She's My Collar

By: KKM

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gorillaz or any related characters/songs. Gorillaz are © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.

Last Time:

She knew Murdoc would probably be mad when he'd find that it was missing but at the same time she couldn't find it in herself to care. A part of her even thought he might be a little proud of how she'd easily stolen from him like a champ. It was a weird twisted thought, but then so was the man who'd helped raise her.

Once safely back in her room, she took the small bag out of her pocket and safely hid it under a loose floorboard under her bed. She vaguely wondered if she should tell 2D about it, but then shrugged the thought away as she flopped onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. The knowledge would probably just worry him more. No, she'd wait for the perfect time when no one would be bothered and she could escape to sweet serenity.

If only she knew then just how poor of a decision that would become.

Chapter 11: Sex Murder Party

Noodle leaned against the rusty front rails of the Spirit House in boredom as she waited outside to greet their guests. Every now and then she would thrust back a bit and try to balance on the balls of her heels before flopping back toward the bar. The action almost made her look like a teenager who was being forced to stay out on the porch rather than to enjoy the nice warm day. She supposed the imagery wasn't too far off. Though her younger years were far behind her, there were days where she felt energetic and rebellious. She was not the type of adult who cared much for acting her age as she felt that matching those particular stereotypes was a waste of life. She was who she was and that was that.

"Qui' fidgeting, would ya'?" a gruff voice croaked beside her. She sighed as she reluctantly released her grip on the rusty rail to stand silently with her bandmates. Murdoc was beside her smoking a cigarette with his mismatched eyes fixed pointedly on the road to their lonely cul-de-sac. 2D was standing on the opposite side of the green man staring off into the distance blankly as still as a statue. Somewhere behind them Noodle could hear Russel banging things around inside the house preparing it for when one of their features Benjamin Clementine would arrive.

She frowned slightly as her emerald eyes flicked back to over to the singer. She could tell that he'd medicated quite heavily this morning because he'd been in somewhat of a trance all morning. At breakfast he'd been so slow and lethargic, that she'd had to prod him several times to remind him that he was there to eat. She'd given up after he'd finally managed to finish a slice of toast. It wasn't really that abnormal for him to take an extra dosage on a recording day. In fact, some of his best work had been done when he was so stoned that only the flow of music made sense to his fogged over brain. Something about the melody had always resonated with him where others could not.

But Noodle was starting to really worry about him as of late.

Anymore she felt like he was hardly ever sober enough to spend any proper time with her. If she didn't know any better, she would think that he was doing it on purpose to slowly distance himself from her for some reason.

Not that she was behaving any better.

She felt a pang of sadness in her heart as she thought back to all of the fights and pointless arguments they had gotten into recently. Most of the time their fights weren't even over anything substantial. And yet, she found that no matter what they fought about she attacked him with a mean streak that was borderline cruel as if she was punishing him for things he couldn't control. He honestly knew that she loved him with all her heart and that he was her best friend in the whole world. But she couldn't help but feel guilty around him for causing him so to be under so much pressure. Guilt was something she was not accustomed through and in her shame she would find herself expressing it with misdirected anger. 2D was unfortunately an easy target sometimes. Most of the time.

Maybe tomorrow when they were less busy she would ask him if he wanted to get away for a bit. Go to a park maybe and just hang out like old times. That way they could relax and just be themselves for a stolen moment of time.

"Ahhhhh, there they arrrrree," Murdoc interrupted her thoughts with that guttural hum of his as he tossed the remains of his cigarette into the yard carelessly and stood up straighter in an attempt to look presentable. If a man could look presentable in a torn striped shirt and rough looking jeans that had seen better days that was. But somehow he managed with a smirk as they watched a white van barreling down the street toward them. "Dents! Wake teh fuck up," he shouted, smacking 2D upside the back of the head. The taller man jumped with a start before staring back at him with a bewildered look that was promptly ignored. "Tha's betta'. You and Noods'll 'elp 'em unload all tha' shit ter tha' basement," he barked at them carelessly before stepping down from the porch to greet their guest with a greasy grin that would make any salesman proud.

"Benjamin, lad!" he greeted as soon as the man stepped out of the passenger side of the vehicle. Murdoc slung an arm over his shoulders before he could get a word in edgewise and practically dragged him to the house leaving his band mates to their own devices. Noodle could have sword Benjamin was giving their leader a terrified look before the door slammed shut behind them.

'Good luck with that,' Noodle thought to herself with a private giggle before tugging 2D by the sleeve toward the van with a sigh. "C'mon, Toochi. The sooner we get this over with, the better," she told him as they approached the small crew Benjamin had brought with him to unload his things.

It was a common occurrence for feature artists to lug their own equipment to the studio. In fact, it had become the golden rule as far as their leader was concerned. "Teh save money!" Murdoc would exclaim anytime he was questioned about it. "How tha' hell else didja' think we coul' afford a damn floatin' island?" He'd ask them. "Sure as 'ell couldn' if we wen' around all willy-nilly every time a new artist came aroun'!" It was a sound point of course considering that the band never seemed to stick to the conformities of one genre for very long. However, Noodle couldn't help but feel that the real wisdom behind his madness was that Murdoc was a true master at cutting-corners as a cheapskate extraordinaire. Either way, it always seemed to work out.

When Noodle and 2D reached the back of the van, two of Benjamin's men were already unloading the heavy boxes and sound systems from the caboose and a third was standing beside the open rear door with a clipboard in his hand. As if on autopilot, 2D wordlessly began to help. Noodle shook her head in amusement as she noticed he gravitated toward the smaller light weight looking boxes. Instead of helping immediately, she walked up to the man with the clipboard in an effort to stall for time.

"Hi, Muds sent us to help," she supplied boredly, hoping that maybe she could get them out of it somehow.

"That's not really necessary," the man replied absently before looking up at her and smiling suddenly. "Noodle! Long time, no see," he greeted, completely throwing her for a loop with his sudden warm expression. It was common for people to recognize them because they were famous, but this kid's demeanor had shifted as if he knew her on a more personal level.

"Uuuuuuhhh," she paused awkwardly taking in his appearance for clues as she racked her brain for a possible identity. He had vibrant naturally light auburn hair that spiked up at the top and was neatly trimmed on the sides. His bright blue eyes and light dusting of freckles made her think he was a bit younger than her. Definitely no older than twenty if she had to guess. He was taller than her by a full head and and had a slim, but slightly muscular build. Nope. Nothing seemed to ring a bell. She shook her head and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, do we know each other from somewhere?"

"No worries," he said good-naturedly. "I'm not surprised you don't recognize me. It's been a while." Then to her utter confusion, he cleared his throat and started singing softly as if he didn't want the others to hear.

"Need a guuuuun to keep m'self from haaaa'm,

Tha' poor peeep'uuul are burnin' in tha' suuuuun.

Ain't got a chaaaaance,

Ain't gotta' chaaaaance.

I need a guuuuuun,

Cuz all I do is dance.

Cuz all I do is – daaaaaance."

Noodle blinked up at him stupidly for a moment before grinning ear to ear in realization. "Jordi? Little Jordi!?" She exclaimed, punching his shoulder a little harder than necessary for putting her on. "Last time I saw you, you had a finger up your nose!"

One of his teammates nearly dropped one of the heavy boxes he was lugging as he laughed out loud from her outburst. The redhead shot a quick glare at him as his cheeks turned slightly red. "You and everyone else," he muttered under his breath darkly before returning his attention back to her. "I go by Jordan now. How have you been?" he asked. Then Noodle could have imagined it, but she swore he quickly raked his eyes over her before smiling back at her in something almost akin to approval.

'Did he really just check me out in front of everyone?' she thought to herself incredulously, arching her brow. It wasn't as if she was wearing anything special. Just a black tank with the bloody Watchmen smiley on the front, a pair of jean bermudas, and some scuffed up red sneakers. She quickly glanced around to see that 2D wasn't terribly far away. He was currently holding the door open for the other two crewmen who were carrying a heavy looking speaker system through the doorway. He didn't seem to be paying them any attention and appeared to be just as bored as she was with the whole affair. 'Well… maybe I imagined it. That would be pretty ballsy to do in front of any of the guys. I was probably seeing things. Plus, this kid seems pretty harmless,' she surmised. But still, she didn't really want to promote anything remotely like that. It made her very uncomfortable.

"Oh, you know. Doing this and that," she answered evasively, narrowing her eyes slightly before changing the subject altogether. "So, you all sticking around for the recording? I bet the boys would be pretty excited to say hi if you told them who you were."

"Well, honestly I don't like telling people about it. I mean it's a cool song and all, don't get me wrong. But I'd rather not have people staring at me while they imagine me picking my nose, if you know what I mean?" he joked, scratching the back of his head. She got the idea that it was somewhat of a sore topic with him and shrugged. "But yeah, it'd be fun to watch."

"Alright cool," she smiled, turning back towards the house. "Looks like they're done so let's go in."

The recording studio was located in the basement of their house. It was rather makeshift as far as state of the art studios go, but for the Gorillaz it was perfect. They could use all of the unconventional methods they desired to manipulate the various sounds and notes just as they pleased. First, on one side of the room they recorded all of the sounds and background vocals. Then once that was all finished, they moved to the other side of the room where Benjamin stood in front of a large screen with a bright light shining down on him as he sang. 2D stayed to the side with a special microphone for his parts and Noodle and Russel carefully maneuvered the shadow puppets they'd crafted in the background while Murdoc and the others watched. Murdoc was extremely into it as he mouthed the lyrics and nodded or shook his head as they came to certain parts.

They stopped a few times for short breaks or if the imagery didn't quite match up the way they wanted, but otherwise everything seemed to work out well. They were all super exhausted by the time they felt they'd finally gotten it to work and sound perfectly.

"That's a wrap, people!" Russel's voice boomed in a pleased manner as he stretched a bit causing his shoulder joints to pop.

"S'not all ova' yet, Lards," Murdoc retorted with a snort as he turned off the small camcorder that had been rolling the whole time. "We still gotta' talk business. Come along then. You too, Stu. Gotta make sure we cova' everything." With that, he led the way to his office. Noodle made a face and stayed behind. They'd probably be there for hours and Noodle had no interest in the contractual aspects of their music. Her heart went out for 2D as he glumly followed them into the room. There was no way Murdoc would let him skip out on this part. He knew how much the singer hated it of course, but business was business.

"Hey," she heard behind her and turned around to see Jordan standing behind her. It appeared that he had no interest in helping his comrades pack up, not that she blamed him.

"Don't you have a job to do?" she teased, only half joking.

"Nah, I'm their boss. Plus they won't miss me for a few minutes," he explained with a shrug. "I've got time. Got anything fun to do while we wait?"

Noodle observed him closely for a moment as if sizing him up, but he still appeared calm and open. She decided that he was just overly friendly. "Wellllllll," she paused, thinking a moment. This kid truly did appear harmless, maybe it wouldn't be too bad to loosen up a bit like she used to in the old days. The boys would be tied up for a while and it wasn't like she had anything better to do. "I might have something fun we can do. Ever been skating?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she gauged his reaction.

He gave her a surprised look for a moment, before smirking back at her. "A time or two," he answered smoothly.

"Hm, well by all means lets have fun then," she said, leading him over to a door that lead to what they used as a dressing room. "They'll be forever in there anyway," she shrugged, deciding to just relax. The room as pretty spacious. On one side was a long wall length mirror with a countertop beneath it and some chairs. The rest of the room was strewn with various clothes and props that were either laying on the floor or hanging hap hazardously from the fixtures. They sat down in front of the mirror and stared at each other's reflections for a moment before Noodle began to dig around in her pockets, suddenly feeling awkward again.

"I, uh, had planned on doing this later tonight anyway. I just thought I'd be alone," she explained, feeling a little finicky as she removed the small baggie she'd stolen from her pocket and laid it on the counter top. Her hand was shaking a little as she poured a small bit out and used a nearby piece of paper to try and edge it into a line.

Jordan eyed her in amusement before finally taking pity on her and placing his hand over hers to stop her. "Noodle, calm down. I'm not going to bite you," he promised, before removing a keyring from his belt loop. "Check it out," he smiled, showing her a small razor blade he kept on it. He gently tugged the blade out and then took over forming the white powdery lines.

"Sorry," she muttered. She wasn't sure why she was acting so weird all of the sudden. She was aware that she wasn't really breaking any house hold rules per say. As for being in a closed room with another man… Well, it's not like they were doing anything super bad or anything. Just having a little fun. "I have a boyfriend," she found herself saying suddenly. She watched as his eyes rose up momentarily to meet hers before he went back to what he was doing, removing a paper bill from his wallet.

"I figured," he answered simply. "It doesn't bother me any," he said before offering it to her for the first hit. She gently took it from his hands as she gave him a searching gaze looking for any hints of dishonesty. Not seeing any, she ducked down to take the first hit inhaling deeply before raising up and rubbing her nose vigorously. It always burned her nasal cavity going up; she'd never really been a fan of that part.

But then it suddenly hit. It was as if a rush of euphoria suddenly slammed into her frontal lobe and she gasped at the impact. Her face was already beginning to tingle with a strange sense of numbness that strangely contrasted with the burst of jittery energy she was feeling. Her vision was strange now, almost magnified in a weird way and doubled around the edges. Leaning down for another hit she could feel her nose twitching involuntarily.

"Haha! You look like a bunny!" Jordan laughed as he too took a hit. She hadn't even realized he'd taken the bill from her, not that she could really be bothered to care at the moment. Why were they sitting anyway? They should be doing things. Yes, doing things was all that mattered. Move, move, move, move, MOVE! "Man, you're really fucked up," she heard him laugh.

Her eyes were slightly bugged out as she looked back at him, her nose still twitching cutely as she rubbed it again. "S-sorry, heheh," she giggled. "I just can't c-control it. I almost f-forgot what this f-feels like," she stuttered a bit, feeling the electric charge that was coursing through her body. She suddenly wanted to touch things now. Everything. Oooo, was there anything soft in here? What she wouldn't give to stroke a furry wall right now. Her eyes suddenly brightened as she glanced over to see the edge of a familiar purple cape. "Oooooo, come feel this!" she demanded, pulling him by the hand over to the dressing rack clumsily before tugging the cape off of it. Several other articles of clothing fell down, but she didn't seem to care. "F-feeeel it, it's some kinda' f-felt!" she gushed, allowing him to feel it for a moment before swinging it over her shoulders. "M-Murdoc would kill me iffff he saw this. I am queen of the room!" she shouted, trying to stand tall, but wavering a bit in her stance.

"Ah yes, and I am your lowly disciple!" Jordan shouted back, playing along as he bowed deeply. "And what does my queen order?"

"I order you to- oooo mmmmph!" she tripped over the end of the cape and fell forward only to be saved when Jordan caught her in his arms. She looked up at him with a blush and smiled. "Thanks," she said, innocently kissing his cheek.

That was all it took for her world to come crashing down.

2D had finally escaped the long boring meeting. He really didn't care much for finances, they were confusing and made his head hurt from trying to think it out too hard. They'd stayed in that little room for so long that he was starting to feel sober again. Which while that wasn't all bad, it sucked because that meant his headaches were starting to shine through the wreckage.

The guys had invited him to go out to the bar for a drink, but he'd declined. He wanted to try and spend some time with his little love instead and he knew she'd be pleasantly surprised by it. But where had she gone? He looked around the now empty studio, scratching his head as he thought about where he should look first. She usually waited here for them to finish and then would go on her merry way after she was sure they were through for the night.

He heard a loud shout from the dressing room followed by giggling. Smiling, he approached with a bit of a bounce in his step wondering what was causing her to sound like she was having so much fun. But then when a second much deeper voice joined her laughter, he stopped dead in his tracks. Their voices were muffled by the door, so he couldn't make out what was said. But someone was definitely in the room with her. A male someone.

No, not his little love. Surely his Noodle wouldn't….

His heart lurched in his chest as he suddenly felt very cold and clammy. His eyes widened slightly as he started to hyperventilate. What could possibly be behind this now imposing door? Why did he suddenly feel so timid and reluctant to look inside?

He barely remembered reaching for the door as he gently pushed it open to reveal the pair. His breath caught in his throat as he saw his dearest love in the arms of another man and his heart shattered where he stood as he watched in almost slow motion as she leaned up and kissed the other man's jaw. He couldn't stop the loud gasp that escaped him as he felt all of the hair leave his chest. Never had he felt so hurt and empty.

Noodle must have heard him because she'd now turned her head and met his eyes with a look of dawning horror. But he wasn't seeing her, not really. It was as if his mind suddenly couldn't cope. Instead of Noodle and the red-headed man, their faces suddenly flickered and he swore it was now Murdoc with his arms wrapped around Paula. "H-how coul' you do this teh me?" he found himself wheezing as he slowly backed away from the strangely morphed scene in front of him.

The now odd-looking Noodle/Paula slipped from the man's arms and ran up to him babbling as she tried to explain. He could hear the other man trying to say something behind her but his ears where filled with a horrible loud noise that was paired with a now pulsing migraine. He threw his hands up in front of himself as if to block himself from the blow, trying to protect the remains of his torn heart.

"I-I trusted you," he was muttering. No. That wasn't right. He was sobbing. He could feel his body shaking as he tried to control it to no avail. His whole face felt runny and wet. But then so was hers. So many tears. Her whole face was full of regret as she screeched in some sorrowful foreign language that didn't quite compute. "G-get away from me!" he yelled back, shoving her away weakly.

"B-but, Toochi!" she sobbed, looking back at him as if he'd slapped her. Her nose was still twitching a little and she was trying hard not to let it, but she was beside herself, if he'd only listen! "You don't u-understand! N-nothing h-happened. I fell!"

His blackened eyes narrowed through his pain at these words. So familiar but from another time.

"I tripped!"

Hadn't that been what Paula had said all those years ago? But she hadn't tripped had she? No. No, this was all wrong. He couldn't do this again. He wouldn't!

He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her away again. "I w-want 'im to leave, Noodle," he demanded, his sadness now turning into downright rage as he spoke slowly. "Get 'im tha' fuck outta' here and leave me alone! I'll stay 'till this damn album is done fer tha' band. But afta' this, I'm gone." He said in a gravelly voice as he tried to force himself to stay strong. Her mouth was wide open and she looked completely devastated as she dropped down to her knees and tried to weakly grab at his legs. He stepped further away from her with a look of absolute disgust and hurt. "I mean it. I'm no' going froo 'is again. No' afta' what Paula did."

"B-but Too-"

"Don't call me tha'!" he practically spat and she flinched. She bit her lip, trembling like a leaf as she looked up at him, pleading with him mentally to understand.

But he didn't.

"I mean'it. Get'm the fuck ou' of here and ge' out've my sight," he said in a firmer voice, as he reigned in his emotions. He turned to walk away and paused and spoke in a voice so quite she could just barely make out his words. "You should've tol' me if you was unhappy. I'd 'ave given you anyfing in teh world."

Then he was gone.

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. That took forever to write. Hope I didn't horrify you too badly. I promise I'll fix it! But it'll be a bumpy journey ahead for sure. Hopefully no one looks at my recent browser history or I might have some interesting questions to answer. But I wanted the effects of the drug to be realistic.

A shout-out to my cousins who are traveling to Texas tomorrow. Be safe! Lots of love!

Once again thanks for all of the great support! Just today while I was writing this I got another nice and long review. Thank you for your honesty, it really helps.