CHAPTER 17
WHAT GOES UP
"Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love."
-John le Carre
It is quite rare that a person can pin point the moment they go insane. A person's sanity is so precious, so dear, and they hold onto it for dear life for as long as they can...when it is in their control.
There had been a hand on Katie's life from the moment she was born, to the moment she flew on a plane to Bosnia, to the second a group of government cronies pretending to be extremists kidnapped her and turned everything she knew upside down. Up to this point, this hand was a mystery. An unseen enemy that seemed to move and place her like a chess piece.
But not any longer.
"Ms. Robins?" a voice spoke, and Katie was torn from her thoughts and brought back to the old, dusty church basement masquerading as a meeting place for people who suffer from PTSD. "I know it's your first meeting, and I don't want to push, you've just been a bit quiet. Is there anything you would like to share?" Katie glanced around to the eyes on her and she looked down to her hands.
"I uh-" she cleared her throat figuring she should say something. Despite not wanting to be here, she does still have hope that this could somehow help her. "Can't seem to even pretend things are normal any more." she lifted her eyes, finding the eyes on her a bit unnerving. "For years I was in this prison, wanting so desperately to get home, and now I'm here and-"
"Feels like you're still there." one of the guys to her left said. She glanced over to him, she couldn't read his name tag from where she stood so she just gave a nod.
"Well a couple of meetings ago, I think we discussed some techniques to help get through those moments." Katie turned back to their meeting coordinator, some scrawny guy with glasses way too big for his face. His name was Samson, which he made sure to tell her the moment she walked into the meeting. "Remember guys, closing our eyes-" he closed his eyes to emphasize. "And taking a deep breath in...and a deep breath out...and then another deep breath in..."
Katie along with the other members seemed to roll their eyes when suddenly, the ding of the timer signified their time was up and the meeting was over.
"Alright everyone, as always this was a great meeting. I feel we're really starting to let go of some of this stuff we're burying inside and that's the key to finding our normalcy again. We have to keep talking, keep expressing how we feel, when we feel then and before you know it , it won't be hard to finally start moving forward."
Katie stayed in her seat for a few moments as everyone stood, and went over to the snack table and conversed.
"Iraq." a voice spoke suddenly beside her and she turned to see the guy from earlier who commented to her. She looked down to his name tag that read "The Real Slim Shady." she looked back to the man who continued. "I was out with my convoy, and out of nowhere we were ambushed. It was like my first real fire fight you know, and I can honestly say I was scared shitless." he chuckled, but she could see the honesty in his eyes. "I remember every detail from that day, from the cold oatmeal I ate that morning to the last words my buddy Kip said as I held his hand while he bled to death. Sometimes I'm sitting in a diner, and just like that I'm back in that desert with gun fire rattling in my ears." the man shook his head. "Deep breathing doesn't help us escape our prisons."
"What does?" Katie asked and the man seemed to think for a moment before shaking his head.
"I don't know, but when I find out, I think I might let you know." he said.
"And why would you do that?"
"I've been to a lot of these meetings, seen a lot of people, but your eyes seem darker than anyone's I ever seen." he said and Katie turned away. "I'm not sure what you've seen, but I get the feeling you need saving from the place just as bad as I do."
"It was nice meeting you, Mr. Shady." Katie said before standing to her feet and heading for the stairs. She intended to rush for the doors, ignoring the eeriness churches seemed to have on her, but her plan was thwarted. Katie stopped walking when she saw John sitting in one of the pews apparently waiting for her. She only stopped for a moment before continuing her stride out the door.
"Katie, wait up." John called, rushing to catch up to her. "I understand you're upset-"
"Do you, John?" Katie asked stopping and turning to the man. "You understand what it's like to have the people you care about the most all lie to your face."
"We didn't lie-"
"No you just chose to omit the truth!" Katie snapped turning back in search of her car. "You know I just don't understand why any of you would even help him keep this a secret. He was the monster that turned my life upside down. He's the one who sent Slade to that damn island, sent Oliver to that island where he watched his father die. Jacob Robins didn't deserve your trust and yet-"
"You think we were helping him?" John asked and Katie stopped at the question. "You think any of this was about him?"
"Oh, so this was about protecting me, I guess." Katie scoffed with a shake of her head. "That's bullshit-"
"Is it?" John asked. "Tell me what is the last thing you've eaten? When was the last time you've slept?" he stepped closer to her. "Other then this meeting, when was the last time you've left your apartment?"
"Your point?"
"My point is, this is eating away at you. It's messing with your head, and that is not something you want to be doing alone."
"You're right, it's not, but at the moment I have no choice." Katie snapped turning back to the man. "I trusted all of you and now that's just gone. So if I'm going to solve my problems, then I'm going to do it alone." and with that Katie turned and stalked toward her car.
"What does that mean?!" John called after her, but she didn't answer. She simply got into her car and drove away. He cursed at the wind before turning and heading for his own car.
When John pulled up to the foundry, he spotted Laurel walking up as well. The woman stopped and waited for him so they could walk in together.
"You don't look happy." Laurel commented as they walked toward the door. John stopped and glanced up to the new security cameras he'd had installed from A.R.G.U.S.
"I went to see Katie." John said before walking into the club.
"Really? How did that go? How is she taking the news of her father being alive."
"I don't know, but I get the feeling not good." John said as they reached the stairs that lead to the basement. "She went to her first group counseling session today, and I didn't even think she would show."
"Maybe she's finally seeking help." Laurel said and John shook his head.
"I want to believe that, but I get the feeling it's something else." John spoke as they reached the lair, hit with the sight of a sword fight between Oliver, Thea and Malcolm.
"Has he spoken to her since that day at RI?" Laurel whispered over to John who just shrugged.
"It looks like the reinforcements from A.R.G.U.S are all set." John stated when he figured the fight was over. "We're secure."
"If the club is as secure as Dig says, perhaps you and Thea should relocate here." Malcolm suggested over to Oliver who simply shook his head.
"We discussed that. Thea wants to stay in the loft." Oliver stated firmly.
"I have only been able to survive in Starling City because the League has no idea where in the city I am." Malcolm continued his argument which only seemed to succeed in annoying everyone in the room.
"We are not leaving the loft."
"You and your sister have the same stubbornness. Clearly it comes from your mother's side of the family." Malcolm said with a shake of his head. "All I'm saying is, the league is closer than ever now and-"
"What are you talking about?" Thea asked. "Closer how?" Malcolm glanced between Oliver and Thea and sighed.
"He means Katie." Oliver said, his hand suddenly gripping the sword in his hand again. "You think she's working with Ra's."
"I think the demon working so diligently to have his bloodline in one place, only to just let her go is something in a fairy tale." Malcolm said. "I know you all want to believe some story about how the demon's heart grew three sizes bigger and he found humanity in himself and let Katherine just walk out of there, but that's impossible."
"Once again you find yourself with an opinion on a situation you caused!" Thea snapped angrily. "Katie would never have even had to return to that place if it wasn't for you."
"How we ended up here doesn't matter-"
"Oh please-"
"He's right." Oliver said suddenly and all eyes turned to him. "Ra's didn't just let her go out of the goodness of his heart."
"You saying you think there's something else at play here?" John asked and Oliver glanced over and shook his head.
"No, he meant to let her go, just like he let Grace leave." Oliver said turning back to Malcolm. "Ra's Al Ghul is a monster, pure evil, but somehow he was someone's son, and someone's brother and I think that guy is still inside of him. That guy he thought was dead, but then he saw someone who looked like his sister and-"
"You think he let her go because he was scared?" Malcolm asked, the amusement in his tone evident. "That's actually less believable than him growing a heart. Look I just think you should be careful with Katherine-"
"Katie's family, Malcolm." Thea interrupted and the man turned to her. "Always has and always will be. We trust her a hell of a lot more then we trust you, so if you don't mind, how about you keep your opinions to yourself." Malcolm simply gave a single nod before turning to leave. Thea looked over to her brother who seemed to be deep in thought. "And you, you idiot?!" Oliver glanced over to his sister in confusion. "You better start planning some wildly extravagant apology, because you will not screw up me having her as a sister in law." with that Thea stalked upstairs to get changed.
Laurel glanced over to John who gave a slight nudge of his head, and she gave a nod in understanding.
"I think I forgot my phone in my car." Laurel said before heading up the stairs leaving the two men alone.
Oliver glanced over to John and just let out an annoyed sigh, because he could practically see the conversation he didn't want to have before it even started.
"I don't want to-"
"She went to her first group counseling session today." John stated and Oliver turned to him in surprise. He remembers Katie mentioning the sessions suggested by Dr. Adams. She usually mocked them, which is why finding out that she actually went was surprising.
"Really?"
"Yeah, she mentioned the meeting to me a while back, a couple of days before the RI meeting. She asked if I would come with her and I said yeah. She didn't want to say anything to everyone about it because she said she thought admitting that she needed help would cause everyone to look at her differently."
"That's ridiculous."
"That's what I told her, but she just wanted to keep it low key for a while. But then David Parker came back into our lives and brought explosives with him. I didn't think she would go to the meetings either, but I went just in case, and there she was."
"How did she seem?"
"That's just it, I don't know. That wall she keeps up, is up and is in full force. There's absolutely no telling what's going on in her head, but she did say something when I tried to talk to her."
"What?"
"If she's going to solve her problems, then she's going to do it alone." John replied with a shake of his head. "Oliver I get the feeling that worst possible reaction we all expect from Katie finally getting this news, is probably happening. You have to talk to her."
"And say what?! That I screwed up again? That I'm sorry again for ruining us?" Oliver asked angrily. "I did that already and she made it perfectly clear that I'm running out chances to actually do the right thing." Oliver shook his head before turning to change.
"She's still wearing the ring!" John called after him and Oliver stopped. "So yeah you messed up, but she's still wearing that ring. Right now she thinks she's all alone, that she can't trust anyone, but a small part of her seems to have hope that she's wrong, and the first step to proving that is showing her that you don't stay down when you get knocked down. That's how you survive any fight, and that's how you survive a marriage." Oliver glanced back to the man. "It's all tests, and how you pass them is what makes your relationship stronger."
At some point, walking into her apartment just became plain depressing to Katie. Tonight when she walked in, she stood at the door for a moment, almost feeling the emptiness that surrounded her. She always shook away the thoughts and buried them deep before walking inside.
She glanced down at her watch, before heading off to the kitchen. It only took a few moments to make the sandwich and grab a bottle of water before heading off down the hall. She stopped at the door that was always locked, and entered in the password. Once the door unlocked, she walked inside to the dark spacious room, before taking a seat her desk and grabbing her mother's journal.
"How was the meeting?" Katie didn't lift her eyes or make any indication of the sound of his voice. "I thought you seeking counseling was totally unnecessary at first, but I'm starting to believe I was wrong." Katie placed the journal on the desk and looked over to the man tied to the chair across the room. At this point his hair was disheveled, his clothes were a mess, and there was even a bit of an odor coming from that side of the room, and yet it did not phase Katie one bit. "I think your temper tantrum has lasted long enough, and it's time for you to let me go." Katie looked at him for a moment before erupting in laughter.
"You want me to let you go?" Katie asked, unable to even speak clearly through her laughter. "You're locked in a room and you can't see the faces of your loved ones, and you tell your captor you want to be let go." she shook her head as she stood to her feet and walked closer. "I'm sorry Jacob, I tried that and it doesn't work. Neither does sobbing until you believe you can't cry anymore, screaming for help until you lose your voice, and oh,-" she pointed to him with blatant sarcasm. "-begging mercilessly also just doesn't work." She walked over dropping into the seat in front of him. "This is your prison, and you don't leave until I say you leave."
"You're trying to teach me a lesson? To hurt me the way I hurt you, by locking me in a room and not letting me shower or use the restroom, that's not torture sunshine." Jacob replied. "Hell I did this whole show and dance on a mission in Serbia once, except those bastards kept playing this horrible mariachi song over and over again. Now that was torture." he looked at her for a moment. "You want me to apologize. To tell you how horrible I feel for all the things I've done for you-"
"For me?" Katie interrupted. She shook her head before standing to her feet. "You think this was a gift. That being trapped in that basement with Lian, or Sarab, whoever the hell he is, before being taken to my sadistic uncle demon, and then back with auntie Waller. Those were gifts you gave to me."
"I saved you. All those lessons, all the torture, they built the soldier you needed to be-"
"I am not a soldier!"Katie snapped angrily, stalking over and unable to stop herself from wrapping her hand around his throat. "I was your daughter. Your little girl, and you swore to me that you would protect me from the bad things in the world, but in the end you were the bad things in the world. Every problem I've faced has been because of you." There was a sudden knock at her door and Katie let out a sigh in annoyance. "That's probably your little errand boy, here to save his fearless leader. I was wondering when Martin was going to show up." Katie took a step back before turning and leaving the room, making sure to close it behind her.
When she walked over to the door, she didn't hesitate to jerk the door open, prepared to ream Martin for keeping her in the dark this whole time. She didn't expect to see Oliver instead. The man had been keeping his distance which she both appreciated and hated at the same time. They had yet to have an actual conversation about all of this, and even she wasn't sure where they should start.
"Twinkie-" the moment the nickname came out of his mouth, Katie was instantly annoyed with the conversation and tried to just close the door, but he quickly caught it stopping her. "Wait, please, we need to talk."
"I agree Oliver we need to talk, but I think our conversation should've started...how long has it been, weeks, months since you found out my father wasn't actually dead?" Katie shook her head before turning and walking away to place distance between the man. He simply followed her inside toward the kitchen. "Oliver, I don't want an apology or for you to explain your side of things, I just want you to leave and-"
"No." Oliver interrupted much to Katie's surprise. "I'm not leaving."
"Why not?"
"Because we have a problem that needs to be solved, and I'm not leaving until we talk this out." Oliver replied.
"I doubt talking is going to solve you keeping this from me, for inducting our friends in this lie and having them keep it from me too."
"Fine, if talking isn't the answer, then what is, we'll do that then. But I'm-" he took a step toward her, only for her to back away. "I'm not leaving this apartment until we fix this." he just shrugged. "Apparently that's what married people do."
"We're not married."
"No we're not, but I still have hope that one day we will and I think the fact that you're still wearing that ring, means that you do too." Oliver replied and Katie slipped her hand behind her back to hide the ring. "I love you, that means I will do whatever it takes to fight for us."
She didn't expect those words from him. Especially after hearing only a few months ago just how much of a distraction their relationship was for him. Even if she was angry at the man, a small part of her felt those girly butterflies at that declaration. "So you don't want an apology and you don't want to hear my side of this story, then tell me what do you want?"
"I want you to leave and-"
There was a noise, and they both heard it and both turned. Oliver moved to check it out, but Katie quickly moved to block him from leaving the kitchen.
"What are you doing?"
"It was nothing."
"How do you—is someone here?"
"Oliver, just please leave and we'll talk about this-" before Katie could even finish the sentence, Oliver had slipped passed her and was now searching for the source of the noise. He went to the bedroom, checked the bathroom, and then stopped outside of the door that was always locked. Katie walked over, meeting him at the door.
"Who's in there?"
"It's Lex. After the whole my dad's not so dead thing, I called him and-"
"I will seriously break this door down." Oliver said seriously and Katie's brow rose.
"And you'd seriously break your arm, that door is very strong and built to withstand much more then some jealous rage you have going on. Just leave and-" Oliver shook his head before stripping off his jacket. "What are you doing?" Oliver began inching away from the door. "You can't be serious. I was not kidding that this door is like super strong. You will hurt yourself trying to break it."
"Then tell me who's in there?"
"Why?"
"Because when you're pushed into a corner you go to a dark place to get yourself out of it." Oliver says and Katie stares at him for a moment before turning away. "I think that dark place is on the other side of this door, so either you open it or I open it." Oliver moved toward the door, but Katie stepped in front of him. "Who's in there?" Katie couldn't even find the words, and so she turned entering the password before stepping aside and letting the man in to see for himself.
The moment Oliver saw Jacob tied to the chair, he was actually speechless. When he imagined Katie's reaction to all of this, this scenario never came to mind, so in this moment he wasn't sure what to say.
"The night I got out of the hospital after watching my ex fiance blow his brains out, Jacob here thought a surprise visit was in order."
"I told you, it was time for me to stop hiding and-"
"Stop talking." Katie snapped before turning back to Oliver. "He stopped by-"
"You shot me, and tied me up and locked me inside of this room!" Jacob said and Oliver glanced between the two, still unable to form words.
"You were wearing a vest!"
"You didn't know that!"
"Alright, both of you, just shut up for a second!" Oliver yelled and they both stopped talking. Oliver turned to Katie who folded her arms over her chest. "You have to let him go."
"Why should I let him go? I spent years locked away because of him-"
"Yeah, well you're not him. You could never do that to someone no matter how angry you are." Oliver replied. "If you want to talk to him, then talk to him, but keeping him tied up in this room is just-" he glanced over to the man and just shook his head. "This is wrong Twinkie." Katie turned away, before glancing over to her father once again.
"It wasn't real." Katie said turning back to Oliver. "A crazy man strapped a bomb to my chest and told me my father was still alive, and then low and behold my dead father shows up at my door." Katie turns to the man sitting there, before walking over to him. "I remember sitting at your funeral wondering how I was gonna make it the rest of my life without you there. You left me you bastard, all alone, I thought it was my fault. I thought I was cursed or something. There was a target on my back and I thought it was getting everyone close to me." Katie reached forward, grabbing a hand full of the man's shirt. "This plan, this grand plan that sent your only child to hell, I hope it was worth it." Katie let go of his shirt and stood up straight. "The moment you walk out of that door, I don't want to see your face-"
"Sweetheart-"
"My father had stroke that sent him into a coma, and when he couldn't fight any longer, he just passed away." Katie said with a nod. "That's my father's story. You're the impostor who pretended to be my father, but now I see who you are. See underneath that mask you hide behind, and I will not be fooled any longer." Katie took in a deep breath, before slowly letting it go. She looked over to Oliver before turning and stalking out of the room.
There was a swiss army knife on the desk that Oliver grabbed before walking over to cut the ropes that bound the man. Once his wrists were free, Jacob didn't immediately stand to his feet and rush out of there. Truth was, he hoped the time she spent with him in this room somehow triggered some sort of emotional connection.
"You should go." Oliver said after a few moments and the man still hadn't moved.
"You don't have children yet Oliver." Jacob spoke, glancing over to the door. "One day you will, and one day you will understand just how far you'll go just to protect them."
"I just don't think I'll get far enough that my love will ever come into question." Oliver said and Jacob turned back to him. "It's time you start taking responsibility for the decision you made." Oliver walked over to the door, and opened it wider. "It time for you to leave."
Katie sat in the middle of her bed, legs folded as she waited. Soon she heard the distinctive sound of her front door opening and then closing and then a breath she didn't know she was holding, just came out on it's own. The door to her bedroom opened, and she looked up to see Oliver who stood watching her.
"Talk to me." Oliver said suddenly and Katie shook her head. "Twinkie-"
"Marriage has to be built on trust." Katie said looking back to the man. "You broke that when you made the decision to keep something this important from me."
"Tell me how do I fix it, because I'll do whatever you want to prove to you that I truly am sorry and nothing like this will ever happen again."
"Words Oliver." Katie said standing from the bed. "This isn't something that can be fixed with words." Katie took a deep breath before reaching her hand down to slide off the engagement ring.
"Katie, don't, please just-"
"You were right before." Katie said looking up to his eyes. "I do have hope that one day I will be Mrs. Oliver Queen, but that can only happen if I'm not doubting whether you're being honest with me." Oliver stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.
"That's...that's bullshit." Oliver said taking the ring from her hand, only to slip it back on her finger. "I know there are still things you haven't told me, things you think would upset me. This is you trying to push me away now."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because the darkness is better when there is no one there to try to pull you out of it." Oliver replied. "Trust me, I know, and I'm not going to let that happen to you. So you want to try to trust me again, fine, but it happens here. You and me as a soon to be married couple."
"Soon? What is soon?" Katie asked and Oliver smiled.
"Hey you didn't want to start with the details yet, but if you do-"
"No." Katie said holding up her hands. "I think if I planned a wedding right now then my head would explode. Plus there's this fear that when asked if there is anyone who object, Ra's and his whole league appear and kill all the guests." Katie said and Oliver stared at her blankly. "So my mind has gone there."
"Katie I didn't tell you about your dad-"
"Oliver, I don't-"
"I know, but I have to say this. I didn't tell you about your dad because he's already caused so much trouble for you while he was dead, I didn't want to give him the chance to do worse by knowing he was alive. I know it shouldn't have been my decision, that the moment I found out, I should've told you, but for some reason I still have this crazy idea in my head that I can still save you from some of the bad stuff."
"Well if it's any consolation, I have this crazy idea too that one day you will be able to save me from some of the bad stuff." Katie replied, before noticing a slight scar on Oliver's neck. "This is new." she placed a hand on the scar, and Oliver slightly hissed. "Someone have a knife to you throat recently."
"Sword actually." Oliver replied and Katie met his eyes with confusion. "Me and Thea have been training with Malcolm." Katie rolled her eyes before turning away. "I know you don't like the idea-"
"I don't like the idea, but I also don't understand the idea of working with Malcolm Meryln." Katie replied, but shook her head. "But I guess it doesn't matter. Team Arrow has been doing fine without my opinions and-"
"What are you talking about?" Oliver interrupted and Katie looked at him with a shrug. "Look I know this whole thing with your dad was bad-"
"Oliver my only motivation in all the years I was gone was coming home to my dad, so he could make it better. I held on to this fantasy in my head that one day I would come home and he would not be in a coma anymore and things would be able to go back to the way they were. But they didn't. He died, or at least I thought he died, and when that happened, a piece of me died. That piece of hope I held onto just died." Katie said suddenly feeling a tear on her cheek, and she roughly wiped it away.
"Katie-" Oliver once again attempted to take a step toward, to comfort her, but she only moved from his touch.
"You're right Oliver, this whole thing with my dad was bad. It was really bad, and what hurts the most is that the people I let in, the people I've become closest to were the ones who kept this from me. Oliver you can apologize and you can tell me every reason you have for what you did, but it doesn't change what happened."
"I know it doesn't change what happened, but nothing will change this. It can't be undone, the only thing that can happen is us moving forward." Oliver replied and Katie just let out a sigh.
"It's late, and you should get back to the loft with your sister." Katie said turning back to him. "Right now there are more important-"
"There are important things happening, but none of it is more important than you knowing that none us wanted to hurt you. We are a family, and you have to know that."
"I thought I did, I thought I knew what a family was. All I got were lies. Everyone lies, and I hate that, I hate being kept in the dark and then it's revealed how big of an idiot I was. I mean I was with you Oliver, we were right here, and I didn't even know you were holding on to this secret." Katie shook her head, wiping away more tears. "Once upon a time I knew Oliver Queen better than anyone in this world. I saw past the mask he put on for everyone else, but this time I didn't see it and that scares me."
"Katie, listen to me." Oliver moved to bring his arms around her and she tried to pull away, but he succeeded. She wanted to pull away, but as always once the man's arms were around her, absolutely nothing inside of her could pull away. She lifted her head, and his eyes stared deeply in to hers as he reached up to dry fresh tears from her cheeks. "I have no masks that I can ever hide behind with you. You see all of me, and that used to scare me, but it doesn't anymore." he placed a soft kiss on her cheek, the moved to her lips. The kiss seemed to be a silent promise that he hoped she could feel with every passing second. Soon it became heated, more passionate, and the fact that they hadn't seen each other in days was becoming more evident.
Oliver's hand slid around her waist, pulling her closer to him , and in a move neither expected Katie suddenly jerked away from a wide eyes Oliver.
"I'm still mad at you." she declared breathlessly, her body still buzzing. "This doesn't get solved with kisses, no matter how good of a kisser you are."
"Twinkie-"
"Oliver, go home. Keep your sister safe." Katie said and Oliver let out a huff before giving a nod.
"Fine, I'll go, but I'm coming back and you're coming to the club-"
"That-"
"It's happening. I'm not gonna let you push us away because you're angry and you're sad. We're going to be here for you whether you like it or not."
"That sounded an awful lot like an order." Katie said placing her hands on her hips, and Oliver couldn't help the small smile to came to his lips. "Something funny?"
"Nothing, you're just cute when you're angry."
"Well then I must be sexy as hell, right about now." Katie muttered with a shake of her head.
"I'm not gonna answer that because I don't think it will help the situation." Oliver said and Katie scoffed before grabbing a pillow from her bed and throwing it at him.
"Go, now!" she called and Oliver rose his hands in surrender before turning and walking from the room. She followed behind him, until they reached the apartment door and he turned to her. "What?"
"Are you alright?" Oliver asked. "I heard you went to the group counseling session, and I figure that was a pretty big step for you to take."
"It was, but I'm fine. It was a bunch people sitting around telling stories. It was like camp." Katie replied before reaching behind the man and pulling open the door. "It's late, you're becoming handsy and I feel I should make you suffer a little while longer, now go." Oliver let out a sigh as he walked out into the hall. He turned back to Katie once more. "Yes Oliver."
"You're still wearing the ring."
"I'm still wearing the ring." Katie sighed before lifting her hand that held the ring. "It's still kind of weird, but I'm wearing it." she looked back to the man. "No more secrets. No more lies or I swear I'm just going to kick the crap out of you."
"No more secrets." Oliver said before leaning forward and placing a kiss to her cheek. "I'm coming back tomorrow, and you're coming to the club."
"Fine." Katie replied before taking a step back "I'm not promising that there won't be an astronomical amount of swearing."
"No one is expecting anything less." Oliver said with a smile and Katie just rolled her eyes before swinging the door closed. "I love you, Mrs. Queen!"
She was so glad he couldn't see that stupid smile that came to her face after those words.
Katie wasn't sure how he did it, but the little annoying guy Bruce apparently sent was able to sneak her back into the United States undetected. She knew it probably took a lot of Bruce's money, but she didn't care. She was finally getting closer and closer home. Right now she's never been closer.
At the moment, her relief turned to nervousness as she sat beside Dick waiting to pull up to the guard posted at the gate to Ferris Air.
"So in your head, taking me, an apparent fugitive to an airfield filled with armed military guards is a smart plan? I mean, this wig and these glasses are a terrible disguise." Katie said glancing at herself in the mirror. The wig was blonde, and short and looked terrible in her opinion, and the glasses just seemed too big for her face. She glanced over to Dick who let out a snort. "This isn't funny?"
"It is because no one here is looking for you." Dick replied turning to her with an annoying smile. "I think the people looking for you are a little above the pay grade to be here."
"That doesn't make me feel better at all." Katie said turning away, as they began moving toward the guard. The guard bent down to look to both Dick and Katie.
"Can I see some identification please?" he asked and Dick gave a wide smile.
"Absolutely." he replied before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a driver's license along with a Wayne Enterprise name tag. "My name is Richard Grayson, head of Aeronautics over at Wayne Enterprises. I'm here to meet with Mr. Ferris about the new carriers W.E. is designing for the the airfield." the guard glanced between Katie and Dick before looking down to his clip board. Katie felt her heart ramming in her chest when he just didn't say anything.
"Alright." the guard spoke, handing the ID back to Dick. "Mr. Ferris' office is inside the base, to the left."
"Thanks." Dick replied, and when the gate opened he pulled inside.
"I can't believe that worked." Katie said once they were parking. "Is Wayne really designing carrier for this base."
"They actually are." Dick said turning to the woman. "I just have nothing to do with it. I'm more of a motorcycle guy."
"So where is this friend of yours?"
"I'm sure he's around. First we need to get our story together." Dick replied and Katie turned to him with a quirked brow.
"I thought researchers from Wayne was the story."
"Well I'm the researcher, I've been reading about that shit all night, you haven't and so we need a cover story for you." Dick said before reaching inside of his pocket and pulling out a diamond ring. "Will you marry me, sugar bear?"
Katie would never admit this out loud, but she usually didn't sleep when Oliver wasn't with her. So her nights were usually filled with some random task she would use to fill her time. Most of the time she used netflix, but other times she found herself on the roof. She sat with her legs crossed, eyes closed, trying to clear the one hundred and one thoughts spinning around her head since finding out about her father.
She thought bringing him here, looking at his face, watching his movements would help her believe this more, but she still couldn't. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that this was happening. Katie didn't know what it meant, she didn't know if his death was something he planned to be temporary or if it was supposed to be for the long hall. She needed to know the plan behind this, and that would only happen when she had an actually conversation with him. She didn't know how that would happen after tying him up and locking him her apartment, but it would have to.
Katie thought it a skill that she usually didn't get too lost in her thoughts. Her senses were usually wide open. That's how she heard the almost unnoticeable sound of displaced gravel.
"It's late, I'm not really in the mood for whatever this is." Katie muttered, not bothering to open her eyes.
"I've always admired your instincts Katherine." a familiar voice spoke, and Katie let out an annoyed sigh. "Now that I know whose blood runs through your veins, it all makes sense."
"Malcolm." Katie says standing to her feet and turning to face the man who was dressed in his dark archer clothing, a sword in hand. "You're dressed for a party. Am I invited?"
"Why are you here?" the man asked. "Ra's wouldn't just let you go."
"You think he sent me back here for you?" Katie asked taking a slight step, and Malcolm suddenly gripped his sword. "Oh you are terrified, aren't you? Well you will be happy to hear that I wasn't sent here by Ra's to kill you, what you won't like to hear is that I'm going to kill you." She began walking toward him, and he lifted his sword out toward her.
"You may have everyone here fooled, but you and I both know the demon wouldn't be defeated. He wanted you, he went to great lengths to have you, and there is no way in hell he would just let you walk away."
"I think his heart started to beat." Katie said with a shrug. "I think such a feeling scared the hell out of him." Katie reached forward, letting a finger slide across the blade of his knife. "I think you're right." she looked up meeting his eyes. "I can feel him inside of me, and I never quite understood what that was." she looked back to her finger that was now bleeding, and a smile curled at her lips. "I think you made a really big mistake coming here." without warning, she spun a kick to his hand, knocking the sword from his hand, and flying to the other side of the roof.
"Katherine-"
"You gave Thea a drug, and you told her to kill someone who meant a lot to many people." Katie said as the pair began circling each other. "Sara was a sister and she was someone's daughter, and she did absolutely nothing to you."
"She was hunting me, she was a threat and I chose to survive."
"No you chose to be a coward. You put the arrow in your daughter's hands and told her to shoot. You made her a murderer."
"I wish things could've been different, but-"
"But your life is more important than her innocence. Do you even understand what you've done to her?" Katie asked with a shake of her head. "You put that stain on her heart, that stain you and I both know can never be washed away. And now she's put in the middle of a fight that was never meant for her. Because of it, her life is at risk, Oliver's life is at risk, hell all of our lives are at risk, and yet here you are." Katie stopped moving, and took a long deep breath. "Of all the roofs in this damn city, mine was the very last one you should've decided to drop on." And without another word, Katie lurched forward.
Oliver was sure it was probably too early, but he wanted to surprise Katie with breakfast. He felt with everything that's been happening, trying to get back to the happy moments whenever they could was very important. So as he balanced the bag of groceries in his hand, he reached up letting out a sigh as his fingers found the spar key. He remembers a very long conversation with Katie about moving it, but it seemed to have gone in one ear and out the other. So when he unlocks the door, Oliver steps inside glancing around.
Everything is pretty quiet, and Oliver figured the woman was still sleeping. He dropped the groceries off onto the kitchen island, before stripping off his jacket and going to check on her. When he opened the bedroom door, he stopped when he saw the bed untouched.
"Twinkie?" he called, before walking over to the bathroom, but it too was empty. He stepped out, and his eyes instantly went to the open window across the room. Oliver quickly rushed over, before climbing out, and heading up to the roof. He didn't like this roof. It always reminded him of the night Katie was infected with number nine, and almost jumped. "Twinkie, are you-" Oliver stopped because he saw her, laying unconscious on the ground and he quickly ran over, kneeling to her side. "Twinkie." he placed a hand on her neck for a pulse, glad it was strong. He looked her over, noticing the slight bruises on her hand, he knows wasn't there last night. Oliver reaching up, cupping her face between his hands. "Twinkie, wake up." a heavy breath seemed to escape her nose, before her eyes flicked open, immediately assaulted with the sun.
"I'm still outside." her voice rasped.
"Yeah, you are." Oliver replied as he helped her to sit up. "What happened?"
"I had a visitor." Katie said grimacing at the soreness that seemed to move over her body. "Malcolm."
"Malcolm attacked you?" Oliver asked angrily.
"He put up a good fight, but he left here limping." Katie said before trying to stand up. Oliver quickly jumped up to help her. "He seems to think if I'm back, that-"
"Ra's sent you here for him." Oliver said with a shake of his head. "He tried to convince me of the same thing , but I told him that was ridiculous."
"I guess he didn't believe you."
"Don't worry, I will have a very long, probably painful conversation the next time I see Malcolm."
"Don't. I had him beat, he was on the ground and I had his sword, and I told him to leave." Katie said as they walked toward the fire escape. "I don't think he believes I'm a traitor anymore, plus I doubt he'll be making any appearances anytime soon."
"If he's smart he won't."
When they stepped back into the apartment, Katie decided to take a shower, and Oliver went to start breakfast. Even though his hopeful mood for the day was a bit ruined, he decided to try to salvage it as much as possible. Oliver headed toward the kitchen, just as there was a knock at the door. He stood a bit straighter as he walked over and looked through the peep hole, only to let out a relieved sigh at the sight of his sister. He quickly opened the door, and his sister looked up with wide eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Thea asked walking inside, and tossing her bag on the couch.
"You mean besides my fiance living here?" Oliver asked and Thea turned to him with a smile. "That's still weird to say."
"But it's nice, right." Thea said with folded arms. "So extravagant apology still in effect."
"Yeah, so what are you doing here?"
"Came to check on Twinkie, since I'm the only one still in her good graces." Thea said glancing around. "Where is she?"
"Shower." Oliver replied before nudging his head toward the kitchen, where Thea followed. "She was attacked last night."
"Was it the league?"
"No, your dad." Oliver said turning to the wide eyes of his sister.
"You're joking." Oliver just shook his head. "He still thinks she's here to take him back?" Oliver gave a nod. "That monster."
"Well I don't think so anymore, after she beat him and just let him walk away."
"That's more than I would've done." Thea muttered with a shake of her head.
"It's more than I expected her to do." Oliver sighed. "Look, until I can even look at Malcolm again-"
"He doesn't come near her, I get it." Thea said with a nod. She looked back over to her brother. "I just remembered that I have this thing at the club, I'm going to go." before her brother could ask any questions, the woman turned rushing out to the living room to grab her bag.
"Thea?" a voice spoke, and Thea looked up to see a freshly showered Katie in her robe. "I thought I heard your voice."
"Yeah, I stopped by to check in, but your future husband beat me to it." Thea said before looking down to her phone. "I actually have this thing to get to." she looked over to Katie. "I'll see you later." Once again, Thea rushed out before anyone could ask her any questions.
"That was weird." Katie said turning back to Oliver who walked over.
"Yeah, but my little sister has always been kind of weird. How are you feeling?" Oliver asked, his hands sliding to her waist and Katie turned with a quirked brow.
"A little sore, but fine. I'm going to get dressed." she said, trying to pull from his grasp. "You're still handsy this morning."
"What can I say, you bring it out in me, Twinkie." Oliver said, leaning in to kiss the woman, only for her to take a step back.
"I'm going to get dressed." she said once again before turning and walking back to the bedroom.
Katie wasn't too hungry, and chose to skip breakfast and just suggest heading to the foundry. Oliver simply agreed.
The drive was quiet, and Oliver found himself glancing over to the woman ever so often as she stared out the window. He knew she was still upset, that it would take more than a day for her to trust him again, and he was willing to wait for as long as necessary. He was just glad that she was even giving this a shot.
"Should it be small, or should we just go all out?" Oliver asked and Katie turned to him in confusion. "The wedding." he turned to her with a smile.
"Oliver, I thought we decided to wait on wedding stuff until after this whole Ra's may try to kill you and your sister thing." Katie said with a shake of her head.
"What, and that means we can't even talk about it?" Oliver asked as Katie turned back to look out the window. He turned back to the road as he continued."Well I would prefer a small wedding, with a cake made out of twinkies." he heard her snort, and he turned a smile to the woman. "I figured it would fit the occasion."
"You do, do you?" Katie asked with a shake of her head. "That stupid name will follow me to the grave. And to this day, I don't know which one of you idiots even started it."
"I don't even remember." Oliver replied with a shake of his head as he turned away. Katie glanced over to him with a sigh.
"It was you, wasn't it?"
"I don't remember, what does it matter?" Oliver said hoping to change the subject. "You were able to successfully turn something negative into something positive."
"No I wasn't. I just stopped getting mad when people say it." Katie replied.
"Ok, would you like Twinkie to end?" he asked and Katie turned to him with a quirked brow. "I mean I'm sure there are other things I could call you." he glanced over to her. "Dear-" Katie shook her head. "Cupcake."
"Absolutely not. No desert names ever."
"Ok, how about Honey?" Oliver asked and Katie laughed. "What, at least I'm trying. Admit it, nothing will ever be as perfect as Twinkie."
"I will never admit that Mr. Queen." Katie said with a sigh as she turned to look out the window once again.
"I'm sorry." Oliver said suddenly, and Katie didn't turn to him.
"I know. You want to know the truth?" she looked back over to the man. "I don't care that you knew before I did. That practically everyone knew before I did. Sure I'm upset that I wasn't told, but that's not what makes this whole situation so fucked up." she turned away once again. "I had this image of my father in my head, and day after day since learning of his part in the really shitty parts of our lives it's changed, but in the end he was still just my daddy. He was always my first hero and now-" she turned to Oliver, and he caught a glimpse of the pain in her eyes. "My hero broke my heart." Oliver reached over, taking her hand, placing a kiss to her knuckles.
"I'm sorry, Twinkie. For all of this. It sucks, and I would do anything so you wouldn't have to go through this." Oliver declared and Katie gave a sad smile.
"I know that already." Katie said before turning back to the calming sight out her window.
When they arrived to the lair, it was empty. They figured it was still pretty early and the others would be arriving later. Oliver watched as Katie walked around, her eyes looking over the place. He realized that she hadn't been here for a while. She ended up standing in front of the display case that held the Guardian's suit.
"What are you thinking?" Oliver asked, now standing behind her.
"A wedding cake made out of twinkies doesn't sound too bad." Katie said with a light chuckle as she turned to the man.
"Then it's settled." Oliver says wrapping his arms around Katie's waist, glad this time she doesn't pull away. "That's one thing check off the list."
"Leaving one million more." Katie replied as she looked up to the man's eyes. "Don't keep something from me because you think it will upset me."
"Ok." Oliver replied with a nod, and Katie brought her arms around his neck. "I promise. Are you still mad?"
"Anger is one of the emotions plaguing me at the moment." Katie muttered turning around to look at the suit. Oliver's hands around her waist, pulled her back to his chest, letting her head fall back against him.
"How many are there?"
"A lot." Katie sighed.
"That's why you went to the meeting." Oliver stated, but Katie didn't say anything. "Did it help?"
"Well the only advice I got was that I should talk more about how I'm feeling." Katie said and she heard Oliver lightly chuckle behind her. "I have never really been good at that."
"I'm very much aware." Oliver replied placing a kiss to the top of her head. "Whenever you're ready to talk about all the things going on in your head, I'm here."
"Well I am aware of that." Katie said lifting her head to meet his eyes. There was only one thought in the man's mind, and for the life of him he couldn't wait any longer, and so he leaned forward to capture her lips, only for her to turn away before he could. "You know since we're here..." Katie pulled from Oliver's grasp and walked over to the sparring mat where she there were a couple of swords hanging on the weapons wall. She grabbed one of the swords, twirling it a bit before looking back to Oliver. "Why don't you show me what you've learned."
"Well there is something I would rather do with you then spar." Oliver said as he walked over to her.
"Yeah, I know that, but you see, I'm going to make you work for it." Katie said before grabbing another sword and tossing it over to him, to which he easily caught it.
"Alright." Oliver said giving the sword a swing as well. He looked over to Katie who smiled wide, before slipping off her jacket, and pulling her hair up into high pony tail. Oliver found himself unable to turn away. When Katie turned back to him, she noticed his ogling and rolled her eyes.
"I'm not going to take it easy on you, because no one from the league will take it easy on you." Katie said grabbing her sword. "So you have to separate me from your opponent." Oliver walked over to the other side of the mat. "That means I'm not Twinkie right now. Right now I'm your enemy." Katie swung the sword, to which Oliver met with his own. "I'm Nura Al Ghul, a child of the demon." she swung once again, and Oliver quickly swung his sword to block her. "You didn't really think he would just let me go, did you?" Oliver seemed confused, and went to drop his sword, but Katie swung again, and he lifted his sword to block her. "He knows you're alive." another sharp swing, that he blocks, but this time barely. "He sent me to keep an eye on you."
"Twinkie, what-" Oliver made to drop his sword, but Katie spun around, swinging her sword into his, knocking it out of his hand. Before he could even try to grab it, she dropped, sliding a foot under his leg knocking him on his back. She takes a step forward, bringing her sword right above his neck. He looks up to her out of breath, but also very confused. "You're messing with me?" her face is completely blank, for a moment before she breaks out into a smile, lifting the sword over her shoulder.
"I am messing with you." Katie said before holding a hand out to him to help him to his feet. Oliver glanced up to her hand, before taking it, only to pull her down with him, causing her to fall right on top of him. Katie yelp before falling into a fit of laughter as Oliver rolled them over so he hovered above her. "I can't spar with you if you won't try to actually beat me."
"So you decided to try to trick me into not trusting you?" Oliver asked as he grabbed her leg and pulled it around his hip. "As if that were possible."
"It looked like it was working." Katie half moaned as Oliver hand slid up her thigh. "As if a part of you believes that maybe Malcolm was right, maybe-" Oliver stopped her words with his lips slamming into hers. After a few moments, he pulled back barely an inch, as they tried to calm their mingled breaths.
"You're not his monster." Oliver whispered knowing that those words were something she needed hear.
"What if I am?" she asked, only verifying his fear that this was something she'd been thinking heavily on. "You weren't there. When you're given the reigns to just let the darkness inside of you just come out-" she let out a shaky breath. "It was tempting. I could feel it every day, every fight." she closed her eyes not wanting to see him looking back to her. "I could feel it taking over."
"Then why didn't it?" Oliver asked and Katie opened her eyes to see him still staring with intensity. "Why am I now here with Katherine Robins, and not Nura?" Katie placed a hand on the side of the man's face and smiled.
"You see I have this voice in my head, it sounds like this guy I know. He just told me not to give up, and for some odd reason I listened." Katie said as Oliver once again bent forward to capture her lips.
"That's strange because you never listen to anything I say." Oliver muttered against her lips, as his hand soon found the button of her jeans, popping it open.
"I do, only to the words that aren't an order." Katie replied as she grabbed the bottom of his t shirt. Suddenly both their hands stopped when they heard the undeniable sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Both pulled back and turned to the wide eyes of Roy who just stood there before turning and quickly running back up the stairs. "He's going to make this a thing. We're never going to live this down." Oliver chuckled turning back to the woman, letting his fingers comb through her hair. "You know I could've sworn I beat you, how did we end up in this position."
"According to Felicity I do something with my eyes that gets women to do whatever I want." Oliver replied as he leaned down to once again capture her lips. For some reason he just could not get enough of this women. "Marry me." Katie laughed against his lips.
"You already asked me that, and I said yes." she replied.
"Good, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't still dreaming." Oliver said as Katie placed a hand to his cheek.
"We should get up before we have a bigger audience." Katie said and Oliver let out a sarcastic sigh before complying. He stood to his feet before holding out a hand to her Katie stand as well.
"You know everyone is going to be happy you're here. It's been a while since we've been a team." Oliver said and Katie just nodded. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I just got hot all of sudden. Are you hot?" she asked and Oliver just shook his head. "Maybe it's just me, I'm just going to go outside for some air."
"Are you sure you're alright?" Oliver asked and Katie nodded with a smile.
"Liver, I'm fine. I'm sure a little air will be what I need." she replied as she backed up toward the door. "I'll just be out back if you need me." she quickly turned, and rushed out the door in an effort to avoid anymore questions. Oliver was about to go after her, when he suddenly heard voices from the stairs.
"Roy, what are you-"
"Guys, just wait a sec-" Roy stopped halfway down the stairs and looked over to Oliver in confusion. "That was quick. For some reason I thought you'd go longer."
"Roy!" Oliver warned, and the young man simply held up his hands as John and Felicity shooed him down the stairs. "Where's Laurel? She should be here."
"No idea, but I"m sure she's coming." Felicity said as she walked over and dropped her bag, and jacket to her chair. She looked around their lair, before turning back to Oliver. "Did she come?"
"I doubt it." Roy muttered and Oliver glanced over to him."Dude it was seriously quick-"Oliver took a step toward the man who almost stumbled backwards. Oliver just shook his head before turning to Felicity.
"Yeah, she said she needed some air." Oliver replied glancing back to the door. "You know I should-"
"Let me." Felicity suggested and Oliver nodded. He knew these past couple of days had been tough on everyone, Felicity more so than anyone beside Katie herself. He watched as the woman took a deep breath before heading out the door.
"So I guess if she's here, then talking actually worked?" John asked walking over to Oliver who gave a nod.
"I think it did, but there's still a lot she's not saying." Oliver said with a shake of his head. "There's still a lot I think she's processing."
"I guess finding out your dead dad isn't so dead and that all your friends knew and didn't say anything." Roy said gaining a glare from Oliver. "What? Look I'm just preparing myself for when she rips us a new one for keeping this from her." He glanced between John and Oliver. "Just so you guys are aware, I'm totally throwing everyone under the bus on this one."
"And here I was thinking this was a team." John said with a shake of his head.
"It is, until she gets that scary look in her eyes, then I'm out." Roy replied before going over to take a seat.
"So is she still wearing the ring?" John asked and a smile came to Oliver's face as he gave his friend a nod. "See I told you, there's always hope my friend."
The moment Felicity stepped outside, she became nervous. She had no idea why, because of all the people in her life, Katie was the one person she felt she could tell anything to. In her world, surrounded by so many strong men, she was glad there was another woman there, someone she could be a girl with.
She spotted Katie instantly, her back to her as Felicity walked over.
"Oliver said you came out to get some air, and I thought-" Felicity started but stopped and let out a heavy sigh. "I know you're angry, with all of us for keeping this from you and I totally understand. It was shitty of us to do, but I promise that this will never happen again, we are a family and-" she heard heavy breathing coming from Katie, and she lifted a hand to touch her shoulder, but Katie quickly whipped around grabbing the woman's wrist. "Katie?" Katie looked to the woman with wide eyes, her breath seeming unnaturally labored. Katie let Felicity go, before hunching over and grabbing her knees trying and failing to catch her breath. "Katie, what's wrong, what-"
"I'm having...a panic...a panic attack." Katie said lifting her eyes to Felicity.
"What do I do? Tell me what to do?!" Felicity said panicking as well.
"Felicity, I can't-" Katie closed her eyes, her head suddenly too foggy to even think. "I don't know what...I don't know what to do."
"Hey, it's going to be alright." Felicity attempted to be calm as she placed her hands on Katie's shoulder. "We're going to get some help." Without hesitation the woman turned back to the club.
"We need some help!"
Author's note:
Sorry for the wait, but here you are!
Review Replies:
Elliebelle4444: You know I thought about the moment Katie would see her father, and how she would react, and I figured after learning so much abut him and what he did to her, it just had to be big. It had to be unexpected, and well I think that happened.
Adela: I'm glad you liked it. The reunion of the Robin's just had to be unexpected and explosive.
rockyroyal,dr: No, I'm thinking this engagement will change the dynamic of their relationship. I think John's conversation with Oliver really shows the newfound bond. They're actually thinking like a married couple, so walking away isn't going to be easy. Katie's hesitation about planning this wedding is something we're going to see a lot of until Ra's is no longer a threat, but she's actually going to get some advice from a very unexpected source in later chapters. Oh, and the David/Reverse flash story arc isn't over. We will find the reason behind the alliance and you won't believe what it is.
Once again, sorry for the wait. I want to thank you all for sticking this out with me. I appreciate you all. And now a sneak peek into the next chapter.
"Now I have blood on my hands. Now I can kill someone and not even show an ounce of remorse, but die little by little on the inside." she nodded, as she took another step. "I can shoot a man and decide if the shot leaves him alive, or kills him. I can throw a knife and make sure when it's pulled out, you won't even be able to speak anymore."
"That's enough-"
"No, it's not enough!" Katie snapped angrily. "I wasn't enough! You had to make me more, you had to ignite the darkness inside of me. You bastard if I had a gun right now, I would shoot you again."
"Will that make you happy?" Jacob asked before reaching behind him and pulling out the glock he had tucked in his pants and holding it out to her. "Take it. Shoot me. Keep pulling the trigger until you're finally ready to stop sulking in this. When you're ready to stop playing the victim and-" Katie reached for the gun, but Jacob pulled it back. "You were really gonna shoot me?"
"And take pleasure in it." Katie said before once again turning to leave.