Voices In My Head
Chapter 6
Before MC and Saeran made it back to the party she pulled him off to the side. "Are you alright?" She asked while looking into his eyes. Saeran nodded and shrugged. "I'll be fine. You just need to worry about having a great birthday." He smiled and gently placed a hand on her cheek. MC blushed and looked away, towards the party hall. "We should get back." Was all she said before tugging Saeran with her to the party. Jaehee ran up to MC with a concerned look on her face. "I heard a yell and crash, is everything okay?" She asked quickly while looking over MC for injuries. Saeran noticed light bruises on MC's wrists from his brother's grip. MC hugged Jaehee and told her that everything was fine, that she had just tripped. The women smiled at each other and went to mingle with the rest of the guests. Saeran looked around for Saeyoung, hoping that his brother wouldn't start anything.
The party went along smoothly, the guests had donated just around $50,000 to be divided into charities, MC was showered with birthday wishes, and anyone who saw Saeran and MC together kept mistaking them as a couple. They, of course, dismissed it every time. The party was ending and MC walked up to the podium to make an announcement. She tapped on the microphone, confirming that it was working. "Good evening, guests and RFA members. This is only the third party I have hosted since I joined the RFA. The members have been incredibly sweet and caring towards me. If you hadn't realized already, it is my birthday today. I'm officially turning twenty-one." There was a chorus of people telling her happy birthday as she stopped to take a breath. "There is one member in the RFA that I would like to thank." MC took a deep breath and looked right into Saeran's eyes. "Saeran Choi, if you could please make your way up closer to the stage." MC smiled at him as he slowly walked over. What is she planning? Saeran thought as he looked up at her. She cleared her throat and continued talking. "Saeran Choi is a new member of the RFA, we had found him after my first party in a deteriorating mental state. After being admitted to a hospital, he slowly got better. He lived with his brother for four months before coming to live with me." The crowd looked at Saeran and muttered apologies to him. He nodded and stared at the ground in embarrassment. "In the week that Mr. Choi has been living with me, I have realized just how lonely my apartment was. He cared for me, made sure I ate, he didn't let me over work myself when planning this party, and he filled the silence of the apartment. In fact, the dress that I am wearing tonight was given to me by Saeran as a birthday gift. I could say so much more, but this is a RFA party." MC laughed softly before looking out to the crowd with determination. "Before I hand the microphone over to Saeran, I want to personally donate five hundred dollars to this party. Thank you all for coming, the party will be ending in about an hour, so any last donations need to be made. Please see my fellow RFA member Jaehee Kang if you have any last-minute donations. Thank you." MC smiled brightly and motioned for Saeran to get on stage.
He shook his head before slowly taking MC's place at the podium. She hugged him before rushing off the stage. Saeran cleared his throat and placed his hands on the podium to steady himself. "Hello… I am Saeran Choi, the newest member of the RFA. As MC stated, I was in a bad mental state before I joined. Since I have been in the RFA however; the members welcomed me with open arms. Although some of them weren't sure of me at first, we all learned to set aside any doubts we had about each other and become friends." Saeran took a shaky breath while looking out at the crowd. He spotted MC, who gave him an encouraging thumbs up. "I want to say happy birthday to the woman who has helped with my recovery. MC, the woman who hosted this party, has saved me from the poisonous thoughts that ran rampant in my mind. Before I moved in with her, we would go get ice cream together on the weekends, a pass time that I've clung to since my childhood. I want to personally thank the RFA for welcoming me. I also want to extend a thanks to MC… who has saved me from falling back into my broken thoughts." Saeran smiled and let go of the podium. "I want to donate to the RFA specifically. These funds I am going to donate go straight to the RFA organization, in hopes of holding more parties in the future. I'm donating fifty thousand dollars from my personal bank account. Thank you for having me and happy birthday, my dear MC." Saeran heard gasps through the crowd as he stepped down from the stage.
MC came up to him and hugged him tightly. "That was amazing!" She laughed while looking up at him. Saeran smiled and hugged her back, this day went from bad to amazing just because of her. Saeran let go of MC and walked up to Jaehee, who was looking at him in shock. "I have a card that the money can be pulled off. It was given to me by Rika and Mint Eye… funds to set me up." Saeran explained to her. Jaehee nodded and swiped the card once Saeran handed it to her. Jaehee smiled at Saeran when she gave him back the card. "You still have a decent amount on there." She said while taking another donation. "Yeah. I've been saving it for a good cause. I'm hoping the other members don't see me as such a bad person now." Saeran chuckled as he put the card away. Jaehee was staring at something behind Saeran, her face went white. "Jaehee are you alright?" He asked while placing a hand on her shoulder. Jaehee nodded and pointed behind Saeran.
He turned around and saw Saeyoung, his arm was wrapped around her shoulder tightly. "Saeran. Dear brother, we need to have a chat outside." Saeyoung said while smirking. Saeran could feel the poison in his words, it almost matched his mother's voice. Saeyoung started to walk outside, Saeran at his heels. The crowd of guests parted as they let the trio move swiftly outside. Zen grabbed the microphone in a panic and told the guests that the party was about to end. The guests grabbed their items and filtered out of the venue. Saeyoung led his twin to the back of the building, letting go of MC while turning to face his brother. "We need to talk." Saeyoung said while shrugging off his hoodie. Saeran stood a few feet in front of his brother, MC was behind him. "What is it about this time?" Saeran asked, keeping his temper in check. Saeyoung laughed as he rolled up his red long-sleeve shirt. Saeran recognized this move, he was going to try and fight him. That idiot. He clearly is not thinking straight. Saeran thought as he took off the suit jacket. "MC can you hold this?" He asked quickly while handing it to her. She nodded and took the jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders to keep the night chill away.
Saeran rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, mimicking his brother. Saeyoung clapped and laughed to himself. "What did you want to talk about." Saeran asked while glaring at his brother. "I want you to explain all of the shit that went down within the first two months of living with me, to MC." His brother said while looking at her. Saeran sighed and looked at the ground. "Is that it? Nothing you want to yell at me about?" He said before looking up at his twin. Saeyoung shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Saeran sighed again and turned to MC. "When I first got to his house my body was still going through the drug withdraws. Since my mind was trained to want to kill my brother, when he stopped me from trying to kill myself, I snapped and tried to strangle him. With my bare hands. What Saeyoung didn't tell you is that he actually talked me out of it, that's why he is still alive today." Saeran explained, his eyes pleaded MC to forgive him. "During the second month of staying there, my mental state was worse. The drugs had almost fully cleared out of my system, but my mentality was still fragile and broke at any second. I broke a glass one day in a fit of rage. The sharpest piece seemed to call for me, so I picked it up and used it to harm myself. For two weeks, I cut into my skin. The only reason I stopped is because Saeyoung noticed and bitched at me for it. He only noticed because I was careless and left blood stains on my sheets and on the inside of my jacket." Saeran held out his arms to MC, the scars were still visible. They matched the rest of his body, especially his back.
MC gently traced her fingers over his arms, the scar tissue was bumpy compared to the rest of his arm. Saeyoung glared at the sight of his brother and MC. "What do you feel sorry for him now?! Oh, he just had a weak mentality! He never wanted to do any of it! That's bullshit MC! He tried to kill you! He tried to kill me! He killed V!" Saeyoung yelled, his voice echoing. Saeran turned to face his brother, his golden eyes clouded with anger. "Oh, big bad Saeran is going to fuck up his twin! Write this down in your diaries!" Saeyoung laughed sarcastically. MC grabbed Saeran's arm to stop him, but he shrugged her off. "He has no right to say that shit!" Saeran growled while glaring at his twin. MC looked at Saeran, silently telling him to not get hurt. MC nodded and let go of his arm, walking away from the brothers to stand against the wall. Saeyoung smirked as his twin stood in front of him. They both put their hands up, as if they were about to fight. Saeran turned back to look at MC, silently apologizing for this.
Suddenly, Saeran's vision went black and he fell to the ground. He groaned as he held the side of his face, pain blossoming from his right eye. Saeran saw stars as he stood up, watching his brother shake his hand from the punch he had just delivered. He heard MC cry out, asking if he was okay. Saeran shook his head but kept his arms at his sides. I will not fight. I will not fight him. Not unless the pain becomes too much. Saeran chanted as his brother delivered a kick to his ribs. Saeran fell back down to the ground and wheezed. Saeyoung was enjoying this, his gold eyes were dull and filled with raw anger. Saeran stood up again, not ready to give up. "You just won't give up, will you?" Saeyoung cackled as he punched his brother again. "What if I hurt her? Then will you fight back?" He said darkly, his eyes focusing on MC.
After another kick to the ribs, Saeyoung starting walking over to MC. Saeran stood up weakly, his ribs and face hurt like hell. "Don't touch her Saeyoung." He said, his voice was weak and laced with pain. His brother laughed and turned back to him. "What will you do? She doesn't care about you anyways." Saeyoung knew exactly what to say, the perfect thing that would break Saeran down. Saeyoung's voice melted into their mother's, the memories of the abuse came flooding back. The ability that he had as a child to not fight back slapped Saeran in the face. The white-haired twin stared at his brother. His brother's face morphed into his mother's, MC morphed into himself as a child. Saeran was older now, stronger. He would fight this monster before it hurt another person. Saeran glared at this brother and ran toward him, his arm cocked back to deliver a hit of his own. Saeran's fist connected with Saeyoung's nose, the fragile bone audibly cracked and blood spurted out from the area. Saeyoung fell to the ground, clutching his face and crying out in pain. Saeran shook his hand and fell to his knees, all of the energy left his body, leaving him weak and in more pain than ever.
MC rushed over to Saeran and helped him stand up. She looped her arm around his waist and put his arm on her shoulders. Before they walked away, she called the ambulance for Saeyoung. The pair walked away, Saeran hissing in pain with every step. They met Jaehee, Zen, and Yoosung at the front of the building, by MC's car. "We heard crying, is everything alright?!" Zen asked in a hurry, checking over MC for any injuries. "I'm fine, Saeran beat up Seven though. They both took quite a beating." MC explained while grabbing a napkin to wipe some blood off of Saeran's face. Saeran was silent, he had tears leaking out of the eye that Saeyoung punched, it had swelled up already. The RFA members heard sirens and looked up to see the ambulance. MC went up and showed the people where Saeyoung was, while the others grabbed someone to take care of Saeran. Saeyoung was taken to the truck, his broken nose was worse than expected. Some of the shattered bones had hit other areas in his skull. Saeran looked at his hand that was being bandaged. He had hurt his brother, who had morphed into his mother. Saeran shook away the medical officer and turned away, he had messed up, he turned into the person he was back at Mint Eye. Saeran put his head in his hands and cried, he cried for hurting his brother, he cried for thinking that his brother was his mother. MC heard Saeran's sobs and rushed over to comfort him. Her small hands rubbed circles on his back as he let out all of his frustration over tonight.
Look what you've done. You've become the monster that Mint Eye wanted, without the drugs.
His mother's voice cackled in his brain. "Saeran? Saeran are you alright?" He heard MC calling for him. He looked up and wiped his tears away, staring into her bright hazel eyes. MC sighed and pulled the man into a tight embrace, she could see how broken he was right now, he needed something to hold onto before he lost his sanity. Saeran hugged her back and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Don't leave me please MC. You are the only thing separating myself from the monster that Mint Eye created. Help me not loose myself." He whispered against her neck. He felt her nod and hug him tighter. Zen and Jaehee watched the pair silently, they had never seen Saeran so… weak. Yoosung was helping examine Saeyoung, the student helped clean the area and winced at the wound.
After half an hour of crying and medical officers pawing over everyone, they could finally go home. Saeran sat in MC's car as she said goodbye to her friends. Once she was finished, she got into the car and started it. Saeran said nothing as he stared out of the window, he jumped when MC placed a hand on his arm. "Hey… are you okay?" She asked softly. Saeran nodded and brushed his hand over hers. "Yeah. Let's just get home… please." Saeran whispered before going back to stare out of the window. The drive back to the apartment was silent, both of them were still shaken from what had occurred that night.
When they reached the apartment building, MC stalled on getting out of the car. "Let me help you clean up." She said suddenly while turning off the car. "Sure… can we get inside first before you ask me questions?" Saeran muttered while gingerly touching his swollen eye. MC nodded and they both got out, walking up to the lobby together. The woman wasn't there, which relived Saeran, he didn't want more questions being asked. They walked up to the apartment, MC quickly unlocking the door. She stepped inside first, taking off her heels and leaving them by the door. Saeran closed the door behind him and looked at MC. She was rooting around in the kitchen and bathroom for cleaning supplies. He sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. MC gently tapped his shoulder and motioned for him to join her at the table. Saeran got up from the couch and made his way towards the table, using MC's steps as a guide. He sat down and looked into her eyes, they were clouded with worry. Saeran gently placed a hand on her cheek and smiled at her. "I'm fine… don't worry." His words seemed to break her, tears sprung up in the corners of her eyes and began to fall. She nuzzled her cheek into his hand, her tears falling onto the floor in front of them. Saeran brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping the tears away. "I was so worried and scared. Your eyes went black and you looked like you could kill someone Saeran." MC cried, squeezing her eyes shut. "I would have never hurt you MC, I promise." Saeran whispered to her. She shook her head and wiped at her eyes.
They were both shaken about what had happened that night. Saeran feared the monster that Mint Eye managed to keep inside of him and MC feared seeing that monster again. Once MC had stopped crying, she carefully cleaned around Saeran's eye, wincing every time he did. They hated seeing each other in pain. Saeran watched as MC cleaned his knuckles, the stinging of the alcohol reminded him of the force behind his punch. Saeran sighed and closed his eyes again. MC finished bandaging his hand and tapped on his chest gently. "Hm?" He grunted softly, looking at MC through his non-swollen eye. "I need to see your ribs Saeran, you did get kicked there multiple times." She said while clearing her throat. Saeran nodded and unbuttoned the red shirt, he saw MC blush and turn away. Saeran quickly shrugged the shirt off and looked down at his ribs.
There were huge bruises all across his chest. He had to hand it to Saeyoung, he could deal some damage. MC blushed again as she turned around. Saeran wasn't buff in anyway, but he was toned. In Mint Eye, they had taught him how to not only hack and shoot a gun, but they also taught him hand to hand combat, leaving him access to the training room 24/7. MC ran her hand down his chest, taking in the sight of the bruises. She giggled to herself when she saw the start of a V line on his hips. Saeran hissed when she touched his side, where most of the damage was. "Sorry… I wasn't paying attention." She muttered while blushing. Saeran realized that trying to put a regular shirt on would be extremely painful to do. "You don't mind me keeping away from regular shirts while this heals, right?" He asked a blushing MC. She shook her head and cleaned up the mess on the table. "Do you need to relax after tonight?" Saeran asked her, she immediately nodded and threw the stuff away.
Saeran went back to his bedroom and put some sweatpants on. When he came back out to the main section of the house, MC was nowhere to be seen. Saeran shook his head and sat on the couch, inspecting his ribs once more. MC came out of her bedroom, still in her dress and sat next to him. She had brushed out her curls and took off her makeup, but left the dress on. "MC… your dress? I thought you would've changed out of it?" Saeran asked her. She shrugged and looked at it. "I forgot to do laundry and ran out of pajamas." She muttered. Saeran thought for a moment before standing up. "You can borrow one of my shirts." He said while walking back to his bedroom. He grabbed a plain black shirt and handed it to her. "Thanks. Why don't you put something on the TV while I change?" MC said before going back to her bedroom.
Saeran searched for the remote before giving up and flopping back down onto the couch. He didn't watch much television, and the remote had run away… again. Saeran's fingers traced his tattoo as he waited for MC. He heard her door close before he looked up. Saeran's face turned pink when he saw her. The shirt was too big on her, but stopped right at her knees. She had pulled her hair back into a ponytail and had on socks that had some sort of pattern on them. Saeran inspected them closer and found the pattern to be pizzas with wings. He laughed and looked up at the girl who was also smiling. "Nice socks!" He said while laughing. She laughed with him and sat in the seat next to him. The room grew silent as they both calmed down. MC grabbed Saeran's hand and held it, her fingers intertwining with his. Saeran looked at her then their hands, his face turned a light pink. MC scooted closer to him and blushed. "Thank you for everything today, it was the best birthday I've had in a while." She said just loud enough for him to hear. "It was your day, I wanted to make it as special as I could." He muttered while bringing her knuckles up to his lips. He placed a small kiss on her hand and looked at her through his eyelashes.
She was blushing, her eyes were bright with happiness. "You know, if you wanted to get a hug, all you have to do is ask." Saeran chuckled. MC stuck her tongue out and laughed at him. She gently hugged him, her arms snaked around his neck, bringing their faces close together. "I… really wish that he hadn't hurt you." MC whispered while looking into Saeran's eyes. He smiled and gently stroked MC's hair. "What's done is done. I'll do everything I can to prevent him from hurting either of us." He murmured. MC smiled again and she sat up a little. Saeran was overcome with emotion. This woman had helped him so much this past week, he felt something tug at his heart. What was this emotion her felt towards her? Saeran thought about it for a second before a lightbulb went off in his mind. Love, he felt love. For the first time, someone had reached through the darkness that surrounded his heart and showed him love. Saeran smiled brightly and bumped his nose with MC's. "MC, I love you." Saeran laughed. MC was shocked, had he just told her that he loved her? "You... what?" She asked softly. Saeran grinned and cupped her face gently with his hands. "I love you. You showed me what love feels like." He told her while gazing into her eyes. She smiled and blushed again. "I love you too…" MC murmured softly. Saeran kept looking into her eyes before he closed the gap between them. His lips met hers softly, his thumbs gently brushed her cheeks. MC hugged Saeran closer and she kissed him back, confirming their words.
They pulled away and laid with each other. Eventually, MC fell asleep on Saeran's chest, her soft breaths tickled his chest. Saeran stroked her hair as he stared up at the ceiling. The night had been filled with joy and pain, MC's birthday almost got ruined by his brother, Saeran showed a side of himself that he was terrified of, and he had told MC that he loved her. Saeran thought about the card that Jumin Han gave him. Tomorrow morning, he would call and ask about that job. It was time for Saeran to start getting rid of his demons for once and for all.