The Games Goddesses Play
Fandom: Samurai Jack
Pairing: Jack/Ashi
(Note/s: Guys…I really need to purge my heartbroken feelings in fic-form. I'm glad Jack/Ashi is canon…but goddamn did that finale still hurt. I can never accept the occasion they decided to drive a stake through his heart. I'm not entirely sure how long this will be. Two-part, three-part? I shall see. The italicized poems are from the Hundred Poems).
If I live on longer,
shall I again, I wonder,
yearn for these days?
The world that I once saw as
bitter, now, is dear to me.
The samurai heaved a sigh, his back leaning against the tree, the bark scraping him beneath his gi as he slid down to the gnarled roots. He remained under the canopy of leaves, arms around his knees, lost in thought. It had been weeks and the throbbing ache in his heart still continued to plague him. The beauty of Ashi and her love, forever out of reach, was a lodged dagger, twisting painfully, slowly, everyday…
In the fifty years spent in Aku's desolate future, he had never truly felt the years he gained until the moment she was taken from him.
The Fleeting Princess they called her. A woman that could have been a product of a collective dream or a fantastic imagination. Though, she only almost married their prince, she remained the princess in the people's hearts. In the short time they knew her, they had praised her selflessness and harped on her beauty. In art and lore, she would be assured a place in their time.
But kaiga commissions and marble statues—paint and stone—could never capture the real flesh and blood that was Ashi. And she had been real, the prince would argue to the ends of his days, no matter the paradoxical nature of her existence.
The Fleeting Princess. There was so much more to her than a lyrical name. Eventually, she would become just a myth, a story. A memory.
He shut his eyes. The same questions barraged his mind. Couldn't he have saved her? Could he have spared her from her fate? Was it truly worth it?
Opening his eyes, a ladybug sat on his finger, bringing with it the calm and answer he never expected to find.
From her celestial dwelling, the goddess with her harogomo gleaming softly around her, looked down below the earth with hands clasped beneath her moonbeam sleeves. From the lowest plain to the highest mountain peak, she was able to gaze into the mortal realm with magnified vision.
Framed by her window played a familiar sight. A man sending off a ladybug into the rolling hills. The creature ascending into the air.
The day she was conferred into godhood, whisked from oblivion by the Emperor of Heaven's mercy, she was told the man had been her lover. A prince, a samurai, who had crossed time and space, whose noble acts of selflessness freed mankind of a bleak future.
From the stories and prayers, it seemed she had aided him. Trading her existence for his mission's end. She supposed she must have loved him. She does not remember. Godhood untethered one from the mortal plane, rarely dealing with the ones who inhabited it. Nothing stirred beyond neutral detachment as the man gazed up into the heavens, face full of hope and longing.
She felt a flicker on her sleeve. A black-spotted red insect, like the many before it, perched unceremoniously on the fine material of her robes, like a fastened ruby amidst the diamonds of stars. It was not surprising for some creatures to cross the line that divided worlds. But ladybugs seemed to be the only ones she collected.
"You are a devoted fool." She said, frowning at the crawling insect. She then returned to the face of the man who had sent it. If she could feel pity, she would give it. If he wished for love, she would grant it. To send him someone to spend his days with. But his heart, the beating reminder of temporary existence, stubbornly refused room for anyone but her.
"You are in love with a memory." She muttered.
The smile on his face did not falter.
She is visited by the gods that had many dealings with the samurai prince and his family. There are no surprise visits, only unknown intentions among gods.
"It has been many years since the world has been freed from Aku." Ra said, his being glowing with an innate sun, the same as the others and herself. "The world is at peace."
The goddess pursed her mouth into a tight line, she did not care for trite conversation.
Odin, voice loud, thrusted his hammer at her direction, declaring, "Your sacrifice for the sake of the world is not forgotten."
"Yes, I'm quite aware of that fact." If they only meant to point out the obvious, they might as well not have bothered. She had shrines to bless and offerings to receive.
"The samurai warrior will not be forgotten too." Rama spoke, immediately catching her attention. "We are here to grant his request."
"I'm afraid that cannot be done." She said airily. She already knew. Every day, every single one, from every ladybug that entered her domain. She knew. "I am a different being. No longer human, no longer a demon. I feel nothing for the samurai, no matter what forces tied us together in the past."
"It is a dying request from an honored hero. It shall be done." Ra said, his tone leaving no room for argument. The goddess stared at the three deities with a darkened scowl. She bore her glare to each one of them.
"He wants her. I am not that person."
The truth of her statement hung in the infinity that surrounded them. Then, the clouded floor beneath their feet began to quiver. Cries and desperate pleas echoing in like taiko drums, as though playing for an absent pulse.
Ra turned to his companions. "It is almost his time."
"I cannot be who I no longer am." It would be her last say on the matter.
"You once were." Rama simply said, "and once more you can become."
My fear is that you will forget
your promise to never forget me,
so I would prefer to die
now while I am still happy.