Chapter 7

Apov

"Grace, you are more than welcome to bring Mia with you if she wants." She opens and closes her mouth like a fish and nods in acceptance. She leaves as I get butterflies but I feel if I get through this I know I can face anything.

As I am applying my concealer to my scar I hear the door open and I suck in a huge breath. I see Grace walking forward and a beautiful young woman about my age behind her. Here we go I can do this I repeat to myself as I push my feelings into the back of my mind.

"Ana this is my daughter Mia Grey, one of your biggest fans. Mia this is Anastasia Steele." Grace introduces us as she all but pulls Mia from behind her.

"Mia so nice to meet you again, I know our first introduction was not under ideal circumstances." I tell her as I know deep inside she didn't mean it and I know she is sorry. Every girl at the age just wants to be accepted and I understand it to a point.

"Ana I am so so very sorry for what I participated in six years ago. You have to believe I honestly did not want to participate. I was so lonely having no friends I just wanted to feel included. I didn't know what was going on until it was too late. Please forgive me I am telling the honest truth, I am so ashamed of myself." She all but rambles out and bursts into tears.

"Mia I forgive you I know it's easier said than done. I knew you never wanted to participate and I understand wanting to feel wanted or that you belong somewhere. I truly do forgive you but it will take time to forget if ever."

"Thank you and I will earn your trust I promise. I love your music it is so inspirational. My bother Christian loves your music and I secretly think he has a crush on you." She all but giggles out and I giggle.

"Thank you I try and use my music to reach others out there. I know I need to become more outspoken with press and media and I think after tonight I will be. I will use my gift to help reach those in need as inspiration and motivation. I want my music to reach those souls that need it the most." I tell her as I look to Grace. She nods her head to me. I honestly could see her as a mother as I feel so open to talk with her.

"Ana, we need to get back out there but my family and I would love if you joined us for breakfast. Your security and band members are welcome to join." Grace asks me and for once I am going to say yes.

"Grace I would love to; it will be just Sawyer and me. My band members are heading out after the performance tonight to Nashville. We have a month off before I need to return to Nashville to record my new album and start planning my tour for the summer. I will need to get Sawyer a room for the night though. I sleep in here alone and he usually sleeps in the other motorhome with the band and crew."

"No need dear we have a guest house he is welcome too." I nod in acceptance and text Sawyer the change in plans as they leave. Sawyer is fine with it as he says that is where his army friend Taylor is staying. I look to the clock and realize I have forty-five minutes before I need to be ready. I will not be late and have never been late. I sweep my hair to the side and let the curls drape over my shoulder with a diamond hair clip. I throw on my mascara and I am good to go.

Molly comes in as I am zipping my dress and I love this dress as it is perfect. It is sexy but also makes a statement.

"Miss Steele, you look gorgeous I will let the designer know you would like more gowns. Do you have your speech ready?" I hand it to her as she reads it quickly and nods in approval. There are things in that speech that no one knows. Grace is right I need to let the world know so they can see I have overcome so much. I have a gift and I need to use it to my fullest.

Molly opens the door and I step down as Sawyer is there waiting and the crowd is loud as I am almost blinded by the flashing lights. I have never performed for a private fundraiser let alone in the state of Washington. This is a new adventure and the media is relentless as they are screaming questions. I ignore most of them as I can't hear most of what they ask. I answer what I can hear about my upcoming album. They are asking questions if there will be a concert in Seattle in the future. I just respond dates are still being scheduled. Other mundane questions are who I am wearing and if I'm single. I tell them the answers they want to hear until one question is asked and surprises but pisses me off a little.

"Miss Steele why are you performing for this charity when you have never done so before." I glare before I can respond. Molly quickly jabs me to answer and I respond the only way I can.

"I have personal experience from abuse and bullying. This is by far one of the best charities so I will donate my time and talent and give it my all. I do so however donate a certain percentage of my earnings every year to numerous charities. This should not be news to you." It will be made public record tonight as what the experience is or was. They should do their research before they ask questions as I donate millions to various charities a year. It makes me look selfish and that I don't care as I do. Molly and Sawyer must realize I am pissed as when we get to the end of the red carpet I am whisked to the private canopy to the side of the stage.

"Miss Steele great answer but you need to respond a little less bitchy. That will be the response in the news tomorrow not the charity."

"Molly you're right but I think once I say my speech it will open their minds to who I truly am and what I have overcome." She nods as I drink a glass of water with lemon and I take the stage to applause and I feel the excitement as always. As it becomes quiet I feel a pull and magnetism that I felt six years ago. Is he here? As I look into the crowd I see a pair of grey eyes staring directly at me. Is that my grey eye mystery man? Of course, it is I couldn't forget those anywhere. I look away as I will be too distracted for my speech as he unknowingly saved my life that day.

****TRIGGER WARNING****

"Good Evening and thank you so much for having me tonight to help raise money for Coping Together. This is a wonderful charity created by the Grey Family to help benefit families and children from abuse situations. It also helps benefit the fight against bullying." I hesitate as I try to get the words out and I look for my grey eye mystery man and he is giving me the strength I need.

"I myself know what is like to grow up in a motherless home. I was abandoned at birth by my mother and to this day I do not know who she is. I was thankfully adopted by a man who will always be my father in my eyes. We moved around a lot as my father was in the military until I started this new school. I never had friends as we were moving around so much and when I started school after school my hopes and dreams were destroyed. I never had friends and became a loner. I kept to myself as I discovered my love and passion for music and singing. I was mentally, and physically abused for years from fellow classmates." I hear gasps all around the tables and everyone is staring. The cameras are flashing left and right and I could care less about that right know.

"Please be patient with me as this is my first time speaking about this. Most people don't realize how big of a problem this is. Bullying and abuse is so common in our lives that we don't even realize that it is happening when it does. Society believes it to be something normal, everyday thing, when it's not. Not even close. Every time it happens I hear adults say "They're kids. They'll get over it." and "it builds character and makes them stronger. They can deal with it themselves." When in reality, it breaks us and rips us apart bit by bit. Why should people give into bullies? Why do we have to let them hurt and harass us physically and emotionally? What makes us different from the rest of them? What is normal? There is no normal person, sex, race, or religion. Everyone has flaws and gifts and we need to embrace them. I've seen it and experienced it. I've felt how much it hurts not only me but my family as well. How many of you have ever thought, any time in your lives, that you weren't good enough? How many of you sitting out here tonight have been so brought down by abuse or bullying that all you can think of yourself is bad things? I have and still to this day feel these things."

I look into the crowd and see nods of the heads and some tears.

"Telling someone they are fat doesn't make you skinnier. Telling someone they're stupid doesn't make you any smarter. Slapping or hitting someone to make yourself feel better only makes you a coward. And telling someone to die definitely doesn't make you better than them. It takes one second to say these things but a lifetime for someone to get over it. We need to start standing up to those who believe they can walk over us and do whatever they want. We are all human beings just like these abusers. No matter if your religious beliefs are different, if your skin color is different, if your gay, bisexual, lesbian, or transgendered. We are all different and that is what makes us unique and special in our own ways. That is what makes life exciting."

Applause breaks out and I'm overwhelmed with the outpour and I know I need to finish this. I look into the eyes of my grey eyed man and stare at him as I finish this speech. I feel drawn to him and I have never been able to get him from my memories for six years. I feel wanted and loved like that day six years ago. Does he feel the same?

"When I was here in school in Seattle I was sixteen and I was practicing for a musical for weeks. At this school, I was repeatedly spat on, hair pulled, girls made boys grope and grab at me. I was repeatedly sexually harassed, physically and mentally abused the worst yet. One day I was practicing and I was attacked by three girls and was tied down. I had the worst physical experience to date and I will not go into detail tonight. I do not want to dwell on the memory that has haunted my dreams for six years. I was left both mentally and physically scarred. As I was laying there tied I was helpless and I decided right there and then that life wasn't worth living. I was going to kill myself that night. I am here to tell you all tonight that one person and one person alone decided to stand up and fight. That boy saved my life and I have forever been thankful to him. Thankfully, I was saved from doing the unspeakable and was able to achieve my life dream. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life. For better or for worse God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others." I finish as I'm staring at my mystery man and mouth thank you.