Chapter Twenty: To Know Your Enemy
The night seemed to last forever. It was one long moment of pure bliss. If it had lasted forever I wouldn't have complained, and neither would Eric. It had been a long time since we had gone so long and so hard, trying new things as we re-memorized each other's bodies. I thought I knew everything about him, but even now there were things to learn. Something I would never get sick of doing.
"Hey. Wake up."
Vaguely registering the voice, I nestled closer to Eric's side.
"Opie."
Opie.
Four.
My eyes shot open and I scrambled to find a piece of clothing large enough to cover me. "Eric."
He stirred, stretching, starting a little at the sight of Four before he offered him a shit grin. "Morning, brother."
"Eric." I repeated. He rolled over, propping himself up on his elbow. "Eric." I frowned, throwing my shirt over his waist to cover him up while I pressed against his back. "What can we do for you?" I asked Four.
He tried to keep a straight face but then he grinned, holding up my underwear with one finger. "I found these nearly halfway across the room."
"Eric." I said starting to slap the back of his shoulder.
He chuckled, leaning forward and took my panties from our brother's finger. "I guess she wants those back."
Both laughed while I felt like my face was going to melt from blushing so hard. "Tobias." I glared at him.
"I just came here for a bit of an escape. I guess you guys did too." He replied.
Eric nodded at him, "We did. Good thing you didn't want to escape last night. Otherwise you'd have seen far more than you wanted to."
Four shook his head. "You two never disappoint."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned at him, wrapping my arm around Eric's chest. If he was going to see any of me it was going to be my ass.
He just smiled at me, "Nothing negative. I only mean that you two are always yourselves. I never have to wonder what you're thinking. No matter what happens you both still revolve around each other."
At first I smiled at the compliment, but then a somber expression crossed his face. "Tobias?" I said gently.
"It's nothing." He replied.
"She might be mad at you but she'll come around." Eric told him. "You two are more like us then you think. Just in different ways. But it's there."
"I don't even know where we stand." Four replied.
"You stand together." Eric stated. "No matter what happens you both will stand together."
There was a moment's pause before I broke it. "I'd love to have this conversation, but can we do it with clothes on please?"
Eric took my hand in his, pressing a kiss against the palm of it, "I like you better naked."
Grinning, I pressed a long kiss against the tattoo on his back. "Me too, baby. But not while our brother is watching us." He smiled and my heart started to race. "What are you doing?"
"Getting dressed." He stated as he got to his feet.
For the briefest of moments, Four and I looked at each other, then I was yelling, "Turn around!" He quickly averted his eyes. "Not nice." I said slapping Eric's still bare ass.
He frowned but laughed at me, "None of that or you'll end up on the floor again."
"Jesus." I scowled as I scrambled for my clothes while he laughed at me.
When my clothes were all on, I looked to Eric who was taking his sweet time, letting me ogle his muscles as he put his shirt back on. Sighing, I stepped up to him, bringing my hands to his sides as I leaned into him.
"You're horrible."
He gently took my face in his hands, "And you love it."
"I do. But that's because I love you."
Smiling, he kissed me slowly, deepening it as his arm moved around me. "Good. Because you're never getting rid of me."
"Good."
"Good."
"I love you."
"I love you more." He said and was kissing me again.
"I take it we're not talking about me anymore?" Four's voice interrupted.
We both stopped mid-kiss and looked at him. "Sorry." I told him, stepping up to him. "Now that I'm fully clothed you have my undivided attention. What have you two talked about?"
"Nothing much." He replied softly.
"Then why are you so upset?"
"I have no idea where we stand. I don't even know if we're still together." He told me. Grinning, I brought my hand to his face. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"
"Because it would seem like our roles are somewhat reversed."
He just looked at me a moment before frowning. "We are not nearly as back and forth as you two were."
"No." I replied. "But now you have a little bit of an idea what we went through."
He sighed and pulled me against him. "Yeah. Sorry."
"Don't be. It feels like that was forever ago." I told him. "I'm just saying that I know what you might be feeling and I am here for you."
"You and Tris have been closer than ever lately. Playing both sides doesn't always go well." He replied.
Sighing, I let him go, "It's not playing both sides. It's called supporting my family. And Tris and I see eye to eye on more than me and you right now. But when it comes to your happiness I only have you in mind. Okay?"
"And not Tris's?" He frowned.
"Hers too." I replied. "You two will be fine. Things are just so screwed up right now, but you will be fine."
"She really does care about you, you know." He told me.
"I know." I smiled. "And I care about her. I think I love her."
He laughed and pulled me against him again. "She loves you too."
"Yeah, yeah, lots of love." Eric said and pulled me away from Four, slamming my back against his chest as his arms wrapped around me.
Four laughed and shook his head at us, "Always jealous."
"I can't help it." Eric replied as he put his chin on my shoulder.
Smiling, I brought my hand to the back of his head, pressing a kiss against his temple. "I don't mind."
"That's because you get just as jealous." Four stated.
"Like he said." I smiled. "I can't help it."
We all laughed, only then there were steps and Cara came running into the room. "There you are. It is frighteningly easy to lose people in this place."
"What is it?" Four asked her.
"Well—are you all right, Four?" She asked seeing his expression.
I watched him bite down on his lip. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I stepped in front of him. "Everything's fine, Cara. What can we do for you?"
"We're having a meeting." She told me before her eyes were on Four. "And your presence is required."
"Who is 'we,' exactly?" Four asked.
"GDs and GD sympathizers who don't want to let the Bureau get away with certain things." She replied, cocking her head to the side. "But better planners than the last ones you fell in with."
We all looked at each other before Four looked at her, "You know about the attack simulation?"
"Better still, I recognized the simulation serum in the microscope when Tris showed it to me." She replied. "Yes, I know."
We all exchanged another look before Four shook his head. "Well, I'm not getting involved in this again."
"And neither are we." Eric told her, putting a protective arm around me.
"Don't be a fool." She told us. "The truth you heard is still true. These people are still responsible for the deaths of most of the Abnegation and the mental enslavement of the Dauntless and the utter destruction of our way of life, and something has to be done about them."
Eric put his lips into my hair, sighing heavily. Looking at Four, even he knows that she's right. Only this would mean he'd have to face Tris and something told me that he wasn't ready for that. But something did have to be done.
Cara took Four's hand and attempted to lead him from the room, only I swiftly stepped up to them, taking his hand from hers and holding it tightly in mine. She gave me a look but didn't say anything. Raising a brow at Four, he nodded as he wrapped his arm around me, pressing a kiss into my hair.
As soon as we're out in the hall, I let his hand go, moving to Eric's side. Slipping my hand into his, he laced our fingers, holding it tightly as we continued to follow her. She kept glancing at us, making sure we were following her. Four fell in step with her, leaving Eric and me just a few paces behind them.
"It's still strange not to see you in blue." Four told her.
"It's time to let all that go, I think." She replied.
"And seeing you in the same colors as your hair." Eric told me softly.
"I liked it." I smiled up at him. "Skirts and sandals."
"No." He replied and spun me in front of him, his lips against my neck as he forced me to walk backward.
Laughing, I stopped as we felt both their eyes on us. I just shrugged at Four. He was the one who was just complimenting us on not changing.
"Even if I could go back, I wouldn't want to, at this point." Cara went on.
"You don't miss the factions?"
"I do, actually." She replied and looked at him. "I thrived in Erudite. So many people devoted to discovery and innovation – it was lovely. But now that I know how large the world is…well. I suppose I have grown too large for my faction, as a consequence." She frowned. "I'm sorry, was that arrogant?"
"Who cares?" Eric retorted from behind her.
"Some people do." She replied, looking at him. "It's nice to know you aren't one of them. That none of you are."
"Same." I smiled at her. "And I miss the factions too."
"You do?" Eric asked looking down at me.
I nodded, "Yeah, I do. I liked the structure and knowing what I was doing every day. I liked my jobs."
"Yeah, but we weren't as together then as we are now." He frowned.
"We would have been eventually."
"You'd still be hunted."
"And you would have saved me." I smiled.
He smirked, scoffed, and pulled me tighter against his side.
As we walked, we passed several people, and I couldn't help but notice that some were frowning or glaring at Four. Some going as far as moving further away from him to avoid him. Running my hand down his back, I felt the need to comfort him as best I could, knowing that he would be taking it to heart. He had betrayed everyone. But he would make it right. I didn't want to say it but I couldn't help but think how it seemed like Eric's and his roles had been reversed. At the beginning of all this, it was Eric who was the traitor who had to make it right. Now it was Four. I hated that this was happening to him, but at the same time, it would almost be nice for him to see what he put us through.
Almost.
"It's okay." I whispered to him. "They don't matter."
"She's right." Cara added. "Ignore them. They don't know what it is to make a difficult decision."
"You wouldn't have done it, I bet." Four stated as he took my hand. Eric let me go, letting me move to Four's side, hugging his arm to my chest.
"That is only because I have been taught to be cautious when I don't know all the information, and you have been taught that risks can produce great rewards." Care replied. "Or, in this case, no rewards."
We stopped at the door to the lads that Matthew and his supervisor used. She looked at us all before knocking. It took only a few seconds for the door to open, seeing Matthew take a bite out of an apple. Taking a deep breath, my hand once again found Eric's as we followed her into the room.
"Pen." Tris said making me meet her eyes.
"Hey." I said swiftly moving to her, hugging her briefly, before Christina who was standing next to her.
"What are you doing with him?" Christina asked as she looked at Four with a disgusted expression.
"He's my brother, Christina." I told her. She sighed but nodded. Then my eyes were on the others in the room. "Looking good, Caleb." I grinned at her brother, getting a sigh and frown from Hazel. I just smiled and shrugged, enjoying Caleb's heavily bruised face.
"You look good, Pen." Christina stated.
I couldn't help but grin at her, "Thank you. I feel good." Looking at Eric and Four, Four is practically staring at Tris and she isn't giving him the time of day. "What happened, Tris?" I asked her.
"We had a fight." She replied.
Sighing, I nodded, knowing it was more than that. But now wasn't the time to talk about it.
"I think that's everyone." Matthew stated. "Okay…so…um. Tris, I suck at this."
"You do, actually." She told him with a grin. My eyes shifted to Four and I can see the jealousy flare in his eyes. Eric must have as well since he leaned over and whispered something into his ear. "So, we know that these people are responsible for the attack on Abnegation, and that they can't be trusted to safeguard our city any longer. We know that we want to do something about it, and that the previous attempt to do something was…" She paused, her eyes drifting to Four's. A chill ran through me as I watched them. "Ill-advised." She finished. "We can do better."
"What do you propose?" Cara asked.
"All I know right now is that I want to expose them for what they are." Tris replied. "The entire compound can't possibly know what their leaders have done, and I think we should show them. Maybe then they'll elect new leaders, ones who won't treat the people inside the experiments as expendable. I thought, maybe a widespread truth serum 'infection,' so to speak –"
"Tris. What?" I interrupted. I remembered the weight of the truth serum. It wasn't a good feeling.
"Won't work." Four told her. "They're GPs, remember? GPs can resist truth serum."
"That's not necessarily true." Matthew stated, pinching the string that was around his neck, twisting it. "We don't see that many Divergent resisting truth serum. Just Tris, in recent memory. The capacity for serum resistance seems to be higher in some people than others – take yourself, for example, Tobias. Or Pen. She's purer than Tris and even she hasn't shown the ability to affectively resist truth serum." Matthew shrugged. "Still, this is why I invited you, Caleb. You've worked on the serums before. You might know them as well as I do. Maybe we can develop a truth serum that is more difficult to resist."
"I don't want to do that kind of work anymore." Caleb replied. For a moment I actually wanted to smile at him. Baby steps.
"Oh, shut –" Tris started, but Matthew interrupted her.
"Please, Caleb?" He said with a gentle tone.
Caleb and Tris exchanged a look. I don't know what they're telling each other, but neither of them look happy. Though Tris seemed to win as Caleb sunk back against the countertop edge, resting the back of his head to the metal cabinets.
"Fine." Caleb finally said. "As long as you promise not to use this against me, Beatrice."
"Why would I?" Tris asked.
"I can help." Cara said, lifting a hand. "I've worked on serums too, as an Erudite."
"Great." Matthew clapped his hands together. "Meanwhile, Tris will be playing the spy."
"What about me?" Christina asked.
"I was hoping you and Tobias and Eric could get in with Reggie." Tris told her. "David wouldn't tell me about the backup security measures in the Weapons Lab, but Nita can't have been the only one who knew about them."
"You want me to get in with the guy who set off the explosives that put Uriah in a coma?" Christina frowned at her.
"You don't have be friends, you just need to talk to him about what he knows. Tobias can help you."
"I don't need Four; I can do it myself." Christina stated.
She shifted on the exam table she was sitting on, tearing the paper beneath her with her thigh, and shot four a glare. Four had a part to play in what happened. Uriah mattered to her and she blamed Four for what happened. I understood that and even on a small level agreed with her. Eric had nearly died. I had been hurt. I got it. But we were still family and we needed to stick together.
"You do need me, actually, because he already trusts me." Tobias told her. "And those people are very secretive, which means this will require subtlety."
"I can be subtle." Christina shot back at him.
"No, you can't."
"He's got a point…" Tris sang with a smile.
Christina smacked her arm, and Tris smacked her back. Smiling, I shook my head at them. It was nice to see her having a happy moment.
"You never mentioned Pen." Eric frowned, interrupting the moment.
"Right." Matthew said and looked at Tris.
My eyes moved to her as well, waiting to hear my role in all this. "I want you with me. But if it doesn't work then you'll be with Eric."
"Shouldn't she be with me anyway?" He frowned. "Four is better than three. We can pair up and be more effective."
"Eric, I know you don't like doing things separately, but she's the only other one of us who is a GP. David will be more likely to trust her."
"It's okay, baby." I smiled at him. "I'll be fine."
"I know. That's not the issue." He frowned at me.
"Aww, he has separation anxiety." Christina grinned at him.
I laughed harder than I should have, getting a glare from my overly protective boyfriend. Fiancé. I had to remember that technically we were engaged. And after last night I was all for throwing the word around. Claiming my man.
"It's not funny." He frowned.
"I'm sorry." I said and moved to him. "But Tris is alone in her part so if I can help I'm going to." He sighed, putting his hands on my arms. "Listen, baby." I said softly. "I won't do anything reckless and I know that you'll be careful. You'll be with Four so I know you'll be protected."
"And you'll be the one who's protecting Tris. How is that keeping you safe?"
"Hey, I can protect myself." Tris told him.
Eric shot her a look. "I want you with me."
"I'm always with you." I smiled. "And Tris will protect me." He sighed but nodded.
"It's all settled, then." Matthew said. "I think we should meet again after Tris has been to the council meeting, which is on Friday. Come here at five."
"Council meeting?" I frowned.
"We can talk after." Tris nodded at me.
"Okay." I told her.
"We should talk." Four told her.
Eric and I looked at each other.
"Fine." She replied and the pair walk out into the hallway.
I know I shouldn't but I quietly moved closer to the door, wanting to listen to them. Eric said my name but I put my hand up. He moved behind me, both of us listening. Only everyone else started to leave, making it obvious that we were still inside the room. Sighing, Eric took my hand and pulled me from the room and down the hall. Wrapping my arm around him, I turned against his side as we walked. Looking up at him, he kissed me sweetly.
"I love you, Eric." I told him softly.
Gently shoving me against the wall, his lips found mine in a passionate kiss. Putting my hands on his neck, I trailed my thumbs back and forth across his jawline. My tongue slipped into his mouth, taking in his taste as he did the same. Running my hands how his chest, I wrapped my arms around him, hugging his shoulder blades as I pulled him flush against me. Keeping my grip against him, I met his eyes, staring into the blueness of them.
"I love you more than anything." I told him.
"I was going to say the same thing to you." He smiled, keeping my eyes as he kissed me again.
"Should we go back to the atrium?" I smiled.
He smiled, pressing harder against me, his lips finding my neck. Breathing hard, I slipped my hand under his shirt, pressing my lips against his shoulder, gently biting him through his shirt. In the next moment a throat cleared and we stopped. Eric pressed a kiss against my forehead before he leaned away from me. Keeping an arm around him, I smiled at Tris who had a shit grin on her face.
"I have to catch you up on a few things." She told me.
Nodding, I looked up at Eric, kissing him deeply before taking his hand in mine. He briefly played with my fingers, offering me as reassuring smile as he could muster.
"Guess our fun time is over." He said softly.
Putting my hand under his shirt, I rubbed his side, running my nails as I wrapped my arm around him, feeling him shudder. "We'll have fun again. As soon as we possibly can." I smiled up at him.
Smiling, his hand found my face, his touch making me never want to leave him. "I'll be impatiently waiting for it." Laughing lightly, I kissed him again. "Hurry up with her. I want plenty of time for you to fill me in before we make our next move."
"Can you promise me something?" I asked him. He nodded. "Can we at least sleep together tonight? Like actually sleep? Like your arms wrapped around me and mine around you?"
He smiled and kissed me deeply, "Promise."
"Pen." Tris said kindly.
"Yeah." I said kissing him repeatedly as I moved away from him. Sliding my fingers down his arm, we gripped each other's fingers until I was too far away to reach him. "Sorry." I told Tris.
"Hey, I understand." She told me. "Things have been happening. He nearly died. I can completely understand why you wouldn't want to be apart from him right now."
Nodding, I took a deep breath, fighting the urge to turn around. "I am so ready for this whole thing to be over."
"We're working on it." She told me.
"I know." I replied before I noticed the slight redness to her eyes. "How bad was it?" I asked her.
"It was bad enough." She replied.
Stopping, I put my hand on her arm, stopping her with me. "Tris, I'm your friend, your family, you can tell me."
"I know I can." She nodded. "But you're still okay with him right now. I'm not. I need time and I don't want to put you in the middle of it."
"I'm putting me in the middle of it. I am more than capable of being mad at him. I'm mad at him more often then I'd like to admit."
"What do you think about what he did?"
Sighing, I rubbed my palm with my thumb. "He was wrong. He knows he was wrong and he's sorry about the part he had to play."
"People were hurt, Pen. Uriah is probably going to die."
"And Eric did die and the only reason I didn't was because he saved me from the blast." I shot at her. "I could be angry with him and blame him and push him away, but he didn't know the whole story. He followed her blindly. Sound familiar?"
"Don't compare Eric to Tobias." She told me. "They are not the same."
"They're getting pretty close." I replied as I crossed my arms. "We're getting off track here."
"You asked."
"I know. And I'm on your side about it." I replied. "But he's Four. I can't just turn my back on him and you shouldn't either."
"I'm not. I just need a little time to move past it. It's kind of like when Eric killed Maggie."
"I get that." I told her. "I do. But with everything that has been going on I think we need to stick together. All of us. No matter what."
She sighed and nodded. "Me too. But I still need a little time."
"Okay." I told her.
Then she was smirking at me, "Besides, you and Eric are together enough for everyone."
Blushing, I started walking again, "Yeah, well, we've been through enough to have earned it. After Abnegation, Amity, Erudite, and now the Compound…I think we're allowed as much time as we can get."
"I'm not arguing with that." She told me.
"You and Tobias should be embracing it as well."
She sighed and nodded again, "I know."
"So, what did I miss?" I asked her.
"David summoned me into his office yesterday. I am to be a part of their council." She told me. "They want me to train to take a position on the council. Also…" She paused and smiled at me. "We're going to the fringe."
"What?" I frowned.
"My mother came from out there. And Tobias and Eric got their chance to go out there. I say we take ours."
Smiling, I nodded, "Okay."
"That's this afternoon. Let's get some food."
Going to the cafeteria, we sat and ate while Tris filled me in on everything that I'd been missing. Which wasn't a lot. She was David's new favorite. Four and her were at odds. She was easily becoming the leader of our own little Allegiant group on the outside. More power to her. I didn't want to lead anyone. All I wanted was to be with Eric. Everything else was just extra.
"There she is." Amar said as we approached the group. "Plus one."
"It's been decided that two is better than one. To make sure we all stay true to each other and everything." She replied.
He smiled and nodded, "I wasn't going to argue or ask. Hey, Pen."
"Hey." I smiled.
"Here, I'll get you two your vests."
"Vests?" I frowned.
"Bulletproof vest. The fringe is not all that safe." He replied. Reaching into a crate near the doors, he sifted through a stack of thick black vests, finding the right size. When he turned, he held too, smiling as he handed me mine. His smile faltered as he handed Tris hers. "Sorry, not much variety here. This will work just fine. Arms up."
I'm already into mine and I watched as he helped Tris into hers, tightening the straps at her sides. Then he turned to me, giving the same straps a tug to make sure they were tight enough. He smiled and I just smiled back. I was capable.
"I didn't know you would be here." Tris told him.
"Well, what did you think I did at the Bureau? Just wandered around cracking jokes?" He smiled. "They found a good use for my Dauntless expertise. I'm part of the security team. So is George. We usually just handle compound security, but any time anyone wants to go to the fringe, I volunteer."
"Talking about me?" George interjected. I had noticed him standing in the group by the doors but had been too afraid to say anything. "Pen." He smiled and pulled me into his arms.
"Georgie." I grinned, hugging him tightly.
"How are you?" He asked.
I smiled and nodded at him, "I'm good. How are you?"
"I'm good. Better." He replied. Then he looked at Tris. "Hi, Tris. I hope he's not saying anything bad."
He put his arm across Amar's shoulders, and they both grinned at each other. George does look better, but I knew that he was still grieving his sister. Something like that doesn't just go away with a good night's sleep. His smile isn't as big as it was the first time I saw him. The light doesn't reach his eyes. But the way he's looking at Amar, something clicked in my brain and I couldn't help but grin at the man. He furrowed his brows at me when he noticed, gently shoving my shoulder, making me laugh and avert my eyes.
"I was thinking we should give her a gun." Amar told him. "Well, them a gun." He added and glanced at us. "We don't normally give potential future council members weapons, because they have no clue how to use them, but it's pretty clear that you do."
"It's really all right." Tris told him. "I don't need –"
"No, you're probably a better shot than most of them." George stated. "We could use another Dauntless on board with us. Let me go grab a couple more."
Taking a deep breath, I felt a little anxious to be going to the Fringe. Even if we were perfectly capable of protecting ourselves and were being escorted by two of the most capable people from the Compound.
In just a few minutes we're armed and walking with Amar and George to the truck. Amar, Tris and I jumped in the far back. George and a woman named Ann got into the middle, and two older security officers, Jack and Violet, got in the front. The back of the truck is covered with a hard black material. The back doors look opaque and black from the outside, but from the inside they're transparent, so we can see where we're going.
Sitting closest to the door, I thought of Eric. Right about now he'd be lecturing me about being the first by the door, considering how anything could happen. Smiling, I loved his overprotectiveness and also loved fighting him on it. Gotta keep him on his toes.
Amar was behind me, then Tris and stacks of equipment that blocks the view from the front of the truck. George peers over the stacks and grinned at us when the truck starts. I grinned back, starting to feel a little excited about our little trip. Not only that but knowing that it wasn't a life and death mission made it more enjoyable.
We were all quiet as we watched the compound shrink and disappear. We drove through the gardens and outbuildings that surround it, and peeking out from behind the edge of the compound are the airplanes, white and stationary. I was still happy to never have been in one. Maybe I would if it weren't going anywhere. When we reached the gate, it opened for us, hearing Jack talking to the soldier at the outer fence. He was telling him our plans and the contents of the truck, and then we were moving again.
Thinking we were going to be spending the whole trip in silence, Tris finally broke it, "What's the purpose of this patrol? Beyond showing us how things work, I mean."
"We've always kept an eye on the fringe, which is the nearest genetically damaged area outside the compound." Amar told her. I frowned at his words but kept my eyes in the opposite direction of him. "Mostly just research, studying how the genetically damaged behave. But after the attack, David and the council decided we needed more extensive surveillance set up there so we can prevent an attack from happening again."
"Do they know why they were attacked? Do they even care?" I asked him.
"What?" He frowned at me.
"It's fine." Tris smiled at him before shooting me a glare.
Sighing, I kept my mouth shut, watching where we've been, seeing the same ruins we had when we left the city. I forgot how collapsed the buildings were, caving under their own weight, nature taking over, breaking through concrete.
"So you believe it all? All the stuff about genetic damage being the cause of…this?"
Okay, she was more tactful than I was. But all his old friends in the experiment were GDs. I was sure I was thinking the same thing as Tris. Could he really believe that they were damaged, and that there's something wrong with them?
"You don't?" Amar asked. "Or you?" He asked looking at me. "The way I see it, the earth has been around for a long, long time. Longer than we can imagine. And before the Purity War, no one had ever done this, right?" He waves his hand to indicate the world outside.
"I don't know." Tris replied. "I find it hard to believe that they didn't."
"Such a grim view of human nature you have." He stated. Neither of us said anything. "Anyway, if something like that had happened in our history, the Bureau would know about it."
"How do you know?" I frowned at him. "Before the Bureau existed, we have no idea what others have done. Just because it's not documented, doesn't mean nothing like this has been done before. Or they could just be keeping it from you."
"I get you're skeptical about everything, but I've been here long enough to know that they're not lying to us. Or keeping things from us."
"I don't buy it." I replied quietly.
For a while the truck was silent, the jiggling of the equipment and the engine were the only sounds around us. My eyes latched on to every building and new thing we saw, wondering what it had looked like before the war. But the longer we drove the more it all started to look the same. My imagination less engaged with my surroundings, turning inward to what we were doing here, what Eric was doing, what was going to happen next. All of it unknown.
"We're almost at the fringe." George called from the middle of the truck. "We're going to stop here and advance on foot. Everyone take some equipment and set it up – except Amar, who should just look after Tris and Pen. You guys are welcome to get out and have a look, but stay with Amar."
Feeling anxious again, I took a deep breath as the truck started to slow. I was ready for anything, but was hoping that this would be an uneventful experience. If something happened, I'd have to tell Eric about it and all he would do was get pissed and put me on the shortest leash possible. I got that this was serious but I could take care of myself.
When the truck stopped, Amar shoved the doors open. Holding his gun in one hand he motioned to me and Tris with the others. Meeting her eyes, I nodded, turning, and jumped out behind him.
Looking around, there are buildings, but they aren't as conspicuous as the makeshift homes, made of scrap metal and plastic tarps, piled up right next to one another like they are holding one another upright. Hearing laughter, I looked in the narrow aisles between them, seeing children chasing each other. There are few adults and both alike are selling things from trays, or carrying buckets of water, or cooking over open fires. It was sad. I didn't like it.
A young boy nearest to us turned and looked at us. I offered him a smile and a nod, only then he took off running, screaming, "Raid! Raid!"
"Don't worry about that." Amar told us. "They think we're soldiers. Sometimes they raid to transport the kids to orphanages."
"Wouldn't that better their lives? Why would they run scared?" I frowned as I watched others run from us as well.
Tris started to move down the aisles and I quickly followed her, staying close to watch her back. Most of the people have already fled inside their lean-tos with cardboard or more tarp. We can see them between the cracks in the walls, their houses not much more than a pile of food and supplies on one side and sleeping mats on the other. Frowning further, I couldn't help but wonder how they survived winter. Or what they used for a toilet.
"Do you ever help them?" Tris asked, Amar taking up the rear.
"We believe that the best way to help our world is to fix its genetic deficiencies." Amar replied. He was always so sure about his words. I was starting to wonder how many times he'd heard them in order to spew them so easily. "Feeding people is just putting a tiny bandage on a gaping wound. It might stop the bleeding for a while, but ultimately the wound will still be there."
"These are people. Genetically damaged or not, their lives mean something." I shot at him. "Ignoring them and watching them as they deteriorate doesn't help anyone." Looking at Tris, she's shaking her head, clearly as disgusted as I am. "And Four respects this guy?" I frowned at her. "Bullshit."
She was looking at Amar before she turned her head away, and I can see the tears in her eyes. "Let's go back to the truck."
"You all right?" He asked.
"She's fine." I replied for her. Letting him turn back first, I sighed and moved closer to Tris. "This isn't right."
"I think I understand my mother a little better now. She came from out here. She lived like this." She replied.
"No wonder she chose Abnegation."
"She took care of people and made sure the factionless were taken care of. She knew how wrong this was."
Sighing again, I put my hand against her shoulder, "You're a lot like your mother. Be proud."
"I am." She smiled.
Turning to follow Amar, we had barely gone ten steps where there was gunfire. And right after, a shout for help. Everyone around us scattered, but the voice was familiar. Running toward the sound if it, Amar was right behind me.
George.
Running down one of the aisles on the right, I moved through scrap-metal structures. Amar moved in front of me, racing faster than either me or Tris can go. He's out of sight in seconds and then everything went quiet, leaving us alone.
Tris moved against my back, both of us frantically looking around us. I felt sympathy for these people but I was smart enough to also be afraid of them. They had nothing more to lose and we were invading their home. They were like stray dogs, get too close and they would defend themselves.
Keeping my eyes in front of us, I could feel Tris behind me, only then she was pulled away from me. Spinning, she gripped my wrist and pulled me after her and whoever had grabbed her. Finding ourselves in an aluminum lean-to, everything is tinted blue from the tarp that covers the walls, insulating the structure against the cold. The floor is covered with plywood, and standing in front of us is a small, thin woman with a grubby face.
"What's going on?" I asked her, pulling Tris behind me.
"You don't want to be out there." She replied. "They'll lash out at anyone, no matter how young she is."
"They?" Tris asked.
"Lots of angry people here in the fringe." She stated. "Some people's anger makes them want to kill everyone they perceive as an enemy. Some people's makes them more constructive."
"Well, thank you for the help." Tris told her. "My name is Tris."
"Amy. Sit."
"We can't." I told her. "Our friends are out there. We need to help them." Thinking of George, we needed to leave sooner rather than later.
"Then you should wait until the hordes of people run to wherever your friends are, and then sneak up on them from behind."
Frowning, her advice was smart but unsettling.
Nodding, I watched Tris sink to the floor, appearing to try and relax. I couldn't pretend and there was no way I was sitting down when anything could happen. The vest it tight around me, making my chest feel like it couldn't expand enough. Taking to pacing in front of Tris, I kept my eyes on Amy. I appreciated her but I couldn't bring myself to trust her. Not yet. And she was just as on edge as I was, which didn't help anything. Running started to sound from outside, making me put myself between the tarp and Tris, watching Amy flick the corner of it aside so she could see what was happening.
"Eric was right." Tris told me.
Turning to her, I frowned, "What do you mean?"
"He said you'd be the one protecting me." She replied.
Smiling, I nodded before facing the tarp again, "I am the older and more capable one."
"I should have let you stay with him."
"You don't let me do anything, Tris." I replied, lifting the edge of the tarp just enough to see outside. "I am here because I agreed to be. I'm with you, Tris, so don't think that this is any way your fault."
"I'm not saying it's my fault. I'm just saying that if Eric had gotten his way, you'd be safe inside the compound right now."
"Do you really believe that it's safer?" I countered. "Out here is starting to feel more familiar. At least out here we know how to survive."
There was a long moment of silence before Amy broke it, "So you and your friends aren't soldiers. Which means you must be Genetic Welfare types, right?"
"No." Tris replied. "I mean, they are, but we're from the city. I mean, Chicago."
Amy's eyebrows rose as she looked at her, "Damn. Has it been disbanded?"
"Not yet."
"That's unfortunate."
"Unfortunate?" Tris frowned at her. "That's our home you're talking about, you know."
"Careful." I told her, meeting her eyes with a hard look.
She looked at me, swallowing before replying, "Well your home is perpetuating the belief that genetically damaged people need to be fixed – that they're damaged, period, which they – we – are not. So yes, it's unfortunate that the experiments still exist. I won't apologize for saying so."
Sighing, she had a point. It was all just one big genetic conspiracy. But it was still the place we called home. The people we care about – alive and dead – are from the city. We were just one small part of a much bigger world. These people understood that better than we did. They were far more affected by it then we realized.
The running outside had stopped and it had been minutes since anyone had passed by. "I think we're clear."
"It's time for you to go." Amy agreed, dropping the corner of the tarp. "They're probably in one of the meeting areas, northwest of here."
"Thank you." I told her.
"Again." Tris added.
She nodded at us and we ducked out of her makeshift home, the boards creaking beneath our feet. Keeping my gun raised, I assessed the alley before moving through the aisles, both of us moving as fast as we could. Everyone was still scattered, leaving no one to get in our way. Seeing George, I felt a small wave of relief, only then the alley opened up into a type of courtyard, and there's a tall, lanky boy who has a gun aimed him.
Immediately pissed, I didn't hesitate to move up behind him, taking in a small crowd of people that surrounded the boy with the gun. They had taken out the surveillance equipment, destroying it. George's eyes met mine and I nodded at him.
"Put the gun down." George told him.
"No!" The boy shot at him. He's anxious. He has no idea what he's doing. "Went to a lot of trouble to get this, not gonna give it to you now."
"Then just…let me go. You can keep it."
"Not until you tell us where you've been taking our people!" The boy yelled.
"We haven't taken any of your people." George replied. "We're not soldiers. We're just scientists."
"Yeah, right." The boy said. "A bulletproof vest? If that's not soldier shit, then I'm the richest kid in the States. Now tell me what I need to know!"
Tris touched my shoulder, getting a nod from me as she moved to stand behind one of the lean-tos, her gun pointing around the edge of it. Eric was going to kill me. Moving behind the boy with the gun, I moved through the crowd swiftly enough for them to not register who I was. When I was just inches away from him, I lifted my gun, taking aim at him.
"I suggest you do what the man asked." I told him. He spun, the gun spinning with him. "Try it and you'll be dead before you can squeeze the trigger." Those around us shifted to rush me. "Do it and he's dead. If you value him or each other in any way, I'd stay back. I will not hesitate to shoot him. And I'm not alone."
"I've got you in my sights." Tris shouted from where she was standing. "Leave now and we'll let you go."
"I'll shoot him!" The boy yelled back, turning his gun back toward George.
"Then we'll shoot you." I told him through clenched teeth.
"We're with the government, but we aren't soldiers. We don't know where your people are. If you let him go, we'll all leave quietly. If you kill him, I guarantee there will be soldiers here soon to arrest you, and they won't be as forgiving as we are." Tris told him.
I just grinned, "She may want the government to arrest you. But me? If you hurt him I'll drop you right here, right now. So I wouldn't pull the trigger if I were you."
"Pen." George said with worry.
The boy spun again, his gun aimed at me. "Maybe I'll shoot you."
I couldn't stop the laughter from spilling out of me. "You can try but if you shoot me then no one will be able to save you. And the person who comes after you will tear you to pieces while you're still breathing."
He faltered, only in the next second Amar emerged into the courtyard behind George, and someone in the crowd cried out, "There are more of them!"
Everyone scattered. The boy with the gun dove into the nearest aisle, leaving us all alone. For a second I wanted to rush after the boy, teach him who he was dealing with, but a hand found my arm and I looked up into George's face. I sighed and nodded at him, lowering my gun, rolling my shoulder as a small pain pulsed from the pressure I used to keep the gun in place. But I was pissed. I sympathized with these people but I would defend myself and the people I was with.
Amar wrapped his arms around George, and George thumped his back with a fist. Amar looked at Tris and then me, his face over George's shoulder. "Still don't think genetic damage is to blame for any of these troubles?"
"No." I retorted. "Tris."
Following her, I watched her look through the crack in the layered tarps. Sighing, I saw a little girl, crouching with her arms wrapping around her knees. She was terrified. Something had to have happened to make these people the way they are. It wasn't just genetic damage. This was learned behavior and the Compound was more than likely to blame for it.
"No." Tris finally replied. "I don't."
"This is their fault." I whispered to her. "This isn't genetics. This is learned."
"I know." She nodded.
"We need to go." I told her feeling incredibly anxious.
By the time we got back to the truck, Jack and Violet were setting up a surveillance camera that hadn't been stolen by people in the fringe. Violet was holding a screen with a long list of numbers on it, reading them to Jack, who programed them into his screen.
"Where have you guys been?" He asked.
"We were attacked." George replied. "We have to leave, now."
"Luckily, that's the last set of coordinates." Violet stated. "Let's get going."
Getting into the truck again, Amar drew the doors shut behind us. Double-checking the safety of my gun, I set it on the floor, Tris doing the same. It didn't seem right to be using it against these people. This was not what I had expected when I had woken up this morning. From the expression on Tris's face, she's thinking the same. I think we were both in shock about what we had seen.
"It's the Abnegation in you." Amar told her. "That makes you hate that place. I can tell."
"It's a lot of things in me." She told him.
I scoffed and laughed, shaking my head, "It's not just Abnegation. I'm a former Amity and I am right there with her."
"That means you're all about peace and neutrality."
"I'm not Amity anymore and both of those mean nothing to me." I shot back at him. "But those people still deserve better than what they've been given."
"It's true." Tris agreed. "It's not just Abnegation."
"I'm just saying that I noticed the same in Four, too. Abnegation produces deeply serious people. People who automatically see things like need." He told her. "I've noticed that when people switch to Dauntless, it creates some of the same types. Erudite who switch to Dauntless tend to turn cruel and brutal." My mind immediately moved to Eric and I wanted to hit him, right here, right now. "Candor who switch to Dauntless tend to become boisterous, fight-picking adrenaline junkies." That sounded a lot like Claude. "And Abnegation who switch to Dauntless become…I don't know, soldiers, I guess. Revolutionaries.
"That's what he could be, if he trusted himself more." He added. "If Four wasn't so plagued with self-doubt, he would be one hell of a leader, I think. I've always thought that."
"He's not the only one." I whispered.
Tris glanced at me before looking at Amar, "I think you're right. It's when he's a follower that he gets himself into trouble. Like with Nita. Or Evelyn."
Amar nodded but didn't say anything.
Silence filled the back of the truck, leaving plenty of time for the day's events to replay in my mind. I had been reckless and if – when – Eric found out, it was just going to end up in a fight. He would be right to be pissed. If he had done the same, I would be pissed. We needed to be careful and so far I'd been falling short of that.
But the Fringe bothered me. I didn't know what I was expecting, but the fringe was nothing like I had thought it to be. It was sad and hard to look at. Knowing how they were living while the rest of us were doing okay in the grand scheme of things. We had a place to sleep, a bathroom, three meals a day, and a roof over our heads. These people had nothing and were trying so hard just to survive. It sucked.
"So you and Tobias were good friends?" Tris asked Amar, breaking the silence.
"Is anyone good friends with him?" Amar shakes his head.
My head jerked toward him, frowning at the comment, "I am."
"She is." Tris confirmed.
"He's a brother to me." I replied looking out the window again.
"Good." Amar nodded. "I know he has trouble getting close to people. I gave him his nickname, though. I watched him face his fears and I saw how troubled he was, and I figured he could use a new life, so I started calling him 'Four.' But no, I wouldn't say we were good friends. Not as good as I wanted to be."
Frowning, I watched him lead his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He has a small smile on his lips. For some reason, I don't like the way he's talking about Four.
"Oh." Tris told him. "Did you…like him?" She asked.
"Now why would you ask that?" He asked her.
She shrugged, "Just the way you talk about him."
"I don't like him anymore, if that's what you're really asking." He replied. Tris's hand swiftly found my wrist, keeping me in my seat. "But yes, at one time I did, and it was clear that he did not return that particular sentiment, so I backed off." Amar went on. "I'd prefer it if you didn't say anything."
"To Tobias? Of course I won't." Tris replied. "Right, Pen?"
Amar opened his eyes and for a long moment he just looked at me.
"Pen?" Tris repeated.
"I'm not agreeing to anything." I told her. "He is one of the best men I know and I don't appreciate you talking about him like that." He just smiled at me. Scoffing, I shook my head before my eyes were on George. "But I'll stay quiet about your relationship with Georgie." I added getting a look from both Tris and Amar. "I know what that secret means."
"Thank you." Amar said softly. "You have to understand." He went on. "The Bureau is obsessed with procreation – with passing on genes. And George and I are both GPs, so any entanglement that can't produce a stronger genetic code…it's not encouraged, that's all."
"Ah." Tris nodded. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm not obsessed with producing strong genes." She smiled wryly.
"Thank you." He repeated.
Silence once again filled the truck, all of us watching the ruins turn into a blur as it picked up speed.
"I think you're good for Four, you know." Amar told her.
Looking at Tris, she staring at her hands. They weren't in a good place right now and to have the subject brought up wasn't doing anyone any favors. Not to mention that neither of us knew Amar very well. Opening my mouth to answer for her, she looked up at him.
"Oh?" She said through a thick throat.
"Yeah. I can see what you bring out in him. You don't know this because you've never experienced it, but Four without you is a much different person. He's… obsessive, explosive, insecure…"
"Obsessive?"
Sighing, I nodded, knowing how obsessive he could be. With fighting. With leaving. With his fear landscape. With his past. He was known for being slightly obsessive. And now that he mentioned it, he hadn't been as bad since he'd met Tris.
"What else do you call someone who repeatedly goes through his own fear landscape?"
"I don't know…determined." Tris replied and paused. "Brave."
"Yeah, sure. But also a little bit crazy, right? I mean, most Dauntless would rather leap into the chasm than keep going through their fear landscapes. There's bravery and then there's masochism, and the line got a little hazy with him."
"I'm familiar with the line." Tris replied.
"I know." Amar grinned. "Anyway, all I'm saying is, any time you mash two different people against each other, you'll get problems, but I can see that what you guys have is worthwhile, that's all."
Tris wrinkled her nose. "Mash people against each other, really?"
Amar pressed his palms together and twisted them back and forth, to illustrate. Tris laughed, but I knew something else was going through her as well. It was taking all of me not to lash out at both of them. Four was one of the most brave and amazing and selfless people I knew. He was something to admire. Did he make mistakes? Yes. But he was still a good man and just because he enjoyed going through his fear landscape didn't mean there was something wrong with him. He was my family and I'd stand behind him forever.