What You Wish For
Hey guys! Thought I'd be nice and give you two chapters at once. Again, let me know what you think. I own nothing. Please review!
Fin finally gets Olivia alone. What does he have to say?
"You thinkin' about the case?" Fin's eyes were watching her intently as they ate their dinner. Olivia sighed, lowering her spaghetti laden fork. They were in a little Italian place she'd never been to before. Her eyes caught Fin's and she saw him frown, taking in her expression.
"A bit." She shrugged apologetically. She knew Fin would understand. He knew the hazards of the job.
"Want to talk about it?"
"What's there to say? Case closed, right?" Another wry smile crossed her lips as she sipped her beer.
"Sometimes talking about it helps. Pretty sure you said that to me once." He chuckled. Olivia laughed.
"Sounds like something I would say."
"It was tough, Liv. No one is denyin' that. What that woman did to her babies…" He shook his head, disgusted.
"I just don't understand how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood. I mean, we deal with murder and rape every day. We deal with hate and anger and plain old idiocy. But what she did; it was calculated. She planned each one of those pregnancies. She made money off those babies and when they were no use to her any more she just killed them. It got to me." Olivia could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she blinked rapidly, forcing them back. They got the woman, she reminded herself. That woman would be going to prison for a very long time. Not that it changed the fact that four babies were dead.
"Because you want a baby." Fin's voice was low, his eyes on his plate. Olivia's head jerked up in surprise.
"What?"
"The case got to you 'cause you want to have a baby of your own and that woman was just throwin' them away." His eyes met hers and Olivia could see a myriad of emotions swirling there. She'd never noticed how emotive Fin's eyes were before.
"Fin…" she started, not sure where he was going with this. It was true; she was desperate to have a child of her own. But she didn't think it was common knowledge. Elliot knew, of course, because he was her partner. And deep down, Olivia had always hoped that one day maybe she would be having Elliot's baby. But she didn't want everyone at the Precinct talking about "poor old Olivia Benson, no man to give her a baby". She could feel her hackles going up and Fin saw it too.
"Just let me explain, ok?" He raised a hand, willing her not to hit him. He knew Olivia too well and knew that when she was cornered she didn't always react well. When she nodded her consent he took a deep breath. He felt like a fool for being nervous. He dealt with criminals every day. He was a grown man. He shouldn't be scared of offering what he was about to offer. But he knew that a lot rode on this and things could definitely take a turn for the worse. He just didn't want to ruin his friendship with Olivia if this didn't work out.
"I want to give you a baby." Well, apparently he wasn't going to ease into this. He was just going to blurt it right out. And judging by the expression on Olivia's face – it was not what she was expecting him to say.
"You want to give me a baby?" Olivia was dumbfounded. She didn't understand what Fin was saying.
"Yeah. My baby. Well, it would be our baby. Or your baby. But…yeah…" He trailed off pathetically, wishing he'd rehearsed this in his head more.
"You want to have a baby with me?" Olivia's brain seemed to be moving like molasses. She couldn't quite process what Fin was saying. He wanted to have a baby with her? As in, make a baby?
"I know you've wanted a baby for a long time, Liv. And I know that I'm not Stabler," he paused when she shot him a dirty look. "But you could spend the rest of your life waitin' for that fool to realise what he's got sittin' right in front of him. I could be the guy, Liv. If you wanted. I know it ain't conventional. But I know I have feelin's for you, and you care 'bout me. We could make it work. You deserve to be a momma. I don't want you to miss out on that." Fin sighed; relieved at getting what he'd been thinking about for months off his chest. This case had been the catalyst for him telling her.
Olivia's mind was reeling. A baby? After all this time it was like her dream was being handed to her on a silver platter. Fin was offering to have a baby with her. But what did that mean? She didn't love him but he was right; she cared about him deeply. Would he want to be in the baby's life? They weren't even dating. And what would happen at work? IAB would have a field day with this. And what would Elliot think? Her heart skipped a beat at that thought. What would Elliot think? She couldn't believe Fin had called her on her feelings for her partner. Were they that obvious? But he had a point. Elliot had never made any sign that he felt for her what she felt for him. Even since his divorce. She might spend the rest of her life waiting for him to make a move and by then it would be too late. She would have missed her chance at having a baby of her own. But to have a baby with Fin? What would that mean?
Fin watched the myriad of emotions flicker across Olivia's face. He could almost hear her thoughts as they raced through her mind. She was staring at him, her eyes wide, and he wondered if she really would hit him. He knew calling her on the Stabler issue was a risk, but he wanted her to know that he wasn't going to jerk her around like her idiot partner. Fin liked Stabler just fine, but the man was a Neanderthal who had no idea what he was missing. Olivia was a treasure and Elliot was blind to her.
"Baby girl?" He questioned tentatively, preparing himself for a fist to the face. His voice shook her out of her reverie.
"Fin, have you thought this through?" Her voice was strained.
"More than you know." He said with an embarrassed smile.
"You already have a son… I… would you…" Liv struggled to find the right words.
"This would be your child, Liv. I'd be as involved as you want me to be. If you don't want the baby to know I'm it's father I'd deal with that. And if you want it, I'd be there every step of the way."
"What about work?" Olivia hated asking, knowing that work was half the reason she'd never managed to have a serious relationship which might have eventually led her to having a child in a more conventional manner.
"What about it? We don't have to tell them. You'd still be able to work for a while. I mean, I wouldn't want you getting hurt or nothin' but I wouldn't make you give up the job."
"Fin…" She gave him a pained look. Fin cut her off, knowing that she was talking herself out of this.
"I get that it ain't conventional, baby girl. But think about it, yeah? It's just an offer. One friend to another. You want something so bad and I can give it to you. Work and all that – it will sort out. I don't want you to think you can't do this because of some stupid reason. If you want this, then I'm there for you. If you don't, well it's no skin off my nose."
"I'm going to need to think about this Fin. It's kind of a big deal." Olivia twisted her napkin in her hands, her eyes searching Fin's face for any hint of doubt. She needed to know if he meant this.
"Take all the time you need, baby girl. I know it's out there, and I know you weren't expectin' it. I was actually plannin' on askin' you on a date. But then this case came along." He shrugged nonchalantly. Olivia smiled. Only Fin could make something as huge as his proposition seem so casual.
"A date?" Olivia teased, glad for the opportunity to lighten the mood.
"Yeah. I mean, I'm no Stabler, but I like you Liv. No secret. Figured maybe if we spent some time together it might help make this seem a little less weird."
"You shouldn't keep comparing yourself to him, Fin." Olivia chided. It made her uncomfortable, how well Fin knew her. She didn't want constant reminders of her feelings for Elliot. It wasn't as though she wasn't already trying to figure out what he'd think of this whole situation.
"You spend seven years watching a woman watch another man; it becomes habit." Fin shrugged again. Olivia processed that. He'd been watching her for seven years. Was she really that blinded by Elliot as to not even notice another man watching her?
"Anyway, let me take you home. You can think it through. Let me know whenever." Fin threw some money on the table to cover the bill and stood. Olivia followed suit and allowed Fin to take her home.
Like a gentleman, Fin walked her to her door. Olivia smiled at the gesture. Despite his rough and tough exterior, Fin was really just a big softy. She was going to enjoy teasing him about it when her head stopped spinning.
"Thanks for dinner, Fin." She smiled.
"No problem. I meant what I said, Liv. Think about it."
"Trust me, I will." She smirked. "You kind of threw me a curveball."
"Gotta live dangerously." Fin chuckled.
"In our line of work?"
"Like you aren't addicted to it." Fin murmured, moving closer. He held back, their faces inches apart, for a moment; giving Olivia the chance to pull back. When she didn't he gently grazed his lips over hers in a soft kiss. It was merely a touch of the lips, a split second in time, barely enough for him to get the taste of her on his lips. He pulled back and caught her eyes.
"Night baby girl." He smiled.
"Night Fin." Her fingers traced her lips as he walked away and out into the night.
Oh boy! A bit of a cliff hanger there. Well not really, but enough to keep you wondering what the? Hope you enjoyed! More to come but not until I get some reviews telling me what people think!