Hello everyone!
Ouf! It's been a while! I'm trying to write as much as I can but I still have to go to school and I don't want to rush the story
I had a hard time figuring out how to proceed on this chapter. I hope you like it!
Chapter 3: Heart to heart conversations
The next morning, they drove in comfortable silence to Mason industries, simply enjoying each other's company. No words needed to be said for the moment. They both knew they needed some time to think about the whirlwind of events that had happened within 48 hours. Still, even though they weren't talking, Wyatt's right hand fingers were intertwined with Lucy's between the two seats, a reminder that he was there for her if she needed anything.
It took a while to drive back to San Francisco. Two nights before, Wyatt had drove them to a town almost 3 hours away from the city. So, it gave Lucy a lot of time to think; to think about her mother, Wyatt, Amy, everything. She was torn between wanting to yell in anger at her mother's betrayal or jump in joy at the thought of being with Wyatt.
The night before Wyatt had kissed her, really kissed her, several times, until it was dark outside. And then they had gone to bed. And he had taken her in his arms, bringing her close to him and protecting her from the real world. And boy did it feel good to be held like that by Wyatt.
In the real timeline, Lucy had always been too busy with her sick mother and trying to get tenure to even think about having a relationship. So to learn about Noah had been a shock and kind of a disappointment, even though she had never admitted it to anyone. She had been sad to learn that another Lucy had succeeded at having something she didn't even know she wanted in the first place; someone to rely on, someone to love her.
Yes, she had Amy, her poor sister erased from history, but it wasn't like having a boyfriend. She was Amy's big sister. She was the protector, the one who comforted Amy when she cried over a boy and who gave her wistful advice on how to make a good impression in an interview. She was the one who took care of all the hard decisions for her mother, singing papers and talking with doctors. She was doing it all on her own to protect Amy. She knew her sister loved her very much, but she had never realized until meeting Noah that what she lacked was someone to take care of her and protect her too.
She was independent, had always been, but even the strongest ones needed someone to rely on. Noah had made her open her eyes. She had realized that she wanted someone to love her like he seemed to love another version of herself. She knew she could never have something with him though. He was in love with a version of herself she could never be and she knew that, but she had still kept his hopes alive for long for her own selfish reasons. She didn't even know the guy's last name, but it was comforting to know that someone cared for her in a way no one had ever done. So she had sucked it up and invited him for diner, trying to get to know, trying to like him even, but nothing worked.
It was when she started developing feelings for Wyatt that she realized she couldn't keep the masquerade on forever. What she was doing to Noah wasn't fair. To make him believe he had a chance of getting back the Lucy he loved wasn't fair. If he felt for her half the way she felt for Wyatt, she was well placed to know she wouldn't want Wyatt to pretend that he cared. She had no right to do that to Noah. So she broke things off with him, offering him only a lame explanation as to why she was breaking their engagement in an abandoned building just after he had tended to one of her friends who had been shot, while she had watched him nervously, impatient to get away, all that while being dressed like Jackie Kennedy.
Noah thought she was breaking things off with him because of Wyatt and he was partially right. She was falling for Wyatt, hard. But when she broke up with him she never thought Wyatt would ever feel the same way. Oh how glad she was to learn that her feelings were mutual. It was something she never thought would be possible. There was still some sort of cloud in her mind, a dark shadow telling her that it was impossible, that she wouldn't be enough for Wyatt, but she was doing her best to keep it shut for the moment. All she wanted was to appreciate Wyatt's presence until she needed to take care of far less pleasant business.
Far less pleasant business that was becoming closer by the minute as Wyatt's car sped on the highway.
She didn't know what she had been expecting, but it was definitely not what she felt when she entered Mason industries. As soon as the doors of the building closed behind her, she felt her breath quicken and her heart accelerate. It was like she was trapped in that damn drowning car yet again. The water was flooding way too fast, the car was shutting down, she couldn't open the door nor the window, she was trapped…
"Lucy!" she heard someone call her name in the distance but she couldn't focus on the voice. All she could think about was the cold water and the dark of the river. The car was filling way too fast with water, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think!
"Lucy! Look at me!" the voice was now almost yelling at her, firmly yet gently. She tried to listen to it, to focus on something but it was hard, she couldn't breathe!
One hand forcefully took her chin and she was forced to look into blue eyes… Blue eyes she recognized. Wyatt. She wasn't in the car, she was with Wyatt. She was okay, she was safe. She repeated those words in her head over and over again, trying to slow down her breathing. She could feel Wyatt's hands rubbing soft circles on both her shoulders and as she calmed down. She could hear him giving her directions to inhale and exhale slowly, directions she had been following without even realizing it.
"I'm okay… I'm sorry," she managed to choke out after a couple of shaky breaths.
"It's alright, don't be sorry Lucy, you have the right to feel a little disturbed by what you're about to do," Wyatt assured her softly, taking Lucy in his arms and placing a kiss on the crown of her head.
She responded by hugging him tightly and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.
"It just hit me, what I am about to do, helping arrest my mother. It felt like I was trapped, like I had no control on what is happening," she whispered with still a hint of shakiness in her voice.
"The drowning car," Wyatt said understanding Lucy's panic attack, "We can stand back any time you want Lucy, don't forget. You're here on your own terms, no one will force you to stay if you're too uncomfortable okay?" Wyatt declared, breaking their hug to look directly into Lucy's eyes.
"I know… I want to do this, but it still hurt… Thank you for being there though," she replied.
"Always Lucy," he answered before giving her a quick peck on the lips, a small reminder that he wasn't going anywhere.
"Hi Lucy, how are you this morning?" agent Christopher asked as she joined Lucy and Wyatt in the launch area where the lifeboat was being guarded by four agents rounding it regularly, a new addition to the team, probably made after learning about the disappearance of the mothership.
"I'm okay… I just wish it wasn't real, but it is," Lucy answered with a shrug of the shoulders while Wyatt laced their fingers together, to give her some support.
Rufus, who had been watching them from his desk, simply raised his eyebrows at the motion but kept his mouth shut. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later anyway. No need to bother them for the moment, but boy would he tease Wyatt when the time would be right.
"We really appreciate your help Lucy, but don't forget that you are free to leave whenever you want okay?" Agent Christopher pointed out and Wyatt was glad that everyone seemed to take Lucy's interests in consideration.
"Okay," she agreed and they both followed agent Christopher down the hall, saluting Rufus with a small nod of the head on their way.
She guided them to one of the conference room they had been in so many times before, debriefing Denise about yet another mission and as to why Garcia Flynn hadn't been stopped. This time though, Lucy knew she was there for a complete different reason. The conversation she was about to have might be one of the most difficult in her life. It was no longer time to talk about Bonnie and Clyde or president Nixon. As important as it had been, it was nothing compared to talking about her mother's implication in one of the cruelest organization of America's history,
"I have a few questions I want to ask you Lucy, about what you did the night you learned about your mother and about your childhood in general. It could help us get an idea on how deep your mother was involved and how many people there is still out there. Rufus is currently working on some of Ethan files. We had missed a whole bunch of information when we did the first arrests. Rufus found more evidence, some of it incriminating your mother and several other members," she explained softly.
Lucy let herself drop on a chair at Denise's words. Evidence incriminating her mother… Until then, there had still been a tiny bit of her who clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, her mother wasn't really involved in Rittenhouse. Maybe she had been threatened by them to convince Lucy of working with them, but if there was some incriminating evidence, it could only mean that her mother had occupied a very active position in the organization, fully knowing what she was a part of.
"Oh…" was the only answer she could manage to formulate.
"Lucy, I am really sorry about your mother, really," Denise reassured her and Lucy simply gave her a tight unconvincing smile.
"It's okay, it's not anyone's fault," she sighed, forcing herself to keep a neutral expression. Now was not the time for feelings and resentment, it was time to help put an end to Rittenhouse for real this time.
"Alright, are you ready to start answering my questions?" Denise asked and Lucy stiffened.
Wyatt must have sensed it though because he put his hand on her knee in reassurance and she immediately relax. It felt good to know she wasn't alone in this.
"Yes I am," she answered with more confidence than before.
"Let's go then,"
She was emotionally drained. Agent Christopher's questions had been hard to answer to. Not only did she feel like she was betraying her mother by giving all sorts of details regarding her personal life, but she was also feeling like she didn't even know who her mother was. When Denise asked about her mother's friends, she realized that her mother always talked about two of her friends she had never met, Louise and Anne. Were they Rittenhouse too? Was it why she had never had the chance to meet them? Her mother kept meeting with them, but Lucy never really knew why. She didn't even know where her mother had met them! Then she was asked about her mother's job… A job Lucy realized was the perfect cover to play Rittenhouse's puppet. Hiding behind a cover of a university career, knowing everything there was to be known about history, a history probably fashioned by Rittenhouse in ways she couldn't even imagine. Its only faults, memorized by heart, about to be corrected by a time traveling machine thief. Her mother had traveled the whole country, giving conferences in every history faculty of the Ivy league, but probably also meeting more members of the Rittenhouse association than she could imagine. Where was the line to cross? Where was the mother she knew? Had she even loved her?
'Hey? Are you sure you're okay?" Wyatt asked as he jarred Lucy out from her thoughts. He was walking towards her with a warm cup of tea in his hands, coming to join her in the empty conference room where she had been staring aimlessly at the wall ever since the interrogation had finished. Wyatt had left during her conversation with agent Christopher when he had been asked too, as Denise wanted to ask personal questions to Lucy.
She shrugged, "I don't know… I want to be okay, but it really hurts to think about all this. I don't know to which memories I can hold on anymore. I just need time to process I guess,"
"It'll get better," Wyatt promised.
"I hope so…" she sighed, taking the cup of tea Wyatt had brought her and bringing the hot liquid to her lips.
"Lucy I mean everything. I am not going anywhere. You'll never be alone. I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I know about losing someone you love. Your mother might not be dead, but I know that you feel just like you lost her. And I also know you love your mother very much. Try to remember the good things instead of dwelling on the regrets. It's the best way to get better," Wyatt said softly.
Lucy put down her tea on the table, looking up at Wyatt, "What hurts the most is that I don't even know if my mother ever loved me,"
"I'm sure your mother loved you Lucy. She might have made bad choices, but I still think that she did it all thinking it was the best for you," he reassured her.
"I want to believe you," she said simply as an answer.
"Lucy, agent Christopher asked me to tell you that she is going to arrest your mother and around fifty other people by the end of the day," he announced grimly.
Lucy froze, "Today?"
"Yes, she wanted to know if you would like to see her before she's taken into custody? She could arrange something for you to meet her here," he explained, sitting in a chair next to her and taking her free hand in his.
She hesitated briefly, "I… hum… yes, I need to talk to her," Lucy answered. She didn't know what she wanted to say to her mother yet. There was just so many things, but she knew she had to talk to her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she never took the opportunity. It might be the last time she could talk to her.
"Do you want me to be there?" Wyatt asked gently.
"No… It is something I need to do by myself,"
"So you had them arrest me and now you want to talk to me?" her mother asked bitterly and Lucy flinched.
"I didn't have them arrest you. I didn't ask for any of this! You put yourself in that position!" Lucy replied aggressively.
Her mother shook her head, "You don't understand Lucy, you've always been too naïve. You come from one of the most powerful families of all time, you were engaged to the son of another wealthy and influent family and you all throw it away? For what? I was about to get you tenure, you would have gotten married to Noah, have a son to pursue our families' legacy! What happened to you Lucy?" her mother asked as if Lucy was the problem in all of this.
But Lucy didn't answer. Noah? Noah was Rittenhouse too? That was why her mother was so smitten with him? Because she thought she could be a good mother to one of Rittenhouse's descendant's child?
"Noah?" was all she could say as she felt the floor crumple under her feet yet again. The man had touched her, wanted to kiss her. She had even tried to get to know him and he was Rittenhouse! All that time he probably knew what she was going through but he pursued it!
"Oh please, Lucy! Don't be so surprised! Do you really think I would have approved of anyone else for you? Like that soldier you seem to have grown quite fond of? You deserve the best. Noah is the best for you," she stated.
"Wyatt? You know about Wyatt?" Lucy asked, shocked.
"I know everything Lucy! Rittenhouse isn't some sort of un-organized group! It's powerful and it has been for decades now! It would still be if you had left your nose out of it! You were supposed to kill that Flynn man on the first missions! Not start your very own investigation!" Her mother said raising her voices, noise of metallic chains erupting when she tried to stand up, but failed.
"How can you be so heartless mom? Did you even love me?" Lucy asked the question that floated above her head ever since her mother's confession.
Her mother's eyes softened, "Oh Lucy, you're the most precious thing I ever had. I love you more than anything, always will. You just don't see all the good Rittenhouse has done and will continue to do,"
"Rittenhouse won't do anything more mom, it's over, we arrested them all," Lucy said crossing her arms.
"See, that's what I was talking about honey, you're too naïve. That's why I was always there, helping you make decisions. Rittenhouse won't be stopped. It's just slowed down for a while. We still have the mothership. Our agent will make it all better again. I just wished you could be there to see it," her mother said and Lucy shivered. There was something in her mother's eyes, something making her uncomfortable, like what was about to happen was bad, really bad, and for her in particular.