuka."

Kaworu tapped his fingers on the counter to the tune of 'Fly Me to the Moon' that was playing throughout the bakery. It wasn't the original by Frank Sinatra but a cover by a female vocalist that was quite pleasing on the ears.

The store had just opened for the day so there weren't any customers yet. Sally was manning the cash register, Kaworu was at the counter, and Shinji was sweeping the floor.

The black ear buds were almost unnoticeable from where the brunet was standing. He kept his eyes mostly focused on his work, occasionally glancing over at the other two.

Shinji was still a little unnerved and wasn't up to being overly social. The only person he had spoken to so far today was Kaworu.

Sally had just smiled and said nothing about it. She was perfectly willing to let the boy do whatever it was he needed for his own sake. He would be more social when he was ready.

Just then the bell jingled and an elderly man with a kind face walked in the door. When his eyes met with Mrs. White's he smiled. "Sally, you keep looking more beautiful by the day. When are you going to elope with me?" He said fondly.

Kaworu was thoroughly confused by this statement and glanced from Shinji, to the man, to his boss.

The woman laughed, happy with the greeting. "Benjamin," She paused to catch her breath. "you know you can only marry me once and you already have." Her voice held a teasing note as she spoke.

Her husband replied without missing a beat. "That's the only problem I can find with marrying you – I can only do it once."

"Flatterer."
Shinji looked over helplessly in Kaworu's direction hoping for an explanation. There had been too much too fast for him to have any idea what was going on.

Before the angel could say anything, Benjamin spoke. "You must be Kaworu. Sally talks about you boys quite a bit at home." He walked over to the ex-Eva pilot who was still standing out of the way and greeted him in clear Japanese. "You're Shinji, aren't you? I'm Benjamin, Sally's husband. It's nice to meet you."

Both boys were momentarily stunned by the introduction. Shinji recovered and reached to take the ear buds out of his ears. "I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you." He voiced hesitantly.

The elderly man chuckled. "It's fine. Music is good for the soul. Do you play?"

The question caught the blue-eyed boy off guard. "Cello. But…" He couldn't keep eye contact with the man and let his gaze settle on the floor. "… I don't have one right now…" He said quietly, his right hand opening and closing by his side as he spoke. They had been in a big hurry that night and as a consequence had barely taken anything with them. Instruments were big and drew attention so his cello and Kaworu's violin had been among the things that had been left behind.

Benjamin's voice was warm and gentle with his nest words. "That's alright. Things will turn out and you'll be playing again."

While the two of them were caught up in their conversation, Sally addressed the angel at the counter with her. "Some time before the Second Impact when we were young, Benjamin spent a few years in Japan working as a therapist of sorts for teens that had been through traumatic and semi-traumatic experiences. I've told him a lot about you two, and now that we have some things settled, Benjamin's going to be working at the bakery again."

The Fifth Child nodded; listening to everything he was told. A therapist? Maybe talking to Benjamin would do Shinji some good. Even if they couldn't discus their lives in Tokyo-3 in detail, the elderly man's field was traumatized teens so he should be able to do something to help the brunet.

After another couple of minutes the Third Child walked back over to the angel and went through the motions of wiping down the already-clean counter. Benjamin was a very kind and understanding person, but right now Shinji needed a little space so he could fully digest their conversation. It made him happy, though. He was surrounded by people who were kind to him for seemingly no other reason than he was there to be kind to.

Kaworu wrapped his arms around the lilim boy's slim shoulders and watched him for s moment before speaking into his ear. "Do you want to help me stock the shelves?" He asked softly into the shell of the other's ear.

A blush crept down the boy's neck when he felt the warm breath tickle his ear. "U-um s-sure." It was moments like this that made Shinji wonder what the silver-haired boy had said when he introduced them both two weeks ago. It certainly must have been something to make contact like this go without comment.

While the boys were thus occupied, Sally and Benjamin shared a look and smiled but said nothing, opting instead to take care of some other tasks around the bakery.

The morning passed with the expected flow of customers, most of them being people on their way to work. Those that were regulars at the Whistling Winds made sure to speak to Benjamin and welcome him back to the bakery. One such customer was Anne.

"Hey, old timer." The young woman said as she walked into the shop. "I haven't seen you around here in a while." She smiled and walked over to the two ex-Evangelion pilots at the counter. "Could you sweethearts get me a loaf of French bread and a sweet roll?"

Benjamin chuckled at Anne's greeting. "I'm just getting back up to speed, hot shot. Nothing to worry about."

During this exchange the boys were getting the requested goods. The Third Child had no trouble getting the sweet roll Anne had pointed to in the case.

Kaworu's luck with the ladder when he got the loaf of bread from a high shelf was… not as good.

On his way down he scratched the palm of his left hand on the ladder. The Fifth Child winced and got down. He made sure not to touch the loaf with his injured hand and gave it to Anne, closing said hand into a loose fist at his side.

The woman gave her thanks and said a few more words before remembering that she had to get going. "See you later!" She called as the door closed behind her, receipt still sticking out of the cash register.

"Really," Sally said with a sigh and a fond smile. "that girl never changes." She took the slip of paper and dropped it into the waste basket.

Shinji's eyes lingered on the door where Anne had made her exit from for a few long seconds. Not speaking the same language as almost everyone else meant that he caught himself noticing things a bit differently. He had no idea what was going on most of the time and that alone was scary, but some people just had a way of talking and acting that conveyed a general message without words.

Anne was always full of energy – but not in a bad way. She just didn't seem to be very adept at sitting still.

When the brunet turned to ask the other boy what had happened, he saw the red fluid that was running down pale skin… "Kaworu, you're bleeding!"

The exclamation startled the angel, but he barely had time to acknowledge it before Shinji grabbed his wrist. Kaworu's hand opened easily and he watched the other with worried eyes.

Benjamin's head snapped in the boys' direction at the outburst. He saw the blood that Shinji had talked about as well as the way he was reacting. "Sally, get the first aide kit." He said, already on his way over.

Sally didn't even need to ask. In the time that the boys had worked there she had never heard either of them come that close to screaming. Especially not Shinji.

The Third Child tried to stay calm as his breath came out too fast and shallow. But Kaworu was bleeding and there was just so much of it. He took the corner of his shirt and pressed it to the open palm, the blood seeped through the fabric and onto the boy's own hand. He could feel himself starting to shake as his breathing got worse.

Kaworu opened his mouth to say something but Benjamin came over.

"Come on, boys." He said, looking between the two of them. "Let's get Kaworu somewhere he can sit down so Sally can look at that hand."

The elderly managed to guide Shinji to a spot on the floor next to the Fifth Child's chair and keep him from hyperventilating.

During all of this, Shinji clung to the silveret's uninjured hand with both of his own like a lifeline. He could hear Benjamin talking to him about something unrelated, the calmness of the man's voice helped to steady his nerves. But in truth, his mind was still on Kaworu. Seeing the angel like that – it was just too much. Too much like piloting an Eva. Too much like almost killing Toji.

"There we go." Sally said at last, securing the gauze to the pale hand. "It was just a scratch but it certainly did bleed." She started to put the bandages and disinfectant back into the first aid kit. It was always those little scratches that seemed to bleed the most.

The silver-haired boy looked over to his lady boss' handiwork and smiled. "Thank you." Then his complete attention went back to Shinji. The boy still sat beside him, holding his uninjured hand and keeping his gaze on the floor.

The red-eyed teen placed his other hand over one of the Third Child's own to get his attention.

Shinji lifted his head up suddenly at the unexpected contact. Blue eyes swiftly darted from the bandaged hand atop his own to the angel's face. His gaze held the question that he was still unable to convey vocally.

Kaworu smiled reassuringly. "I'm fine." He said. "It's just a scratch."

"But-" The brunet blurted worriedly. "but…" …all that blood…

The Fifth Child easily caught what the other bot was getting at. His expression changed to something a little concerned but still very reassuring. "Shinji…" He got out of the chair and sat down next to the young teen, wrapping his arms around the small body. "don't worry. It's alright." He spoke softly and warmly, holding the lilim boy close.

Shinji let his head rest on the silveret's shoulder as he began to truly calm down. He could feel Kaworu's heart beating steadily against his own body. Blue eyes closed slowly, now that the fear and panic had passed the Third Child felt drained – like a wrung out washcloth. His hands loosely gripped the fabric of the other's shirt as they sat there.

"Thank goodness that's over." Sally murmured to her husband. "Those boys had me worried." She gave a relieved sigh, freezing mid-breath at the look on her spouse's face.

Benjamin was wearing a grim, serious look. It was an expression that she had only ever seen scarcely in all the time that they had known each other, most often when the subject of his work in Japan came up. This couldn't be good.

"Ben?" Sally asked tentatively, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"This is worse than I thought." The elderly man mumbled, more to himself than to his wife. 'Just what on earth happened? To both those boys?' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about it. When Benjamin opened his eyes again, he gave the woman beside him an easy-going smile. "You're right Sally, thank goodness. Let's keep them off the ladders for today while I figure out how that scratch happened."

Sally slid her hand off of her husband's shoulder and nodded. They could talk about this later, right now she needed to help Shinji wash the blood out of his shirt before it stained.

The bell tinkled as Kaworu and Shinji said their goodbyes before leaving the shop at the end of the day. The weather was pleasant, a faint breeze would blow from time-to-time and the sun hadn't set yet.

They walked at a leisurely pace to the grocery store.

The brunet felt the angel walking beside him shift the way that their hands were clasped so their fingers threaded together. The Third Child flushed but said nothing about it. He was too full of the calm around him to say anything just then.

"It feels nice." Kaworu spoke softly as a gust of wind ruffled his hair.

The Third Child was captivated by the sight of the other so that it took him a moment to find his voice. "M-mm." The lilim boy tilted his head upwards. The sky was calm, still more blue than red, with only a few clouds drifting lazily by. "It's hard to believe that the anniversary of the Second Impact is going to be coming up." He said thoughtfully, looking back at the silveret then. It felt too peaceful for something like that to be so nearby but he didn't voice that thought.

The Fifth Child's face changed to a look that Shinji didn't recognize. His expression looked a little like he'd been pinched and his bright red eyes were staring at something far away, something only he could see. "Fifteen years…" His voice sounded far off, too.

The ex-pilot of Unit-01 didn't like that. His grip on the pale hand tightened. "I wasn't even born yet when it happened." The brunet talked quickly and nervously, trying to call Kaworu back to the place next to him.

"I meant me."

Blue eyes blinked. Once. Twice. "Huh?"

Kaworu's red orbs refocused on Shinji. "The anniversary of the Second Impact." He said by way of explanation. "I'll be fifteen then."

It only took a spit second for that tidbit of information to register but to Shinji, it felt like forever for his brain to catch up to him. 'The Second Impact is Kaworu's birthday. His birthday is coming up…' The reaction from there happened just as quickly. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He caught himself half-demanding. "This is a big deal, you know!"

The angel had stopped walking when the other boy had, and was now staring wide-eyed. "I suppose the birth of Tabris is important." He said slowly, still feeling a bit shocked. "SEELE considered the event itself important but the anniversary of it didn't hold any special significance – the 17th angel had already been born."

The brunet lilim shook his head. "That isn't what I meant. It's really important because it's Kaworu's birthday." He looked down suddenly. It was too embarrassing to say the rest while staring the other boy in the face. Shinji's cheeks turned red as he forced the rest out. "Your birthday is special to me. I would never have met you if it hadn't happened." By now his eyes were squeezed shut and he could feel himself blushing up to his ears. He didn't want a world without Kaworu in it, even if that meant the Second Impact. It was selfish, but giving up what he valued never got Shinji anywhere good.

"NERV, the angels, the Second Impact, none of that matters. The only thing that matters to me is Kaworu."

The wide-eyed look didn't leave the Fifth Child's face the entire time his fellow pilot spoke. Just the thought that something like his birthday could mean so much to someone – so much to Shinji – made him unbearably happy. He had always understood that his birth had not caused the lilim any joy, that the price for free will was a certain measure of unhappiness, but now he was being told that he brought joy just because it was him. Not as Tabris the 17th angel, but as Kaworu Nagisa.

Slowly, he smiled. "Thank you, Shinji. That makes me very happy." He said sincerely, brushing his thumb against the younger's hand in hopes of coaxing the other boy to look at him.

The Third Child complied with the silent request, face still fairly pink. "G-good. I want you to be happy." He started to walk again, the hand that was clasping the other's urged the angel to do the same. "We need to finish shopping." They hadn't even started yet, but Shinji was still a bit disoriented from all the new information.

Kaworu made an agreeing hum as he reclaimed his place abreast of the brunet. It was getting late and they still had supper to cook.

End

A/N: Thank you very much for reading. (cheers) I finally got to include Pen-Pen~! (bows) I'm sorry if Asuka, Rei, and Kensuke are OOC. They aren't characters in the series that I understand in a writing sense very well. I know for a fact that I'm taking some pretty big liberties with Kensuke but in order to work things out for later I need to start figuring out just who he is as a person. Also, there is a reason as to why I used some actual words in Shinji's English lesson and did my best to avoid it in Rei's German lesson. The reason being that I don't know Jack Shit about German (pardon my French). I know ten - twenty words max which just isn't enough to cover a segment like that. I'm also a little busy and a lot lazy which means I wasn't about to look up something to use. Well, that and I learned the hard way not to trust Google to give you accurate translations of foreign languages. I site my account name as unflappable proof. I hope that all of you liked this chapter, and will be back next update. Feel free to leave your opinion or not, depending on your mood. Take care of yourselves, and may we meet again next time.