I have to apologize, I totally forgot to post Chapter 1 yesterday =_=.. ha haha.. dont kill me...

Anyways Im soo happy I got some reviews, follows and faves overnight, do you know how happy your support make me to be?! EXTREMELY HAPPY!...

(C)Disclaimer: No matter how many times I say it, I Do Not Own Gintama.

Chapter 1

Just another day at the office

All men are horrible. They are stupid, disgusting, diabolical and evil. The one who stands on top of them; the most ruthless, maniacal, and vile, is the prince of the planet of sadists – "Okita Sougo".

The sun shone brightly on her porcelain white skin, the azure sky littered with cumulus clouds, a breeze passed by and ruffled her vermillion locks. The day would have been perfect! If it wasn't for the young man in black uniform, shouting a truck load of insults aimed towards her. He was holding a rolled up paper in his right hand, waving it in a reprimanding manner. He was obviously pissed, as to why? Kagura did not know, and she most definitely did not care.

"Oi! China! Can't you do anything right?" He stood in front of her, brows knotted together, eyes piercing invisible daggers at her. "These things have a ton of typos! What the hell is 'the victim was resuscitated at her arms and legs', wasn't she supposed to have lacerated arms and legs!?"

"Lacerated, resuscitated what's the difference? Whatever happened to her arms and legs do not matter, she's still alive." A vein popped up the officer's temple. The brat needed to go back to high school and be taught proper English.

"What about this?! ' The man stated to have (been asleep),(constipation during the time of the crime) been experiencing diarrhoea at the event of the murder. He was staying at (a friend's) his mother's basement because he has no job and is a good for nothing freeloader, drinking a (can of beer) carton of two months old-expired strawberry milk.' Didn't you just change his whole alibi! No rather, didn't just change his whole life?!" Now the man seemed furious, his eyes became narrow and his nostrils were flaring. She only made it more interesting. And besides, the man was proven innocent so no harm done. It did not matter whether he had constipation or diarrhea or went to the zoo or went to the north poles.

"Well then Sadist, maybe next time you wouldn't pass down your work to other people! "

"China what are you talking about? You're part of the first division; I'm the captain of the first division. I'm pretty sure it's alright for me to dump all my paper works on the desk of MY secretary." Screw him, that Okita Sougo. He does nothing but lay around a vacant spot in the compound with that stupid red eye mask of his.

"Screw you! You don't deserve my chastity!" she screamed, the other officers passing by at the side whipping their heads towards the two's heated conversation.

"The word is charity! Charity! And you're getting paid so do your job right!" the first captain's frantic reply. And with that he left the area, but not before giving the other officers a –get back to work death glare –

It's been a year since Kagura started working at the Shinsengumi, a long gruesome year. It has always been her dream to be a police, and it has only been a year since they started accepting women as a part of the force. She, among other female co-workers was giving secretarial positions. But what Kagura really dreams of is out in the field, fighting bad guys and saving lives. Just like those on the television, albeit such shows were dramatized and exaggerated, she loved the adventure and the feeling of fulfilment. If she worked hard enough, endured the first captain's verbal harassment, and showed restraint in tying his neck and hanging him in a tree, she could very well one day be transferred to the field.

Okita Sougo was a pain in the ass. He ordered her around; nagged too much like a mother would telling her son to pick up the dirty laundry in his room. She just didn't like him, he was a total douche. During the first days of work she was determined to be the cute, loved by all, adorable little secretary in the first division. But the presence of Okita Sougo somehow negated her desire to be loved; their violent encounters gave her the nickname –The 'China beast' of the first division.

During the next weeks, she didn't even mind anymore if the other male officers looked at her with sheer terror in their eyes, practically wetting themselves at the sight of her. Apparently, only the vice commander could go hand in hand with the prince of Sadist and still live. After hearing that, she felt rather glorified about her title. It seems no one in their division can say 'No' to Okita Sougo other than her.

But internally, even with her title, she knew she was still no match for the prince. One wrong move and she could end up jobless, homeless and penniless. She just had to make sure that while she suffers, so does he.

"Kagura-chan! What are you still doing there? Put your computer to sleep, its lunch time!" A perky voice chimed. Kagura wasn't the only female employee at their division; the one who took the adorable secretary role was Tokugawa Soyo. With her straight black princess hair, smile that could melt the poles and a voice that make angels sing Hallelujah, she was the epitome of femininity.

"Wahh! Soyo-chan! I have a lot of work! Huhu!"

"Its ok Kagura-chan, I'll help you after we eat lunch." Soyo is actually an angel sent by the gods to help the poor and needy down here on earth.

"Wah! Thank you! Your heaven sent!"

Tokugawa Soyo is indeed a kind and gentle girl. Most of the Shinsengumi officers admire the young lady and some have even expressed their infatuation with letters, bouquets of flowers, or a confession under the shinsengumi cherry blossom tree. Soyo turns them down but their love for the princess still remains. Most times Kagura would act as her body guard, sending chills down her stalkers spines. If anyone came too close, hell would befall upon them as Kagura's round house kick was said to sent you to a coma for 3 weeks.

"Ahh! Soyo-chan brought a bentou for me?"

"Because it's I bought too many ingredients today." Unlike others who stay at the compound, Soyo goes home to her condo. She has a brother but she lives alone.

"Must be tough living alone?" Yato Kagura has no family. Yes she has a brother, but she hasn't seen him for years, not since after their father left whom she also hasn't seen for years. The feeling of abandonment has left her to believe that she no longer has a family. And even if they somehow miraculously came back, she would rather make a camp fire and roast the two than accept them back to her life.

Mosquitoes. She hated mosquitoes. It makes you want to rethink the first lessons of science class during third grade. The one about the life cycle of a mosquito, it's just a lie the adults came up with because they could not explain how mosquitoes are able to reproduce aerially and born as full fledged blood suckers. That or they have the ability to teleport to wherever place Kagura was, stalking her and seeking her blood.

It didn't even have to be this way! She didn't have to be walking the cold dark streets of Edo if it weren't for that Sadistic bastard. It was past midnight, as the unlucky secretary of the first captain, she was given paper works more than what she usually had to deal with. The lazy ass captain was procrastinating the whole day so now they had to rush the reports due tomorrow morning. TOMORROW! MORNING! 'I guess this is what you call over time' to add more to her irritation, the little devil sent her on an errand.

"Hey China, go buy something in the convenience store for me"

"I'm not buying your condoms"

"W-what!? The hell are you talking about, I still have two stacks here."

"You had that two stacks since last month Sadist, are you having trouble getting it up?"

"Go buy me a can of coffee and some pocky you damn unfeminine she-beast"

"YOU WANT ME TO BUY WHAT AT AN UNGODLY HOUR OF 1 IN THE MORNING!?"

"Do it or else I will have you suspended for disobeying your commanding officer in addition to the sexual insults."

"THEN SUSPEND ME!"

"You won't get paid"

"I'm sorry how many did you want again?"

That damn Sadist jerk, using her lack of finance into following his commands, how dare he send an innocent defenseless female out in the streets like this! He should go bald; she curses him to go bald. What if a serial killer comes up behind her and stabs her 30 times with a swiss-army knife? Then the children of Edo would make an eerie rhyme about her death.

Kagura, kagura walking down the street

Stabbed by a murderer 10 x 3

He swung to the left, He swung to the right

He swung to the middle and across three times

Not bad, pretty catchy. She was starting to enjoy the little song in her head when she heard footsteps behind her. The sound drew closer, and closer, louder as it comes. A shadow at her peripheral vision, 'OH GOD!' she knew it! It was real, she was going to be murdered right here right now! 'Mother! Father! I'm sorry to have been a bad child, in the next life I wish you were still my parents, and that I wish father was not bald! I want to apologize to my big brother for eating that last slice of pizza in the fridge! I'm sure that constituted as a reason why he left the house! I'm sorry for all my sins, I repent, repent!'

"Hey.."

He is touching my shoulder! "WAHHHH!"

"What the hell are you freaking out about? It's me!" Huh? Wait, it's not her thirty times stabbing swiss army knife serial killer? Sadist? Sadist! Is that really him? She has never felt so happy to see his ugly mug before. God! He scared her to death! He could've been some axe murderer! She could have karate chopped his face, then he would've dropped dead on the ground! She would have needed to hide the body in the river, book a plane to Alaska and change her name to Olga!

"Do you even know how COLD it is in Alaska!?"

"What? –anyways you were taking too long so I came looking for you."

Ahh, well well well... Looks like even pretty faced black hearted demons can get guilty, Okita Sougo you're on your way to golden redemption!

"Hurry up!,... you slow retarded china harpy"

I take it back, I take it all back...

(A/N): Again, Please read and review! Fave and follow , because I get a boost in confidence whenever you guys let me know that you enjoy reading my story and -that you don't mind my procrastination-

Again, UPDATES- I promise no such things!-