Chapter 12: True Happiness

After it seemed like Sakura was never going to take her eyes off the baby, Sasuke finally asked her to show her the bathroom. She sheepishly smiled, feeling slightly guilty about having ignored his presence and reluctantly handed Sarada to Sasuke and went into one of the two rooms inside the apartment. She came back with a light blue towel, a black shirt and a pair of grey sweat pants.

"Its right here Sasuke." She said from her hallway gesturing her hand to the room beside the room she had come from. He handed Sarada back to Sakura, who happily took her back, and vaguely wondered why Sakura had men's clothes so readily available.

Sasuke undressed, scowling at the smell coming from himself. He stepped into the creamy tub and turned the faucet relishing the feel of the warm water running over his grimy body. He felt strange, like someone was lifting rocks off his body. He felt strangely like his body wasn't his own, as though he was looking down at himself. An odd sense of freedom surrounded him as he felt like he was about to loose balance, putting his one arm to the tile leaning his weight on it. He closed his eyes tightly trying to get a hold of himself but his vision was filled with Sakura as she bounced Sarada in her arms happily smiling her usual bright smile.

Seeing Sakura behind his closed eyelids was nothing new to Sasuke. For the past four months that's all he had seen anytime his eyes were closed. The first time it had startled him and he had opened his eyes to the dark room Kakashi had given him for the time being. After she refused to see him following his return to Konoha, he had closed his eyes whenever he can just to see her.

What surprised Sasuke this time however wasn't that, but the image he saw changed. It wasn't of her lying on an uncomfortable bed in a cave or her crying or her beating him up. In this one, she was smiling the brightest smile, which is something he has never been able to conjure up in his head. As the image behind his closed eyes continued to play, with Sakura smiling and Sarada looking up at her with large black eyes, Sasuke's own mouth turned up in a smile.

Sasuke opened his eyes, rubbing Sakura's coconut shampoo in his hair, endlessly thankful she didn't use something overly girly, like strawberry. Ugh.

Even after he had cleaned himself of all the sweat and grime, Sasuke stayed under the running water. It felt so good to clean himself this thoroughly. During his travels, more often than not, he has to clean himself near a river or a stream. It wasn't very often that he got to stay under a shower with warm water raining down on him. He also couldn't help being aware of himself when he was around Sakura. It wasn't like when he was younger and he just minded his own business not caring about either of his teammates. Now it was like he didn't know what to do. What was he supposed to do with his hands? Where was he supposed to look? Things that were so inconsequential were bothering him when he was with her. And where the hell had she found him clothes from so fast? Did someone sleep over often that they have to keep their things at Sakura's house? Or did someone sleep over and forget their things? But then that would mean this person left without any clothes on…that was more disturbing. Either way…someone was naked in this apartment aside from…the resident.

Wondering why he felt this way about Sakura, his mind has asked him an even graver question.

When did he stop feeling this way about Sakura?

He didn't know when exactly it had happened, but he suspected it didn't start at any one moment, but rather it combined various moments from his time in team seven. He had always been protective of her, had always found her face without a smile unacceptable, had always always been grateful for her feelings for him, had always counted on her feelings for him. When had he stopped thinking about Sakura like that?

He supposed he knew the answer to that as well. Both Naruto and Sakura had been the main reason why he defected in the first place. During his time with Orochimaru, he had stopped seeing her like that. Then she had become someone who wanted to take his life's goal from him just as Naruto. When had his friends become so disposable for him? As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was disgusted with himself.

He turned off the facet and stepped out of the tub and dried himself off, grudgingly getting into the clothes Sakura had handed him, only because he didn't have anything else. He decided not to go deeper into why these clothes bothered him so much, that was a can of worms he'd leave for later, if ever.

The next week was spent in Sakura's apartment because she refuses to part with Sarada and because Sasuke too refuses to go back to the compound without Sarada. He slept in Sakura's uncomfortable, small couch which he had forsaken after the first two days to the good old floor. Sakura and Sarada slept on Sakura's, what Sasuke was sure was comfortable, bed. Sarada slept most of the day and night, but some nights she would awaken both Sakura and Sasuke with her cries, at which time Sasuke would run into the room in fear only to see Sakura struggling to calm the baby down. Both Sasuke and Sakura would panic because she wouldn't stop crying and Sarada would eventually fall sleep minutes before her parents have to start their day.

With the frustration of not being able to sleep both due to Sarada and the floor, Sasuke finally suggested that Sakura move into the compound with them. There were too many beds with no one to sleep on in there while Sasuke suffered on the floor. Sarada could even have her own room, though Sasuke doubted Sakura would let that happen. After another week, a lot of hesitation from Sakura and much much convincing from Sasuke, Sakura, Sarada and Sasuke took permeant residence in the Uchiha compound.

Sasuke had known that the whole thing was pretty much ruble after the war, so he was surprised to walk in and find one house, brand new standing erect in the middle where his old house used to be. Even though it looked similar to his old house from the outside, it looked completely different from the inside. It wasn't as large as it used to be, but it still had three rooms and two bathrooms. He didn't know how he could possibly thank Kakashi for this, but he was eternally grateful.

Sasuke gave the master bedroom to Sakura because it had a bigger bed in it and enough room for both Sakura and Sarada and their things. He took one of the other rooms because he didn't have many things and he didn't really need that much space.

His first week back in the village had been spent at Kurenai's house because she was the only person Sakura knew who had a baby. Sasuke watched with baby Sarada in his arms as Sakura furiously took note of everything Kurenai said. Sasuke internally laughed at Sakura's seriousness because she looked like she was studying for a test. Kurenai offered to give Mirai's old clothes but Sasuke only had to look at Sakura once for her to answer "no" but much more politely than Sasuke would have. He'd be damned if he took charity.

After buying everything that Sakura deemed necessary, which was almost everything the baby store had on shelf, Sasuke thanked his deceased parent for their small fortune. Throughout the whole ordeal, Sasuke didn't miss the mistrustful and almost hateful looks the whole village seem to throw their way. While Sakura seems to not even notice their gaze, Sasuke looking at them with his rinnegan stopped them from staring at them. That was how his first couple of weeks back in Konoha was spent.

Sakura took a break from her missions and hospital duties for a while, which Kakashi was more than happy to give her. It had been three months already by the time Naruto came back from his mission. If Sasuke had the ability, he would've burst out laughing at his reaction. Kakashi had only informed him that Sasuke was back. So after thunderously and forcefully entering Sasuke's house, Naruto had been surprised to see Sakura there, because as far as he knew, Sakura was never talking to Sasuke again. But she was sitting on the floor that lead outside from his living room reading many of the baby books she had bought. Both Sasuke and Sakura looked up as Naruto entered and stared at Sakura then Sasuke sitting on the kotatsu table also reading, because Sakura made him. He looked from one to the other but didn't question much because he was too happy to. He hadn't thought it would be possible for him and his friends to be in one room anymore but here they were, despite everything that had happened and he was too elated to question it.

Naruto was just about to jump on Sasuke to greet him when he heard the loud wailing. He seems to wonder where it was coming from for a brief moment with confusion written all over his whiskered face when Sakura stood up and left the room.

"Can't you be quiet from now on dead last?" Sasuke couldn't help it, he just had to.

"Wait! That's coming from your house?" he screeched, blue eyes wide in amazement. The whole thing had been something Sasuke would never forget. At the end Sasuke, not for the first time, was amazed at his team's ability for acceptance.

Some how Sasuke felt like he should've known that Naruto would be good with kids, yet he was still surprised when Sarada didn't cry when Naruto picked her up from Sakura's arms. She didn't smile yet, but her lips were kind of stuck in a small eternal smile. But Naruto continued to coo and smile at her and she watched him as if in a kind of fascination.

As the four of them gathered around his kotatsu table and he watched Sakura smile fondly at Sarada and Naruto, as he watched Naruto rock Sarada side to side, as he watched Sarada watch him with big eyes in wonder, he realized… this is what true happiness must feel like.

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