Author's Note:

Hey guys, I was talking to a reader earlier and I think it would be a good idea to take a moment to help you guys connect some of the dots in this story. It's pretty complicated already and I want you guys to be able to enjoy it without being COMPLETELY confused. I'm gonna be including more information as we go, tying up loose ends and adding new ones, so I thought it would be a good idea to take a time-out and recap some important things we've learned in the fic so far.

-So, we just found out that Lila discovered that Arnold was hacking into Helga's computer. If you hadn't already figured that out, it may have been a surprise. She states this in her 2014 diary entry which, we're assuming the story takes place in 2015, present day. In Chapter 5, Arnold cryptically discusses his computer habits with Brainy as he is looking at Helga's inbox and trying to understand what she's doing. He also states that he sent her some information to try and help her out but she hasn't opened the message yet. In Chapter 1, Helga reads an email from an address simply labeled 'Gold'.

"Several notifications caught her eye and the sound of her boss's footsteps eventually fading away was easily forgotten.

GOLD.

Another email. They didn't come frequently but it sparked her curiosity every time they did. Another tip. Another lead. This had been going on for the past year and this time it was a tidbit of information about a local CEO embezzling money from his corporation."

We can presume that this is the username Arnold has chosen to conceal his identity. Considering Arnold's hair is a golden color, you can see why I chose this. Also, in the book 'Arnold's E-Files', Helga gets messages from someone named GoldenHero (who she thinks is Arnold but it's actually Brainy but I digress...). However, he is not the one who sent the donor list to her. That's from a different, irrelevant source. She's a writer, she has sources.

Arnold's little 'project' is also mentioned in the middle of Chapter 4.

So, we know that Arnold is hacking into Helga's computer to send her helpful information for work and maybe check up on her a little bit, and it's kind of hinted that Brainy had played a role in Arnold's tech-saavy ways. The question now is why? He says he feels responsible. For what?

-Yes, Helga thinks Arnold is dead. I'm sorry if that wasn't as clear as I thought it was. Helga is clearly depressed and has pretty much socially isolated herself. Aside from work, she typically spends her time alone. Recall in Chapter 1, the flashback describing the accident:
"With napkins finally in hand, the last thing Helga saw was someone's license plate before she slammed into the vehicle in front of her. The impact caused her car to flip and roll upside down as the sounds of metal crashing into metal – scraping, grinding, crunching, compressing – was a cacophony to her ears. The last thing she saw before blacking out was a flash of green as a Packard, unable to stop in time, slammed into the passenger side of her car."

The accident happened because, due to a series of unfortunate events, Helga wasn't paying attention and she caused the accident. She woke up following the flip of her car, only to have a Packard slam into the side of her car. In addition, we have these vague statements she overheard in the hospital:

"… the accident … interstate … "

"… wasn't your fault… "

"…Arnold?"

"… don't… hospital … afraid … die…"

And later, we have this:

"That was in the past, though. She'd come through, yes, but for what? The burden she carried on her shoulders was enough to hold her in place as if her ankles were shackled to two boulders. She cut herself off from that life and moved to Columbia to start something new. However, much to her chagrin, her past haunted her.

Maurice Loenstein, Cindy Loenstein, Jimmy Loenstein, Brianna Loenstein, Thomas Anderson, Maria Gutierrez, Ar—"

All of this was supposed to point you in the direction of Helga thinking that Arnold did not survive the crash. I will be explaining this in more detail but for now, the important things to know are that:
-Helga thinks Arnold died and that she caused his death.
-She made a conscious effort to push everyone away and thus, has not been talking to almost anyone from Hillwood in years. She was in a coma for almost a year and then physical therapy in which she was essentially a toddler for a while. Due to shame and embarrassment, she didn't want visitors and didn't really want to talk to anyone because she COULDN'T talk for a while. Her pride got the best of her in that regard. Besides, by the time she recovered from the accident, it'd been a couple years and most people had moved on with their lives. Time, in a way, stood still for her while her peers did their own thing.
-There are still loose ends to tie up in this but hopefully once I do, it'll make sense. Helga's an emotional character and when she's really upset and worked up, she isn't always logical so that's what's fueling my idea (that you will find out about later).

Another thing about Helga:

This donor registry thing. If you haven't already figured it out, Helga got a list of donors and has been scoping certain people out and trying to find out if they were good people (reflecting on her despair over losing Arnold. In her attempts to atone for what, in her mind, is THE worst and most unforgivable thing she could be responsible for, she is trying to find people as deserving as Arnold would have been to donate to. After her comment about giving her heart to Rich, you can safely assume that Helga ultimately intends to end her life as she donates organs to people, one by one (and if you haven't figured THIS out already, the second movie whose plotline is being weaved into my web is Seven Pounds).

So, I think those are the two important things I needed to clear up. Other than that stuff, we know that Helga is helping Rich and has multiple motives for doing so (helping in more than one way - helping to find the niece and potentially giving her heart to Rich who has a heart condition when the time is right). We have this mystery going on with Lila that is steadily unfolding and if anything isn't clear with that, please let me know. I'm trying to be vague enough to make you think but I don't want to be so vague that I don't drop enough hints for you to properly follow or figure out what's going on!

Some questions to think about as you read:

Why is Arnold hacking into Helga's computer and spying on her? Why hasn't he actually tried to contact her?
What is up with Rhonda's weird and rude behavior?
Where the heck is Lila and how did she lose all that blood?
What else may have contributed to Helga thinking Arnold is dead?
What is the significance, if any, of Marguerite and what happened to her?
How is Helga's relationship with Rich (Peapod Kid) going to unfold?
What exactly happened to Lila when she was in middle school and who did it?
Why is Jenny Gilbert important and what was the significance of Arnold's lapse of judgment with Katie at the office?

Those are just a few things to ponder! :) In the meantime, please please please let me know if anything else needs clarification. I'm trying to keep this mysterious and fun and hearing the reader's thoughts, suspicions, and questions is invaluable to the writing process!

Toodles!

Muffin