Dawn was just breaking, shading the grey sky with a band of pink. Workers trudged in a steady procession of ones and twos to the gates, rubbing the sleep from half opened eyes. A few nodded Raviathan's way as they travelled along, but most ignored him. Raviathan headed down the main street, up two side streets, then through a wide alley. There was no order to the buildings in the alienage aside from the mutually agreed upon square and main road. Buildings just popped up wherever someone chose to live.

The farther from the square and the Market entrance, the shabbier the homes became. He passed a new home that had been erected about a year ago by an older couple who no longer had children living with them. It was a lean to, a few worn boards scavenged from the city and tacked on to an existing home. Raviathan expected that in ten years, the alley would be half its current width with a dozen similar homes added on. The shelters would become more stable as successive generations built floors and true walls. When that happened, second tiers would be added. It was how his apartment building had developed.

To Raviathan these humble new homes seemed hopeful. Families found a nitch to live in. These shelters might start off as modest, just a few boards to protect from the rain and cold, but like seeds drifting through the air, families found hold somewhere and started growing. It was the history of elves. Their homelands were taken, but the race survived. Shems said elves were like weeds, unwanted and tough to eradicate. Being called a weed was no insult. His people were resilient. Elves take the barest places and find a way to live.

The apartment he was looking for was on the other side of the alienage from his. Raviathan walked into a hallway, up a flight of stairs, and out the back where a system of scaffolding was in place. Who knew why someone hadn't occupied this area yet, but the poles and ledges were easy to climb and unused. It was the most discreet path to the apartment he sought. Down a short hall, he knocked on the familiar door.

A pale woman with very dark brown hair and shimmering dark eyes let him in. "Rav. I didn't expect you. Would you like some breakfast?"

Her voice was like rich, dark chocolate. Raviathan absolutely loved her voice. "No, no. I already ate."

"Tea then?"

"Sure." Had it been summer, she would have insisted he eat something. Toast at least. Winters were always times of conservation though. He took the other chair at the table. The kettle on top her little pot bellied stove was still steaming, and Raviathan noticed the blankets for her sleeping mat had already been stowed away. His eyes lingered there for a moment.

"I have to be at work within the hour. Perhaps…"

Raviathan nodded looking down at his hands. "Miram. I don't know how to say this tactfully." Her dark eyes went wide with alarm as she set the mug in front of him. He gave her a little smile to let her know it wasn't serious. "My father has arranged a bride for me."

Her shoulders slumped slightly in relief, which Raviathan understood well enough. If they had been found out, the consequences for her would have been worse than the exile he faced. Any adult caught having sex with a child would have their ears docked to show they were no longer elven. The former elf would then be beaten, stripped naked, and dumped in a pauper's field to be shunned by all elves for the remainder of his or her life. Miram and the others had risked everything, short of their lives, for him.

A sad half smile lifted the corners of her mouth, and she took his hand. "Well. I thought we might have another year or so, but we both knew it was coming eventually. Who paid the dowry?"

"We did."

"When will she be here?"

"Today. I just found out this morning."

"Hmm," she said starting her breakfast of toast and honey. "Seems quick."

Raviathan sighed with a nod. This was exactly why he liked the older women. No hysterics. No big scene. They were realists. He wondered what Miram had been like when she was his age. He hoped his wife would be as beautiful, capable, and compassionate. Folding his fingers together, Raviathan studied his hands. "Miram, I want to be a good husband."

She smiled and squeezed his wrist. "You will be. You've got a good heart Rav."

A drop of honey that had been on her finger stuck on his wrist in a sticky oval. He sucked it off. "I'm worried about it. What if I don't like her?"

Her dark eyes turned down as she dribbled more honey on her toast, and her smile turned mysterious. "Worry about that after you meet her."

"But…"

Dark eyes held his. "Do you love your cousins?"

"Of course."

"Did you get to choose them?"

Raviathan blew out a breath understanding her point. "But I grew up with them. We've shared everything together."

"True. And that's part of what's exciting about these matches. There's a whole person for you to get to know. There will always be a little mystery, and a lot of discovery." She studied him for a moment then said, "You know why we have arranged marriages?"

Raviathan shrugged. "To promote connections with other alienages. Keep our lines strong."

"That's part of it. Why we don't have marriages within an alienage. But one of the reasons it's arranged is that it takes away judgment." Raviathan cocked his head inviting further explanation. "You don't judge your cousins because no matter what you do, you can't change the fact that they're your cousins. It's the same with siblings. There might be some fighting, because that's how children are, but you still love them. Shems choose their own spouses, and many times they end up miserable. Not always, but they seem a lot less successful than elves. They make their choice out of infatuation or lust, but that doesn't last. When the emotions run their course, they still want that excitement, but they're stuck, and then they start to resent their spouse. They act as if they've been betrayed because they can't keep what was promised. They have all these expectations that were failed. Neither of you have any expectations. You come to each other fresh, and knowing your fate, will do your best to get along."

Raviathan smiled and squeezed her wrist, avoiding the honey on her fingers. "Good advice. But what if she doesn't like me?"

The fine lines around Miram's eyes crinkled as she smiled. "Rav, you're too damn charming when you want to be. Give her that smile, and be the sweet boy that you can be, and you've got no worries my dear."

Raviathan leaned down to kiss the top of her hand. Had he not been betrothed, he would have sucked the honey off her fingers. "Thank you," he whispered. He finished his tea while she cleaned her hands. They embraced and kissed goodbye.

"I still expect a visit now and then for tea."

"I can finally use the front entrance."

She laughed. "It'll be fine Rav." She studied him again with eyes as large and endless as the night sky. "You know, I'm grateful we had these years. You made me feel young again. And," she said wrapping one arm around him in a half embrace, "I never thought I'd feel so much like a woman again."

He stroked her cheek with his thumb and gave her one final kiss on the lips, sweet as it was light. He rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you," he whispered. When he leaned back, he studied her dark eyes for a long moment. "You're really alright?"

"Sure," she said patting his arm. "Or at least I will be soon. Not to worry."

The two of them headed in different directions down the hall. Raviathan's way was quicker, and he was already past the alley by the time she left the building, a sad but content smile on her lips.

Raviathan climbed a semi-permanent ladder to some scaffolding that the residents of the second story considered a deck. He crept across a roof top so as not to disturb the family inside then around the building. One day the scaffolding would be closed off to make proper hallways, but until then Raviathan would use it to travel between apartments. He dropped down through a small hole in the corner of the scaffolding, made a turn through the tight construction, avoiding waste puddles, and arrived at his second errand.

Bethany, a sweet faced red head, let him in. Just as with Miram, there was no drama. She smiled, quietly accepting the news, and they said a bittersweet goodbye to the relationship. When Raviathan left, jumping against the stone wall and grasping the edge of the hole to pull himself up to the deck, he felt like he had been cleansed. He walked a little straighter, his head held a little higher. Both women had been graceful and sweet, glad for the time they had and ready to move on. They were all done with the relationships they had to hide. As much as he had enjoyed his time, they had all been at risk and with risk came an undercurrent of guilt.

"Be a good husband Rav," Bethany had said. "If I knew I would only have fourteen years with my Dennin, I would have soaked up every minute we had together for all that it was worth. Look for the good, and build on that."

It was strange to feel so light. It was an odd sort of freedom, and he paused for a moment in a hidden corner between ramshackle homes and turned his face to the sun. He closed his eyes and let the sun's light wash his skin, the heat sinking in. This new freedom made him dizzy. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how oppressive all the hiding had been. Before the widows, there had been a greater chance of being found out, but with them the consequences were much worse.

The grumblings of the works leaving the alienage and the morning greetings between women drifted up from the ground below. Pregnant women and those women who remained at home took care of the young children. They traded jokes and bits of gossip between them as they went about their business. A toddler started crying, his clumsy arms reaching for his mother's retreating back. Little Terin. He was the first child Raviathan had delivered without his aunt. It had been so much scarier without her. The burden of responsibility had been solely on him, and it was one of the few times he had felt loneliness. It had been an easy delivery, thank the Maker, and when the little blue eyed boy was in his arms, that loneliness retreated. He had never felt that way since.

As he cleaned the tiny newborn, his heart had swelled just as it had when his cousin Eldwyn, the first child he had ever helped deliver, was born. It was in the moment Terin was born, healthy and whole, that Raviathan understood the protectiveness his mother and aunt had for the alienage. They were the caretakers and guardians, and it was their strength and wisdom that stood like holy pillars in his mind.

Terin quieted when his auntie Myra wiggled a little stuffed bear in front of him. The tears stopped as he reached for the bear, his auntie leading him back in to the warmth of her home. As much as he hated the rumors, his family was everything to him. How did his bride feel about leaving her home? How many people and memories was she leaving behind? Sometimes he heard stories from the other elves who travelled to Denerim, how strange a new alienage could be, how it was just familiar enough that the differences were all that more noticeable.

In some ways he would have preferred to be the one to leave for a new alienage. The idea was exciting, as was the prospect of getting away from the reputation he had. It would be a wonderful thing to start somewhere fresh and unknown where he could leave the rumors and memories behind. No matter his efforts, those rumors continued to dog him. What wouldn't he give up for a clean start? Those thoughts lasted until he thought of leaving his father and cousins behind. Raviathan wondered if his father had paid a dowry because it would be less noticeable if no one wanted to take him for a match for their daughter. Dowry prices were not discussed much, so an excessive one to make up for a possible bad match could go unnoticed.

The feeling of lightness diminished, and Raviathan started back for Alarith's shop. Whoever this Nesiara was, he hoped that she would not be too put off when she learned more about him. It was a depressing thought, and he wondered why he was so worried about what he would think of her. He was a selfish child.

"Hey, Rav," a woman whispered from her door.

He glanced at her then nonchalantly scanned the alley. Seeing no one, he ambled toward the door and slipped inside a tiny one room apartment. One wall of the home was the plaster exterior of another house, and gaps in the wood had been roughly patched or stuffed with hay muck. Sleeping mats for the couple and their child to share lay in one corner. Instead of a proper stove, they had a stone box to cook their food. Cevin, a boy of three, sat miserably on the wooden toilet.

"Thanks for coming in," Alorn said. She was pathetically thin with worn hair and worn clothes and a worn slump to her slender shoulders. "Cevin's been throwing up and having the runs since yesterday."

Raviathan knelt down in front of the boy and rested his hand against the child's head. "Hey Cevin," he said gently. "You're not feeling well?"

"No," he said in a slow whine. He panted slightly when a watery slosh came from the bucket. "Tummy hurt."

"Tummy hurts, huh?" Raviathan put a hand over his lower stomach and asked, "Does it hurt here?"

Cevin managed a 'm-hmm' and nodded. Raviathan brushed back the boy's fine hair then stood to talk to Alorn quietly. "Two days you said? He has a fever. Any other symptoms?"

Alorn crossed her arms over her stomach. "Started yesterday afternoon. He started throwing up. I wasn't sure if I should talk to you."

Nearly everyone knew about him. While he understood his father's desire for caution, there were many more times he saw it as foolish or occasionally dangerous. "It's fine. I think Cevin has a pretty common infection. Give him more water to make up for what he's losing and mix a bit of salt with it. Enough so that it tastes like a tear. Feed him in smaller meals throughout the day, and that will help when he needs to vomit. No fruit. Broth is best. If you can, give him an elfroot leaf to chew on. The infection is transferred through feces, so make sure you clean yourself and him well, and be careful how you clean the toilet so it doesn't spread. He should be fine in a few days. If not, let Alarith know and I'll make something, but I don't think that will be necessary."

"Okay," Alorn said. "So it's not serious then?"

"Well," Raviathan said. He didn't want to worry her needlessly, but there were dangers. "As long as he gets enough fluid, he should be fine. Let me know, alright?"

"Sure Rav." Alorn fidgeted then started to say, "About payment…"

Raviathan raised a hand. "Friendly advice." She always asked, and he always refused. Most others didn't bother asking even when they could afford to. Raviathan wondered if it was pride that always made her offer, but she was always relieved when he said no. Raviathan bit his lips which caught Alorn's cautious interest. "Well, perhaps you can return the favor." She raised her eyebrows in surprise. Raviathan nibbled his lip feeling shy. "Um, what was it like coming to a new alienage?"

At that Alorn gave a nervous but warm smile. "Actually, I didn't have an alienage before I came. My parents worked for a bann, in the fields. Just walking through Denerim for the first time was strange. I like it here though. Even though it was hard leaving my parents, it felt good being around other elves."

"Then how was your match arranged?"

"Valendrian." Worry tightened her forehead. "Are… are you leaving?"

"Um," Raviathan said feeling shy. "Well, my bride is arriving today. From Highever. I was just wondering what it would be like for her."

Alorn's smile took the fatigue from her face, and she hugged him. "Oh, that's wonderful."

A shy smile softened Raviathan's mouth, and he looked down at her bare feet. "Yeah. I'm just nervous."

"Don't be Rav. Things will turn out fine. One look at that face of yours and she'll be smitten for sure."

It was the closest Alorn ever got to flirting, which made Raviathan chuckle. Cevin whined, "Mommy," which ended the conversation.

"Take care Alorn. Lots of water."

"Thanks Rav," she said as she knelt to rub Cevin's belly.

Raviathan glanced out the window first, then quietly left when he was sure the alley was empty. Perhaps another reason his father wanted him to stay in this alienage was because he felt he might be able to protect his son that way. Raviathan wondered about that. He wasn't all that familiar with the templars here, but he would be lost in another alienage where he didn't know the attitudes of either the elves or the templars, or even where the local Chantry was. In another alienage, the elves wouldn't know about him though. Would he keep his secrets, or would seeing elves in need of attention eventually draw him out anyway? What would this Nesiara think? Raviathan was glad his father hadn't told him beforehand. He would have driven himself mad with questions.

Back at the shop, a few men stood together in a corner discussing tools and work opportunities that might come up with the approaching annul. They greeted him absently as he went behind the counter to wash his hands then collect the orphanage groceries. He whispered to Alarith, "Alorn's son is ill."

Alarith gave him a small nod. He had relayed messages often and kept Raviathan's medicinal goods behind the counter. "Come back later to see about that supplier."

Raviathan balanced the box on his shoulder and headed out. The orphanage was not far, just down the street from the square. Most of the workers had left for the day, but there were still many elves milling about in the bright morning sun. The southern wind that blew in with bitter frost had died down which made the winter day almost bearable. Wives and children, a few who worked in the alienage, and some who worked evenings and came during the day to visit their families milled about the square. Two elderly elves, Dyncar and Amrie, sat on the same bench they did everyday watching the same routines pass as they had for years. The two men rarely spoke, just watched everything with their wide, owl like eyes. Raviathan delivered the box of groceries to the back kitchen then left to find Soris.

"Hey cousin," a voice greeted him from the breakfast hall.

"Hey Soris. Are you free?"

"I have some mending to do for my chores first," said Soris giving him a hug.

"Okay."

Soris led the way knowing Raviathan would help make the work faster. They sat on the laundry room's short stools threading needles by the light from the still frosty back window. Raviathan eyed the small garden. "Elfroot is in the wrong place. It should be planted where it gets more shade. The cabbage needs more sun and protection from the morning cold. She planted them way too early. They won't last three days. If they're still alive."

"Huh. Don't tell that to Venri. She'll chew your ear off for criticizing her garden," said Soris. Though they were first cousins, Soris's father was Raviathan's uncle, no one would guess they were related. Soris had Cyrion's blue eyes and fine pale skin with auburn hair he kept very short. The only trait they shared were their soft lips, though Soris's mouth was a bit thinner.

"Doesn't make it less true." Raviathan grabbed a sock and started darning while Soris struggled with the needle.

Soris squinted with one eye shut as he tried again to thread his needle. "I've got news cousin. Valendrian has found a match for me."

Raviathan laughed. "Then we'll have a double wedding to be sure."

"Who else?"

"Who do you think cousin?" Raviathan said with a grin.

Soris dropped his needle. "You're getting married too?"

"Apparently. She's coming in from Highever. My father said she should be here today."

Soris picked up his needle but did not try to thread it again. Raviathan did not slow his fine, even stitching as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," Soris said glumly. "I guess it's better than remaining a child though."

"Do you have a place to live?" asked Raviathan. That would be a huge concern for Soris as he would have to leave the alienage soon.

Soris sighed. "Valendrian and Uncle Cyrion will help with an apartment for a bit. I guess being a servant isn't so bad."

"You already have work?" Raviathan asked surprised.

"No, but it's that or the docks."

Raviathan shook his head as he pulled a pair of pants from the pile and looked them over. A seam had come loose. "I'd rather take the docks."

"I can't see you serving a human, that's for sure," Soris said with a laugh.

Raviathan would have asked how Soris could do that kind of work, but it was cruel to bring up bad memories. While hiding behind garbage, Raviathan had watched as Soris's parents were killed, burned in their home by guards during the last purge of the alienage. He had nightmares of Soris's mother's screams as she was kicked back into the burning house, dying far too slowly. He had held his cousin that day, tried to keep him from seeing and hearing what was going on, but there was only so much he could do, and he couldn't block out the smells of burning. His cousin had cried loudly for months on end, then years of silent tears. He switched subjects instead. "Do you know who Valendrian chose for you?"

With characteristic gloom, Soris recounted what he knew. "Her name is Valora. I haven't actually met her yet, but I heard her talking to Valendrian and Venri. She sounds like a dying mouse."

With a smirk Raviathan said, "Then I'll get you a cage as a wedding gift."

Soris barked out laughter before sobering. "Hey. That's terrible."

"Come on," Raviathan said trying to cajole his cousin into a better mood. "She can't be that bad." He picked up a shirt with a torn sleeve while Soris was still on his first sock. "Hurry up or we'll miss our own weddings."

Soris asked, "Do you know what you'll do for a living?"

Raviathan frowned, just a slight crease in his brow, "No. Alarith was asking earlier. Father refuses to let me be an herbalist openly. You know he won't let me practice medicine at all. Alarith said I should get an apprenticeship. Seems kind of late for that though." Apprenticeships usually started between twelve and fifteen, and he had been far too busy with his mother and aunt's training to even think of beginning one. The first years of an apprenticeship were also subsidized by the parents, which meant orphans were almost never able to secure one, and without a family to help in the first years, orphans were considered a difficult match at best.

"Then what?" Soris asked.

"Maybe it will be the docks then," Raviathan said. Now that the idea of marriage was settling into him, he wondered if that would be enough to support a family.

"Cousin," Soris said, the reproach clear in his voice.

"I don't mind the docks."

"It's not safe there," Soris replied.

"Oh come on Soris. Lots of elves work there."

Soris turned to fully face him, an undertone of anger in his otherwise placid voice. "You know that beggar Torries? His legs were smashed, and the dock workers just left him in an alley. It was days before his family found him and now he's a cripple."

Raviathan knew better than Soris about Torries situation but didn't say more about it. "Shems are shems everywhere. I'd rather have an enemy I know is an enemy, not like some rich shem who smiles with knives in his eyes while he yanks my ears."

"Hey now, I might resemble that remark."

Raviathan thought about his words and sighed. "You're right cousin. I'm sorry. I don't mean to put you or my father down." They finished the rest in silence.

In order to leave without the orphanage headmistress knowing, Raviathan and Soris slunk through the halls in an exaggerated espionage game. The younger orphans caught on, and Raviathan organized them like soldiers, to run diversions as he and Soris worked their way through the halls. His best little soldier, a red headed girl, got a wink and kiss on the head as the two left.

Soris burst out laughing when they were outside. "You had Venri spinning in circles. My cousin, the master tactician."

"You're not getting those kids in trouble, are you cousin?" asked a familiar voice he had known for as far back as he had memories.

Raviathan smiled as he put an arm around Shianni's shoulder. "Of course not," he said giving his cousin a kiss, and the three walked down the street.

"Hey Shianni," Soris greeted his cousin. Unlike Raviathan, these two looked like the first cousins they were. Shianni's short red hair, loose with a series of small ponytails, framed a cute face full of mischief. Soris's longer face tended to more seriousness. If he was any less pretty, he'd be downright glum. She and Soris both had pale skin as was typical of Ferelden elves but theirs appeared luminous in the indirect morning light. She had grey brown eyes with more of a shine than most elves and tended to change color depending on the light or what she wore. Her extraordinary eyes and red hair had been the source for a few crushes among the alienage boys, but she had turned them all away.

"Hey yourself," she said with laughter in her voice. "Skipping out on chores again?"

"No," Soris replied indignantly. "All finished for the day."

They made their way across the square to a vendor. Raviathan paid a copper bit for some twisted bread then they perched high on the never used scaffolding of an old apartment building overlooking the square. They sat partially in the shade of the building with their legs dangling over the side. Shianni held the bread between them as they ripped off pieces to eat.

Raviathan said, "Guess what Shianni. Soris is moving out of the orphanage."

She turned to Soris in surprise. "Really? Why?"

Soris looked down at the square. "I'm getting married." He told her what he knew about his bride and their plans for the next months of marriage before it was officiated by the Chantry.

She looked genuinely happy. "Congratulations Soris."

"You just want an excuse to drink," he muttered.

She laughed at him. "But weddings are so much fun. Music and dancing. This is a good time to get married too."

Soris looked at her, his face puckering. "Late winter? Why is that good?"

"Because we need something to distract us from the cold," she said.

Soris pulled off a hunk of bread eating with exaggerated irritation, but Raviathan laughed. "I'm glad you approve of winter weddings." She looked at him quizzically. He returned it with his own mischievous smile, "It's to be a double wedding."

She let out a little shriek and hugged him. "Oh cousin. I'm so happy for you." She nudged Soris, "Both of you."

Raviathan teased, "I think he might finally run off to join the Dalish."

"Not after that first time we tried." Soris scoffed. He turned serious at the thought. "Do you think they're real?"

"Alarith says they are," Raviathan replied. "He was rescued by a clan when he escaped from Tevinter."

Shianni narrowed her eyes at Soris. "You aren't thinking of really running off."

Soris pouted. "Honestly, I don't think they're real. Besides getting lost again? If I did try to run away I'd probably be run through by bandits."

"That's not true," Raviathan said and squeezed Soris' shoulder in sympathy. "You don't have any money. They wouldn't bother." Shianni slapped his leg, and they both laughed quietly at their gloomy cousin.

"Oh gee, thanks cousin," Soris said with mock scorn. "You seem to be taking this marriage well."

Raviathan shrugged. "I don't really want to get married, but my father put a lot of effort into arranging this. I thought about running too, but it seems cruel to abandon my bride. I can't imagine what it would be like to travel all that way to find someone would rather run than be with you."

"I think Elva's husband wishes he had run. To be stuck with her." Soris shuddered.

"That gargoyle. No matter what, our wives can't be worse than her," said Raviathan.

Shianni laughed. "That's the spirit. Better than gargoyles."

They chatted happily as they watched the elves below. A group of three men were getting drunk across the street from them and started singing comically about an affair with a mermaid. It was better than some of the drinking songs the three had heard over the years. Two children were carrying water from a nearby pump. Raviathan guessed they were either getting a bath or their mother was doing the washing. Wives carried their shopping back home for the evening meal. One had a bolt of deep wine red cloth, and he wondered if there was to be another wedding announcement.

From the scaffolding Raviathan could see the main gate of the alienage that led from Denerim's Market. Though the Market wasn't far, he almost never left the alienage. Excursions had been rare and notable, usually under the guidance of his mother or aunt. The Market was just through the gates, yet he could count the times he had visited it on one hand. From the gates a young woman with long pale blonde hair and a pack made her way timidly into the alienage. "I think that may be her."