She's My Collar

By: KKM

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gorillaz or any related characters/songs. Gorillaz are © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.

Last Time:

"I guess the beginning would make the most sense. But it was way before we actually got together," she admitted to them. When they stayed silent she took it as a sign to continue. "I'd had my eyes on Stu since after we'd came back from Plastic Beach."

"Since Wobble Street?" Murdoc questioned incredulously. He hadn't expected her infatuation to have begun so early. "But wot the hell could 'ave possibly happened there? We was barely there a yea' an' you was a moody lil' mess at the beginnin'."

"I'd been nearly blown up on your damn set, escaped, went to hell and back, got kidnapped, went through hell getting away from those stupid pirate-friends of yours, and returned to find out I'd been replaced by a fucking cyborg. How would you feel?" she hissed, effectively silencing him. The kidnapped part struck out to him as something new, but he chose not to comment. Once he looked properly admonished, she continued. "Yes, Wobble Street is where I began my plan to seduce Toochi," she nodded thoughtfully.

"It all started when…"

Chapter 3: Ascension

Noodle sighed unhappily as she gazed at her reflection in the dirty window of her bedroom in their small home on Wobble Street. She was sitting in a chair next to it with a deep frown on her face. Ever since she had reunited with her boys, she had been finding it harder and harder to be the girl she once was. Russel seemed to think she was still a little girl who needed coddling and extra attention. Every time she turned around, the large drummer was there asking her a million questions about how she was doing or if he could get her anything. He'd even sat down with her at one point trying to get her to talk about where she'd been. In the end, his questions had gotten him nowhere and he'd stood in somewhat of a huff before telling her that if she needed anything he'd always be there for her to talk.

If that wasn't bad enough, Murdoc's reaction to her return had been much more unbearable. At first he'd tried to play it off as if he hadn't cared that she was gone (this was an obvious lie because he'd since then told her that he'd really made Cyborg Noodle because he missed her – he'd been very inebriated at the time). Then he began to suck up to her out of what she could only assume was guilt from not being able to find her for all those horrible years. When she'd walk into a room with him, he'd suddenly change his attitude and either find a way to get out of the room as fast as he could or give her a slightly frightened look while trying to offer her things that used to be her favorites to please her. She supposed that if she'd watched the way she'd savagely torn her cybernetic twin apart, she might've been a bit put off by it too. But it still annoyed her beyond belief.

They just didn't know how to be around her anymore. Not that she could blame them much considering how much had changed in such a short time. But she wished that they would leave her alone and stop treating her so… delicately. She was not some sort of china doll that would break or a ticking time-bomb that would suddenly go off at the lightest prod. She was still their Noodle.

Wasn't she?

Maybe not. If she could barely recognize the person staring back at her in the grimy glass, then how could they? Even at just twenty years of age, her face held the stress lines of someone much older; someone who had been through things that no twenty year old should have to deal with. Her skin was a sickly pale color that seemed to glow unnaturally back at her. Even more so when it was in direct contrast with the horrible discoloration around her eye. The purple was slowly fading, but her eye still looked horrible and bloodshot giving her a painful reminder of the time she'd spent in hell before her kidnapping.

Her eyes tore away from her reflection a moment as she heard faint footfalls from down the hall. Frowning, she quickly flicked her long bangs back over her face to cover her eye before staring unseeingly back at the windrow. She hoped that whoever it was would continue past her room because she wasn't really in the mood to deal with more questions. She tensed a little as she heard them behind her continue into her room. It seemed that luck had not been on her side. She turned a little so that she could greet her new company, only giving a sigh of relief when she saw it was only 2D.

"Hey," she said, voice barely above a whisper for some reason. He barely acknowledged her as he walked as if on autopilot further into the room before plopping down cross-legged to join her in gazing listlessly out the window. She observed him a moment as his features stayed blank and his pupiless eyes unmoving. He'd been like this since they'd left Plastic Beach and were able to refill his prescriptions. He would go through his days barely acknowledging the world around him and only speaking when needed. From what she could tell, it was troubling Murdoc and Russel a great deal, but Noodle preferred it to the horrible state he'd been on the island. She knew better. He wasn't trying to ignore them on purpose. The singer was healing.

From what she could tell, 2D's needs had not been taken into consideration while he'd been under Murdoc's care without the others. He'd been consumed by grief when he had thought she was dead and hadn't had a chance to heal properly before the older man had whisked him away. Usually either herself or Russ would have made sure that he was eating properly or taking his medicine, but that hadn't been an option. Depression caused him to barely eat unless Muds or Cyborg forced him to. When he was locked in that underwater prison with his worst fear as company he began to have delusions. The worst had apparently occurred when they'd ran out of 2D's medications and Murdoc had refused to go to civilization to get them. The detox combined with his horrible headaches had almost been too much for him.

Noodle knew that 2D wasn't helpless by any means, but without proper care who would have done any better in that situation?

The first thing they'd done for him when they got to Wobble was to get him back on his medications and to get him and Murdoc some therapy (whether they wanted it or not). From what she could tell, Murdoc had stopped going after the first week which was expected. 2D was still going, but his schedule was becoming more irregular with it. Now that he was back on his meds, he seemed to slowly be getting back into the hang of things.

He was really the only one she could stand being in a room with anymore. He never pushed her into talking if she didn't want to. He never bombarded her with questions of where had she been or what had happened. He never treated her like a little girl. He only offered her silent comfort and a hug when she needed it. Some might say that it wasn't much, but she really appreciated it. Even now, no matter how far gone his mind was, she knew he was there to offer his form of comfort when no one else could.

She blinked when she realized that she'd been staring at him for too long. Somewhere between then and now he'd stopped staring blankly at the window and was giving her a questioning glance. She blushed and sniffled a bit as she looked away. Sniffled? Had she been crying again? This was becoming a regular occurrence too since they'd gotten back. When the boys would all be asleep, she'd be awake from her horrifying nightmares crying silently about the past.

"Noodle?" his voice was somewhat raspy from disuse, but she could hear it all the same as she tried in vain to wipe her freefalling tears away.

"I'm sorry," she muttered as she stayed sitting dejectedly in her seat, not looking at him. She was embarrassed that he'd seen her like this. She felt a warm hand over hers and looked back at him again to see those hollow eyes staring deeply into her own. Perhaps he hadn't been as far gone as she'd thought.

"Tell me," he said simply. It was odd how she felt right then. All the times that Russel and Murdoc had tried coaxing the truth from her came rushing to the forefront of her memory. She'd refused each time and yet as 2D asked… no, told her to tell him, she felt no such reservations. She knew that out of all of them, he would be the least likely to judge her for her actions. She swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat and slowly lowered herself from the chair so that she could sit closer to him. He easily guided her so that she was practically in his lap with his long lanky arms surrounding her securely as if protecting her from her demons.

She took a deep shaky breath as she leaned her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes. His scent had always done wonders to relax her. "I-I…" she trailed off as he rested his chin on top of her head and waited for her to calm herself. "I killed someone," the truth tumbled from her lips before she even knew what she was saying. She felt him tense around her for a moment before he seemed to force his muscles to relax again. "I-I didn't really have a c-choice," she whispered, wondering if she was trying to convince him this or herself still. "It took me so long to escape from H-Hell. There were d-demons everywhere laughing. I can still hear them l-laughing," her voice sounded frail and haunted. "They kept telling me I belonged there, but I knew I didn't!" she hissed.

"They were k-keeping me to get back at M-Murdoc. But they were getting lazy," she told them, her voice steadily becoming stronger as she relived it. Her fingers gripped his shirt tightly a she continued. "I was so happy when I finally escaped. I thought I'd finally been freed! But he was there," she practically growled. She couldn't even feel the light fingers that were gliding through her hair trying to calm her. She was too focused on what she was saying. "He was one of those horrible pirates that'd been after Murdoc. I was too weak from finally escaping Hell to fight back and they imprisoned me. It was like going back all over again! And it was fucking Murdoc's fault again. Though he couldn't have known…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

"There were too many of them. I knew I couldn't escape by fighting my way to the top of the ship. It just wouldn't have been that easy. So instead I let my training take over me and I devised a plan. I would pretend I was on their side to gain their trust so that I could escape. At first they were suspicious, but what would a young girl be able to do to them? At one of the raids they did, they came back with a bunch of medical equipment and gave me that nurse uniform. Apparently their crew didn't have anyone who knew anything about medicine and they could tell I was smart so they tried to use me for it. I would have started poisoning them then, but I thought I'd get caught," she explained.

"But then one night I was asked to go up and see the captain in his personal quarters," her voice lowered again as if she wasn't looking forward to this part. 2D gave her a small squeeze of courage and she spoke again in somewhat of a monotone voice. "At first I wasn't sure why they'd brought me. There was a rumor going around the ship that Murdoc had holed up on an island somewhere. I thought he wanted to question me about that. I was wrong, he wanted me for something entirely different. In that stupid fucking dress they'd apparently realized I was a bit older than I looked and there weren't any other women on the ship. Before I knew it he tried to lunge at me and I dogged trying to fight him but he was bigger and stronger than I was. He punched me in the eye and kicked me down to the floor. He would have had me too if I hadn't have noticed the gun that was under his bed when I fell. He grabbed my ankle to pull me back to him and I grabbed that gun without a single thought."

The room was silent as the two of them reflected on the story she'd just told him. Noodle sat quietly in his arms trembling. Would he think she was a monster now? It was in self-defense, but she'd killed the man in cold blood. Even after she'd shot him, she hadn't hesitated firing on the crew on her way out before diving into the ocean to escape. Did that make her a bad person? She'd never killed before but somewhere deep in her psyche she knew that was what she was trained to be; a mindless killer. Before she knew what she was doing, she'd begun to sob again clinging to him for dear life hoping against all hope that he would not want to leave her.

To her horror, she felt him lean back as if to get away from her, causing her to gasp in dismay. But when his hands rested on either side of her face instead, she tried to calm down and look up at him. There was no sign of disgust at all on his loving face, but his eyes regarded her with deep concern. "Noodle," he started carefully, "I'm no' gonna think any less of ya' fo' protecting yourself. It sounded li' tha' man woulda' taken mo' than your dignity if yeh hadn't 'ave stopped 'im. Think of wha' he'd have done to tha' next one." His voice was sincere as he spoke to her. She didn't doubt for a minute that he'd listened to each word she'd spoke in great detail. "Don' let tha' man get you down, love. He don't deserve it. Tha' only reason why it's botherin' you so much is 'cause you're too good. You went through somefing terrible an' you're bein' too good giving 'im any mind." He told her, his thoughts seemed jumbled, but she understood what he was saying all the same.

"Really?" She asked, holding his gaze as if it was the only thing in the world keeping her stable right now.

"Really, love," he promised, wiping away her remaining tears. "I know yeh don't wanna hear it but Russ an' even ol' Muds are really trying ta' be there for yeh. I fink they know somefin's wrong, they jus' dunno what. We love you an' dun wanna see ya' hurting so bad."

"I know," she frowned, looking down again. "But I don't want anyone else to know. I don't think I can handle saying it again."

"Then don't," he surprised her by saying. "If you're no' ready, then they dun need ta' know. It's all about wha' makes you feel comfy."

"And when did you become such an expert?" she asked in a teasing manner, the first smile blooming on her face in what seemed like years. When he smiled back at her, it grew wider in response.

"Well, when ya' seen as many therapists as I 'ave ova the years you start remembering these things," he joked, tickling her side gently. She laughed before smacking his arm lightly and extracting herself from his warm embrace to stand.

"Thanks, Toochi," she said genuinely as she helped the tall singer to his feet. Then she surprise him by leaning up to give him a sweet peck on the cheek. "I feel a lot better."

She could have imagined it, but she swore he was blushing as he replied, "yeah, no problem," and left her to be alone with her thoughts.

(Present Time.)

"It was after that day that I started taking more of an interest in him. He'd really helped me mentally with the demons I'd been struggling with for months. Any time I would have a nightmare or relapse back into my depressed state, he'd suddenly be there sitting with me silently or just holding me until it was over. I remember thinking that it was odd that the one person in the house that I'd thought wouldn't have the capacity to understand what I was going through was helping me out the most," she explained with a dreamy look on her face as she seemed to shift through her thoughts, then her pupils seemed to flick back into focus as her gaze shifted to a gob-smacked Murdoc. "He's really a lot smarter than you give him credit for. You just have to give him some time to think first."

"Neva' mind that, girl! Why didn't yeh tell us about tha' fuckin' pirate!?" he shouted, looking pale. It was his turn to be outraged. Beside him Russel looked somewhere between horrified and defeated. His baby girl had been through all of that and hadn't been able to tell him? It was overwhelming the big man to say the least.

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you guys," she gestured between them. "Murdoc, you're feeling guilty so now you'll probably be hell to deal with the next few weeks because you know that if they wouldn't have been looking for you I'd never have been in any of those situations. And I didn't tell you, Russel because I didn't want to disappoint you. I'd just gotten my family back, I didn't want to lose you all over again," she sighed, placing her head in her hands.

"You wouldn't have lost us, baby girl," Russ' gentle voice cut through the chaos as he reached across the table to place his hand on her arm. "We just wanted to understand at the time. You were so violent and moody anytime one of us talked to you. I guess I'm just glad that you opened up to 'D before something really terrible would have happened." Russel had seen depression ruin a lot of good people over his life and he didn't want Noodle to be one of them. "But I still don't understand how that lead to you two bein' together."

By now, Murdoc had calmed down somewhat, but his hands were now shaking a little bit. As tough an act as he put on, he absolutely hated that he was normally the cause of his family's pain. Noodle had always been special to him even though he wasn't the mushy type. She was completely on point when she'd said he'd feel guilty about all of this. In a way though he was glad it hadn't been brought up back then though. He knew his reaction would have been ten times worse. Wounds had still been fresh back then; it would not have been good.

"Well, like I said that was merely when I started to notice him more. I suppose after that, it developed into more of a one-sided crush. We grew much closer because of what we'd shared that day, but I don't think he knew at the time just how much I appreciated him for it. I really didn't get to try and pursue anything until after we were evicted." With that, she sat up straight. It was time to get the rest of it off of her chest.

A/N: Wow, I'm on a roll! Lol, I was actually in a bad mood today so I channeled it into being a busy body and this chapter came about! I promise the next chapter will be much happier. The next chapter is actually the one I've been looking forward to! Let's just say there will be a cute dance scene involving a record player. tee hee! ~ Also, no more of this crying shit. I don't want people to get the wrong idea about Noodle. She'd a strong fierce woman in this story.