A/N: I blame—oysters. Fat, furry oysters.
Beta Love: The Dragon and the Rose, Dutchgirl01, Commander Shepard
(Last time on X-Files voice) And now the conclusion of: Mischief Managed
Mischief Managed Chapter 7
Ties That Bind
Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love! - Sitting Bull
Taboo Lifted on Voldemort
(He's Really Gone This Time!)
The Dark Lord Voldemort, whose real name was revealed to be Tom Marvolo Riddle, made an unprecedented raid on the inner sanctum of the Goblin Nation: Gringott's. Head Goblin, Gnarlhook, stated that nothing was stolen, but a goblin was put under the Imperius curse in order to reach what has been named the "temple" to those fortunate enough to visit it.
"It was once believed that Voldemort was destroyed when his first Horcrux, a diary, was destroyed by Basilisk fang, but instead it had crippled him, taking out so many Death Eaters that it was believed he was dead. In truth, he hadn't had a body to be destroyed, and through a Dark ritual, he was reborn, weak, but alive. The damaging of his Horcruxes forced him to recruit in silence and influence even more insidiously. However, when he realised there was still power left in some of his Horcruxes, he strove to hide them in the safest place in all of Gringott's. That did not end quite the way he had intended," Arianna Bellwhistle-Smythe, spokesperson for the Department of Mysteries, stated. "We believed he had caused his own demise through the use of a Dark magic ritual that backfired, which was not an illogical presumption, as it has happened many times before throughout Wizarding history. His decision to keep a low profile ever since his return only helped in this. Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for us, there was a reason that the safest place in all of Gringott's truly is the safest place in all of Gringott's."
As if to prove the finality of the true end of the Dark Lord Voldemort, an unexpected affliction swept through Wizarding Britain, causing—
Well, I'm not sure how to describe this, ladies and gentlewizards, but a book affliction.
A number of people, all of which have been confirmed as Death Eaters and Dark wizards and witches all, have transformed into a strange series of literature. Each seems to be a biography named after the witch or wizard in question, emblazoned with Dark mark, and sharing a title of some variant of:
Biography of (name):
A Death Eater's End with the Dark Lord Voldemort.
A Tale of Seductive Power, Bigotry, and Abuse
The Dark tomes have been herded up by the Aurors and incarcerated in a special holding facility to insure there are no unexpected surprises released on the magical citizens of Britain.
Even more puzzling, a strange rash of pointy-eared, yellow eyed, grey-furred books with covers that resemble a werewolf head, were found gathered together outside Wroxham, perhaps in preparation to attack unwary children. The biggest book, helpfully adorned with the name "Fenrir Greyback" in bold silver letters, made the identification fairly simple to verify.
Ironically, two people who were thought to be living their lives out as animated literature, Ginevra and Ronald Weasley, have been reported released from St Mungo's last week, given a clean bill of health and have no recollection of where they've been for the last several months. The Weasley family requests that they be given privacy to welcome home their much-missed family members.
When the DoM was asked how they can be sure that Voldemort will not return this time, Spokesperson Arianna Bellwhistle-Smythe said that their sources on this occasion were absolutely beyond reproach.
When questioned as to the identity of their source, the press-conference was, unfortunately, closed to further questions.
Interdepartmental Memo
From: Fury, Nicolas
To: Department, All
RE: Britain
Okay, people.
I'm only going to say this once more. Leave all rescue activity in Britain to Britain. Hell, leave all of the UK/EU/whatever alone. If you feel a mission is necessary to deal with someone or something that is squatting over there, you need to send a formal inquiry to our contact, Griphook, using the special mailbox in the lobby of Gringott's New York. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you haven't gone through the right channels, and I better not see your name come up on the unauthorized flight list. I don't care if your classification is class five or you're fit only to be a janitor, you will need signed and sealed documents brought to my desk before I approve any travel to that area. If any of you think you are above this, you would be wrong. If you decide to ignore my warning, if there is anything left of you to bring back home, your clearances will be wiped, and I will make sure you are not employable in any place from here to Punjab, and you'll only be able to find work as a sherpa climbing Mt. Everest or counting penguins in Antarctica.
We lost way too many people following that bogus tip from Sigyn, and Ms. Sigyn will continue rotting in our lowest detention cell until we finally get the truth out of her. As it is, we owe the Sorcerer Supreme big for repairing our ability to travel to Britain at all, and I'm not referring the extensive repairs needed on our aircraft!
If you have any further doubts as to what may happen to you if you ignore this warning and go to that area without obtaining permission from the proper channels, we have left the unrepaired wreckage of our last MR-52Z vertibird shrined in our main atrium as a testament to what happens when we run off half-cocked without verifying our tipster's motives.
Now, for those of you with family in Britain, you can apply for a family travel permit at Gringott's NY. You will need to make an appointment to fill out the paperwork using a quill and ink. It has to be legible. Printouts will not be accepted. For those of you with personal owls, you may apply via Gringott's London, care of Griphook.
Books are Happy to Greet You at Gringott's Library
Not a book fan? These books may change your mind.
Gringott's has opened up a library that serves as a waiting area for family and friends while others take care of business at Gringott's. Inside is a collection of tomes ranging from practical, informative, and entertaining. But, most unique are a rampaging horde of highly social, very entertaining, animated books.
"Think the Monstrous Book of Monsters, only cuter and much more well behaved," librarian Rupert Giles said. "As long as you treat them well, they will even do tricks for you."
Books? Doing tricks?
Indeed.
First visitors to the library are given a short class on animated book handling, and after that they are welcome to come in, browse, read, or just sit in the comfy chairs as they wait for their family or friends to finish their business with Gringotts.
While some people are wary after what has been described as the Death Eater Book Plague that swept Britain, most visitors are utterly charmed by the happy, bouncing, and even purring books.
"It's quite therapeutic," a visitor stated. "I think I come here just to destress after work."
All are welcome to come and visit the newest addition to Gringott's London, however, all must sign a disclaimer on the first visit that they have gone through the handling orientation and swear they will not engage in book violence.
"Nothing you wouldn't expect at any library, really," Librarian Giles stated.
As promised, Harry became a hunter with the help of Theo and some of the other young Jötunn hunters— not for the sake of prophecy but for helping feed the serpentlets. Yet, while he fed them physical foods, what he didn't seem to realise was that he was feeding them a meal of faith as well. It was a faith that was growing, maturing, and becoming stronger without his realising it.
Strangely, he had a companion through his journey to putting the past behind him— namely Voldemort— and it came in the unlikely form of Bella Lestrange.
Bellatrix was dead, or perhaps she had never truly existed except as a construct of Tom Riddle's. The new, or rather old, Bella was a compassionate soul— the kind of person that Harry realised he was glad there was more to her than what he'd come to know previously.
Harry realised that while his stabbing the diary back when he was much younger had taken out much of Tom Riddle's power base, it hadn't taken them all out, but it had given them some peace of mind to build a life without the Dark Lord, even if it had been only illusionary.
Perhaps, the fact Lucius appeared at all should have tipped them off, but his scar had given them the warning they truly needed, only this time he had been wise enough to tell someone about it.
The end result— well, those furry oysters were damn tasty and prolific little (er, huge) buggers. The serpentlets enjoyed diving into the surf and prying the furry treasure chests off the shelves, and it seemed no matter how many they ate, there were plenty more the next day.
After a long series of conferences with Dumbledore, the Order, and the DoM (otherwise known as Those Who Actually Knew What Was Going On) they pieced together what had truly happened— especially when every remaining person that had ties with the oysterfied Dark Lord started sprouting neon-coloured fur, lost all their teeth, and transformed into a toothless, angry book on oyster cultivation.
This time, for sure, everyone believed the Dark Lord was well and TRULY dealt with. The proof was, well, in the eating. Literally.
After about a hundred or so random books on oyster cultivation showed up in various highly public places, all with the Dark Mark as a publishing marking on the spine. Aurors herded them up, and a new tank full of Death Eaters gone book filled up one room of the DoM. The tank was labeled: Death Eater Literature.
When they put a bunch of grey-furred, yellow-eyed books with strangely wolf-like ears into the mix, one of the Unspeakables commented, "I'm not sure those working on a cure for lycanthropy ever considered this."
Harry was happy to note that it seemed to only be Fenrir's rejects and the main psychopath himself that had been inflicted. Remus had owled from Australia saying that he'd been studying with the local aborigines, and since then he'd been transforming into an overgrown, albeit hungry, wolf three times a month, but he was acting like a hungry wolf— not a homicidal monster. Most importantly, he was safe around his family. He and Tonks were expecting, and Harry was glad to see that Remus was not only happy but finally at peace.
Finding out Fenrir was sprouting fur full-time and jumping around in an aquarium of books, however, probably didn't hurt.
Gods only knew, Harry was having a lot of therapy considering the end of the reign of the Dark Lord Voldemort, now known, at least to those in the know, The Lord of Oysters.
Every month of so, one of the Jötunn would dive into the oyster reef and find the particularly distinctly fat oyster, pry open its jaws, and pluck out a huge dark pearl the likes of which the Realms had never seen before. Since the immortal oyster could not die, the process was repeated regularly, and the pearls went to adorn the altar of the Great Frost Mother. Sometimes, the goddess would decide a pearl was to go to someone, and it would roll off the altar and bonk into someone's foot or land right in their hands. Those who were gifted with them wore them proudly.
Harry wondered if the Dark Lord was aware on some level— trapped forever giving birth to countless highly edible children. Of all the ways he would list on how to spend eternity, Harry made sure to put "Don't piss off the Jötunn's goddess" on the top of the list.
Words for life, really.
That would go for just about any god or goddess, he supposed. Even though he saw a distinct difference in how the gods and goddesses of faith cultured their power base compared to those like the Asgardians. Frankly, the faith-based divine were scary.
He had to admit that the ones he knew more personally were deeply rooted in his life.
After the Dark Lord met his oystery end, er, beginning as it were, Hermione seemed to realise that while some people didn't have the option for forgiveness, perhaps others had done their time and perhaps deserved some time to prove they could be better. Maybe, Harry thought, it was her letting go of the past, a mortal senses of justice and taking on the greater and heavier responsibility of a goddess who had to have both a heavy and forgiving hand.
That, and Harry believed that the greater good, and he did so loathe that turn of phrase nowadays, the Weasleys had been through enough. Maybe, he thought, they had mustered up a little of their own faith, and the Quetzalcoatls were not the type to allow that sort of thing to go unnoticed.
Harry twitched as he tried to make nice at the Weasley family dinner. He was invited, of course, all the time, but he never quite felt like he was truly a part of the family— not since school when he was so desperate for a loving anything that he would do anything— ignore anything— for a chance at that better life. It was not to say that the Weasleys were a bad family. There was no doubt that Mr and Mrs Weasley loved their kids. Harry had just…
Ron and Ginny were now sitting at the table again; Ginevra had her quite literal mate at her side— a maroon-furred, erm, haired individual who was always near her— just as Ginny preferred it. Ronald, of course, was a mixed bag. One could say he had learned his lesson, of sorts, but Molly had every book in the Burrow moved to storage just to make sure he didn't slip up and abuse one again, lest it come to life and send him back into the throes of bookism once more. Harry wasn't sure if that counted as recovery at all.
What Molly didn't know, however, was that Fred, George, and Arthur had made a pilgrimage to the quetzalcoatl temple— not to see Hermione but to leave offerings to the resident gods in the hopes to curry a forgiveness for their errant family members. So many came to the temple nowadays that few would even notice one more group, yet Harry had. He knew them personally.
Arthur had left his most prized Muggle board game. Fred had left a Quidditch World Cup program autographed by the entire Irish team, and George had left a very rare Godric Gryffindor chocolate frog card. But, it hadn't been the objects that had truly caught Hermione's ear and that of her mate. No, it had been the sincere prayer and the song of so much loss and even how much they valued in what little they did have.
Harry hadn't really thought Arthur (or even Fred and George) were the spiritual type, but he also realised that he hadn't been much for it either until very recently. Harry had the divine doing cartwheels in front of him on a daily basis, so it was almost expected. Arthur and the twins had only an inkling of what Hermione was due to the Quibbler interview by the ever overzealous Xenophilius. The truth was, most people, regardless of what place they heralded from, put gods in a different compartment than one Master Hermione Granger-Snape. To most, no matter how much you studied and how many credentials you earned, it didn't equate to godhood. Then there were people like Tom Riddle, who were self-proclaimed gods on Earth, and Harry knew how that had ended.
Not well for him.
Very well for the Great Frost Mother's favoured people.
As the evening came to a close, Harry contained his sigh of relief and placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Hey, Mr Weasley, could we maybe speak for a moment?"
"Sure, Harry, and it's Arthur," the elder Weasley said with a smile.
"I already spoke with Fred and George before they had to go back to tend the shop, but I wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner with us at the Quetzalcoatl temple next Friday. It's going to be a family affair. Ma— married folk with young children mostly."
"Oh, wonderful," Arthur said. "I had no idea you were so close to the caretakers there, what with living with Sirius and all at old Grimmauld."
Harry tugged his collar. "I actually moved quite some time ago, a bit before You-Know-Who met his final end."
"Oh?" Arthur said, scratching his head. "I'm sorry, Harry, I feel like I should have known this."
"It's okay. It was back when I wasn't visiting as much after Ron accused me of "fraternising with the enemy" when I opened the brewery with Draco and Theo."
Arthur winced.
"On the bright side, there will be free drinks for everyone," Harry laughed, defusing Arthur's guilt on his son's behalf. "Luna had us create a new liqueur called the Black Pearl and she insists we have people try it at the dinner." Harry averted his eyes. "I think she's celebrating being able to drink again."
"I heard she had a baby recently. Molly made her a baby quilt," Arthur recalled. "Xenophilius was so proud, he couldn't help telling us the news."
Harry smiled, hiding his exasperation with Xenophilius as most did. He, unlike so many others, meant well, but he was a little like Hagrid in that he'd unintentionally expose secrets trying to cover up secrets. Luna said there was just so much stuff in her father's head that he really needed to get bitten by a Pirodact or something she'd said— he really had no idea what she was talking about. Piro? Pyro? Oh well.
It wasn't like he could see what she was talking about anyway, and he wasn't alone in that.
The Lovegoods had always been on good terms with the Weasleys, being neighbours and all, but while Luna kept out of Wizarding affairs in favour of her new family and protecting what had made it possible, Xenophilius was as eccentric as ever. Thankfully, most people treated the idea that there were actually quetzalcoatls in Gringott's in the same vein as they treated dragons or avid rumours. They were all "stories" to keep people from robbing the Goblins.
It was all fine and well. So far, at least, there had been not a peep out of Rita Skeeter— and that was both a relief and worrysome. Sure, she was serving time for being an illegal Animagus, trespass, manipulation of people, and so on, but if anyone could manage to write horrible lies and twist the truth from prison, it would be Rita Skeeter.
Then again, after Alastor finally found out the reason why they'd never been able to catch her at anything— the witch was probably serving time trapped in amber.
Even Sirius had finally "registered" officially— even if it was under the duress of having been captured and locked up in a Muggle animal shelter after getting rip-roaringly drunk and coming alarmingly close to getting himself neutered so he could be rendered "suitable for adoption." Remus was probably cackling himself into a lupine stupor somewhere in Australia. He wondered if he should ship the werewolf few special "wolfy books" to amuse himself with, but he figured the DoM was not going to allow Fenrir Greyback out of their sight, book or not.
That and absolutely no one wanted to dive into the book habitat in the lowest bowels of the DoM cells. They had learned early on that attempting to Accio any one book ended up with all of them landing on your face as they rabidly attempted to gum you to death. If anything, they could potentially smother you to death, and that would be a most humiliating way to go.
At the very thought of Fenrir, Pitch wriggled out from under his arm and popped out two new "wolf ears" looking very much the pink wolf-book, much to Harry's amusement. He pet her between the ears, rubbing them until her eyes crossed, and hurriedly stuffed her back under his robes before Ginny saw her and came completely unglued. It was bad enough that Molly had "donated" her grandbooks to the goblins just so her daughter would stop continually fussing over them like they were her real kids.
Harry knew better than to even hint at the truth there. That included the tale of how Ginny had met her mate, erm, husband. Arthur suspected, but if he truly knew the truth, he wasn't saying. To his credit he wasn't asking either. Don't ask; don't tell.
"I think my Molls has plans with our Ginny. Morning sickness, I think, so she's doing the mothering thing, but would be glad to come, Harry."
Harry smiled in reply. "Great."
"What time?"
"Oh, say, around six?" Harry said. "Dinner won't be until around seven, but it will give you time to meet and greet."
Arthur grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Harry."
Arthur hadn't even gotten to the dinner table before he was assaulted by unkittens, tentacula seedlings, booklets, and a partridge without its pear tree.
"Nngah!" Arthur groaned, making happy sounds as he pet them all, even the tentacula seedlings seemed happy to meet him. One, in particular, decided to nest in his hair and ever so often wriggled a tentacle so he resembled Medusa.
"He hasn't even managed to get to dinner yet," Loki commented, tilting his head to the side to stare curiously at Arthur.
"I don't think he's going to make it, daddy," Raina said, peering at the buried Arthur as she did a loop-de-loop in the air and stuck out her blue forked tongue.
"Only because he's turning blue," Vidar said, shooing an excited booklet off Arthur's nostrils and mouth with his tail.
"But, we didn't even get to introduce ourselves!" Naseem complained, making an infinity shape in the air.
Arthur finally managed to sit up on the couch, sending a cascade of booklets tumbling into his lap with disappointed squeaks. He opened his eyes to find seven serpentlets hovering in front of him, swaying back and forth.
"Hi!" they chimed together.
Arthur's eyes grew wide as the headlights on his enchanted Ford Anglia.
"Mummy says we have to introduce ourselves before asking for hugs," Yoki said. She bobbed her head and swished her rainbow tail. "I'm Yoki."
"Raina."
"Itzel."
"Natsu."
"Geir."
"Vidar"
Naseem was caught chewing on Loki's ear playfully and stopped, eyes wide. "Naseem," he added, grinning with this fangs glinting.
"Introductions complete," Yoki said. "May we hug you now?"
Arthur made soundless words with his mouth for awhile. "Okay?"
FWOOOOMPH!
All seven serpentlets tackle-hugged Arthur with a simultaneous "Welcome to our home!" sending the poor wizard tumbling backwards onto the couch again.
Ronald chose that moment to swagger into the room and he quickly spotted Harry. "Oi, Harry! Have you seen my dad?"
Harry tugged uncomfortably at his collar as Arthur groaned, his voice muffled by the enthusiastic smothering of the serpentlets, unkittens, tentaculas, and one pesky partridge.
"What's with the partridge?" Ron asked, baffled.
Harry stared. "Erm, is that all you see?"
"Well, there's my dad, and he's got a ruddy partridge over his head."
Pop! Poppop! Pop! Pop! POPPOP!
Seven serpentlets appeared in a cloud of cosmic plasma along with a cluster of baby booklets, tentaculas, and unkittens.
The serpentlets hissed at each other. "Oh no! We couldn't hold it!"
A bright pulse of magic came from the top of the pyramid as two figures walked hand in hand down the staircase from above and into the room.
"Mummy!" the baby serpents cried, flinging themselves at Hermione and wrapping themselves around her body. "We're sorry, we couldn't hold it!"
Hermione's golden eyes surged, but she smiled, soothing them gently. "It is alright, my darlings. You did your best. Harry, you allowed my children to disable Mr Weasley. Ronald, it has been a long time."
The unkittens hissed and tore out of the room, tentaculas and baby booklets following in a blur of motion.
"I've come to escort our guests to the main dining room," Hermione said.
"Guh, 'Mione," Ron blurted. "What are you trying to attract dressed like that?"
Raina released her grip around her mother's neck and glared. "Mummy dresses comfortably because that's practical." She put on her best Severus glare, which was somewhat comical on a baby serpent.
"And when did you adopt so many pets?"
Harry took Ron by the collar and dragged him off. "This way to dinner, Ron. Maybe you'll do better with your face full of chicken wings before your get yourself murdered."
Loki scowled. "I used to think Thor was uncouth."
Thor crossed his arms. "Hey, I've improved."
Loki shook his head. "I'll give you that, brother."
Hermione exchanged glances with her mate. "Come on, let's get to dinner before Ron eats everything and our babies starve."
"Nooo!" the serpentlets complained, always hungry.
"Brother."
"Hrm?"
"Why don't you bring in a nice fresh acromantula for dinner. I'm sure my father King would appreciate it on behalf of his people," Loki said, eyes narrowing.
Thor, oblivious, said, "Okay, brother."
The serpentlets put on their best halos. "Yay!"
As Thor picked up Mjölnir and went off to smack something large and egg-legged about the head, Hermione eyed Loki suspiciously. "My husband."
"Yes, my most beautiful and glorious mate?"
"How did you know about Ron's fear of spiders?"
Loki pressed his lips to hers and smiled at her as he pulled away. "Why, my darling wife. He dreams it very loudly."
The serpentlets had a look of intense concentration on their faces.
Pop!
Pop! POP!
POP!
PopPOPpop!
Seven multi-coloured overgrown arachnids swarmed over Loki and Hermione in place of winged serpentlets.
Hermione eyed Loki. "Woe, we seem to have exchanged our beautiful babies for fluffy arachnids of prismatic colours."
Loki wore his more innocent face. "I did not tell them."
Hermione crossed her arms, Snape-like, across her chest. "You are the God of Mischief, Loki Odinson. You are to blame, regardless."
Loki stuck out lip, pouting.
The fluffy spider-serpentlets all bounced up and down. "Ooooo! Fight!"
"Will mummy snub daddy?"
"Will daddy sleep in the frost beast house?"
"No snogging for daddy?"
"He'll have to sing extra sexily."
"Ooooo, maybe he'll make a new song!"
All the serpentlets stared between Loki and Hermione, made even more odd by their multiple eyes.
Hermione grabbed Loki by the face and snogged him senseless before drifting away towards the dining room, her robes fluttering gracefully behind her.
"Great Frost Mother," started Raina.
"Who guides our hunts," said Itzel.
"Brings us food," said Natsu.
"And stands in front," said Geir.
"We thank you for our full plate today," Vidar said.
"Our ample blessings and even greater prey," finished Naseem.
The serpentlets did a loop-de-loop together in front of the large acromantula that was covered in spicy chilli sauce, a large rack of seal ribs, a giant bowl of blubber fritters, a virtual mountain of fresh oysters, and a great tray of urchin shots that had been specially prepared by Alastor. In the middle of the room was a huge specimen of prime Acromantula health, having been roasted slowly all day in preparation for the night's festivities.
The serpentlets carefully plucked the finest-looking pieces of food from each platter, set them on a shiny ice-carved plate, and oh-so-carefully carried it over to a frozen altar at the front of the room where a tall mural of the frozen lands of Jötunheimr blew eternal. They waited, heads bowed.
The plate of food disappeared off the altar and reappeared in the mural, and a giant seawolf whale broke through the ice, swallowing the entire iceberg with the food, and disappearing from sight. The serpentlets tail-hugged each other and looked to Hermione and Loki for guidance.
"Well done," Loki said approvingly.
"My friends and family," Hermione said with a bow of her head. "Eat and enjoy the feast, for as we are glad to have food to share, we are also equally glad to have those to share it with. Please, enjoy, and don't forget to save room for Minerva's most excellent shortbread biscuits and her famous Eccles cakes, which she has adapted to Jötunheimr's new, exotic frost-berries."
The gathered Jötunn stomped their feet in approval, and Laufey gave his mate a nice, public snog, much to the approval of everyone.
The serpentlets distributed themselves into any lap that would have them, which was pretty much anyone with two eyes and a brain. The "lucky" victims of the night shared their plates with the hungry serpentlets as well as conversation. Every so often, someone would slip tidbits off to the books and booklets that were cooing at their feet, and soon after they, too, had company in their laps for the evening.
"You shouldn't stare," Luna said as she sipped her almost-frozen drink. Mist flowed down the side of her glass. "If you do that to the Bratzak'kiz, they have the right to take a bite out of you. Literally."
Ronald stared at Luna. "Luna?! Why are you blue? And you have weird bumps all over your skin."
Luna frowned, patting herself down. "Oh, good, I was worried I'd lost my ridges. I would hate to think Eirik would have less to play with. I'm not sure what you mean by that, Ronald. Why aren't you blue?" She adjusted the sling around her shoulder so the baby was comfortable, and in true Jötunn fashion, remained silent as long as mummy was close.
Eirik, not missing a beat, mrrred softly at Luna and took a moment to kiss the little one on the head. "How is little Ansgar?"
"Dreaming away," Luna said with a smile. "After the meal he just had, he's going to grown by next week."
"I had better get working on that spear," Eirik grinned, not missing a beat.
Ron's eyes were comically wide as he gaped, unsure what to think or say upon the realization that he was surrounded by alien people— some quite literally.
As most of the guests settled down to the important business of eating, Hermione took a seat with Loki across the table from Arthur.
"Have you met everyone yet?" Hermione asked, a tug of a smile on her lips.
Arthur almost bounced in his seat. "Amazing! I was actually having a delightful conversation with Minerva. I almost didn't recognise her. She seems so happy! Oh, and Vali— such a precious little guy. So many little ones. Molly would be beside herself if she were here."
Hermione's eyebrow arched. "You're taking it far better than most who get to attend one of our dinners for the first time."
Arthur waved her off. "I work for the Ministry, Hermione. This is far better than being forced to make nice with Death Eaters."
"I wouldn't worry about him," Luna said to Hermione. "Arthur was bitten by both a booklet and a tentacula seedling. He'll probably be hallucinating all night."
Hermione frowned. "A booklet bit him?"
"It was Heliotrope," Jane said. "Arthur squeezed him a little too tightly and he nipped him. He didn't mean it!"
"Ah!" Hermione said with relief.
Heliotrope, who was looking out from Jane's hair, cooed apologetically.
Hermione held out her hand, and the apologetic booklet hopped over and rubbed up against it. His cover read: Oops.
She soothed its fur and kissed Heliotrope on the cover. "All's well," she said, giving him a final pat before he bounced back to Jane, his cover having exchanged oops for: Yay! Forgiven!
Hermione took inventory of the tentacula seedings. "Which one of you bit Arthur, hrm?"
A slightly purple seedling drooped a little, shuffling.
"Come here, you silly thing."
The seedling shuffled over to sit in her palms. Hermione pulled it close and soothed it with her hands, whispering to it. "We don't bite guests," she said after a bit. "Well, invited guests. Uninvited guests, you may bite without repercussions."
The seedling rustled and extended tentacles to gently stroke her face.
"Off you go then," Hermione said, shooing the seedling off to rejoin the rampaging horde of booklets, unkittens and seedlings.
"That is so unfair," Harry complained as he walked up. "You get tentacula cuddles and I get bit on the arse."
"She has far more natural charisma," Severus asserted, smirking as he passed a bowl of salad down the table.
"Arthur, there you are," Harry said as he sat down with a very pale blue-skinned woman, whose head was adorned only in bone crests and a fine weave of ice crystals crafted from the perma-ice of Jötunheimr. "Arthur, this is Elwilda, my most beloved mate."
Arthur's broad smile spread across his face like a sunrise. "Pleased to meet you, ah— Mrs Potter?"
"Amongst my people, Mr Weasley, females go by one name, in formalities, I would be Elwilda, Daughter of Per." She smiled at him, bowing her head. "Please, call me Elwilda."
"Arthur, please," Arthur replied, in a gush. "I'd seen some of your people around the temple when I visited after the war. I am very happy to meet you."
"It 'tis a refuge," an older-looking alien said, his beard was as long as he was, braided intricately and folded around him to hang from his ornate antlers. "One of the few places where all are welcome, regardless of who you fight once you leave."
"Though, it would be hoped that such a place at least makes you consider not slapping someone upside the face with a Bzarigod whale," a feminine-looking alien said as she bowed her head in greeting.
The older alien smiled. "But it is a great honour to be slapped upside the face with a Bzarigod whale, my lady."
"Are they big?"
"Maybe they are tiny whales."
"A gummy whale?"
"A rainbow whale made of cotton candy?"
"What if it's a brass whale?"
"Ouch."
"Maybe a whale-sicle?"
"Space whale, definitely."
The serpentlets continued to speculate as the older alien laughed. "No, my little serpent-friends. The Bzarigod whale is mighty and gargantuan, thus whoever manages to actually lift one, let along swing it at someone is considered worthy of listening to, if anything so they do not drop the whale upon you."
The serpentlets cocked their heads. "I suppose that's fair," Geir said, tail swishing.
Itzel pondered a moment. "Is it as big as a seawolf whale?"
"I have never seen one, my friend," he replied.
"Mummy, can we show him?"
"Please?"
"Pretty please?"
"With a spear on top?"
The serpentlets made wide eyes at her.
"Ask your father."
They stared at Loki, tails trembling.
Loki eyed his progeny with a critical eye.
"It would be inappropriate to abscond with Ambassador Zeuxin in the middle of dinner; however, you may ask his permission after dinner as long as one of the Jötunn older than a thousand agrees to accompany you," Loki said.
The serpentlets looked torn between excitement and disappointment.
"Okay!"
"You are not allowed to sway said Jötunn with your influence," Hermione said firmly. "They must agree on their own."
Two of the serpentlets slumped in disappointment. "Okay."
Hermione winked at Ambassador Zeuxin, who was smiling back at her, undoubtedly going to take the serpentlets up on their offer to show him a great seawolf whale worthy of the Great Frost Mother, Herself.
"Be home in time for bed, my darlings," Hermione said sweetly, chuckling to herself.
"Yes, mummy!" the serpentlets chimed, getting all excited again.
"Oi, 'Mione," Ron said as Naseem stared at him, tail twitching. "Are these critters really your kids?"
Hermione tilted her head. "I'm not sure, my husband. Are they all ours?"
Loki counted heads. "Those are ours. That one is an imposter."
"Daddy!" Yoki complained.
"Oh, my bad," Loki said, changing his gaze upward as if to peer at his halo. "That one is ours too."
"But—" Ron boggled. "There's seven of them! Even mum spaced them out a bit."
Arthur thumped Ron under the table, giving him a look.
"There would've been more," a disturbingly familiar, rumbling voice droned, "but I brewed them a helpful quetzalcoatl contraceptive."
"We like brothers and sisters!" the serpentlets chimed.
"But, we can help take care of the other babies, so it's not so bad!" Natsu said, her blue eyes sparkling, her golden tail flashing as it swished through the air.
"And there are many," Sif said as she and Björnar exchanged looks. She cradled a baby against her breast as he slept away obliviously.
"Ach," Alastor said, throwing down a platter of smoked fish as he trudged in. He carefully placed the best looking one on the frozen altar in front of the mosiac Jötunheimr. He bowed his head and was silent until it disappeared. "Sorry I'm late. I had to finish smoking the fish so they wouldn't explode."
"Always a good reason, Hunter Alastor," Laufey said, gesturing at him to have a seat next to Tova.
Tova smiled at him. "Such a dutiful hunter, my mate," she praised.
"Helps to have both legs and two eyes," Moody chuckled.
"Our son shall never go hungry," Tova said warmly, giving him a welcoming snog in front of everyone.
"Mad-Eye?!" Ron blurted.
Arthur, too, while not as crude, took in the sight of the new and blue Moody, complete with stylish loin cloth, spear, and Jötunn appearance.
Moody shook a rattle at his son, a smile on his face. The rattle looked like very familiar eye. The baby cooed and reached out for the rattle and immediately caught it and put it in his mouth like a typical baby. Moody snorted and ruffled the little one's head ridges. The baby yawned almost immediately and snuggled up to Tova and was asleep.
"Who'd you think I was? Kingsley?" Moody said, raising an eyebrow at Ron.
"There's a thought," Minerva said from beside Laufey. "Hrm."
"You, my mate, are going to single-handedly ensure every Jötunn finds their match," Laufey said.
"We help, Grandfather King!" the serpentlets pouted.
"Indeed you do," Minerva chuckled, ruffling Vidar's feathered mane with affection only to get all seven up in her face and rubbing against her and Vali.
Vali yawned and went back to sleep, completely uninterested in being social.
"Jötunn babies sleep a lot," Vidar said, doing a loop-de-loop.
"Not like the Oodres do," Geir added.
"How do you know?" Raina asked.
"Ambassador Ptz'k'kik'k brought some with him," Luna said. "Someone didn't check the latch and they escaped all over the ambassador quarters."
"Oh dear," Minerva tutted.
"They are a lot like Nargles," Luna said cheerily as she munched on the end of an Acromantula leg. "They sparkle though. Much easier to find."
"I took care of it," Luna said. "Turns out they really love shoes and wristwatches, so I just followed the sounds of angry Nifflers."
Arthur tried not to stare as he realised there were a lot of familiar faces that had recently undergone a radical change in skin tone. Ronald, however, wasn't even trying not to stare and just gaped, his eyes going from Luna to Minerva to—
"Bloody Snape is blue too!" Ron blurted.
"Obviously," Severus replied, utterly deadpan.
"I happen to adore blue," Hermione said easily.
"You would say that, you're a Snape too!"
Hermione, refusing to rise to Ron's obnoxious spew, shrugged as she leaned back against Loki. "Blue is quite sexy."
The serpentlets perked.
"Is mummy going to sing?"
They all watched intently, humming.
"Hnnnnnnn," Hermione purred at Loki.
"Nnnnnnnh," Loki replied, grinning.
But, before they could carry on, Fred and George sat down on either side of Ron and grinned evilly. "So Ronniekins, how'd you like the Acromantula rolls?"
"Thwaht?" Ron garbled, his mouth full of food.
"And the seal liver pâté," Theo noted.
"And the blubber fritters," Harry said, popping one in his mouth with great enjoyment.
"Irony coming from you," Draco muttered.
"When in Jötunheimr," Harry said, sticking out his tongue at his friend. "Besides, you know your favourites are the deviled Acromantula eggs."
Draco averted his gaze, denying everything. Yoki, however, tickled Draco's lips with her tail and stealthily shoved the hors d'oeuvre into his mouth and closed it by using her tail to thump his lower jaw closed. Draco had the look of pure ecstasy on his face as he chewed, letting out a low moan of masticating pleasure. "Where has this been all my life," he groaned.
"Breeding in the Forbidden Forest," Severus said with a sniff.
"We should totally have found out about this much sooner," Draco complained.
"That would have killed Hagrid," Harry said with a frown.
"Worfit," Draco said, his mouth still working on the appetizer.
Ron's face suddenly turned a pale, sickly green, and he stood up from the table and fled the dining room, the sounds of opening and shutting doors coming shortly after.
"He's not going to—"
HRUGHHHHHH!
"Make it," Itzel finished.
"We should go see if he's okay."
"Yup, polite thing to do."
"Permission to leave the table to go check on him?"
"You may," Laufey said, a tug of amusement on his lips.
The serpentlets zoomed off and down the hall.
"Hey, you're not looking so good."
"Still green."
"Need help getting to the—"
HHRHGHGHH!
"You're going to need a bucket."
"And a bath."
"Maybe a shower too."
"Hey, that's mom's favourite—"
HHRHGH!
"Ew."
"Nasty."
"What a waste of good spider."
"Don't you like spider?"
"Spider is great!"
"They are even better when their legs wiggle!"
Pop. Pop. PoppopPOPpoppyPOP!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the sounds of Ron's screaming came from down the corridor.
"That's my children," Loki said proudly.
Hermione said nothing, but smiled smugly in return.
Arthur blinks, suddenly becoming aware of something he'd missed while boggling over the immediate fact he was surrounded in alien delegates. "Wait, your children are quetzalcoatls?
Hermione smiled sweetly. "Yes, Arthur."
"But that means—"
"Mmmhmm."
"But you're—"
"Mmm."
"That we prayed to—"
Shhhiirrrrthunk.
Arthur had slid off his chair to the floor in a dead faint.
Pop. POP! Pop. Pop. POPOPOP.
The serpentlets arrived with pillows to prop up his head, and then fanned his face with their tails.
He groggily came to only to slump back again.
"Rut roh."
"Maybe he'd like us better if we were big fluffy spiders."
Fwwop!
They transformed into rainbow coloured spiders and bounced up and down on his body.
Arthur came to and promptly zonked out again.
"Well, at least he didn't scream."
"Yeah screaming was bad."
"Guess I'll wait to tell Arthur the news," Harry said, scooping up an armful of baby serpent-spider and cuddling them even as he picked up Arthur and moved him to a nearby couch, propped up his head, and then—
Harry grinned and tucked the serpent-spiders in with Arthur, turned, and returned to the table with an innocent look on his face.
Loki smiled broadly. "This place keeps better better!"
Hermione rubbed the space between her eyes. "I guess I'll prepare the guest chambers."
"So it's true then," Arthur said, looking far less pale as he sat drinking tea and petting a purring un-kitten, booklet, and baby tentacula seedling in his lap, all fighting for attention from his hand at once.
"Every bit of it," Harry said.
"I read the Quibbler, but I'd thought Xenophilius was just hunting for Snorkacks again, you know? Trying to keep his paper afloat." Arthur drank down his tea. "Giving hope to the people, you know?"
"It is a lot to take in," Harry agreed.
"And you're— wow," Arthur let out a long sigh. "Part of me, I guess, thought it was all glamours, you know, to fit in with the aliens. Oddly the aliens bit was easier to explain."
"Don't let Xenophilius hear that," Harry said with a chuckle.
Arthur grinned. "With all the things Fred and George do, it seemed perfectly logical that you were all glamouring up just to see what we'd do. I'd never even thought you were glamouring up just to make me feel more comfortable."
Harry fingered the egg-shell pendant around his neck. "Growing up just happened to be quite literal in my case," he said. "Thanks to Hermione and Loki, we can still fit in most areas," Harry said with a grin. "Well, the serpentlets too, because it was the shards of their eggs that go into the pendants. Lady Frigga made the first ones as tokens for those that were here for the hatching, and Hermione and Loki found a way to help the Jötunn with them, first to protect them from the heat, but then they realised it could also permit them to mingle about without people having to crank their neck up."
Arthur laughed. "After seeing King Laufey and Minerva— gods— thirty five feet or more. I'm betting that chap is on the more side of that."
"Well, he is our king, Arthur," Harry chuckled.
"Your— wait you have dual citizenship?"
Harry shook his head. "Triple, if you consider I'm British, a wizard, and a Jötunn."
"And you carry a spear."
"And a wand, technically— the wand is inside it. Minerva worked with Ollivander to place the wand inside the spear, and we shrink it down and carry it like a wand when we go out in public."
"Wow, just— wow." Arthur said. "I guess, Molly and I always expected you to marry Ginny, but when she disappeared, that all went down the toilet. Then she comes back, but she's already married to that maroon-haired chap, Beau Leon. Molly was so happy. So happy her baby was still alive. She could have come back with some American for all she cared. I think that's why she's at home, mothering her—"
"She's afraid she'll disappear again."
Arthur nodded. "Molly was never quite right after her brothers died, Harry. Because of that, she has always been extra motherly on the kids, and with all of our kids, that's a lot of energy. By the end of the day, she'd be tired and cranky, libel snap your face off than anything, but she loves her kids, and I know she loves me even when she's pecking away at me."
"That's what matters, right?" Harry said. "When I was just getting used being a wizard, your family was something I idolised. I mean, you fought and bickered like any person would, but at the end of the day, everyone knew their parents loved them. There was always food on the table, a roof over their heads. Hell you even had rooms for everyone. After living in a cupboard for so many years, that was amazing."
"Thanks, Harry," Arthur said. "That means a lot ot me. It wasn't easy, never being promoted, never getting that better leg up. Shite hours, and late homecomings. Sometimes I think if I'd just been less vocal about my fascination with Muggles that I could have done better for them."
"You were true to yourself, Arthur, and that was something I know Fred and George, Bill— even Percy took to heart. Look at Charlie, out there, training dragons."
"Even Ronald is true to himself, even if we don't like where it's taking him," Arthur admitted.
Harry sighed. "Yes. Lady Tova is taking care of him. He lost a lot of fluids and banged himself up with all that caterwauling last night. Don't worry, though. Tova is one of if not the best healers Jötunheimr has. She and Ishea are a matched set. I'm sure Madam Pomfrey would love to pick their brains."
"I hope he behaves himself," Arthur said with concern.
"Tova is mated to Alastor," Harry said. "Ron doesn't really have a chance."
Arthur snorted. "You are probably right, Harry."
"Tova even requested bringing in some live prey animals for him, so he can hunt them 'so he knows exactly what he's eating'." Harry smiled. "I tried to tell her that Ron hasn't hunted for life food ever in his life, but she told me her babies could hunt before they were a hundred, so that's no excuse for him."
"'No respect for the food if you do not hunt it, grow it, or find it under twenty feet of snow', she said to me," Harry said with a chuckle. "Not that I don't sympathise. I used to think Jötunn foods were so disgusting, I had to run away to hurl. I hadn't even tried it. I was horrible example," Harry said.
"I think you've become quite the example, Harry," Arthur said.
Harry grinned. "Thanks, Arthur. Want to take the grand tour? Feel up to it?"
"Absolutely."
"Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn."
"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnh."
The very walls vibrated with the power of the quetzalcoatls' song.
"Whoa, what is that?"
"Loki is trying very hard to impress his mate," Harry said with a grin plastered over his face.
Arthur frowned. "How exactly does that work?"
"He struts just so. Sings just so. Rubs just so. His feathers glint in the light, his wings flash, and he bobs his head jusssst right."
The serpentlets air-strutted by, mimicking their parents' aerial dance, bob, and wing flashes before disappearing in a poof of cosmic vapour.
Harry grinned as Arthur boggled. "You can't keep anything from quetzalcoatl babies. All you can do is guide them so they don't hurt someone by accident.
"But—" Arthur said. "They're babies!"
"Born with more head knowledge than most adults, I fear," Harry explained. "They just need practical experience to make sense of it."
Arthur was clearly having issues coming to terms with the concept of the serpentlets' scope of knowledge.
"A lot to take in?" Harry asked.
"Very," Arthur said.
"Did you at least enjoy the dinner?"
"Actually, it was fantastic. I'm not sure why Ronald made such a big deal about it. He was obviously enjoying it just fine until—"
"Ignorance is bliss," Harry said with a chuckle. "Not that Fred and George didn't, uh, hasten the revelation."
"Entirely intentional, I'm sure," Arthur mused. "I know my sons, and those three have had it out for each other ever since Ronald was born. Charlie tried to tell me the reason, but— I didn't listen. I don't think I wanted to listen or know. I didn't want to think a child was capable of creating such spite before he could even crawl."
"How so?"
"Ron was the baby of the family, you see," Arthur explained. "The last child, or so we thought. Molly coddled him, protected him from his brothers something fierce. There were some times—"
Arthur sighed. "Times when Molly accused the twins of doing things to him when they swore up and down that they hadn't. One day, Ronald apparently climbed up on the counter to nick some biscuits from the tin, and he fell. Molly came running in to see Fred and George staring as Ron had this giant goose egg on his head and was wailing like someone had tried to beat him to death. The twins denied doing anything to him. Now, kids lie, they test borders, and she thought they were doing just that, time and time again, until finally I think they simply decided that they weren't even going to try anymore. Molly was blaming them anyway, so they took their frustrations out on Percy and Ron, picking on their individual flaws, but each and every time Ronald got hurt, he'd always blame the twins."
Arthur rubbed his head. "Ronald did something terrible, Harry. I'm not sure what, but he has been given a second chance, and I have no idea how to get him to make the best of it."
Harry pursed his lips together just as Naseem popped into his arms and wrapped himself around Harry in a hug. "Hi, Uncle Harry! Is it my turn?"
Harry smiled. "I think so."
Naseem flitted and bobbed his head, honey-coloured wings fluttering. "Okay! Mr Weasley! I'll be your therapeutic partner for today!" He wrapped himself around Arthur's neck and pointed with his tail. "This way for the tour of our home!"
Harry chuckled as Naseem dragged Arthur off for the official tour, and wondered how many worlds he would be visiting before he came home.
"This way, Mr Weasley-Arthur," Naseem said. "There's strawberry pie! No don't go that way! That way is the seal carcass they are curing. Strawberry pie is much better in the morning. Seal is for dinner!"
Harry snickered into his hand. Poor Arthur.
"Fred, George, why are you blue? Did you dose yourselves with some experimental concoction again? You know what happened last time! Where have you been? It's been weeks since I've seen you!"
"Uh—" Fred started.
"You know I worry about you! Ginny is pregnant and needs help!"
"Mum, if you'd just—" George tried to say.
Two female Jötunn hunters stepped into the door, being careful to duck so as to not hit their heads on the top of the door frame.
Molly's tirade screeched to an abrupt halt as she gaped as the sight of their rune-covered spears and distinctive lack of anything but a loincloth and a soft drape of gossamer wrap around the chest and neck.
"As we were trying to say, mum, sorry we weren't around, but we were quite busy on a hunting trip with Harry. It was our first one, so we had to do everything just right so our mates wouldn't leave us before we even got started."
The two females shook their heads.
"You were interesting before you proved your worth in hunting," the taller one said as she glared at the low-hung door. "Though, the hunting helped seal the deal."
George pouted. "Just the hunting?"
"Perhaps, your sense of humour."
George slumped, and Fred thumped him on the shoulder. "Don't even try fishing for compliments from the ladies, George. If she didn't appreciate your prowess, she wouldn't have agreed to be your mate."
"Would be nice to know I wasn't a failure, bro," George said. "Verbally, that is."
"Oh, I think you had that covered the other night," Fred said with a sniff.
"Ha, ha, boys," Molly said. "You can stop trying to get a rise out of me and help set the table. Whoever your friends are, they might as well stay for dinner, but you can drop the charade."
Fred and George exchanged glances. "Mum, this isn't playing."
"Mum, this is Sigrid," Fred said, taking the "shorter" female by the hand. He pressed his forehead to hers and smiled. "My most cherished lady."
"And this is Svanhild" George said, pressing his palm to his lady's cheek as he pressed his forehead to hers, "my inspiration."
"Hey!" Fred said. "What am I? Chopped liver?"
"And that is my long lost brother Fred," George said, deadpan. "I found him trapped in the permafrost and had to thaw him out. He grunts a lot."
Fred crossed his arms. "Harumph."
"Wha?" Molly said, her spoon raised in mid-air. "Fred, George, this better not be one of your horrible jokes.
Fwoop!
POP!
POpOP! POP! Pop.
The serpentlets arrived in a cloud of cosmic plasma, carrying a large hamper filled with food.
"Hallo, Lady Svanhild. Lady Sigrid! Weasley-George, Mr Fred," they chimed.
"You forgot your picnic hamper!"
"We brought it!"
Natsu curled up on top of Fred's head like a turban and peered down at him. "Grandpa Severus and mummy prepared you some shrimp and cucumber sandwiches."
"And kroketten," Itzel said, bobbing her head.
"And salade van paling met appel-stroop," Geir said, doing a fancy loop-de-loop.
"And the kaasstengels!" Vidar added.
"Oh, hello, Weasley-Molly-mummy-person!" the serpentlets greeted.
"We should go."
"Yeah, it's our turn to show the ambassadors around the temple."
"Ooo, the ones with the tentacles and eyestalks?"
"Yup!"
"Let's go!"
FWOOP!
The serpentlets disappeared in a cloud of cosmic vapour.
Sigrid and Svanhild caught the picnic hamper together.
Fred caught his mother as she fell backwards.
George caught the spoon she was holding.
"That went well," George said.
Sigrid and Svanhild exchanged glances.
"Whatever you say, my mate."
Fred gently lay his mother on the settee and pulled the quilt over her. The twins embraced their mates, perhaps for reassurance or simple need for their touch after the stress of their mother. Their skin flushed back into the "normal" state of blue, eyes glowing crimson as they purred softly at their mates.
"Hey mum, can you help me with this button, I can't—" Ginevra screeched to a halt as she saw four giant blue people standing in the living room.
Fred caught his sister as she fainted, sighing.
"Like mother, like daughter," George said, shaking his head in mock dismay.
"You have an interesting family," Sigrid said thoughtfully.
"I'm surprised your floor isn't more… padded," Svanhild said. "With all the fainting."
"Normally, there is more tongue lashing, gnashing of teeth, and threats involving waving spoons and cast iron cooking implements," Fred noted.
"This is normal for your family?"
"Well, on some days," George said, "we actually get through a dinner without mum having something to harp on us about." He gave a lopsided grin.
"Might as well set the table," Fred said. "This hamper smells delicious."
"And how was your intervention, my lovelies?" Hermione said as the serpentlets twirled and bounced around her in the air.
"Weasley-Molly fainted," Geir announced, shaking his mane of feathers.
"Everything went well after that," Itzel said.
"She thought Fred and George were playing a joke on her," Vidar said, rubbing his head against his mum's hands for massaging that itch just out of reach.
"Weasley-Ginevra fainted too," Naseem said. "Maybe it's genetic."
"Like fainting goats," Yoki speculated.
"We should test it!" Natsu said.
"Yes," Raina agreed. "Tests make sure the results are repeatable." Her blue tongue flicked in and out in amusement.
"They are getting on well now," Geir said, extending himself up straight and bobbing back and forth in an imitation of the wiggle he saw his father doing.
"Even though Weasley-Molly thinks her sons married savages, still," Vidar said, his feathers flattening against his head and body.
"Better though, getting better!" Yoki said, play bonking her brother with her nose.
"Better is what counts, my children," Hermione said scooping her serpentlets up and hugging them until they piled all over her with a thump. They wriggled up against her and hummed a song they had made up just for her, head bobbing, fangs flashing, and feathers shaking just so.
Hermione grinned, enjoying their desire to impress as any mother and their child indulged the antics of their children.
"Mummy?" Yoki asked, cuddling up to her mother with intent.
"Yes, love?" Hermione answered.
"Can we go for a flight together?" Yoki asked sweetly, gushing as much charm as her rebelliously rainbow tail could muster.
"Ooooo, please!" the rest chimed together, standing up straight on their tails and spreading their wings out as if they were totem poles.
"Oh, I suppose," Hermione said with a sly grin.
"Yay!" the serpentlets cried.
"Hnnnnnnnnnnnngh," Hermione sang as her body shifted into her true and most radiant form, sun glowing from her feathers and scales as her mane of feathers surrounded her head. The solar quetzalcoatl launched into the air and off the balcony as her body expanded towards her true size, the power of the gathered faith making her far larger than her first transformation so long ago. As she took to the air, the space around her seemed to shift and expand, forming into the vastness of space where stars hung in their black backdrop. The temple islands seemed to float not in Gringott's but the in the expanse of outer space, where nebulae swirled, quasars pulsed, and very fabric of life extended in all directions.
"Hnnnnnnnnnngh," Hermione sang.
The serpentlets sang with her, adding their voices to the cosmic weave.
"Hgnnnnnnnnnnh," Loki's voice joined the harmony as his massive body slide against Hermione's. Their bodies entwined as they spiraled through the air, wings spread with the golden rays of the sun and the blue-white of the moon.
They danced amongst the stars, their bodies swirling and making patterns. Their radiance casting light upon all the Realms at once, and even Ásgarðr paused and looked up into the immenseness of space and saw their dance.
From Jötunheimr, however, came an answering song— the song of the great seawolf whale— as a cosmic creature rose from the Realm. Celestial water splashed from the whale's great form as it breached the stars as the goddess Herself saluted them.
The serpentlets shot off to dance around the goddess that never stopped watching over Jötunheimr, dancing and singing for her as they did for their parents. They rubbed up against her body in adoration, frolicking in her majesty.
As Hermione and Loki approached the elder goddess, they bowed their heads to her, flaring their feathers in respect to the Great Frost Mother, She-Who-Came-Before, and they danced for her, swaying and singing their song as thousands of voices of their faithful wove through every note, gaining more and more converts with the show of the quetzalcoatls' true divinity.
As the faith rose, shared between the Great Frost Mother and the quetzalcoatl family, they were suddenly joined. Severus, Ishea, and Minerva were suspended in a bubble of energy, their bodies blurred and shifted as the serpentlets sang—
Fwoooooom!
The bubbles burst and Severus emerged from his as a pewter-scaled serpent with glossy black feathers. Ishea twirled around him, her bright blue-violet scales offset by dark purple feathers the colour of aubergines. Minerva peered out from behind Hermione's great coils, her spring green body rimmed with feathers in a deep fuschia-pink that was reminiscent of thistles, the national flower of Scotland.
"Dance with us, my priest!" Raina sang to Severus.
"Dance with us, my heartmate," Geir sang to Ishea.
"Dance with us, my priestess," Vidar sang to Minerva.
They slithered up and around their chosen, humming.
Slowly, Severus first, a note added to the song. Then another and another.
"Hnnnnnnnnnnnnngh," Hermione's song ran across the cosmic pathways, vibrating through the Realms.
"Hgnnnnnnnnnnnnnh," Loki's song harmonized.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!" the serpentlets sang, their voices joining with their chosen, their parents, and each others to complete the vibration.
Yoki and Naseem did a whirling dance, creating patterns and a different harmony. The vapours swirled around them and then concentrated as they focused very hard.
Fwoosh.
Laufey and Frigga were both suspended in bubbles, enveloped in cosmic plasma.
Yoki twirled around Laufey's bubble. "Join with me, grandfather king! Be my priest! You will, won't you? Together we shall pay honour to the Great Frost Mother and bring peace to Jötunheimr."
Tears flowed down Laufey's face as he closed his eyes. "Yes."
His body shimmered, and the bubble burst. His body expanded outward in a flash of phthalo blue scales and carmine feathers. Blue-white runes covered his body, matching those of his Jötunn form.
Yoki twirled with joy, radiating unparalleled, genuine love for her grandfather-priest, and their song joined together with the others.
Naseem sang to Frigga, doing his best and most glorious dance. "Join me, grandmother! Be mine. Share with me the cosmos that we may travel it together!"
Frigga's face relaxed, an expression of pure peace falling upon it. "Yes."
Her body shimmered and twisted as her bubble burst. She spilled out in a cascade of pearlescent scales, each shimmering with the colours of the Bifröst. Golden feathers crowned her head as cream-and-white wings stretched out from her back.
Naseem twirled and wrapped around his grandmother, radiating pure joy at their joining. He sang, and she joined in— trembling at first but gradually growing clearer and stronger.
While the newest quetzals were somewhat smaller than Hermione and Loki, they were no less glorious in their presentation. The Great Frost Mother breached in the cosmic waters, and the quetzalcoatls swirled and danced with her, spreading the radiance of their combined faith across all the Realms and beyond.
Rain fell in the deserts, causing them to bloom. Droughts came to an end. Floods receded, glaciers stopped melting, and entire forests regenerated.
Itzel sang sadly, her song lonely and heart heavy. Somewhere, a lush grassland withered and shriveled.
The others sang to her, wrapping and gliding around her. Severus, Minerva, Frigga, and Laufey slid against her as Hermione and Loki sang out again.
Loki bobbed his head.
Hermione mirrored.
The serpentlets mimicked them.
The four newest quetzalcoatls attempted to imitate.
Again. Again. Their sphere of influence expanding and solidifying.
And while some, perhaps, never noticed, attributing the changes, such as better weather and more fertile lands to the natural shift and sway of tides and random cosmic phenomena, others saw it for what it was: the rise of new gods, protectors of their eternal domain. Other species believed it to be a sign of the coming end of the world, and perhaps it was to some.
It was an end to stagnation. The cycle was alive again. Light touched the places that had only known darkness, but darkness also loomed around the places that had only known light.
But the Song whispered in every rustle of grass, leaf, and wind upon the sand. Life continued. Life evolved.
Time passed…
"Come on, Kings!"
The rainbow-scaled quetzalcoatl nudged the wizard with her nose and tickled him with her tongue. "Come on, sleepyhead! It's time to go to the hatching!"
"Please, mum, just five more minutes," Kingsley moaned into his pillow.
Itzel sighed and wrapped her coils around Kingsley, slithered over to the shower, dumped him in, and used her tail to hit the button on the side.
Warm water rushed down as Kingsley let out a strangled yell and then came the sounds of frantic scrubbing.
A few minutes later, Kingsley stormed out of his bathroom with a towel around his waist. "You!" he accused the quetzalcoatl.
"Hrm?" Itzel said, her tail looped mischievously.
"You're insufferable."
"I'm Itzel."
Kingsley crossed his arms and mock-scowled at her.
"And you're my priest," she purred, radiating pure love and affection.
Kingsley wilted, hugging the serpent's scruff of white-blue feathers. "Why couldn't you have taken after your mother instead of the sodding God of Mischief?"
Itzel head bobbed. "You love me."
"That's beside the point!"
"I take after both my mum and my dad," Itzel said cheerfully.
"Some more than others," Kingsley muttered. He pulled on his robes and his brightly coloured hat.
"You always dress to impress," Itzel said approvingly. "You look best as a quetzalcoatl though."
"Biased."
"Understandably so."
"Debateable. Besides, we both know I was second choice to Thor."
Itzel nuzzled him, tongue flicking. "I was a baby. I did not understand duty to his people. He was not king then. Besides, Grandpa King Laufey multitasks. I thought everyone could be like him."
"Laufey is hardly an example of typical for his people. Nor is his mate," Kingsley said.
Iztel tongue flicked, pegging Kingsley on the nose. "We love exceptional people."
"There are millions of people on the world," Kingsley said.
"Only one you," Itzel replied, bobbing her head and fanning her head feathers. She purred at him. "Come on, heartmate, it's time to see the hatching! Grandpa Severus finally decided the universe was ready for more serpentlets!"
"Somewhere out there, someone is writhing in their grave at the thought that Severus decides when the universe is ready for more baby serpentlets," Kingsley said, shaking his head.
"Mum and dad approve of his judgement," Itzel said. "Let's go! We'll be late!"
"Okay, okay!" Kingsley said, closing his eyes as he stepped onto and then off the open balcony—
He rose as a feathered serpent, his deep bronze body scales contrasting with royal blue and purple feathers that matched his favourite set of robes.
"That's my priest," Itzel said proudly. She rubbed up against him and launched into the air, leaving their nest perched high above Ásgarðr. She wrapped herself around Kingsley's body—
FWOOP!
They disappeared in a poof of cosmic plasma.
As the faithful gathered around the quetzalcoatl temple for what was, for most, a once in a lifetime experience, each of the priests and priestesses tended the flocks of the faithful, giving directions, guidance, and needed translation, especially for those that had never been there before.
While each of the priests and priestesses were not as colossal as the true quetzalcoatls, they were by no stretch small, and Loki and Hermione curled around the eggs together, singing to their latest brood.
Five eggs shimmered at the top of the temple dias, singing back excitedly to their parents in preparation for their big debut. The temple itself floating in space, existing in multiple places at once for the big event, the very stone vibrating with the power of the faithful and excitement of those who had no idea what to expect. The area around the temple shimmered with magic as all nine Realms met together, folding space that all might attend the event.
Raina, Itzel, Natsu, Yoki, Geir, Vidar, and Naseem added their song to their parents, and their bonded added their notes as well, each helping channel the energy of the gathered to the top of the temple to welcome in the next generation.
The gathered added their own songs to the mix, each with their own personal touch.
From Ásgarðr, Terje sat upon the throne with his twin Leif at his side, while Thor and Jane happily found themselves with free time, or as much as free time could happen when one had grandchildren.
To no one's surprise, Jötunheimr made more than a fair sharing of presence, their bodies forming a virtual sea of blue as their silvery banners depicting the Great Frost Mother's seawolf whale flapped in the wind. Ásgarðr too, sent their own, the blue met with a sea of golden helms. Yet, unlike so many centuries before, they stood side by side in peace.
Miðgarðr had their own share of representatives, some old, and some newer, but it was by far the ones who had supported the ascension of the solar and lunar quetzalcoatls that made up most of their number. Foals pranced happily around their dams as the centaurs gathered with the goblin nation, all of which revelled in the hatching with eagerness.
As the eggs rocked back and forth, cracks formed on each one, trickles of light and cosmic vapour seeping out from each one. The largest egg, blue and white swirled together with golden flecks, burst open with a explosion of shards and light as the newly hatched serpentlet attached to his father's snout. "Hello, father! I am Ahio!"
Loki eyed his progeny with a critical eye, perhaps counting feathers, scales, or examining his tail. The little serpentlet, whose scales were the colour of the summer sky, stretched out his golden wings and fanned them. His ruby eyes whirled with excitement as he crooned to his father.
Hermione pegged her firstborn son with her tongue, cleaning off the hatching debris, and the serpentlet wriggled and giggled at his mother's attentions. Ahio cuddled up to his mother's mane and radiated pure love and affection. He unclamped from her mane and stretched his wings, attempting to gain loft, but just as he did, the two nearest eggs shattered and exploded outward as a rose and tangerine serpentlet and a russet and cream serpentlet slammed into their brother. "Hallo, brother!" they cried.
"I am Eteria!"
"I am Iraja!"
A smaller purple egg rocked back and forth crazily, spinning in the nest. Suddenly, a shard popped off the top in almost a perfect circle. Two glowing aquamarine eyes peered out as a magenta snout and furl of indigo feathers followed cautiously. "I am Souma," he hissed as he slithered out of the egg the rest of the way, leaving it almost perfectly intact.
Hermione curled her tail around Souma and sang, and the little one perked, recognising the song he had heard through the shell for ever so long.
"Mummy!" he cried, diving into her mane of feathers and disappearing completely.
Loki stuffed his snout into his mate's mane and slurped his wayward son, eliciting a few soft giggles from inside.
The last egg was a faded creamy gold, and it rocked back and forth and stopped and then continued , the egg rocked so violently that it tumbled out of the nest, cracking a little more with each bounce as it tumbled down the dais toward the hushed crowds below.
The silence was heavy.
Crack.
Crack.
Crack.
CRACK!
The egg shattered midway down the temple steps before anyone could even move. Blurs came shooting out—
WHUMP.
Severus was there, his tail wrapped around pale blond serpentlet with pearl grey eyes number one and his mouth around pale blond serpentlet with bright blue eyes number two. His eyes rolled as his serpentine lips curled in a distinctive Snapeish expression of "turn to page three hundred and ninety-four."
"Hello, Grandfather," the one draped in his mouth squeaked.
"Mfmmfffff, Granfhfhpgaaaather," the one wrapped in his coils mumbled.
"You, my son," Hermione said as she slithered down the steps to slurp her dangling son, "are Drathor."
"And you, my son," Loki said as he pried the other son from Severus' rescuing coils, "are Thaco."
"Both of you are christened after two namesakes you seem so desperately eager to honor and emulate," Hermione and Loki said together.
Jane, up on the dais with Thor, gave him the eye.
Thor's eyes grew wide. "Why are you looking at me like that, my Jane?"
Meanwhile, Theo and Harry leaned on their spears as they stared holes into Draco.
Draco flinched. "What?!"
Theo pantomimed a hunter with his hands tripping over a rock and landing on top of a seal and ending up floating out to sea riding a dead seal.
Harry pantomimed frantic swimming that could have doubled as the explosion of an undersea volcano.
Draco glared. "Twelve hundred years and you still won't let me live that down!"
The Jötunn female beside him murmured something into his ear, and Draco flushed dark purple.
"Okay, well, the ending was great—" he confessed.
Hermione plunked Drathor in Draco's lap as Loki thumped Thaco into Thor's startled arms.
The serpentlets looked up wide-eyed at their namesakes. "Hallo, Uncle," they said together.
Both Draco and Thor were instantly undone and loved all over the twin baby serpentlets.
Severus sighed as Kingsley nudged him with his snout, his tongue flicking in amusement.
"The universe is utterly doomed," Severus said.
Kingsley flared his purple feathers and head-bobbed. "Oh, it could be worse. The last one could have been born ginger.
Severus' crimson eyes whirled in horror. "Gods, no. I refuse to stare at Weasley anything until the end of eternity."
Hermione's head rubbed against Severus' and she purred lovingly. "Good thing I have a weakness for raven hair and snarkitude. I fear I must blame my father."
Severus' serpent muzzle turned upward in a grin. "Always."
The plush spider brigade scurries by carrying comfy pillows and blankets.
"Happy ever after time!"
"Yup!"
"Also time for Dragon and the Rose to go to bed."
"Corvus does too!"
"True…"
"Okay, let's split the pillows and blankets between them!"
"Sounds like a plan!"
"One more story done!"
"Amazing!"
"Do you think we'll get cuddles?"
"Only if we aren't late!"
"EEEeeee!"
"Let's hurry!"
Spiders rush off carrying assorted bedtime implements from pillows to toothbrushes.
One spider, however, bumps into a wall, a bucket stuck over his head. He gives a sad squeak, plopping down on all eight legs.
Fonn bounds in, screeches to a halt, scoops up Bucket, and carries him off to bed.
Fin.
A/N: At last…. The end. Praise the Dragon and the Rose for staying up to help me finish this past her bedtime. Send her fresh strawberry pie. Praise her!
Thud.
Τρία walks in, gathers up the puddle of Corvus, and carries her off to bed.
Zzzzzzzz….