"She was too checking me out," Kelso said to Donna as they walked down the outdoor steps to Eric's basement.

"She was not," Donna countered.

"Trust me, Donna, I know what being checked out looks like. Of course, I don't care, cause I got Angie now and she's totally hot."

"Yeah, I'm sure you weren't flattered at all, that's why you're still talking about it."

They reached the door at the bottom of the staircase and Donna turned the knob. She walked inside first, and before Kelso could follow her in, she turned back around and put a hand to her face, saying "oh my god!"

"What?" Kelso barged past her and saw Hyde, his shirt and lower part of his face covered in blood. "Dude, it looks like you ate somebody!" Kelso said to him.

Alarmed, Donna turned back around and asked, "What happened?"

Hyde pointed to the stairs behind him.

"You fell down the stairs?"

Hyde nodded. "I only tripped be-"

"Here." Donna cut him off, handing him a wad of tissues she pulled from a box on the table. "Are you okay? Of course you're not okay, you look like Fez after that cherry pie eating contest."

Hyde said, "I've been worse," and pressed the tissues to his nose. "Kelso's my witness to that."

Kelso made a face. "Dude, I think your nose is broken."

Hyde shook his head. He was out of breath.

This was bad, Donna told herself. She should probably be calling an ambulance. Hyde would kill her, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Still, noses could bleed a lot. Maybe he was fine beyond that. But of course, considering the guy had a couple of broken bones already, this was unlikely. Donna leaned down and said to him, quietly so that Kelso couldn't overhear, "seriously, are you alright?"

"Think so."

Hyde was an unreliable source. He would always say he was fine. But of course, if he ever didn't, then she would really worry. "You're breathing funny," she pointed out.

"Like, ha ha funny?"

Donna rolled her eyes at him.

Hyde sighed, then winced. "Yeah, my side's killing me. But-"

"When I asked you if you were fine, that would..." Donna shook her head. "Whatever, where do you keep your pills?"

"On my bed."

She quickly went to his room to retrieve them, and returned just as fast. She took off the cap off the orange bottle. Hyde set down the tissues and took it from her. He poured out several pills onto his shirt (Donna didn't see how many), then gave her back the bottle, picked up the pills, and swallowed them.

"Keep holding the tissues to your nose," she instructed.

"Yes, mom." At least he was in the mood for sarcasm and jokes. That was a good sign. Or just Hyde being his unwavering self. He coughed, and his two friends looked at him with concern. "Kelso, aren't you going to give me shit for this?"

Kelso said, "friends getting hurt is only funny when they're not, like, bad hurt."

"It's not bad." As if on cue, he coughed harder, this time coughing up a small amount of blood. "Okay, so it looks bad."

"I think we should drive you to a hospital."

"Donna," Hyde said, "don't freak out."

She turned to Kelso. "Kelso, are you freaked out?"

"Yeah," Kelso said reluctantly, drawing out the word. "Sorry, Hyde."

"Okay, we're both worried, so I'm going to call Kitty, and then we'll drive."

"It's because I've been swallowing nose blood," Hyde argued as she started walking upstairs. "C'mon, Donna." She kept walking, despite protests of "snitches get stitches, Pinciotti."

Why were all of her friends so immature?

"If you broke your face, Jackie's going to be pissed," Kelso told Hyde.

"Yeah, well it's my face, not hers." He stopped to catch his breath. "But if I broke anything else, I'm going to be pissed." He dropped tissues to rub the side of his broken rib. "There was this time in middle school." He stopped again. "I got in a fight with this kid who wouldn't lay off Forman." And again. "Beat him up real bad, got detention for two weeks." He wiped his nose with his arm. Coughed.

Kelso felt like he was in one of those war movie scenes, where the best friend gives a dying speech right after he's been shot. Man, it would be fun to be a movie star, he thought, then tuned back in.

Hyde continued, pausing every few words to take sharp breaths, "we both ended up pretty messed up, though. So I show up at school the next day all black and blue. And Jackie says she bet Edna pushed me down the stairs, and I'm like 'what stairs, man? We only got the one floor.'"

Kelso shook his head solemnly. "Who would have thought back then that one day you'd steal her from me?"

Hyde put the tissues back to his face, which muffled his voice as he spoke. "For the last time, I didn't steal her from you."

"You sound like Darth Vader." Kelso pointed at him with a smile. "Luke," he said, doing his own best Vader impression, "I am your father!"

They could hear Donna's feet on the stairs as she rejoined them. "Kitty's waiting for us. Time for another hospital adventure."

"Joy," Hyde said, getting up slowly. "I can get another notch in my hospital punch card. Maybe next time they'll throw in free ice cream." In crossing to the stairs, he noticed the small amount of blood on the floor he had neglected to wipe up. "Crap, I have to clean up this blood before Jackie or Forman sees."

"I'll deal with it after we drop you off," Donna offered, "but you owe me."

"How much?"

"I don't know. Ten dollars. More if I get any on me. Are you ready or what?"

"Yeah, uh..." Hyde looked around thoughtfully, then limped back to grab another pill. "One more for the road. Alright, let's get this over with."

"Should we put those up somewhere?" Kelso asked. Brooke had made him learn all about baby proofing before Betsy was born, and one thing he had learned was to keep medicine and all dangerous stuff on high shelves or locked away.

"No, it's not like there's a dog who would eat them," Donna said. "Speaking of which, whatever happened to Schatzi?"

All three tilted their heads at this mystery, then shrugged it off. That was one mystery not even Kelso could get to the bottom of.

Accompanying his friend upstairs, Kelso said, "damn Hyde, I don't know what kind of stuff you did for all this bad karma, but I think the universe is mad at you or something."

"Yeah, I don't know, maybe I punched a baby in my sleep. The universe can suck-" He was cut off by his own coughing.

"I'm glad you didn't finish that sentence," said Donna with an eye roll.

Hyde smirked back at her with cocked eyebrows. As the trio made their way to the car, he said, "do me a favor and don't tell Jackie about this mess."

"God, you need so many favors," Kelso teased.

Donna had a different reaction. "You want to tell her yourself?"

"Hell no. Not if I don't have to."

"You're just going to lie to her and pretend nothing happened? I think she's going to notice when you come back with a face cast."

"It won't be lying if I'm fine, which I will be."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll see it that way."

Kelso agreed with his red haired friend. "Donna's right, man; chicks don't like it when you don't tell them stuff."

"What, like when you cheat on them with half of Point Place?" Hyde said.

"Uh!" Kelso let his jaw drop.

Donna declared this a burn, and the three of them piled into Kelso's convertible.

As Kelso pulled out of the drive way, Hyde asked, "do you know how to get there?"

"Yeah, dude." Kelso looked at him through the rear view mirror. "I drove to it a hundred times last week."

"Oh yeah," Hyde said. He grunted as he reached for the seat belt, opting to let go of it. His breathing was loud enough for Kelso to hear. "Hey," he continued, "something kind of cool happened before I fell."

Donna turned around in the passenger seat to face him. "Save your breath, Hyde. Okay, that came out wrong. I mean it literally. You sound like that weird blond girl from gym class after we'd run laps."

"Oh, the girl with the giant glasses and the inhaler?" Kelso said. "Yeah, she was weird. She was in that chorus with Fez that that asshole British guy taught, which is totally weird because I don't know how you can sing if you breath like a pug."

"She had a face like a pug too," Hyde commented.

Donna shot back, "you're one to be criticizing faces right now, Rocky."

"Broken nose or not, I'm still doing better than that chick."

"Seriously, you're way out of breath. And besides, cut her some slack. It's hard being a girl. Guys give you so much crap for how you dress, or curl your hair, or...everything."

Kelso raised his eyebrows. "Guys and Jackie."

"Hey," Hyde said.

"What, it's true. I was with her for years man, and she's a great girl, but she's judgey as hell."

"She had good enough judgement not to stay with you."

Kelso gasped.

"Okay, you two," Donna said, "no cat fights. Although that was a sweet burn, Hyde."

Kelso corrected her, "it was a hurtful burn."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "That's the point, moron." He sniffled. "Ugh."

"It's not still bleeding," said Donna, "is it?"

"Yeah. Like a faucet."

"Damn, Hyde," Kelso said. "Don't get any blood on my seat."

"I'll keep the, uh...tie dyeing to my shirt."

"Thanks, buddy."

"Didn't you get this car at a police auction? It's probably had blood in it," Donna said. Then, with a smirk: "it's probably haunted."

Kelso laughed. "Of course it's not haunted, Donna. I already checked before I bought it. What, you think I'd buy a haunted car with a baby to take care of? No way. That'd be bad parenting. No one is getting spooked by any ghosts on my watch."

There was a short pause, and then Donna yelled "boo!"

Kelso flinched in surprise. "Damn it, Donna! I thought we talked about this, no spooks while I'm driving!"

"Donna? Kelso?" Eric was not expecting to find his friends in his basement when he returned home, since not a single resident of the house had been there. "What are you guys doing?" He stood on the top step, watching Donna scrub at the floor with a towel. "What is that?"

"We're just cleaning up a murder," said Kelso, who was perched on the back of the sofa. "I already buried the body in your backyard."

"Wait, is that blood?"

"Wow, you catch on fast," Donna said. "We didn't kill anybody, for the record."

"What a relief," Eric said. "Here I was thinking my basement was fugative central. Did one of you get hurt?" Michael Kelso was known for accidentally injuring himself (especially in the eyes) regularly. "Kelso?"

"I didn't do it! It's Hyde's gross nose blood."

"He said he tripped down the stairs," Donna elaborated.

"Is he okay? He's not the body you buried, is he?"

Donna sighed. "He says he's fine."

"Of course he does."

"We just dropped him off at the hospital. He said he'd call with an update when he could."

"Which I'm looking forward to," Kelso said, "because me and him made a bet. I got five bucks on his nose being broken. Donna votes ribs, but she didn't want to bet anything."

Donna ran her hand through her hair. "It felt dirty making bets on how hurt my friend is. Even though I would win those five dollars. Oh, and another thing, he says we can't tell Jackie about this, which I think is wrong, but whatever."

A new voice entered the room. "Don't tell Jackie what?"

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for reading, and to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed last chapter! You guys are the best. The next chapter will be out very, very soon, and then you'll all get to see who wins the bet, and if Jackie finds out. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and that there was a good mix of jokes and drama. Please review, and I'll see you guys soon! Have a lovely day!