What You Wish For
Chapter 10
I know I left you on a cliff hanger. And I know you love and appreciate me for it. Here's what happens next.
I don't own ANYTHING!
Lights. Noise. Confusion.
Elliot struggled to block out the chaos surrounding him. Instead, his eyes remained locked on his partner, willing her to look at him. One of his hands gripped hers tightly. The other, slippery with her blood, struggled to continue to apply pressure to the wound in her abdomen. He could feel the ooze of fresh blood around his fingers and knew that he wasn't doing enough. He should take off his jacket and use that to stop the blood flow. He should apply both hands to the wound. But he couldn't drop her hand. He couldn't divert his focus from willing her to stay with him.
Beside him he could sense Fin moving, could hear him yelling, could feel Fin's hands against his own on the wound. And yet it was muffled. Foggy. As though it were in slow motion. His brain wasn't keeping up with the situation at hand and for the first time in his extensive career Elliot Stabler recognised that he had frozen. He was unable to deal with the situation at hand and it was the one time his partner truly needed him. The one time she needed him to have her back and he was crouched there on the blood splattered pavement like a rookie.
Then there were other hands; new hands. They were shoving his out of the way. With a snarl he pushed at them, not wanting to release his pressure on Liv's body. More hands came at him from behind, pulling him back and Elliot swung around, wanting to hurt whoever was pulling him from Olivia.
"Elliot." It was Cragen, pulling him into a half hug, half hold. The older man was trying to keep Elliot out of the way of the paramedics. Elliot pulled against him, turning to see Liv moved onto a stretcher. The buttons on her shirt had been opened to expose the wound. Elliot's eyes fell to the lace of her bra. His brow furrowed.
"Her top," he said, his voice choked. He tried to pull away from Cragen. The Captain held him firmly.
"Elliot," he warned.
"She wouldn't want that." Elliot twisted his arm out of Cragen's grasp and staggered toward the stretcher. One of the paramedics; a bald, burly bloke with arms like tree trunks, held up a hand to stop him. "She wouldn't want that!" Elliot said again, his voice gaining strength. He shoved past the paramedic.
"Hey!"
Elliot reached Olivia and gently pulled her blouse closed before stepping back to let the stretcher through. He felt Don's hand on his shoulder. Looking up he noticed Fin was there. He'd forgotten Fin in the hubbub. He could see a black welt on the other man's face where his fist had connected. It seemed an age ago.
"Who's riding with us?" The paramedic asked, giving Elliot a sceptical look. Out of the corner of Elliot's eye he saw Fin take a step forward.
"I'm her partner." The words blurted out of Elliot's mouth before he had a chance to reconsider. He saw a dark look pass over Fin's face. Elliot had the grace, despite everything, to feel like an ass. It wasn't as though Fin could say he was Olivia's boyfriend. Elliot started to climb into the ambulance.
"We will meet you there," Cragen's voice came from behind him. Elliot managed a nod before the doors closed between them. Sitting, he took Olivia's hand in his. He'd never felt more helpless in his life.
The ambulance began to move and the paramedic in the back with them began to hook up an IV. Elliot watched, wishing he could do something, anything, and knowing that in this case he had completely let his partner down.
EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEO
"Patient with penetrating abdominal ballistics trauma. Airways compromised. Heavy blood loss. Severe abdominal distension. Patient going into shock."
"Prep OR 3. Mandelson will operate."
"Possible penetration of chest cavity. Wound has aspirated. We need a gastric decompression stat."
"Patient crashing. Get a cart."
"Rush it, this one's a cop.
EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEOF EOFEOFEOFEOFEO
Elliot found himself standing outside the double swinging doors with little idea as to how he got there. He was no stranger to hospitals. In fact, he'd spent his fair share of time as a patient in them. But he was rarely on the other side when it didn't relate to work and even more rare was he there because of an injury to his partner. Seeing as it was his job to protect her, and he took that job pretty seriously he'd done pretty well up until that point.
The paramedics hadn't told him a thing. He'd tried to listen to their chatter, tried to decipher the medical jargon. Some was familiar but he was in no state to put it together. They'd arrived at the emergency department and within seconds Liv had been rushed to an operating room. Elliot had been left to fend for himself.
Scrubbing his hands over his face he tried to gain control of his emotions. Rage. Terror. Worry. He was a mess and he was humming with adrenalin. Someone had shot at him. Someone had shot at his partner. Liv had been shot. Liv was possibly going to die. Desperately wanting to punch something, Elliot spun away from the doors and stalked towards the waiting room. He was not going to budge from one of those gaudy blue plastic chairs until the allowed him to lay his eyes on his partner and confirm that she was going to be ok. And even then, he knew he wouldn't leave the hospital.
Someone had shot Liv. Rage surfaced again and he clenched his fists. He was going to find the bastard that did this. He was going to find him and he was going to kill him.
A scuffling of feet and a chorus of voices pulled him from his dark reverie and he glanced up. Cragen and Fin entered the waiting area. Cragen's face showed his relief at finding Elliot there.
"How is she?" He asked, approaching quickly.
"I don't know." Elliot frowned.
"You mean you didn't ask?" Fin growled, pushing towards Elliot.
"They didn't tell me anything. They rushed her to the OR." Elliot stood, and tried to move around Fin.
"You and me need to have a conversation," Fin snapped at Elliot. Emotionally exhausted and too concerned about Liv to get into it with Fin again, Elliot tried once again to get around him.
"Move," he growled, getting into Fin's face.
"Cut it out, the two of you!" Cragen snapped. "Don't think your disagreement outside the precinct hasn't gotten back to me. I will deal with the both of you later. Right now my concern is Olivia." He looked around, as if searching for someone who could shed some light on the situation.
"We ain't finished," Fin snapped, moving away from Elliot.
Ignoring him Elliot started to pace the small space of the waiting room.
"How long ago did they take her in?" Cragen asked.
"About 50 minutes."
"An' you ain't bothered to ask someone what's happenin'?" Fin snarled again. His anger was barely held in check. Had he not been so stress himself, Elliot would have felt sorry for Fin. The poor guy couldn't even express why he was so concerned. No one but Elliot knew about he and Liv. No one was supposed to know. And that put Fin in the very difficult position of not having any say on what was happening.
"Fin, go home!" Cragen snapped, whirling on the other man. Elliot's eyebrows shot up, surprised. Cragen had a temper, for sure, but his fuse was pretty long. And he was usually pretty understanding when Elliot and Fin butted heads. Obviously his concern for Olivia was overriding his cool.
"But Cap, I – "
"There's no need for you to be here. When we know something we will call the house. Go home. Get cleaned up. Then get your ass back to the 1-6 and find the asshole that did this."
Knowing that Cragen wasn't going to be persuaded, Fin nodded curtly, gave Elliot a glare and turned to leave. His exit was halted by the appearance of a doctor.
"Benson family?" He inquired, looking at the three men. His eyes lingered on both Fin and Elliot, who were still covered in Liv's blood.
"I'm her Captain. Olivia doesn't have any family." Don said solemnly. All three men looked at the doctor expectantly. He gave a nod.
"Ok. Well I only have a brief update on Miss Benson's condition. She is currently still in surgery. The gunshot wound to her abdomen caused extensive internal damage and haemorrhaging. The wound aspirated into her lungs which resulted in some respiration issues. We have managed to temporarily stabilise those. A secondary gunshot wound was found to her right leg. It severed the calf muscle quite significantly. We have closed the wound to minimise blood loss, however, should Miss Benson survive, she will require significant rehabilitation to repair the muscle."
The world felt like it was closing in. All three men stood in shocked silence. It was a lot to take in. Olivia was fighting for her life and she wasn't out of the woods yet.
"I need to return to surgery but we will keep you updated. At the present time we are doing everything in our power to stabilise Miss Benson, but sadly we were unable to save the baby." The doctor may have continued to speak after that but it wasn't heard. Eventually he turned and returned to the OR.
Elliot looked at his feet, tears burning in his eyes, his fists clenched so hard his nails bit into the palms. So many dark thoughts ran through his head.
Cragen looked grey and drawn.
Beside him Fin swore and turned on his heel, leaving the waiting room without another word.
The doctor's words lingered in the room.
"Sadly, we were unable to save the baby."
Oh no I didn't! Please don't hate me! I'm sorry! So sorry! But you still love me. Don't you? DON'T YOU?