A/N: PHEW! I almost didn't manage an update today. But here we are! Hooray…?

MY GOSH, thank you so much for all your amazing reviews, listings and love! I can't believe how many of you have joined this emotional ride. (HUGS) I really hope that you'll continue to enjoy the flight, despite all the turbulence…!

Awkay, because it's LATE… Let's go! I really hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

Sweet Child of Mine

/ No one remembers their own birth, of course. But for some incredibly lucky people there's a moment, just a single radiant blink of an eye, that marks the true beginning of their lives. Like a jolt of electricity that brings a human heart to start a second time. Derek Morgan didn't believe in such nonsense. Not until one ridiculously cold day of December.

There were a lot of days when Derek wondered if he was insane when joining the FBI-academy. Days when he needed to remind himself, firmly, why he decided to do so in the first place. Then there were good days. And one that changed his life forever.

Derek was just finishing up a gym session when he heard hesitant steps. "I, ah… Apparently I need some tutoring with hand to hand. Sykes… told me to come to you."

Irritated and curious, Derek turned to look. And experienced something that couldn't be described by words. He blinked once, twice.

The kid stood at the doorway… Was he even eighteen? But something in those hazel eyes…

The arrival shifted awkwardly. "I'm Reid. Dr. Spencer Reid." A frown furrowed the young man's brows. "You're Derek Morgan, right?"

Derek's heart thudded to life, violently, wonderfully. /

/ Like many other couples, eventually Derek and Spencer began to dream of having children. Obviously it couldn't happen the usual way. They couldn't believe their luck when Derek's sister Desiree agreed to be their egg donor and surrogate mother. At first Spencer was terrified of being the biological father. What if his genes would pass his mom's problems on to his child? What if his genes would destroy his child's life?

Those worries weren't soothed in overnight, and he had a feeling that they wouldn't be until his child was eighty. But some of the terror squeezing his chest was eased by the kisses and softly whispered words from Derek. 'You're perfect, love. And no matter what, your kid's going to be perfect, too.'

Their son was born on Spencer's twenty-first birthday. And true to Derek's words, every ounce of him was perfection. Ten little toes and fingers, hair and skin from Derek's side, eyes and facial features from Spencer's. The most beautiful baby Spencer had ever seen.

Meeting his parents at the age of ten minutes, the baby didn't cry. Instead those eyes, lifetimes old and heartbreakingly innocent all at once, looked at them calmly and seemed to see far more than they were supposed to. Then, as though satisfied with what fate had granted him, the child yawned gloriously and fell asleep in front of his parents' adoring eyes.

"Hank", Spencer whispered.

Derek blinked twice and looked at his husband. Unsure if he heard correctly, not quite catching on. "What?"

Spencer looked at him with the kind of a smile he'd never seen before, tears in his hazel eyes. "Hank Daniel Morgan-Reid", the genius clarified. "Our son." First name from Derek's father, the second from Spencer's mother. Perfection.

Derek realized that he'd never loved anyone more than he did the two precious beings in his arms. /

/ Baby Morgana didn't make a sound when she was born in the backseat of her parents' car. She was so excited about being born that she forgot to. Even forgot to breathe for the longest thirty seconds of her parents' life.

"Matthew?" Maeve whimpered, unashamed of how weak and desperate her voice sounded. "What's wrong? Why isn't she crying?"

Matthew wanted to cry. Wanted to scream. But as he stared at his daughter's lifeless looking face he was too much in a shock for either. Almost forgot to breathe, too. "Please", he murmured at last, sacrificing whatever little breath he had to that desperate exhale. With three horribly trembling fingers he massaged the baby's chest. "Please, love, breathe for daddy. A nice, big breath… Please…!"

So unexpectedly that it startled Matthew, brought him closer to dropping the child than he'd ever admit to Maeve, the baby gasped, nearly convulsed in his arms. And began to cry at the top of her lungs. Announcing her arrival to the whole world, daring anyone to question her existence and worth.

Tears rolled down Matthew's cheeks without him even noticing it. He pulled the baby closer to his chest, as though afraid that otherwise she'd be snatched away. "Hey there, sweetie", he rasped. "Welcome to the world."

He would've never, ever admitted it to anyone. Not to a single living soul. But as he sat there, in the same car with his whole world, Matthew felt a twinge of immense ache tainting the joy that threatened to take his breath away once more. It was longing that he had no way of explaining. /

The rainstorm seemed to come from out of nowhere. The noise it made upon battering the car was almost deafening. As was the silence which lingered between the two people sitting inside.

"Married?"

Matthew nodded slowly. Barely even comprehending it himself. He buried his horribly aching head to his hands and barely registered how badly they were trembling.

"Jennifer… She doesn't know what happened. No one does. All this time, they thought that I was…" He gulped laboriously, feeling sick.

He was married. He had another life. Someone he swore to spend the rest of his life with, or the person he used to be swore, anyway. And then…

How was he supposed to ignore this? How was he supposed to ignore that he was making someone as miserable by dying as by coming back from the dead? How would he ever forget the anguish in Derek's eyes?

And how would Maeve ever be able to look at him the same way again? Would she be able to love him even with the lost part of his life having come back to haunt them? His marriage to her… Was it even valid…?

Too many questions. Too many emotions. Too much.

Maeve was quiet for a long time. Too long. "So… That man you were talking to… He was your…?"

He nodded again, unable to utter a sound.

"And… Your name was Spencer?" Maeve was trying, so very hard and bravely, to process it all. He wanted desperately to take all her anguish away. (Why did he have to cause so much misery on the people who loved him?) "You were a profiler?"

"Yeah." He barely believed it himself. Another bout of nausea and intense headache made him shudder. There was a time when he wanted these answers more than anything, wanted anxiously to find out who he'd been. He should've been careful with what he wished for. His chest tightened painfully when he looked at his wife, and for the first time he didn't feel like he had the right to kiss her, no matter how much they both needed it. His eyes stung hellishly. "Maeve, I swear, if I had any idea…"

"How long have we been married?" Maeve scolded him gently. Her hold on his hand tightened a little. "I know you."

That was a hint of comfort. Despite everything. But only for a moment. Because the worst was yet to come. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth before pushing out the words. "And, Jennifer… She let something slip." He licked his lips in a subconscious nervous habit. "Said that 'those two have missed you so much'."

Maeve's hand shuddered. There was a beat's pause. "'Two'?"

How to voice it? How to pull her even deeper into this chaos? "I have a son", he breathed out, the words heavy on his tongue.

Rain continued to hammer the car.

Children see a lot more than adults imagine.

It was rather late in the evening, hours after the phone call, Hank's dad came home from the case. He'd been staying at his aunt Desiree's house during the case and noticed long before his dad's arrival how worried Desiree became. He tried asking if something was wrong. If his dad was okay. She wouldn't tell him anything. He wasn't sure if he should've been furious or terrified. What filled him was a mixture of both. Hank fought to handle those emotions like he usually did. He put on a pair of glasses and buried himself to a physics book that was barely challenging enough to keep his buzzing mind occupied.

Eventually Desiree headed outside, reacting almost instantly to the sounds of a car. Did she wipe her eyes on her way? Almost an hour passed. Confused and more than a little worried, Hank couldn't wait any longer. He peered through the window, to the dusk. And shivered.

Outside Desiree and his dad were hugging each other tightly. His dad had buried his face to his aunt's shoulder so he couldn't see the look on the man's face. But he saw the way his dad's whole frame was trembling. The man hadn't cried like that since… since… (since pa's death, Hank didn't want to think, didn't want to relive the worst day of his entire life, from childhood he'd almost managed to forget – he didn't want to think about anything concerning his pa because it hurt too much.)

What was wrong?

A one more hour later they were making their way towards home. Both too deep in thought to talk. Eventually Hank couldn't hold it in anymore. "Dad? What's going on?"

As soon as he saw the look on his dad's face he wished that he never asked. The man swallowed convulsively, feeling sick, holding back tears or both. Not casting a glance towards him. "I…" The man cleared his throat. "I'll tell you, but… Not now. Not yet."

The sincere apology in his dad's tone made whatever objections Hank had get stuck into his throat.

That evening they watched hockey together. Escaped a storm Hank couldn't quite understand. Outside the rain kept falling mercilessly.

Children see a lot more than adults imagine.

It was late and Morgana was supposed to be asleep. She'd almost dozed off when something she couldn't quite understand woke her up. A shiver. A chill in the air.

She frowned. "Daddy? Mommy?" Once she was fully awake she remembered that her parents weren't home, that was why grandma had come to watch Pixar-films and they had a pizza-party.

Confused, Morgana sat up on her bed, then crawled to the window that was right next to her bed. She looked down to the house's front yard, peered through the rain. At first a radiant smile lit up her whole being when she saw a familiar car. Until two people climbed out of the vehicle and fear, caused by something she was too young to understand, grabbed a frosty hold of her.

Her mommy had been crying. She could tell, because she'd they both cried at the same scenes in some movies and knew the signs. And there were bruises on her daddy's face, so pale that he seemed to be glowing against the fast darkening night. Both adults looked so incredibly tired and sad that it tore at her child's heart.

What was wrong?

Morgana hated being such a coward but she couldn't bring herself to leave her room for a very long time. She heard her parents and grandma talking quietly, then her grandma leaving. She pretended to be asleep when the woman stopped by in her room before departing. After that there was only silence, so heavy that it formed a ball into the pit of her stomach.

Finally Morgana gathered her courage and struggled herself out of the bed. Her steps were soundless and hesitant while she made her way downstairs. The living room was dark, but despite the lack of light she saw the outlines of her parents on the couch, her mommy sitting while her daddy rested with his head on her lap. The child froze, suddenly hesitant. "Daddy has a headache?" she guessed in a whisper and bit at her lower lip. She still hated those, even though he'd had them all her life. They scared her, and there was nothing she could do to take them away. And they always seemed to last a lifetime. What if one day one of them wouldn't go away at all?

Her mommy cleared her throat and sighed. "Yeah, sweetie", the woman confirmed softly, then wiped her eyes before looking towards her. "You should be sleeping."

Morgana shook her head, shifting weight from one foot to another. "Can't sleep", she admitted. Sleepless nights had happened on occasion for as long as she could remember. On some nights her mind was just too loud to allow her to rest. Tonight, though, she was restless for something else entirely. "Is daddy okay?"

"Yeah, sweetie." Her daddy pushed himself to a sitting position, and she was just quick enough to notice a wince. "Just… A long day."

Morgana was scared. Needed her parents. So she made her way to the couch and happily snuggled to their comforting warmth. "Can't sleep", she murmured.

"Me neither." Her daddy kissed her hair. "I have an idea. Forget about bedtime. Let's be silly and watch a movie. Whatever's in the player."

Her mommy grinned. And it was so familiar that it was soothing. "So you do have a wild side."

Morgana made her way eagerly to the DVD-player. She didn't know what movie was inside, didn't really care. As long as she could stay on the couch with her parents, where it was safe, she'd feel safe and happy. She'd be able to convince herself that whatever it was about all this that scared her didn't exist.

As it turned out the movie was 'Finding Dory'. Morgana fell asleep halfway through it. She never saw how tightly her parents held each other's hands.

Much later that night, when it was almost morning, Matthew and Maeve lay wide awake in their bed. It was Maeve who spoke first. "You need to contact him", she pointed out, her voice sounding wrong even to her own ears.

Her husband… He had a former life neither of them had no idea of before this. And now…

Maeve was terrified of what these revelations would do to them and their relationship. Scared to death that she'd lose her husband to the ghosts from his past. But she also realized that there was a boy she could rob off his father. It'd kill Matthew to live pretending that he didn't have a son, somewhere out there. Not seeing with his own eyes that his son was happy and doing alright, even with him having been stolen away.

Matthew's lips opened twice but nothing came out. Eventually he rolled to the side, then pulled her as close to him as possible. She held back eagerly, snuggled so close that it felt like she was trying to melt together with him. They both needed the contact.

Neither slept that night.

Elsewhere Derek was also having a sleepless night. Now that he knew that his husband was alive all he wanted was to have the man there. In his bed. In his arms.

Each time that thought spun around in his mind his head reminded him that the man he once married wasn't Spencer anymore.

Spencer was someone else, now. Belonged to someone else's bed. Someone else's arms.

Each repeat of those solemn facts made Derek feel like someone had been tearing his heart from his chest.

He shivered when his phone buzzed uncomfortably loudly and frowned. Didn't they just wrap up a case? They couldn't be…

But it wasn't a case. Derek didn't recognize the number but as soon as he opened the message he felt his head spin. He had to take a moment to gather himself.

'I know that I have no right to ask for anything. And I know that you're taking a good care of our son. But can I ask you just one question?'

Derek stared at his phone, his heart hammering and barely breathing. How did Spencer even know…? JJ. How could she…! She had no right…!

But now was hardly the time for that anger. Derek took a deep, shuddering breath. Then sent his response. 'Anything.' The word formed terrifyingly easily.

'Is he happy?'

Whatever he'd been expecting… This wasn't it. Derek closed his eyes and counted four inhales before he was able to figure out how to answer. 'He is. He's happy and brilliant. The best thing in my life.' And so much like you that sometimes it hurts.

It took a while before Spencer responded. 'I'm so sorry that I haven't been there. That everything went so wrong.'

Derek didn't realize that he was crying until he wiped his eyes. 'Not your fault. Ever.'

This time the response took even longer. Like Spencer was hesitating. 'You're happy, too, aren't you?'

Derek's heart was squeezed in a manner that couldn't be healthy. He swore under his breath and stared at the room's ceiling for a long time before finally gathering himself. 'Yes.' He would be, eventually, despite what he now knew. He'd have to be, because no one could possibly feel like this forever. He tried so very hard to be. 'Goodnight', he wrote as quickly as he could. Wanting to seal the conversation because he couldn't take any more than this.

Spencer seemed to understand. Maybe even felt the same way. 'Goodnight.' It sounded too much like the 'goodbye' they never got the chance to say, once.

Derek didn't sleep. He lay there, staring at the shadows and tried very hard to just keep breathing. And wished from the bottom of his heart that he would've been able to tell his husband all those things that he really wanted to say. Things that he did try to say, once, sent to a phone that was destroyed on the same night when his world came tumbling down.

'I miss you.'

'Please come back home.'

'I love you.'

'I'm sorry.'

Matthew did fall asleep soon after Derek's final message. But he slept fitfully. Dreamt of a little boy who might've been a distant echo of his lost memories or just a trick of his imagination. Dreamt of the attack he recently went through, of being captured by a serial killer. And of the looks on both Derek and Maeve's faces when his two worlds – the one he lost and the one he found – crashed together. Somehow those facial expressions, not the trauma, were what made him cry and whimper in his sleep.

Hank was only twelve but he had an IQ of 192. (Although he didn't really believe in those tests.) The following morning he could tell that something was bothering his dad.

He never, ever wanted to see that look of grief and heartbreak in his dad's eyes. Not again. Not when they'd finally learned to be happy with just the two of them. Whoever was causing this new anguish…

Hank noticed the constant, longing glances his dad cast towards the man's phone. When his dad headed to a shower the child decided to take action. Decided that it was high time he was a man and protected his family. Whatever was left of it, anyway.

It didn't take him long to find the chain of messages his dad hadn't had the heart to delete but it took very, very long before it finally sunk in what he was staring at.

It was the first time Hank headed to school without saying 'bye' to his dad.

It'd been a long day. Matthew and Maeve did their best to continue normally but how in the world were they supposed to do that under the circumstances? It didn't help matters that Matthew couldn't go to work due to the previous day's events and still had a crushing headache. Maeve let him out of her sight with visible reluctance, a kiss that made him feel ten times better and a promise that she'd be home as soon as she could with herbal tea that'd hopefully help with the pain. Physical and otherwise.

At around noon Matthew decided that he needed some fresh air and headed to a walk, despite the still pouring rain. As soon as he came back he got the feeling that something was wrong. And then he noticed the figure huddled to his doorsteps, trembling pitiably and soaked by rain.

A boy in his early teens. Very dark short hair, a slightly darker skin than his. But those eyes and facial features…

Matthew approached slowly, dazed, his legs so weak that it was a miracle they carried him.

And then the boy noticed him. Those eyes widened and filled with an overwhelming storm of emotions. Shock, joy, disbelief, rage, disappointment, grief, confusion… Somehow all that turmoil was squeezed into one, barely audible word. "Pa?"

TBC

A/N: And you thought that it was bad and angsty enough with just the adults… (winces) Now, how in the world is this mess going to continue and end?!

Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do drop a line or two to let me know! I'd LOVE to hear from you.

Awkay, because it's REALLY late I've gotta go. Until next time! I REALLY hope that you'll all join in then.

Take care!

Ash59: I'm really happy to hear that you've enjoyed the first couple of chapters! And don't worry, this story WILL be finished. Whatever kind of an ending there'll be… (gulps) We'll see how this story continues.

Colossal thank yous for the review!

ripon: DEFINITELY lots of feels! Those poor things! And that was only chapter two. (winces) We'll see just how painful it gets before the end…

Massive thank yous for the review! Until next time.

Guest: It means A LOT to hear that! (BEAMS)

HUGE thank yous for the review!

lullu: Awww, those kind words REALLY warm my heart! I truly hope that the next chapter meets your expectations. (smiles)

Monumental thank yous for the review!