BPOV
People have started to judge me because i rely on Edward so much. He understands me though, without asking he will pull me close when he knows i am shutting down. He loves me despite my flaws, and yet people try and keep us apart. I think that's the part that i'm struggling with, that despite my best efforts people can't see what i can about him.
The part of him that even he doesn't understand. That he has such a caring heart and that people have used that against him and hurt him.
I'm promised myself that i will make sure that no one can do that again. I'd never really believed in soulmates before, but he is definitely mine. His family had been so welcoming even from the start it just makes sense, it has almost because like there was space for me all along.
That's the problem when things are going well there is always a storm not far behind.
The first time i ever really spoke to edward, we just clicked right from the beginning. It just seemed to bloom from there we would talk every day, and we understood that when conversations went quiet it wasn't a reflection of the other person we were just content. He used to tell me that i saved him, but he's wrong he came along at the time that i needed him most and he put me back together. Not to say that the cracks don't show every so often.
It just became like any other relationship going on dates, watching movies, and laughing. So much laughter, i used to forget what that sounded like being truly happy and carefree.
It's those moments that you have to appreciate what you have because when it comes down to it, you are either meant for that person. Or they are another part to the puzzle that is your life.
I've been lucky so far i get on well with Edward's family, i feel included for once in my life. I can truly be myself.
He makes me stronger every day, building me up peace by piece, whether or not i completely believe him. I see part of myself in him though he blames himself for things that are out of his control, things that he thinks i will leave him for.
The thing is if i'm honest i don't think anything would make me leave. He has become my life raft, he keeps me afloat when i feel like i'm drowning. I used to go to dark places of spending days just hoping that i can make it to the end. He's just so positive that it's contagious. He always sees when the darkness is coming back, and he keeps me safe.
He's my flashlight, keeps the shadows at bay.
I know people say it's cheesey for a couple to have a song that describes them, but ours explains everything i cannot say.
"Never let someone in
Never got under my skin
Always running for the door
When someone needed something more
And just enough of me
When I'm with you
I'm not afraid to show it all
When I'm with you
I'm not hidding anymore
I let you see inside
Who I am, under these clothes
Every scar all of my flaws
When I'm with you
I'm naked
Don't cover up, turn up the lights
I wanna see, all of you tonight
I'm not holding back
I can't believe that
You're finally letting go
But I've been hurt and burnt before
But when I'm with you
I'm not afraid to show it all
When I'm with you
I'm not hidding anymore
I let you see inside
Who I am, under these clothes
Every scar all of my flaws
When I'm with you
I'm naked
I'm naked
You get the best, the worst
You've seen, all of my heart
When I'm just standing there laid bare
Naked
I can be naked
When I'm with you
I'm not afraid to show it all
When I'm with you
I'm not hiding anymore
I let you see inside
Who I am, under these clothes
Every scar all of my flaws
When I'm with you
I'm naked"
(Naked by the shires)