Heavy chapter. Hope ya'll enjoy!

I sat curled up by my window, twirling the knife that Damon had given me to use during our training sessions between my fingers.

The edge was darkened a little with his blood, the scent of it burned into my senses.

The whole incident had been fine, up until the point where it wasn't.

Being so up close and personal with the man I'd once planned to marry was one thing...but being chest to chest with the male who'd bitten me and risked my life to turn me into a werewolf like him, that was a whole other thing.

Though being that close to Damon physically wasn't what had overwhelmed me.

It was the feeling of absolute submission I felt while lying beneath him.

The instinct to bare my neck for him to bite...for him to claim me...I didn't understand it, nor did I plan to allow myself to act on it.

Damon biting me was what had gotten us into this whole mess in the first place.

So why the hell was that what I'd wanted to let him do again?

And the complete and total disregard for everything he'd done that I'd felt in that moment...it wasn't me.

I twirled the knife again, my head pounding.

None of this made any sense to me, and I had been too embarrassed and too hurt to voice the emotions to Damon.

I didn't want him to know what I'd felt, nor how close I'd been to losing all control.

It wasn't fucking fair!

I threw the knife across the room and it hit the wall with a sharp bang.

A second after that, there was a knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

"Elena," Alaric's voice called through the wood, "It's Ric...everything okay?"

Moving from my chair by the window, I crossed the room and opened the door for him, "Yeah, fine. Just throwing a fit. You?"

His brow lifted and I sighed, "It's nothing."

"Nothing," he repeated in that tone that made it clear he didn't believe me, "Right. Can I guess that means that your practice didn't go well."

I shrugged, "It went okay."

"You're locked up in your room again and Damon's outside running himself to exhaustion. That doesn't sound like it went okay."

I sat on my bed, crossing my legs as I debated about how much I wanted to tell him.

Well, I thought, at the very least he might be able to explain what the fuck was happening in my head.

"It was going good," I assured him, "But then...it got personal."

"Want to elaborate?"

I exhaled in an annoyed huff, "Damon pinned me beneath him and for some reason every bone in my body was telling me to let him fuck me into oblivion then offer my neck for him to rip into a second time. Is that elaborate enough?"

Alaric's lip twitched, as though he were trying not to show amusement, and I shook my head, "I know. I'm sorry. It's just that it feels completely ridiculous and...not me. I don't want that. That's the last thing I want. So feeling that way scared the shit out of me and I have no idea why I felt it."

Ric nodded slowly, then reached over and grabbed the chair I had perched by the window and drug it over to sit down.

"What you're dealing with is wolf instinct," he told me, his eyes holding my gaze, "It's completely normal."

"How is that normal?" I asked him, "I hate Damon."

"No you don't," he said calmly, "You want to. You try to act like you do...but you don't. And your wolf knows that."

"I thought we were talking about instinct," I shot.

"It's both," he told me, "Your wolf and your instincts, they work together. Your wolf drives your instincts in a very strong and very primal way that doesn't always align with rational thought."

I stared at him, "So you're saying what I felt earlier with Damon...that was primal instinct?"

"Yes," he said, "You loved Damon enough to marry him, and that doesn't just go away because you want it to. You still love him, even though you're angry with him, and your wolf recognizes his claim on you-"

"Damon doesn't have a claim on me," I interrupted him, "And after what he did-"

"Listen to me, Elena," Alaric insisted, and I forced my mouth to shut, despite the words that burned on my tongue.

"You have to separate the wolf from the human, in your mind, in order to understand this," he said, "Your humanity is tied to your emotions and your thoughts; your heart. But your instincts and your wolf...that's a primal affect. Physical."

"So what's your point?" I demanded.

"My point is that you gave your body to Damon," Alaric told me, causing a light blush to sneak onto my face, "On several occasions. And he bit you, in his human form and in his wolf form. Your body...your wolf...she recognizes him as her mate, as the male that claimed her, and your instincts are going to drive you to submit to him because of it."

He paused, as if to let me absorb that, then continued, "Your rational mind doesn't have to feel it, or even accept it, but your wolf isn't going to listen to rationality. She's going to go by instinct and your instincts tell her that Damon is hers."

Tears flooded my eyes for the second time today and I wiped them away fiercely, "But I don't want him."

Alaric gave me a sad look, "You may not right now...but give it time, sweetheart-"

"No," I stopped him, "I don't want to give myself time to change my mind. What Damon did to me is unforgivable and my wolf or instinct or whatever is just going to have to accept that because there's no damn way I'm going to give Damon what he wants. Not after what he did to me. I can't."

An expression crossed Alaric's face that seemed torn and he opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and just sighed.

"You're free to make your own choice, of course," he said instead, "As are all the members of the Pack, but don't underestimate yourself. Your wolf or your humanity. Either one could surprise you, so the more you work at finding a balance between them, the easier things will be on you."

I nodded, "Okay."

"And talk to Damon," he said, earning a dirty look, though it didn't seem to bother him much.

"It's the only way you'll learn to control your emotions," he said, but there was something about his expression that made me wonder if there was more to it than that.

"Or you're hoping by spending more time with him, I'll start to forgive him," I guessed, narrowing my eyes.

Alaric merely stood and walked to the door, but the parting wink he tossed over his shoulder was evidence enough that I was right.

Just perfect.

Shaking my head, I moved off the bed and across the room to where the knife had landed on the floor.

I picked it up and spent one last moment examining the length of it before squeezing it in my palm and heading for the door Alaric had just exited from.

Over the next few days, I tried to ignore what my Alpha had told me about my wolf and her instincts.

I didn't care if she wanted to submit to Damon.

She could damn well get over it.

With each new training session I had with him, it was easier to put her back in her place, and to be sure that I never ended up under his body again.

Refusal to allow this often left me sore and bruised from effort, but that was certainly better than being all hot and bothered for a male I could barely stand to let touch me long enough to complete our exercises.

And speaking of exercise…

"What do you mean we're going for a run?" I demanded, still breathing heavy from the last sparring match Damon and I had completed.

"You heard me," he said, "You haven't been Changing nearly enough and Alaric wants us to leave for Tennessee on Friday. Putting off the transition isn't a good idea."

I crossed my arms. This wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind when he had led me to the edge of the forest that surrounded the back yard.

"But why do I have to run with you?" I asked.

"Because I said so."

"And that's supposed to matter?" I scoffed.

Damon sighed and took a step closer to me, "Because you refuse to run the woods with me. That's why. When we leave here, it's just going to be us out there. You can't be afraid of showing me your wolf, if that's what it comes to."

But I wasn't afraid of that.

I wasn't afraid of being a wolf in front of him...I was afraid of him being a wolf in front of me.

Locking eyes with the monster that had fated me to this existence is what had me hesitating to be in the same vicinity as Damon in wolf form.

But he was right.

Did I really want to risk falling into a panic attack in front of a Mutt, if I didn't deal with this now?

No.

"Okay. We'll run the fricken woods."

Damon nodded, seeming relieved that I'd consented, but I paused when he started reaching for the button on his jeans, "What are you doing?"

His brow lifted, "Changing."

"Right. I forgot that decency isn't your strong suit."

He laughed quietly, but pinned me with an amused stare, "This will hardly be the first time we've seen each other naked, kitten."

I rolled my eyes and ignored the rush of memories his words brought forward.

"If it bothers you that much, go out a ways to turn. I promise not to peek," He said, continuing to strip off his pants.

Commando.

This just kept getting better and better, I thought sarcastically.

"Fine. Then stay here. I'll find you when I'm through."

He nodded, and I took his advice, jogging out into the thicket of the trees until he disappeared from sight.

Only when I was sure I was alone did I start taking off my own clothes and drop to the ground.

Changing still hurt like a bitch.

Imagine every single bone in your body cracking and reforming, while fur sprouted from your pores and needle sharp teeth ripped through your gums.

I hated the entire experience.

However, when it was over, and I was a wolf, it somehow seemed worth it.

There was a certain freedom and connection that the animal released that had a way of making you forget all about the suffering.

At least, until your rational mind caught back up.

I shook out my fur then went to find Damon.

It wasn't hard, as he was exactly where I'd told him to wait for me, except now in wolf form.

I slowed as I came out of the trees, keeping my eyes trailed on the animal.

The fear and boiling anger I'd expected to overcome me at the sight of him was sorely lacking.

I mean, sure, there was anger, and the memory of him biting me was still as fresh as if it had happened yesterday, but it didn't take precedence.

Instead, when Damon spotted me and stood, I once again felt the urge to offer him my neck.

It was a stronger instinct than before, actually being in wolf form, but I understood it better now, and forced the desire back.

I did, however, cower some when he rose to his full height, his size easily larger than my own, and pinned my ears back in a warning.

He seemed to read my signals now easier than he did in human form, and let out a low whine to indicate he wasn't trying to be threatening.

I forced my body to relax and when Damon registered that I was, he motioned towards the forest.

Then he took off, and I span in his direction, following behind.

Running was one part of being a wolf that I enjoyed.

The world passing by me in a blur of colors while all of my senses came alive to direct my movements.

My feet dug into the dirt and I propelled myself forward so that I was running next to Damon instead of behind him.

He took notice of me and with a loud bark, sped up.

He was fast.

Faster than any of the others, and I actually had to push myself to keep neck to neck with him.

When he continued to gain speed, I realized that our run had become a game.

A race.

Half of me wanted to stop immediately and refuse to indulge him.

But the half of me that won over was the competitive bitch who refused to let Damon beat me at anything.

I ran harder and harder until time held no meaning and my side began to ache.

Damon kept in time with me, but it seemed to be a struggle from him as well, and I gained an inch.

Then another.

But where I had him in speed, he overpowered me with strength and I was putting out a hell of a lot more of an effort to hold my lead.

Eventually we reached the river, the unofficial direction we'd been heading, and I howled my victory when I touched the water first.

Damon slowed on the shore, and found a place to sit and watch me.

I ignored him, choosing instead to gulp up some water since my throat was suddenly feeling dry.

Then I went over to the land to join him, shaking out my fur.

Damon didn't appear to mind that some of the droplets landed on him, as he simply plopped down onto his stomach.

I hesitated for a moment, then laid down too, keeping a good foot between us.

We were both panting, proof that we'd exerted ourselves a little more than necessary, but it had been worth it to know that there was something I could do better than him.

But this was nice too.

Surprisingly.

I'd thought being around Damon as a wolf would be harder, considering it was the wolf that had taken everything from me, but it wasn't.

When I looked at the black fur and deep blue eyes, I recognized him as Damon, but it didn't feel the same as staring at the man I loved.

It didn't hurt in the way looking at Damon's human face did, because I didn't have to remember all the time I'd spent with him this way.

As odd as it was, the wolf felt safer.

We stayed out in the woods for the rest of the afternoon.

The others never came to find us or interrupted the last half hour we spent hunting down small woodland creatures.

Eating literal raw meat was still an adjustment for me, but I took Damon's lead when he tossed the carcass of a dead squirrel at my feet and dug in.

Then we stopped at the river once more to clean ourselves, before heading back toward the Manor.

The sun had set some time ago, and though there was still a little daylight left, the moon was already taking its place in the sky.

I paused to stare up at it through a clearing in the trees, and Damon stopped next to me.

The moment was comfortable, and I hated it, but before I could continue walking, Damon had thrown back his head and let out a long, lyrical howl.

The fur on my neck rose at the noise, and I watched him.

His eyes were closed, and the fact that he'd exposed his neck wide open let me know that he trusted me.

The melody of his song was transfixing, and I took a step closer and sat down in front of him.

Then I lifted my own muzzle into the air, and joined him.

After we finished, Damon's eyes opened and his gaze found mine.

Something about his expression seemed lighter.

Then before I could stop and register what was happening, he was Changing.

Even though I'd gone through the transition myself, it was odd to actually watch it happen.

But the shift from wolf to man seemed almost easy to Damon and he'd completed the Change in a quarter of the time it took me.

"We should go ahead and Change," he said, "It's not too far of a walk back. You can pick up your clothes on the way."

Apparently my glare was obvious even in this form, and Damon chuckled before turning around.

"There," he said, now that his back was to me, "I won't watch."

I growled a little at him and, despite the fact that he'd looked away, sauntered off behind some trees before letting the Change overtake me.

My whine turned into a very human cry as the transition completed, and I gave myself a moment before standing to my feet.

"You okay?" Damon's voice called over to me, and I cleared my throat, "I'm fine."

It took me a minute to readjust to having two feet again, but soon I was able to walk straight and managed to find the path.

Damon was waiting for me, no longer turned around, and his eyes didn't hesitate to do a full sweep of my body when he spotted me.

"You might as well get an eyeful while you can," I warned him, and he smirked a little, "Like you don't know how good you look."

But I was too tired; too emotionally spent to argue with him.

"Just don't," I said, and the lack of my normal bite seemed to tell him that I wasn't in the mood to deal with his banter.

"You should feel comfortable out here," he said instead, keeping his eyes on my face this time, "Nudity is just a part of what we are."

We.

Because I was a werewolf now; just like him.

I waited for the anger to come, to ruin the peaceful afternoon we'd managed, but it didn't.

I just felt the same emotional exhaustion as before.

Or maybe it was actual exhaustion.

It had been a really long day, after all, and it still hadn't ended.

"Let's just find my clothes. Okay?"

Damon nodded and motioned with his head the direction we should head, "The house is back this way."

"I know," I told him, pushing ahead.

"You do?"

"You aren't the only one with a supernatural sense of smell now."

And speaking of smells, I was taking a shower the second I got back to my room.

Forest dirt, dead animal, and river water wasn't exactly my favorite mixture of senses.

Damon was quiet as he walked next to me, for once, and after a few moments of the quiet had passed, I glanced back to be sure he hadn't disappeared altogether.

But he hadn't, and his eyes met mine.

"What?" I demanded, when an odd expression crossed his face.

Damon stared at me for a moment before saying.

"You deserved more."

"What?"

He sighed, "What happened...the way it went down...you deserved more than that."

I swallowed hard and dropped my eyes, "If you're gearing up for another apology, save it. I'm not interested."

"Just because you don't want to hear it doesn't mean I don't need to say it...or that it isn't true. I am sorry, Elena. I'm sorry that I made choices that hurt you."

Unwanted tears sprung into my vision, and I turned my head back to the pathway to avoid looking into Damon's eyes.

"You can be sorry all you want," I told him, "The outcome is always going to be the same. My life ended the day you bit me...and so did we."

"Elena…" his pleaded tone cut me, and I flinched, but it didn't change the fact that it was the truth.

He'd ruined everything we could have had with his own selfishness, and I was the one who got to live with it.

"My clothes are just up here," I said, changing the subject, "I'll get them. You should go on to the house."

I didn't wait for a response, and simply veered off path to find my shirt and pants.

However, after I dressed and made it out of the woods, Damon was still there.

Waiting for me.

It's funny, isn't it, how when mayhem strikes, it's never when you expect it, or in the way you expect it to happen.

Because this...this certainly wasn't the way I'd ever imagined being on the tail end of a chaotic downward spiral, but life seems to find pleasure in disarray.

"Skylar!" I grabbed my daughter's shoulders, hitting my knees in front of her as she screamed.

We had been in my room, folding laundry on the bed when she'd jumped up, gripping her arm while releasing a cry that tore my heart.

"Baby, what's wrong?!" I demanded, as she began sobbing through the yells, still gripping her arm.

I pried her hand away from her wrist just as Caroline and Mason bolted into the room, "What happened?"

My daughter's wrist was bleeding, but that wasn't what caught my voice in my throat.

Her birthmark was glowing.

Just as it had on the day she was born.

"Skylar," I tried to reach her, pushing her hair back out of her face, "Sky, baby, talk to me."

"Danny," she choked.

Fear was running cold through my veins and my eyes shot up to Mason.

In a commanding tone to rival my Alpha husband's I said, "Go find out what the hell happened, now!"

He was out the door before I had even finished speaking, and Caroline hesitated, "Elena-"

"Go get Bonnie," I told her but she shook her head, "She's still in town with George."

"Shit."

Skylar screamed again, this time hitting her knees, "Skylar!"

Her palms landed hard against the floor, and I jumped back as fire erupted from her hands.

Not just the usual flames she liked to throw when she was pissed, but actual fire.

A tsunami of it exploded out, spreading and choking, and I barely had time to lift my own hands to shield Caroline and myself from the backlash, which sent the flames heading for us in the complete opposite direction, taking out a good portion of the wall.

My daughter's cries were piercing, but the fire was still swarming and dropping my hands to go to her would mean relinquishing the only control I had over it.

Which could possibly burn down our entire home.

"Mom-"

Michael appeared in the doorway, and his eyes fell to Skylar.

"Sky?"

"Baby, get back," Caroline instructed, but he ignored her and rushed into the room.

Despite the flames surrounding her, he ran to Skylar's side; his arm raising to shield himself from the blaze.

"Michael, get back!" I yelled, coughing a little as smoke rose from the heat.

But again, he didn't listen.

Instead, he came up behind Skylar and wrapped his arms around her chest, speaking words that I couldn't focus on listening to.

I heard him wince in pain, but he kept talking and slowly, slowly, the fire seemed to loose it's raging hunger.

It began to retract, as if my daughter was willing it back into her body.

Michael still spoke to her, and as soon as the flames had doused enough for us to reach the children, Caroline bolted forward.

"Wait," I grabbed her after relaxing my arms, "Wait."

I held her until the fire had completely disappeared, and we both took in the scorch marks left on the wood.

Not to mention the giant piece of missing wood on the far wall.

I released my friend and she dropped down beside the young, asking if they were alright.

Footsteps scurried over behind us, and I turned to see Damon, Mason, and Stefan.

"What happened?" My mate demanded, the same fear I felt echoing in his eyes.

"I have no idea. Where's Daniel?"

"With Alaric and Klaus," Damon said, "He scratched his arm while we were training then it was like he lost his damn mind. He Changed on the spot and was howling like mad, but we got him worked down."

"Skylar was affected too," I said, "Her powers went crazy. But I think Michael calmed her down."

He moved over to where Skylar was balled up on the floor and got to his knees by Caroline.

Michael was still hugging Skylar to himself and Damon whispered to him that it was okay to let her go now.

Carefully, the boy pulled his arms away and my chest lurched when I saw how angry red his skin was.

Burned.

"Oh, baby," Caroline gasped and I hurried forward, "Go run his arms under cool water, then wrap them with the bandages in the first aid kit under the sink downstairs. I'll come find you to help heal him as soon as we figure out what the hell happened."

Caroline nodded and ushered Michael from the room, much to his protests of wanting to stay with Skylar.

"Come on, baby girl," Damon was whispering to her, "It's okay."

"It hurts," she breathed, lifting her head slightly, "Daddy it hurts."

Damon pulled her into his arms, where she immediately curled into his chest, her body shaking.

"What hurts, baby?" he asked, "Come on, talk to me."

The Alpha command was subtle, but it was the push she needed to open up.

"My birthmark," she said, "And my head. They feel like they're on fire...like Danny was on fire...is Danny okay?"

Her head lifted at the question, and her hand jumped to her chest, "Danny….I can't feel Danny. Daddy! Is Danny okay?! I can't feel him!"

As her eyes widened I noticed that her usual blue iris had darkened to brown, and her hand was starting to glow red as her panic began to re-triggered whatever this was.

I grabbed it, "Daniel's fine, baby….right?"

I gave Damon a pointed look and he nodded, "He's perfectly okay. But right now, I need to make sure you are too."

He brushed some of Skylar's hair back and told her, with a thick layer of Alpha command, "I need you to stay calm, okay?"

She nodded smalley, and I touched Damon's shoulder, "I'm going to go see Daniel."

He gave me a nod, "Okay. I've got her."

I kissed Skylar on top of the head, then stood, using my nose to backtrack Damon's scent to the kitchen, then out onto the patio.

My son was there, Ric, Klaus, and Tyler surrounding him.

He was in human form, but his pants were ripped up, as if he'd exploded out of them.

According to Damon, he had.

"Hey baby."

His head shot up, "Momma?"

Both of his eyes were blue.

I forced a smile and moved to his side, where he immediately threw his arms around me.

Alaric gave me a stare over the top of his head, "What's going on?"

"We're trying to figure that out," I told him, then looked at Klaus, "You should probably go inside. Michael helped Skylar and got burned."

The Enforcer stiffened, "Is he alright?"

"Nothing I won't be able to help heal," I assured him, "But Caroline's treating him for now."

He nodded and headed for the door without another word.

I waited until he was inside before pulling away from Daniel.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Better," he said, refusing to release me, "But my head hurts really bad."

I let him lay against my chest, and stroked his hair, "Can I see your arm?"

He lifted it to me for examination and I frowned when I noticed the three solid scratches running across his skin, the middle one cutting through his birthmark.

"Did one of the trainees do this?"

Alaric was the one to answer, "It was a light spar. If all this wouldn't of happened, I'd guess he'd have healed within the hour, easily. The trainees are waiting in the living room until we get this sorted out."

"Tyler," I addressed the youngest Lockwood, "Go get Damon, please. If Skylar's able, have him bring her out here."

He nodded, and left to do what I asked without question.

"Elena, Damon was watching them like a hawk," Alaric told me after a moment, "There's no way one of those kids caused this with just a scratch."

"I know," I said, "I'm thinking this problem is a little more magical."

"Magical?"

I didn't answer him, because the back door opened then and Damon stepped out with Skylar in his arms.

"Danny," she said immediately, relief crossing her features.

Damon sat her down and Daniel wiggled out of my arms at the same time.

They embraced tightly the second they were in reach of each other, and Damon walked over to me.

"He okay?"

I nodded, "Same thing Sky said. Headache."

Damon frowned and I called the twins over.

"I think it has to do with this," I said, reaching for Daniel's arm.

He let me pull out his wrist to show Damon the scratch, and even Alaric peered over.

Skylar stretched her arm out and put it next to Daniel's.

Three similar welts marred her skin as well, though they had stopped bleeding.

"I'm going to try to heal this, okay?" I asked them, and they nodded.

Placing my hand over Daniel's wrist first, I drew on my power.

Bonnie had taught me a lot over the years, and healing was one of the things I found I was decent at, though it wasn't often necessary, given our already speedy capabilities in that department.

I felt my palm grow warm as it began to illuminate slightly.

A moment later, the scratches began to heal as if on fast forward.

The wound pulled together, scabbed over, then slowly began to fade.

As they left Daniel, they disappeared from Skylar's arm as well, but I didn't feel relief until my daughter sighed and said, "I can feel you again, Danny."

And both their eyes turned back to normal...well, normal for them.

Daniel smiled, and I inspected that the wound was completely gone before dropping my hand.

"Better?"

They both nodded.

"The hurt is gone," Daniel said, and Skylar gave a nod of agreement.

"That's good, right?" Damon asked me.

I smiled at the twins, "You two stay here with Alaric, okay? Mommy has to talk to Daddy for a minute."

They nodded and I looked at Ric for permission.

"I've got em," he assured me and I thanked him, taking Damon's hand and pulling him to the yard, out of little ones natural hearing range.

"I'm going to have Bonnie call her grandmother," I told him, and Damon froze.

"Elena, what was this?"

"I don't know," I told him, "But I have some guesses. I'm hoping Sheila can tell us more."

He glanced back at the twins with worry on his face.

"They're okay," I told him, "At least, I think they are. For now."

"What do you think this was?" he asked, training his eyes back to me.

"You remember when we had the mark?" I asked him, and he nodded, recalling my dangerous pregnancy.

"It connected us like it connects them," I elaborated, "And when Giuseppe cut your mark, I couldn't feel you anymore."

"Like Skylar said she couldn't feel Daniel," he concluded, and I nodded, "Exactly."

"But the bond was completely severed with us," Damon said, "It disappeared when it was cut."

"Because it was a spell," I reasoned, "But it's something more for the twins...something stronger. They were born with this."

"So you think their birthmark being severed is what caused their reaction?"

"Only one way to find out," I told him, "We need to call Sheila Bennett."

Bow wow...so that happened.

Let me know whatcha thought :)