I'm actually not entirely proud of this chapter. I feel like I lost my middle ground on this story because I keep thinking of where I want it to end, and ugh. But enjoy it, I'm sorry it's short and not the best... I'll try to do better next time.

Chapter V - Tell Me

"I know why I became the way I did."

The room was silent as soon as the words fell from Emma's lips. Her mind was swirling, wondering if Emma had remembered something else. She wanted answers, but she could tell by the nervous look on Emma's face that this was going to be a long process.

"Okay... can you elaborate?" Regina asks with caution in her voice.

"Uh, sort of... but first, will you do me a favor?"

"Uhm..." Regina draws out, looking curiously at her fiancée. "Okay. What?"

"Tell me about the first time we fell in love?" Emma's pleading eyes staring directly at Regina. She needed this answer like she needed the air she breathed. She wanted to know everything about their relationship, hoping every memory that Regina shared would be a stepping stone to their future. A glimpse of hope that she could hold on to so that she could fix her mistakes. She has no idea what exactly went wrong, only bits and pieces. But Emma knows that she has a lot of making up to do, and she knows it starts with knowing about their relationship.

Because when she looks at her fiancée, her heart lights up. And she can't really pinpoint it, at all. But she knows it's there, that love trying to break through the cracks and engulf her once again. Even without her memories, Regina was engraved in her heart, carved into her bones, flowing through her veins. She can tell that much by the sheer way her body reacts around her. How her heart thumps at the sight of her. How she feels warm standing a few feet away. How she feels like she's home when she's with Regina, regardless of the context. And she never wants that feeling to go away.

There's no explanation, but the love is still there and Emma is trying to figure out what to do with it.

Regina lets out a long, exasperated breath as she averts her eyes elsewhere, looking away from the pleading look on Emma's face. The tears start to well up in her eyes as she remembers the day in question that Emma is talking about. It was painful that Emma doesn't remember falling in love with her. The more she thinks about it, the more it hurts. But Emma wants to know and Regina is willing to answer whatever questions her fiancée had as long as Emma was willing to do the same.

"Okay... but promise me that you'll tell me what happened to you afterwards." Regina asks.

"I promise, I'll tell you everything." Emma assures.

"So, it was a couple of months after you first asked me out. We were no longer roommates, but it didn't stop you from bothering me... I mean, you were annoying at first, but after awhile, it was actually really sweet how much you paid attention to me." Regina chuckles as she wipes a few stray tears away from her cheeks. "Anyway, we had been dating for a couple of months and this one night, you took me on this really wonderful date. It kind of reminded me of our first date, the one I jokingly agreed to go on. But you were so considerate and sweet that first night, and every day leading up to this date, that I couldn't think of any other place I'd rather be than with you."

Regina pauses and takes a deep breath. As the memories from their past come flooding in, Regina can feel herself start to suffocate. It made her wish none of this would have ever happened.

"So, you took me on this date, but you wouldn't tell me why. It was those little mysterious things about you that I adored so much. We ended up at the public library in town and I was beyond confused as to why you would bring me here, but you assured me it was all part of the plan. So we walk into this library and you were super excited, but also super anxious. And I'm still standing there like 'why in the hell did my girlfriend bring me to a library?'. The next few minutes kind of passed by in a blur, but a really happy one. Your name had been called and you were introduced in front of me and all of these little kids, no older than 10. You got up and you read this eloquent story about how a swan fell in love with a queen. 'The Swan would watch the Queen stroll past the lake everyday, and admired her beauty. When the Queen noticed the swan, the swan couldn't stay away. The more time the Queen spent at the lake, the more the swan fell in love with her.' It took me a minute to realize it, but you had written this kid's fairytale about us."

Emma's leaning forward, her non-broken arm holding her chin up as she listens intently to Regina's story, feeling her heart ache and melt at the same time.

"When I finally connected the dots, your story had ended and you came up to me. You were nervously biting your lower lip; that was definitely your anxious habit. But then you stopped trembling and told me in these exact words: 'I hope I didn't jump the gun here with my feelings and all, but ever since I met you, I knew I needed you. And now that I have you, I know that I love you. I'm in love with you and I hope you feel the same because I'm scared shitless.' And I was sold. Well, I kind of was before, but I didn't know that you felt the same way I did until then. Since then, we've been practically inseparable."

Emma nods understandingly as she lets the story, the memory that she had forgotten settle in the forefront of her brain. And she even wonders where she went wrong. How she could be so caring and sweet, and then completely snap. Her mind focuses back to her conversation with Peter and she shudders at it. Emma had become so overwhelmed in stress that she had let it change who she was. And she hated herself for it, for hurting someone she had loved. She felt weak knowing that she let people she hardly knew to allow her to become something she wasn't. Something she never in a million years thought she would be. And now, she remembers nothing. She only has what she's been told and she knows it's her fault.

"Until I changed..." Emma says softly, avoiding eye contact with Regina.

Regina's silent for a few seconds before she speaks up. "Yeah... until then..."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Regina questions as she looks at Emma expectantly. But the blonde won't look up from the ground.

"When I went to the DOC, I ran into someone I apparently hung out with in the past... He- he told me what happened the night of my accident. The things I had said about our relationship. I- I royally fucked up, Regina." Emma admits as a few stray tears fall down her cheek. She lifts her head and looks sadly at Regina. "I can think of nothing to justify my previous behavior... but I guess I was stressed, worn out, and I don't think I was ready to be a parent. And I think I was too scared to tell you, and it caused all of this. And I'm sorry, so terribly fucking sorry that I never told you what was going on. I let them influence me and I- I was a fucking idiot."

Emma's eyes return their gaze toward the ground as the room fills with silence. She knew she didn't have all the answers she needed to give to Regina, but it was a start.

"I'm sorry I can't give you anything more than that, but I just- I can't remember exactly how I was feeling. All I know is that his story has to hold some merit, some truth. They tried to talk me into leaving you and said I contemplated it at one point in time. That I would always complain about our relationship and how I felt neglected." Emma chokes up.

"You felt neglected?"

"I guess... I don't know. I only know what he told me I had said. And I don't know how much of it I should believe." Emma shrugs her shoulders. "But regardless of what I said or didn't, I caused this. I made these mistakes. I was childish and stupid, but I want to make it up to you, if you'll let me."

"Emma, I- I appreciate the honesty. And of course, I want this to work but I'm honestly terrified that it won't be different the second time around. And I know I shouldn't feel this way, but can you blame me?" Regina sighs.

"No, I can't blame you. It was my fault, Regina. But kind of knowing what I did wrong, knowing what I know now... I can make sure I don't follow that same path again." Emma tries to reassure. "I'm not saying I'll be perfect, but I want to try... for you, for us. I can't explain anything because my mind is blank. But as I told you before, I have this warmth in my heart whenever I'm near you. And I know I don't deserve you after what I did, but I don't want to lose this feeling. Please, Regina, just give me one more chance?"

Emma looks at Regina with pleading eyes, and Regina wants to instantly cave and give in, but she knows it's not as easy as that. If she and Emma were to attempt to save their relationship and start from scratch, it would take a lot of effort out of both of them. Emma's ready and willing to take that huge step backwards to the beginning, but Regina is still unsure. And Emma can tell. She notices Regina thumbs twiddling together in nervousness, the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Let me do the best I can." Emma says as the silence grows unbearable. "I'll do anything."

4 Years Ago
"Oh, come on Regina." Emma begs. "One date, that's all I'm asking for."

"You're impossible, Swan, you know that right?" Regina rolls her eyes.

"I mean, yeah." Emma shrugs her shoulders. "But it'll be fun, I swear."

"Your definition of fun isn't one I would consider... how do I put this? Well, fun."

"You just don't want to go out with me because you're scared I'll actually be someone you could like." Emma analyzes.

"Oh, you got me." Regina says sarcastically. "How could I ever live without you?"

"Not cool." Emma huffs out, crossing her arms. "Can't I take you on one date? Please? I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Regina raises an eyebrow. "Will you stop asking me if I say yes?"

"If you actually mean it." Emma replies.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Emma immediately lights up. "For real?"

"Sure, Swan." Regina slightly jokes. "But after this one date, you're not asking me again."

"I'll never have to ask again." Emma smiles. "You're going to love it. I promise."

Present Day
"Regina?" Emma asks softly. It had been a few minutes and the brunette hadn't spoken a word and Emma was growing concerned of what her answer may actually be.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Emma questions with a small half smile. "For real?"

Regina's thrown off guard by the déjà vu and simply nods. It really was like before they had started dating. Emma was once again that slightly annoying, pressing child, but that was the Emma that she fell in love with and she can't help but wonder if giving it another shot would be better the second time around.

"Yes, but... if it doesn't work out this time, Emma, I'm done. Okay? All of this has caused so much heartache and I know I'm partly to blame... But-"

"I didn't talk to you, Regina. I kept it inside, I let it build up. I want to take full blame for what happened. Even if you had caused little things that made me feel the way I did, I let it get to me instead of talking to you, and I lost my memory because of that." Emma shrugs, reaching across the couch to grab Regina's hand. "But I know this, now. I understand things that I obviously didn't before. And I will be better, I swear."

"Don't-" Regina starts but is instantly cut off by Emma.

"Make promises I can't keep." Emma finishes her sentence. "I'm not, Regina. I want to prove to you that we can do this, together. That I'll be a better person. I already called Dr. Whale and got your next ultrasound appointment off of work so I can be there. I'm trying, okay? I know I won't be perfect, but I want to make it up to you."

"You did all of that for me?" Regina asks with tears of happiness welling up in her eyes. Emma nods. "But you don't even remember our entire relationship."

"But I loved you. I can feel it in my heart. And I want that back, even if I have to make new memories." Emma admits. "I want to do it right this time. Which is why I also scheduled an appointment with Dr. Hopper so I can learn how to talk about my feelings so that I never hurt you again. You're more than welcome to join me, if you think it's best. Maybe shed some light on our relationship and what you were feeling so I can better understand what each of us was going through?"

"Okay." Regina croaks out. She was crying and it's not like it was a bad thing. She was crying because Emma was trying so hard to get her back even though the last four years were wiped from her memory. Even without them, Emma still wanted her back and it made her heart swell and break at the same time. "If you want to start over, we can try."

"I want nothing more than that." Emma smiles.

Regina mirrors her smile and gently squeezes Emma's hand. And even though she was still absolutely terrified, she was looking forward to see where this second chance would take them.

"And I know exactly where to start."

BLAH. It was alright. Next one will hopefully be better.