If I Forget the Moon by Night

Two months later

Alright, guys. I'm not going to lie. I literally cried while writing this chapter. Here, you are going to learn some things about Itachi most characters don't know. Here you're going to learn about another character that you probably felt indifferent toward in the beginning of this story.

Sasuke deadpanned, watching Naruto type furiously on his computer. He'd thought while Itachi was going through his daily lessons with Obito and Kakashi downstairs, he could get some free time with his boyfriend.

And yet, he also forgot that Naruto was in the process of writing a book about humans.

He watched the blond's lips pierce and grimace as he ceased typing, hitting a dead end. "Sasuke, baby, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data."

Sasuke laid upon the bed with a roll of his eyes toward the genius. "I'm sorry. Give me a second to redefine my girlish notions of romance."

Naruto nearly typed as his hands roamed the keys and then halted as a small smile decorated his face and he turned to Sasuke's own smile of victory.

The Uchiha shrugged. "What?"

Naruto motioned him over, moving back in his chair as Sasuke rested upon his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Are you jealous of my computer? Because I can guarantee it doesn't make me feel the way you do. With proper reasoning, I can, love."

Sasuke laughed and kissed the blond as he was pulled closer. "No. I'm not jealous. I just wish you'd pay attention to me." He giggled loudly as Naruto rested his nose in the crook of his neck. "I'm serious."

"Sasuke, I am paying attention to you. In this part of my book, I am breaking down human emotions and you are the first candidate."

"I mean physically, Naruto." Sometimes, it was clear that Naruto was only a genius in science and psychology.

"Sasuke I can admit that more then four rounds of sexual intercourse will not hurt me as much as it will you. Often soon, you will get lazy and your back pain will be tremendous. Not to mention that you have to tighten back-"

"Shut up." Sasuke hissed at Naruto's chuckle, burying his face in the tan chest. "Do you always say everything that's on your mind?"

"Impeccably so." Naruto stated, smirking. "Anyway. If you want to go for a walk with me, You have to get off my lap."

Sasuke stood with a small smile as he stood and handed Naruto his jacket.

"Thank you, love. Come on."

Reaching the bottom of the steps, Naruto messed up Itachi's hair, making the man groan softly and swipe at him. "We'll be back soon. We're taking a walk."

"Be careful." Obito called.

"Stay safe and bring me back ice cream, please." Itachi asked.

Kakashi looked up with a smirk. "Don't do anything I would do."

Naruto laughed as he gently placed his arm around Sasuke's waist after closing the door. "Tousan is so silly." he looked to Sasuke, who had already been staring at him. "Are you happy now, Sasuke? That's my purpose for today. To make you happy."

Sasuke laughed as Naruto pretended to eat his jaw. "Yes. Yes, I'm happy."

"Come on then."

Their thirty minute walk was simple and content as Sasuke and Naruto talked and laughed with one another.

They were then on their way back home when Naruto got a call. They both stared as Tsunade popped up on screen.

Before Naruto answered, Sasuke raised a brow. "Why's Tachi's doctor calling you?"

"She's the local psychiatrist." Naruto muttered as if it were simple. "She helps people who've dealt with trauma in their lives."

"That doesn't explain why she calls you." Sasuke stated with a small smirk.

"Since I have a higher degree in psychology, she oftens calls me for advice on her patients." Naruto stared at Sasuke's curious face. "No, babe. We don't discuss cases over the phone. She usually lets me know that she has sent me a file to overview."

The phone stopped ringing and Sasuke bit his lip. "You missed your call."

Naruto bit his tongue and called Tsunade back, waiting for her to pick up.

"Put her on speaker."

Naruto rolled his eyes playfully as Sasuke bumped shoulders with him. "Hello? Naruto?"

"Yes, Tsunade-san. I acknowledge my offense. I was in a heated discussion with my boyfriend, Sasuke."

Naruto silently laughed as Sasuke blushed red.

"That's alright, Naruto." The old woman stated softly.

"Did you need me for anything?"

"Yes. The favor is fairly large and it involves the transferring of a patient from me to you."

Sasuke's mouth formed an 'O' along with Naruto's. "I've never taken care of a patient before, Tsunade-san, only with child soldiers. I've only ever given you advice."

"Yes. But this is more severe than a child soldier case. This is the most severe case I've ever written. It hurts my heart and as I read these experiences, I myself am having a hard time reading. The pictures are horrifying, the stories are traumatizing. I am not allowed nor experience enough to deal with a patient like this, Naruto."

Naruto looked to Sasuke and after the raven nodded, he breathed in and out deeply. "I will take a look at it, Tsunade-san. What am I supposed to do, however, when I do see how severe the case is?"

"Take away the trauma, Naruto. Help him cope with life. If we don't help him, I'm afraid he'll kill himself."

Naruto's mouth formed a straight line. "Thank you, Tsunade-san. Oh, What's his name? The patient, I mean?"

There was a constant shuffling of papers before Tsunade muttered something inaudible. "His name is Deidara. I'll see you soon, Naruto."

The line went dead and Sasuke remained still, emotions running through him like electricity. Surprise, doubt, and dare he admit it, guilt.

Naruto grabbed him gently, leading him back home. "Come on."

"Aren't you going to the hospital?" Sasuke questioned, wanting to know so much.

"Yes. After you're home safely. I also need my car too."

Naruto walked into Tsunade's room with a soft frown. He saw it on most days. Of course, Deidara was snarky when people talked to him and he often held a charmful personality. But Naruto was the first person to actually notice it.

The way Deidara would trudge to his home slowly, almost without ease. The way he wanted people to notice just him. The way he would never look into people's eyes too long. His surprise by Naruto's simple acts of kindness.

It had to be sign of a constant sadness, Naruto once believed. And as Tsunade handed him the file folder and told him Deidara was in the next room, Naruto knew he had once again made a correct assumption.

He had to sit once he opened it. He had to compose himself because he was the doctor here. He wasn't supposed to cry or become frightened. But the pictures, the stories. He wondered how Deidara was able to hide all of this with charming words.

He'd first came to contact with a photo of Deidara, laying upon the floor. He had to be seven, under the age of ten at most.

His hands had been tied behind his back and his eyes had been closed. Not willingly, however. They were closed by swelling, red and puffy. His face wasn't a tan, but marked by purple smudges and blistering sores.

He was naked as well, laying in his own filth by a plate of moldy bread. The scars and marks upon his body made Naruto gag slightly, so he moved on to the next picture, instantly regretting it.

"For fuck's sake." He hissed, slamming the folder close. The picture was more disgusting then the last. Deidara was of course still unconscious and tied down. Only this time a man kneeled over him, pushing his penis within the boy's swollen mouth.

Tsunade shook her head. "You have to read the whole thing, Naruto. It's the only way to understand him."

Naruto inhaled. "Who does this? Who does this to anyone? A child no less?"

Tsunade simply shook her head and Naruto reopened the file, going through picture after picture of him being sexually and physically abused from the age of innocence to his teen years. Pictures of gunshot wounds to his mother's face when he was just five. Gunshot wounds to his own legs.

The story was no less brutal. Deidara had never really known happiness if it wasn't when his mother was alive. Of course, he cherished her. Even if she was abused by her husband. What hurt Naruto were the pictures. Supposedly, Deidara's father had found out the woman was having an affair.

So one evening, as she slept on the couch after a long day, Deidara watched five bullets hit his mother's face at close range. His father had shot him when the five year old tried running, but he only got Deidara's leg twice.

Deidara was conscious enough to hear someone barge in to his home. Conscious enough to see his father shoot himself in the head.

The war had been over, so instead of being a soldier, Deidara lived in a orphanage for two years. Naruto admitted that Deidara was extremely beautiful as an adult.

And as a child, he'd been pretty enough to unfortunately gain the attention of the orphanage's headmaster.

So he remained a treat for the large religious man, sexually abused for two years until finally, the seven year old thought he could be free from so much pain.

Free because two men, who had lost their own daughter to the war, came in to adopt him. And what Deidara believed, save him from the trauma.

But those two men were the same men who created the first two pictures in this folder. They treated Deidara like a slave. Tying him down, fucking him like the pigs they were until finally, Deidara ran.

At the age of fifteen, ran alone with two plates in his legs from the bullets of the past. Ran more than 100 miles from Iwagakure to Konohagakure, only stopping to sleep in bushes and eat berries that could have killed him. It didn't matter to the teen anyhow.

He didn't know he arrived in Konoha until finally, a young boy around his age had asked him where he was going. Deidara had been flinched awake by the touch and it must have been his own mother within the other boy's soul.

Because Deidara had befriended Itachi Uchiha instantly. He told Itachi about his life willingly. He told Itachi that he took one journey and paid the ticket all by himself, but it cost too much.

And Itachi swore to keep it a secret and he promised that as long as he lived, he'd never leave Deidara. He'd never let him go and if his adoptive fathers ever tried coming after the blond, he'd kill them.

But as far as Naruto knew, Itachi and Deidara weren't friends anymore. And he wondered as he wiped his tears, what had happened.

Naruto walked into the room slowly, cautiously. He wondered if the still Deidara even noticed. He wondered what was going on in his head.

On a plastic hallway chair sat a child, legs kicking in the air, clearing the floor by several inches as they swung back and forth. The doctor was mesmerized by the red rubber boots on his feet and blue duffle coat, somehow the kid reminded him of a pretty bear. His face had unhealthy look to it and his eyes were hard open as he stared at nothing on the wall.

The doctor stopped. The boy's legs weren't swinging in the care-free way he'd first assumed. Each one was more like a kick, sharp and pointed. He crouched down in front of him, letting the boy see his white coat and stethoscope and brushed his blonde bangs from his small face.

"Hey there, I'm Doctor Reiko. Your father's sent me to you. What's your name?" The boy became still and was quiet for a moment, sitting further back into the chair.

"Deidara" came out almost like an accident, spilling out of his drawn inward lips. His blue eyes lost their harshness, becoming rounder, more glossy. Then all at once his face buckled, his breathing stopped momentarily and tears streamed.

The doctor smiled softly. "Shh." He stood and removed his coat, unhooking his belt. Pulling down his pants and undergarments, the man moved closer to Deidara, opened his mouth.

Deidara shook his head. "I should have known the therapist they took me to would be corrupt. But I was a child. I always thought things would get better. Never been to a hospital since."

Naruto grit his teeth. "Well, I'm not here for that." He muttered.

At the sound of his voice, Deidara looked up and then looked back down in shame, his face rosy. "Get out." He hissed.

"I want the lady."

"I'm sorry, Deidara-san." Naruto spoke softly, knowing full and well that the only reason Deidara was acting this way was to build his walls up. For the life of him, they wouldn't come crashing down. "She isn't authorized."

"And I suppose you are? You're going to laugh. You're going to tell Sasuke and Itachi."

Naruto shook his head. "I cannot. What happens in these rooms stays here." He cursed himself at the way Deidara tensed, knowing the man would be beyond hope if he didn't save him. "I'm here to help you."

He sat cautiously and for thirty minutes, he stared at Deidara as the latter stared at the wall.

Eventually, he pulled out a paper and pen. "I'm here to listen if you want to talk."

Deidara remained silent for the duration of the three hour meeting. But, Naruto stayed there, waiting patiently. Not pestering him because he believed that was the right thing to do.

Not push Deidara. He stayed with him, silent with him for three hours. Not moving, not leaving. Just to show Deidara that he could trust him. Just to show Deidara that he wouldn't give up on him.

When his timer went off, Naruto stood. And if it were possible, Deidara tensed even more.

"You don't expect me to help you, Deidara. Maybe one night, you finally decide not to wake up the next morning."

He glared at the ceiling. "But dammit, you're going to have to kill me to get rid of me. Because I am not giving up. And neither are you. I'm going to pester you and pester you until you believe that maybe the next day would be different, maybe for once you'll realize that you've finally stepped out of the circle that you were stuck in and were made to live the same day over and over again. That's what I call hope."

Deidara would stay in the hospital until suicide watch was over.

Naruto trudged home, almost sad. He should have been delighted. Because now he had a job. Now, he required himself to go and meet Deidara in that silent room every two days for three hours.

But, he wasn't sure if he could. He wasn't sure if he could discover more stories that no one ever saw of Deidara. The ones he never told.

Walking into his home, he smiled at his father's soft eyes as the man stood cooking. Kakashi smiled too. "Musuko, the Uchihas will be over soon for dinner."

The thought of food made the genius nearly sick to his stomach and the only thing he could think of was blood. Blood and gore and pain and sorrow.

"I am not much hungry this evening, tousan. I will explain tomorrow. Please tell them I said goodnight."

Naruto rushed upstairs and gently placed Deidara's traumatizing files within his draw, nearly believing they were as fragile as the man within.

He came to Konoha to show the world that life was beautiful. He'd come to find the beautiful mind and he found Itachi. He didn't come to find a beautiful heart, but he fell in love with Sasuke.

But never, in his 23 years of life, had Naruto discovered a beautiful crystal, so ready to be shattered in the wake of troubled times.

A soft knock on his door made the genius jump and Sasuke came in, curiosity evident on his beautiful features.

Naruto turned away. "I cannot tell you a thing, Sasuke. It's confidential and I could lose my job."

"Job?" The raven asked, sitting next to him and laying his head upon the tan shoulder.

"Yes. I am required to help Deidara-san until he enjoys life. Until I deem him ready. We meet every two days for three hours."

Sasuke put his head down. "That bad, huh?"

"That bad." The blond mumbled. He felt heavy and sad. If he didn't save Deidara, surely the man wouldn't live upon earth anymore. Surely, he would kill himself. And the burden was too heavy to think about.

"I don't want to know." Sasuke muttered as a matter of fact, killing his thoughts.

"Hm?"

"I don't want to know. About what happened to Deidara or what he did. I don't think I could. I'd just feel guilty." Sasuke mumbled, embarrassed cheeks a rosy hue.

"Guilty? Why?"

"A few years back. Before the accident…..Deidara and my brother and a couple of their friends were on the same swimming team. One day, Deidara just stopped talking to my brother. Stopped coming around. Stopped eating lunch with us. I don't know why though. But I remember hating him. I remember thinking that he betrayed my brother."

Naruto nodded and the two grew silent. Naruto afraid, hopeless, and sad. Sasuke guilty, betrayed, and hopeful. But, both were content in each other's embrace. After a while, Naruto spoke cautiously, remembering the way Deidara sat stiff and the day he'd first encountered the look alike.

"I'm not sure if you remember, but he is beautiful, Sasuke."

Sasuke tensed slightly, but then relaxed, knowing that Naruto's definition of beautiful didn't come with faces. "Beautiful?"

"Extremely so. I cannot tell you much, but I will tell you this. His life has never been like a television commercial. We see them with their white teeth and perfect BMI. We see them always smiling, laughing and making good jokes. Their homes are perfect, in decoration and cleanliness. They drive a nice car and go on vacations. They purchase gifts for one another and expensive hair products because "they're worth it." They show love by spending money. Their children are angelic. They eat only the best food and have fulfilling careers. They aren't Deidara and I'll bet they aren't you. But no matter the circumstances, life is beautiful. His life is worthwhile. And I'm going to show him that."

Sasuke smiled softly at Naruto's enthusiasm, seeing the ideas Kakashi saw all those years ago. "That's right."

"We live in novels that have been created just for us, right? Worlds woven by words that we circle as though we are the Earth and they, the sun. Stories we tell ourselves become who we are, and suddenly, we're orbiting time and space like we're following a script. If I follow this, I can save Deidara."

"Yeah. Yeah, you can."

Naruto tears as Sasuke wondered where'd they'd come from. "Of course, in two days and maybe two weeks, Deidara will sit stiff afraid. But soon, soon baby, he's going to open up. He's going to say something, anything. His hand will twitch….and the, Sasuke, that is when we will start."

Sasuke laughed softly as Naruto jumped upon the bed, excited and readying himself for two days ahead.

That night, Naruto sat out on his porch, thinking and wondering if Deidara was still alive. If he would make it through the night.

The soft shuffling of air hit his cheek and the genius stared up at the full moon. He'd forgotten all about its bright aura, forgetting how important it was.

"Yes." He mumbled. "Yes of course. It's the little things. Thank you for keeping my shadow alive." Looking toward his hands, he smiled softly.

This chapter was so hard for me to write. I've never directly put graphics in here like such with the rape and molestation. It scared me slightly and I have to say….with the way I'm writing this, it seems that my own favorite character will be Deidara. Please don't hate me for writing this. And please review.

Quotes of the Chapter: summarizes something with Deidara. You'll learn soon.

"When a storm comes, I push those closest to me away. It's not because of anything they've done or said, but because I can't let them see how broken I am."

"And suddenly, for no apparent reason, everything started falling apart too quickly to fix."