Warning for this chapter: mentions of character death.

~Heart

Bruce Wayne sat at his desk and rubbed his temples. Work was hard today, and he was probably going to be late meeting his sons for lunch. He started a bit as his phone buzzed, and he checked the caller ID. It was Tim. He hit answer and brought it to his ear. "Hello Tim."

"Hey, Bruce, this is the Red Hood."

Bruce stiffened. "Jason. What are you-"

"Let's just say you might want to cancel Timmy's appointments for today. He's…not gonna be able to make any of them." Click.

Bruce stared at the phone in horror. "He's- he's finally done it." He pulled a Justice League communicator out of a drawer and hit the button. "I need backup! Heavy backup!"

….

"I could probably just go to a hospital," Tim offered, watching Jason dig around in a rather large bin of medical supplies.

"Only if you can walk there. My bike was totaled. Along with your ankle," Jason said, holding up an ace bandage triumphantly.

"Um, it's just sprained," Tim pointed out.

"For now, anyways."

"I have a thing later…."

"I called Bruce. Everything's taken care of. You can even crash here until your ankle's healed. See? I can be nice," Jason said, this last comment apparently aimed at Roy, who was leaning against the wall.

"Phht. No you can't. Nice people order a pizza and then share it. Not hoard it," Roy said.

"I was hungry!"

"So was I!"

"Do you…have any food?" Tim asked, tentatively.

"Pizza," Jason said. "I'll get it."

Tim fiddled nervously with the edge of the bandage wrapped around his ankle. He wasn't really sure why he was here. Red Hood and Arsenal had crashed his fight and then brought him here when he had hurt his ankle. But the time before this when he had seen Red Hood, he had been chased halfway across Gotham before Batman had rescued him. Now the Red Hood apparently just expected him to hang out with the Outlaws. Or they had brought him here to do a ritual killing, over which Jason would preside. It could swing either way.

"All we have is cheese," said Jason, walking back in with a pizza box. "Who ordered the cheese?"

"You did," said Roy, sitting on the couch next to Tim (who was now pinned between Jason and Roy. Bad place to be if the ritual killing possibility decided to become probable) and grabbing a piece of pizza. "You had a concussion, and you wrestled the phone away from me and ordered six cheese pizzas. Then you put them all in your room and refused to give any of them, or give me the phone to order more, or let me out of the house to buy food. For two days."

"…No comment."

"Did you bring me here to murder me?" Tim asked.

"What?"

"Why would I murder you?" Jason asked, sounding confused.

"You keep trying to! You shot at me!"

"Yeah, but I missed. Plus, it's boring here with only Roy to talk to-"

"Hey!"

"-so you're safe for now. And there's a marathon of Psych on. There really is nothing better after a fight than pizza and TV," Jason said.

"That's true," Roy agreed. "But we might kill you later."

Jason reached around Tim and smacked Roy. "Don't joke about murder! I was murdered once, and it offends me."

"Ow! What's your problem?" Roy complained, rubbing his head.

"Honestly? Mostly hunger," Jason said, picking up a slice of pizza.

"Dick said once you punched him because he refused to share his fries, and you hadn't eaten in a while," Tim said.

"I remember that. I punched the waiter too."

"And now the Waynes own that restaurant. Do you have any red pepper flakes?" Tim asked.

Jason dug through his jacket pockets. "I have some pepper spray…. That's pretty much the same stuff, right?"

"Well, not really, Jason."

"Shut up, Timbers."

"My name's Tim."

"I know that."

Crash! The door was kicked in suddenly, and Superman, Batman, and the Flash burst in.

"Tim!"

"What the heck!"

"Hi, Dad."

"Jay, I don't think we have enough pizza to feed all these people," said Roy.

"Tim, are you ok?" Batman asked.

"Um, yes?"

"You don't sound sure," said Jason. "Sound more sure, or they will hurt us."

"Jason, you led me to believe that you had killed Tim. Would you mind explaining that?" Batman growled.

"Ah, if I'm not actually needed, can I leave? I'm supposed to be keeping track of my grandson," the Flash said.

"You're excused," said Batman. "Anyone else?"

"Nah I'm good," Said Superman.

"Could you put the door back when you leave? And I'm going to be reimbursed for the damages incurred by this unlawful entry into my apartment, right?" Jason asked.

"No. Tim, we're leaving."

"But he didn't try to hurt me, and there's pizza here," argued Tim. "He even helped me bandage my ankle."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me for a while," said Jason.

"Are you not counting Starfire's Tameranian compliments?" asked Roy.

"I have a pretty good idea of what she's saying, and it's not complimentary, Roy."

"Look, you are running an unauthorized vigilante group," said Superman, stepping forwards. "And you took Robin here and left a cryptic message for Batman about it. How about we all go home, and clear this up later?"

"Well now he's never leaving," said Jason, throwing an arm around Tim's shoulders. The sudden movement had Batman pulling out a batarang.

"Jason, so help me-"

"Wait. That did sound violent. I didn't mean it as I'm going to kill him, I meant it as I don't like people telling me what to do; it makes me want to do the opposite," Jason clarified.

"Do I get a say in this?" Tim asked.

"No!" said Jason and Batman.

"Ok."

"Is this going to get resolved soon? I have a pizza order coming in," said Roy.

"Probably not. But we will need the pizza. For sustenance, when we barricade ourselves against the Justice League with Tim and never leave. After a while, we'll probably have to eat Roy. Because he'll be the first to go. Because Bats are better than Arrows."

"What? Arrows kill Bats!"

Jason looked down at Tim and raised an eyebrow. Tim looked uncertainly at Batman for a second, then looked back at Jason and nodded.

"BATS FOR THE WIN!"

There was a thump as all three boys wrestled in a heap on the floor, Tim and Jason trying to pin Roy.

"Get off you freaks!"

"Hey! I'm not a freak!"

"Ow! I think he broke my ankle!"

"This is for Tim's ankle!"

"Not the face- ow!"

Superman looked at Batman, who sighed. "I'll deal with this…"

"Alright. Next time-"

"Yes, yes. I'll make sure Tim's really dead before I call."

Everyone on the floor froze.

"And people say I have a grudge against Tim…"

Batman realized his unfortunate wording as Superman left. "Wait, I didn't-"

"Mean it? Sure, whatever you say," said Roy. "Next thing you know, Tim's 'accidently' been shot."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you!" Jason assured Tim, pulling out a gun and clicking the safety off.

"Wow. I feel so safe," Tim deadpanned.

"Tim, you're supposed to be the sane one in the family. We're supposed to meet Dick for dinner. Will you please come?" Batman pleaded.

"Dinner. And you didn't invite me," said Jason, shaking his head.

Tim looked beseechingly at Batman. "Please?"

"Oh, fine," Batman growled.

Tim grinned. "Hey Jason, wanna come to dinner with us?"

Jason tipped his head to the side. "Weeeell… ok. Will there be pizza?"

"How is this my life now?" asked Batman, following his sons out to the car.

But whether or not there was pizza is a story for another day. Also, apologies for the warning at the top. But to be fair, Tim's death was mentioned rather a lot.

~Heart