Connie blanked. He was...last? Yes, the very last one.
It hasn't become hell, it already was, Connie thought.
He took a deep breath muttering his last prayers before entering the cabin.
Connie could barely stand still. His legs were shaking, his stomach trying to climb it's way out through his mouth.
Shadis moved onto each recruit.
"And what is this nonsense?" asked Shadis, picking up a stuffed bunny.
"It's..uh..um.." Eren's face turned a bright red.
All the guys in the cabin tried to stifle a laugh.
"Men these days," Shadis muttered.
"You're clear," Shadis said.
Eren's face was still red.
Armin and Marco were clear, but then he moved on to Jean.
"Please, do tell me what this is," Shadis said in a dangerous voice, picking up a certain magazine.
"I...um..well you see...uh." Jean looked flabbergasted.
"UNACCEPTABLE! A WHOLE WEEK OF BATHROOM CLEANUP!"
Jean gulped. "Uh… yes, sir!"
"AND I'LL TAKE THAT." Shadis snatched the magazine.
"NEXT RECRUIT!" Shadis yelled.
This was it. He should have been ready for it, after all of the mental preparation. But, truth be told, he was absolutely terrified.
Well, here goes nothing, he thought.
"CADET CONNIE SPRINGER REPORTING."
"AT EASE SOLDIER."
Connie could only hold his breath while Inspector Shadis and his mates rummaged through his stuff.
"What in tarnation-" Marco stammered.
Damn, he found it. He'd been praying for the past 10 minutes that they wouldn't find it.
The boys gathered around Marco.
Their jaws dropped at his discovery.
Marco held a photograph, a dusty, worn-out photograph. However, you could still clearly see the horrific figure lying in front of them.
"Connie… you never told us that you used to have hair." Armin stuttered.
Indeed hair it was, and a head-full. For Connie's biggest secret laid in that photo. Connie and his enormous, gigantic, frizzy afro.
There was a pregnant pause. Then, it came. The crashing realization of Connie and his hilarious, big hairdo.
"Oh God Connie, I can't eve-" Jean and Eren were drowning in laughter.
"It does look rather ridiculous" Marco giggled.
Connie was horrified. There it was his secret revealed. He could see it now. The teasing he'd get. Connie's sullen thoughts were interrupted by Inspector Shadis' sharp turn.
"SILENCE!" His voice boomed.
Immediately the room silenced.
"WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?!"
Reiner was brave enough to speak up.
"This." he turned the photo towards Shadis.
A smile did not crack through. Not even in the slightest.
Until…
Shadis' hearty laughter filled the cabin.
"WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS" he hollered.
Laughter filled again, leaving Connie even more dampened.
He tried to speak but nothing came out. Except for a small squeak.
This, however, got everyone's attention.
Shadis cleared his throat "UH, THAT WILL CONCLUDE THIS CABIN'S INSPECTION." he marched out.
Thomas noticed Connie's expression.
"Uh, I guess we're sorry for laughing"
Connie made another squeak.
Everyone except Connie started to make their way out.
Eren and Jean were still grinning about it, while Armin and Marco apologized and Bertholdt just patted his shoulder.
"Well, now they know," Connie thought miserably.
Although he was embarrassed, Connie couldn't help but find the whole thing a bit amusing. There he was worried about them finding the picture, yet the worst that happened was that they laughed. He took a deep breath.
"Wait for me!" he hollered.
As the rest of the crew walked back, Marco felt something in his pocket. It was the photo.
"Huh? Oh..I should probably give this back to Connie." Marco realized.
He turned to hand it to Connie when Jean snatched it out of his hand.
"HEY! Give it back!" Connie tried to grab it, but Jean held it over his head.
"What? No way! Now that I've got this kinda dirt on you…" Jean smiled evilly.
Connie tried to get it back, but we all know how short our favourite baldo is.
"You're not serious are you?" Marco looked at Jean in disbelief.
"Stop him Eren! Eren?" Armin called out.
"And he's chasing a squirrel." Armin sighed.
"Classic."
They reached the main hall and took a seat.
"How did your inspection go?" Armin asked Mikasa.
"It was normal I guess."
"Where's Eren?" she inquired.
"Oh, he'll be coming." Reiner rolled his eyes.
"So Connie, find anything embarrassing?" Sasha had that maniacal glint in her eyes.
Connie's mind shot back to that.
Armin noticed his discomfort.
"We don't talk about that."
Connie silently thanked Armin.
Before Sasha could say anything else, they were once again they were interrupted by Inspector Shadis.
Keith Shadis stepped onto the platform.
The cadets rose to attention.
"AT EASE."
"THIS TERM'S INSPECTION HAS CONCLUDED. NOW FOR SOME HONORARY MENTIONS."
"CADET LENZ AND CADET ARLERT HAD A PERFECT SCORE ON THEIR INSPECTIONS."
The hall was filled with applause.
Christa blushed a deep red.
"NOW FOR OUR WALL OF SHAME."
Connie's stomach twisted as if it was a balloon animal.
He prayed it wouldn't be him.
"Look who's going up, Jaeger," Jean smirked at Eren, who'd arrived just in the nick of time.
"Shut up Kirstein." he grumbled.
"Why I'd oughta-" he started.
"KIRSTEIN"
Jean blanched.
"M-m-me…?
"UP."
He trudged along slowly, trying to ignore the laughs and snickers the audience threw at him.
This was truly shameful.
"NOW, WRITE YOUR NAME ON THIS PLAQUE." Shadis held up a brown, dusty plaque and tossed Jean a knife.
The crowd laughed as Jean's shaking hand engraved his name.
Jean could feel his cheeks flaring up.
"Keep at it HORSE-FACE!" Eren yelled, laughing his head of.
Jean shot a glare in his direction.
"NOW, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHY YOU ARE UP HERE."
"I...um...well… I sorta-"
"TELL US, WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN YOUR POSSESSION?"
"It… was… um…"Jean stuttered.
Shadis leaned his head real close to Jean's. He had that look, which made you want to immediately run away.
"Well…?" his voice dangerously low.
"A… a… p-porn m-magazine…" he was nearly in tears.
He turned around and observed the audience.
Dead silence, for a whole 15 seconds. Then-
Laughter, ripping through the fabrics of the sound barrier. The crowd was roaring!
Ymir, Reiner, Eren, Sasha and even Connie were cracking up. Marco, Christa, Armin, and Mina were giggling. Even Annie managed a smile. But Mikasa's look was pure disgust.
"Wow, Jean! Never took you for the pervy type!"
"Actually, screw that, I did!" Connie bellowed.
This was truly, the worst day of his life.
Karma is truly a bitch, he thought bitterly.
*Time skip*
Keith Shadis had just finished getting ready for bed.
"Well, this had been quite the eventful day," he thought.
He chuckled at the memory of his bald comrade and his distant headful of hair.
And Cadet Kirstein- oh dear, he'd have to do that again.
What really made his day, however, was his new find. He secretly thanked Cadet Kirstein, as he snuggled into bed with his newly found magazine.