"Ravager?" Beast Boy asked. "I've never heard of her."
"And you'll soon wish that you never had." Batman replied.
"Got it … she's a bad ass." The changeling replied.
"She's deadly. She's already taken down some Justice League members."
Raven's eyes widened. "You're kidding."
"I wish I was. And until we find out more about her I want all Titans to stay out of sight. Because of your past dealings with Deathstroke we believe that you are her targets, especially the five of you who were Jump City based. If Slade has switched back into his Deathstroke personality, then he won't relent until he hunts you down and kills each one of you."
"Why? Why is he going on this personal vendetta?" Raven asked.
Batman tapped on his computer and seconds later Deathstroke's dossier appeared in the screen in La Jolla.
"Deathstroke and Slade have different personalities. As Cap Jr. probably already told you, we believe he has multiple personality disorder. He was originally an officer in the Army, and for that reason he feels honor bound, at least when he's Deathstroke. And you have wronged him, dishonored him. He therefore is compelled to seek revenge against you. Know this, Deathstroke is ruthless and cunning. I can't allow anything to happen to you."
"Hey, we can take care of ourselves. We've dealt with Slade before." Beast Boy snapped at the Dark Knight.
"I mean no disrespect, young man, but you have no idea what you are up against, he isn't Slade anymore, he's Deathstroke the Terminator. It's bad enough that Deathstroke wants your heads on a platter. But now we also know that Ravager has joined her father."
"So just what are we supposed to do?" Raven asked.
"I have discussed this with Nightwing and we came up with a plan. He and Starfire will stay with me. Starfire will disguise herself as Batgirl and they will work with me. Cyborg is with Superman, and they will patrol Metropolis, along with Supergirl."
"And what about us?" Beast Boy asked.
"You're newlyweds. Stay invisible and enjoy your honeymoon. Freddy, I want you to stay in Cap Jr. form all the time. A package will arrive this afternoon with some civilian clothes you can wear; it won't do any good if you blow your cover walking around La Jolla wearing spandex and cape. And I need not remind you to wear your holorings when you leave the house, Mr. and Mrs. Logan, right? Once we know more of the situation, you'll have new orders. And before I forget, you're all members of the Justice League now."
"Dude! Really?"
"Yes, really. And before we sign off, I need to discuss a delicate matter with the Logans and the Graysons, and Cyborg, so please stay online. Freddy, if you'll excuse us, please."
Captain Marvel Jr. shrugged his shoulders and rose to leave, closing the bedroom door behind him. Raven furrowed her brow at the screen, wondering just what this delicate matter was.
"What is it, Bruce?" Nightwing asked.
The Dark Knight got to the point. "Are you using protection?"
Raven nearly choked upon hearing the question. "What?"
Starfire looked puzzled. "Protection? Will my star bolts and eye beams not suffice?"
Cyborg burst out laughing.
"I fail to see how this is any of your business." Raven fumed. "And it's nothing to laugh about Cyborg. Plus in our case, it's a moot question since I'm only half human. I can't become pregnant."
"Actually, I took the liberty of having Cyborg forward your medical profiles to Dr. Midnight."
"Who is the Dr. Midnight?" Starfire asked.
"He's the premier authority on meta human medical care." Cyborg chimed in. "I work pretty close with him. How do you think our infirmary gets stocked? I don't have a prescription pad, in case y'all forgot, I'm not a doctor. He's had access to our profiles for a long time, I just sent him to most up to date ones."
"So all these years, a complete stranger has had access to my medical records." Raven seethed.
"Relax girl, you'll actually be glad that he does." Cyborg grinned.
"And why would that be?"
"Because, after studying yours and BB's genomes, he discovered that the grass stain can knock you up. You can become pregnant, Raven."
The sorceress suddenly became more pale that usual and a worried look plastered her face.
"Uh, Raven … you guys have been using condoms … right?"
The only words to come out of the Logans' mouths was a tiny "eep".
"When did your last menses start?" Cyborg asked.
A look of panic crossed Raven's face. "Ten … no … it was nine days ago." She stammered.
"That's cutting it close. Dr. Midnight said he's overnighted some contraceptives that should work with your unique physiology to you, but you can't count on those to work for at least two more menstrual cycles. You love birds had better go stock up on some rubbers until then. And the same goes for Nighty and Star." Cyborg wagged his human eyebrow at them.
"You're enjoying this way too much, chrome dome." The changeling snapped at his buddy.
"You'd better believe it, B. But I'm not joking, after we're done here, you need to go out and buy some. As in today. Raven's way too close to her fertility window, and while nothing would make me happier than to become Uncle Cyborg, this isn't a good time for Raven to get preggers. And don't forget to buy some lubricant; it'll help with the rubbers."
Raven face palmed. "And how would you know this? Is there someone you haven't told us about?"
Cyborg grinned. "Hey, I read."
Raven heaved an exasperated sigh. "Are we done?"
"We are." Batman announced. "Remember, stay hidden."
The video link was cut and the screen went blank.
"Now I understand why Robin ran away to the other side of the continent. I used to think that Mento was overbearing, but Batman has him beat hands down." Raven remarked in an annoyed tone. "Look at me, I'm tense and frustrated."
"That reminds me; I should call Steve and Rita, and tell them about our news." Beast Boy remarked offhandedly.
"Steve and Rita? Do I know them?" Raven asked.
He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh yeah you do, they're my adoptive parents."
Raven did a double take. "You never told me that you have adopted parents. And you've never introduced me to anyone named Steve or Rita."
"Well … heh heh .. you do know them by other names." He sweat dropped.
"Mento and Elastigirl!" Raven shrieked. "You mean to tell me that they're your parents? Sweet Azar! And I thought my dad was overbearing."
"We really should call them, Rave."
She shook her head. "Not now, I'm not ready to tell them that I married their son behind their backs. I'm feeling way too tense … first Batman butts his nose into our private life and now I just learned that my father-in-law is Mento of the Doom Patrol."
"How about we take a nice, hot shower?" He suggested. "You'll feel better."
"And cleaner … I didn't even have time to wash my face after we got up. Batman can be such an ass. Would it have really made any difference had we waited longer to call back?"
He smiled at her. "I'll start the shower. Don't keep me waiting."
In an amazing feat of coordination, the changeling stripped his clothes off as he ran towards the bathroom and was in the buff as he stepped into the cavernous bath. Raven smiled as she removed her cape and kicked off her blue boots. Mimicking her husband she dropped her leotard, then her bra and finally her panties as she walked towards the bath.
The shower was unlike anything she had ever seen before. The shower stall was huge; Cyborg could wash the T-Car in it. There were several brass showerheads, each the size of a dinner plate, with a torrent of steaming water pouring out. She stepped in and wrapped her arms around her green mate.
"We'd better go out and get those … you know what I mean." She purred at him. "Oh Azar, I could do it right here and now."
"My wife is horny, that is so hot." He chuckled as be poured some shampoo onto her scalp and began to later her up with rhythmic hand motions.
"I'm half demon … horny is my middle name, and don't tell me you aren't aroused …"
"I am … maybe we should take a cold shower."
"I don't think so." She replied as she lathered up his loofah with body wash and began to scrub his body.
They continued their sensuous bath; until there was no doubt that they were 100% clean. Dropping the loofah in the floor, Raven levitated up to eye level with him and began to French kiss him. He reciprocated and she wrapped her legs around his waist as the hot water drops caressed their bodies.
"Gar, I want you sooo bad right now."
He looked into her now four eyed face. "We could get pregnant." He replied.
"I don't care; I just want you right now."
That was when Raven's communicator, which she left in the bathroom earlier, began to trill.
"What was that?" He asked between kisses.
The communicator trilled again.
"Rachel!" She gasped as her eyes reverted to their normal indigo color and configuration.
"Rachel? Why is she calling you?"
"No time to explain." She replied as shut off the water. She opened the massive shower door and reached for her communicator, which she left on a counter next to the shower. Still standing next to her husband, dripping wet, she flipped it open. To her immense relief she saw Rachel and Garth's beaming faces.
Raven heaved a huge sigh of relief. "I see that things went well."
Aqualad gave her a puzzled look. "You guys are wet."
Suddenly remembering her nakedness, Raven pulled the communicator close to her face.
"We were … OK … we're taking a shower together." Raven blushed.
"We can call back later." Rachel volunteered.
Raven shook her head as Beast Boy slipped a huge Turkish bathrobe on her. "It's OK, we're decent now."
Aqualad smiled sheepishly. "Raven … thanks ... thanks for telling Rach to be honest with me. And congratulations on your … well … sudden marriage."
"Thanks … so … can I safely assume that you are now a couple?"
Rachel was beaming happily. "It's better than that … Garth asked me to marry him."
"Wow, he moves fast, but don't you guys think that you're jumping the … oof." Beast Boy clutched his side after Raven elbowed him in the ribs, his own plush bathrobe barely protected him.
"That is wonderful news, sister. Gar and I are both very happy for you and Aqualad. Have you set a date?"
"We're going to do the standard Atlantean betrothal year. During that time, people can raise their objections to the marriage …"
"Not that there will be any." Garth interjected.
Raven smiled. "So you're staying in Atlantis. Will you become 'Aquagirl'?"
Rachel bubbled with happiness. "Maybe I will … you guys need to come visit! Atlantis is gorgeous!"
"Once everything is back to normal, we will." She promised.
Rachel and Garth exchanged a hug and a kiss.
"We'll let you guys go, looks like you need to get ready for the day."
"Bye"
Raven snapped her communicator shut.
"What was that about?" He asked as he rubbed his side. "And you elbowed me. Did I ever tell you that you're mean?"
"More than once. And I'll tell you all about what happened while we get ready, but this stays between us."
The changeling arced an eyebrow, knowing that whatever it was, it was going to be juicy.
"Sure, I understand."
-( scene break )-
Freddy drove the rental car into the parking lot at the supermarket on La Jolla Blvd. While the ice cream bar in the cabana was well stocked, the pantry in the kitchen was bare. The three disguised superheroes emerged from the car and entered the over air conditioned store shivering as they walked in from the hot day outside. They grabbed two shopping carts. One was the "carnivore" cart, which Freddy pushed and the other one was the vegetarian cart, which a holoring disguised Beast Boy pushed.
The trio methodically made their way up and down the store's aisles, tossing in packages of breakfast cereal, pasta, eggs, milk, bread, jars of picante and spaghetti sauce, frozen pizzas, ice cream, butter, rice, fruits, vegetables, etc. until the carts were packed and were creaking under their loads.
Their last stop was in the pharmacy area, where they picked up some ibuprophen. As they turned into the next aisle the Chromatically Challenged Couple stopped dead in their tracks and gawked in amazement at the display.
"I didn't realize there would be so many different kinds of them." Raven muttered, unable to conceal the astonishment in her voice as she randomly grabbed a box. "Ribbed, unribbed, latex, non latex, lubricated, non lubricated, "Ecstasy", "Magnum", "Stimulation", "Pleasures", "Her Pleasure", "Sensitivity", "Vibrations"?, "ENZ"? And they come in sizes too? And look at the lubricants. Astro-Glide? What kind of name is that? How are we supposed to know what to get?
Beast Boy shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me."
They both turned to Freddy, who was blushing a crimson red.
"Don't ask me. I've never even had a girlfriend."
Raven frowned. "Really?"
Freddy's face fell. "Chicks don't dig the gimpy leg."
"You mean shallow women." Raven continued to frown.
Freddy sighed. "I haven't had a lot of luck finding the non shallow kind, at least the ones that don't react like they want to run away when you ask them out on a date. And Cap told me that I can't date when I'm Cap Jr., which for now all the time."
"I don't believe this! You're a perfectly nice young man, Freddy. Women should be all over you."
He laughed. "They do … in my dreams."
Raven turned to her mate. "We're going to fix that, right Gar?"
The changeling gulped. "Uh Rave, isn't that more like something for Star to do?"
"Nonsense, there are plenty of lady Titans we can introduce to Freddy. They'll be able to appreciate him for who he is …"
"Cap also said no dating super heroines."
"Cap can stuff it!" Raven snapped at Freddy. "What is he? A monk?"
Freddy looked around nervously, making sure that no one was within earshot. "Actually, he's a kid. He's 10 years old. His name's Billy." He whispered.
Raven's jaw dropped. "He's 10?"
Before Freddy could reply, the store's pharmacist approached them, with a mischievous smile on his face. "Can I help you?"
Raven turned to the interloper and frowned.
"How the hell are we supposed know which ones to buy?" She growled as she pointed at shelved loaded with boxes of condoms and lubricants. I have no idea and neither does my husband!"
The pharmacist's smile grew. "Let me guess, you're newlyweds?"
"Yes, we are, not that it's any of your business."
While he continued to smile he handed Raven a box of ribbed, non lubricated condoms. He then handed her a tube of generic lubricant. "This should serve your needs, use the lubricant liberally. Are you on your honeymoon?"
"We are." She replied in a defensive tone.
"Enjoy your stay in La Jolla." The man smirked as he returned to the prescription counter.
Raven threw the condoms and the lubricant into the shopping cart.
"Let's get out of here." She seethed as she pushed the cart to the checkout lanes.
-( scene break )-
If you're wondering how I know so much about condoms, I visited the Trojans website.
I need to run now, so I'm skipping the mail bag today.