"No," Oliver Queen said flatly.

Arsenal crossed his arms. "Why not? My clone got to bring guests."

"Roy brought his wife and child. Unless there is something very strange you want to tell me, they cannot stay!"

"I came, without you drugging me or tying me up or anything! Just let them stay. They won't be any trouble," Arsenal promised.

Crash!

"Batman will pay for that!" Red Hood said, pointing at the Ming vase shattered on the floor.

"Oh, it made the most beautiful noise!" Starfire squealed, clasping her hands. "Let us do it again!"

"No!" shrieked Ollie, snatching the other vase out of her hands. "That costs more than all of you combined!"

"Feeling the love, Ollie," said Arsenal.

"So. Are we having meat for dinner?" asked Red Hood.

"It's going to be a long night, isn't it?" moaned Ollie.

…

"May we eat now?" asked Starfire.

"Not yet, we're waiting until Roy gets here," replied Dinah Lance, the Black Canary.

Ollie was staring at his helmeted dinner guest. "So, Red X-"

"Red Hood."

"Whatever. How are you gonna eat with that bucket on your head?"

"I'm not. I'll take it off when it is time to eat," Red Hood explained.

"What about your secret ID?" Arsenal asked.

"I'm wearing my backup mask under the helmet," said Red Hood.

"The green one you wear to bed in case someone climbs through your window again?" Starfire asked.

"That's the one!"

"Who climbed through your window? Dinah asked.

"So I reversed the apartment numbers and got trounced by a weirdo in a mask," said Arsenal. "But you have to admit, after all the confusion and fighting and stitching of cuts and negotiating over how we should split fees, we make a great team!"

"You know people call you the 'Outlaws', right?" Ollie asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" growled Red Hood, toying with his butter knife.

"How did Starfire join your team?" asked Dinah, trying to ease people's tempers.

"Uhh, how did she, Red Hood?" asked Arsenal, tipping his head up.

"I…don't remember. She was just-there one day," said Red Hood.

"Yeah, she was in the kitchen making her weird alien food," Arsenal said.

"Zorka berry pancakes!" said Starfire.

"Yes. Those," Red Hood shuddered.

"Hey, everyone! Hope you didn't start eating without me," said Red Arrow. "Oh. Guests."

"Oh, we didn't start eating. Nope, not at all. What does it matter that you were thirty minutes late, or that this is my first meal of the day. Wait, yes it does. You delayed my meal, and I'm very hun-"

Red Hood's tirade was cut off as Arsenal grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back into his seat.

"Um, who are you?" Red Arrow asked.

"This is Red Hood and Starfire. They're staying with me," Arsenal explained.

"Yes, Roy has given me a room in his house, and we do the super heroing together," added Starfire.

"Ok…"

"Meat," said Red Hood.

"I think we should eat now," said Dinah.

Red Hood and Arsenal lunged at Starfire, each grabbing an arm to prevent her from tackling the food. "We must hurry, or it will be all gone!" she yelled.

"Calm down! There will be portions!"

Starfire sat down. "Oh…"

Everyone loaded their plates with a steak and potatoes and carrots. Except for Red Hood, who took two steaks, and no vegetables.

"How's Lian, Roy?" asked Dinah, cutting her steak.

"Is that your go-to question?" asked Arsenal. "Why don't you ever ask about my life?"

"She likes your clone better," said Red Hood, removing his helmet to reveal black hair and a face mostly hidden by a green eye mask.

"If we weren't friends…" growled Arsenal.

"She's fine, a little cranky because she's cutting teeth," said Red Arrow.

"I prefer to cut flesh," said Red Hood, stabbing his steak.

"That's not as creepy as it sounds, right?" Ollie asked Arsenal.

"No, it's exactly as creepy as it sounds," said Arsenal.

"You're as creepy as you sound," snorted Red Hood.

"Why you have a similar name as Red Hood?" Starfire asked of Red Arrow.

"Um, I think because we both wear red? I mean, Red Arrow isn't my real name, that's Roy."

"What's your real name, Red Hood?" asked Dinah.

Red Hood leaned forwards. "Well I don't usually tell on the first date, but for you I'll make an exception. Ow!"

Arsenal set the Red Hood Helmet back on the floor, satisfied.

Ollie was not. "Now listen here, you little-"

"Wait, the only other time I've heard those exact words was at my first meeting with Batman's second Robin!" said Dinah, holding up a hand to silence her boyfriend.

"Phht, Robin? Who's that? I heard the second one was awesome, not like his wussy replacement," Red Hood said.

Arsenal put his head in his hands.

"It is you!" said Dinah, sitting down. "How are you still alive?"

"It's a long story. I'm sure you'll hear it someday. It involves magic water and lots of screaming."

"Ok… why so much screaming?" asked Ollie, feeling the last vestiges of his sanity slip away with this latest development.

"Because they brought me back to life, idiot, and it reeeealy hurts!"

"Who is 'they'?" asked Starfire.

"Another long story. Hey, are you gonna eat that?" Red Hood reached over, grabbed Red Arrow's steak off his plate and commenced eating.

"…Help yourself."

"Does Batman know you're still alive?" Dinah asked.

"No. Tell him and they will never find your body."

Ollie slammed his hands on the table, causing everyone to jump. "That's it! Out! All of you Outlaws! Out of my house!" he grabbed Arsenal and Red Hood by their collars and pushed them out of the dining room towards the front door. Starfire followed, pausing a moment by Dinah.

"Thank you for letting me have the dinner with you. I do not know many earth females that like me," she said sweetly.

"Oh…well it was wonderful having you. Uh, come again next time," she invited before thinking.

"Oh I shall!" Starfire said, and flew out the door.

"Dinah? Did you just…. Invite them back?" Red Arrow asked.

Dinah put her head in her hands. "I don't know what came over me!"

Red Arrow patted her shoulder. "Temporary insanity. Happens to the best of us." They listened for a minutes to the sound of Ollie yelling insults at Red Hood, and Red Hood giving as good as he got. "But let's not tell Ollie they'll be back."

"Agreed," said Dinah.

Any ideas for more Arrow Family Dinner chapter would be greatly appreciated. This is it. My last chapter like this.

~Unassailable Heart