hey! sorry for the late update
and thank you so much for the kind words, schleifchen!
they really mean a lot! I worked very hard on this story
so I'm very glad to know that it's moving people!

aaand finally. (:

chapter four: i let if fall. my heart.

I felt different that week. I actually found it in my time to smile and even took to drawing little stars in the corners of my parchment while taking notes. Blaise Zabini noticed once and snorted, asking me if I had gotten laid the night before. I said nothing, pretended like I had.

Charms class had let out the following day and the next class were the fifth year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. After our class let out, a collection of blue and yellow scarves scurried into the classroom, anxious for class to begin. Luna, of course, was not among them; in fact, I'm not sure she even noticed my presence. She was looking outside the window at something, her hands were by her sides, her right clutching her Charms textbook, and her left dangled beside her carelessly.

"The birds have never flown that direction before," she chimed, pointing at the ravens floating along the shore. I'd never noticed that ravens flew here.

"Even the fowl know he's coming," I replied, quietly, my mind running laps inside my head. It had always occurred to me that anything I wanted, I could never have. He would always be there to take it away from me. Up until recently, I'd never been bothered by that fact.

But now I want something.

I felt Luna's hand curl into mine, her fingertips stretching my palm out as our fingers intertwined. My thumb softly grazed circles over her pale knuckles as we stood ever so frigid. Ever so careless. I never thought much of muggle literature, but it wasn't until this moment that I thoroughly felt the pain of Romeo and Juliet. I feared its accuracy…but not enough to deter me from her. There's little that could.

Upon her subtle exit, I saw that she had dropped something. As I knelt down to pick it up, I saw her linger at the door, smiling softly like the goddess she was named after. Her fingertips slowly slid across the doorframe as she gave me one last forbidden glance before attending class, the door gliding shut behind her.

It was a folded piece of parchment that she had dropped. On it were three words.

The docks. Midnight.

I arrived early, sitting against the edge of the boathouse. My hands rested on top of my knees as they made unnecessary twitches that excelled the more I thought about how nervous I was. In my heart, I knew I had done nothing to deserve her attention, let alone her sympathy. Can the lion really lay down with the lamb? Or would the lion devour her?

"Do you always look like that?" I heard.

At her voice, I rose slowly. The moonlight reflected off her pale skin that revealed a goddess-like state. It was fitting. I was not worthy. She was dressed in a black slender dress with a sky blue sweater jacket drawn over it. It was so simple. So beautiful.

"Like what?" I found myself to ask.

She walked towards me, my mind counting the steps as she drew nearer. With every step, I felt my heart beat faster. Her hands found their way to my jacket as she lightly caressed and straightened it, then towards the center of my chest as she loosened my tie a bit. Her hands stayed on my chest as she slowly met my gaze.

"Wounded," she told me. Is it that obvious, I thought.

I said nothing as I let out a long, chilled breath. Luna closed her eyes, taking it in, and I collapsed my forehead against hers, nearing tears. I didn't feel a bit self-conscious. In fact, for the first time, I felt I knew me. I felt as if I had lost my soul for sixteen years…and then I finally found it. It was resting in her…waiting.

"You are extraordinary, Luna Lovegood," I sighed.

"Am I?" she asked, quietly.

"Can I tell you something?" I said, hesitantly. She rose from our collapsed position and gently held both of my hands in hers, her thumbs tracing pictures on my fingers. "We've had two conversations at best…how is it that I feel as if I've already fallen in love with you? I…"

She said nothing, just waiting for me to continue.

"I've lived in darkness my whole life, Luna. My whole life, I've wanted it to just be over. Death is so simple. But with you…here, now…there's light. You are my light."

I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I avoided her gaze, looking at the ground. I've never broke down in front of anyone before. Up until now, no one had ever seen me cry.

Light feathered hands caressed my face as she brushed the tears away with her thumb and our gaze met. I couldn't help it any more.

Her lips were as light as snow, and her tongue danced circles in my mouth. She was so timid, and I could tell this was her first experience. So I took charge. My hands gently but violently drew her close to me as I rapidly rotated her whole body and knocked her against the boathouse door. I felt her lips vibrate as she softly moaned in the process, smiling as she did so. I was so present in this moment, so content with my decision. They say love at first sight doesn't exist. I would've married her that one soft night if she'd have let me.

She let me direct the pace, becoming submissive to every direction I guided. There is something correlated with corrupted men and innocent women. Each plays their part. She wanted to be submissive…and I needed to be dominant. To have control over something…just once.

My hand found its way to the doorknob as I slowly guided her in, then leaned her against the other side of the closed door in a room where nothing else mattered. Her kisses were so delightfully desperate, as if she were a baby bird longing to be fed by her mother. She was ever so dependent in this moment, and for the first time since I was a boy, I felt strong.

Only she could make me feel that way.

The ritual was slow…and perfect. On the ground in the boathouse at midnight, we contributed our tribute to the moonlight. The moon's rays radiated off her pale, naked skin as I worshiped her with all my body and soul. When we concluded, she lay her head against my bare chest and I counted every breath she took, every slow and satisfying breath.

This was nothing like my times with Pansy. Fast and apathetic, leaving immediately after my dirty laundry was concluded. I left Pansy in heats of passion, satisfying my needs and my needs alone, and left her to rot only to return when my needs came back. With Luna…it was different. It was a reluctant privilege that I was so hesitant to but longed so tragically for. She was my forbidden fruit, and I had finally been allowed a taste.

"I am very fond of you, Draco Malfoy," she told me. I smiled.

"Well, I should bloody hope so," I laughed, playing with her shimmering hair. She smiled back at me, turning on her side. My fingers lowered down to her chest drawing circles with the tips of my fingertips around the very center of her tender spots, pinching ever so softly. She watched every movement.

"Are they that enticing?" she asked.

"Oh, they're more than that," I replied. My mouth caved in on me again and my tongue found its way back to her again, tracing her body all the way from her belly button to her neck. I could feel her body tense as she collapsed onto her back, letting me explore. She was so captivating. I couldn't stop myself.

"Are we going to do this again?" she asked through pleasurable breaths.

"Why, did I wear you out?" I grinned.

"No," she replied. "You woke me up."

I drew her close to me and she immediately responded, curling her entire body into mine as I wrapped my arm around her gently. And we both just lay there…every so often, I would kiss her forehead. I'd never felt this. Love.

"It is a bit complicated, though, isn't it?" I finally said, thinking.

"Rather," she replied. "I'm not sure Harry Potter would be too pleased."

"Oh, I'm quite positive he wouldn't be," I laughed.

It was a joke…and I laughed the best I could. It was true, though. Could the love of Draco Malfoy really outweigh the friendship of Harry Potter? Who was I to even come close? She could only have one or the other. One could never have both.

"Your father wouldn't either," she concluded.

"No…he wouldn't," I admitted. In Lucius Malfoy's eyes, the Lovegoods would be blood traitors. Pure of blood but tainted all the same. They're on the side of the angels. "My mother might, though. Or I at least think she'd come around."

"My father would like you," she told me. "He'd think you're mad…and say welcome to the family."

I grinned. I'd very much like to meet her father. Bet he's every bit as mad as she is.

"And your mother?"

At this she was silent.

"She passed away some time ago," she whispered.

"I'm so sorry," I said, slightly speechless.

"It's alright," she said in her flighty voice. Even though I knew it wasn't.

We talked for a bit about our families. I think she'd already known my father's connection to Voldemort, and therefore mine. I didn't share with her too much, only that I regretted most of my existence. She spoke of her mother and father. About how she grew up in the middle of nowhere and got picked on as a child…and her mother would take her pumpkin picking every year for Halloween. Her life seemed so spectacular compared to mine. Normal. It's what I'd always wanted.

"What are we going to do about us, Luna?" I finally asked.

She sighed, her hand tracing the side of my chest up and down again.

"I imagine just…something like this?"

Secret engagements at midnight…for now, it would do.