Chapter Two: Exoneration
Throwing my clothes into the corner of the bathroom, I turned the water on, stepping under the stream before it was even warm. For a few long moments goosebumps covered every inch of my skin. A shiver ran through me but I didn't let it show. Just standing there, drenching my hair under the stream, I took a long deep breath, attempting to calm myself down. It wasn't a few minutes more when Eric appeared, stripping and attempted to get into the shower with me. Putting my hand against his chest, I shoved him back, slamming the shower door back into place.
"Pen, why do you always act like this?" He shot at me through the door. Sliding it open, I punched him across the cheekbone. It was just hard enough to make my point without having to use words. He laughed and gently touched his cheek. "Wow. Way to use your words, babe."
"You're an asshole." I told him, crouching down against the wall.
"No, I'm not." He added, crouching down against the wall across from me.
The door to the shower was partially open, just enough so I could see most of him. I wanted to shut it, feeling awfully emotional in this moment, but at the same time I wanted to be able to see him. "Why have you decided to keep putting yourself in dangers way for Tris?" I asked him softly.
"Nothing is going to go wrong."
"And yet plan B may lead to all of us being shot to death." I frowned at him, tears welling in my eyes. "Why can't we just try and have a little bit of a normal life."
"What part of what's happening will allow for a normal life?" He shot back at me with a heavy frown. "What about our world is normal? What is normal, Pen?"
"Going to sleep with you and waking up to you." I told him, seeing his expression soften. "Training like we used to. Finding a job and purpose amongst our faction. Laughing at the little things and arguing about things that don't matter. Having sex and lounging naked in each other's arms." For a long moment we just looked at each other. "That's normal to me."
"Nothing is going to go wrong." He told me again.
"A life with you is all I'm asking for. Why can't you just step down and let Four take care of his own shit?"
"Because he's family."
Laughing, I shook my head, "Since when?"
"Five years." He replied.
"Yeah, that's how long he's been my family. When did he become family for you?" I replied, my tone short.
"The day I fell in love with you." He replied gently.
It was my turn for a softened expression. "So are you doing this for him or for me?"
"I'd like to think I'm doing it for all of us." He replied. "I want his trust and his respect. The more I help him the more I will earn both of those."
"And how is it for me?" I frowned. "Because all I seem to be getting out of it is worrying for the love of my life, the brother I've always wanted, and the sister-in-law that drives me crazy. I hate to sound narcissistic but what is this plan doing for me?"
He smirked and shook his head, "Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing here."
"Ha!" I exclaimed. "You and me both."
Staring at each other, a real smile crossed his face, "I do love you, Pen. Even when you're pissing me off."
"I'm not very happy with you right now either. Makes me second guess things that both of us have done. Decisions that have been made." I told him with a serious expression. His smile faltered and he lowered his eyes. "But I'm not lying or over exaggerating when I say that you're the love of my life." He met my eyes again. "You drive me crazy. I get that you're still making amends. I get that you want Four's trust. I get why you're doing everything that you are, I just –" I said and stopped, shaking my head as I looked away from him.
"Pen." He said softly.
Meeting his eyes again, a tear slid down my cheek. "I remember in vivid detail the second you died." I told him softly. "And I don't want to ever have to relive it or feel anything like it again."
He sighed and got up, letting himself into the shower. It was barely big enough for us to sit side by side, our knees bent and leaning against each other. He was still across from me, his eyes meeting mine. Shaking my head again, he put his hand against my calf. Leaning forward, I took his hand in mine.
"I know I'm playing Amity, but I can't help it. I remember you not breathing. I remember your heart not beating. I remember you being confirmed dead by more than just me. I saw you. I held you. So when you and Four come up with another plan that could end in disaster, you can't blame me for getting a little emotional."
"No, I can't." He told me gently. "I'm sorry, baby."
"It's not just that, Eric." I frowned at him. "It's your lack of partnership when you make these decisions."
He frowned, "Me and Four have been working out all the kinks together and we –" He sighed and nodded at me. "I've made them all without you."
Nodding, feeling tears again, I attempted to hide them. "You're the most important thing to me, Eric. It kills me when you make these decisions without me when I'm standing right there."
"I know." He said softly.
"So why do you keep doing it?" I frowned. "Why, Eric? Do you enjoy making me regurgitate all my emotions for you?"
His brows furrowed, "Not when you put it like that."
Laughing lightly, my anger toward him was faltering. Seeing it, he pulled me into his lap, his arms wrapping around me. Sighing, I put my hand against his face, my other arm around his shoulder. He put his forehead against mine.
"I'm going to be so mad at you if you get yourself killed. If there is even one scratch on you, someone's head will roll."
He laughed and kissed me softly. "And vice versa. You know I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know." I replied softly.
"We're not going to need plan B." He stated matter-of-factly.
Sighing again, I kissed him passionately, my tongue slipping into his mouth. "I love you."
"I love you."
Showering, we got dressed in silence. Things still felt a little tense between us and I didn't know what to do to make it better. Watching him, he seemed to be content with everything. In his mind everything had been talked through and we were good. And we were. But it still didn't make everything go away. I was still worried and I was still pissed that he was making these decisions without me. That he didn't seem to care that something might happen to him.
"You promised me." I told him, feeling the need to remind him.
"What?" He replied with slightly furrowed brows.
For a long moment I held his eyes. "After you got me out of Erudite. You promised me that you would be more careful."
He sighed and nodded at me. "I remember."
"Good." I nodded, expecting a little more from him but I wasn't going to push it.
Turning to the door, Tris was going to be put on trial any minute. I wanted to be at Four's side when it happened. Just in case he needed me. Just in case she needed me. I'd only managed to open it a few inches before Eric's hand appeared, pushing it shut again.
"Why are you reminding me of that?" He asked.
Looking up at him, I sighed, "Because you haven't been very careful."
He sighed, putting an arm on either side of me. I could feel his chest against my back. Turning, his head was bowed and he was taking slow steady breaths. Bringing my hands to the sides of his head, I pressed a kiss into his hair.
"I know." He finally said pushing himself away from the door. "But I can handle it."
Smiling, I wrapped my arms around myself, "Then I guess the roles have been reversed. You're now stronger than me."
"No." He said shaking his head. "And if I am it's your fault."
"How sweet of you." I smirked at him.
He laughed lightly and nodded. "I might be on a bit of a high with this whole doing good thing."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Before you I never had anyone in my corner." He replied. "Jeanine and Max weren't exactly nurturing. Neither was anyone else I ever had to deal with. You did your job or you faced the music. So having you and Four and Claude and everyone backing me up it's…different. And a bit of a rush."
Nodding, trying to understand, I stepped up to him, taking his hand in mine. "I think I get it." I told him. "And I can understand why you want to risk yourself now. Just don't take it too far. Not so far that I'll be forced to have to say goodbye to you."
"There's been a lot of this talk lately." He nodded.
"There have been a lot of close calls lately." I retorted sounding more annoyed than I intended to.
He sighed and nodded. "I know, baby. I just wish we could move past it. I don't want you worrying all the time."
"Me neither." I nodded. "And I've tried to stop. I've tried to just trust you and let you do whatever you want. But it's hard. And I worry."
"I know." He said taking my head in his hands. "I love that you worry about me. I love that I have someone worrying about me. I love that I've found someone who I in turn can worry for. This whole thing is still new to me. We haven't had a lot of time to figure everything out. I'm still getting used to it. But I love you, Penelope Farrier. And we're gonna have our ups and downs. Things aren't going to work out." He said and paused. "All I know is that we work. You and me. We'll have to work at it every day but I'm willing to put the work in if you are."
"Of course I am, baby." I said gently gripping his forearms. "I'm yours and I will always be yours. I'm not going anywhere, Eric."
"Neither am I." He replied and kissed me deeply.
In the next moment I was against the door, his lips against mine as his hands gripped my head, his tongue parting my lips. Gripping his sides, I pulled him tightly against me. Running my hands up his back, I gripped his shoulder blades, his lips leaving me breathless.
"I love you." I whispered to him.
"I know." He smirked and kissed me again.
Knocking on the door interrupted us. "Knock it off and let's go." Claude scolded.
Laughing, I wrapped my arm around his neck, kissing him deeply. "She'll break down the door if we don't leave."
His lips found my neck, whispering to me, "Let her try."
"Eric!" Claude yelled as she pounded on the door.
Laughing louder, I turned to the door, opening it to see Claude's glare. "Hello." I grinned at her.
"Tris is going to be on trial any minute and you think that having sex during that time is okay?"
"Sorry, Mom. We were just looking for a little fun." Eric smirked at her.
"Get moving." She said pointing at him.
He put his arm around me, his lips finding my hair as we followed her down the hall. When we reached the conference room where the trials had been taking place, we let ourselves inside; Tris was already starting to talk. Finding Four in the shadows behind his mother, we joined him. Eric beat me to him, putting his hand on his shoulder, whispering something I couldn't hear. It was pretty unbelievable how close they had become. They truly had bonded. It sucked that it was over the rescuing of their women, but it was still nice to see. Even more so when I watched Four accept his comfort, smiling and nodding in response. Then Eric crossed his hands in front of him, standing just behind Four's shoulder. The leader becoming the guardian.
Smiling, I wanted to take him then and there. My love for him seeming to grow. Expanding toward him like an invisible force.
"Pay attention." Claude told me, sounding annoyed.
"Sorry." I replied, turning my attention toward a very disgruntled Tris.
"I think you're all idiots." She said with annoyance. Her hands were curled in her lap and she looked so uncomfortable. I felt sorry for her. "You should be thanking me, not questioning me."
Evelyn officially looked pissed off. She had no love in her heart for the woman her son is in love with. "We should thank you for defying the instructions of your faction leaders? Thank you for trying to prevent one of your faction leaders from killing Jeanine Matthews? You behaved like a traitor." Her words are dripping with venom.
Watching Four, he hadn't looked at Tris once yet. Only now his eyes shift to hers, telling her that it was time. I wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to say, but the beading sweat is already telling me that she's fighting the truth serum. It's not nearly as easy as it looks. I'd never tried – not really – and I hoped I never had to. The small amount I'd tried was painful enough for me to know that her insides were going to be screaming, every nerve ending would be on fire.
I knew I was right as I watched her. She was hiding the pain of it but I could tell it was hurting. I wanted to move to her and just put my hand on her shoulder to let her know that she's not alone. That we are here for her. All she has to do is fight for a little while longer. Or maybe that was part of her ploy and it was actually a lot simpler. Frowning, I was thinking too much about it when she started talking again.
"I am not a traitor." She told us. "At the time I believed that Marcus was working under Dauntless-factionless orders. Since I couldn't join the fight as a soldier, I was happy to help with something else."
"Why couldn't you be a soldier?" Evelyn asked her.
There's a florescent light behind her that must be skewing her to Tris, since it looked like she couldn't focus on her. And she shouldn't. She needed to focus on the serum and sounding as honest as possible. Something I knew was hard for her on a good day. I couldn't imagine what was going through her mind now.
"Because." She replied and stopped, biting her lip. Focus. "Because I couldn't hold a gun, okay? Not after shooting . . . him. My friend Will. I couldn't hold a gun without panicking."
To an extent, it is the truth. She might be about to lie but that part was a piece of the truth. Though from the look on Evelyn's face, she suspects something. She was ready to crucify Tris. And she wouldn't bat an eye doing it.
"So Marcus told you he was working under my orders, and even knowing what you do about his rather tense relationship with both the Dauntless and the factionless, you believed him?" She asked. I hated to admit that she had a point. Which made Tris's lie that much more noticeable.
"Yes."
"I can see why you didn't choose Erudite." Evelyn laughed.
She's pushing Tris's buttons. As well as many others in the room. The woman before us has trapped us all, controlling us by armed factionless patrolling the streets. She knows that whoever holds the guns holds the power. And with Jeanine out of the way and Tori under her thumb, that left it all for her.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about this?" Evelyn asked.
"I didn't want to have to admit to any weakness, and I didn't want Four to know I was working with his father. I knew he wouldn't like it." She pauses, fighting the serum. "I brought you the truth about our city and the reason we are in it. If you aren't thanking me for it, you should at least do something about it instead of sitting here on this mess you made, pretending it's a throne!"
"She needs to stop." I whispered to Claude.
She nodded. "I get the plan but she better watch herself. All she's doing is putting a target on her back."
I nodded, watching as Evelyn's smile twisted into disgust. She leaned closer to Tris's face. "I am doing something about it. I am making a new world." She replied.
Then her voice lowered to the point where only Tris could hear her. Tris smiled a little at her, unable to help herself. I don't know what Evelyn told her, but I didn't think it was anything good. Feeling anxious, I didn't have to look at Eric for both of us to reach out for each other. He sensed my anxiety, responding to me without a seconds pause. Taking a deep breath, I laced my fingers with his, my hand finding his bicep.
Evelyn straightened, folding her arms. "The truth serum has revealed that while you may be a fool, you are no traitor. This interrogation is over. You may leave."
"What about my friends?" Tris asked. "Christina, Cara. They didn't do anything wrong either."
"We will deal with them soon." Evelyn replied.
Tris stood and Uriah was kind enough to grip her arm, leading her from the room. Eric put his arm around me, pressing his lips against my ear. "See? No plan B."
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I buried my face in his neck. "You're lucky."
"Pen." Evelyn's voice interrupted us.
I was starting to hate the sound of her voice. Shutting my eyes, Eric pressed a kiss against my forehead. "What?" I asked still gripping him.
"May I have a word?" She replied.
Putting my arm around Eric, I turned to her, "What do you want?"
She smiled, looking at Eric, then to Four, Claude, and Terra who were still lingering. "May we speak alone?"
"No." I replied without a moment's pause.
Her smile remained. "Perhaps you and Tobias would accompany me back to my office."
I knew it was meant to be more of a command, but the word was out of my mouth before I could think, "No."
"Pen." Four said meeting my eyes.
"If she goes, I go." Eric stated.
"No." She replied, her smile never faltering.
God I wanted to hate her. And yet…
"Pen." Four said again, nodding at me.
Meeting his eyes, I sighed, "Fine."
"Pen." Eric said gripping my hand.
Looking up at him, I smirked. "It's my turn to make you sweat a little."
"Fine." He replied kissing me deeply. "You can fill me in afterward."
"I will." I nodded at him.
"Penelope." Evelyn stated, her tone reminding me of my mother.
Smiling at her, I crossed my arms, slowly stepping toward her. "Anything you have ever told me has been relayed to him." I told her. "I have no secrets from him. You might as well let him come as well."
"No." She repeated with annoyance.
"It's fine." He told me, his hands on my shoulders, running them down my arms. Feeling his lips in my hair, I put my hands over his. "Claude. Terra." He said and moved toward the door.
"No." Claude said as she glared at Evelyn.
"You really are loyal to each other." Evelyn smiled. "I'll give you that. However I would like to speak to my son and Pen alone."
"Just go." I told Claude and Terra. "Keep Eric out of trouble and I'll find you when we're done."
"I don't like it." Claude stated.
"Claude." Terra said slipping her hand into hers. "Let's just go."
Terra pulled her from the room and now Eric was the only one who hadn't moved. Wrapping my arms around him, I leaned up and kissed him sweetly. "Go on, baby. I'll catch up."
He pulled me against him, whispering to me, "Don't let her manipulate you."
"I won't." I whispered back.
"And don't believe everything she tells you."
"I won't." I repeated.
His grip on me tightened, "And don't agree to anything. And don't do anything stupid."
Laughing lightly, I gripped his shoulder blades, burying my face in his neck. "Now you sound like me."
"Can we move this along please?" Evelyn said impatiently.
Feeling him tense, I smiled, resting my head against his chest. "Yeah." I finally said and let him go.
"Hey." He said with furrowed brows, gripping my arm.
Smiling, I brought my hand to his face, running my thumb across his growing beard. "It sucks being the one felt behind, doesn't it?" He sighed and nodded, his jaw clenched. Grinning, I kissed him sweetly, "Love you, babe."
"Love you."
Four gripped my arm, gently pulling me away from him, "We're not going to war."
"Not yet." Evelyn grinned.
"I feel so much better." Eric frowned at all of us.
"We'll find you later." Four told him, his arm around me.
Walking the halls back to the library, we passed through and to her office. I'd been here too much. I hated this room. I hated all the light. Although I had to say that I did enjoy the smell of the books. Eric's room smelled similar. Something I'd never put together until right now. Watching Evelyn move to the desk, perching on the very edge of it, she turned to me and Four as we sat in the chairs in front of her.
"I think we have to talk about your loyalty. Both of yours." She told us.
Frowning, I looked at Four. He didn't seem too concerned. Looking back at Evelyn, she seemed more tired than anything. Though I still felt like she was about to accuse one or both of us of something. Trying to stay one step ahead, though I was coming up blank.
"Ultimately, it was you who helped Tris, and got that video released." She stated. "No one else knows that, but I know it."
"You think no one else knows?" I frowned at her. "You do remember that I'm sitting right here, right? So when you talk to him, could you please talk to both of us?" She smiled and nodded. "Thank you."
"Listen." Four said leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. "I didn't know what was in that file. I trusted Tris's judgment more than my own. That's all that happened."
"And now that you've seen the footage?" She went on. "What do you think now? Do you think we should leave the city?"
Running my fingers through my hair, I mirrored Four, looking at him. It's obvious that she wants him to say that he doesn't and that he wants to stay here. But we both knew that that wasn't the case, only the problem now is Four's inability to lie.
"I'm afraid of it." He finally told her. "I'm not sure it's smart to leave the city knowing the dangers that might be out there."
Then her eyes are on me. I met her eyes and nodded, "I agree." She's biting the inside of her cheek and I see a look flicker across Four's face.
She slid off the desk, moving to the window. "I've been receiving disturbing reports of a rebel organization among us." She looked up, raising an eyebrow. "People always organize into groups. That's a fact of our existence. I just didn't expect it to happen this quickly."
"What kind of organization?" Four and I said together.
"The kind that wants to leave the city." She replied. "They released some kind of manifesto this morning. They call themselves the Allegiant." Both of us look at her, confused. "Because they're allied with the original purpose of our city, see?"
"The original purpose—you mean, what was in the Edith Prior video? That we should send people outside when the city has a large Divergent population?"
"That, yes. But also living in factions. The Allegiant claim that we're meant to be in factions because we've been in them since the beginning." She shook her head. "Some people will always fear change. But we can't indulge them."
"So you think that the factions should be demolished?"
"Yes."
"What are you going to do about them?" Four asked.
"I am going to get them under control, what else?"
Four sat straighter at the word "control". The only "control" that we've experienced had been with needles and serums and threats and guns. We don't know anything other than the simulations that we've been put into. My stomach dropped and for a moment I couldn't breathe.
Simulations.
Control.
My eyes move to the door and all I want to do is run out of it and back to Eric.
Running my fingers through my hair, I moved closer to the edge of the chair, "What am I even doing here, Evelyn? This sounds like a conversation that could have been done without me." I told her, trying not to let my anxiousness show.
"When you say "control", do you mean with simulations?" Four asked slowly before she could answer me.
I don't even think she heard me. Now she's scowling at her son. "Of course not! I am not Jeanine Matthews!"
Getting to my feet, I paced away from her, ready to react to anything she's about to do. Four is on edge as well, but manages to remain calm, "Don't forget that I barely know you, Evelyn."
She winced at the reminder. "Then let me tell you that I will never resort to simulations to get my way. Death would be better."
I appreciated that. No simulations. But Four looks like she's still going to do something unforgiveable. "I can find out who they are." He told her. "And Pen can help me."
"I'm sure that you can. Why else would I have told you about them?"
There it is. The manipulation. And Four just dragged me into it.
"I'll do it, then. I'll find them."
"Pen?" She said with her eyes on me.
Furrowing my brows, I looked at Four. I knew what he wanted me to say. But I wasn't there yet. "Is that why I'm here?" I frowned. "So you can have two people doing your dirty work?"
"Not only that but I trust you. Both of you. And my offer still stands."
Laughing, I paced away from her as Four got to his feet. "Are you fucking kidding me? I have nothing to do with anything that's going on. Tris does. Four's your kid so I get why you want him involved. But me? I'm just another Divergent who is seeking refuge and answers. I have no idea what to do next. I sure as hell don't know who to trust, least of all you."
"Pen." Four said softly.
"No." I shot at him. "You may agree to help her but you do not speak for me."
"Calm down, Opie." He said gently.
Panic was starting to take over. I wasn't going to be made into some sort of spy. I'd just gotten rid of all my secrets and just wanted to know what I had to do to get back a semblance of a normal life.
"I don't want this." I said looking between them.
"Whether you like it or not, you're going to have to choose a side. You'll need to form alliances and make the hard decisions. You're family to Tobias and I appreciate that and accept that. Do it for him."
Four's staring at me now, silently pleading for me to just shut up and agree. We'd figure everything else out later. "Fine." I finally told them. "Fine. I'll help."
"Thank you." She smiled at us.