Sorry for the wait!
Was a very busy season but I finally
found time to work on this story again!
Hope you like this somewhat longer chapter (:

chapter five: love me like you do

Despite all the strength I received from her attention, there was still one harboring secret that drained any scent of courage in my being. It was my unbearable weakness, my ghost that would never leave me alone. For my life had narrowed down to two important, yet conflicting, people: Luna…and Voldemort.

If not for her consistent loyalty, I surely doubt I would've made it out alive. I had nothing left in me to go on apart from her. My dependence on my family had dwindled once I'd realized what they had become. What I would be forced to become due to their stubborn negligence. I was and have always been a coward and I wouldn't be so thick as to deny said fact. I am by no means Harry Potter.

Having said that…there's no way Harry Potter could have survived what I faced. For if I was strong…if I had been brave…Voldemort would have killed me long ago.

"Remind me what I'm to do again, then?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Crabbe. I should've enchanted the potato from dinner to assist me instead!"

Ahh, yes. There's that lovely Malfoy-feigned personality. It was always easy to bully pathetic people. People who couldn't do anything to you. Crabbe and Goyle had always been an easy stimulant to feel as if I had control. For in my current situation, I had absolutely none.

"All you have to do is plant this in the girls lavatory. I'll take care of the rest."

In my head, in my current state of mind, everything that I had done, that I had planned to do, it was all for her. That completing this psychopathic mission meant the end to a war I wanted no part in. I'm not exactly sure what it was that I planned to do afterwards. All I knew was that if I was unsuccessful…if I returned to the manor empty handed…neither myself nor my family would make it out with their lives.

Is it so selfish to want to live? To keep your family alive? Most people, I believe, wouldn't hesitate to die for their loved ones…but would you kill for them?

My plan backfired that day. The necklace I had originally planned for Dumbledore instead ended up in the gloved hands of Katie Bell, a chaser from the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Dare I say, a very talented athlete. I was standing in front of the Three Broomsticks when it happened. In the distance, I saw the young girl rise into the air and plummet to the ground with force. I knew then that my first attempt had failed and I was back to square one.

A lot of things went through my mind at that point, but the main one that kept circling around and around was Luna.

We had met up more than a few times since that night, and yet I told her nothing of my vicious intentions for the upcoming school year. The reason I told myself was the obvious one…that she would immediately run to Harry Potter, betray me, and I would then become the youngest detainee to Azkaban in history. Of course, that wasn't the real reason.

She saw me a crooked angel. All the feelings of fear and agony faded whenever she entered a room and I could not let that feeling free. If she knew the real me…would she ever look upon me with love again? Surely not. I would lose her forever.

My feet found their way to the Three Broomsticks and I lifelessly found my way to their front bar. The bartender looked at me skeptically while she cleaned a glass.

"Can I have a barrel brandy, please?" I asked, my hands rubbing my eyes.

"You know we don't serve students here, Mr. Malfoy," she replied.

I sighed, slightly annoyed, my hand raising.

"Well, can't you make an exception?" I asked, rather irritably.

Before she could answer, a dark presence appeared directly beside me. I didn't even bother looking. I knew exactly who it was.

"Put his drink on mine, Rosmerta…and leave the bottle as well."

She eyed the man suspiciously but then sighed, turning around to make the drink and placed the drink and the bottle before me.

"Cheers," I said quietly, lifting the glass up immediately.

"That's twice you owe me, Severus," she said viciously before storming off. I scoffed a bit as she did, my lovely Malfoy sneer showing itself.

I continued ignoring him until I could tell he was finally getting impatient. I had nothing to say to him before…and I have nothing to say to him now.

"Something you want to tell me, Draco?" Severus Snape asked, not taking his eye off me for a second.

I finally turned towards him. Without breaking eye contact, I downed the entire glass of brandy that had been placed before me and then stood up. I grabbed the bottle that he had purchased for me and glared at him, aggressively.

"Nothing at all…professor," I sneered, and then walked out the door.

I didn't dare return to Hogwarts until I knew that the scene had officially cleared and I could go about my way without arising suspicion; therefore, instead of heading towards the castle, I went towards the forest just on the edge of where Hogsmeade met the Shrieking Shack. I leaned myself on a slight downward incline, proceeded to drink the entire bottle of brandy, and eventually drank myself to sleep.

I didn't awake until much later when I heard the call of my own name from afar. I couldn't find enough energy to awake as the alcohol prevented me from a certain extent of mobility. Moments later, I heard it again, and as I opened my eyes I saw a pale, fair-haired figure in front of me. My surroundings were filled with darkness apart from a small light depicting from her wand.

"Draco?!" Luna asked, her voice sounding extremely worried. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh…just waiting for the wolves to come," I said, quite slurred. "I thought it might be a less painful death than the alternative."

I heard a small sloshing around as I saw Luna pick up the bottle of brandy that lay beside me. Apart from a very small ounce of liquid, it was completely empty. She pursed her lips together for a moment, clearly contemplating her next move. Meanwhile, my drunken hand slowly found her way to hers and I dizzily played with her fingers for a bit, smiling as I did so.

"You're the one lovely thing I ever had, you know," I said, very slowly. Had I not have been pissed drunk, I'm sure it would've been an extremely romantic moment; however, I ruined it by promptly vomiting all over my chest directly afterwards. I remember her lightly chuckling and that was enough for me to think that my life hadn't been a complete failure. That I wasn't a plague on this land.

After all…if that lovely little Luna loved me….how bad could I be?

"Can you put your arm around me, Draco?" she suddenly asked, kneeling down next to me and slowly attempting to lift me up. It wasn't easy; I was much taller and heavier than she was, but she put one arm around my waist, gently wiped the vomit off my chin and neck with her own sleeve, and then pulled my arm over her shoulder to gently lift me up.

As my feet proceeded on, I felt my eyes close and entrusted her that she would guide my feet to where they needed to go. I had absolutely no control over that moment…and yet I felt completely safe. More safe that I had ever felt with my mother or my father.

A few times before the castle, we had to stop while I vomited all the toxins that I had previously took part in. She never said a word and simply cleaned up my face afterwards and even proceeded to position herself closer to me, not farther away.

"We've stopped," I said after walking for a good long time. Of course it felt a lot longer than it actually was. "Where are we, Luna?"

She said nothing. I began to panic.

"Luna?!" I called desperately.

I felt her arms squeeze tight around my shoulders and a kiss upon my cheek.

"Just trust me," she cooed.

And I did. More than anyone.

"He is not welcome here, young Lovegood," I heard. Upon opening my eyes, I realized where we were…she was taking me to her dorm. We were speaking to the eagle portrait before the entrance of the Ravenclaw common room. Before I could protest, she spoke.

"Please," she begged. "He is ill. I mean only to care for him."

"Very well," the statue said, hesitantly. "Only if he can answer this riddle will I grant him access."

At this, Luna looked quite defeated as she gave a sort of tortured look towards me. I simply sighed and looked up at the eagle.

"I accept," I said, rather reluctantly. At this, the eagle laughed.

"I can sizzle like bacon, am made with an egg.
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg.
I peel layers like onions but still remain whole.
I can be long like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole.
What am I, young Slytherin?"

Perhaps it was my drunken state, or my current feeling of self-loathing, that I just happened to know the answer to that question. In fact, it seemed to be intentionally ironic on the eagle's part. As if to assume that I was every bit revolting as her riddle claimed me to be.

With drunken and agonizing confidence, I lifelessly gave my answer.

"A snake," I said, choking out my response a bit.

The statue smiled.

"Such is the disgusting filth you are, young Slytherin. Enter."

As she guided me into the portrait, my foot caught the bottom barrier and I stumbled onto the floor, coughing in pathetic weakness. She was right there by my side while the golden eagle chuckled in the backround. I felt so humiliated and defeated, and still I couldn't tell her a damned thing about why. Was the Dark Lord watching? And what would he do to this lovely little Ravenclaw if he found out? I shuddered to even suggest the motion.

"Come on, Draco," she cooed, softly. "Upstairs."

I followed her words, rather unwillingly I must admit. Whilst a prefect, I was pretty confident in the fact that if found in a student's dormitories outside my house jurisdiction would forfeit my rank, especially if found in the Ravenclaw household. However, I was in no shape to survive without her care…and I did not want to, for that matter.

"Luna, what of your roommates?" I asked.

"Oh," she said, rather solemnly. "I don't have any."

"How do you mean?" I asked. "Rebecca Wilson is your year; where is she?"

"Oh, how do you know Rebecca?" she asked, carelessly, clearly dodging the question with her flighty Ravenclaw wit. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

"Here we are," she said, brushing it off. She guided me to her bed and I fell onto it drastically, my head suddenly swimming in every which direction.

Her room was exactly as I'd pictured it, with a few differences of course. There were ornaments colored like onions hanging from the top of her bunker (probably to keep the wrackspurts away), lamps of several different sizes and colors scattered all about, and pictures of her friends hanging from the walls by her bedside. None were of me, of course. We had no picture together. I suppose I hadn't realized that until now.

Her eyes followed my gaze and she suddenly smiled, swiftly reaching underneath her pillow and pulling out a torn picture from a newspaper, it seemed, then handed it to him. It was a picture of him on his Nimbus 2001, the broomstick he received from his father in his second year, on the Quidditch field. The picture must have been taken and put into the Quidditch Trophy Room along with a number of the other players. The edges of his mouth thinned a bit as he processed the fact that she kept this picture closer to her than any of the others at all times. It meant more than she could ever know.

"You keep a picture of me?" he asked, close to tears.

She said nothing, only smiled and stared at me with that empty gaze full of nothing at all but love. No greed, no pride, no nothing….just pure adoration.

"You want to kiss me, don't you?" she observed. "But you don't want to because you've vomited so much."

I could do nothing but laugh.

"Yes," I smirked. "Exactly that."

She reached over to grab something out of her desk drawer. It was a small box and when she opened it, revealed a few mints and held out her hand for me to grab them. Staring at her hand, I smiled, bent over and licked them straight out of her palm. After staring at her for a few moments, she was the one to lean in and had me pinned onto the bed.

It was only a few moments. She lightly kissed me, her lips like feathers, and then simply laid her head down onto my chest and my fingers lightly played with her hair.

We stayed like that for a while and I thought we were to both fall asleep like that when she spoke again.

"You were the one who cursed Katie Bell, weren't you, Draco?"

She did not look up at me as she asked the questions. Her fingers fidgeted on my chest as she asked and my breaths suddenly became heavy. Good at reading, she was.

"Well," I sighed. "Not…exactly that."

"Is it intended for Harry Potter?" she asked. I couldn't suppress a small smile.

"No," I told her, honestly. "It's not for Harry Potter."

"Good," she said softly. "Because that would be bad."

I paused for a moment.

"Yes," I agreed. "That would be bad."