Chapter 5:
A Brother's Fear and A Kind Heart.
The sky above was dark, clouded with gray and charcoal colored clouds. The air was perfumed with the smell of rain and the silence around only broken by the echoing rumbles that came from above. One drop, then two, and then three; in a split second a plethora of water drops damped the empty streets. As it grew dark, the street lamps stared flickering to life, casting the orange glow on the gravelly dark floor.
A young child; a boy, stumbled under the drenching rain. The gray tee he wore stuck to his small frame, his worn jeans were shredded around his knees and thighs, revealing nasty, swollen cuts in said areas. He couldn't remember how long he'd been walking injured, tired and hungry...
The young boy had to hunch forward and wrap his battered, hematoma covered arms around his torso, when a sudden strong gust of wind slammed into him with such force, that he momentarily lost balance of his stumbling feet. He stopped for a moment to shiver, his skin prickled and he let out an agonizing gasp, followed by a pained whimper.
The boy lifted his gaze and looked around him through his drenched, flattened brown hair; he needed to seek shelter, his body was violently shaking. He stumbled forward when he saw a pickup truck up ahead, perhaps he could hide under it? Half his mind was not with him and his head was throbbing with torturous pain; he wasn't thinking straight. The added weight of his drenched clothing made his body feel more sluggish and heavy than it already had been. Each step became more difficult to take, he panted heavily, his stumbling became more and more paused. It stopped all together when he fell face down onto the pavement, his cheek hitting the cold, wet floor, while his little arms were thrown down to the sides.
Heat rushed to his cheeks and he felt streaks of warm tears start to roam from the corner of his eyes, down the bridge of his nose and cheeks. The warm liquid was a stark contrast against the frigid fluid of the rain. His vision would blur and then re-adjust again, his breathing was becoming labored, triggering a string of pants. Heavy eyes shut close…he was so exhausted…every part of his young being told him to just lay there and sleep…
Not exactly knowing how long did he lay there, his eyes remained closed, until eventually, he heard the squishing sound of what he thought were footsteps approaching. At first they had been slow and unsure, as if assessing something, but then quickly turned into hurried stepping.
First he felt a looming presence over him, then a pair of big, calloused hands turned him to his side to then cradle him into a pair of big arms; One arm went under his shoulders, the other went over his thighs with a hand rested on his hip
"Oi, kid" he heard a gruff voice speak, belonging to that of a man. The boy wanted to speak and open his eyes, but he felt so weak. The man shook him in an attempt to wake him.
"Hey kiddo" the man called again, but the boy still couldn't open his eyes. The man shook him a little harder and tapped the boy's cheek with the pad of his fingers
"'Ey, wake up" The man's voice was becoming alarmed, finally the brunette boy found the strength to open his eyes, but only half way. It took his vision a small moment to adjust, when it did, he saw the figure of a man with very short, spiky blonde hair and a stubbed chin. The adult was looking at him with concerned blue eyes, giving him a once over and studying the wounds on the boys arms and legs. By his size, he deduced that the boy couldn't be older than seven, perhaps eight years of age.
"What happen' to ya?" The boy didn't answer, instead stared at him through half lidded, tired eyes. The man managed to catch a small glimpse of them and swore were colored slate. A distant voice in the man's head remarked that it was rare color indeed.
"What's yer name?" the man tried again, he hoped the boy could at least manage that. There was a pause before the young boy struggled to find his voice through quivering, purpling lips
"S-S-S…Sq…Squ-Squall" the boy managed to reply between a weak, barely audible whisper and shivers
"Squall?" the man tested and a feeble nod was all he could get in response. The man stood up, while still cradling the boy named Squall in his arms.
"Don't worry, I'm gonna help ya, 'k?" the man assured as he started to walk towards his pickup truck. As gently as he could, he placed Squall on the passenger seat. By touching Squall's forehead, the man was able to tell the boy had a fever, and a big one, the man cursed under his breath. The adult wrapped the boy with his parka jacket to keep him warm as much as possible. After securely strapping Squall, the adult closed the door and made his way to the driver's side and got into his truck, then drove off with the strange and weakened boy.
Several weeks (almost a month) had passed since Roxas had made his 'special request' to Leon. The days had served as quite the challenge for the gunblader. In order to help Cloud, Leon had to understand the aloof man which of course was already a task in its self. To achieve such thing, Leo had Cloud working with him a lot of the time not having to worry any longer for Cloud's fracture since it had completely healed.
Some days, Cloud seemed okay with having some conversation, though these were usually short and even a bit awkward since Cloud seemed to be fond of 'one lined responses'…Leon felt like he was being fed his own medicine: he admitted…it was rather annoying. These conversations would go something along the lines of:
"Good mornin' Cloud." Leon had said with a grin
"…Mornin'." Cloud had responded dryly not even looking at Leon
A moment of silence….
"So…how's everything?" Leon tried again
"It's fine" a flatter response than before, then another awkward silence surrounding them… Leon breathed in through his nose, a crooked smile forming out of his annoyance. Licking his lips and putting his hands on his hips, he tried yet again.
"How…are you feeling today?"
"…I'll live"
So much for courtesy…
That was it. Leon threw up his hands in the air in defeat. At that moment Leon was beginning to think that maybe, actually talking to walls was a good idea after all. The older simply walked away and busied himself with his work for the day…
But then there was other days, Cloud would be in the dourest and darkest of moods. The delivery man would simply tend to his duties and avoid everyone. Cloud would barely speak or look at anyone; he would refuse or turn down any invitation to eat lunch. It was on days like these that Leon would get almost overwhelmed by the other man's dark emotions. It was to a point that all other feelings from other people would become close to non-existent. Leon would use his powers to secretly absorb the negativity as much as he could hold, running the risk of tainting his own mood for doing so, which in a lot of cases, it did.
One particularly slow day, Leon had been in one of his occasional 'blank moods', as Yuffie had dubbed them. A day where the brunette would go into an involuntary shut down and would feel completely empty on the inside. He felt nothing. And it had been only a matter of time before he would start feeling sick and drained. An ill effect his powers had on him often and there was very little he could do about it. The only advantage was that no foreign emotion could try to overpower him; Leon could have a moment to his own, it was a shame that he couldn't feel even his own self…
That had been the case until he found Cloud in the office. Apparently the man had been sitting down, waiting for orders, eventually getting lost in his own thoughts.
Slowly, Cloud's pain worked its way into Leon and the brunette was defenceless against it. Usually, when another person's emotion got to Leon, it would leave no space for his own thoughts or sentiments. With Cloud however…he felt the man but he was also allowed to have his own insight… The surprise of Cloud's sadness not only overriding the ill effects of empathy but also not really engulfing Leon himself didn't last long as the sight really put a knot in Leon's chest.
Cloud's eyes had found his and for once Leon did not pick up the unsettledness the other would feel whenever that happened "Please…don't tell anyone…" There was vulnerability behind that plea. A man that was broken.
Leon had simply nodded, sat behind his desk, opposite to Cloud and simply offered the latter company in comforting silence. Cloud seemed to appreciate that.
In conclusion, Cloud had Leon thinking hard; sitting on the sofa in his living room, languidly resting his cheek on his fisted hand with a leg crossed over the other. He anxiously tapped the butt of his black pen on the scribbled mess that was the page of the open notebook which laid on this lap. The gunblader had attempted writing, (something he would do as a hobby or whenever he needed to think), while he mused on a plan on how to help Cloud with his wounded soul. But, like whatever thing Leon had been attempting to write, the ideas just died flat on his head.
Roxas had sure put him on quite a tough spot, but Leon was starting to grow quite fond of the kid and really wanted to help him out in whatever way he could. Although, there was also the fact that since Roxas and Sora have become very good friends, Sora would not let Leon hear the end of it….He sighed helplessly at the thought.
"Cloud…" he found himself saying out loud in reflective thought. At this point Leon was just making random doodles around the edges of his notebook.
"There's just so much hurt in your heart….how can I even approach you?..." Leon lifted his gaze to look at his cable box; at the blue digital numbers that marked the hour. Like many times before, he wondered what was it about Cloud that drew his attention so much. So much so, that he was currently in the middle of his living room, at eleven o' clock, thinking about the aloof -and nearly impossible to work with- man, even depriving Leon of his slumber.
"Perhaps, is it because he reminds me so much of…." Leon pulled his lips to the side wondering where that thought was coming from
'Myself?' his own mind finished for him. His conscious reminded him that he had acted in a similar way in the past…
So full of resentment. Anger. Hurt…how he used to shun others away from himself…even the people that cared for him…
Those were dark times for Leon…It had been a time were he not only had to deal with his own personal struggles, he also didn't know how to manage his powers and he ended up absorbing other people's emotions as well, especially, the negative ones. Leon felt like he had gotten trapped in a standstill. Locked in a dark and suffocating turmoil, lamenting aspects of life that he couldn't control…Maybe Cloud was feeling the same way? No. Leon knew that's what Cloud felt like…
The gunblader was having trouble admitting it, but he had noticed that he was more sensitive to picking up Cloud's emotions…too sensitive he would say…never had this happened with anyone, which was quite a statement given the extent of his so called gift.
'Maybe Sora is kinda right, but you're just too stubborn -and afraid- to notice it.' the little voice in his head spoke up again.
'Ooorrrr, maybe, I just feel a bit of kinship towards the guy and you're just over thinking this' said 'another' voice on his head, countering the first one.
Leon had barely noticed that a strange feeling had settled on his chest as his mind had a little debate with itself. He dismissed it, tiredly rubbed his eyes with the fingers of his right hand and then held the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed. Maybe he should just go, and at least attempt to get some rest.
As he was about to get up and head to his room, he felt a pressure in his chest. A trace of fear crawled into his heart, making it beat a bit faster. He frowned in thought. This fear was not his…
Griever, the lion head pendant that dangled from his chest felt….heavy and warm. He brought his hand up to grab it and as soon as he did, he heard a pleading whisper in his head. His eyes opened in realization taking him only a second to jump off the sofa and bolt towards Sora's room…
It was unusually cold in his surroundings, but the feel of the ambience around him felt very familiar… Sora's eyelids twitched as he slowly opened them to confirm his suspicions. As he sat up, he looked around him to see that he indeed had been laying on the cold, shallow, aqueous surface that reflected the sky that was above; soft clouds that leisurely sailed by, tinted with the pastel hues of pinks, blues and very subtle oranges. He felt light, free of any burden as he looked up above, the misty frigid breeze caressed his cheek with the gentleness of a warm embrace. Sora had closed his eyes for a little before he opened them again with a relived sigh…
'It's been a while since last time…' Sora got up, the soaked back of his sleeveless blue shirt and knee long, gray colored pajama pants, stuck to his tan skin and dripped.
For a while he stared blankly at the beaming warm horizon through half lidded eyes. Then he saw a ghostly orb of light gently float by, near his chest. He threaded his fingers through the misty tail of the orb and smiled.
"Well, you're certainly happy" he said through a light chuckle, then looked around and soon he was joined by many other floating orbs, some of which would approach Sora and would either playfully encircle him or pass through him which would cause a bit of a cold but ticklish feeling that would make him giggle.
"It's good to see you guys are happy" he told them.
Suddenly, a pang of sadness made his chest sink. Sora frowned bewildered as he brought up a hand to his beating heart. He searched the new found feeling and looked to the horizon once again, this time he felt an unnamed force trying to draw him in. Sora felt as if he was being called. The teen knitted his eyebrows as he pulled his lips to one side and started walking towards it. Some of the light orbs followed Sora, swirling around him ; his bare feet produced light watery sounds as he walked.
At some point, Sora arrived at a white wooden door. He stared at it for a few moments, whatever was 'calling', was behind that door. Sora slowly reached for the brass knob, turning it he clicked open the door and cautiously made his way in. The ghostly lights that had been trailing behind him, dispersed, following him no further.
The room Sora entered was clad in the blanket of darkness, he could vaguely make out that it seemed to be the interior of a house, perhaps an apartment. But it was void of any sort of furniture or belongings. The air there was dense and thick, filled with pain and grief; the weight of guilt was tugging hard at Sora even though he knew it was not his burden. The teen furrowed his eyebrows in worry and sadness as he encircled his arms around his torso to rub his own upper arms. Sora sauntered precariously down the hall towards a closed door at the end of it. That's where he was being drawn to.
The young Leonhart hesitantly let go of his arms to open the door to the next room. It was just as dark, but completely empty; save for the walls that composed the room and were only vaguely visible due to the small, frail light emitted from a orb, similar to the ones that were following Sora moments ago. The spectral sphere hovered weakly close to the floor in the middle of the room. A small gasp escaped Sora's mouth as he ran towards the sphere, kneeling right in front of it.
"You're hurting…" Sora stated sadly as he gently cupped his hands under the floating orb.
"Are you lost? You know you can't be here…" He asked and said as he brought the ghostly sphere up to chest level
"You're not sure? Then wha- Something's holding you back?" Sora raised an eyebrow quizzically
"Ohhh…You mean some-ONE…" Sora felt sympathy for the saddened soul
"I'm afraid…I can't help you with that. I don't have that kind of power…." Sora lamented
"My brother?..." Sora remained silent as he stared at the curious little orb that hovered in his hands.
"Heh. Yeah, he's kinda stubborn. He can feel hearts, but has trouble listening to them, he barely listens to his own sometimes." the teen smirked to himself
"Wait a minute…so those hints I've been seeing…it was you? Your were trying to reach him?... " Sora's eyes widened as he rose the spectre to face level
"Why him?" Sora wondered
"I see…Well, don't worry. I think I've seen it too…I'll keep pestering him" Sora grinned reassuringly.
The orb seemed to shine just a bit brighter at Sora's words and Sora smiled brightly.
But then, a sudden painful throb ran through Sora's chest, it as if a blade had pierced through him. The teen let out a sharp gasp, the orb floated out of his hands as he planted a hand on top of his chest. Sora hunched forward into a crawling position as the pain continued, his heart started to beat uncomfortably fast as his lungs suddenly seemed to get cut off of their air. Not long after, he fell limply on his side, the suffocating pain wouldn't let him move. The ghostly orb was frantically hovering above him as if it were in distress.
"It's…again?...have I been here…that long?" Sora asked himself between gasps and more whimpers.
He started to moan as he tried to contain protests of pain. From under his shirt's neck, Sora took his necklace. With a trembling hand he clenched the crown shaped charm and brought it close to his mouth and weakly whispered:
"Leonis animum, anima Griever" and that's all he could muster with his depleting strength.
Sora shuddered and closed his eyes, he felt as if there were hands gripping, and pulling him down…the teen wasn't sure of how long he kept his eyes closed. Opening them half way, he noticed that he was falling into a dark abyss. Fear was overriding him, but he still couldn't bring himself to move, he just kept falling and falling, further down. Dark voices were calling to him.
'Leonis…..Griever…please…' his mind tried to repeat the words again in a desperate, scared plea, willing it with his heart. He pressed the pendant to his chest. He closed his eyes and tears of pain and dread were forced out…
He thought this was his end…
A light shone through the abyss, vaguely through groggy eyes Sora made out the silhouette of a winged lion descending upon him. The young invoker reached out towards the familiar form, soon after he felt the warmth of its wings engulfing him….
Leon had stormed into Sora's room, giving a quick look around when his gaze fell on the motionless figure of Sora lying on his bed. The blankets were a tangled mess around the adolescent's legs. He ran towards his brother, and the first thing he noted was that Sora was soaked in sweat. The next thing he noted was that his younger brother's lips were a bit parted and that he was much too pale.
Leon cupped a hand on one side of Sora's head and placed the other on the teen's chest and muttered a spell. That's when he noticed that Sora wasn't breathing.
"Sor!...Sora!" Leon shouted desperately, his voice cracked as he felt panic swell his chest. He held his little brother's head with one cupped hand, while his other hand was still firmly pressed on top of Sora's chest, with the healing spell.
Leon pressed his forehead to Sora's, closing eyes in concentration focusing his energy on his chest and hands "Don't do this to me, Sora…" Leon kept calling Sora's name over and over. He wondered why was this happening again, an old fear resurfaced devouring every fiber of his being... Suddenly, Sora took a very deep, very desperate gasp like breath for air.
Leon lifted his head and cupped both sides of Sora's head, eyeing him worriedly. The teen let out a string of harsh, raspy coughs, mixed with deep intakes of breath and wheezes.
"Le-Le-on" Sora managed to squeak out, his voice agonized with pain and utter fear. The teen desperately clung to his older brother's white v-neck shirt with shaky hands. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes.
"Yes, it's me. I'm here. You're back…" Leon re-assured in a haste. For a moment Sora's eyes rolled back but Leon shook the teen's head a bit.
"No, Sor, stay with me. I'm gonna take you to the hospital" Leon assured, as he gathered Sora into his arms. Leon was fighting hard to keep his composure and a level head, feeling both his own fear and Sora's fear was painfully piercing his own heart.
The teen panted, still looking frightened and weak, rivers of sweat still trailed down his paled face. Sora's eyes looked disoriented and unfocused. The wheezing on his breathing only got worse. Leon cursed under his breath as made a run for it to the car…
The next day had rolled in and the crew on the Highwind shop had a busy day as usual. Thanks to this, it had passed rather quickly for everyone. Although, there had been one thing however, that had left everyone bewildered and with a foreboding feeling.
"I wonder what happened to Squally…It's not usual for him to not just show up to work" Yuffie pointed out worriedly as she leaned on the counter with her face rested on her hand.
"Do you think that he and Sora might've had to fight off some spirits?" Aerith suggested with just as an equally worried tone.
"Wouldn't he have called you guys?" Roxas inquired crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side.
The conversation between them continued, Cid whom had remained silent just stood there listening to all of it. He leaned against the corner of the L-shaped counter with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, impatiently drumming his fingers against the border of the counter top and anxiously shook one of his legs. One of the things that defined Leon was his strict sense of responsibility. For him to not have shown up for work or even call in, something serious must have been going on. Despite his gruff and grumpy exterior, Cid cared for all of them…the worry and anxiety was eating away at his patience and he felt like he was going to chew the cigarette because of it.
Cloud had just arrived from his last delivery for the day and had come in through the garage. As soon as he entered the shop, he looked to his left; to look at his anxious employer. Cloud had never really seen Cid this tense, it actually unsettled him. Just when he was about to attempt and ask Cid what was wrong…
RING RING
Rang the phone that was attached to the wall, near to the garage door's frame. It caught everyone's attention, specially Cid's, whom in a quick movement turned to answer it.
"Hello?!" Cid greeted in an harsh but concerned shout, totally forgetting about formalities and the greeting line they would all use to answer the phone, it was as if Cid knew (and hoped) that it was Leon the one who was calling.
Apprehensive silence filled the room.
"Leon?! 'bout damn time! U had me worr-" it seemed as if Leon had cut him off.
"What?! when?!" Cid shouted into the phone, looking at it for a short moment before placing it back on his ear. There was another brief moment of silence.
"'K. I'm on tha way" Cid wasted no time on hanging up the phone with a little force. He turned around, whipping his head to his sides, front, back…his pupils frantically mirrored his movements.
"Um, Cid…is everything ok?" Aerith asked clasping her hands together, the question was formed softly and full with concern.
"Da hell is my jacket?!" Cid demanded in way that was more of a question for himself than for any of the others around him.
"Hey gramps, what's the matter?" Yuffie tried this time, only, her tone was bit more firm to catch the man's attention, whom was making his way to the garage. It seemed he remembered that he usually left his jacket inside of his pick-up truck. Cloud watched as whatever Leon had told Cid was putting the man in a uncharacteristic nervous state, causing Cid not to notice when the girls had talked to him.
Throughout the day, Cloud had found himself wondering where Leon and Sora (especially Leon), had been. It had felt…weird, not having Leon's soothing presence around…Cloud even dared admitting that he had actually missed the Leonharts; he too wanted to know what happened to them.
"Hey Cid!" called Cloud in a commanding shout, much to everyone's surprise. He, whom was the current quiet enigma of the shop.
All of them, directed their gazes at Cloud, Cid included. The young man wasted no time in making his question
"What happened?" his tone was stern, but it was just to mask the concern that bubbled in his gut. Though his 'mask' seemed to have done the trick to alleviate some of the older man's nerves. At least enough to spawn a response from Cid
"Sora's been hospitalized"
"What?! Hospitalized?! Why?" Roxas asked with clear concern written all over him, the last question almost came out as a squeak as he jumped over the counter.
"No time to explain. I'm headin' to Garden Hope Hospital. Now. Stay, close the shop, do whichever ya want." Cid turned as he walked out to the garage.
"I guess we can close….there's no customers and we're only an hour away from closing….I'm worried about Sora…" Aerith spoke dejectedly clasping her hands together again.
"Whatever, I'm goin'" Yuffie stated as she made her way out of the checkout counter and followed after Cid
Aerith stood in place for a bit with a dejected look on her face, her head was bent down a little, clearly debating as to what she should do. She was very worried about Sora, but she didn't want to leave the whole load to Cloud. The blonde man looked at her and felt sympathy for the woman.
"Um…Aerith…" he started
"Oh! yes Cloud?" she said trying to mask her worry.
"Why…don't you go? Me and Roxas can close the shop" Cloud offered and almost immediately he received a beaming smile from her.
"Really? but Cloud I-"
"It's fine Aerith, we can take care of it" Roxas assured her, though he himself was anxious and very worried.
Aerith looked from Roxas to Cloud, whom simply nodded with a casual look on his face. Aerith hugged and thanked them before she left. Cloud then proceeded to do everything that had to be done to close the shop. Roxas of course, helped with the closing, but maintained some distance and would only exchange words with his brother if he had questions regarding the tasks at hand. Things had not improved between them and there were days where they wouldn't even talk. The adolescent kept a broody face and a flat tone. Cloud, paid it no mind, he considered that he was too busy to deal with Roxas' attitude at the moment.
It took the brothers a while to properly clear everything, but once done they closed everything and were getting prepared to mount Cloud's bike and leave. The older brother stared at his helmet, debating whether he should go and not only visit Sora, but check up on how Leon was doing. From how Cid had reacted, it must be something rather serious; he admitted he was worried, but he also felt a bit out of place. From what he understood, everyone in the shop had known each other for a very long time, he and Roxas were just 'new additions'. Cloud felt like they had no part in anything. Yet despite that…
"Cloud…" came Roxas' small, hesitant voice from behind Cloud.
The older Strife looked at the younger with a cocked eyebrow and studied the other's posture: Roxas had his head slightly bent down while rubbing one of his arms. The look on his face was one of concern with a trace of frustration. Cloud instantly knew what was going through the teen's head.
"What is it Roxas?"
"I-I…I want to visit Sora." the demand had started shy and unsure, but was finished in a steadfast request
Cloud kept his gaze fixed on Roxas, mulling over the idea. Roxas stared back at Cloud anxiously awaiting the reply
"Get on" was all Cloud said, though the words were uttered in a passive way. There were meant to let Roxas know that they would go to the hospital, and the intent was not lost. Both brothers got on the bike and rode off to Hope Garden Hospital.
Cid and the girls had come over, but Sora was not awake. Aerith and Yuffie had stook around for while, before they left. Both making sure that Sora had been stabilized and that Leon would let them know when Sora woke up so they could come visit. Cid had decided to keep Leon company, but had gone out to smoke a much needed cigarette…or maybe a few.
Leon sat on the chair next to the hospital bed, his elbows were rested upon the cushioned surface with a fisted hand clasped under the other. His lips pressed against the aforementioned, the tired eyes studying the sleeping form in front of them. They momentarily drifted up to the monitor that read Sora's heart beat, silently judging the green line that went up and then down again, forming sharp thin triangles. And that annoying beeping sound...the hissing and humming of the other machines…that distinct and overwhelming scent of alcohol…medicine and sterile disinfectant only hospitals harbored…It all only served to put the man at unease, causing a heavy sinking feeling right in the middle of his chest.
His mind couldn't help but travel back to the conversation he had with Cid shortly after the girls had left…
Cid pulled Leon out of the room and stood in the hall. The younger man had been preparing himself for this conversation, he knew the old man well…he couldn't really blame him for his concern, however.
"So…" Cid drawled the word just a bit, he didn't need to finish the question
"….he must have been Invoking again…" Leon said dejectedly with his hands in his pockets while narrowing his eyes at the floor.
"Must've?" Cid scratched his head at Leon's use of words
"I haven't talked to him about it….he didn't seem to have done it willingly, it must have happened during his sleep…"
"how long it's been since it last happened?"
"Quite some time…probably a month or so..."the younger man took his hand out of his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest in thought.
"What's…his diagnosis?"Cid's tone was low. The fear of losing Sora ever looming over their heads.
"….it's uncertain…all they say is that his heart is getting weaker…."
"Aren't the treatments workin'?"
"They are….but this is going beyond just physical issues, Cid…" Leon lowered his arms to his sides, he clenched his fists so hard that his hands trembled. The anguish in Leon's usually calm tone was not lost to Cid's ears. There was a moment of silence between them, both men took in the depth of the situation. Cid thought hard of he could say to comfort Leon…but what was there to say? He couldn't guarantee anything and Leon wasn't one for taking false promises lightly…
"I almost lost him again Cid….I'm losing him." words came out of quivering lips in the form of a distraught whimper, which was followed by a sniffle.
Leon pressed the back of his fist against his mouth, closed his eyes in a frown to try and compose himself. The burning in his eyes didn't cease, so he opened them again and looked at the ceiling with a pleading face. Placing his hands on his hips, he looked away from Cid; a pointless effort to hide the welling tears in his eyes.
It moved Cid's heart to see Leon in such a defeated and vulnerable state. The older man moved towards him and pulled Leon into a one armed embrace, firmly patting the other's back in encouragement.
"I don't know what to do…." Leon whimpered again, then sniffled while trying hard to hold back some of his tears as much as he could.
"It's a'right…" at that moment Cid was reminded when he had first found Leon as a boy. Vulnerable, lost and hurt both physically and emotionally. It also brought the memories of Leon's rough and deeply conflicted teenage-hood and how hard it was for Leon to get out of that dark place…
It always unsettled Cid seeing Leon like this, he had raised the man like a son after all.
Leon let out a silent sigh that heaved his shoulders, as he looked back at Sora's sleeping face. He let one of his hands travel to the side of his little brother's head, his thumb tenderly brushed against Sora's temple. Almost instantly the teen stirred with his eyes still closed, slightly shaking his head to one side before leaning a bit more into Leon's hand. Sora's eyebrows furrowed upwards in what seemed to be a bit of discomfort, and Leon saw him swallow hard.
" 'and is col'" the remark was a frail, gravelly mumble.
"Sor?" Leon leaned a bit forward closer to him, relief started to make his heart flip. Sora opened his eyes mid way shortly after Leon called him by his nickname.
"Your… hand…is…cold" Sora mumbled again, a little more coherent this time. But his voice remained low and a bit gravelly from sleep. From his peripheral vision, Leon noted how purple his own nails had turned; Leon actually wished he had some gloves for his freezing hands…he let a half smile adorn his face.
"I've been worrying my ass off, sitting here in freezing cold, deprived from sleep and what's the first thing you do: complain about my hand being cold." Leon chided in jest.
"You… know I… hate it….the cold…" Sora grinned weakly for a short moment, barely showing his teeth. His grin then quickly turned into a apologetic and dispirited face.
"'orry…'m… sorry bro" Sora said pleadingly looking up at his big brother.
"Sorry? For what?"
"I…Invoked…I…didn't mean it…" the apology trailed off into a soft whimper.
Leon shook his head and while petting Sora's head, in a gentle, understanding tone he responded "It's ok little brother."
Sora's lips turned further down as his pupils turned glossy and his eyes narrowed.
"I wa-….was…scared…they were…pulling me…back…" Sora gaped in an attempt to say more, but the words just couldn't come out. Still, Leon understood and he shook his head gently.
"Shh, it's ok…I know. I heard you call. But you're safe now, ok? We'll talk about it when you feel better" Leon said calmly, to which Sora nodded.
Not long after, there was a knock on the door and the two brothers looked at it.
"Mr. Leonhart, there are people requesting to see Sora"
"Hm? Who?"
"They identified as Cloud and Roxas Strife, sir. You know them?"
"Cloud?" Leon opened his eyes in surprise
"Roxas is here?" Sora got excited, but was not able to fully convey it due to his weakened state.
"Yes. Shall I let them pass?"
"Oh. Uh, yea. Yea, sure" Leon responded, still trying to get over his surprise.
The nurse gave a curt nod and left to fetch the visitors in question. When the Strife brothers arrived, Sora, had he the strength he would have jumped off the bed and tackle Roxas into a hug. However, it had been quite heart-warming for both Leon and Cloud to see how the two teens greeted each other as if they were brothers. Roxas being ever so careful not to harm Sora or get tangled with any of the tubes or cables that surrounded the sickly teen.
As for Cloud, it had been unsettling to see Sora so frail, more than he thought it would be. But of course there was also relief when Cloud saw that Sora was at least awake and was well enough to get excited from seeing Roxas.
When it came to seeing Leon, it had been a bit heartbreaking for Cloud…Even though he had only met Leon for almost a month, Cloud hadn't seen Leon so…vulnerable. There was black spots under Leon's eyes, but they also looked a bit swollen and red…had he been crying? Leon…whom looked so composed and collected. Wise. Unfazed. Someone who always kept a level head and would tackle every situation with diligence and a calculative mind…And always had this soothing, and leader-like presence around him…Cloud really couldn't help but feel bad for the gunblader. That look didn't really suit him at all.
Then again….it was the man's younger brother that had been hospitalized…
At some point, Cid had returned from smoking and entered the room. The middle aged man was glad to see that Cloud had decided to drop by. Mainly because, both Cid and Sora had tried to convince Leon to go back to the house so he could rest for a little and take a shower…but they didn't want Leon driving in a drowsy state however, so Cloud, became their saving grace and designated driver. Cloud had initially felt uncertain of the idea, but he also couldn't really find it in himself to refuse or to even get mad; Leon had saved his life and had also taken upon himself to make sure Cloud was healing properly afterwards. If anything, Cloud felt it's the least he could do for the man as a token of gratitude…
After quite a great deal of gruelling minutes trying to coax Leon, the latter had finally conceded under the one claim that he would only take a quick shower, a quick nap and would be back in no time. Roxas volunteered to keep both Cid and Sora company until their return. Cloud agreed, albeit with just a tinge of reluctance.
Both men got to Leon's car. The ride was mostly wrapped in silence, Leon would only speak to Cloud to tell him where to turn or where to keep going straight.
Cloud stole a glance out of the corner of his eye: Leon rested his head against the window of the passenger door as his arms where neatly folded over his chest. The man had his eyes closed, and Cloud watched the slow steady rhythm of the broad chest rising up and down. If it wasn't because he had to pay attention to the road, he wouldn't have been able to look away…More and more he noticed that the man was very attractive; the brunette man was a thief that kept stealing Cloud's gaze. Though of course, each time anything like that would happen, an uncomfortable, ugly guilt would make Cloud's stomach turn and his head would pound heavily…He would either look, or just feel the ring around his finger…Cloud felt dirty, like if he was cheating…He felt like he was disrespecting Zack….Zack, whom always lingered in both his mind and heart. Cloud would try to swallow past the lump in his throat, while trying to quiet his rapidly changing emotions reminding himself that Leon could pick up on whatever he was feeling…
'Perhaps you should try talking…to him?' some inner voice in Cloud's head told him
'But that would be ridiculous…what do I even say to him?' Cloud spat back at his own conscious. The feeling of wanting to some way help Leon clung to him. Cloud felt like if owed it to him and quite frankly, he hadn't liked seeing Leon like that…
'But how could I help someone else when I can't even help myself?...I'm useless…'
In the midst of his berating thoughts, Cloud didn't notice when he kept stealing glances or just stare at the sleeping gunblader whenever they stopped at a red light…
"You have something to say Strife?" Leon spoke suddenly while he still had his eyes closed.
Cloud nearly jumped, startled he stammered. "N-n-No. I-I was jus-just….thinking…"
"Mm. I know you were. I can practically feel your thoughts"
There, Cloud pulled his lips to the side squinting his eyes "No you can't"
"You'd be surprised how much your feelings can say about you. And I work with you everyday so, yea."
"You know, your whole empath thing can get reeeaallyy annoying sometimes"
"That, I have felt from you too"
Cloud rolled his eyes shaking his head a little.
Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, the delivery man stayed quiet for a few moments…For whatever reason he felt the strange urge to talk to his companion. Looking for something to talk about, Cloud bit his lower lip, why was he feeling so chatty? Out of the blue, a question popped into Cloud's head and perhaps it wasn't the best moment to prod, but Cloud wagered that it was better than sitting through a whole awkward silent car ride. He really couldn't think of anything else.
"Sooo, um….how long have you…known Cid?"
Leon opened his eyes though he remained in the same relaxed position. "Years." he did a quick math inside his mind "Nineteen, to be exact"
"That long?" Cloud frowned thoughtfully "How old are you again?"
"Twenty Six"
Cloud drummed fingers as counted them, calculating under his breath "You know him since you were seven?"
"Correct. Though to be more accurate; I was found by Cid when I was seven." Leon spared his temporary chauffeur a normal look. Cloud's eyebrows shot up a little, though the movement had been so slight, Leon almost missed it. What he didn't miss however was the curious demeanor Cloud was giving off.
"'Found'?" the blonde repeated, making sure he heard right.
Leon shifted a little in his seat then licked his lips, the topic was not one he was expecting. However, he was not really the slightest bit bothered by the thought of sharing some of his past with Cloud. As soon as he opened his mouth the words just simply poured out of him.
"I….had been raised in an orphanage, never knew my parents. I was in the orphanage until that age, because that was when…I discovered I was an 'Invoker'. It had been an accident; I was having a dispute with another of the kids because he just wouldn't let me be. He attacked me first and the next thing I know, I had completely frozen one of his arms. Of course, I was then shunned and out casted like a 'Freak'. The orphanage considered me a menace so they sent me to a foster home, but it wasn't long before they too, tried to get rid of me. I was beaten and kicked out of the last home I had gone to. I don't remember how long I spent on the streets until I arrived here one day to be found by Cid. He already had two girls under his care: One that was my same age, while the other was just a bit younger than me…"
"Aerith and Yuffie." Cloud filled in for him, receiving a confirming nod from the older man.
"They didn't mind that I was a Heartinvoker. They accepted me with open arms and well, here I am."
"Wait…but…if it's like that, then…What about…Sora?"
"…We're not really brothers. Biologically speaking, that is"
"You're not?!" Cloud exclaimed, nearly shouting, a man that was careful not to show much of his emotions had his face completely written with shock.
"Is it really that shocking?" Leon chuckled, seeing Cloud conveying emotions that were not gloomy, openly was a rare but nice treat.
"Well of course it is! I mean…you guys kinda…look alike, the hair. The eyes, sort of. And well, he has your last name…You easily pass off as brothers."
"I gave him my last name when I took him in as my younger brother…You see, much like me, he was found by Cid… AND me. I was sixteen by then and Sora was five…But unlike me, he didn't have any idea where he came from or who he was…"
"….Really?...No idea…at all?" Cloud had used his more usual soft tone, but the awe was still evident in his distraught expression. He thought that he never would've guessed what Leon was telling him.
"No. He didn't even knew if he had a name…" Leon's tone had turned a bit sad at those words.
"Sooo, I'm guessing you guys gave him his name…who gave it to him?" The sad tone in Leon's voice had not been overlooked. Cloud hoped that this question would be a little bit more light hearted.
"I did…although…It had been just a wild thought and Sora had seemed to like it…So the name stuck" Leon hummed shortly after with a fond smile at the memory.
The fondness he found on his passenger made Cloud's thoughts drift towards Roxas…There had been a time when they had been very close too…but now…
Bad thoughts started to creep in summoning forth the tormenting feelings that plagued Cloud. Leon immediately caught them.
"You ok, Strife?"
"Huh?"
Leon just gave him a knowing look. Cloud shook his head and said:
"Please…continue. Pay me no mind."
"You sure?"
"You should be used to my 'mood swings', as Yuffie calls them, by now" Cloud said dismissively. Leon was always worrying about others, and tonight the man had enough in his plate; that was the way Cloud was seeing it.
Leon cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.
"So you found Sora aaaannnnd?" Cloud was closing himself off again, desperately wanting to shift the attention back to Leon.
Leon couldn't force the other to talk, but his acute intuition told him that Cloud would open up eventually…albeit hesitantly, Leon continued with his tale.
"Even at the age five Sora exhibited abilities as an Heartinvoker, but that's all there was to him." Leon continued, Cloud pushed his thoughts aside and continued to listen.
"Even to this day, he still doesn't know where he came from, but to us it doesn't matter. In my book he is my younger brother…He's Sora Leonhart, and I would turn this world upside down for him…" There was the slightest crack in Leon's voice and for a moment Cloud swore he saw a gloss in the other's eyes.
"What…happened last night? If you don't mind me asking…that is…"
"…Sora…he can…cross over to the other plane, and talk to hearts"
"'Other plane'? You mean…the afterlife?"
"More or less. His abilities are a bit different than mine. While I can sense, absorb, possibly share and actually feel the emotions of other living beings…Sora sees into hearts, can communicate with them…whether they are alive…or dead. Even among Heartinvokers, people like Sora are rare…Invokers like Sora are the ones that help the lost hearts of the deceased find the way to the afterlife…But such power has dire risks, such as causing them to remain trapped on the other side or cause actual physical harm…In Sora's case…it usually takes a toll on his 'physical' heart…It makes him very sick. I've tried to keep Sora's powers at bay because of that. But…It seems…there's only so much I can do…" Leon trailed off into a dour mumble, bending his head in defeat. The prospect of losing Sora scraping him with claws that engraved fear and helplessness into his very being.
Cloud griped the steering wheel just a bit tighter as he could feel for the brunette man. Losing someone so special…was something Cloud wouldn't wish upon anyone, he was all too familiar with that sort of pain. Cloud breathed in, then stretched out his arm to place a comforting hand on Leon's shoulder.
Leon was taken aback, he looked into Cloud's eyes…
Not that he considered Cloud an emotionless or insensitive monster, but even at that moment Cloud was being a, difficult to read, enigma. Cloud: the man that was having a battle with a depression that threatened him with darkness. Cloud, whom often acted aloof….Yet, here he was…being compassionate and offering Leon some sort of comfort, in his own way…Leon really appreciated the gesture, it had been endearing to see Cloud try…
The small glimpse of kindness shone through the dark haze Leon would picture when he felt Cloud's heart. Through the clear blue and subtle green, Leon could feel the gentle heart that laid beneath that turmoil…
'He truly does have a kind heart….it just needs some mending…' Leon mused with a small, warm smile.
"Thanks Strife."
That smile. There it was again, making Cloud want to smile…The Strife bashfully looked away from Leon's cool slates with a light wrinkling of brows in a shy frown. He didn't consider he was the best person to offer any sort of meaningful comfort, let alone be thanked for it. It just really wasn't right in his eyes, seeing Leon like that. Cloud cleared his throat and said:
"Well…Sora seemed to be feeling better. I think he'll be ok. It's like that poster says: "Just hang in there"
Leon had been looking ahead of him, he frowned trying to think about what poster Cloud was referring to…it sounded familiar…
"Poster?...you mean the poster that has a kitten hanging on to a pole and says 'hang in there'?" Leon slowly turned to look at Cloud with questioning look, his lips slightly turned up at the corners in the beginnings of a smile.
"…..yea….that poster…." Cloud felt incredibly stupid and childish, the small heat settling on his neck and cheeks told him so. Just where in Gaia's name did he think about using such a silly thing as an example. Really, he could just jump off the car at that very moment.
To his surprise, the older man stared at him shortly, before he let out a snort. Leon hid his eyes behind one hand as he tried not to laugh too hard at Cloud's momentary innocence. However the laughter that left Leon's chest made Cloud feel…good. It was a genuine, full-fledged feeling, so unlike the momentary fragments he would get now and again…Yes, Cloud felt good, for both Leon and himself.
"You're terrible at this aren't you?" Leon asked with a helpless smile, referring to Cloud's awkward way of 'cheering' people up: First asking about one's past, then pointing towards an old, random poster most people wouldn't probably remember. Leon removed his hand from his face, composing himself.
"I…made you laugh….don't I get points for that?" Cloud countered, suddenly feeling cheeky but immediately questioning where said feeling was coming from. He frowned in bewilderment to himself.
"Hm. I guess you do…I'll invite you to a drink or lunch sometime for that then" Leon said as he settled his head back against the window again.
The rest of the ride was silent. Yet the air between felt pretty light; calm and pleasant. They did not exchange looks, but both had a small smile on their faces.
Cloud felt pretty good despite himself, it then that he really noted that he has grown quite fond of the man beside him. Sure, there were some things that still irked him (like the occasional teasing), but overall Cloud could not deny that as of late, he started noticing how slightly better he felt when around the gunblader.
Leon had been surprised by the younger man, in more ways than one. He was grateful and he wanted to see more about that wonderful heart he had had just a glimpse of…But Leon had his work cut out for him, Cloud's heart needed to escape the haze that shrouded it. He had not felt so resolute, so set on helping someone, like he was at that moment. Leon decided on diligence, he felt like finally, he was getting a bit closer to Cloud.
While Leon and Cloud were off having some bonding time, Roxas sat on the bed, right beside Sora's blanket clad legs. It was so strange to see the energetic Sora down on that bed: his skin robbed of its usual tan, eyes were shuttered from tiredness, the energetic aura Sora usually radiated was significantly dim. It tugged at Roxas' chest…he didn't like seeing Sora like that at all…it didn't suit him.
"So…Roxas. How are things… with you and Cloud?" Sora wondered, he was uncertain of making the question. Before the blonde teen answered, the feel of the room darkened a bit. Piercing shards of anger shredded the air; sadness gloomed Sora's heart.
"….We don't talk much…Cloud seems so…distant…most of the time." Roxas entwined his hands to have his thumbs fiddle with each other. Sora gave a disheartened sigh when he saw his friend's gloomy expression.
"Did you…guys…fight again?"
"What else is new…" a scoff
"Rox…have you tried talking? You know, letting him know what you feel"
"Talking…is precisely what always makes us fight. He just keeps shutting me away…he's always angry or sad…he never listens to me. I can't tell him what I think or how I feel if he doesn't care…"
"Aw Roxas…come on. Why would you think that?"
Roxas ducked his head with that same dispirited forlorn look that Sora had seen on their previous conversation about the subject. The young Strife remained quiet, building up a tenseness on Sora's shoulders and adding anxiety to the already heavy aura on the room. Sora gave another discouraged sigh, emphasized by his slumped shoulders. The older teen had looked down at the IV in his arm frustrated that he had no clue as to what to say to Roxas.
Then Roxas said something. It was barely a berating whisper. Sora didn't catch it, he slowly lifted his gaze back to Roxas
"What?" Sora asked with a quizzical frown
"It's was my fault…I can't do anything for him…" Sora's face was morphing into a worried look as he straightened his back, briefly wincing from the pain in his muscles.
"What was your fault?" Sora tried as he heard that Roxas kept mumbling, apparently going into an absent minded ramble.
"Roxas?" the older teen tried again, putting a hand on Roxas' shoulder giving it a light squeeze. Not only was Sora worried, but the strange behavior was frightening. Roxas pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as he clenched his teeth.
"Hey…talk to me, man" Sora pleaded softly despite the pressuring concern that grappled his chest
"I think he hates me…" the last of Roxas' words were despondent, it shook Sora's understanding nature to it's very core.
Silence invaded the room, replaced with the hums and buzzes of hospital equipment as Sora swallowed hard trying to follow up that statement, desperately.
"uh.. Rox.. as.. I'm sure he doesn't.. " Sora's voice trailed off unsure of if that's what the young strife needed to hear. With his hand still on the blonde teen's shoulder, Sora could feel Roxas' shoulder muscles tense at the mention along with a wave of negative swirling emotions. Roxas clenched his fist and gritted his teeth as there was a battle unfolding in both heart and mind.
"..."
"Roxas..?" Sora asked almost pleading, not knowing if it was his place to say such a thing.
"..."
Sora grew more desperate in his attempt to lift the dark fog clouding the room. In such desperate attempts, he quickly blurted out the first positive thing he had seen the Strifes do.
"..Like.. You know! At the store? You guys work together and talk right..?" Sora tried, working hard against the unsure smile that curved his lips.
Only a tinge of anger, aggression and even a little desperation assaulted Sora suddenly. It was all coming from his friend…
Roxas attempted to speak and clear the knot in his throat but couldn't.
"Roxas..?" Sora called tentatively.
Roxas turned to look at Sora with a distant look in his eyes and spoke with venom in his voice
"The shop..? Do we look happy to you? Heh.." Roxas scoffed while shaking his head
In truth, Sora couldn't really remember many positive instances between the two brothers…When he thought about it, Roxas spent more time with him or any of the others at the shop…but not with Cloud….Sora's heart sank at the thought, especially when he unconsciously compared their relationship to his own relationship with Leon.
A moment of silence.
"You know…I envy you and Leon a little bit…." the confession had been hard to make, spoken with longing…so much contained hurt. A few tears streamed down and a snivel that securely held many emotions.
Without knowing the 'proper' words to day, carefully, Sora managed to sit on the edge of the bed. He coaxed a hesitant Roxas to scoot closer to him so Sora could place a comforting arm on the younger teen's shoulders. Sora rubbed Roxas' upper arm while both teens just simply looked at the white floor.
It seemed that even in his previous rambling, Roxas' mind was able to recall that Sora had asked what Roxas blamed himself for. He answered:
"When we were little….It's my fault that he got hurt so badly….so many things Sora.." Roxas turned a pained and sad expression towards Sora whose expression softened and he nodded for Roxas to continue with the story that he apparently had to tell….
A Heart's Passage:
This darkness…it is so suffocating…I'm wondering aimlessly, the voices sneer at me. They love to remind me of all of my mistakes….They show me what I left behind…..
I feel myself grow weaker every day. The pain. The guilt. I feel lost…I want to go back. I miss him…I'm hurting him so much…I hurt him too much…and now he's hurting Roxas as well….
My actions have ripped them both apart…
The eternal limbo that's my world now, it is always dark….cold…void….but today….there's something different: I feel something coming…that energy is so warm….so welcoming….
This young Heartinvoker….I've seen him….
He sees my hurt with such ease…I feel the need to speak to him:
"No….I don't think I'm lost….I know I shouldn't be here….But I can't help it….Something is holding me back"
"Or rather…someone is holding me back…I need to help him….he needs another heart to heal his…can you help me?..."
"Heh….what a nice kid, you remind me a bit of Roxas. But I meant your brother. I followed the light of his heart and it was somehow calling out to Cloud's…but it seems that, he's afraid of listening to his heart…I thought that maybe their lights could be joined…."
"I've been trying to reach him, to see if he really is the light Cloud needs…."
"I was sorta lead to him…I don't know…his soul just seemed to be calling out and it drew Cloud's in….."
With a assuring grin, the boy told me that he would try to help me…I'm so relieved to hear this…The boy suddenly bends over in pain, he's firmly pressing a hand to his chest.
He falls to one side…He looks like he's in terrible pain. I float over him, I'm trying to see if I can do anything….despite my current 'condition' there has to be something I can do….
"What's going on?!" I try to ask him…but he can't reply
Before I can think of anything, the boy closes his eyes and he gets engulfed by a dark puddle that formed underneath him….and he's gone….I wonder if he'll be okay…I wonder if he was called back to the world of the living…I certainly hope so….
However…I am left alone once again…will my wandering ever end? I'm so tired…
I can hear them calling…those dark voices again….
Please Cloud…please forgive yourself…forgive me…you need to do this….for both our sakes….
A/n: The way this chapter came about was rather...interesting. It is literally a set of previously written 'draft' scenes that I just sorta connected together with the help of my 'editor' (my friend, lol). I wanted this chap to be a bit Leon and Sora centered, since I've been giving a lot of attention to our dear Strife brothers.
As a side note: I use a lot the word 'slate' to describe Leon's eyes, jjuusssstttt in case there's any confusion, slate is a blue-ish gray color. (the more you know XD)