Chapter Fifteen: Bonding
As soon as Eric was gone, I couldn't help the melancholy that settled over me. Not that I couldn't handle a little alone time. We all needed a little alone time every now and again. Sitting on the bed, I held the tablet in my hands, turning it on and off. Everyone else had gone for the ride on the plane, and Four hadn't been seen since he left the lab. I wondered where his head was; wanting to find him, but if he didn't want to be found than it wasn't going to happen.
"Pen?" A voice said from the door.
"Ainsley." I smiled at her.
"Didn't want to go up in the plane?" She asked as she stepped forward.
Laughing lightly, I shook my head. "No, I did not."
She slowly sat next to me, putting a small paper folder in her lap. "Not a fan of heights, huh?"
"I'm afraid of heights. Not as much as other things, but it's definitely up there." I replied.
She picked up the tablet, sliding her fingers down the front of it. "Are your parents on here?" I nodded. "Are you gonna read it?"
"Nope." I replied. "Eric read it and he gave the highlights. I'll wait and let them tell me when I see them again. If I ever see them again."
She just looked at me a moment and then stood up, "Come on."
"To where?" I asked.
"I want to show you something." She told me.
"And the folder?" I asked.
"We'll do that when we get back." She replied setting it down on the bed.
Getting up, I followed her from the room, walking familiar halls until we were standing in front of the control room. Letting us inside, she sat at one of the computers, pulling a chair closer to her. Sitting down, I looked at the monitor as she clicked some buttons and tapped the screen. Small squares appeared on the screen. She tapped a few more, leaving a foursquare group.
"Amity." I said and reached toward the screen.
"Wait." She told me. She clicked a few buttons and then nodded at me.
Trailing my fingers across the screen, I saw the giant tree, the fields, the barns, and the cafeteria. People move in and out of the frames. Some I recognize but most I don't. My eyes are looking for any sign of my parents.
"Usually they've shown up by now." Ainsley said as she started clicking and tapping again.
I watched as the screens changed, making them bigger and smaller. Changing the angles and then coming back to where we had started. She looked at me with a frown, shrugging and shaking her head.
"How do you switch between the factions?" I asked her.
She showed me, and then gave me the mouse, allowing me to click between the cameras, teaching myself what I could tap on and how it worked. Ainsley watched me with slight fascination as I searched for my family. Frantically flipping through screens, frustration started to take over and I slammed my hands against the keyboard, shoving myself away from the desk. All eyes in the control room are on me. Breathing hard, I stood and moved from the room, rushing back toward the ballroom.
"Pen. Pen, wait." Ainsley said following me. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." I told her but kept moving. "You gave me hope of seeing the people I care about."
"Then it is my fault." She replied, falling in step next to me.
"No." I told her. "I appreciate you trying."
She smiled and nodded, "We'll try again."
"Thank you." I smiled back at her.
"Kid?" A voice said from behind me.
Turning, I couldn't help the shock that crossed my face. "Doc." I said and then I was rushing toward her, throwing my arms around her neck. "Oh my god. Doc. What are you doing here?"
"I gotta say it's damn good to see you, Kid." She replied hugging me tightly.
"Why are you here?"
She sighed and started to walk again. She led me and Ainsley to the cafeteria, getting a cup of coffee before taking a seat. "I had a falling out with Evelyn." She told me.
"Because of Edward?" I asked. She nodded. "What did she do?"
"She wanted me gone." She told me sadly.
I frowned at her, "Gone? Like dead gone?"
She shook her head, "I don't know. All I know is that I needed to get gone, so I got gone."
"Did the people here find you?"
She nodded, "I had been wandering around for a few days before I was picked up by Zoe and Amar. They do a lot of the scouting around the borders between our world and theirs."
"I'm sure they could use another doctor." I smiled at her.
She sighed, lifting her eyebrows, and nodded. "Sure."
"What is it?" I asked.
"They're doctors are better here." She stated. "My training turns out is quite minimal compared to theirs here. I'm not as needed as I used to be."
"I still need you." I smiled at her.
"What job are they going to give you?" She asked.
"It's been a day. Right now they're just letting us get acclimated."
She nodded, "That'll end soon enough."
"Not very fond of them either?" I asked as we glanced around us.
"Something isn't right." She replied. I nodded as her. "But if you want to jumpstart your career here, you're more than welcome to become my nurse." She added and smiled. "I'm sure if I vouch for you, they'll allow it. I've seen what you can do. You'd be an asset."
"I'll think about it." I smiled at her.
"Gotta check with that boy of yours?" She smiled back.
"We're a team." I nodded.
She put her hand on my forearm. "You're lucky."
"I know I am." I grinned at her. "He's amazing."
"Well, I do have a few patients to see to. Want to join me? Everyone else seems to be preoccupied."
"Yeah." I nodded, both of us standing. "You wanna come, Ainsley?" I asked her.
"I'm not very good with blood." She smiled squeamishly. "I'll come find you again later."
"Okay." I smiled at her. "Thank you."
Following Doc back to the hospital, she showed me around. There was an emergency type area for people who needed to be treated fairly quickly. There were also two wings of rooms for the patients, which only added up to about twenty-four. It doesn't seem like a big number to me but the more she talked and the more patients we checked up on, the number went from small to infinite.
She showed me all the equipment I was unfamiliar with, giving me a quick rundown on what they did and how to use them. It was a lot of information and I knew I wasn't going to be able to remember a lot of it until I was able to use it. Nodding as we went along, we talked to the patients and a few of the other nurses. Greg, one of the nurses she had befriended, he talked us through some of their procedures they'd done recently and their protocol for patient recovery.
By the time I left, I felt like my head was going to fall off. I was all for helping out since I had run the Med Area back home, but I knew when I was out of my league. Not that I wouldn't bust my ass to do the best I possibly could. Though right before I left, there had been an accident in the training room. One of the guards had tripped and busted his knee. He had been pretty upset and ramie, giving me much pleasure in holding him down, yelling at him, and even hitting him once when he lunged at another nurse who clearly had never been lunged at before. Her eyes became discs and she was too shaky to get in the IV. Taking it over, I slid the needle into his vein, administering the sedative and holding down his shoulder as he relaxed.
Doc complimented me, making sure the compounds staff knew that I was more capable than half of these people. Telling them that I had been Dauntless. Though most wouldn't understand exactly what that meant. You could watch us for years and never really understand what we were about. That made me proud. That made me proud to be Dauntless.
When I finally reached the ballroom, I was happy to finally feel like I could relax. It had been a far more eventful day than I had thought it would be. Stepping inside, Eric was sitting on his bed with the tablet in hand. Hearing the door, he looked up, a grin crossing his face and he quickly got up, jogging toward me. Doing the same, I threw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly as he spun me.
"You should have come, baby." He told me excitedly. "It was amazing."
"Tell me all about it." I smiled up at him.
Going back to the bed, I sat across from him, listening intently as he told me how small everything looked and yet seemed so big. He told me how our city covered two hundred twenty-seven square miles. He described the scorched buildings that had been a result of the Purity War. He was so excited. I don't think I'd ever seen him so excited about something. It was something new and different. I was happy for him. I'd never go with him, but I was happy he had gone.
"How was your day?" He asked after he'd finished. "I feel like I've been talking too much."
"I like when you talk." I told him, rubbing his arm as I held his hand in the other.
"I don't think I've ever heard him talk so much." Four smiled as he came in.
"Hey." I smiled back at him.
He sat behind me, starting to rub my shoulders, neck and back. God it felt good. Rubbing Eric's arm, I bowed my head, shutting my eyes as I started to relax. When he was done, he wrapped his arms around me, pressing close against my back. Putting my free arm over his, I looked at him over my shoulder.
"How you holding up?" I asked him softly.
"I'm not." He said pressing a kiss against my shoulder blades.
"We should grab some dinner." I told him softly.
He sighed, letting me go, "I'm not hungry."
"When was the last time you ate?" Eric asked him.
He didn't reply right away, instead he met Eric's eyes, "Can I talk to you?"
"Of course." Eric told him.
"Tobias." I said gripping his fingers.
He smiled at me, pressing a kiss against my cheek, "Everything is fine, Opie."
Standing up, all my tension returned. "Okay." I smiled at him.
Eric took my head in his hands, his thumbs rubbing my cheeks. Putting my hands over his wrists, I smiled up at him as I ran my thumbs across the top of his hands. He leaned down, kissing me slowly. "We'll be back."
"Be careful." I told him.
"I love you, woman." He smiled.
Grinning, I kissed him again, "I love you too."
He pressed a quick kiss against my forehead before walking away. Four winked at me from over his shoulder, making me smile at him. But as soon as they were gone, it disappeared and I couldn't help but stare at the door. It was only a few minutes longer when it opened and the majority of our group came through.
"You okay?" Christina asked.
"Yeah." I nodded at her.
"You weren't at dinner." Tris added.
"Neither were you for a while." Uriah told her, gently nudging her.
Tris nodded and stepped up to me, looking at the tablet that was on Eric's bed. "Have you read anything?"
"No." I replied. "Eric's been reading it."
"You let him read it without you?" She smirked but it was a serious question.
"He read it without me knowing it. But I'm happy he did. I don't want to read it. To know what their lives here were like. Eric can give me the highlights. Anything else can wait till I see my parents again." She smiled and nodded, but there was clear sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I know there's nothing fair about mine being alive and yours dead."
"No."
"Have you started to read your mother's?" I asked softly. She nodded. "Was it hard?"
She met my eyes, "Very." Nodding, I sighed. Just one more reason why I was okay with not reading mine. "Have you seen Tobias?"
I nodded, "He was here briefly. Then he and Eric left."
"To go where?" She frowned.
"I don't know." I replied, rubbing my arm.
She nodded, going to Christina and Uriah. Sitting on my bed, I reached over and grabbed Eric's pillow, hugging it against my chest. Shutting my eyes, I opened them as the bed shifted. Frowning, I took in the smiling face of my sister.
"I'm tired." I told her.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
"No."
There was a long moment's silence before she sighed, "I guess I should feel lucky. Tris won't say a word to Caleb."
"Why should she?" I frowned at her. "You both are traitors. That doesn't just go away because we're out here." The room was quiet. It was always quiet when one of these moments came around. "Just go, Hazel. Please."
"What's on the tablet?" She asked with a hard tone.
"What?" I frowned at her.
"What's on the tablet?" She repeated. "I've seen Eric reading it and I overheard you talking about it. Mom and Dad are on that tablet, aren't they?"
"It's none of your concern." I shot back at her.
"They're my parents too." She retorted harshly.
"Then you can ask them about it when you see them next."
"Why are you being so selfish?!" She yelled at me.
Standing up, I grabbed the tablet, tossing it to Tris before I left the room. I didn't want it but I sure as hell didn't want her to have it either. Storming down the halls, I went to the atrium, sitting on a bench underneath the tree, staring up into its roots.
"Hey." Ainsley said running into view. "You okay?"
"No." I told her. "Not really."
"What happened?" She asked sitting next to me, setting the same folder from this morning into her lap.
"What's in there?" I smiled at her.
She smiled excitedly, "Something that will definitely cheer you up. But tell me what happened first."
Gripping the edge of the bench, I leaned forward, "Hazel."
Her smile disappeared. "I saw you with her when Jeanine was holding you in Erudite."
"You watched all that?" I asked softly, seeing her nod out of the corner of my eye. Scoffing, I laughed lightly. "I guess that's what I can't wrap my head around most. All these things have happened to me and the people I care about. Things that should never had happened and all the while you people were in here just…watching."
"I know." She replied, gently tugging on the base of my shirt. "It sucks and I get what you're feeling, but what were we supposed to do? We can't jeopardize what we've been working on for all these years."
"You were never part of the experiments, were you?"
"No." She shook her head.
"Then I'm sorry, Ainsley, but you just don't understand."
Staring at the floor, several minutes passed before she scooted a little closer to me. "You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand a lot of things. But I can tell you that I don't agree with everything we're about. I see you, Pen. I see you and Eric and Tobias and Tris. I see Claude and…and I saw Henry. I see so much and yet no one ever sees me."
"Am I supposed to pity you now?" I asked more harshly then I meant to.
"No." She frowned. "No, Pen, I do not want your pity. I'm just trying to relate to the person who got me through for years now."
"Why me, Ainsley? It doesn't make sense."
"Does it have to?" She smirked.
"Kinda." I smirked back. "Especially when you're talking about the lowest moments of my life."
"I wished I could have told you that he was alive." She told me.
"You saw him?" I asked.
She nodded. "He was a complete and total beast when he found out you were still inside. He's right to have the reputation he does."
"Yeah, but he hardly shows that side anymore." I smiled. "I love the more gentle side of him."
"Which brings me to this." She said and handed me the folder.
Opening it, I pulled out a stack of photos. The first one was of me and Eric looking at each other while I was on his back. The next several were of us fooling around in the water. There was one where we were in the water. He was over me, drops of water falling off of us. My hand was against his face smiling as I stared into his eyes. Though he was staring too, his expression one of love and devotion. Staring for a long time, I finally flipped to the next one, then the next, and next. They were of us crying on the rock. I thought we would look grotesque in some way but it was actually quite beautiful. Getting toward the end, there were several more of us dropping the petals into the water. Everything seemed to fit so well.
"Ainsley." I said breathlessly. "They are exquisite."
She smiled, "I'm glad you like them."
"How could I not?" I smiled at her. "I didn't even know you were taking them."
She nodded and gently nudged me, "You two were pretty preoccupied."
Laughing lightly, I nodded, "I really love him."
She stood and started to walk from the room, "Come on."
Putting the pictures back into the folder, I held it tight to me as I followed. "Where are we going?"
"Somewhere where you can let out a bit of energy."
Smiling, she led me to an excellent training room. Even Dauntless would be impressed. There were three soldiers working out, looking like they'd just started since there was a lack of glistening sweat. I couldn't help but take a deep breath of the smell of all the bodies that had been in here. There was something comforting about it.
"Are you going to join me?" I asked her.
She laughed and handed me a gray tank-top and a black sweats, "Hell no."
"Fine." I said quickly changing.
Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I made my way toward one of the punching bags. Grinning, I started to hit it, the feeling empowering. It took all of two minutes for me to fall into my normal routine. I didn't even know they had this room. Otherwise I would have been here long before now. I felt a little out of shape as sweat started to bead far sooner than usual. Pushing myself until my muscles were burning, I stopped, wiping the sweat from my eyes. Turning, I saw that all three men were watching me.
"Can I help you with something?" I frowned at them.
Two just shook their heads, but one motioned toward a door at the back of the room. Frowning, I followed him, walking through a door, stepping onto a mat. The entire floor was a mat, long florescent lights intermittently spaced along the ceiling, the edges of the room in shadow. Smiling, I looked at him. He smirked back, moving to the middle of the room.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked him.
He laughed, relaxing for a moment, "I know who you are, Pen. I've been waiting for this for a long time."
My smile faltered and I felt like every one of my muscles tensed at the same time. He knew who I was and had been waiting for this moment. Just one more reminder of how long these people have been watching us. One more reminder how our lives were never really alone.
Nodding, I held my hand out, bending my fingers for him to bring it. He smiled and then lunged at me. Leaning back, I avoided his fist, slamming my fist into his side. His hand moved to it, laughing lightly as he grinned at me. Rolling my shoulders, I paced in front of him, waiting for him to make the next move. I wanted to see what he would do if I was only defensive. Was he patient? Was he smart? Was he quick? Calculated? Well trained?
Most of my questions were answered in just a matter of minutes. He had come at me again and again, never waiting long enough for me to make a move. Each assumption he made was wrong. I was pain free while he was bruised and bleeding. He was clearly frustrated, circling me as a wolf circles a kill. Deciding to mix it up, I feigned to the left, spun to the right as he moved to block me, dropping to the ground and swiped his feet out from under him. Stepping back just long enough to let him get back onto his feet, I swiftly threw a few consecutive punches, letting him block them before I leaned back as he threw a punch, bringing my knee up and slamming my foot against the center of his chest. He flew backward, his back slamming against the floor.
For a second I thought he was going to stay down. Then he sprung back onto his feet, throwing himself at my center, taking me to the ground. Holding my arms in front of my face, his fists kept hitting my flesh as I blocked each one. When he pulled back to throw another punch, I gripped his head, slamming mine into it. He fell to the side, giving me plenty of time to swing my legs out from under him, getting back onto my feet. He stood and lunged yet again, only I met him half way, launching myself into the air, bending my knees and slamming my fist into his face as I came down, landing lightly on the balls of my feet as he once again slammed into the ground.
Pacing, waiting to see what his next move was, he didn't get up, but started to laugh. "Are you done?" I asked him.
"Yeah." He nodded as he looked up at me. "I'm done."
Nodding, I smiled and offered him my hand. "And?"
He took it, letting me help him to his feet. "And I think we have a lot to learn from each other."
Smiling, I nodded, "I'm sure there is. Though I have to say I had expected more from you soldiers from the outside."
"Maybe alone you could beat us." One of the others told me.
"What about all three of us?" Another said with a smirk.
They both stepped forward, while the third held his hand up. "Guys."
"No." I replied quickly. "It's okay. I haven't had a good fight in weeks."
"And if you get hurt?"
"What are your names?" I asked.
"Heath." The one I'd already fought told me.
"Colin." The second told me.
"Lewis." The third replied.
Nodding, I smiled at them, "Nice to meet you."
"Well?" Lewis asked with a raised brow.
Grinning now, I nodded, "Alright, you're on."
"Hey, Pen, you don't have to do this." Heath told me.
"Are you afraid of a little girl?" I taunted.
He laughed lightly, rubbing the palm of his hand, "I did just get a decent beating from said little girl."
"Do it for me." I smiled at him. "I can handle pain."
In the next second, I was hit across the cheekbone. Looking up at Lewis, he had a frown on his face. They weren't going to be playing around. Getting to my feet, the three of them were circling me, all of them looking suspicious of every move I made. Feeling anger start to fill my system, I took slow steady breaths. A fist launched at my face, quickly blocking it as a kick hit my ribs. Spinning, I blocked another kick as a fist flew toward me. Ducking, I leapt over the leg of another, gripping a wrist, backhanding its owner, before kicked the chest of the next. An elbow hit the center of my back, making me fall to one knee. Crossing my arms, I blocked a kick, the force of it putting me back onto my fit. Spinning my torso, I avoided two more punches before I was once again on my floor. From my hands and knees, I took in the three of them. For a moment I shut my eyes, taking a slow deep breath, listening to their every movement.
Then my eyes shot open and I was on my feet. Lunging toward the nearest one, I punched him hard across the jaw, my elbow flying back into the face of the other. I slammed my hands against the ears of the third, kicking them to their back as they fell to their knees with a yell. Ducking under an arm, giving him a well-placed kidney shot, spinning him, allowing him to take the blow from another, shoving him forward. Then I was met with a fist in my gut, momentarily leaving the ground, the air being forced from my lungs. Slamming my hands at the crook of his arm, it fell away from me. I slammed my head into his, punching him as hard as I could across his cheek, satisfied as he fell to the floor unconscious.
"Then there were two." I smirked at the others.
They looked at each other and then there was a flurry of activity. Hits were being made against all three of us. All of us being forced to our knees at some point. I felt my cheek break open, my lip bleeding freely, my fractured rib making each breath hurt after being hit several times. But after several minutes, I was the only one left standing. There was more than one moment where I thought I was going to lose. But then I'd think of everything we'd been through with them just watching us. I'd think about those who had died and all my energy felt renewed. It gave me enough motivation to not back down and to not let them get the upper hand. And I had once again persevered. Just like I had with everything else in my life.
"Jesus." Heath said from the floor.
"Was it everything you had expected it to be?" I smiled as I once again offered him my hand.
He took it, only instead of getting to his feet; he yanked me down to the ground next to him. Laughing, I looked at him, a smile on his face. He reminded me of Eric. A less attractive, slightly smaller version of Eric. Though these men all kind of looked the same. They all were bulky with closely shaved heads, the same uniforms, and the same responses to pretty much everything. Other than voice, hair color, and skin tone, they all seemed the same to me.
"You're not so bad." He told me.
Furrowing my brows, I met his eyes, "What were you expecting?"
"I was told you were a bit unstable." He replied, not bothering to try and be kind about it.
"I am a bit unstable." I replied with a sigh. "If you've been watching then you can't blame any of us for being a bit unstable."
"No. We can't." He replied sadly.
"I've lost too many people that I care about. Then we get here and it's nothing like we had been expecting."
"I know."
Helping him and the others, we went to the hospital. I went to find Doc, who lectured me on fighting, telling me to knock it off if I didn't want to be tied to a bed until my ribs healed. I told her I'd be good. I already knew what could happen if my ribs were broken and pushed the wrong direction. An experience I never wanted to experience again.
Afterward, I grabbed clean clothes and showered, feeling rejuvenated as I made my way back to our makeshift dormitory. I hadn't expected the day's events but I was actually having a really good day. It was mostly over, but I had a feeling that I might actually sleep well tonight.
"There you are." I smiled at Ainsley as she fell in step next to me. "You left without saying anything."
"Sorry." She smiled. "I don't like fighting."
Nodding, I gently nudged her, "It's nothing to be sorry about."
"I was just going to see you tomorrow but I wanted to be sure you had the pictures." She said handing me the folder. "You'd put them down but I didn't want them forgotten."
"Thank you." I smiled at her. "And I'd never forget them. They've officially become my most prized possessions."
A small blush rose in her cheeks, "And here." She said handing me a small box.
"What is it?"
"Another gift."
Sighing, I nudged her again, "Enough with the gifts."
"It'll probably be the last."
Opening it, there was a camera nestled inside of it. Stopping, I gripped her wrist. "Ainsley."
"You deserve more than what you've been given. This way, I'm hoping you can capture all the happy moments to look back on when something bad happens."
"Thank you." I told her airily. Then I was pulling her to the side of the hall. "Show me how it works."
Showing me how to turn it on and off, she showed me how the zoom worked, how to help it focus while taking the picture. Trying it out on Ainsley, it was way easier than I had thought it would be. We didn't have anything like this back home. Looking at the pictures we'd just taken, there was a really nice one of the pair of us.
"Eric is going to hate me after this." I grinned at her. "I wish Claude and Hen –" I started but stopped. Sighing, I smiled at her, "I wish he were here. It would have been nice to have a picture of him."
"You can do more justice to him with your own hands. You don't need a camera. I just thought it would be nice for you and everyone else. When all this is over you'll be able to have pictures to remember your journey by."
Nodding, I met her eyes, "Thank you, Ainsley. I don't deserve as good an ally as you."
She laughed lightly and smirked at me, "I'd like to consider myself your friend."
Laughing, I nodded again, "Yeah. You're my friend."
"Good." She smiled.
Going back to the dormitory, I opened the door, a grin breaking across my face when I saw someone sitting on Eric's bed. Only then I realized that it wasn't the love of my life. My heart started to race as I slowly stepped forward.
"Georgie." I said softly.
"Tori was the only one who called me that." He replied.
I slowly sat next to him. "I can stop if you want me to."
"No." He said quickly. "It's not that. It's just…weird."
"I cannot begin to express how sorry I am about Tori. She was my family. She took care of me for the past five years. She was…she was everything to me. I loved her very much."
"She wasn't the only one you lost." He stated.
"No." I said shaking my head. "Henry. He was a brother to me and he died to save my life. I refused to leave Tori's side and they had surrounded me. I would have died right there with her if it weren't for Henry. I lost both of them just minutes apart."
"How are you handling the pain?" He asked.
Laughing, I didn't realize I was going to until it was happening. "I'm not." I told him. "I'm not handling the pain. I've just learned to live with it since this whole thing started."
"That can't be true." He frowned at me.
Looking at him, I thought a long moment, "In a way it is." I replied softly. "I have grieved for those I've lost but they will always be with me. The pain will always be there. But there are reasons to be happy. I have Eric. Who I love more than anything. I have Four and Tris. I have made friends along the way and I cherish those friendships. But there are still enemies out there and this whole thing could come crashing down at any moment. Happiness is a luxury we cannot afford."
"Then what are you holding?" He asked.
Gripping the folder of photos and the camera, I couldn't help but smile, "I'm holding onto happiness." I told him.
He nodded, "Fighting against what is and what you want."
Sighing, I nodded, "Yeah. I used to be strong and someone no one messed with. Things have definitely changed."
"No they haven't." Ainsley cut in, making us both look up at her. "I stuck around the workout room long enough to see what you were capable of. You held your own against three of our soldiers. You shouldn't be messed with. Love and compassion and family shouldn't make you feel weak."
"In Dauntless weakness gets you killed. In war weakness gets you killed. I'm not ready to die." I told her.
"No one's dying." Amar's voice said from the door. "Things are getting a little morbid in here. I know none of you fully understand what this place is all about. And other than a plane ride, you haven't seen what we do for fun." He paused, putting a stereo on a bed. "So let's have some fun."
Hitting a button, music started to flow out of it. It was very much like the music from Dauntless. Which made sense since both of them were former Dauntless. It was loud and fast and made every bone in my body want to move with it. It brought me back to the Pit and the endless nights spent drinking and dancing and laughing and just like they had said, having fun.
George stood and held his hand out to me, "You know you want to."
Grinning, I took his hand, letting him yank me to my feet. Despite the pain of what we were just talking about, we were both smiling as we moved to the music. Soon the entire room was on their feet, dancing with everyone as people spun from partner to partner. Even Hazel and Caleb were moving to the music, their bodies locked together. It made me want Eric. But he wasn't here and it was hard to be too lonely for him when I was surrounded by friends. Finding myself grinding with Tris, both of us laughing as the music kept playing; Ainsley appeared with the camera she'd given me. Taking several candid shots, she called for me and Tris to look at her. Smiling, the picture was taken before we could even think about what was happening.
We had the same thought as we looked at each other, thinking of our parents and what this place was. But it only deterred us for a moment, still enjoying the music and the happy moment that this was. They were going to be few and far between and we had to acknowledge them when they happened. And thanks to Ainsley we'd have something to remember them by.
"I like that one." Tris told me as we lay in mine and Eric's cots, looking through all the pictures.
"You're very photogenic." I smiled at her, looking at the picture of her with her arms outstretched and her head resting back on her shoulders. "You look so free."
"An illusion." She smiled.
Laughing lightly, I nodded, flipping to the next one. "Jesus." I said frowning at it.
"What?" Tris asked. "It's a good one."
It was of me and George, my hand in his, my other on his shoulder with his other against my side. Both of us were smiling and enjoying ourselves. It really was a good picture, if it were for my split and discolored skin. A memory of what this war was costing us.
"I look like crap." I told her.
"You're Dauntless. It's expected."
"I thought we weren't Dauntless anymore?" I frowned at her. "That's what you told me."
"I lied." She told me. "We are who we are. Now that our Divergence has been proven to be nothing, I guess we've really been Dauntless all along."
Despite the good day I'd had, Eric and Four hadn't returned yet when the room was going quiet. I wanted to wait up for him, and Tris for Four, but the longer it took the more tired we became. With Tris next to me, I managed to fall asleep, but without Eric, my mind didn't shut off enough for me to sleep soundly.
Laying in Eric's arms, happiness radiated off of both of us. We were back home in our room. The room where we'd fallen in love. We'd never been happier than when we were in that room. Well, there had been many moments since then, but before the attack we had thought the moment would last a lot longer than one night.
Only Eric had known about the attack. So many things had happened between then and now and yet happiness would always be found when I was wrapped in his arms. We'd both done so many right and wrong things in this fight, and yet we still had each other. I wasn't even sure how that was possible. In truth? It wasn't.
Screaming erupted from outside of the room, making us both get up. Moving toward it, we opened the door to find ourselves in the compound outside the city. Running, we searched for our family. Bodies were already lining the halls, making us run faster. Rounding a corner, we were met with a slew of guards. Fighting, we were both taken down, my world going black as I hit from behind.
Opening my eyes, I was strapped to a table back in Erudite. The same chair that I had been injected with serum, over and over and over again. The same room where Jeanine sat and watched me for hours and hours.
"Penelope." Her voice rang from the corner of the room.
Slowly bringing my eyes toward her voice, there the bitch was, standing there as if nothing had ever happened. "Jeanine."
"Are you ready to get back to work?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The last simulation lasted a good long while. We had to knock you out just to bring you out of it. But we learned so much."
"What are you talking about?" I shot at her again.
"You thought you got out of here. You thought there was more out there than our city. But you're wrong."
"No!" I yelled, struggling against the restraints on my wrists and ankles.
"Oh, Penelope." She smirked at me. "All hope is gone."
Then the door burst open and Eric appeared, "I don't think so." He told her before shooting her in the head.
"Eric!" I yelled, beaming at him.
He rushed forward, unhooking me, "It's okay, baby. I've got you."
As soon as I was free, I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. "I love you."
"I love you, baby. Now let's go."
Rushing out of the room, we were running through Erudite headquarters. The light from the street started to flood the lobby as we ran toward them. Outside the doors, all of our friends and family were there, old and new.
We were nearly there, Four smiling at me like he always did when we hadn't seen each other for a while. Even Tris was smiling, bouncing on her feet with anticipation. My family. God I loved my family. Gripping Eric's hand tightly, I ran as fast as I could, only in the next second a gunshot rang and I was pulled backward, slamming to the ground on my side. Looking up, Eric was lying on his stomach, still gripping my hand. Blood was spreading out across his entire back.
"Eric!" I screamed, rushing to his side.
Covering the wound with my hand, his blood was flowing over my fingers. Out of the corner of my eye I see something start to move across the floor. Looking down, there was a trail of blood moving away from him, looking at his face, the blood was coming from his mouth. His eyes were partially closed and he wasn't moving.
Rolling him over, I put my fingers against his neck, feeling nothing pulsing against them. Breathing into him, I compressed his chest, giving him two more breaths before repeating the process over and over again. I tasted his blood, the crimson liquid pooling in his mouth. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I felt his blood smearing across my skin, tasting it on my mouth.
"Penelope."
Looking up David was standing there, a kind smile on his face.
"We're here to help you."
"No you're not." I frowned at him.
My hand had been on Eric's chest only now I fell forward, my hand landing in his blood as his body disappeared. Shaking, I looked around, "Eric!"
"Something's gonna happen." I heard his voice tell me.
Spinning, I saw him standing between me and the doors. "Eric."
"Something always happens, Pen." He told me sadly.
"Eric, please." I said rushing to him, taking his head in my hands. "Please don't leave me."
"I will never leave you." He frowned at him.
"I need you, Eric. More than anything."
Staring at me, tears filled his eyes, blood still covering him. He gently took my face in his hands, kissing me slow and deep. "And I need you. I love you more than anything. I don't think I can express how much I love you."
"Then don't leave me." I cried.
"Come with me." He told me with a melting half smile.
Suddenly there was a gun in my hand. Feeling the weight of it without breaking eye contact with him. In the next moment he was falling to the ground. Falling with him, landing on his chest, I stared into his lifeless eyes. Screaming as loud as possible, I put the gun to my head, squeezing the trigger…
"Pen. Pen, it's okay."
Flying up, I jerked away from the touch on my shoulder. Tris was looking at me with a worried expression. "I'm fine."
She gently brushed the hair out of my eyes, clinging to the sweat that was dripping down my face and neck. "No, you're not."
"She okay?" Hazel's voice drifted over to us.
"She's fine." Tris shot across the room.
Then Christina's voice. "Tris?"
"Go back to sleep. Everything is okay." Tris replied kindly.
Sitting there, sweat was still dripping down my skin. Why did he always have to die? I had never had so many nightmares in my life and I always had them when he wasn't around. Running my fingers through my hair, I brought my knees up against my chest, wrapping my arm around them. Putting the elbow on the other on top of them, I rested my forehead against my palm. Starting to gently rock myself, I felt Tris shift closer to me, her hand running down my hair.
"Lay back down. Try and get some more sleep."
"I can't." I said shaking my head. "I'll wait for Eric to get back."
"Pen." She said sadly, still running her hand down my hair.
Feeling tears brimming, I tried to hold them back but they fell anyway. "He always dies, Tris. Every time."
"In your nightmares?" She replied softly.
I nodded, taking a shuddering breath. "I can't take it anymore."
"How often?" She asked.
"Not very." I replied. "Only when he's gone and things are happening."
"He'll be back soon." She told me matter-of-factly. "Tobias as well."
Staring at the door, I tried to will them to come through it. "Where are they, Tris?"
"I don't know." She replied softly.
Laying back down to make Tris happy, I stared at the door, waiting for her to fall back asleep. As soon as her deep breathing started, I sat up, crossing my legs as I faced the door. My eyes felt heavy and I was exhausted, but I didn't want to shut my eyes again until he was back.
When I finally heard steps, I sat there, wrapping my arms around my knees as I continued to stare at the door. Rocking, I waited for the door to open. It seemed to take an enormous amount of time before it finally did. Even in the dark, I knew it was him and Four. They slowly walked forward, talking in low voices. They stopped and faced each other, still talking. They were talking too low for me to be able to understand what they were saying, but their tone sounded serious.
When Four turned toward his bed, realizing Tris wasn't there, they both turned toward me, both seeing me sitting there. Four stepped up to Eric's cot, looking down at a sleeping Tris.
"Hey, Opie." He said putting his hand on the back of my head, pressing a kiss against my forehead.
"Hey." I smiled, putting my hand against his neck. "You okay?"
"Yeah." He nodded, pressing another kiss before gently lifting Tris into his arms, carrying her to her own cot.
Eric took off his jacket, and then his shirt, changing into a pair of sweats. Laying down, he put his hand against my back. "You okay?"
Sighing, I rolled, putting my knee next to his side as I laid on top of him. Gently running my fingers through his hair, I avoided his eyes. "I had a nightmare." I told him.
"The usual?" He asked.
Nodding, I couldn't help the tears that brimmed. "They're always the same." I told him sadly.
"I'm here, baby." He said gently playing with my hair. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
"You don't know that." I told him.
"No." He replied gently. "But you know I would never risk myself."
"I do know that." I told him. "Are you gonna tell me where you two were?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I am. But we'll talk about it in the morning. You need to get some sleep."
Leaning down, I kissed him softly. His hand moved to the back of my head and he deepened the kiss, keeping it slow, letting the feeling wash over me. "I love you."
"I love you." He replied.
"Can I stay right here?" I asked as I trailed my fingers back and forth across his chest.
He smiled and kissed me again. "I wouldn't want you anywhere else."
Kissing him once more, I rested my head against his chest, resting my arms against his sides, gently moving my thumbs back and forth against his skin. His heartbeat was loud in my ear, the sound of air moving in and out of his lungs. My nightmare surfaced for just a moment before the feeling of his fingers moving up and down my back relaxed me, letting me find sleep.