She's My Collar

By: KKM

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gorillaz or any related characters/songs. Gorillaz are © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.

Last Time:

"B-but Too-"

"Don't call me tha'!" he practically spat and she flinched. She bit her lip, trembling like a leaf as she looked up at him, pleading with him mentally to understand.

But he didn't.

"I mean'it. Get'm the fuck ou' of here and ge' out've my sight," he said in a firmer voice, as he reigned in his emotions. He turned to walk away and paused. "You should've tol' me if you was unhappy. I'd 'ave given you teh world."

Then he was gone.

Chapter 12: Carnival

Noodle's small hand was still trembling under his larger one when he'd finished recounting that horrible night. She was leaning forward so that her purple bangs were obscuring her eyes from their vision and her lips were pinched in a thin line as if she was squeezing them as tightly as she could to prevent any hints of movement. If it wasn't for the slight flutter of her bangs near her nose, he might have thought she'd stopped breathing. She'd been this way ever since he'd taken over telling them what had happened after being released from the business meeting between himself, Murdoc, Russel, and Benjamin.

Across from them at the table, Russel and Murdoc were almost just as still as their guitarist. Russel looked lost again as he looked carefully between the singer and his surrogate daughter. It was clear that whatever they had planned to tell him about their break-up, something like this had been the furthest scenario from his mind. One thing was clear – he no longer looked disgusted about their current relationship. If anything, he appeared to be more befuddled by it.

Russel thought carefully about what Noodle had told him the night before about how she couldn't forgive herself and how he'd be disappointed in her. Well, she'd been partially right. He was indeed disappointed in her. How could she have been so reckless with all of this? Why hadn't she came to him for advice? He'd like to have thought he would have listened. But even he had to admit that there were things about Noodle he'd never be able to understand. In some ways she took after their leader more than any of them with her mischievousness and quickness to anger. He couldn't really fault her for it, but it made things hard sometimes. As far as forgiveness went, Russel could see the strong look of concern and devotion on his friend's face from across the table. Even if Noodle hadn't forgiven herself, for whatever reason the singer clearly had and maybe that was enough.

Beside him, Murdoc appeared to also be suffering some form of conflict. His red-rimmed eyes kept moving back and forth between the messy table top and the distraught axe princess. His jaw was clenching and unclenching as if he was fighting the need to say something, though curiously his face didn't appear as angry as one might've been once it was discovered he'd been stolen from. He flexed one of his hands momentarily, accidentally causing one of his nails to make a screeching sound that broke the unnatural silence of the room. He cringed a moment before deciding on crossing his arms in an effort to stay still instead. Russel gave him a questioning look, but Murdoc shook his head giving him a silent message to wait.

"Noodle?" 2D asked softly, having not seen the exchange from the two older men. He gently touched her stiff shoulder causing the smallest of flinches, but otherwise no response/ "Love, speak teh me…"

Nothing.

2D looked toward the others helplessly, fearing that she was about to have a panic attack of some sort. Russel made a move to speak, but was stopped when Murdoc placed a hand on his chest to stop him. He stood with a resigned look on his face. If the girl was too withdrawn to speak, he'd have to draw it out of her. If there was one thing that Murdoc Niccals excelled at, it was pissing people off. In this moment, he knew that no amount of coddling was going to help the girl. No, she was too much like him to fall for that. She needed to get angry.

"SoooOOOoooOOOooo," he trilled unpleasantly in a low voice. "No' only didja' think it'd be okay teh steal from ol' Mudsy, bu' now it's okay teh borrow my shi' when you want a good romp?" He said every syllable slow and mordant. 2D and Russel's jaws dropped in disbelief. Both of them momentarily too stunned by such a crass insinuation to react.

"Now, wait jus' a minute, Mu-" 2D protested, only to be cut off by the green man's harsh dismissal.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DENTS!" he shouted, banging his fist against the table with spit flying from his mouth from the ferocity. "I wosn't talkin' teh you," he snorted, watching as 2D gulped and looked up at him with a deer-in-headlights look. "Dis is my band an' I'll do what I fuckin' want. An' what I want is ta' hear from miss pity-party over here! Wot are yeh even worried abou'? You go' what yeh wanted in the end, didn' ya'?"

Noodle's shoulders began to quiver under 2D's hand as she waited for the outburst. After this her humiliation was sure to be complete. Russel's silence was only confirming to her that her fears of his disappointment and now with Murdoc about to scream her head off for stealing his smack paired with how horribly she'd treated 2D, she was sure that they'd want to kick her out for sure. She squeezed her eyes closed and waited for the explosion.

"Now…WOT THA' FUCK MAKES YEH THINK I'D LET ANY OF YA WEAR ME CAPE!?"

Wait. What?

Her head snapped up and her puffy eyes stared at him in disbelief. There Murdoc was leaning over the table breathing hard and looking like a rabid wolf foaming at the mouth and all he was concerned about was that damn cape? Was he fucking shitting her right now?

"Excuse me!?" she growled, suddenly; her blood was boiling over the older man's stupidity. She stood up and smacked away 2D's coddling absently as she leaned over the table just as angry. He didn't care that she'd gotten right up in his face. If he was going to be a dick to her, she was going to give it back just as bad. "That's what you're fucking pissed about?" she yelled, the color returning to her cheeks the more she thought of the absurdity of it all.

"I'll 'ave you know, it's one ova kind! Fans woul' pay millions jus' to touch the damn thing an' 'ere you are trolliping aroun' in it like some sorta' kink?" he raged, shaking his fist at her. "It's a collectable!"

"A collectable!?" she screamed back in frustration, throwing her hands in the air. "That's not even the original cape! You lost the real one with your drunken baffooning around Plastic Beach! What would you even need that one for? You already have that ridiculous cheetah one you've been yammering about incessantly!"

"Well the fans don't know tha'!" he retorted, kicking his chair out of the way. "Look't how much they paid fer the damn Geep that one o' you lot sold from unda' me. Was tha' you too?" he accused, pointing one of his talons at her threateningly.

"What are- Are you crazy!?" she fumed, stamping her foot before turning swiftly from the kitchen. "I don't need this shit, right now!"

"Nietha' do I! Excuse me while I try'n find a lockbox fer all tha' shit I apparently have ta' hide around 'ere!" He walked over to the door and opened it, but curiously didn't actually leave as he made a show of slamming it as hard as he could before leaning against it with his arms crossed. A pleased smirk tugged at his lips as they heard her scream from somewhere on the stairwell followed by the sound of presumably her bedroom door slamming from above. "Ah, tha's betta'." He chuckled.

"I-Eh, wot?" 2D scratched his head in confusion at the other man. "Shoul' I go check on 'er?"

"Nah, I'd leave it," the bassist shrugged. "She'll be alrigh'. Chances are tha' prolly tuckered her out. She'll prolly take a nice nap soon."

"You old dawg. That was a dirty trick even for you," Russel laughed quietly, shaking his head. It was the first time he'd spoken since 2D had paused in his story. "You did that shit on purpose," he said knowingly.

"Yeah, wot of it?" Murdoc rolled his eyes as he rejoined them at the table and leaned back resting his Cuban heels on the table top with an air of arrogance. "Now we won't 'ave to deal with 'er PMSing about getting' too emotional in front of us, will we? Plus, she was about teh crack anyways. It wouldn't 'ave been pretty." He shrugged. "She needed an out. So I gave it ter 'er."

"You're getting soft, Muds," Russel teased half-heartedly before resting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand with a sigh. Murdoc ignored the comment completely.

"Will tha' really work?" 2D wondered out loud, still staring at the ceiling in a mixture of bewilderment and worry.

"Trus' me, Imma Docta'." Murdoc deadpanned.

Apparently that seemed to relieve the blue haired man from his worries as he nodded to himself absent-mindedly and sat down again. The three stayed silent a while, thinking of everything that had been revealed in such a short period of time. They were knocked out of their stupors when Russel made a strange sound. His eyes seemed to be glowing in understanding as he gazed back over at the singer.

"You lied to me," he said in a surprised voice. "I remember the day after the recording. You'd just told me you broke up with your girlfriend," he paused, thinking. "Noodle'd been acting weird that day too and you told me she'd just found out a friend died. I spent that whole day trying to get her to calm down and talk to me about it."

2D gave him a guilty look and cleared his throat. "Well, she really needed someone teh be there fo' her. Plus, to us it really was like somefin' died. It was the day afta' the death o' our friendship."

"Ugh. If we're gonna' keep up with this depressing shit, Imma need a drink," the Satanist interrupted, standing once more. "You lot in?"

"I'm in," Russ nodded, "D?"

"Sure," 2D agreed, very much wanting to abandon this uncomfortable situation. With that, they quietly left leaving Noodle in peace.

2D was staring at his toast like it might bite him. The thought of food made him feel physically sick. He hadn't slept at all last night no matter how hard he'd tried to force himself. Even the threat of overdose hadn't quelled him, much to his disappointment. Every time he closed his eyes all her could see was Noodle kissing that guy on the cheek. Only, in his sleep-depraved mind the image progressively was getting worse. Sometimes he'd imagine that he lips had been curved up in a knowing smile. Other times in his imagination she'd be looking dead at him, torturing him on purpose until his heart felt like it had been carved from his chest and fed to the worms.

He shuddered and swallowed back the feeling of bile that was threatening to creep up his throat. "Ugh," he groaned, pushing the plate away from him dispassionately as he rested his head onto the table top and curled his arms over his head in a lame attempt to make it stop. This never worked of course. He felt like crying, but his bruised eyes seemed to be too tired to get even that right. So instead he was left to his own devices.

What did that guy have that he didn't anyways? Oh right, a brain. Plus he looked to be around Noodle's age too, hadn't he? In fact, now that he thought of it, he was probably the complete opposite of that guy in every way. Even their hair contrasted. But why did she have to do it? He'd known this was all a bad idea from the start and now he was paying dearly for it.

"You okay, D?" Russel's warm voice cut through his depressing thoughts. 2D chanced glancing up at his friend to see the concern reflecting in his milky gaze. 2D shook his head in response, finding no reason to be dishonest about it. "Wanna' talk about it?"

"No' really," he whispered glumly. Russel looked like he was about to say more when Noodle entered the room. She stopped dead in her tracks, a stricken look on her face as she looked between the distraught singer and the puzzled drummer.

"G-Gomen nasai," she apologized in a small voice. "Just wanted some t-tea." She turned away from them before her voice cracked and reached up into one of the cabinets to find a cup.

Russel gave her a curious look, but then returned his attention to 2D and patted him on the shoulder. "Well, if you're sure man."

"S'okay, thanks," 2D replied, looking back at the table again. His stomach felt tight and horrible again. Being in the same room with her was so suffocating he was almost worried he wouldn't be able to breathe. "M'gurlfriend broke up wif me las' night," he suddenly found himself saying. Noodle, who had been pouring some hot water from a kettle paused mid pour and gasped. She didn't turn around, but he could see that her shoulders were trembling.

"What? That's horrible!" Russel frowned, sitting down heavily in his seat. "You seemed so happy. What happened?

"She…" he trailed off, watching as Noodle glanced back at him with glassy eyes. He hardened his resolve and turned his attention back to Russ, who hadn't noticed the exchange as Noodle was behind him. "S-she cheated on meh…"

There was a crashing sound as Noodle dropped her cup causing it to break and for the hot liquid to splash all over the floor.

"Noodle, are you-" Russel began, hurrying to stand. But to his surprise she looked up at them with tears falling from her eyes. She shook her head and ran from the room before he could ask more. "What the hell was that about?" the bigger man asked, rightfully startled as he heard a door slam upstairs.

2D frowned, feeling bad for some reason. Yes, he was still traumatized by everything that had happened and he was deeply hurt by the whole thing. But something about how small and vulnerable Noodle had looked… even last night he could tell she'd been devastated. The whole thing was so confusing and raw. Too fresh to fully understand. She didn't deserve his pity and understanding and yet his heart couldn't ignore his need to protect her. "Her friend... She found out a friend passed away las' night. Tol' me about it when I came back," he lied, unable to look Russel in the eye as spoke. "I'm in no condition teh help her wif how I am ri' now. Bu' you can…"

Russel took a deep breath and nodded. "Thanks man, I'm sure she'll understand," he said, giving the singer one last pat of sympathy before going off to check on Noodle.

Once at her door, Russ cautiously knocked twice. "Noodle? Can I come in?" he asked in his smooth baritone. He listened a moment, but she didn't respond. He could hear the faint sounds of her crying on the other side. He gently opened the door and stepped in. "Oh, baby-gurl," he frowned when he saw her. She was on top of her bed with her arms clutched around a stuffed panda as she tried to hide her sobs. "It's okay, I'm here." He said approaching her. He nudged her over so he could sit next to her on the bed. She released the stuffed animal and immediately sobbed against his chest. "Shhhhh, it's alright Noodle. These things happen."

"W-what do y-you m-mean?" she gulped between sobs as she huddled against him. His presence was already helping her. She wished she could tell him everything like she used to when she was younger and he'd make it all better, but knew he'd never understand.

"It's okay, 2D told me everything," he soothed. He felt her tense against him, but then she relaxed when he continued. "I'm sorry your friend died. I remember when Del… Well, it's alright to cry it out. I'm here," he promised again, holding her close.

This only made her cry harder, though Russ never realized why. Even after everything she'd done to him, 2D was still protecting her from harm. Through his anger he'd still made sure that she was taken care of and felt loved. What had she given him in return? Only heartache. She was both thankful and completely distraught by this revelation. She loved him so much still but had no idea how she would ever fix this. What if he really did leave the band? Then everything really would be her fault. She felt like her world was crumbling around her.

"I-I loved him," she croaked against Russel's chest. "I-I love h-him and n-now he's g-gone."

This revelation made Russel's heart go out to her even more. "We'll get through this, Noodle-gurl," he whispered, kissing the top of her head as if she was a little girl again. "We'll help you."

But as she hugged him tighter, she wasn't so sure he could.

A/N: Blarg, another emotional chapter. Have you guys listened to Sleeping Powder yet? That song has been stuck in my head for like a straight up week. And here I thought I was addicted to Charger. Lol.

If you're wanting to know about the new cape that Noodle was talking about, go on the Gorillaz Instagram page. There's a picture of Murdoc in a white cape with cheetah print on the inside of it. It looks pretty cool in my opinion.

Also, if you've watched the Murdoc/2D live interview that was released a few days before the CD, you'd know it was 2D who'd pulled a fast one on Murdoc and sold the Geep on Ebay. Sneaky little devil!