Disclaimer: I don't own anything that I've written. Yep, that's right, I own not even one iota of the below work.
Summary: Harry became disenchanted with Dumbledore, so he works toward enlightenment, and this has several effects on the wizard, but what effects will it have on the world around him.
Authour Note: Alright so this chapter we have a lot of friend making going on, a change in attitude because of the realizations one of the friends has brought on, and I don't know, some OOC characters? I tried my best to write them, especially Luna, but I wasn't sure I got it completely right.
Now the relationship pole on my profile will likely be closing within the next few chapters or so. If you want to give your say for the ship, please do so now, or soon, preferably after you leave me a review telling me how horrible this chapter was because I can't write a good character for the life of me. Currently we have Luna, closely followed by Tom with the Twins running up third place. You can get more exactly numbers on my profile.
Chapter Four: Of Predilection and Disquiet
...
If you truly want to continue escaping from everyday life, you've no other choice but to keep evolving. No matter whether you're aiming higher or lower, and enjoy life for what it is.
As Harry understood the meaning of the Characters words – The world was going to keep moving, keep changing, and if you didn't want to become someone that was mediocre than you needed to change with it. The Potter had chosen to undergo a personal evolution. It wasn't as easy as just choosing that it was what he wanted though, no, he needed an idea or trait, something to actually change himself into.
Thus far, his wish was to be more like the character in beliefs and aims – Did Harry actually want to become even more like the character? To take up their general attitude?
Did that make Harry just as bad as Draco Malfoy – Who'd had just been ripped apart for his imitation of his own father?
"Hello..." A soft voice drifted off from behind Harry, who was currently sat in the library, staring at his book, but not quiet reading it.
Harry turned around, his red eyes meeting silvery blue. Giving the female before him a glance over, recognition rang in his mind. Luna Lovegood, a Ravenclaw from the year below him. Harry didn't know much about her, other than the fact she was considered rather strange in conjunction to being Ginny Weasley's friend at some point. Lifting a questioning brow, Harry stared at her for a moment, wondering what she wanted.
Silence.
They stared at one another for at least a minute, neither speaking, but Harry finding himself feeling almost awkward.
"Was there something that you wanted?" Harry eventually broke and asked.
The girl just gave an almost absent smile, "No, I just wanted to say hello. "
Silence.
"... You're Luna Lovegood right? I'm Harry Potter." The red-eyed boy finally said, for lack of anything else to say, but wanting to break that awkward silence. Most human beings weren't comfortable with silence, although this drifty blonde seemed to be outside of the norm.
"That is my name, nice to meet you." The blonde gave the raven haired boy another smile, but went silent and just stared at him again.
Finally, Harry seemed to gather his wits about him and just give the girl a little smirk, "You're doing that on purpose aren't you?"
"People say that when a conversational partner can't stand for long pauses, thinking that it is awkward, they aren't comfortable in the presence of the one they are conversing with. Am I abnormal?" Lune asked, tilting her head softly to the side, but she didn't look unhappy or offended, rather, beneath those dazed looking eyes was genuine curiosity.
Harry wondered how thinking about changing himself had come to a conversation with such a character, "Normal is conforming to a standard, being the usual, typical, or expected. Who would want to be normal when you could be extraordinary, or weird, but actually interesting. So no, I don't think that you are what could be considered normal, but that's probably a good thing."
The Potter thought better of making note that underneath it all, humans were the same. They were all greedy and mean when pleasantries were stripped from them.
"You don't really believe that." Lune suddenly spoke, but the small smile on her face hadn't faded, "It's nice of you to be so kind though. I came to the library because I thought I could research Umgubular Slashkilters, I wish to help prove the fact Cornelius Fudge has one, you see. He uses it to help make people believe what he says – As it makes people more susceptible to words when it sprays them with gublarkilter – their venom."
Harry felt a bit naked from the way the girl could see him. It wasn't just that though, the fact that the blonde just called him out on his white lie without a second thought, or even a pause. The bit about Umgubular Slashkilters was a bit weird, but that clearly wasn't indicative of the females actual intelligence if she could read the red-eyed boy so naturally.
The unsettling feeling faded and was replaced with interest.
It was one of the first times that Harry could see why the character actually enjoyed humans. Previously, Harry had noted that humans were interesting, an unpredictable race that had truly no written rules. This Luna seemed to defy so many of the norms, and was able to look passed the fronts that people put on – Even the one that Harry himself had been using. A chuckle erupted from Harry without his permission, and he was looking, dare he say it, fondly upon the younger Ravenclaw.
There was an instinct within him to test just how unusual she was, to see if she was different from humans in general – Maybe she wasn't the typical human, lustful and greedy beneath her actions.
He quickly discarded the idea though, passing as it was, because there was a far more interesting way to go about learning more about Luna Lovegood. This was especially true considering the way she helped Harry to discover just want he wanted, "You, Luna Lovegood, are a gift."
Harry closed his text books and stood up, standing right in front of her and gazing into her unfocused eyes, "You've helped me a lot, you see. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next, but this little conversation reminded me of something that pushed my thought process on."
It had, surely enough. Her oddity reminded Harry that humans were all so alike, despite the few exceptions. So why couldn't he be like the character? It wasn't as if anyone would know, especially in the Wizarding World. He could mimic the man to his heart's content, and it was unlikely anyone would ever know. Even if they did, there are what, several billion humans? It could just be a coincidence. This, and the fact that Harry didn't mind being a hypocrite, all made him come to the choice regarding his future demeanor.
"I think we'll be great friends Luna!~" He pressed a kiss to the girls cheek, before packing up to leave.
Luna Lovegood stood there, hand rising to her cheek, and her smile spread ever so slightly wider as she watched the boy she'd helped leave, "I thought that something good might come from this... But I've finally got a friend... I can't wait to tell Daddy."
...
There was a legendary amount of animosity between one Severus Snape and Harry James Potter. Ever since the first year that the two shared the same room, this fact was public knowledge. After the summer, Harry had come to think differently about Snape, not because he thought the made had reason behind his actions in any way, in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Harry came to realize that Professour Snape was just so very human.
Human beings didn't need reason to hate, they just did it as though hatred was something they needed to life. So, Harry let the emotion toward the Professour go, instead, he just thought about what a good example Snape was. That was all the man was to Harry anymore, an example of psychology on the human condition.
Which is why, the third day back at Hogwarts, and Harry having potions class, the raven haired boy went in with his notebook, pen, and other necessary potion supplies, and just sat with a small, almost interested smile on his face. A smile that was quickly spreading into excitement – an excitement that was nearly impossible to hold back, and Harry didn't want to either. One of the best examples that could possibly contribute to the Potter's understanding on humans was coming in the room in only a few more moments –
Bang!
How typical of the Professour to be so over-dramatic!
He swooped into the room after slamming the door open, his robes fluttering behind him. He glared at the students with dark eyes, gliding his gaze over all of them. Those steely eyes softened when over the Slytherin's, darkened when gazing on the Gryffindor's – and wait – There it was! The moment those almost black eyes met Harry's red, the man sneered and curled in hatred.
A corrupted hatred though, because there was something there that almost ruined the moment, the Professour looked nervous beneath it all.
"Mr. Potter, I see you are back, and already treading your rule breaking ways once more. 10 points from Gryffindor, and next time you are in my class, you had better be wearing your or it's detention for you." He sneered out, seeming to push any nervousness aside with relative ease.
Harry decided it was one of the best times to practicing the behavior that he'd been adapting to himself, "Hello Professour~ I almost wish that I could agree with what you are saying. After all, you are a well respected Potions Master, but the school rules don't state anything about uniforms. We aren't required to wear them. Sorry sir, I already checked all the rule books, for your own convenience of course."
The raven haired boy had kept an almost happy smile on his face as he practically teasingly sung out the words. It was something the Potions Master wouldn't appreciate, the young wizard was sure, but it was mildly representative of The Character. The slightly polite, but underhandedly insulting was not only workable, but also preferable to the purely cutting remarks from before.
"Seems you think yourself to know everything, Potter." The man spat out, his expression twisting into something ugly with his anger, "If I can't take off points for you not wearing your uniform, then I'll take them off for you refusing to do as I tell you when I ordered you to wear it. You aren't allowed to disobey your Professours, Potter, not even you."
Snape was quite the Slytherin, the way he quickly found the simplest work around, "Oh, I see what you mean, Professour. Alright, you can give me point deductions and detentions if you want."
Harry certainly wasn't going to start wearing the robes though – Regardless of the punishments that he received. They got in the way, and they were just a subtle reminder that you were separated from your peers. Unlike in other schools, were a uniform was just that, unifying, in Hogwarts it separated the students into different sections. It reinforced a feeling of being different from others – And that wasn't true at all, most of the students were the same on the inside.
Except for the ones that were able to separate themselves. Namely people with some actual intelligence, Hermione, Harry, perhaps Draco Malfoy in a way.
People who managed to have individuality from their House.
Snape however, seemed to miss the underlying tone in Harry. Not surprising, considering just how angry the man had become.
The class itself had been ready for famous witty comebacks from Harry, as he seemed to have something new each year. They were disappointed however, that their entertainment didn't seem to be coming. Very few people even realized that what Harry did was more effective than those remarks.
Harry didn't even finish his Potion that class, finding observing Snape to be far more interesting.
...
"You and Moody seem to have put Snape in a right foul mood." Ron muttered as the trio made their way to their first DADA class together.
Harry couldn't resist the practically delighted grin that spread across his face, "Our dear Professour doesn't have a very thick skin, does he?~" Harry paused for a moment, putting on an almost theatrically thoughtful look, "Still, the interactions between him and Moody are extremely interesting. It could be attributed to petty jealously, but if I'm being honest, it seems like Moody is the one that is escalating their disagreements, not Snape. Not that Snape doesn't give as good as he gets."
"Snape is just jealous of Moody for taking away the DADA position." Ron disagreed, giving Harry a weird expression, almost as though wondering why such a simple explanation didn't occur to his friend.
Hermione took this chance to jump in, "It's Professour Snape, and I think Harry is right."
"Of course you do."
Harry could practically hear Ron's eyes role as he spoke those words.
"It's more than simple jealousy, just think about it a bit more. First year, Snape didn't go after Quirrell because of the DADA position, it was because of Voldemort. Second year, our dear Professour went after Lockhart because the man was an incompetent. Third year you could say that Snape went after Lupin, but that wasn't about the DADA position, it was more personal." Harry explained, his voice almost cheerful, and his steps practically skips.
Now both of his friends were looking at him in confusion – Not over the explanation, which was simple enough, but about their friends behavior. Both thinking better than to mention it, knowing that Harry's good moods tended to be temperamental at best.
The three made it to the Defense classroom and noted the almost abnormal set up the room had. Instead of tables or desks, there were just chairs. The only surface in the room was the Professour's desk, which was notably barren. Hermione, Ron, and Harry picked chairs that were next to each other, and at the front of the room. It made Harry uncomfortable, having his back exposed as it was, knowing that Moody had something against the red-eyed boy, but he pushed it aside.
Scant moments later, Moody entered the room, his wooden leg visible under his robes.
Harry noticed that there were several students getting their books out, despite the fact that there were no desks. Were the context clues not enough for them?
Surely though, "You can put those away, you won't be needing those books." Moody growled, his magical eye rolling it's gaze around the room.
It stopped at Harry for a long pause, but then moved on to the other students as though it didn't happen – Calling out attendance just a moment later.
"I have a note from your competent DADA Professour, he said that this class had a thorough education in Dark Creatures, Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas, Werewolves, Hinkpunks, Grindylows, and the like – Is that correct?"
After he got an affirmative, he went on to explain his thoughts of their current education level more clearly, "You're behind, extremely behind, when it comes to dealing with curses. Instead of teaching about creatures, I'm going to educate you on what wizards to to one another – Since I've only got one year to do this, we've got to do this right."
Harry certainly wasn't expecting the man to stay for longer – No one had for quite a long time. The 'curse' on the position had even made itself a home in history books.
"Having said that, let's get straight into it. Curses come in many different forms – and according to Ministry Regulations – I'm meant to teach you counter curses and leave you with just htat. You aren't meant to learn anything about illegal curses until you're in Sixth Year. Luckily for you, I've got a higher opinion than the Ministry in regards to your ability to deal with stress. After all, you can't defend against something if you don't know a Wizards true capabilities."
He paused for a moment, eye rolling around, "One such capability is seeing just what you are tiring to show your friend, Miss Brown."
What the girl had been showing her friend was a moot point. What really matter was the fact Moody seemed to be able to see through solid objects – An extremely useful ability that Harry would have to keep in mind. He doubted that he would be able to find a way to utilize something like that anytime soon, but that didn't mean he couldn't in the future.
"Now that we are all paying attention, do any of you know which curses are the most highly illegal by Wizarding Law-Enforcement?"
Harry actually didn't know the answer, which was why it surprised him, and sickened him just a little bit, that his red-headed friend did. Sure, Harry loved his friend as much as he could, but the male was rather dimwitted when compared with Harry or Hermione.
"My dad told me 'bout one... The Imperius Curse, I think." Ron answered almost tentatively.
This was actually the first time Harry could remember Ron answering a question in class.
"You're father would know about that one. Yes, the Imperius Curse."
Moody reached behind him, without turning around, and somehow grabbed a spider, it was rather large, and it was a wonder that no one had seen it sneaking around the classroom before. In fact, if Harry was correct, that particular spider was one of Hagrid's pets decadence. Without a seconds pause, Moody's wand was pointed toward the spider and he spoke one word clearly, "Imperio!"
He made the spider do something like a tap dance, and several people burst into laughter, except a few notable exceptions: Draco, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Harry.
Harry in particular found the curse almost disgusting. No, he didn't have anything against the control of spiders, but the wider application needed to be considered. The reason this curse was so forbidden was likely because it could take control of humans. This was something that showcased the worst things that humans were capable of - Taking away the best thing humans were capable of. Freedom of choice, the fact that a human can, in fact, choose for themselves whether to do something or not.
That was Harry's favourite part of human beings, and a spell that could take away one of the few enjoyments he found in humans, was something the Potter found himself irrationally hating.
"You think it's funny, I suppose then, you wouldn't mind if I tried it out on you. Total control of a being, I could have the spider do anything, including kill itself."
Ron continued to warily watch the spider, he almost looked as though he wanted to run out of the room.
"The good news is that the Imperius Curse can be fought against and I will be teaching you how. Of course, it takes a willpower that few are capable of, so overall it's better to just avoid being hit with it if at all possible. Which means that you need to exercise CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" He ended with a loud, jarring exclamation.
Moody went on after that, questioning the next curse, which, Harry was surprised to find Neville know. There seemed to be a deeper reason behind it, considering Neville's reaction to the curse once it was cast upon the spider. Of course, Harry could understand understand a little bit about why seeing this curse in particular could be upsetting, considering the contortions the spiders body went into, but Harry found it more fascinating than revolting. Neville undoubtedly didn't have the same view point.
Harry turned away from his observations to make a little bit of a logic jump. Considering the current curses that they talked about, one that gave absolute control, one that gave absolute pain, the next would be the one that caused absolute death.
The one that seemed to have a single exception.
"Anyone know the last curse – Perhaps you, Potter?" Moody spoke, staring right into Harry's ruby eyes.
Harry waved his hand softly in the air as though to bat away the attention, "That's not nice of you Professour, asking me to recall one of my worse memories without a thought for my mental state. You could have given me a panic attack~"
The almost cheery tone had no place in the current discussion, and it gained a few uneasy looks, but Moody just seemed to study him. Harry found this interesting, because the man seemed almost fascinated by Harry's eyes, unlike before when he seemed to have near hatred and paranoia at the sight.
"Apologies Potter, I should have given more thought to your delicate nature."
"Why thank you Professour~!" Harry retorted quickly, giving the man a happy smile.
Moody gave Harry another look over with his magical eye, before turning back to the lesson as though the little back and forth had never occurred, "Avada Kedavra, the Killing Curse."
Moody turned toward the already traumatized spider, and pointed his want at it, spitting out the words that soon created a sickening green light. The spider fell dead the second the light hit it, the dead spider itself was unmarked, but stiff with death that no one could mistake.
If Harry hated the Imperio Curse for its possibilities against the best of human nature – He feared the Killing Curse. It wasn't uncommon, a fear of death, but Harry was practically petrified at the idea of dying. The uncertainty of it all made him flinch at the sight of a dead and now utterly harmless spider.
Pathetic, that was what it was. A weakness that Harry didn't need, but it was also one that couldn't be avoided, and therefore wouldn't interfere with his goals. There was no need, or way, to get over it.
Through the eerie silence, Moody spoke once again, "Not pleasant is it, and there's no countercurse, no blocking it, and only one person has survived it."
Everyone turned to Harry, who swiftly pulled himself together and rubbed the back of his neck in a clearly mocking-bashful motion.
"All of these curses are likely impossible for you to cast. They need a meaning behind them a powerful emotion that I doubt that a single one of you could muster. In fact, even if you were to attempt to cast the Killing Curse at me, I doubt I would even hack a cough. Still, you need to know, just in case." He paused for a moment in his lecture, "Those three curses are known as the Unforgivable Curses, horrible enough to earn you life in Azkaban. They are so, because none of them can be blocked with a shield, like I said, no countercurse exists for them.
The class went off into note taking, Harry went off to theoretical musings.
It made sense that those particular curses were illegal – but it made more sense when you thought about them in the perspective of human fears. Unblockable curses that were created in a mirrour image of some of the biggest and worst fears there were. The fear of death, pain, and lose of control.
Harry only found two of the personally unacceptable, but the understanding was there.
"Now, I want an essay that accurately explains why you think that these curses had laws made against them with such harsh punishment. I won't give you a length, but I want an well thought out response."
After the homework assignment, the class was released. Most of them were a little bit shaky after the rather dark lesson, Harry was still somewhat sickened by the thought of the Imperious Curse, but he managed to hide it rather well. Neville on the other hand, didn't seem to be having anywhere near as good a luck. He stood, staring at a wall with a horrified wide-eyed look, and it didn't seem to be going anyway anytime soon.
Hermione, ever the wonderful human, walked up to him, "Neville?" She inquired in a gentle manner.
"Oh hello you guys." Neville responded, but clearly shaken and still somewhat out of it, "It was an interesting lesson, wasn't it. That is, I think we should go to dinner now, or maybe the Common Room, or I don't know, somewhere good."
Neville continued to ramble on, when a familiar growly voice spoke out from behind them, "You alright there sonny? Why don't you come up to my office, we can have a cup of tea."
The trio's fellow Gryffindor looked terrified at the idea – Harry didn't particularly blame him. In fact, Harry found it hard to want to be even this close to the man. The idea that he could cast any of those curses at the kids at anytime was somewhat... Daunting.
Despite the new Harry not being all that prone to exuberant amounts of kindness, he found himself stepping in, "Nice to see you again Professour~ And so soon after your lesson as well. I'm going to have to stop you though you see, Neville and me both have a meeting with Professour McGonagall extremely soon, though I assure you, I'd love to allow my friend here to get away from her, I don't think I'd want to deal with her stern face looking at me."
The tone was light – Everything that Harry wasn't actually feeling toward the man he was talking to.
Despite the fact that Harry was telling a downright lie, Neville clang to the words like they were his saving grace – Nodding along frantically.
"Oh, and what's this meeting about, boy?"
Harry could tell that the man didn't believe them, but he also couldn't disapprove of what was being said, which was good enough, "You see, I needed to see McGonagall about the whole 'robe issue' that everyone keeps bringing up. I've told her that I would bring Neville as a character witness, so that she knows I'm not lying about what happened in Professour Snape's classroom."
Ignoring the DADA Professour's narrowed and suspicious eyes, Harry grabbed Neville's hand and drug him along, practically skipping away from the gruff man, and headed in the actual direction of McGonagall's office, knowing that the man could see through surfaces.
"Thank you, Harry." Neville said after they walked a bit, Harry having released his classmates hand just prior. Hermione and Ron had likely headed to supper, rather than follow the lie their friend had made.
Harry gave his classmate a smile, "No problem, Neville."
"If you don't mind me asking, why did you do it?" There was a strange sort of bravery to Neville's voice. Even though he was clearly fearful of asking, more likely about the answer, he still asked.
Harry wondered if that was what he sounded like to other people when he wore his Boy-Who-Lived mask.
"Mostly because, I get it. Being so fearful of being around someone that can cast curses like that ... Just isn't a pleasant thought. I was absolutely horrified and offended when he used that curse in the same room as me." Harry spoke, gesturing as though to explain his thoughts better.
"The Killing Curse... Because of your parents?" Neville asked, although less hesitantly this time.
Harry stood in place, Neville stopped with his fellow and the red-eyed boy just gave the plant lover a dark look, "I could care less about the Killing Curse. I'm afraid of death, but that is a logical fear considering the lack of knowledge on what comes next. What I really dislike is the thought behind the Imperious Curse – The very idea that someone can strip away what is essentially humanities only redeeming quality, is something that I greatly dislike."
Neville seemed confused, Harry felt weirdly inclined to clarify.
"You see, lately, how can I put this simply, I've gained a fondness for humans. By their very nature, human beings are unpredictable, chaotic, and I like that. I simple love the fact that no matter how much I learn, no matter how much of my considerable intelligence I place into learning about humanity, I'll never be able to completely predict them. That's not something I can say about anything else in this world." Harry spoke, his passion was clear in his voice.
Neville looked shocked, almost horrified, and for but a moment Harry could tell that Neville was about to reject Harry on the basis of the weird beliefs Harry had.
Instead, Neville seemed to force the thought down, "I don't really understand but... I guess as long as it makes you happy."
How loyal, how nice, generous, and how utterly human.
"That's exactly it Neville! Just like all the other humans that I am growing fond of, you go and surprise me. Who would have thought you would accept me for my current being, that you would not try to get me to change, or to outright reject me." Harry could feel his mouth stretching in a fully toothed grin, "I think I can trust you Neville. How would you feel about learning the true story of someone named Sirius Black?"
R&R
Should Luna be a Seer? I feel like it would go well with what Harry wants in the future - but we don't want him to get things done TOO easily now do we. Leave me your thoughts and suggestions, I would love to implement a few of them.