Honestly, not 100% happy with this chapter but I've spent the last several weeks trying to rewrite it and I had like 12 different versions of it. This one just happened to be the best one and I am eager to move on to the next portion of this story. I'm starting to think it might actually be shorter than I originally planned since there are some things that I had planned that I will probably cut... we'll see what comes of it though.

Happy Reading!

-DFD

Chapter 12

By the time she got off work Anakin had long since gone home. She had taken a few extra hours due mainly to the recent number of head traumas that had come in a few days prior. Padme hated the distance that had come between them over the past few months but she felt it was necessary since he seemed to be waiting for her to fall apart at any moment. He wants so desperately for things to get back to normal but she doesn't see that happening.

Walking out of the hospital she checked her phone only to see a text from Anakin sitting on the screen. "Miss me?" It read. Her brow furrowed as she read it and looked up intent on opening the driver side door of her car only to find the seat already occupied by Anakin. "Miss me?" He asked, a cocky smirk on his face.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked. "I thought you went home hours ago."

Anakin gave a shrug. "Thought about it, decided to wait for you instead. Now get in we're going somewhere."

Padme shifted her weight and checked her watch. "It's one in the morning. I just want to go home and go to sleep."

"Just get in," He said, cocking his head to the passenger seat. "You can sleep on the way. Now come on."

She crossed her arms and looked around the parking lot for a moment as she tried to calculate how long it would take him to give up this ridiculous idea and just go home. But as the minutes passed, she remembered how persistent he was when he really wanted something. And the determined look in his eyes told her she wasn't going to win this time. With a sigh, she shook her head and she climbed into the passenger seat.

He smiled and leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Just rest now, Angel. It's a long drive where we're going."

"And where is that exactly?"

He held a finger to his lips, "It's a surprise," He said, turning over the engine and pulling out of the parking spot and navigating the lot to the street. "Just rest," He said again.

Padme yawned and leaned to rest her head against the window, deciding to listen to him if only so she would have enough energy to lecture him later, though in truth it was because she was just too tired to stay awake any longer.

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She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep. But as the car came to a stop and the soothing vibrations ended, her eyes cracked open slightly, squinting against the light of the Sun peeking through the trees. Beside her, Anakin sat with his hands still on the wheel and his eyes looking straight ahead. Padme turned to see what he was looking at and her breath caught when she saw the house they were parked in front of.

Anakin got out of the car and popped the trunk, pulling out a suitcase. Without a word to her, he wheeled the bag to the steps before carrying it up and disappearing behind the wall of the house. Fumbling with the door handle, she climbed out of the car and walked slowly as her legs tingled from sleeping in the cramped space of the car all night. She looked up as she came to stand at the bottom of the steps. Anakin must have gone inside to bring the bag to the master suite. Slowly, she started to climb up, taking in the warm light the sun cast on the steps to the familiar songs the morning birds sang. Even now at her lowest, this place still had the power to make her feel happy.

As much as she is grateful her husband has brought her here, she can't help but wonder what possessed him to drive all night just to get to the lake house. It wasn't a holiday and they both had to work on Monday so that would mean they would only be there for a few hours before having to leave for home again. What was he thinking?

Anakin emerged from the doors on the far side of the house. His eyes met hers a moment before he turned his back and went to lean against the railing, staring out over the lake. She shifted her feet several times before the curiosity of what he was planning got to her and she went to stand beside him. Her eyes darted between him to her left and the birds out in front of them. "Do you remember when we first came here?" He asked. "I kissed you for the first time right here," He said with a smile. "I told you I loved you for the first time in this house. We made love in this house… more times than I can count. I also married you twice on this very terrace," He turned his head to her at last and in the depths of his eyes, she could see how serious he was right now. Anakin was a fun-loving guy at heart. He liked to joke, play games, and enjoy whatever life gave him. Rarely was he ever serious unless it was required by his profession so for him to be as serious as he was right now, spoke volumes to how serious this was to him. "When I married you, I tied my life to yours. I swore to be there for you, to go through things with you. How can I do that when you don't tell me anything?"

Her gaze dropped to the stone railing, her fingers traced over the hard ridges of the rock as she gathered her thoughts. There was so much she felt and absolutely no words to describe it - at least not in a way he would understand. He's a man. The idea of children for men is completely different from a woman's. The way a father connects with a child isn't the same as a mother. For a woman, the connection is more physical and psychological, and in some ways, spiritual. Sola had said that carrying a child was the most difficult nine months of her life and yet also the most magical and most rewarding. Is it really too much to ask for the same thing? And how does she explain it to her husband?

She took a breath, "Ani… it won't make any sense to you."

He gave a shrug, "Help me understand it then." She fell silent again and he turned to face her fully, "I'm here with you for everything- the good and the bad. Nothing will ever change that." From the set of his shoulders, she knew he was determined to figure this out and who was she to deny him at least the chance?

"I've wanted a family for as long as I can remember. I also wanted to excel at my career. And in the end, I chose my career over a family so many times, and now that I'm ready, now that I have the perfect job, the perfect guy and everything feels like it's all going to fall into place…" She shakes her head and scoffs, "I can't. I waited too long."

Anakin nods and waited a moment to speak. "There are other options-"

"I don't want the other options," She snapped. "You don't get it. You will never understand what it's like to carry another life inside you. To feel their every move. To bring that child into the world. That's what I want. And you will never understand that. And neither will I, apparently."

He gave a shrug, "Maybe I won't ever understand it," He said. "But I don't need to to know how much you're hurting because of this. You won't talk to anyone and the people you have talked to, you've pushed them away," He shook his head, "I want you to be happy. And right now, there's really only one thing that can do it," He gave her a smile and she raised her brow at him, trying to read him before he spoke again. "We're going to make a baby," He declared, his eyes flashing dangerously as he looked into her eyes.

"We can't," She argued.

Anakin scoffed, "Says who? The doctor? They said unlikely. I don't know what dictionary you've read, but to my understanding unlikely and impossible are two completely different things."

"Even so," She argued, "What if it is? What if…" What if they don't conceive?

He smiled at her and gave her hand a squeeze. "If it really is impossible, we'll get through it together. Until then, let's make sure we don't waste what time we have left."

Padme thought about it for several minutes. While she was glad he was being optimistic, she was afraid to get her hopes up by it and the thought of all the negative pregnancy tests they would likely face terrified her knowing any one of them could be the last.

Anakin seemed to sense her fears and took her by the shoulders. "We'll do everything we can to make sure it happens," He said. "Take off work to limit stress, stop drinking, diet… whatever it takes," The corner of his lips curled into a determined half smirk. "I'm going to give you that baby," He promised.

Closing her eyes, she played his words over in her head again. She wanted to believe him. But the numbers told a different story - one she was used to listening to and one she based her professional decisions on. It was difficult for her to disregard that story for the sake of belief. And knowing Anakin had the same training she felt slightly envious he could rely on belief so easily. With a sigh, she nodded and opened her eyes to meet his and she knew he was strong enough to believe for them both.

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Anakin groaned as he shifted onto his stomach and buried his head under the pillow. He was tired. After everything had been somewhat resolved with Padme, they had spent the next two days just talking, slowly taking down the wall she had built between them and little by little, she let him in, revealing her fears, baring her soul to him again and allowing herself to lean on him and let him take some of the weight of her worries. It wasn't easy and the past few days had been filled with such emotional strife, he was glad on their final day here that they managed to leave things on a high note that culminated in the previous night's activities.

He was glad to know she had missed him just as much as he missed her. The last time they had been together with that much pent up sexual tension had been back when they had started dating again. And if he was honest with himself, the previous night had to be the most memorable night they'd had in a while.

The bed shifted beside him and he turned to face his sleeping wife. Her hair was messed and her mouth hung open adorably as she breathed softly. He couldn't resist leaning his head closer and kissing the tip of her nose. Her eyes wrinkled at the action and he smirked as he leaned to repeat the action several more times until her eyes cracked open. "Hi," He said, smiling lazily at her.

"Hi…" She returned, raking her eyes over his half covered form.

He smirked, "See something you like?"

She sighed and turned to lay on her side, pulling the sheets up to cover her chest. The smile on his face dropped at the simple action. She was having regrets. He tried to convince himself he was overreacting, that it didn't mean anything, that maybe she was cold or something. But the look in her eyes and the rueful sigh she gave told him all he needed to know before she spoke. "Ani… I don't think this is a good idea," She said.

"What do you mean?"

She gave a shrug, "I just… I feel like we're setting ourselves up for disappointment."

"I don't think that," He said. "And since when are you the pessimist? As long as I've known you, you've always tried to find the good in everything."

"Anakin-"

"-Listen," He cut her off, sitting up on his side to face her, "It won't be easy, but it is still possible. And so long as this is still what you want, I want to keep trying. I'd rather we fail than give up too soon." He watched her reaction carefully, practically hearing the wheels in her head turn as she tried to come up with a response. He knew his wife well enough to know how much she struggled choosing between logic and heart. For him it was easy. He almost always listened to his heart over logic and only bent to it in the most critical of times or when logic outweighed the other. For Padme, it was the opposite. She was the more logical of the two of them and it was a challenge for her to take a chance based on nothing more than hope. It was one of the reasons winning her love back was so difficult. But he was willing to work for it then, there was no reason for him not to this time.

Her eyes closed as she wordlessly shifted closer to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he ran his fingers through her hair, hoping to ease her troubled mind and help her to believe his words too. "I'm afraid," She mumbled into his chest.

His arms wrapped tighter and he let out a sigh, "I am too," He admitted. "But we're fine now, right?"

She was silent and he noticed her eyes on her hand as she traced lazy patterns on his chest. "No, not yet anyway… but we're getting there."

Anakin stiffened under her as he repressed the urge to argue but he knew she was right. They had only just started opening up about all of this and they had only scratched the surface of it. Healing would take time. But now that they were in it together, at least they could start.