Really glad there seem to be an interest in this story and thank you guys for all the great reviews! I will try to update often, and as I got a few chapters already written I will update those daily to start with. All feedback, good and bad is appreciated.

Note: I know that they don't have the death sentence in Illinois but well this is a fictional story, so not everything will be exactly how it is in reality.

Enjoy!

JAY POV.

The second Jay had got back to his cell after his latest visit from Detective Lindsay it had all flooded over him, all of his emotions. Ever since that first tear, as he'd mentioned "Jessica Turner", he had felt how all of his emotions had been bursting to come out from the inside of his body. But he had fought them back, at least as much as he could. It had certainly not been the time to collapse into a emotional wreck. Not in front of her, not when he had the chance to make sure the Turners were ok.

But by the time he stepped back into his cell, by the second he relaxed and let go of the breath he didn't know he'd been holding in it all came out. It felt like he was being hit by a tsunami, a tsunami of feelings. He could barley stand up and as he collapsed down by the wall all the tears he'd fought to keep inside came swirling out. After awhile he lifted his head from his tucked arms, as he looked down it wasn't water from his tears that he saw, instead his arms were filled by blood.. the blood of Jessica Turner. He shook his head back to reality, stood up and banked his head gently towards the wall trying to direct his thoughts to something else, and they did but nothing good.

Everything he'd stopped thinking about for the last four years came back to him, every emotion he'd locked out now found it's way back. Anger, pain, hurt, angst, grief, frustration…

He didn't know what to do with himself, he tried hitting the wall to get out his anger, like he'd done four years ago. It didn't work. He tried crying it out, but it didn't help. He screamed, he walked, he closed his eyes maybe if everything went black it would help, but it didn't. Nothing worked. Detective Erin Lindsay had somehow switched the ON button on his feelings and now he had no idea how to turn them back off. He needed to, he needed to do it so badly, but he couldn't.

After hours of screaming, punching, crying. After hours of painful memories and memories that once had been good but now only reminded him of everything he'd lost. He gave up on trying, he was now sitting on his bed, the back against the wall, knees tucked up against his chin. That's when he started to think about her, about Erin Lindsay.

He hadn't seen it during her first visits, being as zoned out as he'd been. But thinking back to her last visit, the one that took place just hours earlier the only thing he could think of was how beautiful she'd been. Those hazel eyes glimmering, that light brown hair flowing. But more than the looks it had been her charisma, her posture. Here he was a man on death row, a monster to everyone on the outside world but she hadn't been afraid. She hadn't had the look that the few people he'd met over the last couple of years would have when they saw him, she didn't look at him with resentment, she didn't fear him.

She listened to him, she even seemed to care. Damn she had even promised to keep his secret about helping the Turners, he didn't know if she had actually meant it but she'd seemed genuine.

Looking back at her visit he suddenly realised that it was Erin who had taken him back to reality after years of being a zombie. She was the first person in four years who had treated him as a human being.

As he went to bed that night, he would think about her and as he did a smile spread across his face, he wasn't sure he'd ever smiled in this cell before. But he didn't care, somehow just the thought of Erin made him happy and he liked it.

He wasn't feeling sadness and anger anymore instead there were new feelings taking over his body, feelings he'd become quite unfamiliar with since it been so long since he'd last felt them. Happiness, curiousness he wanted to know more about her, and longing he couldn't wait to see her again.

That's when it hit him, the case was over. The reason for her visit earlier that day had been to tell him that they had caught the son of a bitch. She would have no more reason to come back. He would likely never see her again. Why could nothing, not even his thoughts stay good for longer than a second. He sighed heavily as he drifted into sleep, dreaming of how things might have turned out had he met Erin on the outside world, instead of in here on death row.

ERIN (and Hank) POV.

It had gone two days since she'd closed the Turners case but Erin couldn't stop thinking about those green eyes that belonged to a certain Jay Halstead. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him and she certainly shouldn't be thinking about him in the way she did. She knew what he had done, in fact she had read his case file so many times she'd lost count, she knew he was a monster. She knew that she should resent him, she wanted to resent him. But she just couldn't.

There was something in those eyes there was something about him. Especially during her last visit, the way he'd opened up to her, the way he'd showed his vulnerability. How that tear had rolled down his cheek when he talked about the Turner kid, how he had to clear his throat several times in order to continue to talk. Not to mention how he'd given all of his money to the Turner family. Nothing added up to the things she read about him in his file, nothing of it added up to the horrific crime he had committed.

"LINDSEY!", she was abruptly taken back from her thoughts by Hank Voight. She hadn't noticed when he got there but he was now standing straight in front of her desk looking at her and he looked pissed.

"I'm sorry.. I was just… ehm.. nothing, sorry"

"I've been trying to get your attention for over a minute, we caught a case. We have to hurry, come on."

As she looked around she now noticed that the rest of the unit had already emptied the bullpen. She must really have been deep in thought not noticing anything.

"Of course Sarge", Erin took her jacket and headed towards the door but before she could sprint down the stairs Hank stopped her.

"Wait kiddo, what was all of that about anyhow, are you ok?"

"I'm fine it's nothing, I promise.. just lost in thoughts I guess."

"Ok, so it doesn't have anything to do with that cop-killer?"

Hank had noticed that Erin hadn't really been herself ever since they'd finished that case. For starters she had requested Halstead's file from the storage locker a worrying amount of times. He had tried to ask her about it but he knew when her walls was up they were almost impossible to break down, and right now they were taller than the Empire state building. He figured she was just trying to figure out how someone could do such a thing, a cop never-less. When it all went down seven years ago he had wondered that himself and he too had read those files a few times. But it didn't make him any wiser so he stopped, he eventually left it all behind him and guessed that sooner or later Erin would too.

"Are you guys coming or what!?" before Erin could answer Hank's question, Antonio Dawson shouted for them from downstairs.

"Be right there.." Hank shouted back, his eyes still locked on Erin's waiting for her to say something. She wanted to ignore his question but knew he wouldn't let her.

"What?… No, definitely not.. I'm fine," she said while turning her head, hoping he hadn't noticed the redness on her face, she speeded down the stairs almost bumping straight into Antonio who was still waiting by the bottom step.

"Huh… you just went from turtle speed to speedy Gonzalez" he said with a chuckle as they headed out towards the cars, Hank following behind with confusion written all over his face… Had he just seen Erin blush over his question, what was she blushing about. He didn't get it.

JAY POV.

Jay woke abruptly by the banging on his cell door as one of the guards screamed at him "hey, cop-killer it's time to get pretty" Oh god he hated when they called him that, and now it hurt more, now when he felt it, those words made his entire body swirl.

The guard put the bracelets on his arms and feet. He had to be shackled ever time he left his cell, which all in all wasn't that often. He was led past the other isolating cells hearing inmates screaming insults at him, being an ex-cop wasn't popular in here. He had taken the walk so many times before but he'd forgot how it actually felt and now every word hit him hard, every taunt made him want to throw up.

Finally they reached their destination, the guard showed him into the small room, busted him to the chair. Made sure he couldn't move neither legs nor arms and therefore not possess any threat.

Once a month a barber would arrive to cut the hair of those inmates who where down here, in the hole, isolated from the rest. For years the barber had been the only contact from the outside world that Jay had got, but they never talked more than a few sentences to each-other. Because like everyone else the barber saw Jay as a monster. He hadn't even told him his name, he just came once a month cut his hair and then he was gone again.

Jay hadn't cared before but now he did. Because now even if he wanted to or not he cared about everything. Before every time when the barber had put a mirror in front of him he had remained stoned faced, his eyes had been directed towards the mirror but he hadn't looked, he hadn't seen.

This time he did and he was shocked of what he saw. He looked completely worn out, like he was ten years older than he actually was. His hair had grown rather long, covering big parts of his ears, it was simply one big mess on the top of his head. His beard had grow big too, he hadn't bothered to shave it for months, it was bushy and wild. He didn't even recognise himself.

It hadn't bothered him before, no one would see it anyhow. But now suddenly he started to think about Erin. It didn't make any sense, he would likely never see her again and even if he would it wouldn't lead anywhere, it couldn't lead anywhere. But somehow he wanted to at least try and look good, look good for her. Damn, it sounded pathetic even in his head.

But Jay still found himself giving the barber exact instructions on how he wanted his hair cut and also asking him if he could do his beard as well.

"The day is getting close I hear… about time." the barber said as he complied to Jay's requests.

Jay knew exactly what he meant. Having not cared about his hair for over four years now he suddenly did, in the barber's head that could only mean one thing: that Jay wanted to look good for his execution.

At first he wanted to correct him, tell him that he did in fact have 2 years left until the doom-day. But then he decided not to, maybe if he did the barber would go back on his word. So he stayed quiet as he let his mind travel to a certain detective.

ERIN POV.

I do need his help, he can help with this. He's a good detective, that's why I'm here. That's the only reason I'm here. Erin tried her best to convince herself that she was only back at Stateville because she had to.

Jay Halstead had in reality exactly nothing to do with the new case that they had caught but when they got stuck she somehow told herself that he could help. She hadn't told Voight or anyone else in the unit that she was going back to visit "the cop-killer", she knew they would talk her out of it anyway.

The real reason she wanted to come here however was that she needed to see the bad side of him. She needed to see the psychopath, the monster. She needed to see that so she could forget about him, forget about those green eyes.

But those thoughts were long gone when she stepped into the small room and saw him. She was left speechless. The man in front of her was not the same Jay Halstead she had met during her first visit. That man had been cold as ice, his eyes had been grey with an empty glare, his hair a mess and his beard looking like he hadn't shaved for years. By her last visit, his eyes had turned from grey to green, they had been full of life, full of emotions. They had in fact been some of the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen.

It had been those eyes that fucked her up, those eyes that made it impossible not to think about him. Those eyes that had taken her back here.

But when she looked at him now it wasn't just his eyes that had got it's life back it was his entire face, his entire body. Now his hair was cut short, his chin shaved. He looked years younger, he looked fresher and damn he had really cleaned up nice. Sure his face was still worn out, big black bags under his eyes, showing that he hadn't slept in awhile. Now when she thought about it, those black bags hadn't been there before, he had seemed well or at least better rested last time.

She was taken out from her thoughts as Jay knocked on the window, signalling her to sit down and pick up the phone.

"You cleaned up well there Mr. Halstead. What's the occasion?" she finally said.

"Thank you, just wanted to look good for this detective, who visits me all the time", he said with a smirk.

"No but in all seriousness, felt I might be breaking some laws with that beard and wouldn't like to end up in prison, you know…"

She smiled at his joke, he wasn't just handsome he was funny too, or at least a bit dorky. Why had someone so perfect have to be such a bad person, be the worst of the lot; a cop-killer. Then she realised what he had just said, she knew it was likely just a joke but somehow a part of her hoped that it was for her he had freshen up.

They stayed quiet for a bit just looking at each-other.

"So why do I owe this pleasure…" Jay finally broke the silence. "I didn't think you would ever come back again"

Oh there it was. Of course he hadn't cut his hair and shaved for her, he hand't even thought she'd be back. He had probably never thought about her since her last visit. She didn't want to but somehow she felt disappointed.

Noticing her hesitation to answer his question he started to panic, his smile disappearing from his face. "Is everything all-right with the Turners? Please don't tell me anything has happened to them."

"No, no it's not that… this has nothing to do with that. They are all great.", she quickly responded calming him down.

"Oh so you just missed seeing my smiling face then… I get it" he said and as he did he smiled again while raising one of his eyebrows.

Damn he looked hot doing that.

"Oh you wish.."

Yeah I really did, Jay thought but he didn't let her know that instead he put on a pretended saddened face.

Erin had to shake her head a few time to get her thoughts back to where they should be and as she did she turned in to the professional mode that she should have been in the second she stepped in the room. She wasn't here to have funny banters with Jay, she was here to get him to help her catch a murderer.

He had been a bit surprised by her coming to him with a case that didn't have anything to do with him at all, but at the same time he felt flattered that she thought he was such a good detective that he could help her, even while sitting in a isolating cell.

Erin hadn't really expected Jay to be able to help her but she soon realised that he must have been a damn good detective, because he saw things she hadn't. While the whole Intelligence unit, that consisted of what she believed to be the best detectives in Chicago, had been stuck on this for over a week Jay directly spotted things they hadn't seen.