To Forge Forever

by My Writing Is This

Just when one fight ended, another began. Having found each other, our family was whole again. I had Eric back and we were free to be together and happy. But the war was far from over. Breaking free of it all, we were still on the path of discovery, pain, and loss. Holding on to the little happiness we could find and the hope for a better future. A forever with the man I loved.

14. Words and Tests

Chapter Fourteen: Words and Tests

Walking back through the compound, it felt like all eyes were on us. Most waved, some touch my shoulder and smiled, and some bumped Eric's shoulder as we passed them by. Frowning, stepping in front of him, instead of feeling welcomed by the people, I was officially in protective mode. They could think what they wanted, but if they thought I was going to stand him being disrespected, they had another thing coming.

"It's okay." Eric said putting his hands on my shoulders.

"No, it's not." I frowned as I watched those we passed with suspicious eyes.

"It is okay." Ainsley told me gently. "Most just don't know everything he's done. He's mainly known as an associate to Jeanine Matthews. They'll see in time."

"I already fought this battle." I frowned at her. "He's proven himself. I don't feel the need to fight it again."

She put her arm around me, leading us back to the ballroom. Stepping in, everyone was doing random things, and some weren't even there. Four and Tris were sitting on a bed, making me smile at them.

"See you later?" Ainsley asked.

"Yeah." I smiled at her. "Thank you for taking us."

"Anytime, Pen. I mean that." She smiled and walked away.

Eric shoved me playfully as we walked toward our family. Shoving him back, he gripped me around the front of my waist and flipped me upside down. Throwing me over his shoulder, he walked to our beds before tossing me on top of one. Laughing, I attempted to grip his sides, only he had a firm grip on me, his hand behind my knee, making me squirm against him.

Then the doors opened and before I knew it I was on my feet, completely sobered from the enjoyment a moment ago. "Georgie." I whispered.

I'd know that face anywhere. It was Tori's face. Only it was male and alive. He had the same slanted and angled eyes. The same black hair. He looked so happy. My mind flashed back to the woods when I had said goodbye to Tori. Watching her die right in front of me. How was I going to explain that to him? How was anyone going to explain to him that his sister was dead? Looking around, almost all of our group's eyes are on me. Yes, I knew her best. Yes, I was there to hear her last words. But I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to be the one to tell him.

"I just got back." He told us, breathless. "They told me my sister set out with you guys, and –" The room went quiet and everyone was anxiously looking at anything but him. "And…" He went on. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Looking at Four, he nodded at me, a painful expression on his face. Eric gently rubbed my back before I slowly stepped toward him. Once I was in front of him, I held my hand out to him, seeing the confusion and dread fill him. He slowly took my hand, meeting my eyes.

"Tori did leave with us." I told him, covering his hand with my other. "We were retreating through the woods. The factionless soldiers were pursuing us. We were under gunfire and Tori was hit. She didn't make it." I had to swallow the lump in my throat. "I am so sorry, Georgie. Tori is dead."

He deserved a better explanation than that. He deserved to know who his sister had become and what she meant to me and those who knew her. He deserved so much more. I'd give him that. I'd tell him anything he wanted to know. But right now he had to process the news that she was gone and was never coming back. She wasn't like him. There was no resurrection for her.

He let go of my hand, touching the wall behind him for support, "What?"

"She gave her life defending us." Tris told him gently, making me look at her. She sounded genuine. "Without her, none of us would have made it out."

"She's…dead?" George asked weakly. Stepping forward, he leaned his entire body into the wall, and his shoulders sagged.

"I'll explain everything." I told him shaking my head. "I knew your sister well. She would have done anything to get us out of there. In the end it cost her life."

Hearing steps, I looked into the hallways, seeing Amar. He was nonchalantly eating a piece of toast, a smile on his face. Then he noticed us and it quickly disappeared. He set the toast down on a table by the door.

"I tried to find you earlier to tell you." Amar told him sadly.

My throat was tight as tears came to my eyes. "If you want me to tell you everything, I can." I told him softly as I watched his eyes grow glassy.

His hand moved to my shoulder while the other gripped Amar's shirt as he embraced him with one arm. Putting my hand over his, I watched the struggle on his face. I didn't think he wanted to cry in front of us but wasn't ready to move yet.

Amar met my eyes. He was worried. Putting my hand against his arm, I offered him a small smile, "If there is anything I can do, please let me know."

"Thank you." He smiled.

Supporting Georgie, they moved down the hall, talking softly. It took all of me not to follow them. He needed to know as much about his sister as I could tell him. He needed to know how amazing she was. How his death had motivated her in ways he probably never expected. How she had been the one to kill Jeanine and freed the Divergent from her wrath. He needed to know.

"Pen." Eric said softly.

"It's not fair." I told him with wet eyes. "It's just not fair."

He turned me into his chest. Resting my head against it, I listened to the beating of his heart. "I know, baby. But we can give him closure if he needs it. We're still here and we'll watch out for him now."

Smiling up at him, I pressed a kiss against the center of his chest, "You're a good man, Eric. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

He smirked and kissed me, "Your opinion is the only one that matters."

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "Yours too."

"Are they always like this?" A boy I don't know asked with a smirk on his face.

He's tall and his black hair is artfully styled in the front. Messy looking, but it would appear it was supposed to be that way. He's wearing a dark blue uniform with a plain black T-shirt underneath it. And for whatever reason, he had a black string around his throat. It shifts over his Adam's apple when he swallows. Kinda weird.

"Oh, that's Matthew." Tris said as she caught us frowning at him. "I guess we should get going."

"Going?" I asked her. "Where are you going?"

"Genetic testing." Four replied blandly. "Want in?"

Looking up at Eric, he looked unsure. But I was actually a little curious about it all. I wanted to know more about myself. "I'm in." I tell him, still looking at Eric.

He nodded, "I'll go. But that doesn't mean I'm going to participate."

"You can tag along if you'd like." Matthew told him. "But since you aren't Divergent, you won't need to participate in anything. Even if you wanted to."

"You know, I think we'll stay here." I frowned at him.

"Are you sure?" Matthew asked. "I'd really like it if you participated as well. You're kinda in the same boat as these two."

"In what way?" I frowned.

"You're special." He smirked.

Then Four was at my side, "Opie, I'd feel a lot better about this if you came too. As backup in case something should happen."

"Are you expecting something to happen?" I frowned.

"Pen." Eric said with edge to his voice. Something spiked his concern. "Just stay here with me."

"Pen." Four said with more authority than he'd used on me in a while.

"Guys, seriously?" I frowned at them.

"Maybe I should introduce myself." Matthew interjected, sticking out his hand. "Hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Matthew."

"Tobias." Four introduced himself. "And you too."

"Pen." I say doing the same.

"Eric." He said and clearly gave the boy a firmer handshake than he'd been expecting.

"So let's go to the labs, I guess." Matthew told us, shaking out his hand. "They're this way."

Tris was right behind him while the rest of us hadn't moved yet. I wanted to learn as much as I could and yet if Eric was uneasy about it, I didn't want to force him to go. And I didn't feel comfortable leaving him behind. Too much had happened and this was all still new. Even the thought of being away from him right now turned my stomach.

"You should go." Eric told me.

"Baby." I frowned up at him.

"No, it's fine." He nodded. "You need to learn about who you are. I'm okay with hanging back. I can intimidate Hazel and Caleb for a while or something." He smirked, getting a brow raise from me. "I'll keep myself busy."

"Are you sure?" I asked him. "Because I can skip this if you want. I can do whatever you want me to do."

"Go, baby. Just be sure you stick with Four at all times."

"Done." Four said putting his hand on my shoulder to emphasize it.

Eric smiled and nodded at him. Then he met my eyes, his hand moving to my face, "I'll be fine. Just be careful."

"I love you." I smiled at him.

"I love you too." He replied and kissed me quickly.

He wasn't happy. "I'll be back soon." I told him. "Love you."

He smiled and shoved me toward Four who was holding his hand out to me. "Go, baby."

Taking Four's hand, we went out into the hall to see Tris and Matthew a few yards down. Jogging to catch up to them, Matthew started out again. It seemed the number of people in the compound had doubled in the few minutes since we'd gotten back. They're all dressed in green or dark blue uniforms that are clearly too long or too short, bunching up at the bottom or sitting a few inches above their shoes; mentally promising myself that I would never wear pants that were too short.

The compound was full of open areas that branch off the major hallways. All of them are marked with a letter and a number, people moving in and out of them, some carrying glass devices, the screens full of words, images, and diagrams. Other's aren't carrying anything but are still moving with purpose toward whatever job they'd been given.

"What's with the numbers?" Tris asked. "Just a way of labeling each area?"

"They used to be gates." Matthew replied.

"Gates?" I frowned.

He nodded, "Meaning that each one has a door and a walkway that led to a particular airplane going to a particular destination. When they converted the airport into the compound, they ripped out all the chairs people used to wait for their flights in and replaced them with lab equipment, mostly taken from schools in the city. This area of the compound is basically a giant laboratory."

"What are they working on? I thought you were just observing the experiments." Four asked, watching a woman rush from one side of the hallway to the other. She has a screen balanced on both palms like an offering.

There are so many windows in this place that beams of light stretched across the polished tile, slanting through the ceiling windows. Following Four's line of sight, he's looking out the windows, seeing the short grass and the trees swaying in the wind in the distance. It's hard to imagine what everyone else is going through while we're here. The differences between us and them, since we are officially separated from the place we'd grown up and from the lives we had been building. Frowning, I had to remind myself that we were just an experiment, being left to breed the damaged genes out of our population.

It's such bullshit.

"Some of them are doing that." Matthew went on. "Everything that they notice in all the remaining experiments has to be recorded and analyzed, so that requires a lot of manpower. But some of them are also working on better ways to treat the genetic damage, or developing the serums for our own use instead of the experiments' use—dozens of projects. All you have to do is come up with an idea, gather a team together, and propose it to the council that runs the compound under David. They usually approve anything that isn't too risky."

"Yeah." Tris muttered with a slight eye roll. "Wouldn't want to take any risks."

"They have a good reason for their endeavors." Matthew told her. "Before the factions were introduced, and the serums with them, the experiments all used to be under near-constant assault from within. The serums help the people in the experiment to keep things under control, especially the memory serum. Well, I guess no one's working on that right now—it's in the Weapons Lab."

"Weapons Lab?" I frowned. "What kind of weapons lab?"

"You know, that's not really something I can talk about." Matthew replied only he seems to regret even bringing it up.

"Are we talking guns and knives or is it all serums and genetic shit?" I shot at him.

"Opie." Four said putting his arm around me. "It's fine."

"It's not fine." I said shrugging out of his arm, stopping. "Our home is nothing but an experiment and now we're here and they have some sort of weapon's lab but they won't tell us what's in it?"

He looked at the other two before stepping in front of me, "There's a lot we don't know. That's why we're here."

"Then let's learn something." I shot at him.

He put his hands on my arms, "One thing at a time, Opie." Shaking my head, I wished I'd just stayed back with Eric. Four knew me too well not to be able to read me, making him grip my wrist. "Opie, please."

"This doesn't feel right." I told him softly.

"I need you with me, Pen." He replied softly but with seriousness.

Keeping his eyes, I finally looked away, my focus moving to Tris and Matthew. Tris's brows were furrowed as she looked at me, nodding subtly. Looking at Four again, I sighed and nodded, pulling from his grip as I started walking again. He shot me a look but I simply stuck my tongue out at him, getting a smile in return. Smiling back, I shoved him, getting a shove back, nearly running into someone.

"So the Bureau gave us the serums, in the beginning." Tris stated.

"Yes." He nodded. "And then the Erudite continued to work on them, to perfect them. Including your brother. To be honest, we got some of our serum developments from them, by observing them in the control room. Only they didn't do much with the memory serum—the Abnegation serum. We did a lot more with that, since it's our greatest weapon."

"A weapon." Tris repeated.

"I hate serums." I muttered to Four.

"Me too." He smirked.

"Well, it arms the cities against their own rebellions, for one thing—erase people's memories and there's no need to kill them; they just forget what they were fighting about. And we can also use it against rebels from the fringe, which is about an hour from here. Sometimes fringe dwellers try to raid, and the memory serum stops them without killing them."

"That's…" Four started.

"Still kind of awful?" Matthew supplied.

"Horrible." I frowned.

"Yes, it is. But the higher-ups here think of it as our life support, our breathing machine. Here we are."

Scoffing, we wouldn't have been able to speak against our leaders so nonchalantly. But things were different here. I didn't think we'd ever fully understand it.

Watching Matthew, he scanned his card at a heavy door on our left, leading us down another hallway. This one is narrower and lit with pale fluorescent light. He stopped as a door marked Gene Therapy Room 1. Inside, there is a girl with light brown skin and a green jumpsuit who is replacing the paper that covered the exam table.

"This is Juanita, the lab technician. Juanita, this is –"

"Yeah, I know who they are." She smiled. Rolling one of my shoulders, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier knowing that they know us but we don't know them. The girl offers Four her hand. "Matthew's supervisor is the only person who calls me Juanita. Except Matthew, apparently. I'm Nita. You'll need three tests prepared?"

Matthew nodded.

"I'll get them." She opened a set of cabinets across the room and starts pulling things out. Following her, I look at the needles and vials she's pulling out. Nothing I wasn't familiar with. No one is saying anything, leaving the crinkling and ripping the prominent sounds in the room. Though Nita seemed sweet, allowing me to help, smiling as it's obvious I know what I'm doing. "How do you guys like it here so far?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"It has its moments." I smiled at her, getting one in return.

"It's been an adjustment." Tobias replied.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Nita smiled at my brother. "I came from one of the other experiments—the one in Indianapolis, the one that failed. Oh, you don't know where Indianapolis is, do you? It's not far from here. Less than an hour by plane." She paused. "That won't mean anything to you either. You know what? It's not important."

Turning back to the others, we're both holding a syringe and needle from the plastic-paper wrapping we'd just took it out of. "What is in them?" I asked her.

"What's that for?" Tris asked nervously.

"It's what will enable us to read your genes." Matthew replied. "Are you okay?"

"She's fine." I shot at him, holding up my hand. I felt like I was always answering for her in moments like this. "We've had our fair share of serums injected into us. We're not fond of being injected with strange substances." Tris nodded from my side.

Matthew nodded as well, "I swear it's just going to read your genes. That's all it does. Nita can vouch for it."

Nita nodded but it didn't make either of us feel better about it. She reached to inject her but I gripped her wrist, probably a little harder than I should have, getting an anxious frown in return. "Sorry." I told her, letting her go. "We'll do it."

"Okay." Nita smiled.

She prepared the syringe for Tris while I mimicked her with one for myself. I watched her pull the liquid out of a bottle into the syringe and then she handed it to me. Smiling, I followed suit, watching the silver-gray liquid spill into the syringe. Taking a deep breath when I was done, I watched her smile at Tris as she handed her the syringe.

"I'll give you the simplified explanation of how this works." Matthew told us as Nita brushed Tris's arm with antiseptic. Allowing her to do the same to me, the familiar alcohol smell filled my nose.

"The fluid is packed with microcomputers. They are designed to detect specific genetic markers and transmit the data to a computer. It will take them about an hour to give me as much information as I need, though it would take them much longer to read all your genetic material, obviously."

"Obviously." I frowned at him. He was talking to us like we actually knew what was going on. Did we understand what he was saying? Yes. But the ins and outs of genetics was something none of us were familiar with. Looking at Tris, we both have the needle at the crook of our arms. "Ready?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "Go."

Together, we plunged the needle into our arms and pressed the plunger, sending the liquid into our blood stream. I thought they would have taken our blood and tested it from there. They were far more advanced than I had expected them to be and yet not as much as I thought they should be. Honestly, I didn't know what I had expected. All I knew was that they were both more and less than I had imagined.

As soon as we removed the needles, Nita handed us a cotton ball to put over the hole, catching any residual bleeding. Then she motioned for Four's arm, cleaning it before injecting him with the fluid as well. He looked at Tris who offered him a small smile.

"What are the…microcomputers?" Four started, getting a nod from Matthew. "What are they looking for, exactly?"

"Well, when our predecessors at the Bureau inserted 'corrected' genes into your ancestors, they also included a genetic tracker, which is basically something that shows us that a person has achieved genetic healing. In this case, the genetic tracker is awareness during simulations—it's something we can easily test for, which shows us if your genes are healed or not. That's one of the reasons why everyone in the city has to take the aptitude test at sixteen—if they're aware during the test, that shows us that they might have healed genes."

Frowning at Four, he met my eyes. We were both aware in our simulations. It took me longer to realize that, but I knew what was happening. I had manipulated several simulations since I initiated; most with Four watching. When I'd taken the aptitude test, I had yet to realize what I was and had done it the way I thought Dauntless would do it. So maybe I had manipulated it, just without realizing it. And without triggering a response from the person who'd monitored the test. Something we'd been told would tell us where we belonged. Only now we knew it was just a ruse to get these people the information or result they wanted.

Divergence had always made us different. Special. There were times I thought I was some kind of freak because of what I was, but in the end it had always seemed to set me apart from the rest of our faction. Our city. Then we were being hunted, making it seem that we were that much more special. We had to be if Jeanine and the Erudite were willing to kill for it. To think it was just a sign of genetic healing to these people. Taking something that defined us and gave us power, and turned it into nothing special. Nothing at all.

Focusing on Matthew again, he was going on, "The only problem with the genetic tracker is that being aware during simulations and resisting serums doesn't necessarily mean that a person is Divergent, it's just a strong correlation."

"What?" I frowned, looking at Four again.

"Sometimes people will be aware during simulations or be able to resist serums even if they still have damaged genes." He replied and shrugged like it was no big deal. Taking a partial step forward, Four gripped my wrist. "That's why I'm interested in your genes, Tobias. I'm curious to see if you're actually Divergent, or if your simulation awareness just makes it look like you are."

"How dare you?" I shot at him.

"You're different." He said narrowing his eyes at me but was smiling like he was excited about something. I shook my head at him. "Where Tris is good at fighting serums and Tobias is good as being aware in simulations, you appear to be good at both. Something very uncommon in the Divergent."

"But it happens." I shot at him.

"Yes." He nodded. "It happens."

My mind was starting to reel with all this information. So they were sure that Tris was Divergent but now Four and I may not be? Actually, they hadn't put me into that category yet. But if there was a chance Four wasn't then there was a chance I wasn't. I wouldn't leave him in this alone. Not if I could help it. Pacing away from Matthew, I did a double take as I noticed Nita. She was clearing the counter but her expression is telling me that she wants to say something. Something that she probably shouldn't. It made me wonder what the hell was going on. They were silently contradicting each other and we had no idea why.

"All that's left is to sit and wait." Matthew told us. It would seem that he was sensing the uneasiness of the room. "I'm going to go get breakfast. Do any of you want something to eat?"

Four and Tris shook their heads while I simply continued to pace.

"I'll be back soon. Nita, keep them company, would you?"

He left without even acknowledging Nita for a response. Crossing my arms, I frowned at the door he'd just passed through. Turning back to the others, Tris sat on the examination table, the paper crinkling underneath her, tearing where her leg hung over the edge. Nita put her hands in the pockets of her jumpsuit, looking at all of us. She handed Four a cotton ball as a bubble of blood started to grow at the needle site.

"So you came from a city experiment." Tris said breaking the silence. "How long have you been here?"

"Since the Indianapolis experiment was disbanded, which was about eight years ago. I could have integrated into the greater population, outside the experiments, but that felt too overwhelming." Nita replied as she leaned against the counter. "So I volunteered to come here. I used to be a janitor. I'm moving through the ranks, I guess."

"Janitor? Is that what we have to look forward to?" I asked with a harsh tone.

Though hers hadn't been much different. It didn't seem she was too impressed with this new way of life. If it had taken eight years to get this far, how long would it take for any of us to achieve the same? Not only that but is this the highest she could go? If so, she had a long future of doing the same thing, day in and day out. I suddenly longed for the Parlor. Wanting the unknown aspect of the human imagination.

"And your city, it didn't have factions?" Tris asked.

"No, it was the control group—it helped them to figure out that the factions were actually effective by comparison. It had a lot of rules, though—curfew, wake-up times, safety regulations. No weapons allowed. Stuff like that."

"What happened?" Four asked.

In the next moment I knew he regretted it. If he hadn't asked I would have, but seeing the expression she now wore, the corners of her mouth turned down, the memory of it clearly painful, and I knew that he wished he hadn't asked.

"Well, a few of the people inside still knew how to make weapons. They made a bomb—you know, an explosive—and set it off in the government building." She explained. "Lots of people died. And after that, the Bureau decided our experiment was a failure. They erased the memories of the bombers and relocated the rest of us. I'm one of the only ones who wanted to come here."

"I'm sorry." Tris told her softly.

"Me too." I added.

"It's all right. It's not like you guys don't know about stuff like this." She replied. "With what Jeanine Matthews did, and all."

I nodded, "We've been through enough for a lifetime."

"Why haven't they shut our city down?" Tris asked. "The same way they did to yours?"

"They might still shut it down." She replied. "But I think the Chicago experiment, in particular, has been a success for so long that they'll be a little reluctant to just ditch it now. It was the first one with factions."

Rolling the cotton ball between my fingers, I frown as the red of my blood is seen every few turns. Looking at my arm, I knew it wasn't bleeding, but part of me wished the conversation would end. I didn't like talking about our city as if it wasn't…real.

"I like to think I would have chosen Dauntless." said Nita. "But I don't think I would have had the stomach for it."

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "Most don't."

"You'd be surprised what you have the stomach for, when you have to." Tris told her.

"It's still a decision that you made." I told her. "You chose Dauntless. They didn't choose you until you gave them a reason to. It was a decision that you made. That all of us made. I agree that you'd be surprised when you don't have a choice, but our faction wasn't one of those. We chose it. It's what came after that we had no choice in."

"That's what I meant." Tris said softly.

"I didn't choose to be under attack. I didn't choose to be Divergent. I didn't choose to be a part of this war. It was thrown at me and in order to save myself and those that I care about I had to see it through."

"But you didn't." Tris retorted. "You could have ran and hid."

"That's not who I am."

"Exactly." She replied. "It's not who you are and therein lies the choice. You chose this just as much as the rest of us."

"Right." I said and went and slouched against the wall.

She was probably right but I didn't want to admit that in this moment. For as much as some of it had been a choice, a lot of it hadn't been. I didn't choose to almost lose Eric. I didn't choose for my sister to die. I didn't choose for Eric to have to deal with his demons and mine. There was plenty that I hadn't chosen. I was starting to feel that those outnumbered the ones I had.

It was eerily right on the hour mark when Matthew finally came back. He didn't say much, but went and sat at the computer. He sat there in silence for a long time, his eyes shifting back and forth as he reads the screen. He made a revelatory noise every once in a while, making us all look at him. Then I continued my pacing, my arms crossed, wondering what Eric was doing. Thinking about him helped me not get overly annoyed or anxious at this boy who was going to tell us about our Divergence.

"How you doing?" I asked Tris softly.

"I'm anxious." She replied.

I nodded, "Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. I've been a bit unstable and I'm sorry for that too."

Then she met my eyes, smiling gently, "But you seem better."

"Do I?" I smiled. "Good. Eric and I made a friend who took us to the river. I had pulled a pile of petals from the atrium to dedicate to Tori and Henry. Letting them go in the water seemed to help. That and Eric and I finally cried it out."

"I'm glad you got to grieve." She replied. "It's starting to feel like the number of the dead just keeps rising."

"As long as it's not us or the ones we love." I replied with certainty.

She nodded, her smile faltering. "I need to tell you something." She told me.

"Uh oh." I frowned at her.

"No, I don't think it's necessarily bad."

"Okay." I nodded.

"David gave me a tablet that has my mother's files on it from when she was here. And letters she had sent to David." She told me.

"Good." I smiled. "Then you can hopefully get some closure." She nodded. "What?" I asked shaking my head.

"He gave me one for you too." She told me.

Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I nodded, "Okay."

"My mother was sent into the city when Jeanine's predecessor started to hunt the Divergent. She was sixteen. Your parents were the same age, sent in when my mother sent word that she couldn't do it alone."

"They were both put into Amity?" I frowned.

"I don't think so. My mom was put into Dauntless because of her pre-existing tattoos and they were told she was fifteen. I'm sure they told the same thing in whichever faction your parents were put into. Then when my mother's Divergence appeared she was told to choose a safer faction."

"Makes sense." I nodded. "But…"

"I know." She told me. "I haven't read any of my mother's so I can't really tell you anything else. All I can say is that the information is available if you want it."

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

Did I want it?

Did I want to know exactly what my parents had done and been through?

They were alive and when I asked them they denied me. What was so bad that they didn't want me to know? Why didn't they tell me about this place? Why would they have let me come out here ignorant when they knew exactly what I was walking into? There were so many questions that I did want answered. But did I want to read it for myself or wait for the day to come when I finally saw them again? I didn't have to figure it out right now.

"You're going to talk to Eric about it first, aren't you?" She smirked at me.

Smiling, I felt a slight blush rise in my cheeks. "Yes, Tris. I will."

"Why?" She asked. Not in a mean way. It was obvious that she was genuinely curious.

"We're a team, Tris. We always have been. Even when we weren't together we were still a team. I can't imagine doing anything without him if I can help it."

"It's kind of crazy how different our relationships are."

I laughed and nodded, "It really is. But we're happy, Tris. Right?"

She did the odd thing and hugged me, making me tense before I was hugging her back. We didn't hug often and usually there was more emotional turmoil to make the action happen. But it was nice. Relaxing into her, it felt good, feeling like I had a sister here. Without Claude, she was it, and I was starting to feel that bond forming. Releasing her, Four was smiling at us. Grinning at him, I nudged Tris, getting her to grin too. At least it helped lighten us up as we waited.

Finally Matthew looked up and turned the screen around so we can see what's on it. "This program helps us to interpret the data in an understandable way. What you see here is a simplified depiction of a particular DNA sequence in Tris's genetic material." He explained.

I'd seen DNA before but it was so limited that the only thing I can recognize is what he's already said it was. DNA. A complicated mass of lines and numbers, with certain parts selected in yellow and red.

"These selections here suggest healed genes. We wouldn't see them if the genes were damaged." He said tapping certain parts of the screen. Furrowing my brows, I tried to understand but wasn't following as well as I would have hoped. None of us are and he hasn't noticed, too caught up in his own explanation. "These selections over here indicate that the program also found the genetic tracker, the simulation awareness. The combination of healed genes and simulation awareness genes is just what I expected to see from a Divergent. Now, this is the strange part."

He touched the screen again, making it change, but it's still just as confusing, now showing a web of lines, and tangled threads of numbers.

"This is the map of Tobias's genes." Matthew explained. "As you can see, he has the right genetic components for simulation awareness, but he doesn't have the same 'healed' genes that Tris does."

"What does that mean?" Four and I say at the same time.

"It means," Matthew replied, "that you are not Divergent. Your genes are still damaged, but you have a genetic anomaly that allows you to be aware during simulations anyway. You have, in other words, the appearance of a Divergent without actually being one."

"That's impossible." I retorted angrily. "There must be a mistake."

"If there is, you tell me." Matthew replied motioning toward the screen. "Do you see the differences?"

Stepping forward, I hovered over him, "How do I switch screens?"

He showed me where to tap and I flipped back to Tris's results and then again to Four's. Back and forth. Back and forth. Studying them as I tried to find some flaw in his reasoning. I didn't find one. Looking up at Four, he looked like he'd taken a blow. His genes are just as damaged as Eric's are. As Christina's and everyone else's.

"What about mine?" I asked him. Tris moved closer to me, looking at the screen.

He pulls up mine; I can see my name on the top of the screen. I shudder at how much information they know. Looking at it, he highlights the sections that show the healed genes and the genetic tracker.

"You have more." Matthew smiled.

"What does that mean?" I frowned at him.

He sighed and looked at me, "You're special."

"I don't want to be special." I shot at him, pushing myself away from the desk. "And is that because I'm older than Tris?"

"Maybe," He nodded. "But doubtful. Your genes are your genes at birth."

"But both my parents came from this facility." I frowned at him.

His smile broadened, "Which is another crazy thing to think about. Your parents were sent in to help save the Divergent. Now, unless they never did any genetic testing on them while they were here, one or both of them are Divergent."

"But neither of my sisters are Divergent. So if one or both of my parents are, why am I the only one?"

"It's genes." He shrugged. "There is no way to know everything about them. We can do all the research and experiments we want, but at the end of the day, there will still be anomalies and surprises that we can't explain. The Purity War made that very clear to us. No matter how hard we tried to create genetically pure people, some were always damaged. An infinite amount of possibilities."

He made sense. But that didn't change the fact that I felt worse about myself instead of better. I didn't want to be Divergent if that meant Tobias was damaged. That part didn't make any sense. I understood anomalies but this was Tobias. This was Four. He was the perfect Divergent and now he's being told that he has the ability to be aware in simulations but his genes are still damaged. His father was Divergent and yet he wasn't. I was Divergent but my sisters weren't. Shutting my eyes I shook my head, trying to process all of this.

"Matthew." Tris said. "Don't you want to take this data to your lab to analyze?"

"Well, I was planning on discussing it with our subjects here." Matthew replied.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Tris told him, leaving no room for argument.

He looked taken aback but nodded, clearing the screen, "Alright. But if you want any more information, feel free to visit my lab at any time."

We all nod, but no one says anything. He left the room and now it's the four of us, standing in silence. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Four. He's clearly shaken by this. Stepping up to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face there as he did the same, his arms not as strong as they usually are as he wrapped them around me.

"It's okay." I whispered to him.

Then I felt Tris next to us, "It's not that big a deal." She told him firmly. "Okay?"

In the next second he shoved me away from him, turning to her, practically yelling, "You don't get to tell me it's not a big deal!"

Wrapping an arm around myself, I put my elbow on top of it, my fingers against my lips. I took another step back, glancing at Nita who is busying herself at the counter, making sure the containers there are lined up, though they haven't moved since we first came in.

"Yeah, I do!" Tris exclaimed. "You're the same person you were five minutes ago and four months ago and eighteen years ago! This doesn't change anything about you."

I'd told Eric something very similar. Because it was true. Nothing had changed because of this. It didn't mean anything. It would never mean anything. He was the same man who helped make me the woman I am today. The same man who fell in love with the spitfire in front of me. The same man who has been protecting all of us throughout this entire journey. Nothing has changed.

"So you're telling me this affects nothing. The truth affects nothing." He told her angrily.

"What truth?" She countered. "These people tell you there's something wrong with your genes, and you just believe it?"

"It was right there." He replied gesturing toward the screen. "You saw it."

"I also see you." She told him fiercely, gripping his arm. "And I know who you are."

I can tell that he wants to believe her. But everything inside of him is now telling him that there's something wrong with him. But it's not true. "I…need to take a walk. I'll see you later."

"Tobias, wait –" Tris told him, but he's already gone.

Looking at Tris, I rushed out of the room, "Tobias!" I yelled. He stopped but didn't turn around. Running toward him, I spun in front of him. "You are not damaged. I don't give one fuck about what those screens say or what they think they know. You are amazing and not damaged. Tris is right. Nothing has changed, Tobias. Nothing."

"You're pure." He said finally meeting my eyes. "You wouldn't understand." He said pushing past me.

"Bullshit!" I yelled, rushing in front of him and slammed my hand against his chest. "You aren't this person. You don't believe something just because they say it's true."

"There's proof!" He yelled at me. "Right on the screen!"

"It doesn't mean anything!" I yelled back. "You are perfect just the way you are. You don't need special genes for that to be true."

"Pen, just stop."

"No! I will not let you disappear because of one little thing like genes. If it's that big of a deal then let them use us as guinea pigs and let's just swap genes. Because I'd much rather be damaged than pure."

"Don't say that." He frowned.

"It's true." I told him. "Because if you haven't forgotten, Eric is also damaged. How do you think he feels about it?"

"Probably the same as I do." He sighed.

"Exactly. But I told him the same as I'm telling you. He is perfect. You are perfect. No matter what genes run through you, you are perfect just the way you are and I love you just as much now as I did ten minutes ago when we all thought we were this special little group of people. And Tris feels the same way. Do not push her away because of this."

"I'm nothing like her." He frowned.

Sighing, feeling emotion starting to build up, I took his hand. "You may not share her Divergence anymore but you are everything to her. She loves you and wants you just the way you are. Damaged and all."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that, Tobias. I do know that. Because I want Eric more now than I ever have before. Nothing has changed between us because nothing has changed. I'm saying this as someone who is going through the same thing that you are. Talk to Eric. Let him tell you how much it doesn't matter because it doesn't matter."

"The more you say it doesn't make it any more true."

"Don't be like this." I told him sadly.

He sighed, gripping my hand tightly before letting it go, moving around me. "I need to clear my head. I'll see you later, Pen."

Sighing, I watched him go, "I'm your Opie." I said softly even though he couldn't hear me.

Turning back to the lab, Nita was slowly walking down it, smiling at me as I passed her. Going back into the Gene Therapy room, I sighed and shrugged, gesturing with my arms, as I stepped back up to Tris. She just smiled and nodded at me.

"I tried." I told her.

"I know." She nodded. "And I'm sure he heard you. I'm just not sure if he's ready to listen."

"He's not." I replied, crossing my arms and looking at the floor as I scuffed it with my shoe.

"What now?" She asked.

I shrugged and sighed again, "I think I'm going to get back to Eric. Unless you wanna hang out for a while. To talk or anything."

"No, I'm good." She smiled.

"Okay." I smiled, hugging her briefly before turning to the door.

Leaving, I passed Nita on her way back to the room, nodding as her with a smile before I was passed her. Then I saw Zoe making her way down the hall. I hadn't talked to her much and didn't really feel like it right now, but she smiled and waved, making me do the same, slowing as she stopped and turned to me.

"I've been tracking you all down." She smiled. "We've scheduled a plane ride for everyone. If you're interested."

"That's very kind of you. Thank you, Zoe. But I have a horrible fear of heights so I'm going to have to pass." I told her kindly.

"I understand." She smiled. "If you happen to change your mind, we're meeting at gate B14 in two hours."

"Okay. Thank you." I smiled before moving back down the hall.

Practically running, I made it back to the ballroom, opening the door and immediately looked for Eric. Seeing him on his bed, I rushed toward him, finally feeling all the tension leave my body, then I noticed the tablet he had in his hands, reading something on its surface.

"Eric." I frowned at him.

"Hey." He said looking up at me. "This was sitting on your bed."

For a second I was furious with him. That was the tablet Tris had told me about. The one with all my parents' files and letters and whatever else they had stored here. It was all the things I didn't know and he was already reading through it. He sensed it, quickly shutting it down and standing.

"Pen." He said holding up his hands.

"It's fine." I said shaking my anger down to a manageable level, holding my hand up to him as well. "Sit down." He did, looking anxious. Sighing, I did the same, taking his hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and pressed a long kiss against them.

"Baby?" He frowned. "What happened?"

"I am officially deemed genetically pure." I replied. "Tris as well. And…"

"And?" He frowned.

"And despite Four's ability to be aware during simulations, his genes do not support his Divergence. He is technically genetically damaged." I told him.

"What?" He frowned.

Nodding, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "He didn't take it well."

"I know the feeling." He replied softly.

Furrowing my brows, I moved closer to him. "Hey. But you believe me, right? When I tell you that it doesn't matter? That nothing has changed and that I am more in love with you now than I have ever been? You believe me, right? Because nothing has changed, Eric."

His hand found my face, smiling at me, "I do believe you, Pen. But it's still something that kinda weighs on a guy."

"Why?"

"Not so much me, but I'm sure Four is now comparing himself to Tris, realizing that she is…better than he is."

"But she's not." I frowned.

"I know." He nodded. "But to him, their Divergence was part of their bond. Without it, I'm sure he's feeling a bit overwhelmed and upset."

"But you're not, right? Because if you are than you need to tell me. Don't let me believe that we're good if we're not." I replied anxiously.

He smiled, pulling me into his lap as he leaned back against the wall, his hands against my thighs. "We're good, baby." He told me. "I don't care if I'm damaged and you're pure. You've always been perfect to me. This just proves it." Leaning down, I kissed him deeply. Then his brows furrowed, "And I thought we were talking about Four."

"He may have made me feel insecure about what you're feeling. I just don't want you to placate me by agreeing with me or telling me what I want to hear." I replied, gently gripping the front of his shirt. "I want you to be honest with me. No matter what you're thinking or feeling."

"I am always honest with you." He told me matter-of-factly. "We wouldn't make an effective team if we weren't honest with each other."

Smiling, I kissed him again, my hands finding his neck as I pressed my forehead against his. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"Do we say that too much?" I asked. "I mean, we know, so do we have to say it? We could come up with a word or something to mean it instead."

He laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, no." He told me. "I like hearing it. I like saying it. I love you, Penelope Farrier, and I am not afraid to say it or for everyone to know it. I love you!" He yelled.

Laughing, I blushed heavily as everyone in the room looked at us, "Stop. Okay. Okay."

Then he was kissing me, stifling the laugh in my throat. His tongue parted my lips and I took a deep breath of him. Rubbing mine against his, I deepened the kiss until I couldn't breathe, keeping it until we both needed to take a breath.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I told him, kissing him several more times until the sound of throats clearing finally reached my ears. Leaning away from him, I ran my thumb across his lips.

"Good. Never stop saying it." He told me firmly.

Smiling, I took his head in my hands, "Whatever you say, baby."

"Now, then. Are we still talking about Four?"

"Will you talk to him when he gets back?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He nodded.

Sighing, I nodded, "Thank you."

"Anything for you, baby."

Laughing lightly, I kissed him once more before moving off of him. Picking up the tablet, I held it in my lap and looked up at him. "How far did you get?"

"I'm a pretty fast reader." He replied.

Smiling, I took his hand, "I know. So how far did you get?" He sighed and nodded. "Baby." He wrung my hand. "Eric."

"There is a lot of emotions and feelings inside of there. They talk about how they fell in love here at sixteen. They were split up when they volunteered to go into the city. They had a secret relationship until the Choosing Ceremony. Then they both picked Amity. It was the one faction that they could see themselves raising their children in. She was pregnant with Hazel at nineteen. Maggie at twenty-one. And then you at twenty-six. She wrote about how honored she was to be a mother. Your father wrote about how blessed he was to have the love of his life with him, raising her children in a safe and happy faction. Watching you grow into the talented women that you are."

"That's a lot of positive." I told him. "Where's the negative?"

"They were second guessing what they were sent here to do. They wanted to protect the Divergent but they couldn't live a lie. They did what they had to do. And they kept in touch with the compound here longer than Natalie did. They wanted to have as much of their lives documented as they could. They reported anomalies in your dad's aptitude test. It was years later when your mom admitted to the same."

"So Matthew was right. Both of my parents are more than likely Divergent as well."

He nodded, "Sounds that way." I nodded back, taking a deep breath. "One of the last reports they sent was their concern that with Jeanine in control, her influence was spreading, seeing changes even in their own home."

"Hazel?" I asked with furrowed brows.

He nodded again, "They've always been worried about Hazel."

"They should have said something."

"And they've always known about you." He added with a small smile.

"What?" I frowned. "How?"

"Your mom claimed that there were no words to make anyone believe it. But that the fight you had in you and the resistance and perseverance that you showed even as a child, made her believe with all of her that you were Divergent. Both your parents, in different entries, vowed to protect you for the rest of their lives."

"Then I defected."

He nodded, "Then you defected. Only it didn't stop them. It had been years since your parents had any contact with the compound. But he made one last trip out here and fought for you. It wasn't long after we started seeing each other. Jeanine had started to move plans forward. The danger was becoming real. He fought for you to be saved as George was saved. As Amar was saved. He wanted you taken out of the city and brought here." Shaking my head, I didn't understand. "But when it came time to fake your death, they couldn't do it."

"Why not?" I asked airily.

"Because they were told about how happy you were. They were told about me. They didn't want to ruin your life. Even if they went through with it, they knew you'd be miserable. You wouldn't have stayed here. You would have gone back and would have left a lot of questions in your wake."

"They let me stay because of you?" I smiled at him.

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah, they did. Which is good, because if they made me think you dead I'd never have recovered, and I never would have made it this far."

"You would have, Eric. You're not the same man you once were."

"At the time they wanted to kill you, I hadn't quite made the transition yet. If they had gone through with their plan I would have become the monster you had been trying so hard to keep me from being."

"I love you." I smiled, rubbing his arm.

"And I love you more than anything." He replied slipping his fingers into my hair, pulling me to him so he could kiss me.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"You'll have to read them for yourself, baby."

"No." I told him, setting the tablet aside. "You finish them if you want, but I don't want to read them."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because even the small amount you just told me, makes me want to wait and hear them tell me themselves." I replied.

"Do you finally forgive them?" He asked.

"Do you think I should?" I countered.

He sighed, and nodded, "Yeah, baby, I do. They've done everything they can to protect you. They still thought the best way of doing that was to keep knowledge of this place from you. And that night we left, emotions were so high, I just think they didn't know what to do. I think they wanted to tell you but we didn't leave them any room to argue when we left."

"It felt good to leave them behind." I told him with furrowed brows. "It felt like it solidified the idea in my mind that I truly only need you."

"Just because you want to see them again and talk to them, doesn't mean you need them. You would be fine without them, but they're still your parents and they've had a pretty decent run together. They almost compare to us."

Laughing lightly, I cocked my head at him, "Really?"

"Mm-hm." He replied. "Your Dad ended up in Erudite when he was put into the city. He attempted to gather as much information about what Jeanine and her predecessor were planning, but everything was pretty hush-hush. Then he got scared for your mother who was in Abnegation, and decided they needed to join a faction that they could trust."

"Wow." I told him.

"Yup." He nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to read them?"

"Today I am." I smiled at him. "But I know it's here if I want to read them. But right now I'm okay with not reading them."

"Okay." He smiled.

"I saw Zoe in the hallway on my way back. She said they're taking us up in one of the planes."

"Us?" He frowned. "Are you coming?"

"Are you going?"

"I was going to, yeah." He nodded.

"Good." I smiled at him. "But no, I am not going. Too high for me."

"You don't mind, do you?"

I furrowed my brows, waving him off, "Of course not. I left you to go deal with my genes. Now you get to have your own experience with these people."

His expression turned serious, "What do you think about these people?"

"Most I don't like very much." I told him honestly. "Not as people necessarily, but I don't agree with everything they're about. I don't agree with putting everyone into two categories. I can't say we would have been better off staying in the city, but I do have heavy reservations about what they're doing here. All the serum creations, the genetic testing, the lies and the watching…all of it makes me uncomfortable." He nodded. "What about you?"

"I agree." He told me. "I think they're causing more trouble versus actually finding a solution to whatever problem they think exists. As long as we're all living, why should it matter what genes we have?"

"Exactly." I nodded.