Okay, so... I know I say this a LOT, but once again, not entirely proud of this one. It feels redundant and blah blah blah.
There's going to be a time jump, however, between this chapter and the next so maybe I can actually write something that doesn't feel like something I've written before...

Chapter VI - Deatta Koro No Yō Ni (Like When We First Met)

Video Log: November 23, 2010

"Okay, I'm heading out. I'll see you soon." Emma smiles as she kisses Regina goodbye. "I love you."

"I love you, too, babe." Regina hugs Emma one last time. "Be safe, okay? And tell Killian I say hi."

"I will. I'll miss you."

The videos fast forwards through a bunch of clips until Emma's dead center on the screen in the backseat of a car.

"Hey, babe. So I'm currently in Storybrooke, Maine; where you grew up." Emma says as she looks out the windows. "And I know that you think I'm just spending a few days in New York with Killian, but there's a lot more to the story than that. I won't show you this until after New Years, but you know me... I have to document everything. I just know if I show you this video before my big plan, you'll know and I want it to be a surprise."

Emma gets out of the car and turns the camera to face the grounds of a cemetery. She walks a couple of hundred feet before she kneels in front of two headstones. The camera Killian was holding showing Emma in front of the graves of Henry and Cora Mills, laying a bouquet of flowers down before she starts talking.

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Mills..." Emma says softly. "I know that I never got the chance to meet you, but from what your daughter has told me, I know I'm missing out. You were great parents and I know that she misses you so much."

Emma sighs as she takes her sunglasses off. "So, I'm sort of traditional and I wanted to ask you both a very serious question. It's kind of odd, I guess, that I'm here because you both passed before Regina got to introduce me to you... but I want to marry your daughter. She is my life and she is everything good in the world. I love her with all of my heart, and I wanted so badly to ask for your permission to do just that. Marry the love of my life. So I hope I can do my best to love her and care for her for the rest of my days, and that I will be someone you would be proud of her marrying."

July 21, 2011

Emma wipes away the few stray tears that had fallen since she started watching the video. Luckily, she was a person who documented every happy moment of her relationship with Regina and copying them to a USB drive was Regina's idea to help Emma see their lives: to see how she was before the accident. And maybe to spark some of those memories in her brain. She knows that even if she never got them back, she could memorize that feeling that she got when watching her past self do everything right.

She only wish she fully knew where she went wrong. She knows what she has heard from Peter, but she still cannot fathom how she let two people influence her as much as they did to cause all of this. And she hated not knowing, but she also knows going to the DOC to interrogate a CO would not be the best course of action.

"Emma, you okay?" David asks as he walks up to his daughter in the break room.

"Yeah," Emma says as she slams her laptop lid down. "Regina gave me this USB a couple of weeks ago. I was just watching some of those videos I recorded while on break. I guess it's a good thing I documented everything."

"You did." David smiles as he sits down. "Sometimes a bit annoying because you always insisted and we constantly had to wait for you to set up your camera, but in the end, they captured some amazing memories."

"If I never get these back, at least I can know they happened. And I can push forward and save our relationship." Emma halfheartedly smiles.

"I know you can. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? Take a breather before you guys go see Dr. Hopper." David pats his daughter on the back.

"I can't." Emma shakes her head. "I really need as many hours as I can get. Regardless of what happens between Regina and me, I want to be able to support our son."

"Taking off three hours early isn't going to hurt you, Emma. You're on salary. You get paid the same regardless." David explains, while playfully rolling his eyes.

"Oh? I thought this was hourly." Emma chuckles. "Okay, if you say so, boss."

"I'll get Miss Lucas to cover the rest of your shift." David smiles, hugging Emma. "Go spend time with Regina. Okay? She needs you."

"So, Emma, tell me... what is the last thing you actually remember?" Archie asks, folding his hands over his knee.

Emma inhales sharply, looking out of the corner of her eye at Regina. "Uh, freshman year of college. Two weeks before the end of the first semester."

"Did you have any sort of feelings for Regina at that particular time?"

"Yes," Emma answers honestly. "Like when we first met, I was immediately attracted to her. And then I realized that I actually liked her, but I didn't want to admit to myself or to her. So I always just kept jokingly asked her out, hoping she'd eventually say yes."

"I see. And Regina, how did you initially respond to Emma constantly asking you out?" Dr. Hopper shifts the question to Regina.

"Originally, I thought she was doing it to be annoying. Then one day, I actually said yes and she was in disbelief. After a few moments of cockiness, she told me she was joking, but that since I agreed, she owed me a date. The rest is history." Regina presses her lips in a small smile. "I'd like to say something else, though..."

"Oh? Okay, go for it."

"As much as Emma wants to deny it, I think I'm also to blame for what happened." Regina admits. "My parents died in an accident a couple of weeks after Emma and I started dating. I was 19 and still really dependent on them since they never really wanted to let go of their little girl. Emma was there for me through all of it, the good days, the bad days. She stuck by my side and I think I maybe became way too dependent on Emma, expected too much out of her because of that. And maybe, initially, Emma was okay with that. She's such a caring person and always tries her hardest to make me happy. I know I started getting irritated when her behavior changed because I was so used to being dependent on her, and she wanted some independence. I pushed her too hard, too much. And for this to work, I know I need to not hold her to such high standards as I did before."

Regina sighs loudly and looks at Emma. "We both have to be able to do things ourselves and I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that. I was also immature and I think it's a huge part of why you ended up changing."

"I think Regina makes a great point. Thank you for sharing that." Dr. Hopper smiles.

"Wait a minute. Don't blame yourself, Regina. I was the one who got in an accident. I was the one who left drunk." Emma tries to argue. "I told you I wanted to take the full blame for this, regardless."

"But I was so reliant on you, Emma, for everything. And regardless of the decisions you made that night, you told your co-workers you felt neglected because I was taking up all of your time and I was the one who was needy. It wore you out and those actions, my behavior, led up to the point of your accident. You left drunk because I told you to leave me alone..." Regina reasons but Emma shakes her head.

"Just let me take the blame. I messed up and I'm paying for it."

"I messed up, too, Emma. And we're both paying for it. We were both to blame for the way things turned out, and we both have to work on ourselves while also working together." Regina slightly raises her voice. "Love isn't a one way street. I pushed you and I'm sorry. But if we want to get back to the way things were, we BOTH have to accept blame and we both have things to work on. We said we'd given us another chance, we. Not you, not I, we."

Emma goes to answer but is immediately stopped by Dr. Hopper. "I'm going to have to agree with Regina on this one. Emma, you made a poor decision when you left drunk and crashed your car. No one is saying that wasn't your fault. But what Regina is trying to add on to that was that because she expected so much out of you and got mad at you for always being out, you guys got into an argument that caused you to make that decision."

"But I'm the one who lost their memory. I'm the one who crashed!"

"And I'm the one who made you put my needs in front of yours. I'm the one who drove you away." Regina replies and Emma instantly shuts up. "Emma, we're both suffering here, in our own ways. When you lost your memories of our entire relationship, I lost you. Please, can we just work together like you said you wanted to? You're not going to be doing all the work like you did before your accident. I was foolish and I'm sorry for not seeing it in time. But we both know where we went wrong. I'm not letting you take all the blame. We decided to give this another chance, can we please just get through this together? With effort from both of us?"

Emma presses her lips together in silence. She had never really thought of Regina's side of things, but it's starting to make sense. What Peter had told her she said about their relationship. And Regina was admitting that she was wrong for being so dependent on her, for causing her to feel the way she did.

"Okay." Emma nods, looking at Regina. She grabs the brunette's hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Okay, yes, you're right. I'm sorry I keep trying to do everything by myself. I just- I felt like I needed to fully take the blame for what happened. And you're right, WE decided to start over. I appreciate your input, Regina, I do. And I will let you work on you, and you can help me remember how we were before this happened."

Regina looks at Emma out of the corner of her eyes and smiles, tears welling up as she feels her heart practically beat out of her chest. The look Emma was giving her have her butterflies and Regina felt like she was 19, again. It was that of complete and total adoration, the way Emma used to look at her when they started dating.

"I want nothing more than just that."

"Are you coming in?" Regina asks as she opens the car door and halfway exits the car.

Emma shakes her head. It was already pretty late and Emma knew she needed to go to bed soon. "I should probably get home..."

"Emma, this is your home. You know that, right?" Regina questions. "Just because you lost your memory doesn't mean I don't want you here..."

"I just- I figured with us starting over, you'd want your space, you know? I didn't want to rush things."

"We lived together for a year before we ever started dating." Regina explains as she slides back into the passenger seat. "Besides, I think it'll be good for us, you know, help us work on things together..."

"Are you saying-?"

"I want you back, Emma. Back home with me." Regina confirms and Emma's shocked by this sudden change in Regina. At first, she had been reluctant to even give them a second chance, but now, she wants her to move back in.

"You do?"

"I really do." Regina smiles hopefully. Her hand lands on Emma's cheek, her thumb rubbing circles against her skin. "I miss you, Emma. I miss waking up to you and spending time with you. I miss hearing you sing in the shower or while you make breakfast... I know you still aren't in love with me again, but maybe it'll help?"

"You really think that?" Emma asks with tear filled eyes and Regina nods. "I just- are you sure it's not rushing things?"

"I'm positive, Emma." Regina replies. "Here, how about this. Stay for a week in the guest bedroom. And we'll see how things go. It'll be just like college, again."

"It's just- a couple of weeks ago, you didn't even want to consider giving us a second chance. You were so guarded and scared you'd lose me." Emma reasons.

"Yeah, I was... but I know that if I ever want you back, I'm going to have to open up. And I'm sorry that I was so harsh to you, I know now it's not all your fault." Regina sighs. "Look, Emma... I'm absolutely terrified, I'm scared. But I can't let the fear of losing you consume me. If you don't think it's a good idea right now, then I'll understand."

"It's not that I don't think it's a good idea, I do. I just want you to be sure this is really what you want. I know you're scared, Regina. Scared I won't change, scared that it won't be different the second time around. I get that, and I know you said that we could try again…" Emma explains. "But I want you to be 100% sure you want me to move back in. I don't want to rush how you feel about this whole situation."

"In all honesty, Emma, this is what I want. Yes, I'm scared, but I love you. And I know I was skeptical at first, and you're right. I know I said I'd give this another try. And I meant it, I don't want to give up on us." Regina admits. "You told me yourself you know that deep down, that love is still there even if you can't remember anything… I just- after hearing you say it for the past month, I realized that we have a lot to work on, and I want you to be here so we can do that. It's hard enough being away from you, as is. And while I appreciate that you are being so thoughtful of me and my feelings with wanting to give me space, I've had enough time alone to think about this."

"Okay, if you're really sure…"

"I am," Regina reassures, grabbing Emma's hand. "I am 110% absolutely positive that this is something that I think would be good for the both of us."

Emma smiles widely at her and nods. "Alright. Then it's settled. Gonna give me the grand tour?"

"Sure, Swan." Regina says jokingly. "One grand tour of the Swan-Mills house coming right up."

Okay, so there's that.
Hopefully the next one will be... better.
Also, I'm thinking of maybe starting a new story and need help with figuring some things out. If you want PM me!