Chapter Eleven: What Lies Outside

Waking slowly, I was cradled in a set of strong arms. Eric. I wanted to move but my body wasn't ready yet. My head was pounding and my neck was incredibly uncomfortable. As if he was reading my mind, I felt his hand underneath it, bending it forward to a more natural angle. I felt his lips against my forehead, his warm breath wafting over me. He always smelled so good. I felt calm and relaxed. I was okay. As long as I was with him, everything would be okay. Even after all this time, he was still my addiction.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry, baby."

I wanted to respond to him…

"I promised nothing more would happen to you. I broke that promise. I'm sorry."

He had nothing to be sorry for.

What happened came flooding back. He was not to blame.

I was.

Me.

It was my fault.

If I had refused them and made them stay at headquarters, Henry would still be alive. If they hadn't been there then I wouldn't have lingered so long by the train. I would have been with Tori and maybe things would have turned out differently.

Deep down, I knew there was nothing I could have done. Everything that happened…everyone who died…I didn't think anything could have changed their fate. Everything happens for a reason. But did I really believe that? I don't know. All I knew was that I was sick and tired of people dying. Just let me go. I wanted to tell him to just let me go. If I died too then I wouldn't have to be in so much pain all the time. I wouldn't have to watch my family's numbers dwindle down to nothing. I wouldn't have to suffer.

But then he pressed my face against his neck, his hand on the back of my head. I felt his lips trail from my temple down to my neck. I felt his eyelashes against my jaw as he blinked. The feeling of his lips. The smell of his neck. The warmth of his body. He was the reason I suffered. He was the reason that I didn't just die. He was why I was able to overcome everything that this life had thrown at me.

I lived for him.

Slowly moving my hand to his chest, running it up to his neck, I felt him relax. Pressing my lips against his neck, he leaned his head against mine, his arms wrapping around me tightly. He shifted, leaning back, bringing me with him as I wrapped my arm around him, now sitting in his lap. He turned his head, running his hand along my hair as he kissed me. I felt everything he was feeling. Kissing him as deeply as I possibly could, I felt lightheaded when I finally released him, meeting his eyes.

"I love you." He told me with worry still in his voice.

Smiling, I trailed my fingers down his face, "I love you, Eric. So, so very much."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Tori and Henry…" He said softly.

Tears filled my eyes and my hand moved to his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Pen." He said shaking his head.

"Are you okay?" I repeated slowly.

He sighed, his hand moving to my face, "Yeah, baby, I'm okay."

It took a long moment before I could find my voice again. Tears were falling as I moved my hand to his as well. "Then we'll be okay." I finally told him with a tight throat. Nodding, I took a deep breath, "As long as you're okay, we will be okay."

His brows furrowed and his looked at me with a pained expression. "Then you have to be okay too."

Kissing him again, I rested my forehead against his, taking another deep breath to calm myself down. "I'm sorry." I told him. He scoffed, smirking even though his eyes were shut. "For my momentary breakdown."

"Which led to you being knocked out." He stated. I sighed and nodded. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm the only one who can." I smirked.

He laughed lightly, kissing me deeply. "I love you, woman."

"I love you." I told him wrapping my arms around him, careful not to touch his wound as I ran my hand down the back of his head, my nails up and down his back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am." He replied matter-of-factly. "Cara got the bullet out and patched me up. She did a good job. Even though I prefer you over anyone else."

Letting him go, I smiled, moving from his lap, sitting against his side, able to face him, "I'm sure she did a better job than I could have."

"It wouldn't matter." He told me. "I prefer you over anyone or anything. You're mine and all that matters to me."

Smiling, scooting closer to him, I leaned my arm across his thighs, leaning toward him. He met me halfway, kissing me passionately. "And you're mine."

He sighed, his hand finding my face, "How are you feeling?"

"My head is killing me." I told him honestly. "But the more you kiss me, the better it gets." He laughed and continued to kiss me, once again pulling me into his arms.

Finally ceasing, I sat between his legs, leaning against his chest as we watched the scenery. We were still moving through the fields, passing the greenhouses that no one ever saw unless you were from Amity. Eric knew of them from his time in the control room, but I was sure the majority of the others would be surprised that they were so far from what they knew. Just another reminder of how much we didn't know about the world we lived in.

I loved these fields. I loved this land and what it offered. I loved the feeling of peace that it gave me. Something that had been the case since I was a small child. But looking at them now, all I could think of was those that we were leaving behind. I didn't know what had happened to Claude and Terra. I didn't know what they were going to do with Tori and Henry. Part of me wanted to try and get them back, but I knew that I couldn't. The worst part was that I didn't think it as necessary as when I had thought Eric was dead. I would have given anything to see him again. Tori and Henry were gone, yet I didn't need to see them to come to terms with it.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Eric asked gently.

"Yeah." I told him, trailing my fingers up and down his arm that was around my waist. "Eventually."

He pressed his face into my neck, "I'm so sorry about Tori and Henry."

"Me too." I said moving my hand to the back of his head. "Me too, baby."

He sighed, resting his chin on my shoulder, gently rocking me back and forth. "When this is all over, we are going to find a place where we can be completely alone for as long as we want."

Smiling, I kissed his temple, "I can't say yes enough to that."

There was a small pause before he looked up, "We're officially past Amity."

Moving to my knees, I gripped the side of the truck, looking at everything that is new to me. There were many roads, dark buildings, and down power lines. The early morning sun was giving off enough light to see by. Continuing on, there was still grass and stretches of road, one side holding two concrete walls with a half dozen sets of train tracks between them. Eric moved away from me, putting his hands on top of the cab and looking out the front of the truck. The first truck is a few yards ahead of us, and past them there is a concrete bridge built across the walls, buildings of wood and brick and glass, abandoned with trees growing around them. Their branches were intertwining and I can't help but smile, feeling a connection to them deep down inside of me. My Amity springing forth with a need to touch them, to draw them, to remember…

The truck slowed and I jumped down next to a sign that read 90. Frowning, I watched everyone get out of the trucks, wondering what we were going to do next. Eric dropped next to me, taking my hand, his eyes scanning in every direction. Looking at Johanna, she was stepping toward me, opening her arms. Letting go of Eric, I swiftly moved to her, letting her wrap me in her arms.

"Thank you." I whispered to her.

"No, Penelope. Thank you. You are brave to be leaving the city."

"Not as brave as you are for staying." I replied. "Please look out for Claude and Terra. And if you see my parents, please let them know that their two remaining daughters are alive and safe."

"They didn't mean anything they said when you last saw them." She told me with a frown.

Frowning hard, I couldn't help the flaring of my temper, "Yes they did. They just thought I would choose them over Eric. They were sadly mistaken."

She smiled, putting her hand against my face, "Take care of yourself."

"I'll take care of him." I stated embracing her quickly before walking away, retuning to Eric's side.

Watching as she and Robert turned the trucks around, they headed back to the city. Part of me wanted her to join us but I knew that she had the Allegiant rebellion to organize. Something we needed in order to overthrow Evelyn.

Turning back to the others, Four stepped up to me, not saying a word as he put his hand against the back of my head, pressing a kiss against my forehead. Nodding at him, he wrapped me in his arms, sighing sadly. Feeling tears, they soaked into his shirt as I gripped him tightly. He gripped my hair as his hold on me tightened. There wasn't time to grieve properly but this was much needed.

Pulling away from him, he rested his hand against my face, nodding at me with furrowed brows. Nodding back, I took a deep breath, gripping his forearm. Smiling as best he could, he pressed another kiss against my forehead before he turned to Tris, swiftly embracing her. She met my eyes, sharing my grief. Smiling, I nodded, knowing that there would be a time and place for us to mourn, but this was not it.

Picking up my bag, I moved to put it around my head when Eric stopped me, gripping it. Frowning, I yanked it from his grasp, putting it over my head as I raised a brow at him. He grinned, kissing me deeply, and then we turned and started to follow the others. Seeing the tape of the bandage peeking out of the collar of his shirt, I couldn't help the pain that filled me. The momentary happiness from a second ago already long forgotten, terrified to lose anyone else I cared about.

Talking little, we started out over the polished tracks. They were much sleeker than those in the city. Metal runs perpendicular between them instead of the wood of the ones we were used to. It was different and yet made me nostalgic for the ones we left behind. The trains that used to run along them are up ahead, abandoned near the wall. It's metal-plated on the top and front, the sun glancing off of them, with tinted windows all along the side. As we reached it, we can see rows of benches inside with maroon cushions. I couldn't help but grin as Eric made a comment in my ear about how difficult it would be to jump on and off of it.

Forever Dauntless.

Catching Tris staring at the walls, they are covered with pictures of people with smooth skin, there are colorful bottles labeled with shampoo or conditioner or vitamins or other things that we're not familiar with. There were bottles with odd names, and I can tell she's mesmerized by them. I too couldn't help but admit that they were alluring. My artistic eye was going mad with ideas.

"Oh what I could do with all of this." I stated softly and grinned at her, getting one in return.

"Tris." Four's voice said, looking to see him gripping her shoulder, making her stop.

Seeing the expression on his face, I swiftly looked to Eric. "Baby." He nodded, already moving toward me.

Four tilted his head, "Do you hear that?"

Frowning, I looked around to where everyone was lightly talking, knowing there was more that we should be hearing. There is something underneath everything else. But I can't place it. Before I was given the chance, Tris was yelling.

"Everyone stop!"

Everyone did as she said, moving together in the center of the tracks. Peter pulled out his gun, holding it up. Eric's hand moved to the gun that was tucked in the back of my pants. All of us are waiting to be the first to see what's coming. I felt Eric's arm tense against the back of my shoulder as a black truck appeared in the distance. It's larger than any truck I've ever seen, easily able to fit a dozen people.

Tensing myself, I reached across Eric and gripped his hand. His fingers slid up my wrist, gripping my forearm as I gripped his. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control the fight between the excitement and fear that was coursing through me.

Watching the truck bump over the tracks, it stopped about twenty feet way. A man with dark skin and long hair in a knot on the back of his head is in the driver's seat. My eyes move to Four and he's now the tensest of us all, the grip on his own gun tightening. Jerking my head back to the truck, a woman got out, looking to be middle aged, her skin freckled and her hair the darkest brown I've ever seen. She holds up her hands as she takes in the guns aimed at her. My concealed in case something should happen. I feel like Tris when Four had her keep the gun when we reached Amity.

"Hello," she smiled nervously. "My name is Zoe. This is Amar." She gestured toward the driver who was now out of the truck as well.

"Amar is dead," Tobias stated. His initiation instructor. And Eric's. He was killed a long time ago. Or so we had thought. He hadn't taken his death well.

"No, I'm not. Come on, Four," Amar told him.

Reaching toward Four, I recognize the fear in his face. I can only imagine what was going through his head. We'd known many who died, and to have one appear before us was something unexpected and hard to be believe. It made me imagine Tori getting out of the back of this truck, with Henry and Maggie and Andrew and Natalie and Al and Will and Lynn and Marlene and all the others that we had lost. So many…too many…

"We work for the same organization that founded your city." Zoe explained as she glared at Amar. "The same organization Edith Prior came from. And…" She paused, reaching into her pocket and took out a partially crumpled photograph. She held it out, meeting Tris's eyes. "I think you should look at this, Tris." She told her. "I'll step forward and leave it on the ground, then back up. All right?"

My heart was starting to race, watching Tris. She looks just as afraid as Tobias. How does this woman know her name? Not only that but the name she gave to herself after defecting to Dauntless?

"All right." Tris replied hoarsely.

Zoe stepped forward, setting the photograph down on the train tracks, then moved back to her original position. Taking a tentative step forward, Tris moved away from the safety of our group and I feel Eric's grip tighten around the gun. She crouched, keeping her eyes on the pair in front of us, before she gripped the photo and retreated back to us.

"Pen." She said looking at me.

Still gripping Eric, we moved closer to her, looking at the picture over her shoulder. There's a row of people in front of a chain-link fence, their arms slung across one another's shoulders and backs. There's a child that was clearly Zoe, her freckles giving her away. The longer we look; I suddenly realize the point of this picture.

"Eric." I whispered.

"I see them." He whispered back.

Both my parents were in this picture, young with broad smiles on their faces. Down the way, Natalie is also there, looking more like Tris than ever. Scoffing, I paced away from Tris, breaking from the group before yanking the gun from behind my pants and one handedly, steadily, aiming it at Zoe's head.

"Whoa. Hold on." She said holding her hands up higher.

"Pen." Eric said putting his hand on my outstretched arm.

Shaking my head, I felt tears. I knew that my parents knew more than they were telling me but this was something I hadn't even imagined. What the hell were they doing in that picture? Why would they be so close to what was happening and yet keep it from me? Why?

"What game are you playing at?" I shot at her through clenched teeth.

"Pen." Four said without looking at me.

Eric moved against me, "Baby, calm down."

"There is a lot to explain." Zoe said calmly. "But this isn't really the best place to do it. We'd like to take you to our headquarters. It's a short drive from here."

"Like hell." I shot at them.

"Pen." Four said again with authority.

"Tris." I said more air than sound.

There was a long stretch of silence before she replied, "Yeah."

"Baby, please." Eric said softly.

Meeting Eric's eyes, he offered me a small smile, instantly disarming me. Nodding, I lowered my gun. Looking to where Four and Caleb were now huddled around Tris and the picture. I hated it. I didn't want to know anymore. I suddenly felt the need to go back.

Eric seemed to sense it, taking my head in his hands, and made me look at him. "Baby, everything is going to be okay. This is why we're here. Just breathe. I'm right here."

Nodding, I put my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath my palm, "I love you." I whispered.

He smiled and kissed me, "I love you."

"Pen." Four said, his eyes meeting mine.

He looked at Zoe and Amar before meeting my eyes again. Looking at the pair of them, I tried to think of a reason to retreat. Eric was right, finding these people was the reason we were here. Meeting Four's eyes again, I nodded at him.

"Wherever we go, we have to be free to leave at any time," Christina told her. "Okay?"

Zoe placed her hand on her chest, right over her heart. "You have my word."

Looking at the others before meeting Eric's eyes, I knew we were all thinking the same thing. Was her word worth having?

Either way, we were going. Our group moved toward the back of the truck. All the while, Eric stood in front of me protectively. I still gripped the gun in my right hand, Eric's held firmly in my left. Getting into the back of the truck, I passed everyone, moving to the back of it, sitting on the bench in the corner. It ran along the entire truck bed and people were taking a seat sporadically along it. I wanted to be as far away from them as possible, shadowed from the rest of the truck bed. Keeping the gun, I felt anxious and like I might need it at any moment.

Eric had left me momentarily, speaking with Four, leaving me alone. Normally I wouldn't mind, but now another sat in front of me, her back against the side of the truck. Looking up, I met Hazel's eyes, glaring at her. She looked afraid and sad. I knew I should feel something toward her but in this moment I can't feel anything other than revulsion.

"What do you think it means?" She asked. I just waved my gun for her to leave me alone. "Why are Mom and Dad in that picture?"

Glaring harder at her, the truck started to move. "Go away."

"Pen, please." She said moving closer to me.

Frowning, I felt tears in my eyes, "You're the one who lived with them, Hazel. You would know better than me."

"They never said anything." She replied shaking her head. "I don't understand."

Sighing, I pulled my knees up against my chest, resting the gun against my feet, "I don't either, Hazel. All I know is that there is no going back. Not yet."

There was a long pause before she looked at me with glistening eyes, "I'm sorry about your friends."

My anger flared and I glared at her once again, "They weren't just friends. They were family. More so than you and our parents."

"You don't mean that." She frowned.

"Don't I?" I countered. "Our parents blame me for Maggie's death and for whatever's happened to you. They hate Eric and therefore must hate me since I am madly in love with the man who killed my sister."

"Our sister." She frowned.

Laughing, I shook my head, "You don't know what being a sister is. You betrayed all of us when you ran to Erudite and to Jeanine. You lost all rights to be in any part of my life. You're only here because of the blood and parents that we share. Your life has been saved, but whatever happens to you now doesn't matter much to me."

"I'm not giving up." She stated. "You're still my sister."

Scoffing, I shook my head again, "Where was this side of you when I was sitting in a cell in Erudite? Where was my concerned sister when Jeanine put me to death?!" I was yelling now, the truck bed going quiet. "I don't give a fuck if you give up or not. I'm done with you."

"I'm not going anywhere." She stated with stubbornness.

"Hazel! I don't care!" I yelled at her. "You abandoned me when I needed you most, so don't think for one second that you deserve forgiveness or sisterly affection. You're in the wrong fucking place if that's what you want."

Running my fingers through my hair with my free hand, my other was shaking with how hard I was gripping the gun. In the next moment Eric was there, gripping her arm and yanking her to her feet. He whispered something to her, making the color drain from her face, and then he shoved her back toward Caleb. The traitors deserved each other.

"Baby." Eric said softly, kneeling in front of me, pushing himself between my bent knees.

"I'm fine." I told him, gently rocking back and forth.

He sighed, reaching his hand up and tucked my bangs behind my ear. "No, you're not."

Putting my elbow on my bent knee, I buried my fingers in my hair, tears swiftly entering my eyes, "As fine as I can be."

"What can I do?" He asked gently.

Frowning at him, I knew it wasn't fair to take my anger out on him, but now he was in front of me, "Do? What can you do?" I shot at him. "Make my sister not be a traitor. Bring Maggie and Tori and Henry and everyone else back form the dead. Explain to me why my parents are in a picture from the outside. Turn back time and put us back in our bed the night Abnegation was attacked!" I yelled getting in his face. "I just want to go back to the way things were."

"Then what are you doing here?" Uriah asked, getting a glare from nearly everyone. "Why come this far if you want the factions to remain intact?"

"She doesn't answer to you." Eric shot at him, giving him a warning look. Uriah quickly backed down, lowering his eyes to the bottom of the truck bed. He sighed heavily, before moving as close to me as he could get, taking the gun from my hand. "Baby, listen to me. I know that things suck right now. There is a lot that we don't know. But we're alive as we're gonna be okay. We're gonna figure it out."

"Are we?" I asked with furrowed brows, gripping his arms. "What if this is all a mistake? Are we going to have to watch the rest of our family die?"

"Amar is alive." Eric told me. "We all thought he was dead a long time ago. Seeing him alive and outside the walls, that tells me that there is more going on than we think. There's hope that this is going to all be worth it. We just have to wait and see."

Nodding, I leaned against the side of the truck and shut my eyes. I was suddenly so tired that I couldn't stand it. I just wanted to forget for as long as possible. Feeling Eric move next to me, he pulled me into his arms. I hugged his arm to my chest as he cradled me in his strong embrace. His lips moved to my ear, whispering 'I love you' before placing a kiss against my temple.

Being shaken awake, I sat up, seeing everyone staring at what we were driving toward. Standing up, Eric gripped my hand, leading me toward the others. There was a tall fence that stretched wide across the countryside. Frowning, I wasn't sure what I had been expecting but this wasn't it. The fence has vertical black bars with pointed ends that bend outward, ominous to anyone who would attempt to climb over it.

There was another fence a few feet past it, chain-link like the one we were used to, with barbed wire looped over the top. A buzzing filled my ears and I can't help the dropping of my stomach. It's electrified. I already felt trapped. Gripping Eric, I watched people walk the space between them, carrying guns. Not handguns either. These are like the paintball guns from home. Only these I was sure held real bullets. I was so sick of bullets. I was sick of blood. I was sick of fear. Only now I had to overcome it.

"Bureau of Genetic Welfare?" I read and looked up at Eric.

He pressed a kiss against my forehead, looking at Amar who's talking to one of the armed guards. The first fence opened, and then the second. I feel like I couldn't move my eyes fast enough to take in everything around us. There were low buildings that are separated by shortly trimmed grass and young trees. The roads connecting them are well maintained and well-marked. Arrows are pointing toward various destinations, saying things like: greenhouses, straight ahead; security outpost, left; officers' residences, right; compound main, straight ahead.

"Eric." I whispered uneasily.

He let me go, mirroring Four as he leaned around the truck to get a glimpse of the compound. They seemed excited while I was filled with dread. Moving to the back of the truck, I sat in the corner again, not wanting to see. Not yet.

"Pen?" I hear Eric say when the truck had stopped.

Curling into myself, I shut my eyes, seeing the dead in the darkness it brought.

"Pen?" He repeated, coming back to me.

"Can I just stay here?" I asked him.

"Baby, come on." He said gently pulling on me.

I shook my head, "I want to stay here. I don't want to go out there."

He sighed and pulled on me a little harder, "Baby, you need to stay with me and I'm going. We're here to see what they're all about. So let's go."

"Can't I just stay here?" I asked with furrowed brows.

"No." He said and pulled me to my feet.

"Eric." I frowned, putting my weight against him.

He just gripped harder, pulling me with him, dropping us both from the back of the truck. Feeling another hand on my arm, I glared up at Four. Finally looking up, I saw a huge building, small in stature but everything else screamed immense. It was nothing but glass, steel, and concrete. Behind the compound there were smaller towers with bulges at the top.

"Suck it up." Eric whispered in my ear.

Frowning up at him, I sighed, pressing against his side, pulling free of Four's grip. "Fine."

"Don't be stubborn." He whispered in response.

"I love you. But I don't like you very much right now." I glared up at him. He laughed and kissed me, wrapping me in his arms. Sighing, I melted against his chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"Here we go." Tris muttered as Zoe and Amar stepped toward us.

"Welcome to the compound." Zoe told us. "This building used to be O'Hare Airport, one of the busiest airports in the country. Now it's the headquarters of the Bureau of Genetic Welfare—or just the Bureau, as we call it around here. It's an agency of the United States government."

A lot of what she says doesn't make any sense. It was safe to say that a lot of things weren't going to make sense. We were only ever told what we needed to know. What happened to the outside world, and how the world was before, wasn't a priority to those who fenced us in. Looking around, it wasn't just me; everyone looked as confused as I am.

"Sorry," Zoe stated. "I keep forgetting how little you all know."

"I believe it's your fault if we don't know anything, not ours." Peter retorted.

"I should rephrase." Zoe smiled gently. "I keep forgetting how little information we provided you with. An airport is a hub for air travel, and—"

"Air travel?" Christina interrupted with a skeptical look.

"One of the technological developments that wasn't necessary for us to know about when we were inside the city was air travel." Amar elaborated. "It's safe, fast, and amazing."

"Sounds…high." Eric said softly smirking down at me.

Smirking back at him, I wrapped my arm around him, leaning into his side. "Then I suggest we avoid it."

"I'm not afraid."

"I am." I replied and stuck my tongue out.

He quickly took it between his teeth before kissing me sweetly, making me laugh at him. I didn't think I'd ever laugh again. Only then we realized that everyone is watching us.

"Sorry." I said, running my finger across my bottom lip.

"Anyway." Zoe said but there's a small smile on her lips. "When the experiments were first developed, the airport was converted into this compound so that we could monitor the experiments from a distance. I'm going to walk you to the control room to meet David, the leader of the Bureau. You will see a lot of things you don't understand, but it may be best to get some preliminary explanations before you start asking me about them. So take note of the things you want to learn more about, and feel free to ask me or Amar later."

Taking a deep breath, Eric's grip on me tightened as we started toward the entrance. The doors are pulled open by two armed guards as Zoe led us, smiling at her as she passes. It was so odd to see them smiling while holding huge guns. It was as if they were Dauntless and Amity put together. They were like me. Friendly and kind and yet strong and ready for anything. My Dauntless side clung to the gun as we passed, curious as to how it would feel to shoot it.

We're met with cool air as we walk into the compound. It felt amazing, making me want to stop and just enjoy the breeze. Windows arch high above our heads, letting in soft light. The tiled floor is dull with dirt and age, and the walls are gray and blank.

"Maybe they'd like a mural." Eric whispered in my ear. I knew it was an attempt to comfort me. I appreciated the effort but didn't want to be babied either.

Hearing voices, up ahead there were several people along with a bunch of machinery and a sign over them that says Security Checkpoint. They might have smiles on their faces, but they took security extremely serious here. It made me wonder if it spanned from the horrors that took place, or if they were still worried about something happening to them.

Furrowing my brows, I turn my head as everyone else did, taking in a huge block of stone with a glass apparatus suspended above it. It stood at the far end of the room, down the long entryway. I could appreciate the art of it. It was beautiful. Looking around, there seemed to be mixed emotions about everything we were seeing. Looking to Four and Tris, he seems unsure while she looks excited and is taking everything in as a child does when seeing something for the first time. Then I have to remind myself. She is a child.

"What are you thinking?" Eric asked me.

Looking up at him, I wasn't sure what I was thinking. "I don't know yet." I frowned at him. "Is that okay?"

His expression turned sad and he nodded at me, "Yeah, baby. That's okay."

"I'm worrying you, aren't I?" I asked him sadly.

He shook his head, "Pen, you just lost two members of your family and now we're somewhere completely unimaginable. I think you're allowed a little time to wrap your head around everything."

"Thank you." I told him.

"It's only because I love you." He smirked.

Feeling tears, he pulled me against his chest, keeping me firmly there as we neared the checkpoint. All the people there stepped aside, forming a tunnel for us to walk through. Then Zoe was talking again, "Weapons are not allowed inside this facility, but if you leave them at the security checkpoint you can pick them up as you exit, if you choose to do so. After you drop them off, we'll go through the scanners and be on our way."

Eric let me go, moving to one of the gray containers that are being held out by the security staff. My hand moved to my gun and I wrapped my fingers around it with a vice grip. Looking at it, I would feel naked without it. I needed a weapon every step of the way so far and to not have it was going to be hard. Looking up, Eric was willingly giving his up. It looked like it pained him, but he was still doing it without question. When he was done, he turned me, seeing the struggle.

"It's okay." He told me.

"I'm afraid." I whispered to him.

His hand slid around mine, his touch warm and gentle. Letting him take it from me, he put it next to his. Then he turned back to me, holding out his hand. Sighing, I took the extra cartridge out of my pocket and handed it over. He did the same thing before facing me again with a raised brow. I shook my head and shrugged. He stepped up to me, reaching down and pulling a knife from my boot. I had actually forgotten that was there.

Smiling at him, he took my head in his hands, smiling back at me. "Let's do this."

"After you."

He turned toward the giant scanner. Only it wasn't as giant as I thought it would be, just big enough for a person. A big box with a tunnel through the middle. Gripping the back of his pants, I followed him forward. We watched as the majority of our party went through. Hazel was in front of Eric, and I couldn't help but take pleasure in her apprehension about going inside of it.

We couldn't go through together, and I reluctantly let go of Eric, watching him step into the scanner. He stood in the middle of it, his shoulders square as he held himself high. He had the furrowed brows I knew so well from before we were together. Grinning, I watched as whatever does the scanning rotated around him, letting out a high-pitched beep when it was done. He was motioned forward, and then it was my turn.

"You're next, Miss." A guard smiled at me.

"Thank you." I smiled back politely, stepping into the middle of it.

Taking a deep breath, the whole process didn't faze me, and even though it was only a few minutes, I moved eagerly to Eric's side as soon as the beep sounded. Turning back, I watched Four as he approached the scanner. I nodded at him, telling him that it was okay, knowing that his claustrophobia had to be acting up by now. When he was done, he stumbled out of it, taking a deep breath. I swiftly moved to him, wrapping my arm around his, pressing my shoulder against his to keep him steady. He gripped my elbow and met my eyes, nodding at me. Smiling, I pressed a kiss against his cheek, letting him go as Tris slid her hand into his.

"You're doing better than he is." Eric whispered into my ear.

"Not nice." I whispered back.

"Just saying."

"Just wait till we're alone. I'm sure I have a few more breakdowns left in me." I replied teasingly but couldn't have been more serious.

Once everyone was through, we kept moving. Now that we're past the checkpoint, the facility isn't as dingy as it was on the other side. The floors are still tiled, but they are polished and perfect. And windows. There were windows everywhere, causing a flicker of excitement in me as I looked around, seeing rows of lab tables and computers down a long hallway. It brought me back to Erudite; only with all the windows everything seemed so much brighter. It doesn't seem as secretive as home was.

Zoe didn't stop, leading us down a darker passageway on the right. We pass more people than I had anticipated and they all stop and watch, wondering who the hell we were. But they didn't seem unfriendly, merely curious about the new people. I see one girl that looks around my age, she's my height with long dark brown hair, partially braided on either side, dark eyes, and looked far too chipper. When I accidentally met her eyes, she bounced a little on the balls of her feet and waved at me. Smiling politely, I waved back, hearing a giggle from behind me. Still gripping Eric tightly, I turned and looked at her. She waved again. A genuine smile crossed my face and I couldn't help but chuckle at her. She was so alive compared to all the death that had settled upon me.

"See, making friends already." Eric teased.

"Maybe you were right. Maybe it won't be so bad here."

"I do have my wise moments."

I laughed lightly, putting my hand over his that was firmly on my hip. "You do. But in the end you're the only friend I need."

He smiled and kissed me deeply. Then we were once again taking in our surroundings as we endlessly followed Zoe who was leading us deeper into the compound. It was a relief when she finally stopped and faced us.

Behind her was a large circle of blank screens. Within the circle, sitting at low desks, are furiously typing people on even more screens. Those screens are facing out instead of in. My stomach turned slightly as I recognize it as the control room. Zoe had told us that was where she was taking us, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Thought it was different, being out in the open and it's unclear what they're observing since all the screens were dark. There were chairs and benches and tables all bunched together around the screens that face in, making it seem like it's something you can do at any given time.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it when our attention is drawn to an older man wearing a smile and a dark blue uniform, just like all the others. When he notices us coming, he spread his hands as if to welcome us. He was clearly the man in charge, though at the moment I can't remember the name we were told.

"This," he stated, "is what we've waited for since the very beginning."