A/N: A change of tone in our Happily Ever After series.

Chasing Angels

"Chasing angels or fleeing demons, go to the mountains."
(Jeffrey Rasley)

Hair still wet, Carolina pulled on a clean shirt, a black stock lying out on the dresser. She was fastening the ties of her shirt around her wrists when she felt cool arms encircle her waist.

"May I help?" Elsa asked.

"Helping me put clothes on, now that would be a change," Carolina smirked.

Elsa replied lightly, "Really, is it always my fault?" Then she picked up the stock and frowned. "This is a little formal, how about ..." she edged herself closer to the drawer and neatly reorganized the neckware. "Here. I like this one better." Elsa held up a cream colored silk cravat.

"Of course, my queen," Carolina dipped her head in a slight bow, "your wish is my command."

"Mmmmm." Elsa turned her around so that they were facing and began to wrap the cravat. "You know I never understood that turn of phrase. Who exactly are you commanding? There are only two of us here, and I'm the one wishing, but it hardly seems to fit the meaning of the statement if you're commanding me … and then there is that you actually can't." She finished off with a lose knot.

Carolina tugged a bit at the intricate knot in her cravat. "How exotic, your Majesty."

"It suits you," Elsa said with wink. She moved out of the way as Carolina went to claim her coat. "So I was thinking perhaps we should invite Anna."

"On our trip to the North Mountain," Carolina tried unsuccessfully to keep the disappointment from her voice.

"Yes." Elsa wrinkled her nose, a sure sign that something was amiss. "And you're not happy about that?"

"It's fine," Carolina looked briefly in the mirror and ran her fingers through her hair. It seemed suitable enough. Then she looked up at the ceiling and sat on the bed. "No, actually," she corrected herself, "and I am being selfish, I know, but I have spent the entire day with your sister. And as charming and lovable as she is, I had hoped … I had hoped to spend the evening with you. And, of course with Olaf," she added as an afterthought. "If Anna is there … well, we'll talk, she'll talk and you'll listen like you always do ... and," she stood up and walked over to Elsa, "I want to get to know you better, too. I thought this could be an opportunity for us … for you, maybe to talk … about you?"

"You don't know me?" Elsa chuckled nervously, worrying her left hand with her right as she turned away from Carolina.

"In some ways, yes, I do ..." Carolina replied seriously, "and in some ways, no. You know far more about me than I do about you." Carolina rescued Elsa's hand and held it to her own chest, "It is up to you, your choice. But if you are asking me my preference, it would be for us to be alone …. excepting any snowmen that might join us."

Elsa pulled away from her and backed up toward the door, "I'm just not the tour guide my sister is. I am afraid it might be boring. And Anna will want to come. Really it's for the best."

The part about Anna wanting to come was probably the truth, Carolina knew that. But it still didn't sit well. Maybe she was being unreasonable, jealous even, but shouldn't she have the chance to spend time alone talking with the woman she wanted to be with? Shouldn't that woman want to spend time alone with her?

That's when she came to a rather sudden realization. They hadn't had an intimate conversation since she had agreed to stay in Arendelle. They had been intimate … and Carolina had no complaints there, but recently it seemed like having intimate relations had supplanted conversation. And they had never had a serious conversation about Elsa's powers. She really didn't even know what Elsa could do beyond a few snowflakes and some ice. Sure Hanson had told her that Elsa had wrecked the Vigilant, but that was hard to imagine … and Olaf? That was even harder to imagine. She looked up at Elsa and considered what to say, but she was already through the open door.

"I'll just go talk to Anna. Maybe she'll want to bring Kristoff."

Carolina nodded vaguely at Elsa's retreating form. She was clearly uncomfortable with the idea of going on this trip alone with her, and probably not because of fears that she would be a poor tour guide. But Carolina also knew that sex wasn't enough. If this relationship was going to be something ... something ... they would need to understand each other. They needed to actually talk, and not just about the easy things. Unfortunately her own experience with that concept was only theoretical. In her own life she had never been completely open with anyone. There was definitely some "blind leading the blind" here.

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"Oh, sorry little guy," Elsa apologized after she bumped into Olaf in her hurry to get out the door and down the stairs. She slowed down to a more sedate walk once she determined Fitz wasn't following her.

"So," the snowman asked brightly, following her, "where are we going?"

"We?" Elsa looked down in surprise. "I am going to ask Anna if she wants to come up to the North Mountain with us and perhaps bring Kristoff."

Olaf looked up at her, frowned and asked, "Why?"

"I thought she might enjoy it. She did last time."

"Yeah, so why are you bringing her this time?"

"Because ..." now it was Elsa's turn to frown. "I want to."

He stopped walking and blinked up at her with childlike innocence. "Why?"

"Because she's my sister."

"But why do you need her to go with you and Fitz? You told me that," the snowman looked positively puzzled, "that being with Fitz is different from being with Anna. If it's different, should your sister be there?"

"Olaf, are you trying to tell me something?" Elsa asked. She then continued suspiciously, "Did Fitz tell you to talk to me?"

Now Olaf looked confused, "No … I mean no to Fitz, and yes, because," he titled his head quizzically, "aren't you always trying to tell someone something when you talk to them?"

Elsa smiled at the snowman's literal wisdom, "I guess that's true."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Olaf asked, clearly feeling this was a concept that needed to be explored from both sides.

Elsa thought for a long moment, then she led Olaf into one of the several parlors off the main hallway. She held the door open for the snowman and once he was inside she took a seat so they were at eye level. Finally she confessed, "the truth is that I'm a little frightened. I'm afraid that when she sees what my magic can do … it could be a problem … we could have problems. "

"Problems? Don't you love her? Oh wait … Anna said it's too soon."

"What?" Elsa's voice caught in surprise. "Anna's talking to you about my relationship with Fitz? Or are you talking about it with Anna?"

"Well I was talking to her how it was different between you and Fitz than with her. And that I was sorry that she couldn't sleep with you. And ..."

Elsa held up her hand. She'd heard quite enough already. And she found it very interesting that Anna thought she could decide when enough time had passed for declarations of love. "I think we've successfully passed the "true love" cooling off period," she muttered, deciding that a discussion with Anna about appropriate topics for Olaf might not be amiss. "But yes, Olaf. I think I might love her, so that makes me even more nervous."

"So … if you love her, don't you think she might love you?"

"Um ..." Elsa chewed her lower lip, "I hope so?"

"She gave up being a captain to be here."

"Yes."

"She gave up her family and her friends to be here."

"Yes," Elsa sighed.

"And the only reason I see for her to be here is you. I mean she's likes Anna … and Kristoff … and Sven … and me," he said the last with a little pleased shake of his head, "but …." and he dropped his voice in to a whisper, hiding his mouth behind his hand as if revealing a great secret, "I hear it's different."

"But that's part of the problem." Elsa saw Olaf was trying to figure that one out. "Not the different part," she explained, "the Fitz gave up so much part. She gave up her whole life. What did I give up?" Elsa shrugged in answer to her own question.

Olaf thought hard about this one, his eyebrows dipping into a deep furrow. "Well, maybe you could start by … by giving up being afraid?" He then looked at Elsa and nodded in happy affirmation.

It seemed to always come down to that, didn't it? Elsa thought. She had admitted to Olaf, she was afraid because she didn't know what she would do if Carolina couldn't accept who she was. And there was that nagging voice in the back of her head; a voice that sounded an awful lot like her lover right now, saying, 'To accept you, I have to know you.' Elsa sighed, her eyebrow raised, "Are you sure Fitz didn't talk to you?"

"She talks to me all the time," Olaf said earnestly. "Just this morning we talked about how interesting it is when the butter melts into the little cracks in the bread and then when you bite it, it drips out."

Elsa chuckled, "I see. " But it didn't really matter; she had her answer. She smiled as she stood up. "So who made you so smart, little guy?"

Olaf knew the answer to that question. "You did."

"Well in that case, I guess I just have to take your advice, right?" Her eyes lingered on him fondly, "Thank you, Olaf."

"Thanks for what?" Again he blinked his eyes innocently.

"Talking to me," she said. And then before he could launch into an explanation of how they often talked and what the subjects of their most recent conversations had been, she redirected him. "Let's go see about getting something for supper packed. It seems like the three of us are going to have quite an expedition."

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They had agreed to meet downstairs near the kitchens. Fitz had finally finished packing, and Elsa had looked over some last minute paperwork.

Elsa's was a little surprised when she saw the substantial bag Fitz was carrying. "That's … a lot."

"Be prepared. Motto of … well, I'm sure it's the motto of lots of groups of people."

"But what do you have in there?"

Fitz pulled the drawstring open at the end of the sea bag. A woolen blanket peeped out. "You said to pack warm things. I packed warm things." The bag clanked a little, like glass bottles hitting each other, when she put it down. "And some things to keep me … us warm."

At the "us" Elsa was reminded, "It's just us tonight … the three of us, and then Marshmallow when we get up there. I thought that … well, four seemed like enough don't you think?"

Fitz considered a smart retort, something that reminded Elsa that had been her idea in the first place, but then it occurred to her that rubbing it in was not going to make Elsa any less nervous and cranky or herself any happier when that happened, so she just smiled and agreed. "Yeah, that sounds great. Are we riding?" She felt unreasonably adult and mature.

But the nervous hitch returned to Elsa's voice as she explained, "If we walk it will take us most of the night, but we won't take the horses. I'm thinking a sleigh."

"Interesting. I suppose it's silly of me to note that sleighs usually require snow?" Fitz teased.

Elsa rolled her eyes in spite of herself, "That won't be a problem."

They picked up Olaf from the kitchens. Olaf was excitedly carrying the picnic hamper. Well, he was excited and carrying the hamper, which seemed to be the equivalent. He slid up and down the hall chattering a mile a minute.

"And you thought we needed Anna," Fitz said under her breath

Elsa ignored the comment and led the small party out into courtyard, and then out through a side gate to the fjord. Once there she took a breath, closed her eyes, and began to use her magic. Fitz felt the temperature drop. She saw blue sparks shoot from Elsa's hands, something that was more noticeable in the twilight. As they watched, a sleigh was built from the ground up. It had no reins, or horses, and Fitz idly wondered if horses would mind pulling something that was conjured out of thin air. But then it was done, and Elsa got in and gestured for them to follow her.

"We can cross the fjord here." She gestured to the water in front of them, looking around like someone was going to jump out from behind a rock and forcibly stop her.

Fitz nodded and threw her bag in the back. It settled in with a muffled clank.

Once Olaf was inside Elsa made a small pushing motion with her fingers and the sleigh took off. Fitz watched nervously as the sled runners touched the water. Swimming had not been part of her plan for tonight. But the fjord froze just under the sleigh, and they continued across it at a rather brisk speed.

When they reached the other bank, where a grassy meadow surrounded by trees led up the hillside, Elsa stopped the sleigh. She looked back at the fjord and the castle. Once she saw that all the ice had melted behind them she let out the breath that she had been holding, visibly relieved.

"Are you alright?" Fitz asked.

"I just wanted to make sure that I didn't freeze everything." Elsa replied, gesturing for the sleigh to go and starting their journey up the hill.

"Really? You were worried about freezing the harbor?"

"Yes, really." Elsa replied seriously. "I did it once. I froze everything. I could do it again."

"But your control," Something occurred to Fitz, "were you worried about freezing me in the courtyard?"

Elsa sighed and looked out at the quickly passing scenery. "I am getting more control, which also means I am getting more comfortable. So sometimes I just use magic now without really thinking about it … I mean, until just after I do it then … and it's a little late, I know...but then I start to worry."

"You hid it well," Fitz commented, "I never would have guessed this afternoon."

"Yes," Elsa replied after a moment, "I hide it well."

A tense silence settled until Olaf let out a whoop, and threw himself out of the front of the sleigh only to slide up the back. "Let's go to Elsa's Ice Palace," he crowed, and then continued leaping out and sliding back. They both had to laugh at that. Carolina leaned in closer and put her arm around Elsa. She gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You don't have to hide it with me, you know."

Elsa nodded, but didn't meet her eyes. In attempt to lighten the mood, Carolina continued, "Wow," taking some of Anna's jargon. "This really moves. How long will it take us to get there."

"Less than an hour," Elsa answered. "But it's not close."

"And you walked all the way up there in one night?"

Elsa's gaze flickered back to the swiftly moving landscape. "Yes. I was very upset. I'm not exactly sure how I did it. Well, I'm pretty sure there was magic involved, but the whole thing is a blur. I was just scared and running."

The sleigh picked up speed. Carolina hugged Elsa closer. She was shaking. "And you're scared now. I'm sorry. I'm an insensitive clod." She shook her head. "I should have realized that was the most frightening night of your life."

There was a moment of silence. "Not the most," Elsa said softly.

Carolina looked at her not sure exactly what she had heard.

"That was not the worst night of my life," Elsa repeated looking back at her. "The worst was when I almost killed Anna ... or maybe it was when I actually killed her."

"Oh," Carolina said quietly. "Yes." She gently pushed back a stray lock of hair that had fallen on Elsa's face and then ran her fingers across her cheek. "You were young."

"The first time," Elsa said, trying to keep a tight rein on her emotions. "I was eight."

Carolina closed her eyes. Eight. Suddenly she understood why Anna had been so upset when talking to her about this. "Do you want to tell me … Anna mentioned it, a little?"

"It would have to be a very little," Elsa said with just a touch of bitterness. "She doesn't really remember it. I mean the trolls took care of that. And I wasn't supposed to talk about it, or my magic, or …. well, anything."

"Yes, that was what she said."

Elsa shut her eyes and leaned her head back. She could feel Carolina's arm still close around her. "I suppose," she said haltingly, "I suppose you should know. It's where it all starts. It's why everything else happened. It's why Anna is the way she is … and it's why I'm the way I am."

Keeping her eyes closed Elsa told the story. Carolina was struck by the level of detail she included. She remembered everything. Their clothes, everything they did, the order they did it in, Anna tumbling to the ground, the pictures in the book, the way her parents had looked at Anna, the frightening silence of the ride, the trolls, what she had seen in the sky … everything as if she had just lived it yesterday. Carolina knew then this was a story Elsa had been telling herself for a very long time, reminding herself of the price for using her magic, memorizing guilt and shame until it became rote. And it still inflicted a heavy toll in emotional turmoil, for by the end of the story the sleigh was moving so fast everything outside was a blur.

"Elsa," Carolina said softly, gently rubbing Elsa's shoulder. "You should slow us down ... a little."

Elsa's eyes popped open and she looked around. Then she closed her left hand slowly into a fist; the sleigh slowed.

"I'm sorry," she breathed.

"It's OK," Carolina said with a grin and a shrug,"I just didn't want our date to end too quickly."

Elsa looked distinctly torn between laughing and crying. "I wouldn't get hurt," she choked out. "My magic doesn't hurt me."

"And I'm too lucky to get hurt," Carolina whispered in her ear, "or too stupid. Didn't you tell me that?"

This time Elsa snorted in what was almost wry amusement, "I think I said lacking in good sense."

"Well that, too."

Carolina looked into Elsa's eyes. She desperately wanted to comfort the little girl in there, but she had no idea how to. She settled for hugging her close.

The sleigh stopped. They got out into the snow that always covered the top of the mountain. Carolina took her bag; Olaf grabbed the picnic hamper, and Elsa led them on a short path near a rock face. When they came out the other side the palace was visible, gleaming against the peak of the North Mountain.

"So," Elsa shrugged, nervously wringing her hands. "This is it. Um, Elsa's Ice Palace."

Carolina was struck speechless; she just looked up and stared. Finally she managed a little, "Oh."

"We can go in. I mean we should probably go in. It might be a little warmer, and I would like to show you … it."

"Oh. OK." This time Carolina nodded, her eyes still wide.

"We don't have to go in. I mean, if you don't want to."

"No," Carolina looked to Elsa and grabbed her arm. "We're going in. We are definitely going in."

"Alright," Elsa smiled.

Olaf leaped from behind them. "I've got the picnic basket. It's my second picnic of today," he announced happily. "Not that I eat, but still … two picnics in one day, that's pretty special." He twirled the hamper around him. "You guys don't mind if I take the tablecloth, do you?"

"No, that's fine, little guy," Elsa said as she started to the stair and waited for Carolina. Carolina moved still in a daze, her attention focused only on the structure in front of them. Then Elsa sent a blast of power at Carolina's boots. "Now you should be able to walk without slipping."

Carolina just nodded and started up the stairs if climbing on ice was something she did everyday. At the top the doors opened as soon as Elsa reached the entryway. They stepped inside.

Carolina looked around. The intricate frozen fountain, the delicate staircases that wound around equally delicate lattice works of sheer ice, the arches that supported a domed ceiling inlaid with an enormous snowflake, it was all truly awe inspiring. She reached out and touched Elsa, waiting until she turned. "Remember when you first showed me the castle, and I kept calling the rooms impressive?"

"Yes."

"I take it back, they really aren't impressive at all. This is." Her voice was hushed; she felt like she was in a cathedral.

"Thank you," Elsa said shyly. "But … there's something well, nicer … prettier anyway … or at least I think so."

"Prettier … than this?" Carolina asked. "Well then, you must show me, because right now I'm not sure I believe it."

Elsa nodded, still shy, and took her hand to lead her up to the top floor.

"Wait, wait …" Olaf ran into the room, the checked tablecloth like a cape around his neck. "Marshmallow's almost ..."

There was a ferocious roar. Fitz instinctively pushed Elsa behind her and drew her sword. A huge snow monster came bounding in through the front door. He charged at Fitz who braced herself for the onslaught. But Elsa stepped out from behind her, and the monster grabbed her up into his arms.

"Elsa!" he cried in what was a snow monster version of glee.

"Gentle, gentle," she cautioned him as she patted his cheek. Then they fell together in the larger, Elsa with her feet not on the ground, version of Olaf's warm hug.

Olaf tugged on Fitz's coat. "That's my little brother, that's Marshmallow."

"Little brother?" Fitz asked looking up at the huge snowman.

"I was born … errrr, made … first," Olaf said decisively. I'm oldest. He's my little brother."

"What ever you say, Olaf. What ever you, say," Fitz breathed, yet again amazed by what Elsa had created.