In this chapter: Demyx likes Celine Dion.
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Ballad
Chapter Fifteen
"All By Myself"
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Roxas didn't know whether to be furious or miserable. Maybe both. "I'm gonna kill him!" He didn't even know who 'he' was, but it felt like the right thing to say. Whoever he was deserved a fate worse than death after screwing up his and Namine's lives.
Namine pulled on the fabric of his shirt to get him to sit back down on the couch. "Roxas, no." He was breathing heavily, erratic. The beginnings of tears started to cling to her eyes, but she blinked them away, taking a deep breath. She needed her wits about her for this and didn't want Roxas treating her nicely because she was nervous. She bit the inside of her cheek and thought, she didn't deserve kindness. "It was all my fault."
He hesitantly took his seat back down on the couch, but this time as far away from her as possible, lower back pressed against the armrest. "So… you wanted it, then?"
"Of course I didn't want for this," she replied. In a perfect world, with a loving husband and two-point-five kids and a dog and a white picket fence, she wouldn't want for anything. But she didn't live in that world, that world wasn't what she wanted. She bit her cheek harder, looking down at her wringing hands. "It was a moment of weakness, but… we… I decided to keep moving forward. I decided I'm going to keep it and take care for it."
It couldn't just end like this, though. Roxas tried to think of somehow, someway to get her to stay. "Namine, you… you don't have to do this alone. I can help you, I c-"
"Roxas, no. Think about it, sweetheart. I won't be doing this alone, but I can't do this with you, I…" She took another deep, calming breath. Inhaling was shaky and unsure, but the exhale was cool and steady. "Do you remember when we met?"
Roxas had to think back. He was a junior in high school. It was a little over four years ago. "I thought you were… really annoying," he said, almost laughing. Namine was somewhat quiet back then, but opiniative. She had a way of using her words to make Roxas think and do things he wouldn't have normally done. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. "You always had paint on your clothes and skin."
"I used to have these dreams of being a world-class artist. My paintings would be in galleries. They would sell for millions of dollars. And when I died they would hang in museums. That was my dream, even when I was a kid, it's what I always wanted. And then… I met this stupid boy when I was sixteen and… he had a cute face, beautiful voice, nice body…" Her face was blushing.
"And I found myself starting to think… maybe this is better. Maybe instead of practicing my shading I could go out on a few dates. Maybe instead of visiting a museum I could stay the night at his place. I began thinking… what if I became a wife instead of an artist? And… I found myself okay with the idea, and… I hated that."
Roxas frowned. "Namine, you shouldn't have felt like you couldn't tell me these things."
Her voice was cracking again. "I know." Her eyes were glassy when she looked up at him. "I told, I was weak." She sighed and had to look away. "I got so comfortable with you that I didn't want you to change. You kept meeting new people and I wanted everything to stay the same so much, and then…" Her voice choked.
"And then what?" Roxas asked, far too calm.
"I met someone," her voice was higher than a whisper, barely there. When Roxas didn't respond right away, she glanced in his direction and saw him silently scowling at the wall. "I'm sorry."
"…And you love him?"
The breath in Namine's throat nearly choked her. She turned bright red and tried to answer calmly, smoothly. "I don't deserve love right now."
Roxas frowned, now glaring holes into the carpet. "Namine."
"I honestly thought you'd be angrier at me."
Of course Roxas was angry. It would be so easy to yell at her right now, call her names he'd regret in the morning, make her feel ashamed, but… what was the difference between what she did with her lover and what Roxas had done with Axel? Any words he had to say to criticize Namine would have to be returned to him tenfold.
But it sucked. It sucked so much because while Roxas was terrified about the feelings he was experiencing for someone who wasn't his fiancee, Namine had already come to terms with hers and moved forward with it regardless. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, would she have said anything? Would Roxas have said anything? It would take a little bit more soul-searching to figure that out.
"…There is a chance that it could be yours," Namine said, breaking the silence. Roxas glanced towards her and focused his eyes on the movements of her hands. He noticed that she wasn't wearing her engagement ring, and her right hand fingers were fidgeting around it in a ghost movement. Eventually her hands remembered that the ring she used to play with when she was nervous was now gone, and instead wrapped them around her lower stomach. "W-we had sex that one time a while ago… The dates match up. Morning sickness can start as early as three weeks after. When I went to Planned Parenthood they said I was about that far along." She seemed to be implying that her affair wasn't a simple one night stand. This was something that had been going on for a while.
"Should… um. Should I be worried?" Roxas asked. It felt like such a stupid question, but still.
It hurt that she had to think about it. "…No, you should be fine. And he's… he's clean. You don't have to worry."
"Is it someone I know?" he asked, fearing the worst. He didn't know Namine's friends that well. He knew she was friends with Larxene who was Demyx's older sister, but other than that her contacts remained exclusive to her major, and Roxas didn't know any of those people.
"…Yes."
His mind instantly thought of every friend he had. It couldn't possibly be Demyx, no way. There was Edward and Eric that he had invited to his birthday party, although he didn't think Namine knew them that well at all; he had only spoken of them in passing. There was Pence, but he lived out of town and it seemed ridiculous for them to have an affair. Pence was fiercely loyal and Roxas couldn't imagine him going behind his back like that. The only other he could think of that both he and Namine were familiar with was… Hayner. But that would be… impossible… right?
It all made sense now. The reason why Namine was always so upset about Roxas spending time with him was because she was worried about the two friends getting too close and her secret coming to light. Hayner had recently broken up with his last girlfriend, and he must have turned to Namine for comfort. That was why he was always told Roxas repeatedly about how he didn't think it was a good idea for him to be getting married. When he thought back to his phone conversation he had with him last night, he had made the comment "I think you're forgetting about the elephant in the room." That elephant was that his best friend knocked up his fiancée.
"Roxas, why don't you lie down? You look dead."
And Roxas felt it. After not getting any sleep last night, he finds out that his brother is a lying creep, his friend stabbed him in the back, and his wife shot him through the heart. He nodded absently and started walking towards the bedroom. He noticed immediately a small duffle bag that looked like it was stuffed with clothes.
"…I figured I'd do better staying at Kairi's tonight," Namine mumbled, walking past him to pick up her bag. "Is there anything you want to say?"
There were a lot of choice words floating through his head at that moment, but he couldn't bring himself to say any of them to her. "…I thought you had an IUD…"
"I do," she sighed, "but it failed. Usually, with him I would… take a morning after pill, just to be safe…" Apparently during one of her little trysts she forgot. "Roxas, you have no idea how sorry I am."
"…Does this mean you don't love me anymore?"
The air around them was stagnant and heavy. Roxas could hear Namine trying her best to hold back tears. She was always characterized as having an incredibly tough spirit, but even the strongest would have a hard time holding back in this situation. He at least understood why she had been so moody lately. "Roxas, I'm sorry," she whispered.
Before she left the room, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Of course I do," she replied almost silently. If a pin had dropped he would have missed it. However her footsteps were crystal clear as she walked through the den and out the door.
For once in your life
Just pretend
That nobody exists
Except for you
And the person who makes you happy
For Roxas there was nobody else, just him. Even that light was fading fast. He had lost his brother, his friend, and his fiancée in a matter of days. He collapsed on the bed he and Namine had shared and fell asleep. He slept through classes the next day. The day after he ignored his phone as it rang from the other room. He didn't look dead, he felt dead. He was dead. He curled up in bed tighter, crushing himself under a pile of pillows and quilts until all signs of the outside world were extinguished.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
"Hey Xigbar. I made the changes in the song you wanted."
As soon as the long-haired guitarist stepped through the door he was handed another sheet of paper. With an exasperated sigh, the man rolled his eyes without even bothering to look at it. "What did I tell you about using sheet music? I can't read your chicken scr- oh. Never mind." Once he finally took a moment to look at the paper, he noticed Axel had painstakingly drawn out all eight chords they would be using for the entire song, along with the lyrics hand-written below with the chord names written above where he was supposed to change. The lyrics were typed out so they were nice and easy to read.
"Is that okay?" Axel asked.
The older man sighed, reading over the notes with much more ease than before. Looking at the chords along with Axel's small notes to the side, it was definitely much easier to understand than before. He knew how much Axel liked writing sheet music, and how naturally it came to him, so seeing him amend his style and write down chords was practically life-altering. "Yeah. Yeah, man, thanks a lot." Axel smiled, finally feeling like he was completely reconciled with at least one person in his life. The guitarist looked around Axel's empty apartment and frowned. "Am I the first one here?"
"I don't know what's keeping Lux and Mars. Probably work-work or something. I'm hoping they can get everything sorted out with their bank and the gallery before we head out."
"It's going to be so tight going back east," Xigbar exclaimed, putting his guitar case on the floor so he could open it. "It's so awesome that you got us a spot on that tour. I hear some venues have already started posting flyers. Check it!"
As he opened his guitar case he pulled out a flyer for the tour they had agreed to do. Headlining was Wayfinder, of course. Some other bigger names were featured under them. Since 13 Hearts was traveling out of state and was part of the tour, they had their name in larger fonts than some of the smaller, local bands that would be opening that night. Six bands playing in one night sounded like an absolutely amazing set. Axel smiled at seeing their band's name in print.
"This is going to be epic. Think of how many CDs we're gonna sell! We're gonna be the shit," he commented happily. He was thankful that he had ordered another case from the charter recording company, but worried that he should have bought more shirts. It was difficult running a band and the merch alone, but fortunately it was just the distraction he needed.
There came a knock on the door and without waiting for a reply, Luxord walked in and greeted the others. "Alright," he sighed, placing his bass on the floor. "What's on the schedule for the day?"
"You say schedule funny…"
Axel paused and looked towards the door that Luxord had just closed behind them. Marluxia's drums were still set up in the living room, where the band held most of their practices, but there was no Marluxia to fill them. "Where's Thing Two?" Axel commented as Luxord took his bass out of his bag.
"Oh, I reckon you won't be seeing much of him around today, like."
"Well, is he going to show up at all?" Axel asked, knowing how difficult it was to practice without the drums keeping rhythm. It usually meant more work and less creativity on Luxord's part. "What gives? We're going on tour next month!"
"He spoke to you, didn't he?" Luxord asked. He attached the strap onto his machine and wrapped it around himself. "He told you that you picked a crap time to go on tour, right? We're making major headway with the gallery we can't just leave for two months. Marluxia's staying here… I thought he told you?"
"What do you mean Mars is staying?" Axel cried. "No! He's our drummer, we need him! He's the original band. We can't hire a replacement!"
"You know I'm good for drums, if you wouldn't mind picking up bass," Luxord said with a shrug. However, the day Axel Rose put down his six strings to play bass would be the day hell froze over. "Or, you know, if anyone wants to pick up bass…" he tacked on, looking towards Xigbar, but the same might as well go double for him. The blond bassist rolled his eyes and rested his hands on his hips. "Okay, so how about just for today. Do you want me on drums or bass?"
Axel shook his head. "No, go ahead and stay on bass. I don't want you learning drum lines if you won't be needing them. We'll talk to Marluxia later about the bailout." Axel wasn't in a mood to argue over the phone, especially with someone like Marluxia. Once he'd made his decisions, at least in his own affairs, he usually stuck to them like glue. If Axel were to call him he probably would screen his calls, so for now it was for the best to resume practice as usual.
"Remember the day
Keep the time
Just don't forget
That today you're mine!"
Axel sang with no microphone, playing the chords on his guitar unplugged while Xigbar tuned his. "See, it sounds… something like that. I dunno. Plug in and see how it sounds on your amp. Luxord, I want you to keep time for us. Turn your amp up a little louder so we can hear better and keep four time. Feel free to improvise, I'm doing a recording." When practicing new songs Axel liked to keep a digital recorder running so he could reference any good material his bandmates came up with.
Xigbar looked at his paper and played the chords and notes quickly, just as Axel had written them, but with much more skill than the leading redhead could ever hope to have. That was why Axel was always rhythm guitarist because he was better at repetitive chords rather than meticulous note-plucking.
"So where's the boy wonder?" Xigbar asked as he waited for Luxord and Axel to plug in.
"Who?" Luxord asked. He turned up his amp louder than usual so Axel and Xigbar would be able to hear some sort of rhythm once they got their guitars warmed up.
"You know, the kid. Roxas. I thought Axel invited him to practice or something," he stated, turning towards the redheaded singer.
Axel frowned and strummed his guitar to make sure everything was in tune. "He won't be joining us tonight. And, uh… we're not going to be playing the wedding."
This was definitely news to Xigbar and Luxord. Both stared at Axel with wide eyes and dropped jaws. "Seriously?" Xigbar croaked, trying to decided whether to be angry or worried. "Why?"
"That's what I wanna know," Luxord added, irritated. "Axel, I needed that money for the shop."
"Everything's about the stupid shop these days," Axel said, rolling his eyes. "I thought that the gallery was supposed to help the band. It's like a distraction now!"
"It will help the band. It's an investment. But it doesn't mean jack shit if you don't invest," Luxord insisted.
"Roxas' wife decided that she wanted to go in a different direction for the reception," Axel said with a shrug. "There was nothing we could have done about it, that's why we're going on tour. Trust me, we'll make ten times as much money for your little garden gallery thing."
Luxord sighed and scratched the back of his scalp. There was little that could be done about it now. Once a bride puts her foot down the decision's irreversible. Although he did like the odds given. Why invest hundreds when he could invest thousands? He would be lying if he said he wouldn't miss having Roxas at their shows, but it was for the best. A tour would be a great way to promote.
Axel sighed and shifted through some papers of notes he wrote for himself. He was trying to act as if nothing happened, because if the guys found out that he and Roxas fooled around he would be in deep shit. After what happened to Riku and the repercussions, he was going to make sure that the same wouldn't happen to him. He wouldn't fall, he wouldn't stay in the same place, and he definitely wouldn't hide. The best way to go about this would be to pretend it never happened. Besides there would be a lot of cute guys on tour to take his mind off the blond thorn in his side, he was certain.
"Okay, is everyone ready?" he asked, looking to his friends. The set just seemed incredibly empty without Marluxia on drums. It reminded him too much of their first practice without Riku. They would have to make it through somehow, but it seemed like one by one 13 Hearts was losing their original band members. If he wasn't going on tour then there was always the possibility that this was just the beginning. What if Marluxia left for good? There was only so much stretching they could do before they would have to start looking for new talent. The very thought terrified Axel.
"One two three- Go!"
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
There was a loud knocking at the door that woke Roxas up. For a moment he lay in bed with his mind trying to fight his foggy memory. By now he had no idea what day it was and had trouble gathering up the energy to care. Maybe if he wished hard enough the banging would stop and they'd give up and go away. Roxas curled further under his sheets until he heard a voice coming from outside.
"He's not gonna open it. C'mon, I have the key."
Sora. Roxas growled under his breath and, for a brief moment, considered hiding under the bed and pretending like he wasn't at home. But before his plan could come to fruition he heard the door squeak open, and he suddenly remembered all those times Namine had asked him politely to grease the hinges.
"Roooooxas," Sora called from the living room. The blond had left the bedroom door open, and he could hear the footsteps thumping across the carpeted floor. "Hey, buddy, you under there? It's like nine at night, too early for sleeping…"
"Go away," Roxas stated clearly. However he knew better, because Sora was a family bloodstain, and he wasn't going anywhere.
"Good to know you're alive," Sora said cheerily, pulling the sheets back on the bed. Roxas didn't bother opening his eyes at the sudden flood of light coming from the bedroom lights being turned on, but he could hear his brother's sharp intake of breath sounding like a hiss. "Wow, Rox, when's the last time you shaved? You look like crap." At least it was a step up from dead.
It was true that Roxas usually tried to keep a clean appearance, and for perfectly acceptable reasons he had been lax the past few days, but he could have done without his brother's words. Or his brother being in his apartment at all, for that matter.
"What do you want?" he growled, rolling over in bed so he could ignore the chipper brunet only to be faced with the even perkier sensation, Demyx. Great. This day could just not possibly get any better. The mohawked man had decided to tastefully not gel his hair, and it was left falling naturally to the side. "For the love of God, leave me alone…"
"No-can-do, brah," Demyx said, waving a finger back and forth. "You've passed the five day rule." Five days? "It's time for you to get out of bed and face life again."
Life after Namine. It was kind of weird to think about. Even more horrifying to think about was that he had skipped an entire week of school. He knew he had an exam on Friday because next week was the Thanksgiving holidays.
"Crap! My cell phone!" Roxas cried out, suddenly sitting straight up in bed and turning to Sora. "Did Mom or Dad call? Are they making us visit? Augh, I probably have to call them…" So far, Roxas hadn't even thought about telling his parents what had happened. They loved Namine to death and would probably blame him for the break-up.
"We're going upstate to visit them, as always," Sora replied with a shrug. "I already told them about the divorce. They were cool about it, I guess. I got like a five-minute lecture from Dad about the importance of marriage and monogamy. Five minutes. I think he set a record." Sora laughed to try and lighten the mood, but seeing Roxas' wearied expression brought him down a few pegs.
"Did you say anything… about…"
Sora shook his head. "Nah, I figured it should come from you and not me. But I'm sure you'll be okay. At least you never actually got married, so hopefully dad will spare you."
Another nail was driven into Roxas' heart. He looked at the brunet with the most anguished and grieving watery eyes he thought he'd ever had. His brother had become a much cooler person in the past few weeks. He remembered when he used to wear khakis and collared shirts, and now here he was standing next to Demyx as if he were a punk like him. He wore tight fitting jeans and a black metal band tour shirt that looked similar to the one Axel had let Roxas borrow, but he'd never returned it. "…I don't feel like I ever will, at this point."
"Ah, don't be that way," Demyx cooed, holding up a glass bottle and a plastic grocery bag filled with limes and a bag of salt. "There're plenty of other girls out there. And we've got a bottle of tequila and a whole weekend to trash-talk every last stinkin' one of them."
"And right after that we have to move out the furniture Namine bought," Sora added quickly. "By the way, can I crash here a few days?" he asked. Roxas glared at him. "I'm letting Kairi keep the lease on the apartment, and Nami's moving in while she's, uh… having the baby." It seemed like such a taboo topic now that they were split up. Roxas was still having a hard time imagining it. There was life growing inside her. In nine months she was going to be a mother. He couldn't fathom how she must be feeling right now.
"I'll help move," Roxas sighed. "I want to help. Even if the baby isn't mine…" The words were becoming difficult to say. The tears kept on building up behind Roxas' eyes. "…I want what's best for it." Now that they were on the topic of moving furniture, Roxas looked around his own apartment and realized that he wouldn't be able to keep it anymore without Namine's financial help. He wasn't even sure he'd want to stay there anymore. Feeling the worst he had ever felt in his entire life, especially with current company included, this had to be what in meant to hit rock bottom.
Roxas glared at the two men that were standing in front of him, both with cheesy grins plastered on their faces. He would force himself to be a lot angrier if it weren't for the fact that they were there with the sole purpose of making him feel better. The bottle Demyx was waving in his hands was looking awfully amazing right now.
"Whatever," Roxas sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and blinking his forming tears away. "Give me that fucking bottle."
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
At some point during the night Demyx had stumbled out to his car to bring back a huge binder that held one thousand CDs which he kept in the back seat. After countless minutes and drunken squabbles, they finally decided on an unlabeled mix. Popping the CD into the stereo, which thankfully belonged to Roxas, Demyx started flailing his arms when the first song started playing.
"Holy shit I love this CD!" he crowed, standing up and almost knocking the television off its stand. "C'mon, Rox, sing with me!"
Roxas shook his head and stayed in his seat on the floor, leaning against the coffee table with a shot glass in one hand and a quarter-full bottle of tequila in the other. "Nah, I don't sing," he was somehow able to communicate in a flurry of slurs and hiccups.
"Yeah you do!" Sora added, playfully slugging his brother in the shoulder. "This kid, this kid! You shoulda seen him in high school, he was like the best choir kid ever!"
Demyx laughed while banging his head to the rhythm of the song. "I know. You like, wouldn't shut up about it."
Sora gasped and covered his mouth. "Oh my God it's fucking true though!" He turned to his brother and smiled widely. "So c'mon, Roxy. Why don't you ever sing anymore? You've got such a nice voice." For a moment Sora channeled their mother when she first found out Roxas didn't want to retake choir his senior year of high school. Come to think of it, he stopped singing around the time he and Namine started dating.
"I'm not gonna sing. I'm not drunk enough yet," he muttered. Sora clapped his hands and started pouring Roxas another shot, although most of the tequila ended up splattering on the coffee table and up the blond's arm. Roxas didn't seem to mind as knocked his glass back, letting the drink fall back in his throat without having to taste the worst of it. At this point it didn't matter, Roxas was too hammered to taste a goddamn thing. Sora shook his head and patted him on the shoulder
"H'okay, if you won't then I'll shoulder the burden" Sora grunted, trying to stand up. "Here I go." Just in time for the chorus, Sora found his footing and started screaming.
"Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning, blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh, this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline!"
Roxas egged his brother on by clapping and laughing drunkenly loud while Demyx joined in, "It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it and I! FEEL! FINE!"
Nobody remembered the lyrics to the rest of the song, but that was okay. A song Roxas wasn't familiar with started playing, but Sora and Demyx seemed well acquainted with it. Sora was sitting on the couch, taking a breather, and Demyx sat on the floor beside him, head leaning back against Sora's leg as he smiled up at him. "Remember this one?"
Sora closed his eyes and smiled. "Sophomore year. That was a good mix." When the singing started they both spoke along with the lyrics. Roxas watched as his brother idly played with the punk's hair.
"The good intentions that you had, now only came to this. And although she saw the mark, the arrow missed…"
The pace started picking up and the boys started singing along louder. "And now I realize, I should have kissed you in L.A. But I drove home all alone. As if I had a choice, anyway. Where are you coming from? What are you running from? Is it so hard to see? And if you're feeling scared, remember the time we shared. You know it meant everything- everything. You know that it meant everything to me."
Roxas listened to the song and tried to pin a face to it. At the beginning he was only thinking about Namine, but near the end, the only person on his mind was Axel. Another song started play. Something… kinda slow and melancholy. Solo piano and vocals. It sounded like something his mom would listen to in the car when he was young. It took a moment for Roxas to pin it.
"You seriously put this on a mix?" he asked. The punk raised his head and pointed an accusatory finger.
"Silence, traitor. You don't get to diss the classics, 'aight?"
To Roxas' amusement and horror, Sora started singing along. Off-key and shouting, "All by myself~ Don't wanna be all by myyYYYYself anymore~!"
"Definitely not drunk enough for this," Roxas mumbled, taking a chug straight from the bottle. There was almost nothing left when he placed it back down on the coffee table. He didn't know whether to be impressed or worried. Sora was moving across the room and doing power-ballad stances. Even Demyx was sing along, a little quieter, but he helped out by playing air-piano backup. Sora approached Roxas and wrapped his arm around him, passing off the television's remote control as an imaginary microphone just in time for the big crescendo.
Roxas breathed in heavily and belted, "All by myself, don't wanna be- All by myself, ANYMO~ORE!"
It came to Sora's attention halfway through Roxas' diva moment that Demyx had never actually heard his brother sing before. The kid had pipes. The punk was so blown away by it, the way Roxas was able to reach those impossible notes, that the older boy found himself on the floor bowing at the blond's feet.
"We're not worthy!" Demyx cried. "Dude, that was fucking nonsense! Fuck that, brah, when did you fucking learn how to do that?" He stood up and socked Roxas in the shoulder. "You'd give Axel a run for his money!"
Panting slightly, it had been a while since he sang like that and his vocal chords weren't entirely used to the strain, Roxas sighed and tried not to frown. "…Nah, I mean. Axel's way too good, I couldn't…"
Like a bolt of lightning striking earth, that's when Demyx knew. It was such a quick, small telling gesture, when Roxas looked to the side, when his pupils dilated a fraction of a millimeter, when his breath hitched and shook when he complimented the redheaded punk. Demyx slowly nodded his head in understanding. Apparently there was a lot more to Roxas and Namine's breakup than he or Sora knew.
Demyx just smiled and picked the bottle of tequila up from the coffee table and swirled it around. "I think we've got enough for one last shot." He gathered the three shot glasses that had tumbled on their sides throughout the night and stood them up properly, pouring a little bit in each glass before passing one each off to the brothers.
"Gather 'round, losers! We've gotta finish this right!" he announced as Sora and Roxas held their glasses forward with shaky arms. "A toast! To new beginnings!"
"To old friends," added Sora, clinking his glass against Demyx's too hard and causing more the half of the punk's drink to spill. The older man didn't even seem to take notice.
"To love!" Roxas nearly shouted.
"To Axel Rose!" Demyx hollered. He winked at Roxas but even though the younger boy blushed he doubted he would remember in the morning.
"To Riku Kuroyama!" Sora yelled, voice hoarse from singing all night.
"To 13 Hearts!" Demyx added.
"To Nami's baby!" Roxas slurred.
"And to the father's good health," Demyx muttered. "Wherever that fucker may be…"
"Not to Hayner Marshall," Roxas said with a low growl.
"To a good Thanksgiving!" Sora added louder, trying to come up with more things to toast in his blacked-out state and automatically making Roxas completely forget about his Hayner trouble.
"To Mom and Dad!" Roxas furthered.
"A legacy, the mighty Strifes!" Demyx howled. "I'd like to shake the hands of the people who put the kidnappers of my friend's hearts on this earth…"
"Kidnappers? What the fuck did Rox ever steal?" Sora asked with a chuckle, thrusting a thumb in his brother's direction.
"The one and only Lea Paul," Demyx responded, using a gruff voice as if he were a gladiator. Roxas immediately felt uncomfortable. So Demyx did know.
Sora's jaw dropped and turned into a large grin, lowering his shot glass. "Holy shit, Roxas! Why didn't you say anything!? You little shit, making me feel bad because of Riku." He raised his brow in delight as he sucked on a slice of lime. "Mom and Dad are gonna love that you dumped Nami for some rock star tail!"
"You're one to talk. At least I didn't break up a band and ruin someone's life!" For some reason, the boys couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. What was it about the band members that made the brothers fall for them? With the stress on top of the alcohol it really shouldn't be surprising that Roxas was having a very difficult time caring at the moment.
"How did you even find out about all that shit with Riku, anyway?" Sora asked, unable to wipe the grin off his face. He gasped and pointed to the punk across the table. "It was you, wasn't it?!"
Demyx held his shot glass up. "Guys! We're getting distracted! Bottoms up! Cheers!"
"Cheers!"
The three boys knocked back and finished their shots for the night. Sora was still pointing at Demyx and the punk rolled his eyes and slapped it away. "No. I don't go instigating shit like you do."
"I'm not initiating… investigating… inebriating…"
"Instigating," the punk helped.
"I'm not instigating shit," Sora finally declared, turning to Roxas. "I bet Axel said something." It wasn't completely untrue, and while Roxas a pretty hammered he wasn't completely ready to admit to his brother that he went all the way out to the harbor and stalked his old flame.
"Yeah, and he told me his side of the story about all the shit you pulled, Sor'," Roxas stated, pointing to the brunet. "You just don't do that to people, y'know? You just don't. You just don't do that."
Roxas could have drawled on for hours if Demyx didn't interrupt him.
"Last I heard he was still at the harbor," the punk mused. That immediately caught Sora's attention.
"He's still in the harbor?" He suddenly stood up, banging his knees on the underside of the coffee table. Demyx and Roxas laughed heartily at the brunet's expense. "Dude, guys, perfect idea! Right now! Let's go to the harbor!"
"Now?"
"It's like three in the morning, brah," Demyx noted, pointing to the clock on the entertainment center.
"So? Who gives a shit! C'mon, it'll be an adventure!" He stumbled over to the wall with the key hooks and took Roxas' keys off, tossing them towards the blond. In his drunken state, he missed by a mile and ended up throwing them into the kitchen entrance instead. "Let's go! One-two!"
"It's somebody's bedtime," Demyx sighed, standing up and deciding to take initiative over babysitting the drunk brunet. The way he went about it made it seem like this wasn't Demyx's first time doing this for Sora. While Roxas had never really seen the punk imbibe, he'd also never seen him trashed. For how clumsy the older boy was sober, he seemed only more graceful and steeled after drinking. Demyx walked over to Sora and slowly guided him to Roxas' bedroom. The blond stood and followed, watching as Demyx intentionally tripped Sora so that he fell on the bed. Before he left the room, he made sure the brunet was laying on his side. "Are you going to bed, too?"
"There's not much else to do," Roxas said with a shrug, walking to his side of the king-sized bed. Without changing clothes or even removing his socks, he rolled under the covers and buried his face into his pillow. "You're staying, right?" He was at least cognizant enough to know no matter how sober Demyx looked that the punk shouldn't be out on the streets at night drunk and alone. The man seemed to catch on to his concern and nodded.
"I'll crash on the couch, if that's fine."
Roxas turned in bed so he wasn't facing the light from the open door into the living room, mumbling something that sounded like "Whatever" to the punk. Demyx smiled and saw himself out, all but collapsing on the couch to the tunes of Tattooed Love Boys playing the stereo.
While lying in bed, trying to fall asleep despite his brother's loud snoring, Roxas had a hard time getting comfortable because he never emptied his pockets. He reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cell phone. Suddenly, he had the most crazy-awesome idea that any human being could have ever had, ever. This was Ben Franklin and his thunderstorm kite huge. This was Galileo and his telescope. On par with DaVinci and his paintings!
Somehow Roxas was able to open up his contact list and started to text Axel. He was going to tell him everything, from how he didn't mean to run off that morning all the way to the divorce. And if he hadn't reached the character limit, perhaps a choice four-letter word. Typing with the keypad was proving to be more difficult that Roxas had reckoned, but he got his message across. Pressing the send button, he immediately fell asleep with a large grin on his face.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
Axel snorted slightly when his phone made an abrupt, ear shattering tri-tone from the bedside table next to his head. Reaching out blindly, using the blurred lights that were coming from the face of his phone as a guide, he was able to grab it and flip his phone open to read his new message.
"Whuzza fuck is… Roxas?"
"Ia sokfd w 62mind/ no wdf3336g. c1l5 md3333."
"…Wha…"
Once his eyes adjusted to the bright light of the screen, he frowned. Axel still hadn't forgiven Roxas for walking out without saying anything. Along with stealing his precious feelings the blond was also stealing his precious sleep. The punk grunted, deciding to take matters into his own hands.
Contacts – Roxas Strife – Edit – Delete – Deletion is permanent. Are you Sure? – [Yes] [No]
Axel hesitated, maybe for a moment, but really what was the payoff here? He wasn't the love-at-first-sight type, and it was a stupid mistake to let his heart dictate decisions that his head had very clear opinions about. Roxas was a closet case. A lost cause. Definitely not worth his time anymore.
[Yes]
He snapped his cell phone shut and tossed it across the room, hearing it thud softly on a stack of papers. Moments later he drifted back into sleep with a frown on his face and a crease in his brow.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
"Roxas! Sora! Oh, welcome home," Aerith said, all but sparkling with her hands folded in front of her.
The brothers smiled, walking inside their childhood home, each stopping to give their mother a kiss on the cheek. Roxas took a moment to look at his mother's retreating figure as she walked back into the kitchen, wiping her hands on her pink apron. He remembered how she used to be so tall and skinny, but that was because she was so young. Now that she was past forty, her hips and thighs started to take on weight and her once bouncy brunet hair was starting to get weighed down with streaks of gray. She still refused to cut her long hair that she had in a long French braid, complete with the large pink ribbon that he swore she had been using since the eighties. Even her smile was starting to form small wrinkles, but those were laugh lines that made her seem like she was happy all the time.
"Hey mom," Sora said cheerfully, walking around her and taking a brief glimpse at all the fall-time decorations of their house. "Happy Thanksgiving. Where's dad?"
She sighed warmly and pointed towards the den. "The game's going to start soon. Roxas, will you help set the table?" Being the youngest automatically meant that Roxas was entitled to the chores of the family bitch. Whenever the lawn needed raking, or the windows needed washing, or the table needed setting, Roxas was stuck doing the chores while his brother was doing homework. Needless to say, it was obvious why more than just a simple glimpse in the brunet's former love life made Roxas want to punch him in the face. The little snot was out partying and causing riots while their parents thought he was being a good student. At least now Roxas had some blackmail material. It was such a shame that the bruise and cut on Sora's face had already healed. He'd like to see his brother talk his way out of that one.
Roxas found that setting the table wasn't nearly as horrible of a task that he remembered it to be when he was thirteen. Within two minutes he was finished, poking his head back into the kitchen. "Do you need anything else, mom?" he asked, just to make sure.
The woman turned over her shoulder and shook her head. "Go have fun," she replied with her always charming smile. Roxas nodded and grinned, stepping away from the kitchen entrance to the other part of the room. He could already hear his brother yapping up a storm to his father.
Entering the den, Cloud was sitting on his chair, reclined with the footrests up and a can of Dr. Pepper in a coozie resting on the carpet next to him. "Hey Pops," Roxas said, announcing his entrance as he took a spot on the couch to watch the opening ceremonies to the blitzball game on television. His father took a moment to look at him and nodded, which would probably be the most he would hear from him all day.
"Who's playing?" Roxas asked, never really as good on keeping up with sports stats like his brother was.
"Orcas versus Anglers. It's no competition." Sora had always been an Orcas fan. Even their dad was using an Orcas coozie for his soda.
Roxas turned to his dad. "So, how're things, Pops?" He really hated how he didn't talk to his parents like he should. Cloud raised his brows lazily and turned to his son.
"Not bad. Work's getting harder. Can't move my damn legs like I used to." To emphasize, he reached forward and knocked on his kneecap. "Forty's the new thirty my ass." His dad had been a deliveryman for FedEx for the past twenty years of his life, or at least as long as Roxas could remember. He refused to have an office job because he liked being outside and driving around Bastion's fresh air. However, years of heavy lifting and backbreaking labor were starting to have negative effects on his body.
Roxas settled down and took a moment to watch the athletes dive into the large pool. The National Blitzball Association theme played loudly as the feed cut to commercial. Cloud grunted as he lowered the footrest and swung out of his chair, going into the kitchen to get another soda. "Oh, Roxas, I forgot to mention I'm surprised that you decided to come with us for Thanksgiving. I thought you would be spending it with Namine and her family," Aerith called from the kitchen. She stepped out to lean against the entryway to the den and look at him with a hint of motherly concern. "Does this mean you'll be spending Christmas with the Gibson's?"
Roxas paused, looking to his brother for some sort of advice. The brunet just shrugged and mouthed 'tell them' while his back was turned to their mother. The blond sighed and stood up. "Actually, I want to talk to you both for a moment." He definitely didn't want his brother listening in on this conversation. "Maybe in private. Uh… The study?"
Aerith nodded curiously and walked quickly to the back room of the house. His father blinked and sighed, hoping that whatever he had to say would be done before the commercials were over. Roxas was last in line and shut the door after his parents were in the backroom, taking seats on computer chairs. Roxas pulled up a dusty old lounge seat and sat down with them.
"Are you and Namine fighting?" Aerith asked, holding a hand to her chest and fearing the absolute worst. Roxas took a deep breath and shook his head.
"I hope this doesn't come as too big of a shock to you guys, but… the wedding's off. Namine, she called it off."
Not taking a terribly long time to digest the information, Cloud raised a brow and commented, "You too?" Roxas nodded, feeling ashamed, and looked towards his mother to gauge her reaction. She was staring blankly at the carpet by Roxas' feet, not saying anything.
"…She, uh, moved out about a week ago. Picked up her things last weekend," Roxas added, deciding to leave out the fact that Namine was pregnant. This was a big enough crisis as it was. "I put in my notice to the apartment and I'm probably going to move in with Sora somewhere. We haven't really picked a place, but somewhere cheap, y'know?"
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" his mother asked, a very palpable sound of shock in her tone.
"I didn't… know what to say." Roxas could feel his voice shake, and almost choked when trying to swallow his nerves. "Things have been really hard."
After another brief moment of silence, filled only by the hum of the computer beside them, Aerith finally spoke up. "That…" she stated, continuing her gaze on the floor, "…might be fun. Moving in with Sora…" Her inflection sounded like she was forcing herself to be optimistic. It was just like her to try and see the silver lining of every cloud. "I remember when you were children you would always sneak into each other's rooms and build forts while we were sleeping. We would wake up and find you passed out together on a pile of couch cushions and old bed sheets."
Roxas shook his head and laughed slightly. "Well, I doubt we'd do anything like that, but it seems like it might be okay." After finding out about Sora's past, Roxas was worried that his brother would become estranged and continue to lie to him. However once Roxas came out and told Sora that he knew his big secret, the brunet acted as if he had nothing to hide. His life became an open book and Roxas felt like he had a good enough grasp that Sora was the sort of brother that really makes a family strong.
"You do know, right?" Cloud asked, scratching his chin and looking slightly embarrassed. It wasn't an expression he wore well. "About… you know…"
"Honey, Sora talked to you about being gay and all, right?" Aerith reiterated.
Roxas sat in his seat, flabbergasted being an appropriate emotion at the moment. "Wait, what? You knew?"
Aerith laughed hesitantly and glanced to her husband. "Well, of course, pumpkin. He listened to Rufus Wainwright and had a poster of Freddie Mercury on his wall."
Roxas let out a loud groan, leaning down and burying his face in his hands. "That was me, mom."
"Oh." She delicately covered her mouth with her hand and brushed off her mistake. "Well, I'm sure there was something that set off warning bells. He was always hanging around that Skönstedt boy. I'm pretty sure I heard them fooling around in his bedroom, once." The way his mother was saying this so matter-of-factly made Roxas want to curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this situation completely. And the idea that Sora was with Demyx, of all people. He assumed at this point he shouldn't be surprised. He just found it interesting that they were still such close friends after possibly having sex. He hoped he could still have a relationship with Namine like that after the storm settled.
"God this is so embarrassing," Roxas muttered.
"You know there's nothing wrong about it, right?" Cloud asked, still sitting slouched in his seat.
Aerith nodded vigorously by his side. "Absolutely! We didn't bring you up to be a bigot, Roxas."
Roxas cringed at the word. "I know, mom, jeez. Trust me, I'm not."
"I mean, look at your father."
He blinked and looked at his dad. His eyes were wide and terrified, and his cheeks were a flustered shade of pink. Cloud never blushed. Ever. Roxas was able to put the puzzle pieces together lightning quick and his jaw dropped in appalling horror. "Oh my God!"
"It's perfectly normal!" Aerith stated, and Roxas could tell she was about to start on a long tangent before Cloud interrupted her.
"He doesn't need to know this," he muttered, turning to glare at his wife.
"Sweetie, it's okay, we shouldn't be keeping secrets in this family," she assured, giving her husband a reaffirming squeeze of his hand. "Why, when your father first started working at the delivery company there was his supervisor, Zack. And then-"
"There was more?" Roxas cried. He remembered Zack when he was a kid and the man would sometimes eat dinner with them after he dropped his dad off from work.
"There was your father's old boss, the second one with the long hair… What was his name?"
Roxas' face paled. "…Mister Sephiroth?"
Aerith clapped her hands together happily. "Of course! How could I forget? Well, that affair ended pretty quickly, I suppose," she sighed. Roxas was still staring into the middle distance, in shock. Mister Sephiroth was the cool boss. He was the one that always bought Sora and Roxas snow cones while his dad was in business meetings. Now he was starting to wonder what those meetings really were. He was beginning to second-guess every happy childhood memory!
Chancing a glance at his father, the blond decided that there was no way his old man could ever look more humiliated. Roxas couldn't imagine the thought of his dad and Zack gyrating against each other in some musty stock room. And it took the assertion of a saint to keep his mind from wandering over to what his dad and his old boss used to do behind closed doors.
"I don't get it," Roxas grumbled, looking at his mom. "How can you be so normal about this?"
"If it were anybody else, of course I'd be a little upset, but I love your father. And it wasn't like I didn't live out some of the college fantasies with Quistis."
"Aunty Quistis!?" Roxas wailed, although she actually wasn't an aunt at all, but rather his godmother.
"You see, honey," she began, once against bringing to focus her husband's hand she held tightly with her own, "love isn't about sex, and sex isn't about love." That seemed to go against everything he was taught in sex ed. at school. "We were safe about it, and acted like adults when it was over." She paused to give Roxas a serious stare. "Have you been faithful to Namine the entire time you were together?"
"…No," Roxas sighed, hanging his head in shame. "It wasn't the reason for the split, she just… kind of found someone else she liked more… and maybe I found someone I liked more, too."
There was a long pause where nothing was said, and the silence was killing Roxas. It was bad enough that his wedding that was supposed to be in half a month was cancelled, but now there was someone else.
"What's his name?"
It surprised Roxas when he heard his dad ask. He looked up at his always stern face and gulped. "H-how did you know?"
"We're your parents," Aerith answered with a smile. Almost instantly her smile crashed and burned and she stood up quickly, holding her hand up to her mouth with a gasp. "Oh no, the turkey!" Before she left the office to return to the kitchen she turned back to her son. "Roxas, I know you might think things are tough right now, but you'll get through them. I'll call the family and hope it's not too late for them to cancel their flights. Things will look up, sweetie."
Roxas and Cloud followed closely behind. Roxas stopped when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder. "That stuff was all… a very long time ago. You don't have to mention it to anybody."
Roxas rolled his eyes and smiled. "I was sort of planning to never think about it ever again."
For a brief moment, Cloud smirked and patted his son's back. "Atta boy."
The turkey was saved, and dinner was a success. The Orcas won the game. After helping with the dishes, Sora and Roxas threw the blitzball in the backyard while Dad slept on his recliner and Mom snoozed on the couched.
"So what did Pops say to you back there?" Sora asked as he threw the ball to his brother on the opposite side of the yard. "You guys were back there an awful long time. He missed the opening blitz."
Roxas sighed. "I told them about the wedding. Mom said she'd try and take care of it. Since the Gibson's were taking care of all the logistics with the location and food, I'm guessing they're handling that. I haven't really heard anything for anybody. It's sorta surreal."
"I talked with Kairi about it the other day. From what I hear everything's been called off from the caterers to the chapel."
Roxas paused a moment before throwing the ball back. "…So how's Nami doing?"
"Good, good," Sora sighed, grunting when he caught the ball. "I haven't really seen her, but Kairi said they've been going to the doctor. Her parents know and they're upset, of course, but they're supporting her decision. She's living with Kairi, and they seem kind of happy right now. Kairi's trying to stay optimistic since Nami's kind of a hormonal wreck."
Roxas sighed and caught the ball, holding it limply in his hands. "What if this is all my fault. What if the kid really is mine?"
"Hey, brah, don't sweat it. Namine's in a rough place right now. It'll probably be for everyone's greater good if you just give her the space. If it is yours, we'll embrace it when the time comes." Roxas looked up at Sora, hands looped boyishly in his pockets and a confidently smile on his face. For once in a long while, he felt proud to have him as his brother. "Things will look up, Roxas."
The blond smiled, lifting up the blitzball and tossing it back to him. "Thanks…"
After minutes passed of throwing the blitzball in silence, Sora started chuckling as he flung it to Roxas. "So, did Mom tell you how Pops used to boink Mister Sephiroth?"
Roxas shouted and starting cursing at his brother, managing to bean him on the head when he threw the blitzball across the yard. Sora yelled and chased his brother across the lawn until he finally tackled him and forced his face into the dirt.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
As soon as the introduction to the holiday season was over, Roxas and Sora made their way back to the blond's apartment. Roxas started diving back into his books. When school started up again after the short break, he explained to his professors why he was absent. They all agreed to not let the week he was gone count against him, but stressed the importance of excelling on all his finals.
Roxas locked himself in his bedroom while letting Sora have free reign over the living room. Using what rare free time he did have between going to classes and studying, he would branch out into the living room and practice guitar while Sora watched television.
Sora started clapping softly after Roxas finished strumming a tune he had made up in the moment. "You're starting to get really handy with that," Sora said happily. "But shouldn't you be studying right now?" The brunet had been bugging Roxas about his finals, even helping his younger brother with studying during dead week. Roxas was surprised by his brother's helpful study tips and wondered where on earth he learned them from. However with it being the day before final exams, Roxas was beginning to find himself burning out fast.
"I'll be okay," he sighed, feeling like a sponge that had soaked up as much as it could. "If I haven't already learned it by now there's no way I could know it by tomorrow." He stood up and stretched, popping his knuckles and back. "I need some coffee. Do you want anything from downstairs?"
"Something hot. It's cold out today," Sora said, turning the volume up on the TV now that Roxas was done practicing guitar. Roxas slipped on his heavy coat, not bothering to wrap himself in a scarf since he was only going to the Twilight Town Café under his building. He reached inside and waited in the long line of half-dead students that needed a caffeine fix. After he placed his order, he walked over to the condiments counter to get lids and napkins before he walked back upstairs.
While he waited for his drinks to be finished, he sighed and leaned against the counter, looking at all the people that were in the coffee house that afternoon. His sweeping gaze came to a screeching halt when he saw Namine sitting at one of the tables by the front windows, idly reading a newspaper that had been abandoned there. There was something about her that seemed very different from when he last saw her when she kissed him goodbye. She had a small smile on her face and was softly rubbing her stomach under the layers of her jacket. Her whole body seemed to be radiant with that motherly glow he had always heard about.
Without thinking twice, he walked over to her table, gripping the back of the empty chair across from her and gaining her attention. "…Hi," he said, looking into her big, blueberry eyes he hadn't seen in over two weeks. She seemed to grow a sad look on her face, but kept on smiling with her glittering pearly whites. "Do you mind if I sit here?"
She blinked and looked around the café, quickly sitting up straighter and moving some of the newspaper out of the way. "Uh, yeah, sure." Roxas pulled out the chair and took a seat at the small table. Namine looked like she was about to cry. "I'm so sorry, Roxas."
"Hey, it's okay. Don't feel bad. I would have been a pretty crappy husband, anyway."
Roxas could barely look at her as the tears started welling up in her eyes. "You don't have to act so tough, Roxas. I was terrible to you. I would have been a horrible wife…"
"Namine, it's fine. Really. We'll both be better people because of it." She looked up at him, smiling widely and started laughing.
"Oh my God, will you look at me? I'm a mess!" She wiped her tears off on her long, white scarf, not worrying that her eyeliner and mascara were being spread on it. "How are things going with you right now?"
Roxas nodded along. "I can't complain. I have Sora living with me right now, and we're going to look for a place once tests are over."
"But the lease doesn't expire until summer," Namine reminded, looking concerned. "Won't it cost a lot of money to bail out early?"
"I know the apartment will charge something for leaving before the contract's over, but Sora agreed to help split with that-"
"Oh, he shouldn't, let me pay for it. It's the least I could do after leaving the way I did."
"No, you already have enough to worry about as it is," Roxas stated firmly. Namine looked down and bit her lip. "…How is it, anyway?"
"It's doing great, actually," she sighed, bringing her hands down around her stomach. "We won't find out until about a month yet whether it's a boy or girl… And, well, who the father is…"
"Namine, you've been really secretive about the man you were with. I promise I won't be upset with you at all, I just want… I need to know. You understand, right?" He had to know once and for all. The earlier he found out the sooner he could untie the nervous knot in his stomach, and he was sure Namine would feel better if this little secret she was carrying was made known. He had also been going out of his way to not talk to Hayner, and his friend seemed to be staying distant as well. Normally Hayner would have been the first person he would tell about the wedding, but every time he picked up his cell to call him he froze.
Namine didn't say anything for a long while. She kept glancing over Roxas' shoulder and finally she let out a long sigh. "…Promise you won't get mad?"
"Of course I promise. I mean, because I haven't talked to him in a really long time and I really want to get the record straight."
"You haven't talked to whom?"
"Oh, well… Hayner." The look on Namine's face was some sort of contorted expression and borderline nausea. Roxas briefly wondered if he should find a trash bin if she was going through morning sickness again. "Was he-"
"Oh my God!" Namine cried, causing attention from the tables around them. Roxas glanced at them nervously and turned his attention back to his ex-fiancée. "Hayner Marshall? Oh, no offense honey, but ew."
Roxas felt relieved at least. Namine's feelings towards Hayner were always made fairly obvious, but he was the last person he could think of when Namine said that this mystery man was somebody Roxas knew. Who else did Roxas know that could have possibly been her lover?
"Nami, is everything alright?"
That voice. The oddly familiar but distorted one on the message left on Namine's cell phone the night before they broke up. Roxas definitely knew who this was now, but he didn't believe it. He looked over his shoulder and saw him standing with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Somewhere in the crowd of bustling college students he had been completely lost when Roxas first walked into the café, but there he stood beside him. 13 Hearts' glitzy, cross-dressing, make-up wearing drummer, Marluxia.
Roxas stared at him for a very long time. It must have been a whole minute. The musician coughed nervously and shifted his weight before walking to the other side of the table, placing their drinks on top of the newspaper. He took an empty chair from a neighboring table and took a seat next to Namine.
"…Nami…" Roxas said slowly, still completely stunned. The embarrassed look on her face told stories. "What is he doing here?"
Namine took a deep breath and shifted slightly closer to the drummer. "Well… before Tifa had ever given me the card to one of 13 Hearts' shows, I met Marluxia and Luxord by chance when they visited my art class. The two of them are running a gallery called 'Radiant Garden' for students in the studio art department, and Marluxia said I had real talent." For a moment, Roxas was insanely jealous that Marluxia got to see her paintings. Not only did he get to see her paintings, he got to work in a studio that would showcase her work. "I had no idea that he played in the same band I wanted to play the reception. I ended up having to do my own research because Marluxia never seemed to talk about the band."
Roxas was livid. 13 Hearts knew he was engaged to Namine Gibson. Marluxia had deliberately gone behind his back lied to Namine in order to keep seeing her, but she still remained with him.
"Roxas, I'm really sorry," Marluxia said. He wasn't making eye contact with Roxas, but it was because he was so ashamed. "It was my fault, completely my fault. I fell in love with Namine and she wanted to cut things off but I didn't want her to. I'm willing to take care of the baby. I'm completely capable."
"You already have another kid," Roxas stated, his words heavy as he alluded to Larxene's child. "How could you have done this to Namine? You of all people should have known better."
"Roxas it's okay, really," Namine reassured. "You know I've always wanted a kid. I'll admit it's a little sooner that I would have liked… And maybe not the circumstances I imagined… But I fully trust Marluxia to help raise the child."
It just… wasn't fair. Roxas would have liked to help, too. However he knew absolutely nothing about kids. The thought of having a small human that was completely his responsibility was bone chilling. "How do you plan on taking care of it? Being a rock star isn't the best for children." He wondered how many other women the drummer had planted his seed in.
"That's simple. I quit the band."
The blond's eyes widened so much they could have popped out of his skull. "You did what?!" That was even worse than knocking Namine up. A drummer was absolutely essential for a rock band like 13 Hearts. Especially since Marluxia was one of the founding members. He gave blowjobs in exchange for lessons! Even though Roxas still found that gross, that meant that Marluxia at least had extreme dedication. "You can't do that!"
Roxas didn't know what he was expecting. He would much rather have Marluxia be in a band and helping Namine than doing the same without the band at all. "The band wasn't my full-time obsession the way it is with Axe. I can't do the things they expect from me, and run the gallery, and spend time with my son. Have you even talked to them recently?" Marluxia asked. Roxas suddenly remembered another reason to be scared of the drummer. He probably knew every dirty little secret about him and Axel, and he would tell Namine.
"I- well, no. Not really. I've been busy with exams," Roxas mumbled. Along with moving out of the apartment, he was much too busy to spend late nights like he had weeks earlier. Since Axel wasn't making any move to contact him, he figured the singer didn't care anymore. The more Roxas thought about it, the more he realized he only knew the punk for a few weeks. It was stupid of him to think that anything could have come from their meeting.
"Maybe you should," Marluxia said casually with a shrug. "Axel's been living in distraction for a while, now. The guy's lost. I think he's going to run away."
The way Marluxia talked about it, he sounded like a concerned friend not only for Axel but for Roxas as well. Marluxia may have gone behind his back, but Roxas had done the exact same thing. The only difference between the two of them was that Marluxia wanted what was right for everyone. Roxas gulped and looked to Namine, who was smiling warmly and nodding her head.
"Roxas, it's okay. He told me. It's perfectly okay."
Of course Marluxia would have told her everything. Of course Namine would be perfectly fine with it, just like everyone else he knew was perfectly okay with it. There was nobody standing in his way except for himself, and for the first time in a very long time Roxas finally saw the light and realized what an idiot he had always been.
"Order up! Strife!" the barista called from behind the counter. Roxas looked towards the barista who seemed impatient, looking around for the customer who ordered the drinks.
"I have to get that," Roxas mumbled. He looked towards Marluxia and Namine and realized how perfect they looked together, both bundled up with Marluxia in his brown tweed coat and Namine in her off-white pea coat and pale blue scarf. For the first time in what had seemed like months, she seemed genuinely happy. "If you guys ever need anything, ever. I mean it. Just give me a call. I want to know everything about this baby from the first kick to when the water breaks."
Namine's face flushed and she laughed nervously. "O-of course."
Roxas nodded firmly, giving them a sincere smile before taking his and Sora's drinks and leaving. After this chance encounter, he felt like he didn't have anything left holding him back. He could finally go out and accomplish everything he had ever meant to achieve with the wind to his back. He decided that as soon as possible, he would visit Axel and tell him everything, and all his feelings for him.
Well, there was one thing holding him back. All of his dreams would have to be put on hold until after final exams were over.
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godgodgodGOD this took SO LONG. I edited so much from this chapter, more than any other chapter posted so far. Completely rewrote most of Roxas and Namine's talk in the first part of the chapter. Originally Roxas said something really, really rude to her that never really sat well with me in all my personal rereads, so I finally decided to change it.
In the break between writing this story and now, I thought a lot about subtle nuances of characters, or broad spectrums of certain characters and how I could sorta nudge them into the story more. I was really into the idea of canon-Namine being a witch that transformed people's memories. So in Ballad, she feels really guilty because she believe the way she acted around Roxas in high school changed and affected him in a possibly negative, or untrue to what she sees as Roxas true self, way. To be fair, it's impossible to interact with anybody and not make some sort of impression that changes them for better or worse. Namine feels that the way she changed Roxas wasn't in a better way, and also feels the way Roxas changed her was in a negative way as well. I'm still struggling with the "show don't tell" aspect of this story and how much I should show, and how much I should tell. I know exactly how Nami and Marluxia's relationship happened, what she felt, and what he feels about her. They're both pretty early in their relationship, but they see a lot of potential for positive growth, and they want to see where that takes them. (I took a lot of psych electives with a focus on relationships in college T_T;;)
Changed the songs and rewrote a lot of the tequila night part of the chapter too. Most of it should be fairly obvious, but the songs they listened to were "End of the World" by REM, "Apple Shampoo" by Blink182, and "All By Myself" by Celine Dion. My mom had that Celine Dion CD in her car and would listen to it unironically (although would usually skip this song because let's agree, it's ridiculous). Demyx's taste is kind of all over the place. He likes 80s nuwave, but definitely has a soft spot for mid-90s grunge/pop/alt/radio hits.
Okay, so I sent an email to my old beta asking if she wants the position back. She's currently on vacation so I don't know when I'll hear back from her. People who want to potentially help with beta duties, keep an eye out here because hopefully I'll know by next week whether she's in or out and I'll make an announcement in my author's notes for the next chapter with what I'm looking for in a beta.
So, I don't really talk much about my personal life on here outside of my game progress and memories relating to plot points in Ballad, but I think I've mentioned it before that I live in Texas, and if anybody watches the news or anything you might've noticed that we've had some INSANE flooding the past couple weeks. My favorite part of downtown was essentially 10 feet underwater and the pictures were horrifying. Luckily most people I know are okay. I don't know anybody personally who lost their homes, but I hear their stories and it's a pretty frightening time. Luckily it seems like most of the rains have stopped? Where I'm at we're on day 3 with no rain. Everyone's so excited to see the sun again! Texans get so used to sunshine that we don't know what to do when it's not a constant in our lives anymore. I know I was starting to feel really depressed with all the flooding and tornadoes going on with no breaks for sunshine…
SO ANYWAY. PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEW! FOLLOW/FAV! Every single comment means so much, especially now that we're getting into the story that needs the most editing and most of my attention while I'm also working on my kh print for an upcoming art show T_T;; I appreciate any form of feedback you have to give~! Please review!