Sorry for the lack of update!
I'm house sitting for my parents for the month
and they don't have wifi. But I found a source! haha.

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chapter three: you're crazy and i'm out of my mind

For a while, she was a part of the past. My inclination to become something better became invisible the moment she looked at me with that cold glance, and I knew that I could never be good enough for her. So, I stopped trying. I gave into the cold vice that had been prying at my exterior for so long and I became everything my father had wanted to be. Maybe worse than he thought.

Of course, I was never strong enough for such a life, and it showed. Murder and torture weren't in my vocabulary, no matter how I or my father tried to believe it was so, and I broke down. I skipped so many classes to work on my project, but many classes were skipped to cry, not to work.

Our first words to each other will always remain very dear to my heart, and I can repeat the conversation verbatim as if it happened every day. I would never forget. It was midday when I decided to abandon all responsibilities and be by myself, sitting at the edge of where the forbidden forest meets the lake to ponder on how badly I had desired to kill myself, and if any good would come of it. I was so close to death that day.

I don't know why she was there that day; in fact, I never asked. My thoughts were focused elsewhere as I wrapped my hands around my legs and buried my tear-ridden face into my knees, longing for some sort of escape. My life had always existed behind bars, in a cell where one could not see the outdoors. It must have been so nice for people like Potter…to had always had access to light and grass. I saw none of that.

I felt a presence next to me and as I peeked to the side…there she was. She had picked a few flowers up from the grass and was picking their pedals off, one by one, occasionally glancing in my direction. Her expression was emotionless and I could not tell if she was angry or glad to see me. I wouldn't have blamed her if the former; I was a terrible person, and I wouldn't be so proud to deny it. But, I didn't like hearing it, either.

"Are you troubled?" she asked, as if we barely knew each other at all. We didn't, I suppose. I said nothing and she continued to stare at me with that fascinated look on her face, her eyes trailing down to the tears on my cheeks. "You don't have to pretend, you know, but I expect you don't want to talk about it. Is it something I've done?"

At this, I replied. "Why would it be something you've done?"

She didn't respond to that question. Perhaps she didn't want to.

"I know who you are, by the way."

"Most people do," I told her. It was the sickening pleasure that came from bearing the Malfoy name. Everyone knew and hated me for it. It comes with the curse. Though born into the name, I always wondered the outcome of my fate should I have chosen a different path. A different destiny. It wouldn't matter. The name Malfoy would forever taint anyone's judgment.

"Don't think that's true," she said, her eyes trailing off into the lake. "You're a very mysterious person, you know."

"I think most people would argue the same about you."

"I can be a bit odd sometimes, I suppose." Her hands found their way to a rock and she gracefully tossed it, the rock skipping three times before landing with a plop. This seemed to satisfy her and she smiled, looking back at me.

"I don't think you're odd," I admitted to her, my eyes carefully looking down at the ground and away from her as to not appear weak. What was I to say to the person I'd always yearned to talk to but was too afraid that they wouldn't accept me? Even as I spoke, I found myself tip-toeing through dialogue, half paralyzed. Her words made my whole body go numb.

For a while, she didn't speak and continued to play with the flowers in her hands. Every so often, she would glance in my direction. To make sure I was looking at her. My eyes could hardly look at anything but. I'm sure she noticed. A man's fixation is hard to ignore. I wonder, now, if it was flattering or slightly uncomfortable.

Not being able to stop myself, one of my hands drifted to hers and grabbed one of the flowers from her soft, white hands. Then, I used my other hand to push her hair back a bit and gently placed the flower in her gorgeous blonde locks. She looked beautiful and as my faced showed the emotion, her eyes beamed with adoration. She seemed flattered.

"I watch you cry sometimes," she said, softly. I stopped, my hands nearly frozen in place, and I only stared at her. There was not much else I could do. I only stared…she had one of those faces that seemed to repel a foul mood and was impossible to be angry with. So calming, nurturing…how had she managed to remain friendless for so long?

"Harry Potter often speaks of you as a monster," she told me. "Someone who is inhumane. But you're not, are you, Draco Malfoy?"

For some reason, the mention of my full name nearly gave me a stroke. I'd never felt anything like it before. Like a heat wave had sent an alarm through my entire system and my whole entire body was melting. Can words really do that? Can her words really do that?

"I am a lot of things, Luna," I finally said. "You really don't want to know what they are."

At this, she only shrugged. As she turned towards the lake, she shifted her whole body closer to mine. Her back leaned against my chest and her head rested on my shoulder. It seemed so natural, as if she had done this all the time, and continued to stare forward as if nothing had happened. I had never felt such warmth in all my life.

It was something I couldn't contain, but had control over at the same time. It was a feeling I chose to have. Love. I had fallen in love with her.

"I wish to see you again," I suddenly said, extremely hesitantly. It was the first time I'd ever been afraid of the word no in all my life. I couldn't threaten or bribe someone for this. It was earned and certainly not well-deserved on my part.

Luna said nothing. Her head turned towards mine and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, lingering for just the right amount of time. My answer. Yes. She was so overwhelmingly tranquil. Like a fragile majestic ice sculpture. She could so easily shatter…