Dean sat in the front seat of his car for longer than necessary. He was no looking forward to this at all. He'd much rather shoot himself in the foot than see his little brother resent him. He gripped the streering wheel and breathed deeply.

He could do this. Bobby didn't hate him, why would Sam? He tried to reason with himself, but no matter what he said, all he could see was Sam scorning him with his eyes. He could see him turning away in disgust. This was the most awful thing Dean had ever felt.

He picture Cas falling into him, crying on his shoulder because he didn't want to lose Dean over emotional trauma. He was strong enough to let all his feelings and pain show, so Dean will be strong enough to tell Sammy. He has to, for Cas. It's not fair to keep him a secret. And Dean didn't want to hide him. He wants to show the world what an awesome person Cas was and that he was his.

A knock sounded on the window, making Dean jump. He looked up to see Sam. He rolled down the window, "You've been sitting here for half an hour. If you rub the steering wheel anymore it will tear the leather." He looked concerned, and all Dean could was grunt.

Dean cleared his throat, "Let's go for a drive." Sam got in on the passenger side, then turned to Dean when he didn't pull away.

"What's going on Dean? What's wrong? You look like someone stole the last piece of apple pie and someone keyed your car. And quite honestly you look constipated as well. It's not a good look for you." Dean knew his little brother was trying to get him out of his funk, but he couldn't focas on it. "Dean, where are we going?"

He looked around and realized he was subconsciously driving towards Charlie's place. "We are gonna talk. Charlie can help me."

"Dean you are starting to worry me. What the hell is up?" Dean pulled the car over and just sat and looked at Sam.

"I... I don't want you to hate me." Dean's breathing was shallow. He felt as though he was trying to swallow a golfball.

"What are you talking about?" Sam was so confused he rubbed the back of his neck.

Dean steeled himself and tried to take a deep breath, "I have a boyfriend..." He held his breathe for what seemed like a lifetime before Sam replied.

"What?" His face morphed from confusion to disbelief. He straightened himself in his seat.

Dean began to panic when he narrowed his eyes, "I have a boyfriend, and I might love him. We've not had the relationship very long. This is new thing for me, and I felt that it was wrong to keep it a secret from you. I don't want you to hate me." Dean was trying to ramble, but he was running out of things to say. He almost didn't want to give Sam the chance to speak.

"Who?" Dean couldn't tell if it was disdain or blunt curiousity in his voice.

"... Castiel..." Dean began to sweat. Sam's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. "Sammy?"

"How long?" Sam looked as if he was relaxing.

"About a month. Give or take." When he saw Sam visibly relax, his own heartbeat began to slow a little.

"Dean, why would you think I would hate you? Just because you're gay, or bisexual, or whatever, doesn't change the fact you're my big brother. It doesn't change the fact I love you. And only because it's Castiel do I feel the least bit slighted at being kept in the dark. I look up to him, just as I look up to you." Dean let his breath go. He felt the weight leave his chest as his little brother made his heart swell. He would never things like that though because nobody in their right mind likes a chick flick moment.

"Sammy..."

"Whoa, no. You stop right there, don't think you're scott free. Who all knows?" Sam sat forward with squinted eyes. He had a major bitch face going.

"Charlie, Bobby, and Gabriel. Oh and Lisa too." Dean looked down sheepishly and started fiddling with the radio. He found his station and Def Leppard was playing. He tried to focus on the lyrics as Sam looked at him with mock anger.

"Your art vendor knew before me?!" Dean nodded and started whistling the song. Sam punched him in the arm. Dean looked over at him.

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

They both burst out laughing. The tension was completely gone and Dean ruffled Sam's hair. He pulled off again still heading to Charlie's. Maybe his favorite little lesbian could give him some tips. That and he wanted to tell her all about the last two days.

Cas was in his father's home. Everything was that awful off white his dad was so fond of. The only splash of color was a red stain in the middle of the carpet. He went to go investigate it. All of a sudden his hands were bound and he was in imense pain. He was shirtless, kneeling over the blood stain on the carpet. It was his blood. it was coming from the various open lacerations on his face.

Cas looked up into the eyes of his father and saw the pure hatred. The voice that followed the look was deep and booming, just as Cas' own voice was, but it had a cruel undertone to it, "You are not worthy. You are rebellious and disobediant. You have too many emotions. You are weak." Another blow landed on Cas' face and it kicked his head to the side.

"Why are you doing this to me? All I ever wanted was your love. All I seeked was your aproval of me." Cas' voice was hoarse, as if he'd been screaming.

"How could I love such a worthless son? You can't follow the simplest commands. You are what? A lawyer? You try to help people? You can't even help yourself. How could anyone love you." Out of nowhere his father yelled in pain. Dean was behind him. He had struck him in the shouder with a blade of some kind. He whirled around the father to Cas so he could cut him free.

Cas panicked, "NO! Dean, get out of here. He will hurt you!" Dean wasn't listening to him. His father was now coming towards Dean with a fury in his eye.

"You can't save him. He is beyond your reach. He is still mine." His dad lashed out at Dean and launched him across the open space into the wall. Cas yelled and pleaded for him to focus on himself again.

"Leave him alone! It's me who deserves this, not him!" His father wasn't paying any attention to him anymore. He picked Dean's unconscious body up by his throat. His feet came off the ground and he came to and began to struggle. Cas' vision went red. He was so infuriated his father would lay a hand on him.

The scene changed as Cas threw his father to the ground. "How dare you touch me!" Cas grew in physical size as his anger grew.

"You have no power over me anymore. You left. You aren't real." His father tried to stand but Cas' words kept him down. "You will leave me in peace. You are nothing but a bad memory. You left, and I refuse to hold back anything anymore because I was never good enough for you." Cas watched as the image of his father went up in smoke. He turned back towards the wall to find the scene had changed.

He was no longer bleeding or in pain. What lay before him was beautiful. Dean was on his stomach, his hands folded underneath his cheek. He peeked up at him from under his lashes and smiled. Cas was straddling his back. He leaned down and began to rub Dean's shoulders.

"Dean." His name was just a breath but he felt as though it spoke volumes.

Cas' eyes drifted open. He'd never had a nightmare go that well. looked at the clock and it said six o' clock. He'd slept most of the day away. He wondered where Dean was. He hoped everything had gone well with Sam.

He got up and wondered to the kitchen. Gabe was watching some animal planet documetary on his couch, "You haven't left?"

"I told your lover boy I'd stay till he got back. Have you seen the news? There was supposedly a shooting at an auto shop. Three people were killed." Gabriel was talking around a sucker.

"That's horrible. People are disgusting sometimes." Cas felt sad at the loss of life. He was slightly glad he didn't have friends to worry about. He idly wondered about the families of the people killed. He solemly made a cup of tea so he could join Gabe on the couch.

He was thinking about Dean, which lead him to think about his family, "Oh Jesus." Cas quickly ditched the cup and hot water as he ran to his laptop, "What new channel did you see that on?"

"Uh, I don't remember. It was a couple of hours ago. But I do remember they said that one of the people killed was the shop owner." Cas' stomach was twisting as he brought up every news site he knew. He was praying with all his might.

Lord let him be wrong.