Sorry again for late update. I'm thinking of moving some of my stories over to AO3. I'll still update them here too, but just for a bigger fanbase. Also don't forget to vote on the poll for what pairing you want for this story: poal .me /hahyb2

~UC

Why am I here? Why am I here? Why the hell am I here?

Lithuania parked alongside the driveway. He was late. It's bad enough he woke up in a hotel to a strange naked woman in a hotel bed with him, and that he threw up so much he could barely breathe. He had to rush out of the room and just leave her there asleep. Boy, she would probably be pissed. At least he left a note. He then had to pull over and vomit some more at the toll booth. Not to mention he had a hangover from the previous night. His headache was so bad he had to stop at a store to pick up aspirin–which he took almost the whole bottle. But then again, he really didn't feel like dealing with that girl. It would have been so awkward. And now he was late for a job he shouldn't even be doing.
But he did get to see Russia's hot sister. And he got money. Money is good. Russia's hot sister is good. Very good. He sighed as he rushed in the house.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" he called.
"Not so loud…please," groaned Russia. Lithuania followed the voice. He dashed to the living room where Russia was sitting with a heating pad."Ah! Lithuania! Good morning!"
"Need something for a headache?" Lithuania asked.
"No thanks. I just took something," she replied.
"Alright then."
"Okay," she said, "Do you want to talk with me Lithuania? I'm really bored."
No. He would normally try to avoid being around Russia as much as possible. But…oil. And she was staring at him with those big violet eyes. He couldn't say no to that! Lithuania stood by the edge of the couch. He was far from relaxed.

"D-Did you need something?" he felt himself stuttering again. Just like he used to.
"No. I just wanted talk. Is there a problem with talking?" she said.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. Again, it's just last night was so hectic and I–"

"Don't be silly! I had pretty crazy night too. We all did," Russia cut off. Lithuania sighed in relief. "Man, what a great time! China got so high and then I realized someone had to take him home because he was getting out of control. Hong Kong eventually pulled through. He was chopping tables in half and tho–I think you know the story." Lithuania nodded. "What happened to you? You look really hungover."
"That's because I am," he replied, "I think I may have had a one-night stand."
"Ufufufu…Lithuania got laid?" Russia smirked.
"Um, I-I don't remember much. All I know is this morning there was a girl in my bed and a condom wrapper on the floor," he blushed.
"At least you were safe."
"Yeah that's a relief," he agreed, "But I couldn't really get a look at her because I had to rush here."
"I didn't get too wasted thankfully," she reported, "There were some really creepy guys at the bar. And I…" Russia paused. "Oh…wow…you were…"
"Wh-What? I was what?!"

"Don't you remember? This guy would not stop hitting on me and then he grabbed me all serious and told me he wouldn't take no for an answer and it was really scary. And you just came out of nowhere and socked him right in the face!" Lithuania was frozen. "It was really awesome, though I could have taken care of him myself. But then you continued drinking…and drinking…and I got to hear you drink your problems away and complain about things in your life. So I left. Belarus took care of you."

Russia sat at the bar to check on Lithuania. He didn't look too good. He had his head down on the bar, shoulders slumped over and body deflated.

"Lithuania?" Russia put a hand on his shoulder. He moaned.

"I'm worthless…" he mumbled.

"No you're not!" Russia replied, "You're Lithuania."

"I'm a failure. And nothing matters…" he continued.

"No no. Lithuania–how much did you drink?" she turned to the bartender, "How much did he drink?"

"I gave him eight."

"Eight?! Are you insane?"

"I'm useless…"

"You're drunk, that's what you are!" Russia replied.

"Why am I even here? I have no money or jobs, all of my marriages have failed, and all my people either leave or kill themselves! Why am I even here?" he slurred.

"No no no no, Lithuania, calm down. It's okay. I um…" Russia looked around, "I can't trust you to leave you alone…What do I do?"

"I should die…"

"No no! Let's not die!" Russia said nervously, "Ah! Sister!"

"Russia?" Belarus ran over to him, "What do you need?"

"Could you watch Lithuania for a second?" she asked.

"What? Why?"

"Please? I don't trust him alone so please watch him kay thanks bye!" Russia rushed off.

"Wait! I didn't agree to this!"

️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ ️

Lithuania felt ashamed for having Russia and his sister see him like that. He could only imagine what he was doing. Russia's demeanor suddenly changed. "By the way, I have this great therapist that you should probably see sometime. He is great at what he does. He has been doing this for many many years. He helped me when I went through that tough time when the Soviet Union collapsed. He really helped me get back on my feet. Because you really need the help. I think his business card is on my dresser somewhere…"
"Russia!" he said, "I'm so sorry that you had to see me like that…But I already have a good thera…" He paused. "Excuse me, I'll be right back." He then dashed to the bathroom. Russia heard the door open.

"Who is it?" Russia called.
"Just me!"
"We're in the living room sis!" Russia informed. Belarus followed her voice.
"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in last night's shenanigans," she groaned from the hall, "Ugh. Last night was awful."
"We're all hungover here! Join the club!" Russia called, "Oh! Sis?"
"What?"
"What helps with cramps again?"
"I use a hot water bottle or I take a bath."
"Could you get me one of those?" Russia called from the couch.
"Get it yourself!"
"But I am having really bad cramps. Please?"
"Ugh!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"Fine!"
"Thank you!" Belarus came into the room with a hot water bottle.
"You are a wimp," scoffed Belarus, handing her the desired object.
"Thank you sis!" Russia replied, "How come it seems like you never get your period?"

"Some get it worse than others," she replied. She was too hungover for explaining birth control to Russia right now. "But some women have it really awful. Some have severe nausea. Some have fainting spells. Some have to go to the hospital because they're in a lot of pain."
"That's really scary," she murmured.
"I'm glad that's not me," added Belarus. She groaned. "I remember taking care of Litvok and his sobbing sorry self. Then i remember getting shit faced and I woke–"

"Russia," entered Lithuania, "Sorry about that, I tend to throw up a lot after a night like that..."
"You drank a lot…a lot a lot…" Russia replied. Belarus froze. She fixed her gaze directly on Lithuania.

"Belarus?" She stormed over to him. She did not have a pleasant look on her face. She confronted him directly and kneed him in the groin. Lithuania let out a squeak of pain and fell to the ground. She then stormed out of the room. "Dievas danguje! Mano kiaušai…" he cursed, "Šudas!…Bliat!…Rupūžė!…Velnias!…"

"My! I didn't expect you to have such a foul mouth Lithuania," commented Russia. A tear ran down his face.
"Can't…move," he coughed. He felt like throwing up again. Russia put down the heating pad, got up, and rushed to the kitchen. She grabbed a small ice bucket from the bar and began filling it with ice. She was one of the few women in the world that understood the pain of being kicked in the testicles. She then rushed back to the living room. Lithuania hadn't moved.
"Here." She tried to help him to his feet.
"Ow ow ow…" She stopped. She thought for a moment. This was Belarus that hit him. She shuddered trying to imagine the pain he was in. She hated cramps. But she would take that any day over being hit in the testicles. Especially by Belarus. She then picked him up in his curled up position and quickly dropped him on the couch. She handed him the ice. "Thank you…Dievas…"

"Well, here we are. Both in genital pain," she said. Lithuania smiled a bit.
"It looks like I won't be going anywhere for a while…" he rasped.
"Me neither," she groaned.
"What did I do to deserve this?" Lithuania lamented.
"Maybe it was something about last night?" Lithuania winced, trying to remember.
"You have to remember something."
"I'm trying…"

"Hey! You came!" greeted Lithuania.

"I needed a night of drinks," she sat down next to him.

"Same here!" said Lithuania. She sat down next to him at the bar.

"Still upset about Russia not telling you?"

"…Not as much as before…" Belarus admitted, "I just feel that Russia doesn't trust me."

"I understand that," replied Lithuania, "Another Samanė please."

"White Russian," she ordered, "You didn't know, did you?"

"No," he replied, "But I've had a feeling for a long time…Russia's behavior really made me believe that he was at least bisexual...or possibly in denial."

"What made you think that?" she wondered.

"Well, you know...you saw me in those maid's outfits..." his voice got quieter. Belarus snickered at the thought. "The way Russia would look at me sometimes...like I frustrated him...Russia also used to stalk me after the Soviet Union, you know that?"

"Of course. I stalked him while he stalked you," she replied, "Maybe it's because you look so bloody feminine."

"Do I?" he asked, "Maybe I should get a haircut…"

"I think so too," agreed Latvia.

"Latvia?! When did you get here?" Lithuania said.

"Russia invited me for drinks. I heard drinks so I couldn't say no," he was really cheerful, "Another shot please!"

"I uh, haven't heard from you in a while. How have you been?" Lithuania asked.

"Great! I've been gaining more confidence since I've been away from Russia," he smiled, "Since she hasn't talked to me since this whole thing happened. I think I may have even grown a few centimeters," he took the shot, "I'm going to the bathroom." He patted Lithuania on the back. Lithuania flinched. Latvia smiled nervously.

"By the way, I got to thank you for showing me that dungeon room. I have never been more enamored by such devices in my life. You really missed out," she added.

"oh…" he took a long drink, "Was there-Was there still…blood on the walls? Another Samanė please."

"Actually, yes…" she answered, "It was really fascinating. Like visiting a gulag."

"Mhmm…"

"I'm going to find Russia. I want to talk to him about that thing…"

"Alright. Go on then. I'll be here," he replied. She left the bar. Lithuania sighed. "Another please." Lithuania knew this was his fourth drink already, but he did not care.

"Hey! Natalya!" Lithuania called, "How's it going bab–" Belarus suddenly struck him across the face.

"I don't care how drunk you are, NEVER fucking call me that again!" she growled. A smile slowly spread to Lithuania's face.

"Yesss…ma'am…" he giggled.

"What's so funny?" she replied.

"You…you look so cute like that…" She smacked him again. He then took a sip of the drink in front of him.

"Ugh, how much have you had to drink?" she scoffed.

"That doesn't matter baby," he replied.

"Ugh! You're in your scumbag phase…" she noticed.

"Ow! Why do you wound me so?" he grinned.

"I don't have time for this!"

"Where do you need to be in such a hurry?" he asked.

"Somewhere that isn't here," she remarked.

"Come on, one drink won't hurt you. Relax," encouraged Lithuania.

"You're the last person I would ever picture when I think 'relax'," Belarus scoffed.

"Not after about 5 Samanės and 2 antidepressants."

"Five? What ever gave you the gall to drink five?" Belarus replied, "And I thought that you are not supposed to mix anti-depressants and alcohol."

"I hear there's karaoke at the next bar," he invited, "Want to go?"

"No thank you," she spat, "I'm just going to leave and catch up to my fucking sister since I need to talk to her."

"Wait…Is that Russia?" Lithuania pointed out.
"I already talked with her a–"
"No. Look!"
"What the fuck are those shitbags doing to her?!" Belarus seethed.
"I'll handle this," Lithuania got up and sped over to where Russia was. Then suddenly, socked one of the guys around her in the face.

"Holy shit," gasped Belarus.

"Hey!"

"What the fuck?"

"Who the fuck does this guy think he is?!"

"L-Lithuania?" Russia breathed.

Lithuania then grabbed a sword that was mounted on the wall. He then pointed it at one of the men.

"I killed thousands soldiers back in the 13th century. I haven't killed anyone since World War Two. Don't make me lose that streak," he warned.

"He's got a fucking sword!"

"I'm out!"

"Wait for me!"

"Thank you, Lithuania, but I could have taken care of them myself," she said. He stood completely still. "Lithuania?"

"He's had 5 drinks and 2 anti depressants," informed Belarus.

"I'm just going to take this from you..." she said taking the sword from him.

"That's all I remember from the top of my head…" he winced, "I'm trying to get something else…

"My night was a bit more interesting..." said Russia.

"China! Get back here!" Russia called.

"Never!"

"At least get down from the Kremlin!" Russia bargained.

"No!"

"At least put a shirt on!" Russia begged.

"Why? I am a young and hip teenager aru!"

"China…" Russia warned, "For all that is good and communist, please get down before you hurt yourself!"

"You not even communist anymore aru!"

"That's it!" Russia then lost her patience. She then grabbed China, scooped him up, and began carrying him down from the roof of the Kremlin. I knew I shouldn't have let him have those Opiates.

"I'm surprised I've made it this far without being noticed. It's really funny how stupid people are."

"Yeah I'm s-surprised too," he stated.

"I couldn't have done it without you though," she continued, "I just wanted to say thank you…for everything. You did a lot for me and…I'd probably be in big trouble if you weren't here. You're a great friend."

"…Friend?" Lithuania repeated.

"Of course! We are friends, right Lithuania?" Russia asked.

"Um…" Lithuania wondered, did he really consider Russia a friend? Of course not! Not after this person treated him so horribly during the Soviet Union. Which he got no apology from. But Russia would always talk to him about the problems going on and trusted him with a lot more things than the other Baltics. He normally picked Russia up whenever she was drunk as of recently and Russia told him many secrets about her past. He was a friend to Russia. But was Russia a friend to him? Russia did always offer him help. Offered him a ride from the hospital after his sister broke his fingers. And a real friend definitely helps you when you get hit in the balls. Sure, he would find Russia occasionally stalking him and that freaked him out. But if what Russia had told him in the childhood stories was true…how awful. Going through all that alone…he pitied Russia. And now, Russia trusted so much in him. But this time, Lithuania didn't mind. He liked helping others and being a person others could rely on. He liked helping her. But he could never ever forgive Russia for what happened…

"L-Lithuania?" Russia choked, "A-Am I not your friend?" Lithuania then hugged her.

"Yes," he answered, "Of course you're my friend."