Happy Valentine's Day, angels :)

Here's an update for you!

I woke up to the shrill ringing of a phone that wasn't mine.

Something beneath me shifted and I realized it was Damon, pulling his arm free from where I'd been using it as a head rest.

I kept my eyes shut and buried my face into the pillow as he answered the call.

His voice was gravelly, as if he'd been in a deep sleep, and I could tell from the few words he shared that it was someone from the Pack that had called.

Probably Alaric.

I sighed, and peeled my eyes open.

Since Damon was behind me, all I could see was the hotel room, slightly illuminated by the sunlight coming in through the window shades.

Clothes were on the floor, reminding me of the long night I'd just had, and I pushed the thought away.

Guilt wasn't going to fix anything.

I forced myself to turn, pulling the white sheets up to cover my naked torso, and let my eyes fall on Damon.

His back was to me, his feet over the edge of the bed as he spoke quietly into the cell, which allowed me to do a inconspicuous observation of his body.

Scratch marks left by my nails were practically all healed and fading, and the tension that had laced his shoulders for the past few weeks seemed less prominent.

Remnants of the wound he'd received yesterday were visible from where I was laying and the cuts appeared to be scarred over completely.

Another day or so and they would be gone completely.

I shook my head at the wonder of my new biology, and ironically, felt a slight pull of pain in my neck.

My hand shot up to feel the indention of Damon's bite.

Again, it seemed to have healed over, but would probably still be noticeable for at least the rest of the day.

I dropped my hand and let my eyes close once more.

Damon finished with his conversation, then placed the phone back on the night stand.

"Tennessee's Pack is going to keep an eye on the town," he told me, pulling the blankets back over himself as he settled back into the mattress, "They thank us for taking care of the problem."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, given that "taking care of the problem" had meant we killed a...well, not exactly another person, but still.

Damon had taken someone's life.

Someone who had been murdering humans, I reminded myself.

It still didn't feel right, but knowing that this could mean innocent people would be safe certainly helped.

Though it seemed ridiculous that the Mutt had even taken such a risk at all.

According to what I'd learned during my time down in the basement, Mutt's knew the rules of the Pack, and what breaking them could mean.

So why had this one in particular decided that hunting humans was a good idea?

I decided to ask Damon, hoping that at least one part of this trip could make sense.

"He knew the Pack would hunt him," I started, moving to lay on my side, "Why take the risk just to kill some people?"

Damon shifted his head so he could look at me, seeming a little surprised at my question.

"You've hunted with the Pack before?" he confirmed, and I nodded.

"So you know the thrill of it. The tracking...the feeding on your prey. It's in our blood to hunt," he said this very matter of factly, "For some of us, the feeling of hunting something as intelligent as humans...it's addictive. As is the taste of human blood, once you get enough of it."

I swallowed thickly, his words bringing up more question.

"Alaric and the others told me that you…" I hesitated, unsure that I wanted to get that personal right now, but Damon's weighted gaze had me continuing, "That you were turned when you were really young. They said you lived alone for a few years...and that during that time you'd...that you-"

"Killed?" Damon finished for me.

I nodded again, and so did Damon.

"I didn't know what I was, or what had happened. As a wolf, the emotions were easier to deal with, so I stayed in that form as much as possible, and the hunger," he paused, calculating his words, "It didn't matter what it was. Something crossed my path and I attacked. It was survival...but what the Mutts do...it's not. They kill without reason. It's pathetic and it's just so...human...to kill for pleasure."

He said the word with so much disdain that I didn't bother to respond.

Finding out Damon had killed had honestly been less surprising to me than the werewolf bombshell, so I had tried not to dwell on it.

But his words made sense, and in a way, I was relieved for them.

"Does it bother you?" Damon asked, his eyes studying my face, "Knowing I've killed someone?"

I shook my head, "No. My first few weeks after…" I flushed a little, skipping the memory of his biting me, "After I turned, I got away from Alaric and headed for town in wolf form. I almost attacked a woman and her kid. Would have, if Alaric hadn't of stopped me in time. So, I get it."

His expression didn't change, but something in his gaze softened at my words.

Then he was reaching through the sheets, pulling me to him.

And like a fool, I let him.

I couldn't help it.

The whole moment felt as close to normal as I'd been in weeks, even if we were talking about murder, and I was going to have plenty to grill myself for already, so what was the harm in being selfish for just a moment?

My head came to rest against his shoulder, fitting under his chin, and my hand laid on top of his bare stomach.

Damon inhaled the scent of my hair and I fought to control my own breathing.

If I tried hard enough, maybe I could pretend that the past few months hadn't happened and that we were still in that shabby hotel off campus, just enjoying some time before class.

I ran my hand down the length of Damon's torso, before trailing back up again, brushing through the hair on his chest.

I repeated the motion until my heartbeat steadied and I was breathing normally; comfortably.

I was at peace with him.

Or at least, I would be if his fading scars weren't there to remind me that we were not in fact near campus or even together anymore and that this was just pretend.

I sighed and maneuvered so that I was resting on my elbow, and glanced over at his healed wound again, "Are you feeling better?"

Damon followed my gaze, and observed his injury, "Yeah, it's pretty much healed."

I nodded, "Good. Then we should probably be getting back on the road soon."

Even as I said the words, I felt the protest in my body to pull away from his embrace.

Damon apparently, had the same feeling.

"We're not in that big of a rush," he said, sitting up slightly and turning, so that he hovered over me, "We can take a minute."

"Damon-" I started my rebuttal, but he'd moved again, pressing his very naked body into mine and taking my back to the bed so that I was under him.

His gaze was heavy, his expression heated.

"Tell me you don't want this," he breathed, "And we can leave right now."

I opened my mouth, wanting to tell him to go to hell, but his body shifted and all that left my lips was a shallow hiss.

"I can smell that you do," he purred in my ear, "So don't lie to me."

A little turned on and a lot annoyed, I growled and thrusted my body faster than Damon could have expected.

I used his unbalance to flip us, so that he was beneath me and I was straddling his hips.

"Of the two of us," I challenged, "Which one of us is the liar?"

Even though Damon's stare was full of desire, and I could feel said desire beneath me, he answered with, "I've apologized all that I can for what I did."

Frustrated anger spread through nerves, making my words crack as I spat them.

"I don't forgive you."

Before he could respond, I reached between us and placed the head of his erection in me.

"And I'm done talking." I sank down on him.

I cried out at the intrusion, taking him to the hilt, and Damon's head fell back in pleasure, his eyes closing as his hands jumped to my waist.

I rode him mercilessly, my palms on his chest for balance as my hips snapped back and forth at a pace that left me breathless.

Damon's fingers dug into me so hard that it's a wonder my bones weren't snapping, but I relished the pain.

The feeling of something other than whatever was going on between us.

This was easier.

"Fuck kitten, " he growled and I covered his mouth with my hand.

"Shh," I panted, "I said no talking."

Damon's hips were thrusting upward, bucking so hard that I moved my grip to his shoulders just to stay in place.

He took advantage and rolled us again, taking over with a hard surge that nearly had me coming on the spot.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him deeper, and my nails dug into his back.

This was what we were good at; fucking to avoid talking.

Punishing each other with our bodies, until we were both calling out in pleasure.

My orgasm built first, along with the need to give Damon my neck.

The instinct was so strong, it reminded me of one of Alaric's alpha commands.

There was no question of obeying it.

My head turned and I pulled my hair away; a clear gesture.

Damon's mouth fell to my throat.

Unlike the night before, however, instead of scoring me with his teeth in a rushed need to mark, he kissed my skin.

His tongue ran the length of it several times, and only then did I feel the tips of his canines.

The pain hardly registered as he bit down slowly, piercing the skin, and I reached the edge of my pleasure.

Damon came just after I did, riding out both of our orgasms with a few more short thrusts before he stilled and his teeth left my neck.

I felt his tongue again, licking at the wound, and he kissed it before pulling away to meet my gaze.

There was a wonderment in his eyes that spoke of a gratitude I didn't want.

He kissed me and I tasted my blood on his lips.

I bit down, drawing some for myself, and Damon moaned.

When I released him, his mouth parted in a little smile, "Wolf looks good on you."

The wolf he'd forced onto me.

I pushed him away from me gently, and sat up, dragging the sheet along.

"I'm going to shower," I told him, not bothering to look in his direction, "Go get the duffel bag from the car so we can change clothes. Then you can shower or whatever and we'll head out."

He might have nodded, but I didn't check.

I just walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

The house was quiet, such a rarity within itself that I couldn't help but take advantage of the situation.

All the young were asleep, Damon was out doing a final perimeter run, and I was curled up on the couch in the living room, a book in hand.

It wasn't cool enough to need a fire, so I used one of the lamps on the table stand for light, enjoying the slight yellowish glow it gave the room.

Quiet.

Peaceful.

Then I heard giggling and a short curse word as Caroline and Klaus stumbled into the room, their arms locked around each other, clearly heading for the stairs in the foyer.

I cleared my throat when they started kissing, making sure they were plenty aware of their company.

From the way Caroline jumped and span around, I'd guess that she was not.

"Oh. Elena, hey," she blushed, and I smiled.

"You heading up?"

Klaus's arms came around her waist and she smiled, despite being embarrassed, "Um yes. Yeah. We are. The boys are still asleep, right?"

I nodded, "I checked on them about half an hour ago and everyone was in bed where they were supposed to be."

She nodded and thanked me as Klaus lifted his chin, "Damon hasn't made it in yet? He was behind me when I came into the yard."

I shrugged, "I haven't-."

But even as I spoke, something caught my eye and I looked over to see Damon entering the room, nothing but a pair of jeans slung low on his waist.

"Hey, kitten."

"There you are," I smiled, "We were just talking about you."

"Everything alright?" Klaus checked, and Damon glanced over at him and Caroline, "Yeah, we're good. You two can head up."

Klaus nodded, taking his mate's hand and leading her from the room as Damon strolled over to me tiredly.

"Hey baby," I opened my arms for him, and he fell into them, laying out on the couch.

I set my book down in exchange for running my hand over Damon's shoulders, "You sure you're okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah, just tired. Did the newbies make it back home alright?"

I let my fingers brush through his hair, "Yeah, the packs called a few hours ago with confirmation. Elijah also called. He's going to be stateside in a few days."

Damon nodded, "Klaus will be happy to hear it."

"Caroline's supposed to tell him," I smirked, "But I'm not sure how much talking they're going to be doing tonight."

Damon chuckled a little, his eyes closing as his arms wrapped around my middle, "Is that why the room smelled like sex when I walked in?"

"Probably. I swear, she's going to be pregnant again at the rate they're going."

My mate lifted his head, a smile in place, "Well if you remember, it was difficult for us to keep our hands off of each other for quite a few years in the beginning."

I laughed, "What the hell are you talking about, you still can't keep your hands off of me."

"You're right about that," he teased, making a point to grab my waist and maneuver us so that I was practically under him.

He nuzzled against my neck, kissing the skin, "I like having my hands on you."

I smiled, touching our foreheads together, "You hands, your scent, your mark...is their anything you don't like on me?"

"Your clothes," he answered, kissing my lips now, and I melted beneath him, more than willing to go along with his lifting my shirt above my head, but then Caroline's panicked voice came into the room.

"Elena!"

I jumped up, and even Damon's attention was diverted as the blonde flew into the room, Klaus right behind her.

"What's wrong?" I demanded.

"Michael and the twins are gone!"

The trip back to the Manor seemed longer than the one leaving it, despite the fact that both times had been filled with tension.

Damon's eyes would trail over to me on occasion, and he would reach across the space between us to touch my knee or my arm.

When I'd flinched away from him, he'd quit trying, and had instead, turned up the music on his radio in order to drown out the silence.

In truth, I just wasn't sure what to say to him.

I didn't know if I was sorry for what had happened between us on this trip, but I wasn't exactly happy about it.

Part of me was kicking my own ass for making such a stupid mistake.

It was wrong to give Damon false hope by falling into his arms at every turn when I had absolutely no intentions of trying to move on with our relationship.

But then, he knew that, and another part of me was callously suggesting that I should take anything I wanted from Damon without giving a second thought to his personal feelings because he surely didn't give a shit about mine when he stole my humanity from me.

"But what about your personal feelings?" asked another part of me that just hurt.

Hurt because I loved him, because I wanted him still, and because I couldn't be with him.

My mind was in such an overload that when Damon finally did speak, he had to repeat my name a time or two before I heard him.

"What?"

"I said we're almost home."

I glanced out the window and, sure enough, spotted the dark greenery of Mystic Falls.

A few more roads and we'd reached Pack land, the entrance to the driveway a welcoming relief.

Hours in a car with your existential crisis could leave a girl feeling a bit stiff.

Alaric was waiting on the front porch, George standing next to him as they spoke.

Damon parked his car and the moment the ignition died, I was out the door.

The older males smiled as I approached the steps, "You made it."

I forced my own lips up, "Finally."

"Everything okay here?" Damon asked, coming up behind me.

"Quiet," Alaric assured him, "How're you healing?"

Damon lifted his shirt to show of his nearly non existent wounds, "Faded now. Venom must have run its course."

"Must have," the Alpha agreed, "Good to hear."

I decided not to stick around for the hey-how-you-doings and gave Alaric a small pat on the shoulder as I walked by him into the house.

It felt good to be back in the Manor, the noises and voices of the others filling the air in a way that made me feel less empty.

I went for the stairs, thinking that a nice long soak in my tub would help me feel less roadtrip-y and gross, but passed Mason and Enzo on the way up.

"Hey, baby girl, you're back!" Mason grinned, pulling me into his embrace.

I laughed at his exuberance, "It's literally only been two days."

"A long two days without the only person in this damn place that appreciates my wit."

Enzo rolled his eyes, "She really doesn't. She's just too polite to tell you how stupid you sound all the time."

I giggled again as Mason shot his Pack brother a dirty look, "Bite me...and speaking of biting…"

His head turned back to me, eyes dropping to my neck with all the subtlety of a hand grenade, "Glad to see the two of you are working things out with each other. Or on each other might be more appropriate."

I turned red and punched his arm, "We are not. Not that it's any of your business! And besides, you don't know it was Damon that-"

"Bit you?" Enzo cut in with an amused gleam in his cinnamon colored eyes, "It wasn't a hard deduction."

"Not to mention that his scent is all over you," Mason teased, "And you're telling me you didn't get a little wild in the sheets?"

"I'm telling you that it's none of your business," I snapped, still blushing, "And don't you both have better things to do than patronize me?"

"No."

"Not really."

Great.

"Well I have things to do," I said, pushing past them, "So if you don't mind-"

Two things happened before I got my sentence out.

One, Mason playfully slapped my ass as I ascended the stairs.

Two, Mason was then ripped off said stairs and was held against the wall of the foyer by his neck, Damon's face an inch from his own, canines exposed as he let out an inhuman growl.

"What the fuck, man?" Mason choked, as Alaric and George rushed in at the noise and I hurried down the stairs.

"Damon!" Alaric barked, but he wasn't listening.

"Keep your hands off of her or I'll rip them from your body," my ex hissed, "Understand?"

"Damon, stop!" I gripped his arm.

He pinned Mason with one last warning glare, then dropped his hand from the male's throat.

I went to Mason and made sure he was okay, as Alaric asked "What are you doing, son?"

Damon didn't even bother to answer, and a rolling wave of pissed off hit me as he turned to leave.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I demanded, leaving Mason's side to chase after him.

"Making a point," he said, heading for the stairs.

Enzo was smart enough to get out of our way.

"What point?! What the fuck, Damon?!"

He turned when we were on the second floor landing, getting all up in my personal space, "You're mine. No one else is going to touch you."

I slapped him.

Hard enough that the sound of it echoed down the hall, and Damon's eyes flashed in a way that promised me I'd be dead if I were anyone but who I was.

But I was past feeling fear.

"I am not yours anymore, you bastard. You made damn sure of that!"

He let out a low growl, getting impossibly closer.

His hand came up to my neck, and his thumb pressed roughly against the bite mark he'd left this morning.

"You will always be mine," he said quietly, a slow anger still burning through him that fed my own.

"Whatever delusions you need to believe to justify your actions are your business," I spat, pushing him away from me, "But let's be clear about something. You do not own me. And you lost the right to come after guys for touching me the day you bit me, so leave them out of this."

Damon bared his teeth, refusing to back away, "The hell I will. Your heart is hurt but your body screams for me. I will not let another male-"

"Screw you," I bit, shoving him, "I can do whatever the hell I want, with whoever I want, and you have no right to say a damn thing about it!"

"Not even when what you want is me?" he demanded.

My jaw flexed as I swallowed back tears of frustration.

"Yeah well, you fucked that up for both of us, didn't you?"

I left him then, going to my room so I could put a closed door between us.

Any longer staring into those blue eyes would lead to either me attacking him or kissing him, and I'd hate myself for both right now.

I took a few settling breaths, then stripped my clothes and went into my bathroom.

Kicking on the water in the shower, I caught my reflection in the mirror.

The girl staring back was hardly recognizable to me.

Her eyes were full of a deep rage, her lean body tense and somehow animalistic in its movements.

But she looked alive.

Red flushed cheeks, strong heaves of her breath making her chest rise and fall.

Her neck was marked and freshly bruised from desperate fingers, and there was a predatory edge around her that would make you think of danger.

It was like arguing with Damon had lit not just my temper, but my body as well.

I was the wolf in human skin.

The anger bled out of me as I stared at myself, and once again I just felt hopeless.

Sad.

Lost.

There was nothing I could do to change the past, yet my footing in the present was so unstable.

I was just waiting to fall.

With a sigh, I shook my head and pulled my eyes away from the mirror, in favor of warm water.

The shower was steamy and calming.

I let the sprays run over me until the chill that had settled in my veins was gone, and my chest had eased.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there with my skin turning red from the heat, when my bathroom door opened.

I didn't bother asking who had come in; I already knew.

Just like I knew he was stripping his clothes and there was no surprise when the shower curtain pulled back a moment later and he stepped in behind me.

I didn't speak or even open my eyes as I remained where I was, under the water.

Damon's hands came to my waist, gentle and quiet.

I felt his chest brush my back and his forehead dropped to touch the back of my head.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his lips brushing against my hair, "I'm sorry."

I turned slowly, wiping my eyes before looking up at him.

His expression was one of utter brokenness, holding me in place as he lowered, pressing our foreheads together.

"I don't want you to be owned," he said, "Not by me or anyone. And I didn't plan on attacking Mason. It's just that having you back...you chain me, Elena. You chain me with your body and your pain, and when it comes to you, I'm not rational. I never have been."

His hand came up to cup my neck, caressing his bite, "I lose my fucking mind...but I know that's no excuse."

"It's not," I agreed in a whisper, and he nodded, "I know. But it doesn't matter. I'm always going to belong to you, as surely as part of you will belong to me. You wouldn't be this pissed if you didn't love me."

"Damon-"

"You love me," he said again, coming forward until my back hit the shower wall and the spray ran over us both.

I sighed, "Damon, we can't do this."

"We already did," he reminded me, his eyes darkening.

I stared up at him, "Last night was a mistake."

His gaze didn't waver, "And this morning?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm not trying to make any more," I told him, "So please….just go."

His thumb moved up to brush my cheek, catching the tear that slipped from my eye.

"I can't do that, kitten. Not now."

His lips touched my temple and lingered there.

His body was hard against mine, each muscle tensed and ready for what only we could give each other.

"I'll hate you if you do this," I breathed, dropping my gaze as his mouth trailed down my cheek.

"You'll hate me anyway," he reasoned, our noses touching, "But I can make this better. Give me the chance to fix it."

More tears fell as he pressed our lips together.

"You can't," I said, but I kissed him back.

Nothing could fix the past.

Our kisses deepened and Damon took me into his arms.

My legs wrapped around him, his dick slid home, and I pretended to hate it.

Water ran over our skin, my nails made Damon's shoulders bleed, and we fucked in the shower.

Instincts took control again, demanding domination; demanding submission.

We ignored them for as long as possible, and when we couldn't, I gave Damon exactly what our wolves wanted.

He marked me as his and damn me, but I was.

As long as I was here, as long as I let him claim me…

I was his.

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