Part 3! Enjoy!

Please note, though, that this is NOT a Clabastian fic. I'm not cool with incest. I just REALLY love making fun of Sebastian.

"I'm calling Child Protective Services."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow as he bounced a happy Lilith in his lap. "Why?"

Clary hissed, "Because, demon or not, no child should be subject to having you as a father. You're worse than Valentine."

"Really?"

"Yes," Clary growled. "Valentine was a monster. You're...worse. So much worse."

"How so?"

"Well, for one, you tried to rape me."

Sebastian scoffed. "You were a lot more fun to be around while you were unconscious."

"And you were a lot more fun to be around when you were dead, but I guess life is just full of disappointments."

"Harsh," Sebastian smirked. "Come on now, Clary. Won't you at least try to get along with me? You know Lilith is going to get lonely eventually. We'll have to make her some playmates-"

"By the Angel," Clary raked her fingers through her hair. "Does it seriously not bother you that those 'playmates' would be both your daughter's cousins and siblings?"

"Not really."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that Cersei and Jaime's relationship is not supposed to be idealized?"

Sebastian frowned. "I have no idea who those people are."

"They're brother and sister," Clary snapped. "Much like you and I, dumbass. Brothers and sisters are not supposed to hook up. How do you not understand that?"

"Things are different for us, Clarissa. We're not even the same species. How do you not understand that?"

Clary crossed her arms. "Then in that case, I suppose you'd be happy if Lilith started doing the nasty with one of her cousin-siblings?"

Sebastian bristled. "My daughter will not be doing anything with anyone, ever." He felt a strange protectiveness posses him; the mere thought of some vulgar-minded boy going anywhere near his daughter made his fists clench.

Clary snarled, "You're a hypocrite."

"How so?"

"You've slept around with probably more women than you can remember, and you've made it crystal clear time and time again what you want to do to me, but the thought of your daughter following in your footsteps repulses you because she was born a girl."

"Yes," Sebastian said. "I am a man, Clarissa. I know what men want, what men think—we're vile creatures, little sister. Forgive me if I want to protect my daughter from the likes of us."

"Yeah? Well why can't you protect me from the likes of you, too?"

"You've nothing to fear from me, Clarissa." Sebastian smirked. "My intentions are honorable. We're going to save the Morgenstern bloodline—"

"—ew, so not happening—"

"—and maybe do some kinky stuff in the process, just for fun." He covered Lilith's tiny ears at that last part, grinning wickedly.

"You're gross." Clary glanced out the window at the barren wastelands of Edom. "Hey, Jace? Any time would be great now, sweetie."

Meanwhile at the Institute…

"Sweet Raziel, please let this work…" Jace carefully reached for the ripe yellow mango sitting on the table. He picked it up with no problem. Just as he was about to start celebrating, however, the fruit burst into flames and then dissolved into a pile of ash. Heartbroken, Jace sucked in a deep breath and whispered, "What's the point in living?"

Back in Edom…

Sebastian set Lilith in her crib; she was swaddled in the same wooly blanket she'd been delivered in, sleeping peacefully. The Lord of the Endarkened smiled down at her. Warmth fluttered in his chest. Sweet dreams, my little demon.

He left the room, making sure to close the door quietly as he departed. Clary was still sitting in the ornate grand room when he returned, glaring out the window and tapping her fingers on the chair's armrest. Scowling as she was, she looked lovely in the dim light of the lit fireplace. Sebastian felt something stir deep in his abdomen. He bit his lip and flashed a cunning smile.

"Sister."

"Shithead."

Sebastian's mouth twitched, but he let the insult slide. "I'm bored."

"Boo-fucking-hoo."

"Come on, Clary," Sebastian drawled, letting the door click shut behind him. "Don't be like that."

His sister tensed. "Jonathan…"

"Let's have some fun, shall we?" Sebastian purred. "Some quality brother-sister bonding time. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Clary stood up. "Keep on being a creep and I swear, I will rip your nutsack off."

He flicked the top button of his shirt open. "I love it when you talk dirty to me, little sister," Sebastian murmured, taking a languid step towards her.

"Rip it," Clary said again. "Like, clean off. You think I'm kidding?"

"No," Sebastian shook his head, popping yet another button open. "I don't. I know you'll try—and that's what's going to make this fun." He smirked. "Now, let's get to work on those sibling-cousins, shall we?"